Saturday 26 August 2017

Nothing to be Scared Of!!

HOWDY UP FOLKS! and how are you all this brightish, warmish bank holidee weekend alright it is in our tiny isle BUT might not be where you are.  IF you are basking in uncomfortably hot temperatures (I need to zzzzzzzzzzz after all those long words) then it is your fault End of.  Back here all is happening.X

 
There we are folks!! You recall I did mention Owner going into Hospital for a ROUTINE thingy wotsit?? Well it has happened and she is back home and already (this is how I know Owner is on the mend) her and my beloved Auntie that is Owner's daughter ARE ON EACH OTHER'S NERVES.  but in the meantime Owner has some very important Hospital tips if you ever have to pop into hospital yourselves.  I mean I know all about this from the Vets, when they say OH YES he can have a 2 week really expensive injection but NO ONE Personne, says alright Wonka you will feel a tiny scratch do they?? there is no warning about any of it, including taking temperatures either.  herewith Owner's helpful List:
 
 
1.  Take their advice ONLY when it suits you, it feels alrightish, you like them.  if you cannot say YES SIRREE to any of them then do not take the advice just follow your own.
 
2.  The all important instruction to RELAX.  this is only ever issued when you are about to experience pain, or feel horrid, or be uncomfortable.  On no account relax, do stiffen up every muscle and get tensed up ready for the horrid pain.  Scream loudly at will and ignore the nasty nurse who is ready for retirement and should not be there anymore.
 
3. Hospital is NOT A PRISON.  if you cannot escape as early as you would like and you have exhausted every known escape route - befriending a nurse, paying deep respect to the Doctors, pouring the evidence away down the loo if you think they won't like it - then simply sign yourself out.  Even though you will be made to feel a silly billy who is risking their life by doing it.  you know, it is only to save them a giant law suit when you die ten mins after getting in the taxi home.
 
4.  laughter really is the best medicine and I'm pleased to say Owner has laughed out loud albeit ironically on a number of occasions now.  This reassures me, Ruggles and Bertie that normal service is nearly resumed.
 
 
5.  Last but not least, if the only real bit of advice is not to lift anything heavier than a kettle it does mean not lifting me up.  I take umbrage (get me! X) at being described as the side of a house by Owner but I can outdo a kettle any day.X
 
 
All of this means the silly season is still on FULL POWER and we must watch end to end boxsets, bad films and wotnot. Owner has kept up with Corrie, ignored Enders mostly for fear it will undo all the good work of the hospital and even defy lifting a kettle.  There is much to look forward to as the Hex Factor is back and Autumn beckons not to mention the birthday of nearly all in the family. I know.X
 
There is still no real news from Tresa Grey or Jezzer except he has popped up at  a few rallies but it may be his double anyway.  As for Vinnie we still have high hopes.  Donwald the Trump continues his childlike grasp of heavy duty politics by simply doing away with stuff he doesn't like or not eating it.X
 
Now it is the last week of August when people are still GOING ON HOLIDEE and such like.  Give it a week or so and then September beams down with all the reason and sense we will need for the run up to...................nearly said it but changed my mind folks. XX
 
Bertie continues to cost a fortune and Ruggles is enjoying his days like the senior citizen he is.  Me?? thanks for asking and just about coping with Owner's efforts to rest. (not going to happen) and relax (???) so just to say folks, go and have a beauty week full of sweets and films and good things and whatever you do, get that fur combed!  Look nice and be nice!!  Big Love Wonka X


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