Saturday, 13 September 2014

Lost Queens Satdee

Wonka here.  and welcome any new folks from around the Wold as I like to say.  Today, Owner reports a (quote) RUBBISH NIGHT'S KIP.   do you mean sleep Owner I said back, how am I to know that Kip = sleep?  I ask you.  I was busy checking on Bertie Bub so didn't notice that she was toss turn turn toss and ending up with two inches of proper sleep stroke kip.  We were up with the lark and the feeding frenzy started.  yes Ruggles was outside for breakfast.  We love him.

Blimey!! you all gasp up in wonderment and say WHO IS THAT??  We think it is the famous Egyptian Queen Nefertiti who bobbed around in 1370 bc.  Owner was watching this programme on BBC2 and it was all about famous lost queens and such like.  Nefertiti was renowned for her beauty and all sorts, yes.  Well while she was being fascinated she noticed this ornament (alright ashtray) that has been a family relic since she can remember.  I THINK WONKA, she tells me, IT WAS BROUGHT BACK FROM EGYPT.  For a moment there I thought Owner meant a Tomb!!!  It turns out she means a family holidee.  As Owner is pretty ancient, it has been with us a fair while...joking!!  anyhow we think it is SHE, Nefertiti.  Of course I am a big fan of the ancient Egyptians because they loved us felines.  worshipped us rather and that good folks out there is how it should be!  I love it.

 Beautiful Queens para.   Why I says to Owner, do you think those pesky ancient Egyptians are so fascinating. it is a wonder of the World said Owner, the great pyramid and then there is the sphinx, and then the wonderful hieroglyphics - do you think I ventured (get me) your cartoons are a modern equivalent??  NOW THERE'S A THOUGHT she says back.  it strikes me that all those little pictures and drawings telling us what is going on have something in common.  However, I have made it clear to Owner I do not want to end up as a stuffed Mummy when I trot off to the next room.  not when everyone else has their own little box  (beloved Baba is in the shed of course!)  I PROMISE she says to me.  No I didn't ask about Bertie.  I love it.

More lost queens para.  so today it won't harm to be lost in the mists of Egypt and those magical times especially if it takes Owner's mind off (list) 1.  doing the rounds (visits to aged parent and sibling) 2. sorting out the accounts (disaster city) 3. doing a food order online.  this has turned out to be an anxiety ridden task.  I did say bring back the corner shop when there were a couple of decent assistants behind the counter looking at you and talking to you whilst getting your shopping!  I know this is true because I have seen it in some old black and white films.   It is a topsy turvy world goes Owner hitting the SUBMIT button.  it only brought up ERROR a couple of times which gave me chance to rush upstairs.  I love it.

Final lost para.  After doing the rounds which went well reports Owner and aged parent liked her in pink.  I WORE IT SPECIALLY she said, and then before they could have a funny turn over aged parent's lack of communication skills (according to Owner) she sped off to the happy place to go for a swim.  Many there? I whispered up from under the table.  A LOT OF DADS WITH KIDS she says.  But, and this is the important thing, she managed to keep the fast lane all to herself.  I did say that stare would frighten anyone off from joining you but she didn't hear me above letting Ruggles in for his teatime.   Just think all you good folk out there, if Owner had been an ancient Egyptian, she would have been in a chariot kicking up a storm and organising the entire country to a standstill!  And there would no silly old referendums!  All for one and one for all would have been the battle cry!!  Wasn't that the Muskateers she questioned up?  You get the hieroglyphic though!  tonight we are glued to the Hex Factor and it is the ARENA!!  if those poor half decent singers can sell themselves to the crowd and get a thumbs up (see how we have moved from Egypt to Rome??!) they will go to boot camp!  more excitement.  Again, if it sorts out Owner's high anxiety setting then I love it too.  And on a final positive note, Owner has finally realised that it is not the new and best washer at fault it is her.  I WAS PAUSING IT Wonka, she explained INSTEAD OF STARTING IT.  Why they have to combine these two different actions in one tiny button defeats me, but at last Owner will no longer stab at the button and start shouting at the machine.  Today?  it started like a dream.  I love it.  Now do go steady out there good folks in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x