Saturday 3 February 2018

How to survive FEB !!

When Owner woke up to Feb folks, she vowed to............
EMBRACE IT. Personally, I would avoid it at all costs, it is a short, dark still, dank and drear month with only a couple of things to recommend it. WHAT ARE THEY WONKA? you all shout at me fed up already with FEB.X

 
There we are folks!!a flashback FEB to the old outback, when Ruggles lived mostly OUTSIDE in the luxury shed and the luxury kennel BEFORE he decided it was nicer and warmer INSIDE with me Owner and the Bubster.  Bertie bubb or Bertrude as it is now known, trialed it outside for a couple of weeks until Owner announced she would have to bring it in.  OH I said.XX
 
 
Other good news about FEB:
 
1.  Valentines Day folks and a chance to tell your secret love you love them.  I do worry that Owner is missing out here, despite her new hair colour (TICK) and general good health (new Vegan diet, TICK new fitness regime TICK) but until she joins in with the rest of the civilised world - I mean.X
 
2.  Pancake Day.  We do love a pancake and hopefully there is a VEGAN substitute laying in wait.X
 
3. Owner says LENT is lurking somewhere and even this folks if it is true is good news IF you want to give something up YOU LOVE. Owner did say she had already given up most things and cannot go that extra mile with say giving up Corrie. for once folks I agreed wholeheartedly as my sorry life would be NOT worth the effort if Owner stopped with Corrie.  Enders yes, Corrie NO. NON!!! X
 
4.  It is the start of the new Chinese year folks and it is the Year of the Dog.  We love dogs,  YES we do, and there are many #wonkastories devoted to Owner's dogs - Sam is in the #Duffel stories, and Diva has a story all of her own!! X
 

 
There she is! Owner's beloved Diva - her own angel dog and my old mate Golly knew Diva and they loved each other too. hankies out!.....hankies back! XX
 
Now you are all hanging off your settees to know how Owner fared with her 3 UNIQUE selling points.  Well I can tell you now that thanks to Shadow (Owner's hairdresser) and thanks to my advice about what to wear she did look the BIZ.  Never mind those points, she droned to me, I just need to look gorgeous. And blow me down she even liked the nice consultant when she finally tracked the agency down in the maze of units on the industrial estate.  DO YOU HAVE ANY WORK for me, was Owner's interrogation style and I have to admire her cutthroat straight for the jugular approach.  Take No Prisoners! was my advice as she fell out of the door to get in the car with no name.  Unless they are out and out liars Wonka, she told me when she fell back in, there is a chance of some work. IF they like my selling points................ I know.XX
 
In other news, Tresa Grey won't shut up about anything.  she keeps coming out with silly morsels of information (I refuse to call them soundbites X) that promises the waiting public just about everything.  I did say to Owner this reminded me of Jezzer and his sidekick John Mcgonnical or whatever his silly old name is, as they seem to want to remove this hellish government and replace it with paradise. Lost. the others are all quiet as mice, so are they all hatching up a giant plan?  HURRY UP.  Donwald the Trump is still pretending to be a president and surely will bring out a book soon. NO we didn't watch his silly billy interview as we don't want to hear him or that other one.  End of.X
 
Now over on the telly we have clung to our faves for dear life.  In this wasteland of telly drama we loved Kiri with Sarah Lancashire she can do NO WRONG in this house, and beyond that we are going to try a requiem or something like that.  If it is scary Owner will stall at the first fence so we shall see.  In corrie bless its big heart, Carling black eyebrows has seduced thingy or Daniel who is that awkward boy in the Barlow dynasty.  Peter is jealous BUT does not know that Carling is a kidney short of a full pack.  Thingy told ZZEEEEdan she had fallen in love with another girlie BUT she still loved him and could not understand why he was upset....Feelan is still being nasty and NO ONE is stopping him and big TIM has left with nice Faye as they hate him so much.  Over in Enders the long and winding storyline of the Heist is still going strong.  the light relief for Owner, is Staycee had nothing to do with the Heist and has locked herself in the house with the childer.  Likewise tiffannee lampshade is in there too.  We look forward to Casualtee  which in Owner's view EXCELLED itself last week and have to fit in the VOICE, the new one, ALL TOGETHER NOW and then falling on ice.  and yes, for the third week, LAMARR is saved.X (we all want that kind of luck said Owner and I have to again agree, Even Jason who is Mr Nasty judge saved him. I mean.X)
 
I do hope folks this will go some way to sorting out your FEB. Surely someone will want Owner (for a good day's work folks and yes if you are a millionaire reading this you could do a lot worse for your money just saying.X) and we can all sit back and relax whilst she is out slaving away for our biscuits and such.  I am still on a diet and I cannot understand why I only get a miniscule portion and Ruggles has 2 pouches. Bertrude as you know eats at will so really folks I do think I have a case.XX
 
So best paws forward for the second week of FEB and do your upmost to turn it into a FUN FEB week!!Big love Wonka X
 
 
 


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