Lucky Jupiter!!

It has transpired (OOOHH) and according to our beloved and best astrologer Russell Grant...........
YES? you all shout up being wide awake and wanting some starry talk.

That LUCKY JUPITER is doing something in Virgo for 12 months. AND it only happens once every 12 years. Fact. X

 

 

How lucky is that!! what with Owner being a fully paid up Virgo person.  HOWCOME I quizzed up, it being touch down for a snack, that you are a Virgo Owner?? I WAS BORN IN SEPTEMBER she goes.  Me? thanks for asking and we don't know that because when I turned up on Owner's doorstep ready to jump into the living room uninvited, we weren't sure. Could be Virgo, might not.x

 

Where is all this luck then?  List:

1.  Owner parked up in a minute space without hitting the car behind AND in the dark and pouring rain with all cars having to wait and fed up about it. (TICK)

 

2. Eaten the last bag of Christmas sweets and now there is no more (TICK)

 

3, Resolved not to drink (minuscule thimble of red vino) eat sweets, or toffee popcorn (TICK)

 

But here folks is the real lucky story of yesterdee.  make yourself a cup of tea and sit down for this one:

 

When Owner stumbled back in from that park up of park ups, she found a little postcard on the mat from the good Royal Mail declaring it had tried to deliver a parcel, but failed. BUT YOU WERE OUT, it accused Owner. And it is now settled back down in the sorting office (for you to trudge along and collect,)

 

Usually folks, this would provoke a full on mood setting of around 6 - 7.  BUT. When Owner scrutinised the card (I know. very proud,x) she saw it was addressed to a mystery person,  and the very same parcel had been delivered before Christmas and taken in by Owner! Then what? I says in that caring and helpful way.

 

THEN Wonka, I made a huge effort and wrote all over it NOT KNOWN at this address and then trudged to town, to the sorting office and returned it, saying: I HOPE IT WILL NOT BE REDELIVERED to me again. And the nice assistant said not.

 

Despite all this and Owner droning on blow us down if some poor postie hadn't tried to bring it back!! Is it a boomerang? (hallo Aussie person!!!x) Owner says it might be as it was the right shaped parcel for one.  BUT the lucky thing is, that Owner was out and now the silly old sausage of a boomerang parcel is back at the sorting office! again!!

 

And Owner couldn't collect it if she wanted to as she is NOT the person it is meant for.  Will it ever find its rightful Owner Owner?

 

THEY SHOULD BE SO LUCKY Wonka, she tells me back.X

 

 

So we think, Russell may be right and that our luck has finally started to dribble through.  Today is another sopping wet and dark day and we must go steady out there.  Well Owner must.  I will be having a few zzzzzzzzzzzz like Bertie and Rug.  They are fast over.

 

Be brave, and be lucky!! May Jupiter and its two moons (Owner says up the other one is Europa. oh.x) be with you all day. 

Big Love Wonka X  Ps Stacee has gone mad in Enders, and that baby is getting right on Owner's nerve.x

 



What Diet?!

There is the poverty stricken diet, there is the health conscious diet, there is famous see food and eat it diet - but is there a Bertie Bubb diet???  THERE IS NOW folks.

WHAT IS IT you all mumble to me on this dark and rain soaked morn.

It consists of Owner carefully measuring out his biscuits in this plastic container with a marker on it.  TO TELL me when to stop, she droned to me.  Then, she carefully gives him a bit of best and very expensive Sheba - I HAVE CUT BACK she tells me up, and then, she adds some dreamies to his portion.  This folks, is Bertie Bubb's special diet.  Is he alright on it, you all want to know as one.
HE KNOWS NO DIFFERENT as far as I can tell.  I have sniffed at his biscuits and looked in at him with the usual anti social response.x

 

 

There we are! I am on a sort of a diet where Owner tries to cut my portions down and fails. ALRIGHT Wonka she goes when I roll over and show off my best furry tummy. and yes, it is a good round tummy. We all need ballast folks for when times get rough.  Now Ruggles you all wonder up, what of him? He must not go on a strict diet, she declares to me.  WHY is that I said full of jealousy but then quickly going back to my usual benign and caring self.

 

HE HAS HAD A HARD GO of it Wonka.  personally, I could apply this to myself, what with having to accommodate (Need a lie down now) Owner's mood setting from zero to ten in minus T seconds......... but there we are folks! Is Owner on a diet you all finally quiz up?  The same kind as us.  It varies depending on (list)

 

1.  the weather (so dreary we need more biscuits)

2.  It is January (too terrible to talk on. more food needed)

3. Being on the scrap heap(best not to mention and have another choc lime Owner.x)

 

There are more but...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH!!!

