Then it happened.X

WHAT DID Wonka?? you all whisper up having just woken up slash got up slash been up for hours and just about to pop back for a proper sleep...... That strange chap Donwald the Trump conquered Hillary with two ells and is even now POISED to go in the White House. He is the new president elect folks and NO ONE personne OR nowee kahin (and that folks is hindi, YES x) can believe it.

ESPECIALLY US.

 

There we are! we turned on the good radio two and all we herd next was trump trump trump AND WE DON'T mean Nellie the Elephant either.  it is what the world has turned into whilst we were all looking folks - so we had best keep a good proper eye out now.  End of and donwald the trump fact up.X

 

IS THERE ANY OTHER NEWS to speak of Wonka you all ask up nicely noticing that I am a tad annoyed this morning. And yes siree there is!  Owner's soiree passed off without a hitch!  DID THE VINO help you all pester me up..... the vino, the cheesle and biscuits and the crowning glory folks was Owner's flapjack. if you are patient and good I might pop the recipe on here next week.... and If Owner had pulled the tray out of the oven say 5 minutes earlier she wouldn't have had to go at it with hammer to break it up into bite size pieces!! it was blinking gorgeous! X

 

So there we are folks the new home, or Crows Nest as we call it, is well and truly christened.  Ruggles has been making strange mewling noises at the little study window and we think it is about Camber. WHO?  Camber lives at No 1, and looks a bit handy.  She is a beauty champagne colour, and fluffy with it.  She sat atop the wall just over the backway and Ruggles spied her. DID SHE NOTICE Wonka? you all want to know and are wide awake now with this good diary blog thingy wotsit.  Camber did look up once Owner made silly kissing noises at the window.  There may be a cartoon of this who knows.  it is hard enough getting Owner to do anything as she will bleat on about how tricky it was moving (?) and sorting out the new home (?) and doing a job as well.......ME? thanks for asking, and as you know I've had my work cut out as I have three floors to do it all on now and TWO lots of facilities to scrape in (how was I to know one was for Rugglesis? x) and three feeding zones.  it is exhausting folks I can tell you.X

 

Money wise we are leaning hard on our best friend the credit card who is proving to be a warm and generous friend. NO ONE and personne again, is looking at our new tale, A Spooky Tale and we do recommend it.  once more folks it is on good Smashwords.com

 

and here is now to get there..............https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/672383

 

you will love it when you do......................X

 

 

There we are!!  That is Ginger Tom who takes us through the tale and there is the clock with the secret - oh! that lost hour and what happened there ......X and if you want to read more about this story, which is part of a trilogy (ooohhh!) then you must read our New Year's Eve story, also on Smashwords.com, the second installment - and wait! The third and final installment may be uploaded for the end of this year folks.  What a treat.....X

 

Now folks we are deep into the begin of Winter weather and the trickledown to Christmas, so wrap up warm and fluff up your furry coats!  smile at your enemies as nothing confuses them more than being loved instead of the other AND keep a good eye on that donwald chappie. I haven't mentioned Tresa Maynot and I'm not going to.  Big Love Wonka X

 



 

 

 



Soirees

WHAT IS A SOIREE Wonka? you all whisper up to me, having got through a hard old week and slept in nicely.  This is what Owner is throwing next Fridee folks to, (quote.X):

"Christen the new house Wonka!"

I can only hope yes and pray to the God of Soirees, that it all turns out alright folks.  She has been mumbling on about 'just' a few of this and 'just' a few of that. I mean where am I sposed to hide for it?? And what of Ruggles? I KNOW you will wonder why I am concerned about my old adversary (excellent use of word) BUT since moving here, I am slowly getting used to the idea that FRIENDS can be a good thing.  Even Owner is realising this and moving away from her inbuilt hermit roots. Bertie will know no different as he has a HUGE hideaway anyway and will simply scuttle under it. (my other giant nest aka Owner's pit.X)

 

There we are!! During the week, Owner spied a rainbow and startled the group she was in by going 'OOOHHH' and 'AHHHH' and taking millions of photos of it.  BUT it was a double rainbow and we all know how special they are...............X

 

 

