Short and Sweet!

Howdy up folks and just this to report:

noises in the night which woke Owner up and resembled a shed door banging endlessly and at random times just when you might drop off OH! finally Owner trip traps down below and glares out back and can just make out (it is by now 3 am folks.x) a dark shape at the top of the yard.

DID SHE GO OUT TO SEE WHAT IT WAS Wonka?

YES SIREE! as in all the best horror stories and thrillers and ghost ridden tales, she sped out to see what the dark shape was.

WHAT WAS IT Wonka? and DID OWNER RETURN?

it was the good cherry tree blown over folks and Owner did trip trap back in saying things like. WHAT THE HECK IS that banging will it ever stop and I HOPE THE TREE STAYS UPRIGHT.  for once folks, the forecast (strong winds plus a good drenching rain.x) was spot on.!

 

There we are it is Book 10 in the Wonka stories!! and remember I said there is no plot to the conversations...........just Owner rambling on and on and on.  I love it!X and do folly the good link! X

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/472581

The day wore on and wore on including HORRID ACCOUNTING and MONEY PROBS. There was not hardly a moment in the day without a money prob and we are now up to Holbee Citee and a good bout of broken ribs and squeamish operations to take Owner's mind off.  OH! I have just remembered that Owner's fave, In da Club is on at 9pm and may save us.  Especially if Rugglesis refuses to come in from the luxury shed. yes.X

Have a cozee eve folks and Owner says 'Render unto Caesar!' I reckon she on about those pounds again........Big Love Wonka X

Just Wonka!

Howdyup folks! and I do hope you have had a nice snooze ridden Mundee!  Right here in our tiny little sunnyish spot, it is a Bank Holidee Mundee and this means....................(small roll on the drums.x) films like 'White Christmas' and 'Quo Vadis' will be showing.  Yes.

DID YOU WATCH ONE OF THEM Wonka? you are all desperate to know.  We tried to watch Quo Vadis but it was 5 mins to the end and then we watched practically all of White Christmas which Owner reports she has never, JAMAIS seen before, not even at Christmas.  End of and Bank Holidee fact up.X

and how is this for synchronicity folks, Eggheads has just had a question on said film.  HOW WIERD IS THAT droned Owner to me.  I know.X

 

There we are!  It is Book 9 in the Wonka Stories!! and it does continue on with the sorry state of Owner's life and how I manage to cope with it. and here with and without further ado is the good link to it:

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/448512

Listen up to this folks! Today, Owner read an entire article in the Satdee review all about PLOT.  yes.  it turns out that some stories have a plot and stick to it and some just wander here and there picking up characters and storylines willy nilly (I like that expression and I might use it more often.X). FOR INSTANCE Wonka? you all shout at me wanting a real live example.  Owner says that the 'Conversations with Wonka' are without a plot whilst Wonka's Christmas Story, Wonka's Easter Story are with one.  And folks, I am for once in full agreement with Owner.  The new story, The Egyptian Tale has a plot too - as you will see when it is published!  very very exciting and we wish the good publishers would hurry it along!!X

There is hardly anything else to report not even Yogi turning up to pinch Rugglesis food.  Ruggle did refuse to come out of his box on the shelf in the luxury shed last night and Owner had to use every tactic going.  DID THIS MEAN GRABBING HIM QUICKLY BEFORE HE COULD NIP OWNER AND THEN HOLDING HIM TIGHT WHILST HE STRUGGLED AS IF BEING TAKEN SOMEWHERE HORRID?  all of that folks and more.  Owner needed a strong cup of tea once back in the warm harbour of the kitchen and Ruggles settled immediately on his heated pad.  I ask you.X

Bertie has been out once or twice to use the facilities and nibble his biscuits.  I did leave him a couple. ME? thanks for asking, mostly having a few well earned zzzzzz and getting ready for the back to back soaps this eve.  Staycee seemed to win all the awards in the soap award thingy last night and some of the actors had frozen smiles on their faces according to Owner who was busy shouting things like NOT AGAIN, and NOT HER AGAIN at the telly.  Do go on to enjoy your eve folks and remember it is a FOUR day week now!! big Love Wonka X

Wonka Strikes again!

aha! just when you were all falling asleep and relaxing on your best settees and thinking what is on the good tv, is it just where eagles dare again.....there is a new Wonka Story alert!! and without anymore ado on this sleepy hollow sundee, here it is folks.X

 

There we are! the first Easter Story from me, and it introduces you all to Duffel - he is a boy who lives on Level Two, and who has a magic coat - YES it is a duffel coat...it can magic him out of any situation, well nearly every situation, and this is Duffel's first adventure, to find and bring home Sam - a dog who got left behind when his Owner moved on from earth to the next level YES level Two! We love Duffel, and he is in two more stories after this one.....X

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/427147

There we are! The good link for you to find it and enjoy - and this is Book 8 in the Wonka Series. We love it!X


In other sleep ridden news, Owner has managed to write a bit more of our new and spook ridden story.  Just because it is Sundee and revving up to a bank holiday, I did say to her this is no time for slacking Owner! but I don't think she heard me above tapping away on the keyboard folks.X

We snuggled up tight to Brits got massive Talent and the Magician won it!  WELL DONE! we shouted at the screen, as he was one of our faves.  The big choir that lifted our spirits DID NOT come second, but a singer did.  And, the man who slid up and down a pole doing death defying stunts HE didn't come third.  I mean.  Tonight we might cuddle up to the soap awards and I have warned Owner that Staycee might win something for her acting out of being a crazed woman.  CAN YOU STAND IT Owner? I says up to her.  MAYBE she says back.  Now you all enjoy your sundee Eve and do as little as possible folks.....Owner is quite busy as you know seeing to ME, Bertie Bubb and Rugg - AND that Yogi has crept in and eaten up all Rugglesis left overs.X
 
Paws up folks! Big Love Wonka X

A little more conversation!

