Last Post 2014 Wednesdee!!

Wonka here.   Here we go folks.. sailing into a New Year with high hopes and dreams ahoy!!  yes we lots to tell you and a review of 2014.................

There it is!!  Owner's round up for the year 2014 which started off with the Fab Four in Paris for Jan, rain and cold in Feb, Bertie by the gate in March and a trip to cornwall and beloved Percy donkey at the Tamar Sanctuary for Easter!  in May we had the other dream ticket to the Crucible in Sheffield (Owner is mad about the snooker!) and in June June JUUUUUNE!!  it is me of course. x July sees Schools out for Summer and then another trip Cornwall bound for another Fab Four reunion.  September is all about the birthdays (Owner, daughter, aged sibling, niece,best friend...) and then October for Halloween, Nov for more of the same and fireworks and then it is December time!  What a grand finale to our year............ more Wonka stories, Joe's Christmas and our final parting gift of a New Year's Eve story.   it can only get better folks.........  more holidays YES, more stories YES and all washed down with lots more fun. We love it x

Final para of the year para!!!  today has passed by with a round of visits and according to Owner, all is well out there.  The shops have had a visit and I have given the two soft bargain pillows a TICK followed by another TICK for a bargain DVD.  WHAT IS IT you all gasp up??  It is one of those survival films that says quote 'gripping from start to finish' and 'tense and brilliant' which to be fair are both ways to describe Owner wouldn't you know!!!!  anyhow the film is called.....LONE SURVIVOR and she says it will be perfect for when daughter stops by. They love these films, where you are on an endless chase or on the run and it is freezing and you are surrounded by wolves and then hunters with guns.  Actually I might watch it too.  Now tonight as we drift towards the midnight hour and 2014 will be gone and 2015 IS HERE,  we may see it in with good #tonyblackburn on beloved Radio 2, as we love him.  Owner has saved a morsel of sherry to toast us on our way and it simply remains for ME, Owner, Bertie Bubb and Ruggles (the recipient of one of the super soft new pillows.  The other one was old and worn goes Owner.  I know) to wish our faithful readers stroke reader A WONDERFUL AND SPECTACULAR New Year.  Big Love Wonka x

Extra Extra !!!

Wonka here to invite you all to read a special story for this day...

ONE NIGHT ONLY!!!  Wonka Presents!! 
A story for New Year's Eve.....

 

 

Treat yourself to a haunting tale and meet some new characters in our last story of the year......

 

See you later for our last post of the year!  Big Love Wonka x

 

Eve of Eve Surprise Tuesdee!!

Wonka here.  I am bursting with pride folks!!! WHYFOR you all shriek up!!  This is why.............

 

 

HERE IT IS!!!!  Our last surprise tale of the year................................... Owner gets up this morning full of woe on about toothache (I says it is sinus Owner but does she listen up? eventually.....) and the heating which did not start up on its own but needed all her engineering and plumbing ability.  Yes I know.  And then it happened.  IT IS NEARLY NEW YEAR'S EVE she says to me.. I rested my paws and everything folks but I did hear her out.  I HAVE A STORY she chirps up, for that very day and that day only.  WHERE is it Owner? I says, hoping for some extra portions or more dreamy biscuits.

IN THE DRAWER she says back and before we can say Jack Robinson (sorry Jack Robinson but it is just a saying we have in our little old backwater) she has found it and is busy sorting it out.  I AM DETERMINED she droned to publish it today for all the folks stroke folk who love our stories.  RIGHTO I goes back because I really do admire this stubborn streak and in any case I like telling the stories.  OR as our mate Simon Ghoul says, I don't like it  I LOVE IT.

Final happy go lucky surprise of the eve of the eve para.  SO SHE HAS DONE IT.  it is uploaded to www.smashwords.com and we love it loads.  it is a ghostly story and Owner says she was prompted to write it all due to our hero Mr Charles Dickens.  It is a haunting tale set on New Year's Eve and has a cold hearted spinster at the helm!  she did remind me good folks, of bad owner from last year's Christmas Story.  YES, goes Owner, they have a lot in common.  OOOHHHH.   so that is our final gift to our faithful readers stroke reader out there in the Wold.  It is strange though, for Owner to remember this story at the last minute....................now tomorrow which really is New Year's Eve, we will have more to tell.  til then, go steady out there in the Wold good folks, wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Resolution Mundee

Wonka here.  Yes folks it is time.  I've started mine and mostly it is around (list) 1.  more food 2.  more nicer food. 3.  no more waifs and strays no not even if they are having a bunch of kitwits or anything.  NO 4.  Rug and Bertie to be more friendly towards me and 5.  for Owner to find fame and fortune.  Here follows a little cartoon to start you all off on yours...........

 

There we are!!  There is Owner with her list of resolutions.  I hope, I goes up to her, you have put FIND FORTUNE and FAME and earn more £s or $s.  All I want, she whispers back to me, is to earn a few bob doing what I love.  WHY, I goes back are you whispering.....  BECAUSE she says back in a normal voice, my resolutions are a secret until Wednesdee when it is new Year's Eve.  Righto I says, I won't tell.  Ruggles just wants to keep eating the sensitive biscuits as that's his fave, and Owner noticed on the side of the next expensive packet that it says:  notice an improved condition of health in your cat OR your money back.  HOW she says, can we prove it??  Now Bertie as you know is busy living in the Land of Wardrobe upstairs and I'm not sure of his resolution as yet.  I'll keep you posted though because I will love it!!

 

Final resolution para.  Owner has already started if you ask me and I know you haven't but get this.  Only yesterdee she was planning her next sojourn (Owner says is a word and I believe her) to Rome via a million places in Europe.  Understandably (to me) none of her friends (the Fab four) want to do this excruciating (Whoa!) journey too.  I WILL GO IT ALONE she announces to no one there.  I think you will have to Owner I says up but luckily the sound was muffled from inside my amazon box.  BLOW THEM ALL she continues on.  time for a sherry if you ask me and once more you haven't.  Now other news is this, she has been into town and come back with two gifts.  one for her and one for daughter.  I am giving both a TICK because Owner looks lovely in hers and daughter will do in her one.  right now we are having to watch Indy in the second adventure.  I don't mind because I love him.  Yes it was a mistake to make the 4th one but I still love Indiana Jones.  We watched Last Tango and there is a new twist and a wedding.  Tonight we are on with Corrie X 2 and Roy has gone mad and is arrested, and surely in Enders, everyone will wake up and find they are related to everyone?  it is all to play for folks.  Now enough from me I must do the rounds instead of telling you all the news so far....there will be more to tell tmro.  until then, do go steady folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka xx

 



Holidays ahoy Sundee

Wonka here.   Howdy folks and if Owner says one more time what day is it............  before I forget here follows a photoshoot all about Christmas pressies.  Me?  in the post she says.  OR til I see the right thing.  I mean I would be happy with another catnip mousey or fish or monkey.  OH NO I said Monkey and that will start Owner off about the kitwits.  Oh it is alright she is busy with the tea in the kitchen so she didn't hear me.

