Saturday 26 January 2019

Is it February yet?

Howdy up folks and how are you all faring this dull grey mildish late January day Heh HEH???ME? thanks for asking, and more or less alright - I am maintaining my weight (of which I am very proud) by supplementing my diet with Squeak's kitten food - for some reason both me and da Ruggles are enjoying this and I know we are ADULTS or as Owner will have it, Seniors, but we always take a peak in the nursery and see what Squeak has got (that we haven't.)  I am not going to mention the two outsiders that are still hiding near to the little outback waiting for Owner to give them a scrap or morsel of our cat food.  NO.  I said I would not give them a mention.X

 
 
There he is!! Rafa!! and you say WHY WONKA are we looking at him?  Because dear folks, he is through to the Australian Open and is to play against Novak!!  it is all very exciting to see these two giants of the tennis court face each other and I am hoping for Rafa to smash it and so it Owner!  Murraymint has folded and dearest Roger is also fading which leaves these two!!Tomorrow we will be searching this match out.XX
 
Now what else you all wonder up, has been going on.  Not a lot folks.  Owner had a shout for work the other week and came out the other side - the neighbours are still obsessed with lining up the bins in the right order (? it does make Owner shout though) and Squeak is still running up the curtains.  The best thing of all was Owner buying a pair of boots in the Dorothy Perkins sale and as soon as I set eyes on them I says Owner they are NOT you - but as you know when I say these words of wisdom it is usually from inside a cubby hole at the top of the house where only a spidder might hear me. WAS I RIGHT you all gasp up coming to life on your various settees.  of course I was.  So back she goes, suddenly coming to and realising they look silly on her feet.  WONKA! THEY LOOK SILLY ON MY FEET I WILL TRY TO TAKE THEM BACK. She reported that the shop assistant stroke manager was not keen on giving Owner anything in return (except a hard time) for the already reduced boots that Owner had peeled all the stickers off, but said she could 'look for something else....'  WHAT IF droned Owner back to her, I can't find anything is there anything else on offer (IE the £s back) - the possibility of a gift card was announced.  Owner duly went round the shop and found zilch and luckily (I said) turned her nose up at a shapeless burgundy dress jumper and a furry pink one.    She has never to my knowledge suited burgundy and she would have roasted in the furry pink.  OH she goes to the woman, you'll have to stick it on a gift card - I'd rather not says the woman as WHY did you take all the labels off just to walk round the house in them? and Owner goes 'I know! I thought the same!'  The end of the story is that of course Owner got a gift card.  I know.XX
 
One sentence will sum up the pollytics of the moment and that is to say GroundHog day.  More voting on the same thing that has been voted on before that everyone said was rubbish and so on.  The EEEWE wants us to stay and the same people say NO we want to leave with nothing!  All the rich folks are busy betting and moving money and business to suit and all the poor folk suck up all the lies.  No change whatsoever.  And it all makes Owner shout.X
 
 
 
There he is! our fave Emmanuel from The Voice XX
 
Meanwhile on the telly we have clung to The Voice, to the Ice prance where a big lady called Gemma had words with Jason who is the cutthroat judge and Holly and Fil just stood there listening for what seemed like hours - and then there is Icons which Owner has studiously voted on to find out who is the greatest of them all - in Corrie Sal has finally got out of the nick and is big mates with Abi who is our fave - Carling black eyebrows is in lerve with Peetah (again) and ameee is having a babe to Tyler who is the bully of symon.  There is enough there folks to keep us stuck to it like that contact glue under the sink.
 
So folks that is all the blithering goss for this week - we are still pink lint, skint NO MUNNEY, and it is still January not yet freezing February.  BUT we must button up our furry coats, sharpen our claws and grip tightly to the week ahead folks!  AND Owner has taken a punty gamble on tonight's lotto - if daughter's dream comes to pass (Owner winning on it) you won't see me for the bits of cat litter clinging to my paws.................Big Love Wonka XX
 
 


Saturday 19 January 2019

A Wonka Story for you! An Egyptian Tale


Folks - without further ado and to cheer you up during January when we are all pink lint (skint - de rien to spend! rien de money!!) here is one of my fave tales - The Egyptian Tale which is one of the two stories in print - published by #austinmacauley but you can find it in the shop in the sky amazen oh alright amazon and also on smashwords too - it is a hot summer's tale so that should make you feel warm and snug - so on with the kettle for that nice cup of tea and enjoy!! X
Wonka Presents! – An Egyptian Tale

Copyright 2015 Madeleine Masterson


 

 

 

Wonka and me liked a good sunny day, he, in his warm spot crushed up against the skirting in a pool of light whilst I favoured the back door step in the full glare of the mid-day sun.

‘You’ll be too hot there.’ He advised from the dining room.

‘I know!’ I shouted back; but just there, in the heat with the jungle-like greenery of the yard, it was blissful.  I sipped my strong tea and relaxed.  Ah, Summer.

 I was just drifting off when Wonka chirped up again.

‘Did you ever wonder where Gingertop went?’

Yes. Yes I had.  He had been a regular highly anti-social visitor all last year.  Ruggles, newly established as King of the ‘Out Back’ would practically wave him in, let him chomp down all the food on his plate and see him off.  Gingertop was a haughty tom cat (not checked…) with piercing green eyes.  Then, he vanished.

‘Where’s Gingertop?’ I used to ask Ruggles, who just looked at me with his angel-like big fat bonny face.  Here, Wonka was on top of the game.

‘Oh Wonka, not your Egyptian theory again!’ and as I said it, I slowly twisted and rubbed my bangle, rescued from the toy box where it had lived for years to wear it as a bracelet instead.  The story was, it had been brought back from the very site of the Great Pyramids by the river Nile, and presented to Mum and Dad as a gift from afar. 
 

 

 

Children have no respect for the history just the usefulness of the thing, and when it ended up in the toy box with all the multitude of bric a brac – well me and my brother maybe used it now and then as a decoration in our vast cities of building blocks and cars, with a few good ornaments standing in as people.  The bangle was inscribed all round with strange hieroglyphs as secret then as they were now. 

 
 
 
 



As I rubbed it I seemed to see him, our Egyptian, standing by the wrought iron gate which was rather funny as I never was able to see him before (according to Wonka).

‘Shall I tell the story then?’ went Wonka, from his sideboard look out.

‘Called?’ I enquired, settling myself nicely on the stone step in readiness.

‘It’s an Egyptian tale,’ said he, and began to tell it.