Listen up folks, in our neck of the woods it is a Bank Hol Weekend, and that means more funny stuff on the good radio and tv, more chill weather and possibly a good soaking AND time for Owner to realise we are still poverty stricken and why are we bothering!X BUT before she can descend to the lowest mood setting there is this folks:

 

There we are! yes that is me proudly sat up to the table folks for part three conversations...........Owner is still on the road to recovery and I am a huge help, along with the ancient Greeks (I know.x) and a glimmer of Life Planning.  it will all make sense once you read it and herewith and hitherto is the good link up:

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/405860 

 

Goodness knows we are worth it.................X

 

In the rest of today's news. Owner's hair has gone right - ish.  At least I have not heard one word about it for a full ten mins!  I blame on the small lay in I allowed her to have after jogging round the bed (It's my circuit folks.X) for around 15 mins early doors.  That was after I checked out Bertie and made him hiss and growl (Owner slept through that one....x) - yes I wouldn't say she sprang out of bed but I am optimistic folks yes I am. X

 

Tonight is the show down and finally final of Brits got some talent except it hasn't got our faves that was the presentations school choir AND Christian Lee. We will have to root for an underdog and NO it mustn't be the performing mutt what did make the finally final. Hopefully there will be helping of Casualtee to cheer Owner up as Connie has gone really horrid and we are not keen on the new nursey or doctor or wotnot.  Do all of you enjoy your day and don't worry about us being poverty stricken as we are all used to it.  Yogi has called in for some food and Owner thinks now that he or she is starving and we must feed it.  Ruggles is not keen even though he used to be in a similar position.  I ask you. X

 

Silly Satdees folks!! Big Love Wonka X

 



A Wonka for all Seasons!

would you believe it folks, it is Fridee again.  Owner says she is ready for a break and anyone would think she had been hard at it! Just a little bit of invigilating and today it was Eng Literature.  DID THEY GET ON WITH IT Owner I asked up, it being close to my lunch time.  YES MOSTLY, she tells me up and mostly they all tackled a poem by that Wilfred Owen, who wrote a good few poems about the Great War folks.  We love him.

AND, Owner is insisting on a little cartoon all about the Great War, and it is about a fictional soldier (she says he is.) called Private Peaceful.  Owner sat through a whole film about him at one of her schools. I know.

 

 

There we are!!  This is Owner's sketch from the film and in honour of all the soldiers on all sides who displayed courage beyond the call.  hankies away!!  and all because they are doing this in Eng Literature folks!  Those good students eh. We do love them.X

 

Now, in line with the Wonka Stories, we are now on the sixth Wonka and it is the Christmas one!! although this is now published (Wonka's Christmas Story - in the bookshop in the sky, Amazon in hardback and softback and how's your father PLUS it is fully illustrated too.x) but the original story without the good illustrations is still available and here it is:

 

There is it! and herewith as per is the link folks:

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/377147

 

 

There really is a Wonka Story for all seasons! X

 

In other lesser but still really interesting news, Owner is going on about letting her hair 'grow' out and go natural.  I could place a bet right now folks on this NOT happening, but instead I have assured Owner she looks the biz.  YES, it is cuddling up to my tea time.X

 

Tonight we cannot snuggle up to Brits got talent it is not on there is football instead.  BUT our new fave, the school choir did not get through and we wonder who is our fave now..... it might have to be the chappie who dangles off a pole and swallows swords.  In Corrie Carling brown eyebrows has finally driven off into the twilight and Callum has been dug up.  so we are left with Enders and the continuing and exciting (who would have known Bobby would come into his own with this murderous storyline? eh? EH?) confession by Bobby who has been allowed downstairs for an awfully long time to tell it.X

 

Do enjoy your Fridee eve folks and more about ME, alright and Bertie Bubb who I chased round at 5 am ish this morning....and Rugglestop who had to be enticed in from the luxury shed last night and you would have thought Owner was dragging him off to somewhere nasty instead of his nice warm kitchen. Keep smiling!

Big Love Wonka X



More conversations!

IT SOUNDS LIKE AN ELVIS song gone wrong says Owner..... I know, I said what you meaning Owner too!! Then folks, does she start singing 'a little less conversation a little more action' to me.  Of course since then we both have it on our brain cells going round and round.............BUT the point is folks it is the fifth in the Wonka series:

 

There we are!! That is me at the bottom and that is good Baba at the top.  He was a bit tatty and smelly, so we loved him lots; as usual this story tracks the downhill spiral of Owner and how I made it all bearable - ish.  That and a few cups of strong tea and a boxset.  and sweets and that toffy popcorn. MMMMM.  Anyhow folks, herewith and without further ado is the good link:

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/364769

 

 

In other fairly interesting news, the fridge door opened itself in the night due to a bulging ice box.  I know, that is what I thought.  Owner will not go and buy a new one NOT WONKA whilst this one is still going strong she tells me up.  But folks, when she has to bash the overlapping ice with a rolling pin to allow the icebox door to shut so that the fridge door will shut and ALL OUR FOOD WILL NOT SPOIL, well does she consider a new fridge then? eh? EH?? To round this saga off, and it all took place this morning like all things do when there is no time to fix things or take time out to smash ice with a rolling pin..........then folks, did the little lamp inside give up.  So then it was a pitch black fridge that would not shut.  I mean.X

 

Tonight there is more drama in Corrie now that Tyrone has driven a truck into Gail's best bedsit....SO WHAT WONKA? you all rightly say to me.  I'LL TELL YOU SO WHAT folks - it means that murdered Callum, buried under the concrete of the said bedsit is now revealed!!!NOW you are all listening up!!  Carling brown eyebrows has caused an accident to Roy's best friend and will he ever forgive her, we think not.  then it is the finally final of the semi finals to Brits got a bit of talent.Our fave Christian Lee DID NOT GET THROUGH by the way, so we need a new fave.  Tomorro is Fridee and Owner is slaving away for the morning, then folks she can get round to seeing to ME, Bubster and Rug - it's been tough snuggling in my amaZEN box waiting for her to fall back in each day but I've done it.X

 

Do enjoy your eve, and if you can bear the story of Roxie and Foxy and her drugged up mischief then you can watch Enders....I may let Owner watch 5 mins.  Big Love Wonka X

Baba too!