 

At last! you all (our beloved reader) shout up! a photoshoot with you in it!!  yes indeed that is me with my bestest mousey in the entire known universe plus an old toy stocking that used to be Golly's.  Some of you new readers to this best blog in the entire known universe will not know who Golly is.  it is was.  Golly was the feline who let me in  before popping off to the sanctuary in the sky headed up by St Francis.  Well as Owner likes to remind me, Golly did not ever look at the stocking or play with it.  YES I have played with it, bitten it, thrown it up in the air and I LOVE IT.  Miss you Golly!  hankies away now folks! x

 

Final holidays are on the cards para:  I am not bearing a grudge about the Christmas present future.  no.  Owner says I should put future gift or our reader will be confused.  UNLIKELY I says back but she was too busy looking for something decent on the tv to hear me.  We have gone from Out of Africa (She goes to me, 'that Meryl is getting on my nerves and so is Robert Redford'.  I thought she loved him.) to Heroes of Telemark oh no that was earlier on, sorry Kirk Douglas, and then onto the ever brilliant ever watchable Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Why, I droned up, could we not have watchd this from the start?  Anyhow, she has been looking at Rome.  At Turin, and the Eurostar folks,  She has found out, that she can set off from here, get to London, leave there for Paris, have a light lunch and then onto Turin for supper.  IF, she felt like it, she could get to Rome. by train all in one day.  Who I wondered up, wants to get to Rome in dribs and drabs?  ME for one she shouts up all excited by the thought of swishing past the Alps and turning up in Turin which all the guides say is UNDERESTIMATED.  well that would depend what you are estimating I says up, but she didn't hear me above shouting for Ruggles 5 minutes after he had decided to pop out.  I will keep you posted about Rome, it may come off yet, but hang on there is New Year's Eve to navigate first!  All those memories!  all that useless tv!   Go steady out there folks in the Wold wherever you are in it, and careful at the back end of the year.  Big Love Wonka x

 



Apres Christmas!

Wonka here!  And how are you good folks!!  did you have a good holiday and did you celebrate like we did.  if you did or did not, we still hope all was merry and bright...........  this was Christmas Day folks...........

 

What is that!  have you been at the sherry again! you all gasp up in wonderment!!  it is alright I have been keeping a check on the sherry levels and it is going down at a civilised rate..... if you look closely you will see I am in the corner watching Owner drive off in the car with no name.  OH YES you all shout up WE SEE THAT!! then you will notice that the boot is crammed full of Christmas carriers and gifts and food OH YES WE SPOTTED THAT!! and best of all the sun was shining down and the roads were empty.  the birds were all hopping around and swooping across and Owner got to daughters in record time.  Once there she had a truly scrumptious Christmas.  I love it xx PS. that is the cuddly toy dog on the back shelf with Christmas earrings on!!

 

Final après the celebrations para.  Me?  thanks for asking, had a smashing time of it, eating, zzzzzzzzz, more eating (real chick.  sorry chick!) more of the zzzzzzzz, bit of chasing Bertie Bubb (not sorry.  sorry) and eyeing up Ruggles in the kitchen when I do get the chance. Owner thinks we are all related.  AND?  I says in that new and annoying way.  JUST SAYING she goes back in the equally annoying way.   We watched pass the midwife and Down here abbey plus every soap there is going.  YES we did watch Enders and YES Shirlee has revealed herself as Queen Mick's mum.  OH NO you all shriek up NOW WHAT.  all we need now is for Fil to sort it!!  We have Sung in the Rain and gotta Dance and Make em Laugh with Donald O' Connor and wait for it, we are just revving up for ZULU.....DO D DOOO D....imagine a lot of spears drumming on that dried up scorched up earth and millions of proud Zulu warriers chanting!!!  Bring it on shouts Owner in delight.  She loves this story because it is true.  a tiny little medical supply army team holding out at Rourkes Drift against countless warriers!  Victoria Crosses galore chaps!  We love a story if it is (list) 1.  True 2.  got Stanley Baker in it 3. Got Michael Caine in it 4.  got bravery in it and heroes 5.  A rousing music score by JOhn Barry and directed by Cy Endfield.  January 23 1879.  That is when it all happened good folks out there.  So if you want to see a real battle, with real bravery. watch this.  Is it better I ventured up, than ZULU DAWN.BY A MILE she shouts up.....Yes I am just going to check the sherry levels now.  so do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it for the new year is nearly upon us all.  Big Love Wonka x

 



Merry Christmas

Back Satdee Folks!!

Big Love Wonka!

Eve of Christmas Wednesdee

Wonka here.  At last some of you good folk are saying it is Day 24 of the month of December... so for our last advent in the series..........

There we are!!  this is an old but special photo as it is of the evening and the little pink stars that light up our kitchen window shine out there.  I think Ruggles sees the lights on and knows we are in.  Just saying.  the other good news for this evening is that there is a new moon for us!  Has Owner made a wish you all chirp up and say!  YES and she will not say what it is.  But it made her smile anyway like all good wishes do.  MAKE your wishes tonight like Owner has and watch for them to come true!  xx

Short and sweet eve of the day para:   Owner is now to make the mince pies and must wash this down with a sherry.  yes there is more sherry because I reclassified it as an essential buy.  Thank you Wonka! she says to me when she heard the news.   She has had a nice lunch with aged sibling and parent all civilised and went to plan nicely she reported up when she fell back in with last minute things (biscuits, sweets,more sweets, popcorn and more sweets.)  Do please enjoy your little selves out there this season of joy and hope and we wish you nothing but the best time of it.  Me?  snugging down in my box and dreaming of a white chicken, (sorry chickens!) Bertie is upstairs in wardrobe land dreaming of more food and it doesn't matter what, and Rug is settled up on the linen box washing.  Yes I approve of that.  Now there will be a little holiday for me over the next couple of days and then we return Satdee!!  So in between times, do read The Story of Joe's Christmas (www.smashwords.com) as all three parts are published now.  Thank you uploading god!  AND, take it steady wherever you are in the Wold!  Big Love and Big peace Wonka x

Starry Starry Tuesdee

Wonka here.  it is now Day 23 of the good month of December and we continue our little countdown with this advent..........

 

Here we are!!! Yes siree it is an illustration from Part Three of  the Story of Joe's Christmas!!! just published today on www.smashwords.com !! (use the tag #wonka or the title of our story)

There is the removal van and a new arrival moving into Flat 1 Horace Eaves Close....how exciting, especially as it is right on Christmas.  It is a new character in the story and not without a touch of magic about him and his friend.  Neddy watches from his bedroom window as Edward Starz joins their neighbourhood......and how lucky to have a friend like Emily.  We hope you love the magical tale and let all the sparkle and fun be with you through this season. x

 

Final starry para.  just as Owner was dropping off last night she heard the distinct sound of someone being pat and mick.  At the bottom of the stairs.  rather than slumber on like most good folk would NO!  up she gets and trundles down below.  OH WONKA she says accusing me straight off.  Now just because I was near the scene, that doesn't mean it was me. I says all this to Owner going on about my MO (that's modus operandi to you good folks out there all scratching your head/s saying what is MO.  The police say it all the time.  but I know what it means.  yes)  I KNOW IT WAS YOU she goes back.  I mean all those poor folks who go to the scene of the crime and hover round it, and pick up murder weapons and such and then get accused!  my heart goes out to them.  anyhow, hours later when she had cleaned up, shampooed the carpet, spread things on it, made tea and read for a bit I did say I was sorry.   She may not have heard me though as she was dropping off again.