 

 

As Wonka tells it from his sideboard look out, the last time he saw Gingertop was his usual perch on the big ledge outside the kitchen window.  He was waiting to leap down to pinch Ruggles’s tea time and whip off again.  All very standard and part of the yard routine, as Gingertop would arrive at daily intervals and leap up onto the wide windowsill, settling his ginger behind and tail against the window box full of pinks.  This time though, he was not alone and had brought someone with him. According to Wonka, it was a strapping young man and a complete stranger; I say according to Wonka, because he was invisible to me and taxed my imagination dreadfully.  Although it wasn’t a crime scene, I needed an image to help me out and with the following information, prized from Wonka, I captured our stranger on my sketch pad:
 


Next thing, said Wonka, he shouted at him.

 ‘Oi!’ He shouts up, through the best double glazing.   The strange young man was just by the healed up and new back door, and not dressed for cold weather but entirely in keeping with the hot; and he had a skirt on. As we all know the Vikings were dressed up to the nines in their leathers and wotnot wielding cutthroat axes and such AND the even more pesky Celts were hard at it armoured from top to toe; but this one, a few jewels sparkling about and a big headscarf, as faithfully described to me by Wonka.  I mean.

‘WHO ARE YOU?’ He then shouted up.  Gingertop may have heard and translated.

Wonka caught the words PYRAMIDS, KITCHEN and BASTET.

In the kitchen, there is an old poster of the great pyramids tacked to the wall; it was above Rugglesis head until it came unstuck and, in case it fell on him and frightened him into leaving us (I think not), it was moved to another spot; but it was still there and still visible from outside.  The Egyptian theme continued as standing on a little corner shelf up against the kitchen window that cannot open, is Bastet.  This small black statue is made of cheap clay and the ear fell off it but this was re-modelled and painted over.  She, as you will know is a Cat God revered throughout the feline Kingdom, and has little flowers popped at her feet regularly.

This, Wonka approves of.

 

 


 
 

  

Where was I?  Oh yes, so you could say the kitchen was already part shrine to Ruggles and part shrine to the pesky Egyptians. 

‘Is he stopping?’ Wonka again mouthed, this time at Gingertop.

‘Might be.’ And off he or she jumped clear over the step and round the top of the passageway.  He though, stayed put.  As he was close enough for Wonka to check him out thoroughly he did manage to spot a name, a gleaming inscription on his armlet: Ramondo.

As for me, I could not see him.  Wonka described the life out of him, pointed with his paw to the place in the yard where he was stationed, and noted he was looking for something.  I did advise Wonka, that if he was a proper guard, he would have one of those big highly decorative staffs with him.’

‘What no staff?’ Wonka continued his one sided conversation through the glass.  This time the strange young man turned and eyeballed Wonka, who had never been  this close up to a real live Egyptian before and it was what he called a smack on look.  At the same time, he shook his head and put his hands out in a ‘don’t know where the heck it is’ gesture.

‘He says he’s lost it.’ Wonka reported back to me, ‘and he’s drawing something on the ground!’  He was as well!  From somewhere he had found a bit of chalk and was hard at it, drawing loads of those little pictures.  Funnily enough although I couldn’t see him, I could see his cartoon alright and trotted out back to take a photo. ‘If we can decipher this Wonka,’ I went, all excited, ‘we can figure out why he’s turned up!’


 

As Wonka is keen to recount, Ramondo, our new found Egyptian used Sam’s old drinking bowl when he was thirsty, scooping the water out with his hands.  Sam had been one of my faithful hounds and I liked to think was still hanging about protecting us and that. 

‘Hungry?’ quizzed Wonka, making a gobbling motion to indicate eating.  Wonka had a modest appetite despite his size which worried the Vets far more than it did me – and he was rightly concerned that Ramondo, far from home, might be peckish.  With that, our new guard on the block, produced a handful of berries.  No wonder they were all so fit and strong I muttered to Wonka, imagining this scene as Wonka faithfully described it to me.

‘And then,’ continued Wonka, ‘he sat on the back door step, where you are now, and closed his eyes for five minutes.’

I was too busy examining the photo of the cartoon to listen to all of Wonka’s reports that day, and luckily, had drawn it all before the strangest thing happened!  The entire set of photos faded and vanished.  Wonka said I had deleted them by accident, but I knew different.  Once I had the cartoon in the right sequence I shared it with Wonka, who checked it out with Ramondo.

‘Yes, he says you’ve done a decent job.’ Apparently Ramondo gave my pictures the thumbs up and showed the most excitement when we got to the picture of my bangle. ‘Why?’ I had said to Wonka, ‘has he drawn my bangle and Bastet?’

 
 
 
 

 

 

 

At this, Wonka says Ramondo cast his eyes upwards in a gesture of despair, but I only have his (Wonka’s) word for that.  I had pieced the little pictures or what we liked to call a cartoon together and first off decided that Ramondo was a long way from home.

 

 



 

Yes and the next cartoon picture confirmed this, as it showed a coffin –

‘Sarcophagus!’ corrected Wonka, yes one of those being transported up the Nile.

‘I wonder if he knew any of those famous ancient Egyptians?’ I pondered, ‘there are so many!  I had drawn one of them, Queen Nefertiti, and realised it could be seen  from where Ramondo was supposed to be standing, through the window to where it was in prime place on my cork notice board.

 

 

‘He probably thinks this is a shrine or a temple.’ observed Wonka having one of his light bulb moments, and with that, Ramondo knelt down on the stony ground of the yard in a sort of bowing down motion.  It seemed as though Wonka could be right.



 

‘What if he does know Nefertiti,’ I went to Wonka, who was even now proposing we listen to the news in case there was anything going on; ‘What, like a missing ancient Egyptian! Oh and not to forget the staff!’   I was talking to thin air though, and turned my attention back to the cartoon series.


 
The journey up the Nile, seemed to be headed for our very own British Museum, situated in London.  It held many wonderful artefacts, but was most renowned for holding onto a lot of mummies and ancient tomb relics.  Again, the Egyptians were held in high esteem in our household, having knowledge of cat power long before we did, and Wonka would not hear anything against them – not even in this new century when cats did not seem quite so prominent. 

I had visited the Museum, a few years ago, which really demanded a full on commitment of several days to look round it, not a few measly hours; I recalled the entrance, guarded by Lions, and so was not surprised to see that Ramondo had included one of them in his drawings.  As I mused over it, Wonka gave up a shout from the living room.

