And then there were three! X

THREE WHAT Wonka??  folks I have said time and time again getting another Cat is not the answer.  It is not the answer to Owner's financial tissues, (it will in fact make them 5067398*** times worse.X) to the failed work situation (no one wants Owner to do anything anywhere anytime....x) to her vaguely ticking over just about arty enterprise (she has barely sold a card,  I know.X) or that feeling of despair she gets every other dustbin day.  it certainly will not excuse her from shouting two words at the woman driver who mistakenly ( I think it was, Owner doesn't) was driving towards her in the wrong lane having overtaken a stationery lorry on her side of the road when it was clearly OWNER'S RIGHT OF WAY.  Apparently Owner whispered how sorry she was to the passenger which was aged sibling and said perhaps she should not have shouted like that.  Even if it was HeR right of way.X

 

There it is!! that scruffy black scrap in the carrier!! and right next to it is the green rattle mousey that ME yes ME Wonka said she could have. XX

So here we are folks, you are in the picture IN DA FRAME!! Owner is stressed to the gunnels, poverty stricken and has no knowledge of the next measly piece of work when she pops out and adopts a scruffy offa farm Kit called Squeak.  It is a girlie Kit and has been given the full history of ME and Daddy Ruggles (his new name to make him sound friendly.) ME? thanks for asking, I have introduced myself by hissing, pinching her dreamies (twice. very proud) and basically keeping my distance. It - Squeaky has an entire study room to itself and has so far been pat and mick and lucy locket.  I KNOW it was the worm tablet but for a small scrap it was a powerful atmosphere for a while....................X

There is barely any other news to report as the entire week has been devoted to before Squeak, during Squeak and apres Squeak.  AND Owner says it was nice of me to donate my green mouse with the rattle inside and a feather for a tail to her...........and Daddy Ruggle said it was alright for her to be carted home in the cat carrier with his best Christmas Tea Towel inside.  Which she is still snuggling on AND sitting on my mousey.XX

What else has NOT happened in our houseyhold.  Owner is still missing all those cousins and wonderin when she will see them again.  If you saw them all the time Owner, I said helpfully (I thought I was being helpful....X) then you would probably want them all to go away and give you 5 mins peace..... but I did whisper it from behind the heavy blue curtain that shields the back door from draughts and anything else wanting to creep in.... so she may not have heard me.  anyhow it has been a week full of aged parent and sibling wotnots with a little bit of Owner sprinkled around that. She struggled home with two tones of cat litter and kitten food AND another hanging basket for the pigeons to stand in and eat birdseed out of.  I mean. X

Do I want a flu jab Wonka? Owner droned to me...folks of all the things Owner needs that IS NOT on the list.  Money, flowers, chocolates, more money BUT NO flue jabs thank you and bon nuit.XX

In the increasingly silly old world of pollytics all is at sea where you have comics advising us on the borders (we love you Patrick Kielty) and comics saying they are NOT going to run for Prime Minister (clown Boris) and that clown of clowns across the ocean saying whatever comes into his head to say.  jezzer wore his best and may I say oversized jacket to the conference thing and everyone well almost everyone hung on his every mumble. I haven't mentioned Tresa Grey and I'm not going to.XX

 

There we are!! That is me and da Ruggles with our mouses!!XX

 

 

On the telly box we managed to watch everything and its grandmother.  HAVE I CAUGHT UP WITH ALL THOSE MISSED PROGS droned Owner whilst watching them all.  My answer was drowned out by Owner clicking round another prog.  Our fave has to be the Hex Factor which is outdoing itself this year and tonight TONIGHT it is the musical chair fiasco which me and Owner LOVE....  In corrie people are overdosing sleeping with friends and marrying others, lying, meeting folk in the BAT association (roy who else) and not to forget or downplay Christian Billy standing up to non Christian David and failing!!  and who suffers out of that? blind Josh does that is who.XX

 

Folks, next week could be the week that starts a whole new adventure!! sieze it by the tail and hold on and GO FUR IT!!

