Thursday, 22 October 2015

Suddenly it Happened!

One minute I was minding my own business, alright I sneezed a couple of times AND sounded snuffley in the night AND look the picture of health BUT
'Are you alright Wonka?' goes Owner.........................and the next thing she is droning on about when I had the cat flu which was nigh on three and a half years' ago and how she couldn't stand this or that OR............. and before you can say Jack Robinson OR Gleb Savchenko (for all you strictly lovers PLUS owner who is in love. Da x) I am popped in the cat carrier and winched into the car with no name.  Next thing, after a small fight with said carrier, I am bundled out onto a table and this man is looking at me.

I mean.  In the past I have been called a champion, 'solid', and other complimentary words BUT massively overweight?  And, 'cut his diet by 50%???'  How will the others look up to me if I am reduced by 50%?  And Owner is nothing if not determined.  Already folks, I am searching for ONE biscuit OR a trough.  neither are in sight.  'My other cat, Bertie' trilled Owner to the vet, 'could do with some weight off too.'  So, the diet that Owner was calling a diet wasn't the REAL diet, NO.  This has been lurking, like a nightmare, ready to pounce on our furry tummies!!!  Are you still snuffly Wonka you all shout up to me.  Very slightly, although I am now injected at a massive cost (like my weight) against the flu.  I must keep the odd sneeze and snuffle going to (list) 1.  Keep Owner on her toes. 2.  make her feel guilty about enjoying herself on the Big Trip and 3. I like it. end of.

Now all of you fatties out there who are tres HUGE or Surpoids or izbytochnyy ves (I need to lay down after that - Gleb would understand.) you can always share in this diet thing.  MORE exercise (he is getting that droned Owner, leaping here, checking there, playing the other) and LESS troughing.  Little and often said the nice Vet and I loved him.

Do enjoy you big fat day folks, smooth that fur down and go get em! Big Love Wonka X