 

Last real starry starry para.  last night we managed to stay up late and tonight we may well do it again.  There is Masterchef professional finale on for a start off and we are not fed up with finales yet.  NO.  At the minute I am forced to watch Call me Clause.  Why Owner has this on I cannot say except that as we have already pointed out, once there is a week with Christmas in it, all normal and previously decent entertainment goes out the window.  Instead there are repeats, endless tales of elves and imps and Santa.  Pretend Santa, fake Santa, and real Santa.  Now it is time for my tea and the usual check ups.  Bertie bubb is still in his new residence the land of upstairs wardrobe, and Rug is nicely in the land of kitchen.  Me?  got the run of everywhere really and so I ought!  Owner has not mentioned Monkey Boolley again today and neither have I!  Now it is the eve of Christmas Day tmro good folks so do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Extra Extra!

Wonka here!  and so is Part Three of our story!!

Do enjoy the final instalment of:
Wonka Presents!  The Story of Joe's Christmas - Part Three
and it is free to read at www.smashwords.com

See you all later! big Love Wonka x

Tis the season Mundee

Wonka here.   Tis now Day 22 of the good month of December folks and here is our special advent for you..............

 

Here he is!  our hero Mr Charles Dickens!!  he ended up living in a house called Gads Hill Place in Rochester, Kent; he used to do all his writing in a chalet in the garden - and to get to the chalet he had to walk through a stone brick tunnel.  At either side of the Tunnel, at the top, are two stone masks carved into the stone, one is the mask of comedy and the other the mask of tragedy.  He wrote many of his famous works here and dear folks he continues to entertain and inspire - he inspires me and Owner and many a nod is made to our hero in the Wonka Stories.  He died aged 58, which is far too early to disappear off into the next room.  We like to think he continues to inspire, perhaps through our dreams and perhaps through our own rich imaginations.....who knows!  We do know that we love him!  And I specially love him because Mr Dickens loved cats. x

 

 

Final tis the season para:  today Owner fielded phone calls in a jolly fashion wishing everyone a pleasant time of it.  YES we all slept like tops, and no mention has been made so far today of any other felines joining the household.  IT IS TOO SMALL I keep saying to Owner, for any additions.  She may not have heard me though as she began a final Christmas List.  OH NO I hear you all or at least one of you gasp up!  yes it does mean the beloved Credit card must take a little more bashing as Owner suddenly realised she needed to purchase ONE MORE GIFT. that was for daughter TICK.  It is a good gift, practical and chic.  Not often these two things come together in one item, and blow me down and shake my whiskas if it wasn't repeated in a super chic gift for aged parent.  SURELY, droned Owner, she will like it.  Well if I know Surely, and I don't, it is all bets off on whether this bonny sparkly Christmassy top will receive the OK from aged parent but it gets a big TICK from me.  It more or less stopped there with the exception of socks small tick, and gloves.  Miniscule tick.

 

Real final seasonal para.  last night there was nothing on as per once you get within breathing distance of a week with Christmas in it.  Tonight, thankfully we have normal Corrie X 2 and never mind Enders which is now a melodrama reserved for desperation.  I AM NOT THERE Yet she goes.  In any case we have a good selection of films and did I tell you we have NOAH?  It has received terrible reviews according to Owner so we reckon we'll love it.  Now if you must go out it is fairly frenzied out there and Owner reports having to toot the horn.  I can only hope they don't know where we live.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x



Sleepless in Sundee

Wonka here.  This folks is Day 21 of the good month of December!  AND it is the shortest day. To brighten it up a tad here is our cartoon advent............

 

Here it is again!  just look a that beauty cover...there is me naturellement and there is the glass snowstorm with the tree and the falling star and look, there is the Christmas Wish List too.  I do hope you make time to have a little read of this story to put you in the spirit of Christmas folks!  Did I mention to make a wish yourself?  Go on then!  we love it. x

 

 

Sleepless in Sundee para.  I CANNOT GET BACK TO SLEEP muttered Owner going toss turn turn toss til I thought I would never get some zzzzzzzzzzz myself.  Bertie Bubb he just snored away,and when he isn't snuffling and snorting he is growling.  I've got a parcel of dysfunctional cats moans up Owner when she thought I wasn't listening.  personally I like it how it is, and if I hear one more time about the introduction of a small Boolley aka Monkey into our tribe (parcel??) I might have to speak out.  Even daughter has told Owner to (quote) THINK HARD.  Well perhaps not today when in the end Owner took her own sage advice and got up to make a cup of tea.  Not sure about the ginger biscuits but you know we have had a ginger day recently.  So then she has to have a snoozle on my giant luxury nest aka the settee.  WAKE UP Owner!  I kept shouting at her.  There was essential shopping to do for one thing, and of course my snacks need topping up.  Now last night we got through a grand finale with different winners to who we wanted. BOO goes Owner to no one there.  We love Simon and Kristina and hope they are over losing out.  people do say put it down to experience and my bet is that these same people have never lost out at what they really really wanted. x

 

Final sleepless para.  tonight we are clinging to whatever looks Christmassy and that is The Family Man. with Nicholas Cage in one of his better film roles there I have said it..  I like it so far in and am not putting up a fight to turn it over or off.  Then all it is, is the apprentice finale.  it is all finales folks.    There is a good film on at 10 30 pm if Owner can stay awake that long.  I LOVE RAY CHARLES she goes to me all interested.  but will you love him at half ten I says back?  She didn't hear me above slipping into a pre Christmas worrywart.  it happens every year folks and means making lists and checking.  Now the good week is upon us and for some means a lot of jollyment and such.  Also for some it means a time to remember who is here and who is not.  Do I have to say a prayer for Baba and Golly I says to Owner?  ~She says it is alright they are happy and safe with St Francis who as you know heads up the sanctuary on the other side.  We love them loads, and little Mouse who is also safe now.  Now do go steady yourselves good folks out there in the Wold especially if you are missing someone in your family.  Big Love Wonka x

Mulled Wine Satdee

Wonka here.  It is now Day 20 of this good month December folks!!  And our little advent cartoon is of course from Joe's Christmas............

There he is!!  Neddy is of course the star of this story as he carries us and little Joe from start to end - and like the loyal creature that all horses are, he is the kind of friend we would all like in our lives.  This horse is a special horse, returned to the place he wanted and straight into our hearts.  We love you! x

Mulled wine para.  you guessed it, I have had to contend with an Owner who has (list) 1.  finished off the Christmas sherry early, and NO I am not having the excuse of well it was this and OH I had enough of that.  it simply means she has no sherry now for Christmas (I may relent.  I may have to relent.)  2.  has been to the resident's Christmas party where aged parent is, and drunk mulled wine.  usually Owner does not indulge saying things like 'OH NO I MUSTN'T' and 'I'M DRIVING' - but whatever has happened to make her let go of all this sense and instead have a bit of fun, well it's beyond me.  I am as you know keen to see Owner happy (as this makes me happy and beyond that I get extra portions) but sozzled??  The other big news of the day is not a surprise and I am even now gathering my strength for it.  She has contacted a good friend who knows where the Boolleys are (the kitwits) and suggested that if, IF, Monkey boolley is still skittering about she wants to take her back in.  That is if it is a she.  It seems Monkey is still up for grabs.  How I will cope I cannot say.  YOU WILL HAVE TO droned Owner gabbling on about igloos and kitten milk.  And as for Bertie bubb the most anti social cat I know.....The jury dear folks is OUT. x

Final mulled wine a gogo para.  Tonight we have the Strictly Finale!!  we still love Simon best because we do.  so it does not matter who is the best at this or does the best at that because He is our winner, and so is Kristina.  We love them.  So it is action stations in this house to get us fed. (priority) and then Owner can maybe have some food.  hang on, is that a glass of wine I spy??  Must dash as need to supervise Owner!  Do go steady yourselves out there in the Wold wherever you are in it. Big Love Wonka x

Part Two Fridee!!