Big Love Wonka XX

 

Keep on Keeping ON X

HAVE YOU GOT THERE WONKA? you all whisper up concerned and anxious as the worrywarts you all are..........
when everything goes (list)
1.  funny not haha
2.  will not act like it usually does, or has done for at least the past 5 years or more.
3. makes you question your mental capacity especially if it involves a computer.
4. tells you your BLOG your bestest BLOG your ONLY blog has been lost comes up as an error page or after all this time is just NOT there.  This folks is when you must keep on keeping on.
Even Owner nearly threw the towel in and you know how she loves to get to the bottom of things TOOT SWEET.  I mean.
Luckily we went round and round in a circle of strange instructions until suddenly Owner found this page and made me start my diary early (it is only thursdee X) incase it does vanish again down a error page hole.  X

 

There I am!! Looking very relaxed if I may say so AND a weensy bit ZEN - Owner could take a leaf out my book here and I did whisper this but from well behind the door upstairs whilst she was boiling the kettle, so she may not have heard me..X

 

 

Howdy up folks and guess what! NO that is not it, but the strange error messaging wotsit has vanished and all is calm once more. POURQUOI or something very like that you all shout at me?  Who knows - Owner is still in a good mood due to all those cousins visiting AND I showed myself off rather, rolling round on the ground near to them, engaging with them ONLY scratching out once by accident when I thought instead of a stroke they were going to tap me - STOP IT Wonka said Owner!! Ruggles you say?  He was quite brave really considering the constant trooping of cousins back and forth admiring him from round doorways and such like.  AH ISN'T HE LOVELY they all went.  Jealous? MOI?? not a bit of it. I love Ruggles most of the time.  From a distance.  and when he is not eating any more than I am.  End of.X

 



 

there we are!! It's those pesky downing street cats all witness to the pollytics that are driving us all over that cliff.  Tresa Grey has been standing on a box going on about standing firm (?) and all else are making fun of that.  QUITE RIGHT TOO shouts Owner every time she hears that word Blastit.  Vinnie has delivered a big speech at a conference before catching a train home on about how we can do this and do that and reverse the process and as for Jezzer he is laying low we think NOT down on the allotment which may be water logged and wind swept but we think he is now in his shed on the very same allotment reading comics.  This is surely the basis of all his policies says Owner who drones on all the time about the demise of the left.  I mean. Donwald the Trump is as orange as before and just as clownish and no change there.X

 

We have managed to keep up with Corrie folks but little else and Sally has been remanded in custardy!!! it is all horrid Imran's doing and we hate him just for now.  Petah Barlow is fed up with his lot and thinks he is getting it in the neck from all sides and maybe he is whilst Carling Black eyebrows is big boss.  There is a new and annoying character playing about at being Tryone's Granny and Owner says she is an imposter.  Seeing as Owner can spot this kind of thing blindfolded and kept in a dark cellar watch this space for more folks.  Strictly starts tomorrow night and we are on it.  Owner now has a proper tea pot for one with a hand made knitted no crocheted tea cosy on it!! This will perch on a tray ready to pour the second DO DO DO DOOO DO DO DOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Folks it has been a life changing week this week with both the ageds on the move like grand elephants moving from one water hole to the next - Owner has new cousins to think about and talk to and ME? thanks for asking - it is nice to have a bit of peace and quiet but I quite enjoyed all the excitement really.  Have a good weekend to yourselves, batten down those hatches if the wind gets up and watch wall to wall telly like we are!! big Love Wonka XX



Birthday Madness!!

IS OWNER STILL CELEBRATING? You all shout at me thinking WHERE HAS WONKA BEEN?? X 

 

There we are from all those other (hundreds X) of birthday celebrations EXCEPT this was a really BIG one as you all know.XX

 

Just in case you thought I was asleep (well it has been tiring keeping Owner going and that....... she is not used to such a social whirligig. X) or hiding under the red settee that is a library due to being propped up with loads of books...........OR just forgotten! NOT A BIT OF IT - I have just been busy supervising it all round the clock folks - first up with one set of cousins arriving from Hagley, then the other set of cousins from Bury, then another lone cousin from Edinburgh AND another partner of a cousin too.........it has been non stop arrivings and departures here!! AND, Owner has loved every last second.  This is where she has been TWICE for a huge bowl of knock out VEGAN pasta.