Howdy up folks from a very soggy seaside.  YES it is the usual run up to a Bank Holiday weekend folks.  Freezing, raining, windblown and grey skies! We love it. Especially when I'm tucked up in my amaZEN box pressed up to a searing hot rad.  End of and hot fact up.X

Today, we bring you Wonka again and Baba too.X

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/349593

 

There we are! and hereto and hitherto and up above is the good link!  For those of you who have never in their life heard of Baba, he was the first cat (after MOI) to move inside from the outside.  he used to bleat like a sheep hence his name, and he would make the loudest noise of all when Owner was on the phone.  He was tatty, he had funny teef, his digestion system defied all known brands of cat food and we loved him.  A lot.  He is now in a little wooden box with lilies on the top, on the shelf in the luxury shed and of course Rugglestop nests in there to keep him company.X

 

In other less riveting news, Owner staggered in soaked to the skin having made a visit to the shops after her stint at the Skool. IT MAY AS WELL BE JANUARY she moaned up and I did take a small interest it being close to my tea time.  Ruggles darted in from said shed (OOH a bit of alliteration I am proud.x) and Bertie Bubb is only a matter of centimetres from his dish of biscuits anyway.X

 

Tonight is like groundhog day as we cling to Corrie and the end of any nuptials for Carling brown eyebrows and crazed Nick.  he kept going on about tell me red is black or white is red or someat.  Obviously Carling didn't pass the test and the wedding was ORF.  Thanks mostly to evil Tracee and we cannot wait for the next episode.  do enjoy your evening folks and keep warm!  big Love Wonka X

 



Even more Wonka!

me again folks!! with the next in the Wonka Series and guess what............ This one is about Golly.  Owner says he is still brushing round us and is only in the next room.  PLUS he was my bezzie (Owner does not like that word she says it is silly Wonka!) but you know what I mean folks:

 

 

There we are!  and herein and thereby and what the heckington is the link:  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/324384

 

 

We love it folks and so will you - Owner thinks this is where her story began - and me? thanks for asking, just an innocent bystander loving and giving and dishing out endless advice!!X

 



In other less excitable news, Owner has been hard at it ALL DAY and in her own words, is examed out.  She is due for some more tomorrow and the day after and I said to her I said, think about all the biscuits it will buy me! how motivating is that!!X

Rugglestop stayed in all day instead of bounding off to the luxury shed and Bertie has been out of his igloo for hours on end.  Especially when I am upstairs for my siesta. yes.  Tonight once more we hit the trail of Brits got massive talent and so far we are in agreement with the general public which is rare I know for Owner, and let's see who makes it through the night tonight. In Enders, Jane who was bashed on the head by Bobby's hockey stick, still has a pulse - but only according to Shazzer and what does she know? eh? EH?  In Corrie, carling brown eyebrows is nearly tying the knot with crazed Nick BUT we all know she must spoil it.  either that or Tracee might...................we are loving it folks. Now you enjoy your eve, and be like Owner, have a fry up.  Now that fat is in AND low fat is out, go for it!! Big Fat Love Wonka!XXX

More Wonka!

me again folks!! and yes, we are now on the second in the conversations series EVEN THOUGH it is not called conversations it is..........You'll see once you read them AND they are all about Owner - Me? I just dish out plenty of advice and am mostly ignored....X

 

 

There we are! More Wonka indeed.  and here it is on our very best link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/321479

 

 

Exciting or what!!  X

 

 

In other less riveting news, Owner has been hard at it all day what with invigilating (eng Lit folks - ver ver important.x) then a tad of shopping (also ver important.x) the usual housework and clearing up after ME, Bertie and Rugglestop and then she says she might sit down?? I mean! X

 

Tonight we continue to cuddle up to Brits got massive talent and our new fave is Christian something.  He is funny and does a spot of magic as well.  Can he win it though?  he might do now that Owner has gone to the trouble of downloading (I know.  Ver proud of her.x) the APP. We have moved into the 21st Century in one swipe on the old tablet folks!! Alongside this, there is Corrie and the marriage that surely must go bad PLUS a hint of buried bodies! OOOHHHH!!! Do enjoy your little selves folks and I will tune in tomorrow! Big Love Wonka X

Wonka Stories

Howdy up folks!  for the next few weeks Owner has MADE me alright suggested to me that we post a story a day.  As there are 22 of these NOT Counting the published one and the one to be...
I had best make a start.  It is exciting because I am going to pop a link on AND a cover photee.

IS OWNER ALRIGHT Wonka you all just have to know??  She is fine, she has nearly stopped popping different hair product on her hair she has nearly stopped thinking about moving and she is very nearly relaxing on her day off.X

First Wonka story up is:

 

 There we are and herewith and hitherto is the link to take you straight to our bestest and first in the series Wonka Stories!!

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/321466

We could not have known at the time folks, how popular my advice would be NOR how funny I was either. It seems a long time ago now folks, but it is only four years since I urged Owner to make a start on this writing business - as for the little sketches she throws together, well I like them and I hope you do too. X

Now I must dash, as the usual checking awaits me.  Bertie Bubb has been subjected to a springclean even though it is nearly Summer (really?) and his igloo is hanging on the line.  BLIMEY said Owner when she inspected it.  Ruggles has trotted to his second home the luxury shed and is in his own snuggley box. do have a sunggley down day yourselves folks and remember there is a big dose of Brits Got a lorra talent PLUS corrie all week. We love it.  Big Love Wonka X

Bid for Property!

YES folks, Owner has only gone and placed a bid on a property.

YOU ARE g865760th in the queue, it says.

How big a chance has Owner got, you folks all ask me, concerned that Owner will never get anything or go anywhere or achieve her dreams.............. FOLKS!! WISHING WELL ALERT!!!

Did you hear the klaxon go off then??? I have popped a few pieces of silver in said well with a GIANT wish for Owner.  I think it is the bestest property so far and if anyone deserves to live in it, it is Owner.  it is in a very nice location TICK, it has gas central heating GIANT TICK (Owner cannot survive for 2 mins without heat.x) it is near her fave school MORE TICKS.  it has a garden OOOHHH and pets are allowed - that means ME, Bubbster and Rugglesis can all live happily ever after............ XXXX

 

There it is folks and as you recall it lives in the Narnia cupboard on a high shelf.  AND it is overflowing with good wishes too. Do they all come true though Wonka, you all wonder up?? Yes, folks, every last one.  Not always in the size and shape you ordered up but, I am still in a good supply of best biscuits, I could have two friends if I was a mite friendlier and Owner is not short of hours on her zero hour contract.  That Well folks, is on the money!!X

 

 

Here we are folks, the link to our new Duffel Story:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/637195  it is free like all the others, and we specially love it!! X