 

 

 

‘What did I tell you!’ The six o’ clock news read by that nice newsreader with the funny name (our favourite) was blaring out and had some breaking news, with the annoying rolling type at the bottom of the screen.

‘MISSING MUMMY police have been called in to investigate the disappearance of a recent addition to the new EGYPTIAN EXHIBITION –‘

The camera then switched from the reporter outside (and standing next to the very Lion I had just been looking at!) to a plinth, in a darkened room, with nothing on it.

More information came rolling along the screen, and Wonka took notes.  ‘There is an obvious connection,’ he muttered,’ between Ramondo and this mystery.’

But what it was, we didn’t find out until later, on the Ten o’clock news.



The later news report said that a domestic supervisor (that’s a cleaner we think) had found the staff, also sighted on the 6 25 out of Kings Cross.  ‘Whoever it was,’ said the nice looking reporter,’ left it in the rest room at York Station.’ York, hitherto mostly famous for the Romans, the Races and its Minster, received much interest after this, and many enquiries as to their Egyptian heritage of which it had none. On an even later news report which Wonka stayed up specially for, whilst I understandably needed an early night, he heard more about this strange journey. 

‘It was on the twenty four seven news network channel,’ he told me the minute I woke up.’ According to an eye witness, a scantily clad young man dressed as an ancient Egyptian, asked where the Shrine of Bastet was, and presuming this to be the new cosmopolitan corner shop at the end of our street, directed him there!’ We reckoned that Gingertop, always lurking round corners and streets, had then guided him – him being Ramondo – to our back yard.

‘Probably a bit homesick,’ said Wonka, now back on the side and waiting for Ramondo to reappear.  I did wonder how Ramondo knew about my kitchen statuette but of course the ancients knew far more than we give them credit for; thoughts of a reward made me ask Wonka whether we should contact the British Museum?

‘If you can find a contact number for one of the most famous museums in the land, I’ll give you a reward! So I sent them an email instead, brief and to the point.

To whom it may concern

A young ancient Egyptian, who calls himself Ramondo has

turned up in my back yard; he thinks this is a shrine of Bastet

and also thinks we know his aunty (Nefertiti). He is quite harmless

and in good health (to-date).   Is this, your missing artefact?

 

I signed it off and sent it, once Wonka had checked for spelling and grammar.  More or less immediately, we received a reply.  One of those automatic ones which advised us:

Ms Binkerton will be out of the office until further notice.

‘Well that’s handy,’ I sighed at the lack of customer service and came up with another solution. ‘Why don’t we just buy him a return ticket and see him on the train Wonka?’







Wonka gave my idea some thought, and also made attempts to communicate this to Ramondo.  His puzzled expression had us on the run for a while, until I had the better idea of drawing a cartoon of it.

As I prepared the sequence, showing me and Wonka assisting him to the train station, with details of his journey back to the museum (walking, not the underground we thought best), I popped the radio on, for a nice soothing bit of music.

‘Do you think this looks like the 9 50 am out of York Wonka?’ I queried, including the platform number and a sign for the rest room. I was just going to draw the Lost Property so he could reclaim his staff when the news came on the radio:

‘- and we are going over to our roving reporter at the British Museum. What can you tell us John?’

 

John gave us a short history of the missing artefact (Ramondo) the latest sighting (Aberdeen.  We disregarded this) and then gave us the most startling news of all.

‘The curator of this particular section in the museum had quite a surprise this morning, when instead of an empty plinth next to the display cabinet containing an elaborate sarcophagus, he found a ginger cat sitting on top of it.  The metropolitan police are treating the case as a possible kidnap and have issued the following number for the public to contact them on………….’

 



Gingertop and the mystery of his disappearance was solved.  For Wonka that is.

It looked like him, of course it did, but how this swap had taken place was as mysterious as the pyramids themselves.

‘Shall I continue?’ I wondered if the journey back could be made quicker perhaps with a few incantations……. Wonka told me not to be so fanciful and apparently Ramondo was keen for another train journey.

 

‘Have we to surmise then,’ I said to Wonka ‘that he’s come all this way to find Bastet?’

Wonka however, was busy having a fair go at showing Ramondo what had happened to Gingertop.  As charades go it was a decent attempt, but when I drew it and held it up for my invisible ancient Egyptian to see, this clinched it.

‘He says – ‘ started Wonka

‘Yes?’ I prompted.

‘His Gods are pleased!’ he finished.  Ramondo had gone through a lengthy charade himself, with praying hands and eyes cast skywards and such like reported Wonka.

I did offer, via Wonka, to run him up to the station but now he had accomplished his purpose, I was assured that he would be returned swiftly.

‘As swiftly as the sands of the desert, when they fly up into a storm.’

Listening to Wonka’s pronouncement I did wonder if he had been watching ‘Flight of the Phoenix’ again with Jimmy Stewart (our fave), but this was about a crashed plane in the desert and not an ancient Egyptian in sight.


 

Later that evening, when the sky was on the turn and I had spotted the first glittering star out back, we attended to the news.

‘…and over to our roving reporter at the British Museum for the latest on the missing artefact.’  Suddenly we were gazing at a darkened room with a glass case under several spotlights.  I had always favoured this kind of lighting and had been faithful to the desk lamp in all my rooms, and when they were off it was good old candles.

And then we saw him, at least I saw him for the first time – our Ramondo, lying gracefully in the casket with (I thought) a pleased expression on his face.   Of course it wasn’t a real person or anything, it was one of those elaborate mummified objects that the Egyptians were busy producing all day long, but John the roving reporter, was full of it.

‘….an eye-witness says that this particular display case was empty only half an hour ago! And there are reports coming in of a strangely clad young man posing for American tourists by the lions!!’

Definitely Ramondo then, as Wonka said, he did come across as a proud and fine 

Egyptian.

 There was no mention of Gingertop in John’s news though, and although we switched to the relentless twenty four seven news channel (at Wonka’s insistence) it was now focussed on a hitherto unknown American making a bid for the White House.  As for my email, like many before and after, it was politely ignored.

And so it was, that Wonka’s tale ended.  Except for one thing really; some days like this one, when the sun was fierce and strong and I sat on the step basking in it, (and turning the bangle) whilst Wonka splayed out on the sideboard, there was the sense of being guarded.  Just a little glimpse sometimes, a certain scent in the air that suggested an ancient presence.  Could it be?