What else can I report up folks?? WE love our NEW home! And Owner has met cartloads of neighbours who are all lovely and normal.  We just may have landed on our paws this time folks and not before time. Aside from the fact that we are even more poverty stricken and CANNOT earn enough to keep me in best biscuits life folks is good.  Just a miniscule reminder that there is a Christmas Book wobbling about out there AND there is the new Spooky tale on smashwords.com. AND, Owner has news that the new story to be published by good #austinmacauley 'Wonka Presents! - An Egyptian Tale' will be published at the end of January 2017 - so a New Year present!! - it is a tale I am extremely proud of AND illustrated by my best Owner X

 

There he is!! Ramondo from the tale and a very ancient visitor......brought to us by no less than Gingertop! Do you remember gingertop who used to visit us all the time and gobble up Rugglesis food? well he has crept into this story so you had better read it to find out more!  Pop that date in you diaries folks End of Jan 2017!! X

 

In the wicked world of politics all is going horribly wrong folks.  The big orange trumpman is hurtling towards the white house and can Hillary with the two ells stop him? NO ONE or PERSONNE can believe it is happening a bit like Brexit. Owner is still in denial about that and it happened months ago now BUT a good high court ruling by some good high court Judges has decided that Tresa MAY not just hurtle on out of the EEYEW without consulting Parliament. a lot of folks are up in arms about this with sayings such as 'the people have voted!' and 'the people said!' IS THIS MOB RULE droned Owner to me in the week? I mean I thought all those mob I mean people wanting to leave the EEYEW wanted to do so because we have our own sovereign rules to abide by.......... THAT'S the trubble with people Wonka, Owner further droned to me, THEY KNOW de rien. End of and political fact up.X

 

In the tv world things are moving on apace.  The Bake off ended and Wednesdees are not the same, in Corrie Roy is getting married and thingy has left thingy.  Where is Saint Todd? there are a few far flung storylines and Owner is a tad restless and as for Enders, there may or may not have been a wedding.  Ben had some therapy and shouted at the therapist but Owner says this is par for the course. yes. Really we must cling to Strictly and Dani and Oti which sounds like a breakfast ceriel and Ore and Jo - we do like Gregg still and who knows he could win it. Stranger things are happening. We have lost the plot with the Hex FActor and Honey G keeps getting voted in.  I know.X

 

Now it is Bonfire night and need I say more.  We have had to contend with horrid whistling noises and nasty bangs I AM NOT in favour. RIP Mr Fawkes and bring on the silent fireworks please. After tonight we are on the countdown to Christmas folks and the decorations will be dusted down and checked over. NO, Owner has not made any decisions about WHERE or WHO to spend it with as yet.  it is a mystery to be solved............... Do go on to have a good week folks, sniff that cold air and wrap up warm!! Big Love WonkaX

 



National Caturday!!

HOWDY UP FOLKS!!!and HAVE YOU MISSED ME???

I know that does not need an answer OF COURSE YOU DID!!

Well I missed you folks all out there living it up, living it down and meeting yourself coming backwards.... YES I have moved residence and have a new bunch of rooms to navigate and oversee.  it was a trifle demanding and I succumbed (brill word I love it) to my yearly dose of sneezing and running eyes. OH! said the Vet, he had the same thing nearly exactly a year ago.....................and it cost Owner roughly the same price too!  Not to worry folks as Owner did manage to whisker me down to the vets and back even though she was in the middle of moving.  I love her AND thanks to the two week antibiotic PLUS my booster, I am tip top and Bristol Fashion.X

 

OOOH!!  Yes, purely for your delection folks, one of Owner's beauty illustrations from the latest Wonka Presents! A Spooky Tale - available on Smashwords.com for a few measly pence. JUST to keep me and Bubb oh and Ruggles too in best biscuits (and boosters and such).  Just follow this tiny link...............X

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/672383

 

When Owner popped onto the smashwords site it gave her all this info about 'WIDGITS' What its? I says up??? I don't know Wonka, she goes back to me.  (and I quote) 'I followed all the instructions and I still don't get it............'  This folks is what I have to live with day in day out.  Now back to the move folks.  ARE YOU HAPPI AS a lark Wonka? you all shout up concerned about me never mind bubbster and Rug. I LOVE it actually, there are a million birds to look out pigeons, sparrows, seagulls. more sparrow like birds and goodness me just about every bird you can name.ALSO, there are cats bobbing around on the rooftops of sheds and walls and looking at them close up. it is paradise found folks.X

 

Aside from it being a national caturday folks it is also building up to the Halloween time of year.................