 

Last night we snuggled up to all the soaps and it is all weddings - Staycee married Marrtin and Shazzer is back with Fil OH and evil Bobbee struck his 'Mum' (YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MUM!) with a hockey stick.  All because he cannot go back to his fave posh skool.Yes.  Over in Corrie - evil Jennee is busy weaving her wicked spells but who will notice?? We think Sophee might and Sally councillor has never been keen. tonight it is all back to Brits got loadsa talent and I am hoping for a bout of Casualtee to settle Owner's nerves.  Any talk of moving is unsettling folks and I am ready with advice of course I am.  Just because it scores highly on all the mood settings...................X

 

Do have marvellous Satdees folks, and no sudden moves!! big Love Wonka X



Apple Tree Fridee

OOHH! an Apple tree!  Yes it is a new addition out back.  Did I mention that Mr and Mrs from somewhere in Best India have moved out and some newbies have taken over - next door folks.

Owner was very sad, as she has loved her old neighbours and the minute she heard she says PLEASE CAN I HAVE THE TREE? it turns out, that the twig Owner has been admiring from the bedroom window, recently burst into blossom DESPITE not being looked after in any shape or form.  Some plants and trees folks, they go on and flower and blossom without anyone doing anything - is there a lesson there?? ANYHOW, the next minute Owner is the proud owner of a big twig, with blossom and it is an Apple Tree!!X

 

There it is! it is tucked round the corner for a full blast of sunnyshine. when the sun is out that is.  HOW MANY TREES has Owner got now? you all shout up to know?  Counting all the buddleias and all the ones brought by the birds PLUS the Apple and the Cherry.....  LOTS.  We love trees.  End of and greenery fact up.X

 

Is Owner still on flat and fed up mood setting Wonka?  she has been rushed off her little feet today and had not time RIEN DE TEMPS to feel anything folks!  As you know I trust the wishing well implicitly (SHUT THE BACK DOOR!! Word up.X) - and I have flung many a coin in it to encourage Owner's workload to improve WeLL IT IS working!!  does she get two phone calls for work.  YES she turns the first one down as it is miles and miles away BUT accepted the next one which was slightly less miles.  Alright she mumbles - I'll do it.  When she fell back in hours later, delayed on the road by a poor accident, I did say how was it Owner? full of interest due to being starving.  IT WAS FINE she droned to me, and then got on with seeing to ME, Bertie Bubb (I love his new biscuits) and Rugglesis. I love it.X

 

Tonight, if Owner can stay awake we can hug up to Corrie X 2 and nice but craze ridden Nick and Carling brown eyebrows might get wed. McTodd the new detective is uncovering all about Billy Vicar's bruv and Jenee who is probably evil is busy taking over the factory.  We love it.  If Owner is up to it, we will watch Enders with our hankies out.  Even Fil is stepping up with the emotion folks, now that his mum Pegee is in the next room. Do enjoy your Fridee eves folks and snuggle up in your best boxes! Big Love Wonka X

 



Upgrading!

DON'T TELL ME OWNER HAS UPGRADED SOMETHING Wonka......................
Only by accident folks, so it doesn't really count.  For years now, alright months, Owner has avoided every single pop up on her screen about Windows 10.  NO I DO NOT WANT TO UPGRADE she goes and dabs quickly at the NOT NOW, or NEVER AGAIN button;  for some reason, yesterdee morn did she see yet another message about YOUR UPGRADE IS SCHEDULED FOR......and it would take 90 minutes YES 90 mins of Owner's best time.  and because she did not say NO - it only went and did it!!!

 

 

There we are!! Owner had to go off to do her invigilating and I watched the screen as it said this and said that AND asked you to press this and OK the other.  Look Owner, I says to her, when she flung back in, desperate to see if all our best files had been sucked into a black hole.  BUT NO.  Aside from having to remember a million different passwords never mind her own name - all was well!  Do we like Windows 10 folks?  We cannot know there was any change except for the better.  DOES OWNER recommend trying it Wonka?  YES but don't blame her if you don't hug up to it, like we did!! X

 

Apart from this giant step for an Owner to make, she reports feeling 'flat' and 'fed up.'  How this has come about when she has ME, bertie bubb and Rugglestop to cheer her on I don't know.  YOU NEED a holiday I says to her.  She has a good BIG birfdee celebration to attend in August so I really don't know why she is complaining.  She always goes a bit funny at this time of year folks and we mustn't forget Mercury, Owner's ruling planet is still travelling backwards until May 22 - what excuse she can use after Sundee I cannot say folks.............. end of and mood setting facts up!!X

 

Last night we were glued to Corrie and good Billy boy vicar has revealed what we knew all along, that the good for nothing, sly looking wastrel is his Bruv.  Called Leigh or Lee and guess who found all this out?  YES! it was our new detective on the street, Mc Todd! We love him.  And luckily, to cheer Owner up, there is a dose of Corrie on tonight alongside Enders.  The last clip we spied from Enders had little Bobby freshly back from his private skool and wielding a hockey stick behind his Mum....X

 

Now do go on to enjoy your Thursdee folks wherever you are in your day.  It is warmish, cloudyish and alrightish here.  Big Love Wonka X

Ginger Tom

Who is that Wonka? this ginger tom...........
he is the star of my new spooky tale - which Owner can devote all her best time to, now that #Duffel is completed! and uploaded!

when she fell back through the good front door yesterdee laden with essentials (sacks of concrete I mean cat litter and boxes of best pouches.x) she reported up 'A FIND.'  What you meaning Owner I says back fully interested it being smack on tea time.

