Who Will Buy!!

WHAT ARE YOU SELLING WONKA?  IS IT ANY GOOD IF YOU ARE?? Howdy up Folks and thanks for your interest BUT I am referring to Owner's efforts to sell her bit and pieces of artwork and such like.  for what seems like a life time she has been sticking and mounting and backing and printing and popping to a man who does cards and popping to another who does canvases AND then assembling it all and packing it all until I thought................
WHAT DID YOU THINK WONKA?? you are all on the edge of your baskets wanting to know.....I THOUGHT we were moving house folks THAT is what I thought.  Instead it was just giant supermarket bags packed to the gunnels with prints and frames and wotnot.  Then Owner has to pack it all into the car with no name and set off at a ridiculous time in the morning to get to the Whitby Pavillion at a ridiculous time in the morning.

 

There it is!!  All loaded up it was......and when Owner fell back in much much later and I said straight away how starving I was alright and Ruggles too - does she go on this long explanation about

 

1.. NOT selling anything not one card not nothing.

 

2.  How she had to buy this really expensive bit of artwork that we don't need, can't eat it or sit on it or wash up in it or anything just admire it

3.  How she took a wrong turn because she ignored a big sign that said THIS WAY OWNER and went merrily on another strange route and then had to turn around and come back and take notice of that big sign all over again..............................

 

THEN folks, we were fed and watered. I mean.X

 

In other lesser news, Jezzer was on a programme to celebrate Eng v Bel only we went and lost that match and to make it even better than that Danny Dyer out of Enders went on a big rant about Blastit (aka Brexit) and called Mr Cameron a four letter word.  Twice.  And Jezzer who should have stayed on his allotment couldn't say anything as we all know he loves Blastit as much as Tresa Grey does.  End of.

 

Ingerland will go on to play Colombo or somewhere very like that and this time if they go all silly and lose I think we will be OUT.  Much like Germany and Argentina and now Portugal.  I know.  those pesky French are still in it to win it though...............XX

 



There they are!! Battling away and losing into the bargain........... until next Tuesdee folks XX

 

Aside from three million matches of footie, we have fitted in Versailles and lots of Corrie AND My girl I mean Our Girl which for my money is getting a bit same old same old - even Owner was saying things like WILL HE STOP GOING ALL MOONEY (our girl's boss who had a big stake through his leg and every other line was I MUST GET YOU TO HOSPITAL. And tonight for no reason at all, Casualtee has been replaced by George Gently.  I cannot repeat what Owner said when she found out folks.  I mustn't.XX

 

Now tomorrow Owner is repeating today and all I can say is for goodness sake be home in time for OUR TEA!!  paws crossed for a big sale to keep me and Ruggles in that new gourmet pate and luxury cat litter.  Or else.XX

 

Have a Furry purry week folks, stay cool and BE GOOD like me.....Big Love Wonka X



Birds and Bees and FOOTIE

ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE FOOTIE WONKA? you all mumble at me in a daze of passes and defences, VAR thingies and referees and injury time!!! EXCITING OR WOT!! of course I am watching it and I cannot tear Owner away from it either.  WE LOVE IT.XXXX

 

There we are scoring those precious goals folks!!  In beloved Volgograd!! What a place to make good eh.  YES SIree we have been checking our history out AND Owner by a stroke of synchronicity (have to go and lie down now.X) has been watching that war film Enemy At the Gate which tells of the hero sniper Vassily (sorry if got your name wrong you are STILL a hero in my book) who took on the enemy left right and centre in Stalingrad folks, We salute all you heroes everywhere!! X

 

PS on the footie trail AND having watched those pesky Belgiums score FIVE yes FIVE goaligogs against poor Tunisia who scored TWO which in any other match would have won them the match!! Tunisia not to be this time BUT there is always the next one.....AND if Ingerland cannot repeat their efforts tomorrow (against Panama) and Thursdee (I think now don't all shout at me if I am wrong.X) against those triumphant Belgium folks then it will be the same for us.  NO ONE, PERSONNE wants that to happen here on this tiny isle folks with or without that BLASTIT (Owner's new name for that horrid EEWE thing.XX) AND finally folks my prediction for our beloved footie team I predict a win against Panama and a WHO KNOWS against Belgium BUT that team may have peaked...............and our day in the sun....could be could be.X