 

 



The End

 
 


Saturday 12 January 2019

*****How Is The New Year looking*****

Helloa Up there folks all looking weary with the newness of the year, wondering if those GREY skies will ever be blue again AND feeling the pinch.  NOT TO WORRY folks, because I am back to brighten up your January blues or should that be greys??
FIRST UP have you  set a million and one goals like my best Owner in the entire know universe NAY galaxy (and I am not talking chocolate folks.X) ??

Before I reveal what they are yes even the secret ones, here is our first cartoon offering for 2019:
 
 
There we are folks!  and if you have recently enjoyed our trilogy (get me X) starting with Spooky Tale you will know this is our very own Ginger Tom - Owner spied him in a display cabinet in a shop early last year and immediately recognised him 'Don't worry Ginger Tom!' she whispers up - 'I am going to buy you and bring you home.' which is what she did with the money she didn't have. again.  But folks, he is the star of the show in that story and if you missed it - just go back a few of my bloggy blogs before the New Year and you will spy it - and if you like that one, read the next two! XX
 
Now onto the serious stuff and that is Owner's goals for 2019
 
1.  Join a gym and do some workouts PLUS go swimming again (tick)
 
2.  Go back to the college to annoy a lot more students (tick)
 
3.  Do be gracious in the face of deeply annoying people (in progress - possibly a long term goal - life long even.X)
 
4.  Be nice to my hair (working on it.  I have hidden the nail scissors so she can't keep snipping at it.X)
 
5.  Sort out aged sibling (this is Owner's ongoing goal and she has to bypass A LOT of annoying people on the way).  Can she achieve this goal folks? YES SHE CAN.X
 
The secret goal is to stop being impatient and want everything to happen in the blink of an eye.  I did say to Owner, that is your deeply ingrained anxiety at work fuelled by an overall stress with the challenges of life itself WHICH I continued, will not stop in its tracks for you Owner - I have to admit I said it in a whisper from under the red settee which as you know is propped up with books and has a big duvet slung over it to hide in.  She may not have heard me and even if she did, she will have rushed off to do something else - like ringing someone up to hurry them along, or fill out a form that could wait for another month OR prepare for next month half way through this one.  I know.X
 
Folks are you watching anything on the old flat screen?  Owner has clung to Corrie that old faithful and has not been let down - mad jennee and her equally unstable hubbie Johnnie boy are both at fault for mowing Liz down alright by mistake but then trying to hide it!!  I mean!  poor Sally is being done over by nasty low lifes in prison whilst Tim is trying to force horrid thingy Duncan to confess all and INSTEAD he seems to have come up against some natural justice............ I admit Owner has looked briefly at Enders and to her horror it has been taken over by Staycee lookalikes YES who are being bullied, who are being offered a chance to have a relationship with thingies daughter (and let's face it, out of those two which would you choose?X) and people like Shazzer and Fil are nowhere to be seem  also (according to Owner who was starting to shout and froth a bit) it is overrun with babees and small children and bi polar mothers.  This last one was a tad too close to home folks and I made her switch back to the burble on the other side.  also a big hit in this house is the Voice (huge tick) as they are all warbling including the judges and we love it.  Dancing or should I say moving like a piece of wood over the ice and then having the soul knocked out of you by those judges and mean humourless Jason is also a big hit on Sundees.  Casualtee was a mite boring and Owner says this is not completely down to Charlie Farley being boring. OH I says back.  Owner couldn't watch Les Miserables on Sundee night as the clue is in the title.  NOT sundee night watching she says up.X

 
Now all is getting a bit silly down at the allotment and also in that big chamber they call the House of Commons.  There is even a drama out of it now which Owner watched half way through but said was too real for comfort.  And there is no comfort or let up with the blastit process - the lemmings are hurling themselves towards the cliff edge and jezzer and his merry band of men are hoping for a general election so they can lose that again.  Tresa Grey we think is busy packing a big suitcase for an extended holiday where she can begin her memoirs as that is what ex PM's do.  Vinnie may or may not be around we are not sure but good Caroline keeps piping up AND Yvette Cooper has also been hitting some headlines.  Donwald the Trump has successfully brought the US of A to a standstill and it is fair to say they have hit a wall.XX
 
Folks this last week has been so busy bee WITH some results and even the clouds had that silver lining attached - next week we must push ahead with those goals!!  Give yourselves a good wash round and fluff up your furry fur!! Big Love Wonka XX
 

Saturday 5 January 2019

We bring you gifts!!

Folks - we decided to bring you one of most recent of our stories called #thecatwhoneverwas - it is special and even more so as it stars a kitwit close to our hearts - we do think our own little newbie(squeak) was out there waiting for me Rug and Owner to love OH alright and playfight with too.  Do enjoy this story won't you - our gift to you all for January. XX


Herewith our story, as written by Owner and will be told by me, Wonka XX

Forward:

New readers or old might like to know a little background to the making of this story; the idea came to me like always, from maybe a dream or a wisp of something and I immediately wrote it down.  And waited. You must let the story come to you! Anyhow, bit by bit it started to seep through and I did wonder as it was rather a different story from my usual ones, and the setting was very exact too; involving night time excursions around chimney tops and roofs and always with a good vista. A while later, I moved house which was a terrible upheaval for me and of course Wonka my cat and the others, but we made it.  The thing was, we made it to exactly the home I am talking about in this story.  When I look out, I see the very scenery my original idea brought with it.  So this is a special tale, brought from rather a special house I think – an old house, over one hundred and fifty years’ old it has its secrets no doubt and sometimes I glimpse them, but mostly just an odd feeling or two.    enjoy this short story, and remember to hold  fast to your ideas, they are as real as you and me.  As for Wonka, who is my beloved cat, as per, he tells the tale.






MM 1 May 2017

 

Chapter One

I had a roaring cold and Wonka told me off for sneezing so much as it made him jump.  The sneezing was loud and long and wearing me out rather. 

‘How about one of my stories?’ he offered.

I blew my nose and took a sip of hot orange.  The same drink had once really annoyed a colleague I was working alongside, to the point where she had to move away from me (blaming her pregnancy no less for the exit).  Luckily I was now alone, in my own dining room with just Wonka to say things.  Bertie was in the Narnia cupboard fast over and Ruggles had retired to the luxury shed.

‘Go on then,’ I replied at last to Wonka who was preening himself on the sideboard.

Easter was lurking round the corner bursting with renewal and eggs and cards; every school child would be busy at it, either concentrating on an event that easily put Game of Thrones in the shade, or wondering why it still echoed down the years. 

