Friday, 15 July 2016


Halloah up folks howdy doodee and especially we say to BONJOURS and COMMENT to our pals in frenchy France.
NOUS SOMMES ADORE.  and what we mean to say is, we love you end of and fact up.X

I mean in this house I mean maison Owner says we operate under a strict ruling of NO SURRENDER.  What I says to her do you mean Owner and she says this:

never give in - even when YOU DON'T GET THE JOB you spent hours preparing for only to get there and find at least ONE internal candidate younger and younger and much younger than you AND already working there.

DON't get upset when they ring you days later to say YOU ARE NOT successful (EH? Owner not  a success??x) despite giving a good interview and not being distracted by laughing between the panel of three. And the one who never smiled.

AND MOST IMPORTANT - when the agency who you sacked off because they failed to offer you even a zero hour (don't get Owner started on jezzer and his lecture on zero hours she will froth at the mouth.x) rings you out of the blue with an offer of 6 days work and you mull it over and accept it AND THEN they ring you and say it is cancelled.  EVEN THEN, frothed Owner, you must not surrender.X

There we are!! YES it is that time of year when the swallows are swooping and the gulls are all mewling in the night to their baby gulls that Owner has insisted on calling tweenies.  I knowX
Whilst we have been busy on our no surrendering folks it is business as usual for me.  Bertie is certainly thinner ish and set against the Brexit stuff.  He especially did not like it when Tresa May said 'Brexit means Brexit.'  Ruggles is fast into his new routine of sleeping in his en suite (the kitchen) and then departing to do the same in his box in the luxury shed. ME? very busy keeping pace with the goings on at Number Ten.  it has taken over Owner's life (what's left of it) and mine really.  Theresa May got into the hot seat seconds after the Dreadsome lady cancelled herself out of the running. That Gove chappie got sacked which means DE RIEN said Owner (more frothing) as he will simply land another massively paid job round the corner.  A nice bloke called Owen (we like that name and he is Welsh we like them) has put in for Jezzer's job saying things like there can only be one contender and I'm going to sort Labour out.  What of the Eagle in all of this?  She is still winging it and has had her hair done Owner reckons and says she was her fave.X
The argy bargy contined on with the appointment of wait for it huge and massive roll on the drums and on the ground.......................BORIS the ex mayor ex brexiter ex candidate for well anything  YES he has only landed on his flippers and got a new job as foreign secretary!! NO it's not a bird or a plane it's an actual real live joberooni.  I cannot say too much about jobs at the minute seeing as Owner HAS NO JOB to speak of and we are all heading for starvation city.  End of and job fact up.X
WHAT ELSE has been going on in your week Wonka? you all whisper up anxious to know.  I have a new shrub to look out on and it is a chappie called Hydranga. It is green and shrubby and no flowers as yet BUT when it does they could be pink or blue and I love it.  The apple tree lost two apples and Owner has turned into Sherlock holmes about it.  I have blamed it on a bird. NOT those pesky Vikings, not this week.X
Telly wise we have clung to every soap on offer and Saint Todd is in luv with Billy as you know, Kylie says she is going to Barbados and thingy in the kebab shop has told those scallies where to go. We await the disaster that is sure to follow folks. In Enders all we know is that Cafee is having a fling with Shirlee's bloke so it cannot but end in fisticuffs. thankfully celebrity masterchef has come up trumps with the likes of JIMMEE OSMOND yes sirree and GLEB from strictly although he is never going on it again. There is also a boxer called Audely and Owner says that is one of her faves.X
I hope folks and mesdames and messures that my weekly round up has given you a taster of the MESS we are in countrywise, townwise, tellywise and Ownerwise.  And last but not least when Dave left his top job on Wednesee he gave a final performance in the House of Commons complete with jokes about Jezzer being the black knight.  yes, Jezzer has clung on to his leadership despite Owner shouting at the telly and me shouting at Owner shouting.  We love it.  Take it steady out there folks, and keep your fur up!
Big Love Wonka X