Wonka here. Some astounding news has finally got to me. Owner strolls back in and as per, I had to listen to mountains of information about barriers and codes and 'how lucky' this and 'for goodness sake that' - her ID is now so secure she can flash it under any of those machine thingies and check in or out. This morn, because it was not working and instead flashed up EXPIRED Owner had to get a new card and then it said she was OUT when she was IN etc. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz and how she got through the final barrier to the car park by a stroke of luck...more zzzzzzzzz although I did listen slightly to this bit as it turns out she whipped round to that other giant supermarket that used to have famous people shopping in it and hasn't as yet shown itself to be (list) 1. a maze 2. horrid people in it 3. hides all the essentials you came in for. AND bought the original luxury cat food that Bertie Bubb has been taken off of. WHY? you all wonder up, did she change the food he loves and is alright on? Good question and the answer is all down to Owner being on impulse setting. I love it.
Mirror free para. NOW onto the most important info and I am sorry I went slightly off track and I blame it on Owner. She reports up, that beyond all the numbers and codes and barriers there are NO MIRRORS anywhere. NONE in the rooms where the little people play (up) and none in the nearest ladies room. I have never, she droned to me, known such a lack of mirrors, AND I had to adjust my scarf in the reflection of the microwave! Personally, I see this lack or mirrors as a giant plus. When Owner leaves the house (at last... only joking Owner!) she looks like the most beautiful Owner in this house, so why spoil it all by deciding to look in a mirror and see a troll looking back at you?? eh?? I really do love it.
Mirror mirror on the wall para. now for our good offering today, Owner says to put this one on. WHAT IS IT? I says up....and it is of our noticeboard...... OH, it has flown up there and I did nothing or de rien as I like to say.. Why are we looking at it you all gasp up? Owner says that each year after Christmas when she takes down every single itsy bitsy decoration, there is always one left behind. This year we thought we had found the culprit and it was the angel dangling from the mantelpiece BUT NO! a couple of weeks back Owner suddenly saw the final one dangling from the noticeboard. OUR LUCK WILL CHANGE IMMEDIATELY she says to me, and I am proud to report that at least, it has not been worse! So there he is at the bottom of the board which is choc full of photos and drawings and such. there is even a small pig dangling at the top.. We love it.
Final mirror free para. Owner also has this to report up and it is that Landlords are too interfering and we wish they would all go away. I DO NOT she goes to me, want to see texts from the Landlady, about anything. I mean, it is never to say THANKYOU for being a tenant and a half all these years, it is only to pester me. I wonder if this is why Owner keeps looking at other houses for rent, and now that Rug has moved in with us and hardly wants to go out now, I dare say he will want to come with us oh and Bertie Bubb. If by a miracle we could live in a giant luxury home in the countryside I would say YES PLEASE let's move. Until then, I vote we stop here a bit longer. Tonight it is the very last Wolf Hall and this is sad news as we are entranced by it. Before that we can hug up to Corrie X 1, and depressed no clinically depressed Steve and naughty Tracee who has her claws into Steve's Mum's boyfriend. YES. Owner says we are half way through this hard going week and if we take deep breaths and try and love everyone we will make it to Fridee. I will do my best to be kind to Bubb and Rug but it is tricky for me as they are both potentially (get me) usurpers to my place at the top of the old tree. Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it. Big Love Wonka x
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