However you approached it, it was stuck there, on the calendar, the big four day break; Jesus would not be ignored, or, any of his followers.  I particularly liked Mary Magdalen who being a woman and practical with it, was the first on the scene after he had disappeared from the tomb; and, the first to see him back to life. Yes, it was one big story brought back to life over and over again.

‘Are you listening then?’ Wonka sounded a tad impatient and gruff.  I smiled over at him, my pride and joy not to mention chief adviser, and said I was.

 

 

‘This story,’ he announced,’ is called The Cat Who Never Was.’

I liked it already.

 

 

The cat in question lived upstairs and was a neat and tidy black and white cat.    She had a name she had a special bed, toys and an old blue feeding bowl which had two sections: one for maybe biscuits and the other for water – it allowed for choices. ‘The thing was,’ Wonka told me, ‘She wasn’t there.’

The cat who wasn’t there and never was, belonged to Anya who called the cat Oodles.  ‘How is Oodles?’ her mother used to ask after Anya had closed the door to the stairs.  ‘Has she eaten her breakfast I wonder and then jumped onto the windowsill to inspect her domain,’ Now Anya’s mother would have been startled to hear a reply because her daughter did not speak; no first words had ever been spoken and the delight of hearing those early efforts to communicate had been longed for and waited for, but nothing.  All the experts had been consulted and the answers given, quite simply no one really knew why Anya would not speak as her hearing was excellent and in all other respects, for a seven year old child, she was more than capable.

Meanwhile, and for a good few years, Oodles had been living upstairs and apart from not being there, was Anya’s best companion and friend.

 

 You will be saying to me, how can that be Wonka – an invisible cat and a child who cannot speak!’ Wonka waited for me to say just that.  Of course I was thinking that, but I knew better than to stop him in his story.  Lots of children have invisible friends who listen to them, find them funny and clever and make them feel safe.  I supposed for me, my stories were my friends doing the same job when needed.

‘What does Oodles look like?’ I asked Wonka, as the picture in my head might not be the same; but funnily enough when he described her, it was.

 

Oodles was a neat and tidy black and white cat, with fluttery whiskers and big green eyes.  Her white chest was so clean you could have eaten your breakfast off it, pronounced Wonka (who was pretty hygienic himself), and her fur was soft and gleaming.  All in all, a most beautiful and splendid creature – if only we could have seen her.  Now Anya was a lucky little girl in all other respects, and had the kind of bedroom most of us dream of.  Hidden at the top of the house, and guarded by a small wooden door with stairs leading upwards, the room itself was in the attic and had its very own skylight.  Fancy! A window that looked onto the roofs and chimneys, beyond that to the church spires and tall buildings and surrounded by sky. When Anya was not well, or even just in bed not asleep, she would lay there watching the clouds drift by, shaping themselves into fantastic creatures.  At night though, it was a different story.  This was when Oodles became even more magical than before.



Wonka paused for a moment, to check I was listening.  I was spellbound though, and back in the days of my own childhood reading my stories which were more alive to me than the world I lived in.

The strange world of children is such that the imaginary worlds and dreaming selves seem to merge into one providing a shield against the life we are a part of.  Perhaps, I thought, Anya can talk in her dreams and just hasn’t bothered to do it when awake.

Wonka continued the story and I fell deeper under the spell of Oodles and Anya and their strange friendship.

When dusk appeared at the little skylight window, which was built into the roof and had a proper windowsill and a latch to keep the small window open Oodles would slip out onto the roof and begin her night time adventures.  Skipping up to the roof top and then jumping onto the chimneys she would sit with the gulls for a while, even joining in with their mewling cries.  For so long, Anya could follow her adventures until Oodles sprang down and went on her longer journeys, travelling mostly as cats do, but occasionally, as cats don’t, flying from one roof top to another.
 

Ah, what a happy time was that in the life and times of Oodles, when she slipped into the cool clear night and circled the wispy clouds lit up by star light; on special nights, her journeys would be lit by the large serene globe that humans called the moon.  Oodles loved her, for it was a she shining down and sending her soft beams of light moving along the gardens and yards and spreading out over the countryside beyond.

 

 

On one such night it was, that Oodles flew to Whitby and found the church of St Hilda.  Now you may not know this, but St Hilda was pretty important to those Whitby people, founding the famous Abbey (to be later toppled by Henry VIIIth) and generally bringing comfort and grace to the poor.

 

 Oodles as I say, swooped down to the Church, dedicated to this wonderful woman, and landed with ease in the entrance.  There it was that she communed with the other felines of the night, and shared the wisdom.

‘Do the mean ‘The Wisdom’ Wonka?

He looked over at me, and confirmed that indeed it was, the old laws and secrets governing our world and carried forward by all creatures – thus Oodles was partial to it and was able to learn from it and pass this learning on.  It turned out, that St Hilda had done all this in her lifetime, as the legend goes, even driving out a load of snakes from Whitby, over a cliff and into the waiting sea!  On a more mundane level, she had visited the very town where Anya and her Mother now resided, bringing her healing powers with her.   This was of interest to Oodles, who being of a particularly compassionate nature, was ever on the lookout for Anya’s missing voice.  If she could find it, and bring it back one night, and slip it under Anya’s pillow for her to find in the morning – well, it would make her purr like a train and wash herself all over twice or three times for joy!!

 

So it was, Oodles exchanged purrs and soft crooning noises with the other felines gathering at the porch.  You could say (Wonka gave me one of his looks), that it was a sort of service for us cats!  Usually, at some time in the evening, the old lady they only knew as Mother, would calmly walk round the path at the side of the church, bringing with her their supper; this was a routine known to all felines in the area, and neither was it overused.  It was, declared Wonka, a feast for the needy! 

Ah, the tales that were exchanged here, and oh, the wisdom too.  Some of these tales found their way back to various homes and assorted owners. For Oodles, the joy of purring them to Anya, was a nightly treat and was rewarded by the listening child, who stroked her fur and smiled in her sleep.  Yes you see Anya did hear the stories and often drew them in pictures and coloured them in for her mother.  Her favourite story was the one about a little girl who did not speak, and spent her life listening to and helping others, from a very ancient priory it seemed too.  At least this is what she drew, and what her mother admired. 

 



 
 
This was in fact, how her mother knew of Oodles, as Anya drew her from the beginning of their friendship and she made an appearance in all the pictures she drew.  ‘Ooh!’ she said when she first saw the drawing.  And Anya, who of course knew the cat’s name already, having been informed of this, was delighted to see her mother knew it too – well half of it anyway.