Wonka here:  yes siree!  on the 19th Day of this good month December there is Part Two of the story.............

 

There we are!!  to read more about #wonka presents! The story of Joe's Christmas go to

www.smashwords.com and use the tag #wonka to find the #wonka series or use the title....do enjoy this second helping of our best Christmas Story to date!  in this part of the story we find out more about the Old Administrator and what happens to the wishes.....and there is one more instalment to follow.  Let the magic and sparkle be with you!  xx

 

Final part two para.  if at first, droned Owner to me this morning, you don't succeed........and this was all because of yet another glitch when she goes to upload the good part two.  YOUR FILE IS TOO BIG says the message.  And it is no good saying to herself OH NO IT ISN'T it is exactly to the limit, because no one can hear you from good smashwords in America land to our tiny island.  I mean I could hear Owner chuntering and such like and more than once I did say, careful Owner!  and watch you don't delete something by mistake!  She may not have heard me above chuntering though.  BUT it is safely uploaded for all to read and only part Three to go!!  And, we have more exciting uploads awaiting...........now last night was tense due to poor situations going on in real life and poor situations going on a la telly (The Fall)  we got by it all and out the other side to this morning folks and I must say Owner has cracked on.  Fielding phone calls, answering the door (scrap merchant.  they said) ignoring the phone and getting in a few essentials.  and some new fairy lights for aged parent.  the parcel that had been expected tried to deliver itself as soon as Owner sped off round the corner and we had an anxious time reading the card from the Postie and waiting for said neighbours to BE IN.  Who need extreme sports for that adrenalin rush, shouts Owner!  when all we need to do is live our life!!  Now the week is finito and the weekend before the big day (for some of us) is lurking like the postie round the corner,  So do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

 





Magic Thursdee

Wonka here.  Day 18 of this good month of December and here is out little advent....

 

There it is!!  the glass snowstorm that is on the Manager's desk and. turns up in little Joe's home courtesy of his Grandma.  Magic is at work all through our story, and we like to think is busy working for us out of it!!  Like before we invite you to wish upon the star - who knows if it will reach into the Returns Dept and come back to you as your dream wish come true!  We do hope so because, we love it! x

 

Magic para.  Someone, and I'm saying it was not me, was pat and mick in the night.  yes that is something called rhyming slang.  I blame Bertie Bubb.  And that's all I have to say. WHOEVER IT WAS goes Owner busy with the wipes, the sponges, the tissue, the smelly stuff, the carpet cleaner CAN PACK IT UP.  I said, we will all die first of cleaning stuff poisoning but she didn't hear me above prising open the poor back door to look for Ruggles.  yes we can rule him out. Why was he outside you all gasp up in worriment.   he asked to go out right on Owner's bedtime and she pronounced thus (big word but like it):  and (list) 1.  he wants to go out.  2.  It is not raining (yet) 3.  he has a warm and snug and safe place to go (the luxury shed) 4.  I am too tired to keep mucking about with this door.  and while I have mentioned the poor back door I must also tell you that NO SIGN of Carl to inspect it and give Owner an estimate to pop anything in its place.  The doorbell did ring earlier and straight away I dived upstairs to avoid the Vikings.  WAS IT THEM I enquired half an hour later when I trundled back down.  ITWAS POSTIE she goes, riving open some new cards from people she hasn't sent one to. (yet).  I love it.

 

Real final magic para.  magic happens all the time but we don't know it is says Owner to me.  Is that why you are talking to yourself, I goes? helpfully I thought and, it was close on my tea time.  DO I! she says back to me muttering away - I heard a small incantation that seemed to go:  please let the aged sibling prob resolve itself IN OUR FAVOUR, and please let our Christmas be happy and bright...I thought I heard one all about little Monkey boolley (please let Monkey come back to us if it is written in the stars) and if that is right I would have to add a bit of magic of my own that says AND IF WONKA IS OK WITH THAT!!  anyone would think I am completely anti social!!  I rest my paws and everything. now tonight we have the final episode of the fearful thriller THE FALL.  And just to flag up, we are on with our masterchef finalists who were all crying away last night BUT not because of nice Marcus Wareing who is smiling away and acting like a really friendly person.  I love him and he is my new hero. x  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

 



Turn Turn Turn Wednesdee

Wonka here.  It is Day 17 of the good month of December! and here is todays' Advent offering:

 

Here it is!  The Old Administrator who sits behind that desk sorting out - Admin of course!!  Now for him this means, all the returns (like Neddy) and all those wishes (Little Joe's Mum).   In our Christmas story, this old man is a bit fierce and resentful.  But as Paulo Nutini's song goes - hearts don't break on their own!!  NO.  and what to remember is, people don't go funny all by themselves either.  Behind the desk on the wall hangs The Rules!  There are always a good few rules to follow in life, and don't be afraid to use them and stand up to them.  This is what Neddy did, to ensure he got what he wanted.  And yes, we love it! x

 

Turning and turning para.  What you all say together, and bless our loyal reader, is this all about??  As you know, I had to stand by and watch Owner throw the towel in.  And not in the bath either! I mean to say she ditched the job and now we face starvedom all over again.  BUT, who knows what the fates, the employment gods and last but not least our wishing well, have in store.  They have this in store:  BBBBRRRGGG BBRRNG goes the good telephone this morn.  OH I SPOSE I'LL ANSWER it she goes dragging her cosy socks to get it.  It is only the old agency ringing up with a January job that sounds ideal.  BUT I DON'T WANT ANY MORE WORK, I hear her say, and I HAVE HANDED in my notice.  it seems, good folks out there all possibly considering the same thing what with the run up  to the end of the year and resolutions and all things of that nature, that HIST!  you don't have to stick to a decision like glue!  NO you can TURN IT ROUND again.  And this is what Owner has done as she liked the sound of the job, and it is at the same School that she likes.  Is the tide turning she questions up to me?  Personally I have no knowledge of the tides being in, out or how's your father but I did show interest as it was veering on extra helpings for breakfast time.  I love it.