 

In other more important news folks, those little fledgling birds are loving it in the little outback, perching and snoozing in the buddleia bobbing about on the old rose tree AND being fed with their little beaks open wide!!  The bees are busy nipping from bloom to bloom and it is a nature dream it is.  Owner stands at the kitchen window in a bird watching daze and says to me it is good for her mental health.  FOLKS, this is the miracle I've been praying for!! Anything that improves her mood setting to round about 7 and above I LOVE IT.XX

 

There we are!How we love that little outback XX

 

 Back in the silly billy world of pollytics, Tresa Gray keeps chuntering on in the questions malarkey and Jezzer pops up and down with another dissertation I mean question. Vinnie though I am proud to say has been about on the People's March against Brexit or should I say Blastit.  There were thousands on the march and Jezzer must have been busy on the allotment because he is not against it. I'LL NEVER VOTE FOR HIM EITHER shouts Owner from the other room.  I know.XX (Yes as far as we know Donwald the Trump is still coming to our tiny isle even though we don't like him one little bit OR want a special relationship with him.  End of.)XX

 

Aside from the footie Owner has managed to watch a few other progs notably Corrie and baby Soosie has owned up to belonging to Ayden BUT Johnnyboy has started legal proceedings OH YES to get the babe to himself AND thingy who he likes now she is on his side.  BUT then Evah made it all nicey BUT then Adam ruined it all by pretending he was Soosie's Dad.  Can Evah escape the machinations of this storyline? RUN AWAY Evah Owner shouts at the telly!  To Sconny botland where there is a different legal set up!!  In Enders the storylines are either centered on a brooding Mick or a brooding mad max and not much to pick between them.  Tonight there is Casualtee and can we get through it without Owner getting restless with one of the cast??  Can we?? X

 

Owner is still standing after her second foray into the wicked world of cover supervising and as far as I know those pesky students are too.  Whether she will get any more shouts for work is in the lap of the cover supervising God folks. YES I have put a word in for the ideal job of the century to turn up yes I have.  In the meantime, me and Ruggles enjoy a few well earned zzzzzzzzzz when she pops out to haul home some more food and cat litter for our facilities. ME? thanks for asking, I am keeping very well indeed and enjoying a bit of bird watching myself............  Ruggles keeps scritting his sore spot and Owner keeps asking the question that is shall I take him to the vets?  Which means coaxing him into a basket. (impossible) and having a complete stranger look at him in an unknown and new environment. (?).  Aside from that he is fine.XX

 

Now next week folks is the last week in June.  it gave me a shock to see that on the calendar too as that means it is all downhill now but not without a few nice things on the way.... there are a few more months of sunshine to be had AND Owner's Art Fair is finally here next weekend!! I shall report on how well she did and whether it means we are good for a few more packets of biscuits.... all to play for folks SO enjoy your footie whoever you support! And, may the best furry purry side win!! big Love Wonka X

 

 



Make Em Laugh!

Wonka!! YES I say up to my adoring folks????
DO YOU MEAN LAUGH INSTEAD OF CRY???

YES I DO FOLKS!! Even if, (like my bestest Owner in the entire galaxy) this means a hysterical laugh.  I know.XX

 

There I am!!! From the LAST World Cup folks and if that wasn't funny I don't know what was YES you have to laugh at what you cannot do anything about. AND folks, it is all to play for on Mundee!!! WILLYOUBEWATCHING Wonka?? you all shout up and want to know YES SIREE and I may even pick a winner....... you will have to visit my facebook page that is Williewonka to find out though....................XXXXXXX

 

Now the other thing to laugh IN THE FACE OF is adversity folks, and Owner knows all about this.  I could write a book about it Wonka she droned to me (personally folks I thought she already had and called it 'Conversations with Wonka.' and then uploaded it to Smashwords.com - just saying.X) This week alone that Admin Monkee has been busy altering and calculating and generally taking away, dividing it by 8673057665*&^&^%$^ and timesing it by 9676529&^%%$$ and thinking Owner wouldn't notice.  Several fraught and fussy phone calls later, all was well.  ISH.X

 

 

There I am again!! and the good news folks is that when I trapped that gown by the trailing belt causing Owner to stand still for a minute DID SHE LAUGH?? She did folks!! and she thought I was a champion comedian too.  End of X (take that Ruggles!!!! with your bonny angel face and affectionate ways!! )

