Thursday, 2 October 2014

Fair Thursdee

Wonka here.  We all slept like tops if you must know, and thank goodness I did not need to chase Bertie in the night.  so when the alarm went off at 6 45 am we were none of us ready.  WHY oh why is it peeping off at that silly hour of the day?  do not forget good folks out there all living your peaceful organised lives, that in this house we operate on an IN CASE basis.  Everything is in case.  NO Owner is not safely out at work and is now feeling back on the scrap heap and NOT WANTED.  It will pass and come right I said (before my breakfast) and, snap out of it! (after my breakfast, and to be fair I whispered it from that dark corner by my new giant nest aka the settee).  I love it.

Fair para!  YES to brighten up Owner's dull and lacklustre existence, she and her friend are going to the Fair.  Where is it I ventured up?  NOT FAR she goes back.  It is only a tiny fair and it leaves here on Satdee to join a massive big as you like fair in Hull.  Hull Fair is famous.  Owner reports she used to take daughter to this fair, and once went on a ride that span you round and round with a tiny little strap to hold you in miles above the fairground.  How, I says, did you survive that knowing that Owner and heights cannot even be said really in the same sentence.  I DID NOT KNOW she says, what the ride was going to do.  In those days folks, panic attacks had not been invented so she didn't have one of those, but instead she said she (quote) switched off and pretended she was somewhere else til the ride touched back down.  BLIMEY I goes, how brave are you! (before I had a snack).  We love it.

Fair to middling para.  now yesterdee I promised you a cartoon and I do like to stick to these when I make them.  There is nothing worse in my life when Owner says I PROMISE and then forgets.  Alright this hardly ever happens.  So here it is:
 
There it is!!  good friend's caravan all parked up it has heating and electricity and everything!  Owner says the last time she was in a caravan they all argued in it.  Erase that memory from your mind Owner I says.  This caravan park is all lovely green and quiet.  We love it.
 
More fair to fairish para.  So Owner was a complete and utter whirligig yesterdee and I did warn to go steady, yes alright once more from behind the dining room door and she may not have heard me.  They had their tea down by the sea, and it was egg and chips which is Owner's fave, next to fish and chips.  This is where, she spies the poster all about the Fair.  Strapped to the railings above the beach.  It isn't on the beach going out to sea is it I joked up but she wasn't listening above moaning up about all these lacks in her life like (list) 1. work (It has only been a day) 2. Love (Owner falls in love daily) 3. she ran out of things.  I love it.
 
Final Fair para.  Friend is due for her tea any minute, and Owner is in a flurry of does this look alright shall I hoover put my boots on wear what I had on yesterdee til I said to Bertie stay in the cupboard for now.  Ruggles has been for his breakfast and was snug as a bug in the delux shed.  Tinkers has worn out another collar and is letting Owner give her lots of cuddles and strokes.  CAREFul I warned up, we cannot afford anymore inside!  Last night by the time she fell back in from going round the seafront and the town with friend (town deserted and closed by 6 pm - I did warn of this.  it is not Paris or New York but a sleepy seaside town) she managed half of Corrie and missed the bad bake off semi final altogether.  Thursdees are renowned (get me) for Nothing On.  And by the time she gets back from the Fair it will not matter.  tomorrow good folks I will tell all.  Until then, do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x