 

Final turn again para.  The good and new boiler could not quite manage to start itself up this morn without assistance and I must say Owner must be on the right setting herself as she hardly moaned up at all.  or is this just plain giving up on anything ever being repaired setting??  I cannot report on the 'relatively new' washer as this repair person is still to show themselves at the door.  I am already on target to rush upstairs and under the bed when they do.  you never can be sure if it isn't those pesky Vikings as they get everywhere.  Well he did turn up as opposed to turning it round, AND he fitted the dear washer with a new DOOR LOCK.  is it, I ventured up to Owner like the ones that have to close quickly behind you in a space ship like in Alien??  T MINUS 10 SECONDS she shouts back!!  Even with this new thing inside its innards, Owner thinks it is still not quite right.  That, plus the ominous (like this word) announcement of the repairman who took the OLD DOOR LOCK for (quote) 'them to look at'.... What  says Owner, so they can check if it wasn't me being stupid?? I have to admit my reply was muffled by being several yards away AND under the bed so she may not have heard it.  The boiler is checked, the washer has been on a cleaning cycle til we thought we were all going funny with the clicking and whirring, and NOW it is relaxevous time.  Owner has a sherry to hand and a nice soothing bath.  Me? looking forward to a spot of masterchef and that nice Marcus Wareing.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

 



 

Ginger up Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Day 16 of this good month December!  and here is our advent for you..........

Here it is!!  The falling star from the little glass snowstorm.......a star we can all make a wish on!  go on, make your special wish and send it out there to the Returns Dept.........The Manager is waiting to make it come true.  Just think of all those wishes being processed (by the Old Administrator) and all those returns to Earth.  What would you come back as??  Owner is fond of saying (quote) this is her last time round.  Me?  thanks for asking and I rather fancy myself as a small pug dog............  I love it! x

Ginger it up para.  Why ginger you all question up?  Because (list) 1.  Last night as Owner was foraging (like this word) in one of the lopsided cupboards on the wall - she says they are like that funny house thing in the funfair where everything is tilted and when you look in the mirror you get a fright (no I did not make a joke here folks) - well as Owner likes to call this good home, the house that Jack built.  So as she was searching for the brown sugar out falls one of her little seasoning jars.  2.  OH she goes because it just missed her head and Ruggles who was directly underneath.  And 3. when she picks up said jar it is GINGER.   Perhaps she says to me in wonderment, we need some ginger in our lives.  LIKE?  I says back - I mean can it get anymore exciting, what with the tinkerboolleys episode, packing in jobs, all these pesky repairs??  I could do with some nice things happening she droned back.  And then blow us down if the good repair man to fit the new boiler (which we love already.  lots) is a ginger top.  so there.  All good things are ginger for today. x

Final ginger it up para.  YES is the answer.  The new boiler is installed and it has a little square window with a blue light.  Even better says Owner, it is no longer encased in a wooden cupboard that she used to knock her head on.  In agreement with ginger top boiler man, WE DO NOT NEED IT BACK ON!  The heating is back on and all the radiators are searing hot.  it is like the Sahara desert in here even though I have never been there, I am saying it is.  AND, the washer repair person is due tomorrow morn.  Owner says she is braced up for this.  And a new person called Carl is inspecting the poor back door on Thursdee.  Ginger top said it was FALLING TO BITS.  he is right.  And here is our last wondrous update on the Ginger theme.  My advent on MY advent calendar was a ginger cat called Maisie.  A ginger cat has made an appearance in Back Yard Land....and it was saying hallo to Ruggles.  I thought I saw it on the step dangerously near to poor back door.  DO NOT, ON ANY ACCOUNT I droned to Owner but she was too busy glegging at Kevin and Frankie on it Takes Two and they are comparing themselves to...........Fred Astaire and GINGER Rogers.  And on this last ginger note I am signing off.  Do go steady out there in your ginger top Wold wherever you are in it.  And specially if you are a Ginger person.  (I love it)  Big Love Wonka x

All Change Mundee!

Wonka here.  Day 15 of December and the good run up to the day itself.  Here is our little offering.............

 

We've already seen that!  You all gasp up and say!  OH NO YOU HAVEN'T!!  (oh yes we have you all whisper)  the thing is you really haven't because at around 1pm last night when Owner should have been tucked in her pit with the honey monster aka Bertie bubb on the pillycase next door to her head - well instead of that she was UPLOADING.  I AM DETERMINED  she goes to me, waking me up from a lovely dream and zzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH! I goes back with a start, and then had to seem interested - WHAT ARE YOU DOING Owner I ventures up zzzzzzzzzz  OH!  they said the first cover HAD BEEN REJECTED - well we all know that Owner cannot bear rejection of any kind so I do understand that she must beaver away and change the cover into a more suitable one for dearly beloved www.smashwords.com

BEHOLD!  The cover of our story, Joe's Christmas is now accepted with some (quote) SUBTLE (love this word) changes.  personally I cannot see why one is better than another and if you care to compare (ooer) the two, I dare you to notice what is right with one and what is wrong with the other.  There I have said it.  But not to worry!  as Part One is uploaded, and Part two and three await...........................we love it and will be popping them on smashwords in time for the Day. x

 

Final all changarooni para.  Now what has Owner done you all worry up?  She has chucked in her job with that agency.  The same agency that messed up her pay, rang her up at 7 in the morning and did not notice if she was doing well or not.  I HAVE DONE the right thing she drones to me this morning, and I am letting her off because I heard her book an appointment with another agency.  In early January.  New year new start she announces and took the words out of my paw.  I rest my case and paws and whiskers and everything!  She then went onto have a positive meeting about aged sibling and came back through the good front door on positive setting.  Tomorrow we must wrap up warm and find lots to do as the new Boiler is coming to live in Bathroom land.  And she has had one of those advance texts to warn you of another repair and that is the relatively new washer.  The salesperson in the shop she bought it from said IT IS NOT NEW and IT IS PROBABLY THE FILTER we clean them out all the time with hairgrips in them.  I am proud of Owner for not driving to the shop, finding the said saleperson, putting him in the nearest 'relatively new' washer and popping him on rinse and spin.  There, and I am not as you know given to violence of any sort.  Well perhaps when the Vikings turn up then.  In the dancing our faves all shot through to the Final and in the singin. it was Haenow Haenow who won out over the one who gets on Owner's last nerve.  A small victory then.  Tonight we are cuddled up to Corrie and the romeo and Juliet storyline is building up nicely.  no pun intended Owner says to put.  How so, I challenged up?  Because Wonka she droned, one of them is a builder.  OH I says showing lots of interest as it is surely supper time.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

 

 

Extra Extra!

Wonka here.   It is now very very late BUT Owner after a day of struggles and problem solving has managed to upload PART ONE OF........................

 

So far so Christmassy!!!! With any luck they will love that cover as much as we do!!  If it changes you will be the first to know - in the meantime it is there on www.smashwords.com in the #wonka series (numero twelve) - with much love from us to you xx

Solve it Sundee

Wonka here.  You must forgive my counting the days and getting in a muddle good folks out there thinking where is this day he is on about??  We are now on Day 14 of December!! and Owner is a very tired bunny....WHY? you all wonder up...This is due to trying to solve a problem.  The problem of size.  I CANNOT she gabbled to me, upload our Christmas Story in the oncer!  And three or is it four hours later, she has solved it.  EUREKA!!  Just like our hero Mr Charles Dickens did - well if it was good enough for him - it must do for us!  the Story is now in THREE PARTS!!