 

The days and nights passed, and Oodles played amongst the chimney tops and skated down the frosty roofs as it drew closer to what we call the season of goodwill.

The School that Anya attended was also busy with said season, and this year, were putting on their version of the Christmas Story.  When Anya met her Mother at the entrance to her classroom, she had dancing eyes and a big smile; the letter she passed to her Mum confirmed why she was so happy.

 

Chapter Two

 

‘Year 3 is to put on the play ‘Our Christmas Story ‘, and Anya has been selected to play the part of the Angel.  Please let us know if you are able to help with costumes and props by contacting Miss Claire Form Teacher.’

Later, in her bedroom, Anya set a rather nice tea down for Oodles and sat on the bed to watch her eat.  Oodles was a very careful eater, with none of that slurping and grumbling noises, just a delicate picking out of a morsel and swallowing it neatly.  This was followed by a good grooming session and finally a visit to Anya to say thank you, and then off on her nightly rounds.  She knew of Anya’s happiness and did think that to play the part of an Angel, and not just any old angel but the Angel of the Lord, was a triumph for her little friend.

Now when Wonka mentioned this part of the Christmas Story, I did wonder how Anya would portray this powerful and frankly amazing creature.  I mean Angels are guiding spirits for us humans at the best of times, but this Angel was proclaiming future events and guiding Mary and Joseph as well as Shepherds and Wise men too.  In dreams and out of them, this Angel was at the beginning and end of the story.


‘Hallo?’ went Wonka breaking into my chain of thought and bringing me back to Oodles and his night time ritual through the skies.

‘Yes I’m listening!’

And he continued with the story.

One of Anya’s favourite bed time stories was not surprisingly, about a cat.  Like all favourite stories it had been read and re read, losing none of its magic on the way. 

As she listened to her Mum telling the story, and coming up to the bit where the cat, Ginger Tom was busy criss crossing the night time streets on a mission, she wondered if Oodles was also engaged in some secret work; as her Mum closed the story, marking the place with one of Anya’s drawings, she reminded her of the trip to the Christmas Fayre the following morning, and didn’t seem to notice Oodles scratching at the window to come back in.  She did follow Anya’s pointing hand though, and with a smile went to let the invisible cat back into the room.

‘Night Anya! And you too Oodles,’ she called as she left the bedroom.

Oodles had been out in the rain and had a thorough grooming session on Anya’s bed and so she was nearly asleep when her little friend began to tell of the latest adventure.   There was mention of Mother, the kind lady who looked after all the strays of the parish of St Hilda’s, and also an update on Oodles’ search for Anya’s voice.   Anya was asleep by this time, but who knows what we hear when we are asleep and dreaming?  The thing was, Oodles had still not found it, the missing voice but had spread the news as far and as wide as she could.  Purring away with the intense concentration on washing her fur down, Oodles too fell to sleep and dreaming.


 

Anya found herself outside the very church that Oodles had been talking about, so didn’t feel out of place or confused at all; even better when she had a proper look, there was Oodles just in front of her and leading the way   It was such a happy place to be, even inside the church too, cats sitting in the pews using the cassocks like special cushions, and all talking away to each other exchanging news and such.

The time seemed to pass and Anya did not feel in a hurry or for a minute that she should be somewhere else; when she met the lady they all called Mother, it seemed in keeping with all the rest of it.  To her surprise, she thought she saw her Dad over the far side of the Church polishing one of the big Crosses on the Altar.  He smiled over at Anya and carried on with his work, and as he moved slowly round the table she saw he had a cat lying across his shoulders, like a small fur stole! Even from a distance she could see it was Oodles, and smiling with delight she walked quickly up the way between all the pews towards them.  The next thing she knew was waking up to hear her Mum calling her name, and telling her to get dressed and come down for breakfast; Anya knew she had been on a special dream journey though, and as soon as she could, drew it in her diary.  Returning to her bedroom, she felt full of joy what with the day out to the Christmas Fayre and the Christmas play ahead; oh and the feeling of happiness her dream had left her with.

‘And Oodles?’ I enquired, thinking she had stayed behind at St Hilda’s Church, perhaps to keep Anya’s Dad company. 

‘She came home that time,’ continued Wonka, indicating that perhaps she would stay behind in the end.

 

 


With the Angel of the Lord nicely out of the way, and all the glow and glitter of December melting away, January arrived and so did the real winter time.  Anya and Oodles watched at the skylight window as the first flakes fell and then settled.  Soon it was a white world outside dented here and there with the footprints of the pigeons and gulls on the roofs.   Still Oodles went out on her night time excursions and still came home – sometimes late into the night squeezing through the tiny gap between the latched skylight window and the sill. Until one night, in February, she didn’t return.

 

Chapter Three

Now Wonka had to leave the story for a bit to have a well-earned treat; this was a bowl of fish to which he was partial these days, and had me dashing round the maze like supermarket to hunt it down. Wonka said I couldn’t ‘hunt’ fish down you had to catch it or fish for it! I suspected that all the other shopping couldn’t be hunted down either but it all felt like an expedition to me, tracking it down to this shelf or that icy compartment. ‘Finished?’ I enquired.

Wonka had finished, and even washed himself round.  The story began again.

 

Time passed and Easter came nearer.  Instead of the angel of the Lord, Anya’s class were told a different story.  This story, like the disappearance of the cat who wasn’t there, was at first a bleak reminder of high hopes gone to nothing. Oodles, who always came back to Anya’s bedroom had not come back, and Good Friday was nothing of the sort.

Talk of renewal and rebirth did little to lighten Anya’s mood who drew a cat appearing by the tomb instead of Jesus.   The rest of the Class were all dutifully drawing Easter eggs on pieces of paper, or crosses with daffodils sprouting up and so Anya’s drawing was awarded a special star for bringing a different message; the miracle of life had even reached down and made Oodles a real cat!



 
The picture was there now, pinned on Anya’s noticeboard and the last thing she looked at before she went to sleep. Perhaps she would dream of her like the other time and perhaps this time, she would come home.   When you lose something precious it just takes over everything, and in the case of this cat, who you will recall wasn’t there to begin with, well she popped up all over the place.  Anya saw her on cars, in windows, in the street and finally in her dreams.

In the dream, it was that lady again, Mother, and she had a basket with her full of-

‘Full of what Wonka?’ I had to prompt him but he would not be rushed.

‘It was full of strange things.’ He said finally, and carried on.