 

 

There we are!! Perhaps our window may be different this year AND we may not have so many callers in the shape of children often known to Owner from the millions of schools she has worked in.................. 'HALLO MISS!' they say as they recognise her..............X (and they say they will be nice to her now. Hmm.X)

 

Now also whilst we have been moving things have moved on apace on the tv.  Candice won the bake off and we loved it, and her lippie did the whole nation proud.  Oti and Danny and Ore and Jo are our newbie faves in Strictly.  Owner has got their names wrong a couple of times now but I have not said anything. In Corrie everyone is having a baby or it seems like it and thingy has had a stroke - Tracy tried to blame it on Peter but it must be her fault.  We are not sure what is happening in Enders as Fil is missing along with most of the main characters that Owner identifies with.  Even Shazzer is not there nor Shirlee. (?) And that brings us nicely to the Hex Factor where we really do not know what is going on.  I promised Owner we can watch it tonight and figure it out BUT it does clash with Casualtee and as you know this is Owner's security blanket on a Saturdee.X

 

I wanted to tell you all about the parking at our new abode which Owner insists on calling the Crow's Nest.  The entire house is on a tilt folks BUT I am adjusting.  As for the car with no name it is busy revving up and reversing in what daughter said was " the smallest street I have ever knowed." end of and street fact up.X

 

We are now spiralling (nice use of word.X) towards Christmas folks and I wonder if anyone has given a thought to buying our Christmas Story?? in case you had forgotten here it is........X

 

 

Treat yourself!!! and obtain it on Amazon.com why don't you??!X

 

Now I must fly...Bertie has taken to hiding under the giant nest that is Owner's bed and Ruggles has only taken over the little study complete with settee and a look out to die for!!! YES I am being as friendly as friendly can be with them.....X

 

Be nice to everyone this coming week and I PROMISE it will pay off.  Have plenty of snoozles to build your energy up and go easy on the biscuit trough.  Until next week folks! Big Love Wonka X

 

 

 

Extra Extra!!! a Spook Alert!

Howdy up folks and as promised the very latest

Wonka Presents!- A Spooky Tale

 

is now uploaded to smashwords.com

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=Wonka+Presents%21+-+A+Spooky+Tale

 

There it is! and just there is Ginger Tom the hero of the tale with the old clock that holds a secret about his old master....

cuddle up and find out more

in Wonka's new

and

SPOOKY tale!

 

Big Love Wonka X

New Horizons!

HAVE YOU MOVED Wonka? very nearly folks.  That is to say, next Fridee is Dee Day.  OOOER! you all shout up full of compassion (good word I like it lots.X after all I have plenty of that.) and good will and hopefulness that I will settle in and love it.

This is what I have learned so far............

1.  Owner says there are and I quote: 'Views to die for Wonka. you will see pigeons at close quarters AND sparrows and such like all swooping around and feeding PLUS there is a fish pond to gaze down at from the first floor window.

2.  After I have gazed at that, which let's face it folks has to be fitted in around gazing at Bertie Bubb and checking he is ok with moving from one Narnia cupboard to another similar one - yes after that I can look at the sea if I feel like it and the harbour and even a bit of the lighthouse.X

3.  There are two floors to explore and new nests to make.

4.  I have been told I will love it and end of.X

Owner has been making a million lists and phone calls some went better than others and NO there is no bed for me to go under as daughter helped her take it to bits ready for Dee Day. YES I still have my box so that is alright then. Bertie as I say knows nothing or DE rien and Rugster will simply be transported from one kitchen en suite to another. I know.X

 

There we are!  Even though it is a new Vista out there, we can still see the stars and Owner says we will see even more of them hanging over the sea and the land around. Ah.X

 

 

In other news, Owner is still enjoying her new solid non zero hours job and is holding her own.  She flies back home in a good mood UNTIL she remembers the neighbours BUT then it is alright as we will have new ones.  HAS SHE MET ANY yet Wonka you all wonder up, as you know Owner can be a bit testy and the answer is YES SIREE there is a good neighbour already.  IS IT A SIGN Wonka she says to me, when she flew back home to start even more packing.  It must be I said, as I tucked into some real chicken (thank you chick!x) which is MY treat oh alright and Bubbsters and Rugs for all the upheaval.  I love it. X

 

 

Now there is some extra extra news and I am going to tell it IN A FRESH POST!! it is about our new story folks...............X

 

 