 

There we are!! there is me of course, au naturelle, and I am presenting all three parts of #JoesChristmas......  Owner will start to upload it later tonight and there will be a little message on here to celebrate.   We think it is an outsize story due to all the illustrations which you will love when you see them.  Me?  I love it!! xx

 

 

Final Solve it para:  so a very short and sweet post for my diary tonight as I am still enjoying the house back to myself (sorry tinkers and the Boolleys - mustn't mention them too much as it makes Owner go on a weeping jive) even Bertie made a short excursion out of the black hole of Calcutta oops I mean the Narnia Cupboard - he popped upstairs to the Land of Wardrobe.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it good folks - the new week is upon us and we have one repair hot on the heels of another. Big Love Wonka x

Sparkly Satdee

Wonka here.  Day 13 of good December folks!!  And here is our little cartoon advent.....

There we are!! our final offering of Neddy and little Joe before the big day of self publishing on #smashwords oooohhhhh!!! do look out for another in the #wonka series called:  Wonka presents The Story of Joe's Christmas.  It is our longest short story yet says Owner and hopes that all will enjoy this fully illustrated version.  Owner, I says up to her, they will love it! x

Sparkle ahoy para.  is it Christmas yet some of you are saying, and yet some of our faithful readers are a little bit BAH HUMBUG!!  This is from our hero Mr Charles Dickens who invented that saying and it does mean people who do NOT like Christmas and think it is all silly.  We are MINT humbug about it which means..............WE LOVE IT.

Final sparkle away para.  today passed by in a dream for me and Bertie Bubb whilst Ruggles did go out into the wilds of the BACKYARD and beyond land.  it was frosty and such like out there reports Owner when she stumbled back in from her double whammy visits.  I've got a calendar and a diary she gasps up once she had finished the feeding frenzy and let Ruggles into KITCHEN land.  She says she is sick of repeating herself to all.  WHAT I said up before I realised this would mean she had to repeat all of that again.  STOP IT WONKA she said, but she was sparkly smiling so that is alright.  Even though we have next week booked out for essential repairs she is STILL smiling.  Mundee for important meetings with someone to do with aged sibling, Tuesdee for the new boiler to be popped in, and Wednesdee for the new washer that we used to adore but don't anymore, to be inspected by a repair person.  THEY WILL TRY AND SAY IT IS ME moans up Owner, but personally I cannot see anyone challenging Owner at present, not even a pesky Viking if and when they turn up.  Now we must dash as the semi final of the dancing is on the good tv followed by a FINAL hex factor.  This is what I put up with in this house, and listen up!  I love it!!  our money is on Haenow Haenow to win it and not, not the one that gets on Owner's remaining nerve.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and tomorrow we hope to bring you our Christmas Story,  Big Love Wonka x

Good Morning Fridee

Wonka here.  Day 12 of December folks out there and pretty chilly it was too!  When Owner set off this good morn with the car of no name to the garage just over the bridge she reported the moon still in the sky and a beauty view either side.  Can you see the Sea from it I ventured up to show interest just prior to being fed and spoilt rotten.....The sea through the other little bridge and the Grand Hotel to the left hand side she goes all lit up with excitement.  She was snapping away as she walked into town and then it stopped for the other S to take over which is of course SPENDING.   Because it is Christmas and the season of good will I am tolerating this massive attack on the credit card.  I love it. (Christmas) x

Good morning para and cartoon break:

 

Aha!!  here is an illustration of little Joe's Mum making her Christmas List and wondering how on earth she can make it all happen.  she puts the list under the snowstorm on the TV and goes to bed thinking it won't be much of a Christmas.  but magic is underway and Neddy will carry little Joe through the night to that special Dept, the Returns Dept,  where wishes are processed and granted.  OOOHH, soon be time for this story to be told.  We love it.

 



Final good morning para.   I have got all the presents she says to me taking all these gifts out of the bags.  Then WHY, I goes up, have you bought a black jumper with holes in it?  I THOUGHT IT WAS MIDNIGHT BLUE she says back, and it seems the good assistant who persuaded Owner to buy the most expensive tweezers in the Wold (should be gold plated for that I said up but Owner was too busy rustling through the receipts to hear me) - yes the assistant thought it was blue too.  mark you, she could have said anything to keep Owner's interest, I know these shop assistants and their targets.  yes.  ~anyhow, it is Black with holey bits and Owner said she looked like an old hag in it when she tried it on.  NO I didn't agree with that!!  I advised Owner to try it on when she is (list) 1.  not worn out to the gunnels 2.  not depressed and missing the Boolleys 3.  had a night's sleep uninterrupted by neighbours in taxis, or cats or kittens or Bertie using the facilities.  ALRIGHT I WILL, she went back yawning.  At least the holey bits aren't black.  I love it.

Real final good morning para:  Owner says she is all repaired out and doesn't want anything else to break down.  Including her.  She survived a phone call about aged sibling in between choosing Christmas cards and says it didn't make her lose focus overmuch.  I have checked the said cards and they are all suitable and for the right people.  No I didn't see one which said to my beloved bestest ever in the whole Wold and back again and the solar system and beyond. BUT she could be hiding it.  Now all are in a fever of Christmas food and presents and visitings and need to just calm down. Owner says she is calm and to be fair I have not heard her shouting.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and whether you are preparing for Christmas or just a nice day or two.  Big Love Wonka x

Goodbye Thursdee

Wonka here.  it is now Day 11 of December and time for some Santa baby.

 

There he is, our Santa tealight holder.  He is all candled up and on our mantelpiece.  Today, we need some Father Christmas in our life so here he is.  Make a wish on him! and we hope it comes true.

 

 

Goodbye para.  yes you have guessed it this time.  The Boolleys and Mummy Tinkers are on the next bit of their life journey in Vet Land and then RSpCA land and then..........their new homes.  Will they be alright you all shout up?!  YES we shout back.  Owner has nearly stopped weeping and reports this:  they all cuddled up in the carrier and Tinkers was AS GOOD AS GOLD in the other one.  They have their igloo and their mice (one each) and the big red furry mouse that was there before them. Tinkers has her own mousey too.  Monkey clung to Owner's leg and we thought she might cave in but she didn't.  She came back with two empty carriers and wept.  Me?  tears of joy folks that the Land of Front Bedroom is vacant again!!  Bertie bubb even came out of the Narnia cupboard to celebrate.  And Ruggles?  I think he knew all along.  He is a wise ruggles.  now today passed by in a straggle (new word made it up and I love it) of hard things to bear by Owner.  ~The boiler will be replaced Tuesdee so we have a FULL REPAIR DAY to get anxious about, there are fresh things to sort out for aged sibling that may mean meetings and phone calls (reach for the Sherry Owner) and the Washing Machine has been a nuisance.  SURELY shouts Owner I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SLAM THE DOOR TO START it??  I says don't tell the repair service about that Owner but she didn't hear me above slamming the door to get it to start. That more or less sums the day up here but since Owner found the Christmas Sherry she's been nice and quiet and hasn't mentioned the Boolleys for minutes on end.   We have of course sent a massive prayer up to St Francis, and Santa and popped money in the wishing well for the love to get to Tinkers and the Boolleys. x so do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Momentous Wednesdee

Wonka here.  Day 10 of the good month of December folks and we are going to have a different advent today.