And Wonka carried on the story by returning to Oodles, the not there cat.  Everyone knew Anya did not have a real cat and mostly did not take much notice when the not there cat went missing.  Her Mum did take notice and without Dad there to share it with (her worries) took to talking to his photo instead.  These conversations with her dead husband, Anya’s Dad, would centre on a problem or worry and tonight were all about Oodles.  The outcome was simple really.  If Oodles did not return, then a real cat must be found to be the same loving companion that she had been.

 

Oodles had started to fade in February but it was so slight at first that Anya could still see her and that was alright.  So she still hopped onto the windowsill and went skipping out onto the rooftops and flying through the evening in her quest for Anya’s voice; she swooped on the hidden treasures of the night, the puff of evening air so clean and sharp or the last cries of the blackbirds as they bid farewell to the day, all these sights and wonders below as she turned towards her home.

She even thought she had found the Voice, such a pretty thing shimmering like a rainbow, until that started to fade just like her; and in keeping with the ethereal beauty of the rainbow, vanished back into the early evening sky. 

One night though, she could not get back in and realised that her little companion could not see her either and her not thereness was complete.  In a hurry now, Oodles shot through the night sky, forgetting all her usual games and tarries to arrive suddenly at the Church of St Hilda.  It was late and the gathering of all the cats of the parish had been and gone but luckily for Oodles, Mother was still there and seemed to be expecting her too.

‘Oodles!’ She gave her a special look, and at the same time nodded over at Anya’s Dad who smiled back.  He was busy at work although Oodles couldn’t see what it was. It was the same work though that he had done when ‘he was there.’

‘Now, he’s not there, just like you Oodles!’ observed Mother.

‘You are just a little shimmer in the moonlight, my dear friend!’ and she reached down to where Oodles was and gave her a whisper of a stroke.  ‘I know you are still searching for that voice, and if you will look in my basket, tell me what you see.’


 




Oodles did look, and it was same basket that Anya would later dream of and also think full of very strange things.

There was some confidence, pretty hair, rosebud lips and a fair complexion; there was height, there was gumption and a healthy appetite.  But no voice.  The old lady who they all called Mother smiled at Oodles and said this: ‘You must bring her to me and then you’ll find what you are looking for.’

The matter of Oodles’ not thereness was the more important problem and Mother had another answer.  It meant a sacrifice though, a giving up of all the night games, no more flying with the gulls and skipping the rainbows, no more sitting on the chimneys and thus an end to this way of being.

‘Did she mean not being there Wonka?’ I had to ask him.

‘Yes, and this meant a new beginning as a cat who was there.’ He replied, mentioning that in the run up to Easter this was the way of it.  It is always Easter somewhere he said, things coming back to life or getting one.

‘Ah,’ I thought, this is Wonka being all sage in his middle years. I rather liked it.

Now Oodles wasn’t as reassured by what Mother was saying.  Talk of sacrifice and the hidden treasures of doing so, well what of it!  She missed Anya and knew her little friend felt the same. ‘Will it mean we are back together again?’

Mother said it did mean that, and Oodles found she was agreeing to something that made her very nervous indeed; only the thought of jumping onto the bed and rubbing her face up to Anya’s reassured her.  ‘I’ll do it!’ she decided and put her trust in Mother.

Anya found, that in the dream she was able to be wherever she wanted and used this freedom to look inside Mother’s basket.  She listened too, as Mother was talking to Oodles nearby.  They were outside the church this time, and it was in the afternoon, according to the sun dial in a small grassy area behind the building.

As she listened in and watched, it seemed that her little companion was searching for something.  Surely not from the basket which even in the dream had odd things inside.  Who, thought Anya, wanted a piece of gumption! Wandering round the side of the church towards the back, she noticed a gardener tending to some of the old stones and further down the pathway, an outhouse.  She liked the look of the outhouse as it had a cat flap in the wooden door and behind her the gardener was telling her something.

His name was Jacob, and in the tradition of dreams, she knew this without asking even thinking to herself that he sounded like his name; but the call of her name was louder and more persistent, drowning out whatever Jacob had been saying and it was this that woke Anya from her dream.  Her Mum was waking her up!

The only thing Anya could remember was to do with a new kit.  Did he mean a gardening kit? A sports kit?  Whatever it was she felt slightly better having seen Oodles, and the lady they all called Mother again.

What do you think Anya, about us having a cat? I know there is Oodles, but she seems to have disappeared – ‘ her Mum inspected the windowsill and even put the window on the latch.  Then she looked down at the bowls and the bedding.  She looked back at Anya for confirmation that the Oodles Cat, who never was, was also not there anymore.  Anya stared back, with a new and stubborn expression.

‘Well I know how much you loved her and everything, which is why it might be time to take in a cat needing a home.  You know, a rescue cat.’

Anya was not ready to give up on Oodles.  Not that quickly, and especially not after her dream.  She was out there somewhere, and must be found!   At least her Mum was thinking about cats, and Anya knew where they all met up too.  So many times had Oodles whispered all the gossip to her, about this cat and the other one who had been taken in and now had their very own companions to keep them safe.  She showed her Mum the drawing of the Church and the cats, and the old lady too.

She had made sure Oodles was the biggest cat in the picture so her Mum could not fail to notice her.

 

 

 

‘That looks like the church where we went for the Christmas Fayre,’ said her Mum, but Anya shook her head. ‘No?’ She studied the picture some more and told Anya to get dressed; as much as she didn’t want to go anywhere, Anya slowly picked out a tunic top and some leggings.  Holding onto her dream, she went downstairs resigned to going somewhere she didn’t want to go.

It has many names, the kind of happening where the impossible comes true, or what you dreamt becomes real, and more than one professor has given it a clever meaning but for Anya, finding Oodles was just a matter of when.  Not if, or maybe but when.  For she believed she would find her cat as much as Oodles believed she would be with her little companion again.

And with this happy thought, Wonka paused the story, only for a short while as it was time for his tea.   You remember how partial he is to some fish, and as this makes for a fulsome diet I popped a little on a small saucer.  This vanished rather quickly.

‘I’m ready,’ said he ‘to tell the story to the end.’
 
 
 


Chapter Four

 

Oodles was a small sparkling dot to begin with, growing bigger and then bursting like a pea from a pod into a furry purry world.   To her delight, from the very first wash round from the large warm creature that filled the box they were all in, Oodles knew she was there.  No longer a not there cat, no more of that thank you!  She had arrived into the world of being and seeing and feeling; and she had brothers and sisters.   Home appeared to be a small wooden room, which smelt earthy and fresh, and their bed was a good sized cardboard box well-padded out with newspaper and soft blankets.    Someone is looking after us, thought Oodles, in the short periods between snoozing and feeding.   