This, she says to me, and shows me a small but perfect stripey cat.
It is a pottery cat and I immediately loved it.  It will never get under my feet OR use the facilities OR eat my best biscuits:

 

There he is! And he is to live on the table UNLESS he tells us he wants to move elsewhere.  he has beauty green eyes, and Owner fell under his spell the minute she saw him, in the charity shop.  He was in the window and waited til Owner had debated whether or not to buy him (this took a matter of seconds,X) - then he was purchased and popped into Owner's pink work bag. end of and ginger tom fact up.X

 

He could be the luckiest ginger tom in the world alright our street I says to Owner.  He is enchanting, she replied.  And I do wonder folks, if he is....................X

 

As soon as Duffel and The Inheritance has finished converting itself into a PREMIUM online read, I will pop the link on here folks - but there is nothing DE RIEN to stop you from calling into smashwords.com and seeking it out.  It is a 'Wonka Story' (of course) and is another Wonka Presents! (oh yes and Owner's good name will be on it..............Madeleine Masterson.X)  As I say, if Owner gets a move on, there will more stories to read later in the year and if Austin Macauley (bestest publishers) get a move on there will be An Egyptian Tale out in print!!!X

 

Owner has talked of being exhausted but really folks I do wonder how because each time I turn round she is resting between jobs!!  Alright she has been hard at it invigilating those eager beavers with their exams this week and is up for some more in the morning.  I gave myself a pat on the back for NOT causing a disturbance in the night with Bertie Bubb, though Owner thinks she just slept through it.  I mean.X

 

Last night we had our hankies out for Peggee who took a few tablets to end her misery and got OUTTA HER PUB!  In Corrie we had a rest from Feelan and now it is vicar Billy who has a shady secret. We still love Todd, he is our hero and detective PLUS sells a good bunch of flowers.  Do enjoy your Wednesdee folks, we are half way through and listen to this! We have heard mention of a celebrity masterchef with beloved Gleb from Rusky Russia in it!! Or cup overfloweth! See you soon, Big Love Wonka X

Duffel Stories!

HURRAH! you all shout up to me!  IS THIS STORY ready??

Owner says it will go onto Smashwords.com today!

Wonka presents! Duffel and The Inheritance

and it will be the 22nd YES SIREE the 22nd story we have popped on there for you all to enjoy for free folks!! XX

 

 

There we are!  That is when Owner's Dad used to tell her and her bruv the Duffel stories!  And now Owner tells them, with a LOT of help from me folks................X

 

The latest Duffel story introduces a new and special creature, who Owner reports, turned up in the story unexpectedly.  WHAT DID SHE MEAN Wonka? you all ponder and wonder up......... Owner was writing away quite merrily and happily with me saying things like 'Get a move on Owner!' and 'I like that bit!' - yes, and suddenly this new character appears in the story just when you thought you knew what was to happen!  We love it and wait til you find out who it is!!XX

 

That is our BIG news for today folks, and just a small mention of Owner's hair which thanks to a million different hair products has finally gone righter than right. (I can relax now folks............X).  another small mention of our good and bestest agency which has secured (like that word up.x) more work for Owner despite our poor write up yesterdee......... and FINALLY we are back in love with Enders and Peggee GET OUTTA MA PUB Mitchell.  We have decided to cling onto for it for the entire week eVEN if Roxy and Foxy are in it, and Staycee too. DO DO DODODOOOOO!!X

 

Have a fantastic Duffel Story day! Big Love Wonka XX

Agencies!

Owner is an expert on agencies.  HOW MANY HAS SHE REGISTERED WITH Wonka? I've lost count.  One thing they all have in common (says Owner) is lying through their remaining teef.
 surely not Wonka! you all gasp up in astonishment.  here are a few examples according to my bestest Owner in the entire street.(I could have gone next door.....ONLY JOKING!X).

They say things like IT WILL ONLY TAKE A COUPLE OF WEEKS TO REGISTER YOU......months later when Owner has given up she does ring them....OH WE ARE WAITING FOR YOUR references they say.....then Owner rings up again and it is YES WE STILL WANT YOU!  Liars all she says to me....and sometimes she will say IS IT MY AGE?? Folks, if I were an agency I would snap her up! in a shake of my best biscuits.

 

There we are!!  The last good agency where Owner went to SELL herself.  If Marx were here Wonka, she droned to me, he would spin in his grave!!X

 

 

Owner also has a theory.  WHAT IS IT WONKA?  the more she enjoys the interview, the less likely she is to 1.  get the job 2. get registered to get a sniff of a job 3. get a phone call to say she is getting neither.X

 

 

Is there any good news Wonka? you all shout up to me now it is Mundee and all.  Listen up folks.  There are at least two reasons to celebrate like Queenie did at Windsor Castle last night (it was spectacular folks!  all those horseys dancing and prancing PLUS a little white one.  we loved it!) - IT IS NOT RAINING. as yet and

Owner has finished YES finished the latest Duffel story.  More on that tmro folks!  All that coaxing and dabbing at Owner with a little claw has paid off! End of and story fact up.X

 

Do enjoy your first day of the week and take a tip from me - do not under any circumstances take a real reading of your gas or electric AS ALL that will happen is you have a fit of nerves like Owner did just now.  DON'T READ THEM I whispered up as she shone the flashlight of the only mobile at the numbers. I CANNOT ring these in she murmured to me, in the dark now the light has gone out - or we will be in debt for evermore.  Personally folks I thought we were there already.............!!  And Bertie bubb thought the Vikings had invaded when he saw the light flashing.  (Rug is hardfast in his box in the shed and has to be coaxed out with expensive cat food.  I know.x)  Until next time, flex those credit cards folks!! Big Love Wonka X

Celebration Sundee!

What are we celebrating Wonka? you all wonder up.  IS IT UKRAINE WINNING the Eurovision Contest??

NEMAYE!! (which is NO in Ukrainian folks out there who do not speak one work of any other language but their own. and well done to them anyhow. X)

IS IT Owner being on a good mood setting? NON!

I KNOW! you have all suddenly remembered it is The Queen's 90th birthday celebration! NOT AGAIN! you all wonder up...
Listen up folks, if YOU were 90 you would want as many celebrations as you could get...and Ant n Dec are down at the castle (Windsor) with a load of others.  I said to Owner that has to be on our viewing list!XX

 

There we are!!  That was Owner's special cake on her big birthday folks - it was pink and spongey and creamy and yummy!  NO she wasn't 90!! yet!!! and it is alright Owner cannot hear me above watching Uncle Buck for the thrillionth time.  She loves it.X

 

What else is there to report above Ukraine singing it up and lots of nonsense about the EEEYEW??  I have had to have several naps today due to being up in the deep of the night checking on Bertie Bubb.  ALRIGHT I may have caused a small fracas (GET IN!!X) which then caused Owner to bob downstairs shouting WONKA! and then having to give the Bubster a good comforting stroke. Did she get back off to sleep Wonka? you all want to know.....eventually folks, yes she did!! anyhow, the meant a bit of catching up for me folks zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzOH!x

 

 

Tonight we are clutching onto the big birfdee bash and we may fit in Let's Do it which is a good tribute to Victoria Wood who is now in the next room kicking up a storm.  We love her.X

 

 

Are we ready for next week? Owner says she is ready to rock and basically I am hoping no praying that this positive mood setting keeps up.  In the meantime folks, enjoy your eve and sock it to them next week!! Big Love Wonka X

Eurovision!