 

 



 

There we are and YES it is Florios Pizzeria in good and sunny if not very very blustery Scarborough - she loves it there.XX

 

So folks aside from the fact Owner has no work in sight (the good agency did call with a possible job that vanished off once it found out it was not a job after all.X) and the credit card thinks it is Christmas, all is well and good - the final set of cousins are due to depart on Fridee so hankies out folks and luckily it is a Strictly weekend AND Owner has a fab new teapot to use whilst we are watching it courtesy of cousin Liz....  there is a cartoon of this to follow folks and as long as I have the energy come Satdee I will being you MORE news and gossip PLUS all the Blastit shenanigans of which there are many...........XX

 

Until then, Big Love Wonka AND batten down your fur and whiskers folks as it is Extra Blowy. XX

Strictly Wonka!! X

NOW WHAT YOU ALL SHOUT AT ME AND SAY - WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT WONKA!!!

Folks it is nearly upon us, the NEW Strictly come dancing of 2018!!!   HAVE YOU PICKED FAVES YET??
NON, NYET, NO and NO SIREE....................

We are waiting, me and Owner to peruse (good use of word) the new celebs and see WHO they are matched up with.  We love a comedian (if there is one) we love a tryer (that is nearly all of them) but most of all...............YES WONKA!! Most of all we love an underdog folks.  here is a little reminder of last year in all its glory.

 

There they are!! Tis Davood and the lovely Nadiya.  We loved them lots UNTIL those pesky judges saw them offski........Will it be just as good this year folks?? We will be stuck like glue to it and will report back next satdee.  XX

 

 

Silly old Jezzer is chiming and chirping up and so is his pal Johnnie go lightly. WHY IS THAT WONKA?? they are both pretending that all is rosy and democratic in the party we are still loosely calling Labour.  Owner is sniffing and snorting and says Jezzer is just a social activist mucking about on his allotment.  End of.  WILL THE PARTY SPLIT Wonka? you all ask, all serious now and wanting to know where to cast your next spell I mean vote.  There was a murmur (hard no difficult word to spell X) of a new party forming from all the other folk who are fed up with argy bargy and BLASTIT in all the parties - IF by a miracle this lot form a party Owner droned to me - then she will cast her spell at it.  End of.  I don't want to mention Donwald the Trump and his lie detectors and I'm not going to. X

 

Has it been a good week you all wonder up getting ready for a storm of situations and complaints flying round.  IT HAS BEEN AS PER USUAL stated Owner when I asked this from well behind the red settee that is propped up on so many books I am referring to it now as mine and Rugglesis library.  As per usual folks, means up down and call me crazy.  Owner has made endless cups of tea in between emailing, messaging, falling out and falling back in again with close relatives.  I mean.  NO WORK has coughed up and again I worry folks that we will starve but for the saintly credit card and I know it goes against ALL ADVICE but folks without this wondrous card WE WOULD STARVE, XX

 

Has Owner done anything worthwhile this week Wonka? you all query up and wonder.  she is to appear at another craft event after she has found a mere £35 to fund it.  I know.  it would be helpful if someone bought a few bits and bobs from mumsteds to put towards it really BUT I have faith in those bears..................XX

 

There they are!! the sketch Owner did of daughter's best teds whilst in Helmond.  We love them!!  The next event is a North Yorkshire Etsy event (Owner has a tiny miniscule shop on Etsy called mumsteds) and will be at the Royal Hotel in Scarborough come the December 1!!! A Satdee we think.  I am going to make sure folks she goes to this brimming and choc full of confidence!! X

 

Me? THANKS FOR ASKING I am sugar dandy and looking forward to some big no HUGE Birfdee celebrations next weekend when lots of relatives descend to celebrate with best Owner.  Ruggles will hide in the library I spoke of, but I may well come out of hiding and meet and greet, AND display my giant tea cosy of a tummy!! I love it.X

 

Tellybelly wise we still have lots of catching up to do folks but have watched enough Enders to know that Staycee could not have shot thingie as there was not one glimpse of her.  There was a lot of glimpses of Shirlee looking wretched ( no change there) and Shazzer looking huge swathed in a curtain and dallying with thingie from the garage thingie.  Corrie has seen the return of Big Jim who is Liz's ex and every bit the gentleman................XX

 

Now folks IT IS TIME for the launch of this year's Strictly so I must away!!  As for next week folks you must Razzle Dazzle and Snazzle you way through it!! Big Love Wonka XXXX

 





Back TUIT !!