 

Now last night we clung onto Enders and it is no use, Staceee has taken over from Carol in the annoyance stakes.  Owner cannot stand it much longer expecially now there is a real (is it real?) babee strapped onto her PLUS like the entire cast of Enders she has inherited a long lost sibling. next we clung to Holbee and the culmination (blimey.) of a simmering love affair. It had all the passion of open heart surgery droned Owner to me, and waking me up I have to say.  tonight there is Dickensian with or without bullseye and Corrie.  That folks is enough said. X

 

If you are on a diet, I am saying stop it now and just enjoy yourself for the whole day. I fully intend to do this but I cannot speak for Owner (X). As per, big Love Wonka X

 



No More Shepherd's Pie.!

What? kgtblsytf,zpzcgt!!!!! says you folk out there all surviving on scraps and left overs and make overs and listening to all those annoying adverts (Owner shouts at them.end of and Fact.x) that tell you TELL you what to do with your bits and bobs all standing alone and proud in the fridge.  OR the cupboard OR if you are a million years old (like Owner. only joking!x) the larder.

BUT IN THIS HOUSE..........................

 

No more searing hot potato and unidentified veg!!!!  It is vanquished. (I know. Ver proud.x)

 

What now then Wonka?  How so and such like....... now that Owner is well and truly on the scrap heap of 2016 I must try harder to get her up and doing!!! So far, she has answered the three in ten on Popmaster which is an institution here folks run by Ken Bruce on good Radio 2.  I was happily dozing zzzzzzzzzzzz and then I hear her shout up sounding all self important saying she got three hits by Frankie Goes to Hollywood within ten seconds.  I mean.  any fool knows that one............X

 

The news is all dark and drear like the persistent rain outside folks. We don't like Dave and his party OR free wheeling or voting or that. AND this chappie who has been sacked from nice Jezzer's party sez up (and I quote) happi new year to Jezzer! rightio.x

 

There is de rien to eat and de rien on the telly PLUS Owner has taken down all the pretty lights. It really is the end folks. What? Oh yes a little update on Owner and the puppy from yesterdee.  Due to her persistent (I have used it once and I like it so.) emailing and visiting and accruing (BLIMEY) facts, although the RSPCA don't think it is a priority (after three emails. yes.x) Owner did prioritise it and the puppy is no longer crying PLUS, there is a good neighbour on the case too.  happy endings. x

 

Be like Owner, for once, and stay on the case!  and like me, bristle up those whiskers and sharpen a claw for Tuesdee! Big Love Wonka X



Down Under Mundee!

Owner has had a poor night and NOT just because it is silly old Mundee AND all the bills that would get here if the entire world were flooded are here AND there was a risk of a shout for werk.

THAT POOR DOG IS CRYING Wonka, she says to me at smack on 11 30pm when I was just settling down for a good bout with Bertie or a good stare at him at the least. End of.

It turns out that Owner aka M is investigating a dodgy residence with lots of animals who, she  reports up, are not happy.  Now you know me, seagulls TICK, infact all birds TICK, but dogs??? I mean.  So I had to put up with an all night worrywart and it has continued to this good morn.x

 

 

There we are!!  It is Sam from our Duffel stories, and he was as happy as a lark - which is what all dogs should be. X

 

 

With Owner on the case I see nothing else but a good result folks, and she is revving up for more investigations. YES, she rang that well known organisation but could not get on with Jack who took her call.  HE TOLD ME TO LET HIM SPEAK ~Wonka she tells me when she had hung up on him.  I did say, I have the same problem sometimes Owner but she didn't hear me above telling me what to do. X (love you Owner. x)

 

 

Now what is all this Down Under business you all whisper up to me, it being Mundee morn.  Owner is proud to report, on her sleuthing duties (I have outdone myself and I know it.x) that we have ONE visitor from Aussie land.  Is it your Aunty, the one you don't get on with who lives in Brisbane Owner I says up, helpfully.

 

I DON'T KNOW she drones back to me smiling.  She is ever hopeful my Owner I will say that.x

 

 

We will keep you updated and I would say in the loop but Owner hates that expression so I will say posted instead about said pupster.  Do go on to have a good down under day yourselves, and it will soon be over!!! Big Love Wonka X

 

 

 

 

Shepherds Pie Sundee!

Will it go on and on this pie then I says up to Owner, when she finally tucked in.
AT LEAST ANOTHER DAY OR SO Wonka, she said to me.  Because she is not used to piping hot mashed potato that would not have passed a test for lumpiness from Gregg OR Marcus Scaring - she may have burnt her mouth. OH DEAR I went full of sympathy in case I didn't get a morsel or two for supper. I must try hard not to say and what is for tea Owner.............x

Meanwhile, Bertie is still on his diet and I did say should he be drinking that amount of water and Owner said the usual which is 'I can't worry about that now Wonka.'  Ruggles has been prevented from more scrapping by the original idea of KEEPIN HIM IN after 8 pm at night.  yes. x

 

 

Here he is!! You thought we were making Bertie up (hard to make a cat like that up.x) but here is a brief glimpse of him returning to the Narnia cupboard straight from his water hole and trough of biscuits. has he lost any weight you all wonder up. NOT YET.x

