Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Disharmony Tuesdee

Wonka here.  I am reporting from the Narnia cupboard so I hope you can hear me?  Why you all shout up are you in there??..you will recall a morning way back in time when I woke Owner up from a deep slumber by having a spat with Bertie Bubb...well this morning it was Tinkers.  We chased round the bedroom down the stairs in the living room and back upstairs again.  WONKA!  she shouts and TINKERS!  What happened next was the bad door to the front bedroom stopped shutting itself.  It had been going wrong and Owner ignored it.  I WILL JUST NOT SHUT THE DOOR she goes.  So there she is at 5 30 am going at the broken lock with a hammer and a screwdriver.  No they are not cocktails!!   she finally wrenched the buckled metal plate from the lock that refused to lock.  The amazing thing is though dear folks out there all living in perfect homes with doors that open and close properly, yes the amazing thing is, she didn't cry (tick), go hysterical (tick) tell me off (BIG TICK)and carried on nicely with her morning duties.  I love her.

A little disharmonious cartoon:  this is a cartoon of me naturally, that Owner started but said it was not good enough for the fully illustrated Wonka's Christmas Story.  This is the one she has sent off to be looked at.  NO I haven't said hardly a word about it specially not today.  Owner fairly flew back in the good front door worrying about all of us saying things like her head was full of chemistry experiments and then dread fractions.  did you mean Fractious I ventured from deep within the Narnia cupboard but she didn't hear me above rushing upstairs to find me.  WONKA! she says not for the first time today, when she spies me on the shelf and the rest is history.
There I am!! why you all wonder up are there three cats in this cartoon??  it is a roughish sketch and the one on the right could be the phantom cat from the story plus drones Owner, they could be ghost cats -after all it is a Christmas Caterol with a small paw waved at our hero Charles Dickens.  We love him.

All at odds para.  So the day sort of carried on like this.  Owner finally got dressed after a lot of clothes refused to go on the right way.   Those leggings well it is hard to tell if they are back to front but I notice these things.  Then a phone call broke the spell.  BBBRRRRNNNGGGG.  it was the good consultant to tell Owner she is at the school for another two weeks.  This means no jarring phone calls and I can look forward to plenty of supplies.  What about you and Tinkers you all wonder up?  That is the question.  And because I have taken over the shelf in the Narnia cupboard, Bertie Bubb has gone upstairs to his other Narnia wardrobe.  Ruggles is oblivious (good use of word) to all of our spats and is living it up in the kitchen whilst Tinkerbooley is en suite.  And the paper stuffed in the door helps it stay shut.  Owner?  apart from a nasty scratch on her right hand which was a mistake on my part but I thought she was a Viking marauder come to take me away and my nerves were all shot to pieces thanks to Tinkers...I know it says do not bite the hand that feeds you but there is no mention of scratching it.  I am blaming the Father of the Kitwits for all of this.  I FORGIVE YOU WONKA says Owner feeding me my fave dreamie biscuits and fretting about me too.  She has pasted her hand with this green ointment that promises to heal in minutes.  here's hoping!!  I love it.

Final all put out para.  last night Owner trundled to bed early doors but did manage a dose of Corrie.  NO we didn't put Enders on and we are glad, as Staycee has taken over and so has the Queen Vic family which is ever increasing.  Like a big maths problem.  Tonight though we have good masterchef to restore harmony and light with our new interest Marcus the Wareing.  And apart from receiving another email whittering (love this word) on about evidence for this and producing the other, Owner is remarkably calm.  I have not mentioned renewing the car with no name's insurance and I'm not going to.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x