In between ringing up british gas who turned out to be very friendly and what have you which Owner was astonished by....(she fired them back in the noughties folks and vowed 'I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THEM' as you know folks my motto is NVER SAY JAMAIS!!!! - yes whilst doing this and a million other removal tasks we have managed un peu de tv - Saint Todd has not been in corrie this week which was taken over by a through a glass darkly David who is set to murder someone OR have a near fatal car crash ORget saved by his bruvver (who he tried to murder a few chapters back...X).  we loved it.  In enders we are trying to keep up and we think the funeral family are on the move AND nasty Babe is still nasty. In Strictly will Young of the famed red sox has had to leave which is woesome we like him BUT there are others who we like more.....Anastacia is one of them we do love her and now we love Brendon too.X

 

Next Satdee folks Owner says we will be off line.  OH, says I.  and Pourquoi even?? because talk talk who are still shoving over a landline and wotnot at us say we will not GO LIVE until the 25th.  personally I shall run up all the stairs (that's two flights now folks) and roll under the bed (still there) and get a bit dusty if it all goes to plan.  Owner has been known to swing very low on the mood setting when she is cut off from civilisation (that's all her social media thingies and webs.  NOT real webs the other ones.X) AM I  prepared you all wonder up? I have a few choice sayings folks tucked away for special stressful occasions like this eg there is always someone worse off than you Owner - and yes I do tend to whisper this one well after my tea time and possibly from in one of the new cupboards.......X

 

Look out for my extra extra diary folks all about my Spooky Tale!

and please come back to us if we go missing - it is not our fault!!

Have a fab week ahead with lots of things making your fur gleam and your whiskers tingle!! Big Love Wonka X

 



Inside out and Upside down.

WHAT THE WHISKERS you on about Wonka you all want to know, worried as I was not doing the diary MY WEEKLY diary on time (yesterdee.) FOLKS it is all down to Owner going through a prolonged (good use of word.X) episode (even better word X) of CHANGE.

THAT's right folks, she has fallen out with environmental health she says they couldn't look after a waste paper basket never mind an incident of NOISE.  After a full on phone call with the Manager (I think it was but most of the time I was under the bed and Bertie was in his lair) and I thought she said 'YOU IDIOT' but I can't be sure....This was followed by a call to His Manager which by my reckoning (reliable) was a bit calmer.  BUT, it turns out no one believes Owner and the neighbours can just carry on being whatever they like. HOW HAS OWNER resolved this Wonka you all shout up at me?  BY CHOOSING ANOTHER HOUSE AND MOVING TO IT SHORTLY.  Needless to say folks we are all upside down and how's your father about it, and all Owner has done is say to me that IT's time to move on.

 

There we are! all in a state of confusion and shock yes even Bertie Bubb who only moves from his lair a couple of feet to his biscuit trough. Ruggles will still have a kitchen and outback and even some outhouses to smell out and nest in.  Thank goodness I will still have my amazen box and the giant nest that Owner calls a settee oh plus the even bigger nest that Owner used to sleep in - in the good old days when it was worth going to bed (pre neighbours folks. I know.)X

 

I dare say lots of other things have happened this week like that strange orange man vying (terribly good use of word.x) for president alongside Hillary with 2 ells, saying more stupid things oh and tresa maynot saying stuff about brexit whilst our good pound is dropping through the floor AND silly old Jezzer putting people no one likes except him and his momentum thingy into his wardrobe I mean shadow cabinet. BUT all Owner can think of now is moving folks. The biggest change in our little lives coming up and we can all cope with it because Owner says IT IS NOT FOREVER and IT IS A STOPGAP. I know.X

 

Finally folks there is a weensy glimmer of light on our horizons because Owner says she is ready to upload the latest Wonka Presents to Smashwords.com. it is a proud moment folks as it is a good and proper Spooky Tale as told by ME and fully illustrated by Owner. this time though, and to save us all from starving and being able to pay the rent, it must be paid for and we are thinking just under a fiver folks.  That seemed fair to me and will keep me in biscuits throughout the winter. End of.X

 

There will be the usual announcement folks when the story is on there AND in time for Halloween.........in the meantime there is a story already there for the season of spook, so go and check it out!!

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/485030

 

You will love it.x

 

Now do try and get through next week with your fur all nice and smooth and a good strong purr! I shall report back next weekend on all the goings and doings and movings AND signal the arrival of the new story too. Big Love Wonka X

A Good Week for....