 

Yesterdee passed in a sensible fashion and I have high hopes for today if only Owner will float off out of it.  She has mentioned swimming and I am all for it.x

 

Has she achieved any more resolutions you secondly all wonder up.  I have not noticed that we are rich beyond our means OR living in a ranch with an animal sanctuary attached, OR that Owner is trimmer and fitter... but I blame that on an everlasting supply of after 8s and the bag of toffee popcorn that she had to eat while we watched that nice film about dinosaurs.x

 

Do go on to have a lively Sundee and do stay out of the kitchen if at all possible.  it is time consuming and as Owner reports 'hard work for de rien.' be nice and be furry.  Big Love Wonka X

 



 



Shepherds Pie Satdee

By the time Owner realised it was actually the morning and not the middle of the night, and the good alarm was not lying through it's snooze - I was nigh on starving. HURRY UP Owner I shouted through the good kitchen door guarding us against the angel cat that is Ruggles. 

Owner says that when she is shuttered and barred in the good kitchen and especially if she has a combination of the rocket (kettle) washer( we have never liked it) and that annoying fan in the bathroom going, she is incapable of hearing anything. Bar the news.  that cuts through any amount of noise, especially bad news which is piercing. End of and FACT. x

Speaking of Rugglestop, you will all want to know if he has recovered from his scrap on New Year's Eve? you do not want to see the other cat, Blackster, says Owner.  We think he came off worst.  Apart from the usual odd skin conditions, ear wotsits, lumpy fur and so on, Ruggles seems fine reports Owner. x

Owner has been saving herself for a cooking fest. 
WAS IT WORTH IT Owner I questions up when she appears exhausted, and hours later from the good kitchen.
The proof Wonka, she tells me up, in between crying (onions.x) and washing up. WILL BE IN THE SHEPHERDS PIE.
The kitchen smells and Owner reports using a lot of utensils and pots and such like.  We think it is a one off whatever it tastes like and the quorn had better be tasty.x (no animals have been harmed etc.x)

In other more exciting news we tried to watch Sherlock but failed. Owner cannot somehow come to terms with what the rest of the nation have, and that is falling for benedict cumbersome. IT SEEMS MORE LIKE DR WHO she droned to me.  Do you like Dr Who I says, taking a small interest it cuddling up to supper time.
NO she goes back.x

We are edging closer and closer to Mundee there I've said it.  Maybe, just maybe someone will recall Owner from the scrapheap and me from starvation.  I have tossed a coin in the wishing well accordingly.  Tonight we will wait for the comfort blanket of Casualtee and Connie and her new amour thingy.  We still don't like wotsit.  Now I haven't mentioned Bertie and I'm not going to, so all I can say is - have the kind of evening we shall have.  and do not on any account attempt to make a shepherds pie from scratch. (I know.x)  Big Love Wonka X

The Sound of 2016!

Happi New Year all you folks out there and a big PURR to my small but beautiful following.  No cat is a proper cat without one.Fact.X

 

 

There we are! all Owner's best resolutions and mine too.........

 

WAS WATCHING The Sound of Music one of them? you all sing up...NO, but we are bearing with it nicely. X

 

Owner saw the New Year in and we enjoyed the fireworks from the safety of the good tv. We know that in Australia they are bigger and better and noted that in Times Square in the U S of A their lights and giant balls in the sky were also bigger and better BUT ours by the London eye were pretty PLUS there was music and singing.  Bertie knew no different and it may as well be a case of New York or new year to him and Ruggles is still in recovery after his giant scrap.

 

THAT WILL TEACH YOU said Owner to him, giving him a careful stroke as we think Blackster bashed him round his head.  But she didn't mean it folks, and I should know as I get told off from the minute I wake up.......and I know you are all asking how come Wonka, but such is life for a chief advisor.........X

 

Owner popped out briefly, too briefly for my liking as I was enjoying the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and fell back in droning on about visiting aged sibling and putting some air in the tyres.

IT WAS ON MY LIST Wonka! 

 

Turns out it was one of the things on her Resolutions list so she is counting it as DONE and given it a big TICK. And herewith my little tip for today, the very first day of our good year 2016 - make a resolution you can tick off early AND it will get your all furred up for the rest! I know, I am very proud to mention it. End of.x

 

They are singing Climb every Mountain which Owner says the Band were playing when she was deciding whether to move here or not.  WHERE FROM? I goes, it being nigh on tea time.  From the Park she tells me.  Did it help I says up - Owner did not have the benefit of my advice at this stage in her up and downs.

 

YES.



You can all come out now as said film has come to a crashing end high up in the Alps. (sorry Austria.X) Now do enjoy your very first day of this good year 2016 and it is all to play for folks. Me? I resolved to have a trough flowing with best biscuits and my beloved Amazen box a tad nearer the red hot rad.  End of.
See you soon!  Big Love Wonka X