Eventually the small bunch of fur that was Oodles grew into a decent size kitten, able to tackle a saucer of milk for itself.  Where did the food come from? Alongside her siblings, Oodles had watched the hands reach down and gently guide them towards the food; this had been funny to begin with, bobbing around the saucer and not really knowing what to do.  Like humans though, instinct took over, and before they all knew it, they were busy lapping and licking.  Then purring and sleeping. 

‘Ah.’ I said, recalling my own excursion into the world of kittens. 

‘Yes,’ observed Wonka, ‘That was when I lived on a shelf in the Narnia cupboard,’

 

He had as well.  Fostering a stray cat and her kittens had upset the whole feline dynamic and Wonka had taken it badly.  In human terms, he was put out, and jealous.   These days, and restored to his rightful place as chief adviser and teller of tales, the household was fairly calm.  And, you will want to know that said cat and kittens, all found happy homes too.

‘Are you ready for the end of this story?’ asked Wonka.   Yes I was, but more than that, I wanted a happy ending, like all the best fairy tales.  Life doesn’t always follow through on this, so I supposed that stories must pick up the slack.

‘Does Anya find Oodles?’ I quizzed; but Wonka went all enigmatic and said she does and she doesn’t.  With that, I had to be content and hear him out.

 

 

Returning home from an expedition round town and a failed rescue cat mission, Anya and her mum felt deflated.   ‘Surely there’s some kittens or cats in need of a home?’ her Mum was busy dialling the local Vets now, in search of the elusive needy  creatures.   After a long conversation with a very friendly receptionist, she put the phone down, and turned to Anya with the news. ‘ – and he knows the receptionist at the other Vets and they have one cat and kitten left!’ Excited no end by this, Anya’s mum was already planning their trip to see them. ‘They will wait until we get there!’

The journey there seemed to takes ages, like all journeys do when you are anxious about where you are going to.  Anya could not see a happy ending, and had not bothered to clean the bowl in her bedroom (which was Oodles’ bowl) or give the blanket a shake out (Oodles’ blanket).

The dream had been about the church, and the old lady called Mother and even a man called Jacob.  There had been no dream about a Vets which was where they were headed.  The only hope to cling to was the fact that this Practice was in Whitby, which was where the St Hilda’s church was.

‘We are here!’ exclaimed her Mum, congratulating herself on good driving and only spoiling that with a shaky left turn into the car park. ‘No patience!’ she shouted at the driver behind.   Together they entered the reception and up to the wooden hatch.

 

All Vets have that distinctive smell, and the young man leading the way to the mysterious back room with PRIVATE, and STAFF ONLY, on the door, said as much.

‘Just in here,’ he said showing them through the door, and over to a small pen with a rather pretty cat and her one remaining kitten. ‘We’ve named them, Jemima and Mouse – this was the smallest kit and for a while we wondered if he’d make it.’

Mouse looked quite chunky, and sported a pale marmalade coat with touches of white here and there.  Jemima had a more chocolate and orange colouring also spattered with white.  They both had white bibs and socks, and Anya’s Mum was already keen.  Anya, had only this to say to the small tubby kit nibbling at his mother’s tail. ‘That’s not Oodles!’  to the kitten and ‘Neither are you!’ to the mother cat.   Not out loud, as we know that Anya does not speak, but her unspoken words were heartfelt just the same. 

 

‘This old lady brought them all in,’ the young Vet was saying,’ and said they were all born at the back of the Church where luckily the gardener found them and kept them safe in the shed.  She wanted to come in and meet you, as she has been fostering them; the others all found homes quickly but Jemima and Mouse are still waiting.’

With that, the old lady in question arrived into the very same room and was introduced to Anya and her mum.   She picked Mouse up, in a wink of an eye, and placed him on her shoulder. ‘This one is my favourite, the weakest of the litter, and for a moment not breathing; but I rubbed him all round and he lived!’ Anya was listening hard now as now she recognised this old lady as the one they all called Mother.  She wondered if the lady knew it was her.

 

 
‘I’m so pleased to meet you Anya, and it’s little Mouse that’s brought you here.’

With that a strange thing happened.  Now we all know that cats don’t fly and if they do, they must be like Oodles and not really there, but suddenly as the old lady leaned down towards Anya, the little kitten known as Mouse, seemed to fly through the space between and land on the girl’s shoulder.  He clung there for a bit and then nestled right up to Anya’s ear. ‘It is me,’ he said, ‘and I might look different on the outside, but I’m Oodles on the inside.’

 

And then Anya knew.  She would have known her Oodles’ voice anywhere and this was she.  Now a he, and a marmalade kitten.  Which just goes to show that life returning can take on unexpected shapes and guises.   This wasn’t at all what Anya had set her hopes on, and even her mum wondered if they had done the right thing.

‘I wish I had found your voice,’ said Mouse who was really Oodles.

‘You are my voice.’ Anya told him, in Cat, which she spoke better than any language. 

‘Oh!’ I exclaimed to Wonka.’ but that’s just like you and me!’

‘Precisely.’ He said and asked nicely for some more tea.

 

 

The End


 

The Epilogue

 

You will all want to know that Jemima found her home too, and she did! Mother took her home and still found time to care for all the other wanderers gathering at the side of the church. Jacob, who was the real gardener, kept an eye out for those who had no shelter and made sure they knew about the cat flap to his shed.  Inside, he made a special shelf with warm boxes and always left water and food.

As for Anya, well she always listened and took account of her dreams and continued to draw them – her Mum took comfort from seeing her daughter so happy, and whenever loneliness settled on her, had another conversation with Anya’s Dad, looking out of the photo frame where he was busy at work and smiling at her.
 
 



The End
Folks, I do hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did telling you it and the more I think about it, the more I reckon little Squeak is our oodles!  Thought about long before she arrived and, what is the saving grace folks is she puts right all those kitwits that Owner let go - the missing piece you might say - and to find out more, you will have to read another of out stories!!  See you again soon, Big Love Wonka XXX  PS this story is just one of the Wonka Stories all on smashwords.com and two of them are in print!!  That is Wonka's Christmas Story and also The Egyptian Tale - the print version of the Christmas Story is illustrated too!! XX