WONKA !! WHAT IS A TUIT?? You all mumble up from underneath a stack of blankets now that autumn is nearly here......... a TUIT means having to returnez vous to anything you were doing before you stopped doing it. 
FOR EXAMPLE: Owner stopped annoying lots of pesky students when the Skools helpfully broke up for the Summer hols - thus SHE COULD NO LONGER interfere in their sorry lives.  BUT, as they all flood back through the Skool gates and wotnot this week AND some have already done this I know - Owner might get a call from the Agency sending her back TUIT.XX

 

There we are!!! this is Ruggles getting back TUIT in the littleoutback folks - the minute the back door opens is he off out to explore and then lay down for some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

 

YES Owner came back TUIT from her little jaunt around the continent folks, speeding through Brussels (where the Eurostar ground to a halt and let folks off), and then from Belgium into the Netherlands!!  She did tell me lots of exciting stories from her travels WE MISSED THE EUROSTAR COMING BACK Wonka.....(but got the next one) WE WENT ROUND A WAR MUSEUM Wonka - with loads of americy tanks and planes and machinery PLUS tales of the Dutch Resistance!! In OVERLOON - there were lots more tales and stories but I may have temporarily zzzzzzzzzzzzzz and woken up to hear the end of it- AND I LEARNT HOW TO SAY Thankyou in Dutch she says all proud and everything - but she said she was too shy to actually say it and all she could recall in the end was her French.  YOU DID LEARN THAT FOR FIVE YEARS solid I says up to her, in fact SACRE BLEU!!!! X

 

 

Now she is back home, there is no resting up as each time I go for a little snoozle is she there before me in a whirligig of action - hovering here, dusting there, moving an entire room round there and the tape measure folks, that is seeing a lot of measuring up I can tell you.  AND she has been bitten by a pesky mosquito and had to buy that cream AND remember not to scratch the spots.  XX

 



 

HERE WE ARE!! That is Peggy from daughter's homeo in the nether netherlands in Helmond!!  she is spoilt rotten and is always back TUIT whether that is chasing string in the garden, inspecting under beds up above or clambering up the fencing GET DOWN NOW PEGGY!!! We love her from across that channel.XX

 

It is hard to avoid pollytics wherever you are in the world folks and just because Owner has skipped across a few countries she has come back armed with information:  Tresa Grey can't dance TICK Jezzer continues on as a martyr to his labour party in his spare time, devoting most of it to the allotment TICK Vinnie - disappeared into the depths of his own party TICK the others? a complete mystery TICK some more.  Donwald the Trump after upsetting lots of English Scottish and Welsh folks is set to upset the ones he left out that is the Irish people.  Only they know what they will do to welcome him and there are enough mad, fairy, magical spell casters to do it.X

 

On the telly Owner has tried to catch up and failed.  I FELL ASLEEP WATCHING CORRIE she tells me as she stumbles up to bed the other night.  It seems that, henry has mucked it all up with Gemma and left in a car with some posh heavies, Carling black eyebrows having exhausted all her other options in the street is thinking of hooking back up with Peetah who is now running the factory AND getting threatened by the big lads who are after Symon.  There are other stories bobbing around and owner has had enough of the one where Mary's son thingy is trying to renew his wedding vows with the other thingy.  To quote Tracee who aside from being a killer is pretty smart 'IT HAS DISASTER WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.' - Masterchef was missed and so was Age before Beauty and now folks, (big roll on those drums) the HEX Faktor is back tonight and tomorrow so more telly dilemmas coming up a Owner tries to fit it all in with her busy whirligig life.XX

 

Beyond running the aged sibling and parent show (both, like Aslan are on the move), considering returning BACK TUIT with those students AND having yet another birfdee (birfdee season is nigh) there is nothing much DE RIEN as I like to say, happening up.  ME? thanks for asking, well I have received a reminder that my costly yearly booster is nearby AND whilst Owner has tried to check my weight, shaming me by calling me names like THE SIDE OF A HOUSE, and a GIANT TEACOSY - I am proud to say I remain a good sized solid cat.  Ruggles barely missed Owner as he was spoilt rotten by our bestest cat sitter this side of the channel.  if he wouldn't eat it, he was instantly offered something else.  Or chicken (SORRY CHICKEN X).

 

Do go onto have the best week you have ever experienced and we will all try here to do the same.  Brush you fur, flutter those big eyes and BACK TUIT!!  big Love Wonka XX