At last!!! a whole night devoted to a load of songs from around the globe but called Europe!! ARE YOU WATCHING IT ALL Wonka? you all say to me full of wonder if I am.  It all depends on Owner as you know, she is very flighty when it comes to Satdee night viewing......... I'M GOING TO TRY IT she tells me up, and watch a bit of Brits got tons of talent too.  We sort of like the UK entry and have no idea what anyone else is singing.  SOME say that good ol Russia is fave - we cannot possibly agree or disagree as we have not heard it.  Good Luck to ALL!! X

 

 

There we are!  This was the year good Conchita won!! Owner cannot recall who won it last year and I said I would find out for all the folk who are hanging off their settees longing to know. IT WAS SWEDEN you silly billy Owner, and that Rusky song was second.X

 

The other burning question is did Owner capture any unsuspecting folks for her life coaching sesh and she says NON!  But she has remained very positive and keeps saying things like (quote):

I CAN LEARN from this Wonka AND I REALLY LIKED THE VENUE and IT HAS GIVEN ME CONFIDENCE Wonka.  I nearly said I told you so Owner (about the poor advert) but saved myself just in time as I had NOT had any teatime.XX

 

Ruggles seems to have recovered from his episode yesterdee when he coughed up his entire food rations for the day.  POOR RUG, said Owner which I thought was very generous of her.  Bertie has been out and about, stepping at least 3 yards from his igloo.  ME? thanks for asking, I have enjoyed a few well earned zzzzzzzz in my box, a touch of leaping up onto the windysill out front and out back and the usual checking in between.  We are all set for a quiet evening and I am hoping that Owner's mood remains steady as you go!  do enjoy your Eurovision folks and spare a little thought for Jack and Jill or whatever the names of our entry is!!

big Love Wonka X 



Testing Times

WHO IS BEING TESTED Wonka?

Year 7s, and possibly all else folks.  Everywhere you go there is an exam or a test.  Owner reports that her life is one long test and I did say you need to count your biscuits I mean blessings Owner but she was too busy rushing off to the good Skool for another gruelling day's work to hear me.X

 

 

There they are, whilst all outside is blossoming and lovely, those good year 7s are hard at it!x

 

 

Is Owner alright still? you all shout out nervous as it is Fridee 13th and lucky or unlucky for some.  She hates her hair (again) and I have said it looks beautiful (again), she thought she might get some tax back but on closer inspection thinks she won't (again).  This ALL to one side she is mostly alright on the mood setting.  Tomorrow folks is the big launch to her Life Coaching and I have high hopes for one or two curious folk looking in........who may have seen that advert.  YES it did improve once Owner changed the wording to include FREE and FUN in it.  Who knows I could be wrong (not usually.x)X

That thing just happened folks where this good diary is published even though I DID NOT WANT IT TO BE.  I am putting it all down to the day in question and we will say DE RIEN.  Tonight, Owner must crush in every programme she can -there is Peggee who is care worn and cancer ridden supported by her good for nuffink alcoholic son (Fil) there is Corrie X 2 with weddings and drug dealers cemented under Gail's best bedsit OH and it is the Invictus Games which we have cuddled up to all week we love it.X

Ruggles has just been pat and mick in the kitchen and Bertie has acted as if he is starving and been given more.ME? thanks for asking, I am warm enough in my box thanks to Owner shouting it was freezing the minute she flung back in and YES she is ignoring all those nasty emails saying it is time for a real meter reading.  OH NO IT Isn't she shouts at the screen.  I mean! Now do go on to have your bestest most cuddlesome eve and I will look in on you all tomorrow folks (in between comforting Owner.....X)  Big Love Wonka X

Out of the Blue Yonder

ARE YOU SAVED Wonka? you all ask up anxious that my best biscuits might be rationed what with Owner on the brink of the scrap heap.  SORT OF SAVED! I gladly tell you folks out there all concerned for ME alright and Bertie Bubb and Rugtug.X

Owner was going about her business nicely this morning, dishing up our breakfast and sorting out the facilities and generally making sure I WAS ALRIGHT plus the others................when BBBBRRRRNNNGGGGGG!!

It was the other and old and now bestest agency in the entire world alright just round here then, telling her there was a day's work AT her most fave skool.  BIG SIGH of relief all round folks!!X

 

There we are!!  IF I GET A SHOVE ON, droned Owner to the good education consultant Kevin who surely wasn't listening to owner after she said YES I WILL GO....If I get a shove on, I can be there for...............we all know it is senseless to say these things as you may as well say I WILL BE LATE by approx. 10 mins.  As she was.  End of and punctuality fact up.X

 

In other news....did her interview at the next best agency go well you are all on the edge of your boxes and igloos to know?  IT SEEMED to she said when she fell back in babbling about references and NI numbers and checking this that and how's your father.  Do they know Owner, I says to her (after I had had my tea) what they are letting themselves in for? but she didn't hear me above rushing upstairs to throw off her interview outfit and get comfy.X

 

Tonight, we can lay back exhausted and catch up with Enders and Peggee.  THEN, it is Invictus choiring and more hankees folks. IS THERE ANY REASON Wonka, Owner shouts up, why the miniscule button that turns the good tv on and off, has managed to fall into the tv set so that I cannot feel it at the side??  NO REASON except, it is that sort of day, week, month and year Owner I says back.  I did say is it wise to poke at it with a screwdriver but she didn't hear me above pressing the miniscule switch even though it is deep within the tv, and thankfully seeing a little red light.  THAT MEANS IT IS ON Wonka, she says full of being grateful for tv mercies.X

 

All else is just the same folks, Bertie has his claw stuck in the igloo and was quite rightly growling at it, Ruggles is on the step in the late sun and ME? thanks for asking I am ticketyBOOBOOs. See you all soon folks.  Big Love Wonka X

 

PS there is good neighbour news and if I remember I will tell all tomorrow.X I know.XX

 



Groundhogs!!

