Monday, 9 June 2014

Close Mundee

Wonka here.  In the middle of the night (that is a song by thingy. uptown girl thingy.) Owner woke up and said was too hot infact boiling.  No the heating was not on.  What is the point she says in the morning when it is back to normal and to anyone else, warm, of being hot in the night and freezing in the daytime.  Now me, I was nicely, and as far as I know so was Bertie.  he even asked to go out and after the usual tussle with herself, Owner moved away from her anxiety ridden thoughts - (where Bertie goes out and disappears for ever.  Where Bertie goes out and instead of turning left at the gate turns right and tries to cross the busy motorway aka street.  etc ) and managed to let him out.  he stayed out for all of 2 minutes before the magnetism of Owner's anxiety drew him back into the yard and up the steps into the comparative (Owner suggested this word and I like it) safety of our home.  I love it.  the singers name?  is it driving you all mad out there in the wold too.  it is........

Fresh and closeish para.  What is Close.  Do you mean closed close.  NO!  We mean humid and intense close.  When Owner is describing the weather and it goes that horrid hot and sultry way we call it CLOSE.  And yes the heating is on all because Owner cannot trouble with Summer setting and Winter setting and fussing with water pressures and wotnot.  All I know is I am enjoying the kind of naps brought on by being warm and cosy and Bertie is not being a nuisance to me whilst crushed up against a baking hot radiator  just up from my amazon box.  it does mean a respite (like it) from the growling and hissing.  Now today Owner did not one but two jobs, and came home with a headache brought on she says by 1.  lack of caffeine and 2.  the intensity of not speaking to staff who are not speaking to you and you don't know why and it is annoying.   Have you asked them why they are not speaking to you I ventured.  NO BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT SPEAKNG only in short grunts she says.  Are you sure, Owner, I continued (like it a lot) they are grown up and not still little people.  QUITE SURE.  It is bound to be something simple I said, like they just don't like you, well not you, but how you do things, but she didn't hear me above mashing up Bertie's tea with a fork and supervising our feeding frenzy.   Far be it for me to criticise beloved Owner who does try really hard and my final advice to Owner is to STOP TRYING.  For our good cartoon today there is the one we promised and it is me who somehow got Owner laughing.  Rug had come in for his tea as per, and Owner was in the kitchen with him shielding him from me just outside the dining room door.  Then, I reached in with my paw, hooked the little black mousey on my claw and whisked him towards me!!  Owner laughed so much at this and is still finding it funny:
Ruggles is at the bottom there chomping down his tea when suddenly I reach round the door and hook mousey!! Owner is looking on in amazement.  You can also see the good purple kettle to the right hand side.  No I have never bothered with that mousey before.  It is not my main mousey.  I love it. 
Fresh, close and World Cup fact of the day para:  The English Team are all staying at the Royal Tulip Hotel in Rio.  it is 4 *.  Owner said it doesn't look anything special from the outside.  I said, except it is in Rio de Janeiro, just up from the beach and has spectacular views and such.  Some of the views said Owner show us what the city is really like.  They want to come here I said.  No Wonka, she goes, they don't.  Two days to countdown.  We love it.
Final closeish para.  The name of the singer good folks out there tearing your hair out and saying who sang that in the middle of the nigh hi hight...I go walking in my sleeeeeep...valley of is of course BILLY JOEL.   No sign of Tinkers as yet or Ruggles, and tomorrow I will tell you the story about Tinkers in the back yard with a good cartoon.   Tonight hi hight, we shall watch the triple batch of good soaps with 2 Xcorrie and 1 x Enders.  Gail has met with her burglar and he has said sorry.  yes.  From the confines of his prison that is and back on the outside Peetah says he will win Carling black eyebrows back!!  Hopefully before he gets arrested for the murder he did not commit.  Steve has been relieved of his partner which Owner says is a good thing as she was getting on her nerves, but like they all do,may cave in beg her forgiveness and take her back.  We love Steve and hope he finds true lerve, like Sally and Tim, our faves.  In Enders, another murder hunt is underway and can that be the main storyline and not the one with Shirlee's family's doings.  Now Dave has been packed off and Carol's scarf has faded into the laundrette or some such it is all eyes on Bianca and Sonyah. or not.  Now saints be praised and everything as tmro we have Celebrity masterchef to count on and Owner is already drooling about it.  Russell Grant is in it, who Owner has turned to for her stars!  Mercury, the planet of communications, is going backwards she reports (could this explain the no speaking I wondered??) but I am to get a trade up career wise.  I didn't know you had one I whispered from well behind the dining room do go steady good folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x