WHATHO folks and HOWDY UP.  this will be a short and snappy round up of the week WHICH had it's good points...................and not so good points.

SHALL WE START WITH THE BAD? you all shriek at me impatient to know that someone out there is having a much more hideous time of it than you are.  HERE WE ARE then...LIST:

1.  The noise has not abated infact Owner says it has increased.
2. When the other lady came round to collect the noise monitoring equipment (as the other lady is off sick.  I know.X) and said that THEY MIGHT DETECT something on the recorder OR NOT.
3.  WHO ELSE is off sick enquired Owner and it turns out there are just two staff manning the entire area and beyond.x
4.  The other one proceeded to dismiss every single noise issue and call it something else including telling Owner she had..............SENSITIVE HEARING.  It was at this point folks that I came out from under the bed where I had been hiding in my lair to shoot downstairs.  The upside to this was that it really frightened the lady who was (to quote Owner) being very patronising.End of.X
5.  The upshot is (we think) that Owner will be left to it and the decision will be it is all in her IMAGINATION as she is too feeble and sensitive to decide what is a normal household noise and what isn't.  YES even in her own home.

 

 

There we are folks!except we don't hear that much anymore. and just to finish off, Owner has sent three or is it four emails to the good manager of the dept TO MAKE SURE he listens up.  End of X

 

That folks is our main bad news story for the week, and just because Owner has an ear infection (thanks GP x) that doesn't mean there is any link to the noise. NO. Me? thanks for asking, mostly I have been tracking down where Owner is going to sleep (JOKE) for the night.  So far it hasn't been the bathroom.X

 

And when all else stop taking you seriously did you know you can buy that folks? it is called a solicitor.  Yes sireee.  Those pesky americans know all about sooing this that and the other, well back in this little old isle, we are a bit slower on the take off. BUT Owner is busy buying this 'taking me seriously' service and THAT might see off the greedy home who is after all aged parent's savings.  I know.  I have of course offered up my advice from various hiding places in the house, and mostly in a whisper, to say things like, don't let it get you down Owner! and 'Every Cloud.....'X

 

GOOD things were:  the job has turned out to be fab and Owner has hardly any complaints to-date. (proud.X).  Her hair has fell into an ace style that she would not have dreamed of a week ago when the good hairdresser cut it and she 'couldn't do a thing with it for days.'X She has had a good chat (that's french for CAT you know.X) with our good publishers #austinmacauley about PROMOTING our best ever story.....AND three fab reviews have appeared on Amazon.com about it.

 

 

I bought this book for my daughter at christmas time, this is what she had to say about it. "I am 9years old, I really like this book. I love Wonka and his cat friends, especially Ruggles and Baba. Wonka is a really friendly cat and goes on some cool adventures at chistmas time. I like reading this book, it is easy to read with a really good story, just right for my age. I am Madeleine Masterson's biggest fan."

 

This is from a girl called Phoebe and our next story (An Egyptian Tale) is dedicated to her.X

 

 

 So Folks there you have it an upside down week with good bits in it too. What of BERTIE bubb you all shout up? Living it up in his Narnia and not a whiff off trouble in his little life. YES I have looked at him a couple of times and one of them coincided (good use of word) with Owner dropping off to sleep but how was I to know eh? EH? And Rugglesis is as good as ninepence or thereabouts.  Owner carefully put out his winter wooly heated pads and he carefully went off out and settled in the luxury shed.X

 

On the telly we have clung to a new programme called 'The Retreat' and Owner wishes she could be there right now. Beeb two folks, and on every night at 7pm.  We loved it. In Corrie Saint Todd is in danger from Vinnie who is a bigger and far worse villain than Feelan who has declared I LOVE YOUR MOTHER (that's Eileen folks)and will save Todd from said nasty person.  Who just happens to be his partner in crime.  I know. THEN there is all the fun of the fair with the HEX Factor as they all at Judges Mouses now PLUS the dancing.  Mr Young, Will to his mates, is our new fave as he danced onto our screens with red socks on. next to him is our fave Anastacia and new fave Brendon. We hated him before now we love him.X

 

If next week can very slightly improve on this week we will say a BIG THANKYOU to the heavens. IF our dream home turns up then we really will be in heaven folks.  Now keep your fur shiny, your eyes bright and those whiskers a tingle!! Big Love Wonka X