HALLOAH UP FOLKS now we are half way through this good week without OVERMUCH in it. 

BUT it is fair to note that somethings are repeating.LIKE WHAT Wonka? you all want to know as you think you are going round in circles.  First groundhog day thingy wotsit, is that the broken lock in the side gate has been fixed (again) and a new key is to be issued (again) and when the red van man (who fixed it) knocked on the door, Owner was busy on the phone to Inland Revenue (again).X

 

There we are!  That is our bestest household all muddling along in the same old dysfunctional way!X

WHAT ELSE IS repeating then you all wonder up?  Owner has spent a morning invigilating ANOTHER English exam.  This is a long exam for the students and even longer for the invigilators.X

And the third groundhog wotist, is that Owner had her hair done yesterdee by our fave hairdresser and was down the shops this aft, buying a different colour to swamp the first one with!!! I THOUGHT I LIKED IT Wonka, she went to me after she flung off to the chemist and back in what seemed like the speed of light. This folks is a rerun of our lives.....caught in an endless loop of work an taxes and locks and hair.  End of and groundhog fact up!X

In other lesser news, Owner is now happy with her current hair colour, that is, as of this minute.  She is due to set off to yet another interview (again) with another agency (again) for more interesting and well paid work (again)  you cannot accuse Owner of giving up, except if you are Me!! only joking!!!x

Finally, and AT LAST, she is nearing the end of our next Duffel and Sam story.  It is fun packed and full of exciting illustrations and if Owner gets on with it, might be on smashwords.com at the end of this week.  I know!!xx

Last night, due to Owner being dyed all the colours except the one she likes, we missed Enders.  This might be the one saving grace eh folks. Tonight we must cling to Corrie and The Invictus Games (hallo Americy!!x) (hallo everyone else!!x) and then go exhausted to our pits.  last night for some odd reason I decided to have a spat with Bertie in the deep of the night.  YES, I was told off but luckily Owner fell straight back into her anxiety ridden dreams!!X

Do enjoy your mid week Groundhog days folks, and if it has to be repeated make it bigger and better this time round! On your Whiskers!! Big Love Wonka X

Action Stations!!

NOW WHAT Wonka! you all chirp up to me full of beans now Mundee is out of the way.  Owner is taking positive action folks that is what is happening. I haven't done a list lately so here it is!!:
1.  She said to me yesterdee WONKA I MAY AS WELL CHECK FOR ANY JOBS.............. occasionally, she does a job search folks in case the perfect job is advertised and says PLEASE APPLY FOR THIS OWNER AS YOU WILL LIKE IT. IT PAYS YOU ALL YOU NEED and we will take you on tout suite.  (tick.x)

 

There we are!! It is like one of those recurring dreams folks!! It happens over and over.................X

2.  She did a new and FUN poster for her forthcoming life coaching sesh (owner said not to use that word it is silly but I like it, end of.x) and trotted into the venue (ooer!) and had it changed by a nice young man who unpinned the one that no one would notice if it was the only poster to be noticed, and popped the GOOD ONE back on.(huge tick.x)

3.  She has only mentioned owing millions of pounds alright a few and how will it ever be repaid once or twice folks.  The credit card is holding up nicely and cannot be blamed.  She did tell of a well used saying: GET EVEN DIE IN DEBT and used to have this on a badge or a postcard.  How about, I says to her, just getting even and missing off the dying bit? but she didn't hear me above applying for that perfect job.  YES, there was a half decent job and she is to register with the Agency.  DID YOU SAY AGENCY Wonka? you all say fairly worried as agencies can be worrying.  It is alright though as Owner is known to them!! ( I know.X)

Who knows folks, it might keep us in best biscuits eh.  WHEN IS THE INTERVIEW Wonka? it is not an interview or Owner will stand no chance of getting it!! it is to register. AT EASE Folks!! And blow me down the stairs, if she didn't get a shout for work from the current best agency for the same day.  She is to invigilate in the morning and register in the afternoon!! I do like to see Owner busy folks, as it saves her from a full on worry wart sesh!!X

Guess what?  NO that is not it, in Enders, Peggee Mitchell has come back to SORT IT or die in debt one of those.  Fil and his bruv who has not been in Enders for many a long year, Grant, will have their work cut out sorting it back!  Owner says she may watch it as long as Roxy, Foxy and whoever that new and strange man is doesn't get on her nerve.  There is Crème de la Crème to save us and our new fave Benoit.  he is French and we love him.X

Bertie has had a dreamie biscuit to make him happy as if his days aren't full of happiness already, and I was told off for looking at him. I mean.  Ruggles played nicely out back with a dead plant for a while throwing it up and down, and then did a nice bunt (it is called that folks when we rub ourselves against things.  I do it all the time indoors, mostly against the good sideboard or trunk.  Scratching is a different thing and I mustn't,says Owner.X) - he did a nice bunt up against Baba's Buddleia before retiring to the luxury shed.  Today is hairdo day for Owner, and I tend to keep a low profile until Owner says how much she likes it...............X

Have a splendid bunting day yourselves folks! and be active stations! Big Love Wonka !X

Cherry Blossom Time!

Where have I heard that before, droned Owner to me, when I announced the name of this good diary entry. (all else call it a BLOG. I am an old-fashioned cat though.end of.X)

IS IT FROM A SONG Owner? I kindly replied as she is at a loose end OR the scrap heap. NOT A SONG Wonka, she goes back...IS IT A FILM then, I continued only slightly losing patience now........

I THINK IT IS FROM A BOOK she finally told me.  OH I says.

And folks, it is from good Mary Poppins who as all know went to look after the children Jane and Michael Banks and the twins. Who all lived at no 17 Cherry Tree Ave. ah......any moment now Owner will break into song, or maybe a small tapdance......X

 

 

 

There we are!!  that is our good Cherry Tree coming up with a little bit of white blossom folks.....one minute it looked like a bunch of twigs and the next it sprouted a load of shoots, then leaves and now blossom!!! and it stands guard over the kennel that no one not even Rugglesis is sitting in.  I ask you.X

 

 

What else is there to talk about Wonka? you all wonder up it being the start of a new week and all.  Owner has even come out of her anxiety ridden mood setting over the horrid accounts. NOW she is on an anxiety setting about her forthcoming venture this Satdee. and that folks is her free life coaching session.  YES, she has a pack thingy wotsit YES she has a room booked YES she is taking sweets.  But here's the thing folks - she went into the venue the other day and said (I am quoting.x) Wonka, I would have walked straight past my advert it is silly and non consequential (need a lie down after that word up folks!x).