 

There she is!! Tinkerbelle and the Boolleys, from left to right there is the Cadpig (diamond patch on back) then Beau, then Marmalade then Monkey who is laying underneath everyone like a good Monkey should.  Owner has fallen in love with them BUT has had to make a momentous(what a word! word up!) decision.  WHAT is it you all gasp up?  they are all to be rehomed via the good vets and RSPCA.  ~For all you good folks out there who are thinking what is this RSPCA, it is international (we hope) and stands for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.  The Vets are to take all the boolleys and Mummy Tinkers and look after them all, having them vaccinated and micro chipped and neutered (don't even mention it) and such like UNTIL the best homes in the Wold are found.  It is all happening tmro at 11 am and I am proud of Owner for taking this step.  LET IT GOOOOOOOO.  this is Owner's big problem in life and the lesson she must learn good folks, and like the song goes, she must just let go and see what happens.   It is a proper Christmas Story this - and, as Owner has pointed out, very like the story I told you last Christmas (Wonka's Christmas Story on #smashwords) which is pretty amazing OR to quote Owner like I do, it is synchronicity at work.  And we love it.

 

 

Momentous para.   What else is such a big decision making thing you all wonder up.  the heating engineer did trundle on down and had this to say:  YOU WILL NEED A NEW BOILER.  This will take all day to do and Owner is already on a giant worrywart.  between this, the Boolleys and the car with no name......did I mention it is to have that essential repair done on it come Fridee??  How you all ask up, can Owner find time to get to work, slave away and come home to you all with all these things happening??  SHE CAN'T.  I have emailed the agency, Owner droned to me late this aft, (quote) to let them know I am NOT AVAILABLE.  OH, I goes back, they will love that then.  But she didn't hear me above planning for the removal of the boolleys.  they are going in a small cat carrier with their catnip mice and Mummy Tinkers in the big one (with her catnip mouse), which I have sat in occasionally and so has Bertie Bubb.  come to think on it, so has Ruggles top when he went for his tail op.  Best not to mention that one today to Owner, as she got a black eye out of it! SSHHHH.  so in keeping with the Christmas count down we have one repair on the back of another.  And a rehoming thrown in.  Tonight we must be glued to Corrie if it is on and the demise (good use of word) of Kylie.  Who else is having a demise?  Thingy who lives with Eileen and is sans partner (get me!) has met a Vicar.  or is that a dilemma??  Anyways, do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

North wind doth blow Tuesdee

Wonka here.  It is now Day 9 of December and we are very nearly there.  nearly there what?  you all shriek up....nearly there with this:

There he is!!  Neddy, the rocking horse who belongs to little Joe, and who takes us all with him on a magical journey in this story.  It is our special Christmas Story for our little but precious audience and as you know I have even let Owner's illustrations go in it.  I am nothing if not generous.  Except towards Tinkers, Bertie and Rugg.  I love it x

Final north wind para.  The wind dear folks is a bit like you, shrieking round the corners and getting in the windows and under the doors.  NO ONE says Owner, SHOULD BE OUT IN THAT.  Well of course there are people and animals out in it, and we hope they are all well wrapped up.  Me?  been in the Narnia cupboard mostly with my mate Bertie bubb.  alright he is not my mate then.  I did have a brief scrap with Tinkers which Owner said was warranted (big word but I like it).  How so?  you all query up.. because she sat on the same spot I like to sit on, on my best giant bed (the new settee).  The Boolleys are all dangling around the Land of Front Bedroom OR in their igloo.  Owner put her foot down today with the nice agency and school, hence no work.  BUT I said to her soothingly, you were right to value yourself Owner, when they are not.  I AGREE she says back.  EVEN IF I DO END UP OUT OF WORK AGAIN.  I mean you know I worry about being starving and such, but I have put plenty of good wishes in the wishing well so the future is taken care of.  Does it extend though I ventured up to Owner, to paying for a pack of four catnip mice for the Boolleys? They need toys she shouts up.  Hmmmm.  Now do keep warm, and snug, and I hope your day was as restful as Owner's, my scrapping aside.  My advent was a cat called Georgia and Owner had a star.  yes.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Messed up Mundee

Wonka here.  Day 8 of December folks and our advent calendars are all go go go.  Owner had a tree on hers and me?  thanks for asking I have cats on mine naturally, and today it is a cat called Sevvy.  Owner has been out all day covering for those poor teachers who cannot teach for today.  I WAS A BIT MESSED up she droned, for a Music lesson and a thing called PD.  What is that I said full of interest as I was due for a large helping of fodder?  Personal Development she goes back.  Well that would mess anyone up I says helpfully and as for the music they all ended up singing we'll meet again.  Which is alright because it is about the War.  OH I says to this, not quite so keen as I had a big plate of good as it looks to tackle.

Out best messed up para.  For today, Owner has found more illustrations for you

Here we are!  this is an original sketch from Owner's ancient computer thingy.  It was an application that wasn't called that as it was too old.  A bit like you Owner!  Only Joking !!!!  so there she is, the Manager of the Returns Dept and she is looking at the snowstorm we have told you about, and inside you can see the tree with all the decorations and suddenly! does the star on the top fall out and onto her desk............all in #joeschristmas, which I will be presenting, so #wonkapresents.  When you all wonder up, will it be published??  Owner is hoping for this weekend.  I love it. x

Final messed up good and proper para.  yesterdee you may recall I had to tell Owner off.  OH YES!  you all gasp up thinking of poor Owner slaving away at work and at home, and then thinking what has she done.  Well she did shout up a tad in the Land of Front Bedroom due to Tinkers.  it is only a little mishap I went to her when she arrived back down below, and (listen to this sage advice...) WORSE THINGS HAPPEN AT SEA.  I am sorry she starts up, sorry to Tinkers and specially sorry to the Boolleys who are blissfully unaware that Owner is on LOSING IT setting.  She has stayed sorry and has promised to forgive them all whatever they do next.  And to prove it she has refilled all, yes all the catnip fish and mouseys.  Even the Boolleys are playing with their one.  Well really it is Tinker's catnip toy but if it keeps them occupied......Of course all is peaceful and calm today and the messed upness simply moved from home to work.  I love it loads.  Now tonight we are clinging to whatever is on.  Anything that lulls Owner into a sense of wellbeing we shall watch.  Rug is being good atop the linen basket and Bertie is parked up in the Narnia cupboard.  All is well.  Now do go steady good folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka. x

Big Sundee

Wonka here.  this dear folks out there is the seventh Day of December.  And lo and behold does Owner plump for a bit of the Nativity story.  Personally I'm in favour of this specially as it is to do with Christmas and all.  Owner has a little tea light holder of Mary and Joseph with the babe.  It is busy lighting up our mantelpiece along with the Santa.  All these people came to light up our way, like those stars up in the heavens.  Blimey I've gone all poetic and Owner says that is what Christmas does to you.  I love it.