The answer folks is this:  Owner I says, you must DO A BETTER ADVERT and be quick about it.  I have set her the task with some new coloured paper to make her advert STAND OUT and best to mention things like it is FREE and FUN at the start. With another big mention for REFRESHMENTS.  don't mention work or having to think Owner, I begged her.  I did.  You all know folks, how NO ONE wants to do any work these days, or make any effort to get anything.... it must seem Owner, I finally advised, like a doddle.

(like that word and may use again.x) end of Life coaching sermon.for now.X

 

 

In other lesser news, we hugged up to the Durrells and it was the last one BUT it is coming back unlike our other big fave of the year Dickensian, which isn't.  Tonight it is double corrie with nasty Feelan fooling everyone except Saint Todd who is just looking out for his Bruv.  We wish Carling brown eyebrows would hurry up and be this good wifey to Nick but we know that cannot be...IF Owner wants to let off steam I may suggest 5 mins of Enders.  JUST 5 mins, as the sight of Roxy and foxy those sisterly sisters was enough to send the mood setting twice round folks!X

 

Ruggles has snugged in his new second home the luxury shed and Bertie is deep in his igloo. ME? thanks for asking, I had to nip upstairs earlier as the monster was plugged in down below.  How inconsiderate Owner I said but she couldn't hear me above dragging the monster back and forth. do have a chipper start to your Mundee folks and keep smiling in the face of!  big Love Wonka X

World Donkey Day!

Yes Folks, everyone and everything has its day (not just dogs you know.X) and today is given over to those beauties!  Owner could drone on about them all day long and has plenty of snaps from the beach.  donkeys standing on it, trotting along with little people on it, leaving it, going to it............and then, wherever you turn round in our good house, you will see a donkey on your travels.  Here is one of them:

 

There he is!! this little fellow was bought by Owner, when she lived by the sea in sunny Clacton-on-sea! From a tiny junk shop. He lives in our bathroom BUT for this occasion was allowed out.  In the back, that is Tinkerbelle (carved by Owner's Dad, who is now in wood carving heaven.X) there is a little green rabbit, Father Christmas (he lives there all year round. and why not we love him.) there is another donkey, made of china or if not it wants to be, and FINALLY there is the Plymouth pony.  Owner had to buy him for far too much money when she went down there the other year.  I could not advise her to curb her spending as I wasn't there folks!!!X

 

Owner has slept in two days in a row and I blame all that horrid accounting.  Money is the root of all poor nights sleep I tell you.  I think it is, but I can tell you know, the second my furry head touches the luxury carpet under Owner's bed, I am in the land of nod folks. I mean all that chasing I mean checking up on Bertie and paw under the door with Ruggles (when he comes home from the luxury shed.x) it is tiring.X

 

To celebrate this good Donkey day I have insisted that Owner takes a little time out from horrid accounting to wander down North Bay and have an ice cream.  I AM NOT A BIG FAN OF ICE CREAM she droned to me, but she may park up and get some of that beauty sea sparkle in her eyeline. Whilst she is out and about, I can have my siesta folks zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH!X

 

Last night we clung on to a little bit of entertainment but it was mostly Simon Ghoul I mean Cowell pressing his buzzer early and Dave Wallyams shielding his eyes from the acts.  Casualtee introduced a new person who is a doctor we think, and Zoeey has flung off to Michegan.  I know.  I DON'T GET OFFERED JOBS IN EXCITING PLACES moaned Owner to me, and I did say you don't get offered any jobs at all, but luckily she didn't hear me above battening down the hatches for the night.X

 

Tonight we will try and watch all things at once, that is The Durrells HUGE TICK, The Baftas HALF A TICK and to keep Owner from falling too low on the mood settings that nice Home Fires thing on ITV about war torn Britain.  We love it.  have a peaceful and calm furry day to yourselves folks and a good week ahead! Big Love Wonka X



Ping Moments!

Sometimes folks, when you are grappling or wrestling OR struggling with a problem, you suddenly go PING!! and there is a new way of looking at it.  Owner thinks that in some other deep down layer, the problem is being sorted out, and then, like a creature coming up to the surface from the sea bed, it surfaces as
THE ANSWER. Blimey Owner, I said, have you been reading your C G Jung books again............x

 

There we are!!  Going round and round with her £s prob, Owner suddenly reckoned on an answer.  BUT WAS IT? you all shout up hale and hearty now it is the good weekend.  Actually folks, it wasn't!! but is just shows you how given a little problem, the mind will do a pretty good search for the answer.  The thing is, once Owner thought she had the answer, it helped her sort it out. SHOULD YOU BE A FULL-TIME ADVISER Wonka? you all say full of wonder at my insights.  Between looking after Owner, checking on Bertie and keeping a good eye on Ruggles, there isn't time folks, but thanks for your big vote in my favour!!XX

 

 

In other lesser news, yesterdee was a half decent day, with Owner returning from all her financial wrestling with some real chick (sorry chick!x).  Me?  thanks for asking, I can take it or leave it and have been known to prefer pretend 'good as it seems' chick.  Ruggles though can be enticed in from the luxury shed at the slightest snipping and slicing sounds from Owner cutting up said real chick.  Jealous? Me?  not one furry bit of it!!  And Bertie as you know is constantly on the look out for food and doesn't need any encouragement.  IS HE LOSING ANY WEIGHT Wonka? NO. De Rien.  Nimic. X

 

Our fave Jane, is the new Masterchef Champ, and they all gave each other a giant hug (Jack and Billy.x) it was brill. Tonight we must sit through more lots of talent with Brits got Talent, and then Casualtee.  There is a new consultant it says in the good write up, and we can only hope that Connie gets on with her or him. And that nurse who is getting on Owner's nerve doesn't have a big storyline this week...........X

 

Do go off out there in the sunnyshine and freshen up your fur folks! Until later, Big Love Wonka X