Fresh and Big para:  here is another in our series of illustrations from #joeschristmas which I am of course presenting:

This is 'small Neddy' as Owner calls it, just of the many illustrations of the magic rocking horse.  He was a former racehorse until he was 'returned'!!  And it was the Manager of the Returns Dept up there in the heavens who sends him back to Earth (returned him.)..........which is when he came to live with little Joe and his Mum at Horace Poole Close.  ooohhhhh.  We love it. x

Final Bigger and better para.  Owner says her fave film (in her top ten or is it twenty.  At her age it will prob be twenty.....ONLY JOKING OWNER) Big is on at 7.  THIS CLASHES, she reports up, WITH EVERYTHING.  and it does.  it clashes with Corrie which has suddenly appeared to be on at 7 and it clashes with the Dancin results show.  We are spoilt for choice.  After all of that, then there is the over the top and to quote the man for all tv shows, Simon Ghoul, 'emotionally charged' semi final results of the singin!!  In the Hex Factor semi final!our fave Ben (haenow haenow don't DREAM it's over....) was nearly sobbing into his halleluljahs (however you do spell that word) last night.  Today has gone by in segments.  Frist up Owner has a peaceful night which is just as well because Tinkers GOT ON HER NERVE.  And I say nerve on purpose because it is the last one folks,  IT IS NOT THE BOOLLEYS she shouts up, it is YOU Tinkers!!!  I says mind out Owner you will frighten little monkey and marmalade and cadpig and Beau.  so instead of shouting she counts to ten.  Did it work you all worry up??  yes it did.  Me??  good as gold.  a mild hiss here and there and to be fair, it is warranted.  Bertie Bubb?  nice as ninepence.  Ruggles top??  minding his own.  so yes, it is Tinkers who is stepping over the mark.  So really it was swimming, shopping and shouting up segments.  with a bit of snooker thrown in for our hero of all time Ronnie O Sullivan only potted another 147 breakarooni!!  he a legend.   Now the good week is upon us nearly and who knows what it will cough up so LET US BE READY for it.  do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x.

North Star Satdee

Wonka here:  another little treat for you on Day 6 of December.....

 

There we are!!  lots of stars and there is Neddy riding through the night towards the Returns Dept where all the magic is, and wishes are processed to come true!  On his back is of course little Joe fast asleep and there in the centre is the snowstorm.   The secrets begin inside the globe and with a falling star!  I love it. x

 

 

Main and final north star para:  it is synchronicity at work drones Owner when she returns from her Christmas lunch out at the North Star hotel.  Which is naturally situated in the middle of nowhere and close to the chilly blue sea.  Personally, I like the middle of nowhere and I'm pretty sure that's where Bertie comes from.  Now the Boolleys as you know all live in the Land of Front Bedroom, and Ruggles dear boy, has immigrated to us from OUT THERE land. and a very chilly out there land it is tonight too.  Did you enjoy it at the North Star I ventured up to Owner showing that special interest prior (good use of word) to my tea time.  WE SAT IN A DIFFERENT PLACE she says back, and, get this, she sampled their nut roast.  and survived it.  What did Owner mean though going on about synchronicity?  she reckons that Stars are popping up all over the shop ever since she announced that Joe's Christmas was the next story to be told.  and it is all about stars as you know.   It is our biggest story to date and I like to think the greatest story, next to that other one of course.  (the one about the babe who gets to be born in a shed AND has people following him all to do with stars! more stars!!).... We are about to embark on our usual Satdee night fare of staring trance like at dancers and singers until Owner says she has had enoughski.  So do go steady yourselves out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Brain freeze Fridee

Wonka here.  It is now the fifth day of December good folks out there all nicely prepared for the day whilst us?  in this house??  we have a few lights here and there and the Santa tea light holder is out but really I would say we are under prepared.  There I have said it.  I HOPE goes Owner when she fell in at top speed ready for the heating engineer who as yet has not turned up. I CAN PUT MORE things out to make it more Christmassy.  You could, I ventured up, use the time you are waiting for the engineer to do that in.... but she didn't hear me above rushing round making sure there weren't any embarrassing things for him to see when HE DOES GET HERE.  I love him (he is very used to the boiler and knows it on first name terms. x)

Good brain freeze para.    Owner's brain has seized up due to being a maths teacher all day.  Well of course she is not a maths teacher but standing in and up for the ones who for whatever reason could not do it.   After a full day at it she can barely add 2 + 2 now.  Luckily we do not need any maths in this house, just lots of food and cuddles.  For our Christmas cartoon, another in the series for you:

 

There it is!  The Snowstorm with the tree inside and the star, which in this picture, has fallen off the tree!  it is on the Manager of the Return's Dept desk, and when she sees it, she has to look at the rules.  A falling star is special, and means the wish will always come true.  Oooh, I wonder who will be lucky.  This is of course from our Christmas story, Wonka presents, Joe's Christmas, and since Owner has been very busy, there are lots of illustrations this year.  We love it.

 

 

Final frozen up para.  Now at last, the good week is behind us with all its ups and downs and the weekend is ICI.  TRES BON!!  tomorrow Owner is to go out for lunch with aged sibling and it is the first Christmas meal of them all.  she knows what she will wear (until that changes) and hopes to enjoy some good company.  meanwhile, back at this ranch, the kittens are still treading through the biscuits and refusing to be weaned, whilst Mummy Tinkers is busy eating her food and their food when it is put out to tempt them into growing up.  I mean.  Bertie bubb is solid in the Narnia Cupboard and I am slowly getting used to being the topcat, but in less space.  Ruggles top is nicely on the linen box and no one not even a cat expert would believe he used to live outside.  no.  So do enjoy your Friday eve good folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Still standing Thursdee

Wonka here.  Once more dear folks and we are now on DAY 4 of December and the advent process.  Here follows another in our series of Joe's Christmas:

 

Here he is!  It is good Neddy rocking horse, another star of this story and because Owner's brain is on dizzy and pause setting today she cannot recall if we have already shown Neddy.  Owner I goes to her, in fact I says OWNER, would it matter if you had?  Personally I love Neddy and if Owner were to show this for the entire advent I would not complain and nor would our reader.  No.  it is due to Neddy and his early return back to earth from the Returns Dept (by the Manager no less) that he is able to take part in little Joe's Christmas.  No ordinary rocking horse is he, oh no.  and yes, we love him! x

 

 

Final standing up to it all para.  today Owner had to resettle something she thought she had already settled four weeks since.  to be fair, she stayed on fairly calm setting and spoke nicely to at least one person involved.  And by the time she spoke to the one who was causing all the to do, she was back to calm again.  MY LIFE has been her chant today.  I put it all down to the broken night's sleep and intense dreams she is having of late, but Owner says this does not account for my hissing and growling behaviour whenever I set eyes on another feline.  YOU ARE NOT HELPING she goes to me, thankfully through a closed door and by this time I was on my shelf in the Narnia cupboard and Bertie was growling at me!!!  YOU ARE A BUNCH OF ANTI SOCIAL felines she goes up but she was still smiling and still standing up to it all.  the house you all want to know?  was it the dream house.  NO.  it smelt funny says Owner when she floated back in on her exhausted dream cloud.  Plus she says the clincher was the bathroom.  This is an important room to Owner and she says it resembled something out of the Shining.  Horrid white brick tiles and the drone of the air thingy.  HORRID.  so that's alright we must dangle on here a bit longer until the hand of the moving god reaches us.  The Boolleys are still steady as you go and Tinkers is still eating their kitten food.  Ruggles is the steadiest of all and even though we do hiss at each other on sight I don't mind him overmuch.  (paws crossed!)Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x