 

Back in the realish world of pollytics, the Government were defeated and then they weren't amended themselves saw a bunch of fellow MPEEs walk out and then patted themselves on the back over and over again.   As for Jezzer and his merry social movement we think it is bedding in down at the allotment party.  Donwald met Mr Un on a leisure theme park island wotnot thingy and may or may not have signed something AND patted himself on the back over and over again.  All these power crazed people in charge.... Vinnie may be resting up somewhere as no news to report of him and his charge to END the brexit breville.  Owner kept shouting how she would vote for Nicola if she could. So folks, it is still on the cards that we move to a) Sconny botland or b) the wilderness I mean the Netherlands.X

 

On that wonderful telly we have clung to Versailles and there is a Man in the Iron Mask in the Bastille!! and, Philippe is busy uncovering the mystery with Fabien that ace detective at his side, in My girl, there was a kidnap an escape and a knees up and elsewhere we clung to corrie where AT LAST baby Susie is revealed as AAADEN's child! and it was Toytown that said it much to Owner's surprise who thought her lies could not stretch any further - and poor Peetah cannot get his head round it all.  WAS this that and the other all a lie he challenged up? YES says Toytown crying through her teef.  due to the world Cup Footie taking over I have persuaded Owner to 'GET INTO IT.' We only have 4 War films left - and they are all nail biting stuff folks especially the one where he fought his way out of a jungle to be rescued by a helicopter.  I mean.XX

 

Now here is the best news of the week as far as I am concerned.  Owner only got herself a shout for some work!! and survived it. (no one fell over Wonka she told me when she fell back in.  There were a couple of students creating mischief and taking on the role of class comic but apart from that, she is still standing.) and there is another shout for the coming week.  It is all munny in the coffers I says to give her heart.  It is high time she helped us instead of the entire needy world out there!!  (sorry needy world.X)

 

Now I must dash as the next footie match is starting and folks there have been two so far - Owner did enjoy France v Aussieland and wanted down under to win it!!  Those pesky Russians have scored some goals and not to forget NYET that the entire thing is hosted by that country, we don't mind if they score a goal here and there

and all I can say is UDACHI which we are all hoping means Good Luck in pesky Russian.  To all else we say Bon Chance! Viel Gluck!! Buena Suerte ! and Succes!! (that is Dutch and in case we do move there!!! X)

 

Get plenty of beauty sleep folks and face that new week with fluffy fur and frisky whiskers!! big Love Wonka X PS my prediction for this latest game Peru v Denmark is Peru to win it!! 2 1. XXXX





Human Rights Are Us!!

NOW WHAT WONKA!   You all shout at me wondering what the heckerooni (I made that up and I like it.X).

Owner has been to a regional conference folks - and wait for it - big roll on those over rolled drums............it was to Amnesty International!! BLIMEY you all say to me well impressed - how did she get on Wonka?  When she fell back in having had to do three circuits of the town and outskirts to find a parking space for the car with no name BECAUSE all the folk who have human rights had taken it upon themselves to park up in our street and leave those pesky clocks on their dashboards saying we have only been here for 5 minutes..............YES so when she fell back in I said to her I said.  HOW DID YOU GO ON Owner?

I liked it Wonka, she said.
OH I goes back brushing up against the facilities (Ruggles had just been) and then tapping at my empty saucer with my nose.  Even Ruggles joined in by sitting next to his empty saucer.
I then had to endure, I mean listen to an overview folks of what happened.  To cut this longish story short rest assured folks that wherever there is a human right to be righted my best Owner in the entire galaxy, she is on it! With knobs on!!! XXXX

There we are folks! A fresh sketch by Owner of that Admin Monkee who was hard at work this week too!! this time it was the water bill that was paid not just once but twice!!   We are keeping a big eye out for him her and it!! X

 

What else you all chime in, has happened in this pesky week?  Owner has sorted out even more things for the upcoming Art fair and keeps telling herself how good it all is.  I AM PROUD she says to me.  Keep your eye on the money though, I did whisper back as we are still a mere whisker away from starving.  The credit card our faithful is still there as a back up but I have warned as you all know against using it.  PAY IT OFF Owner I advised - and alright it was from the uppermost level of the housey with my head buried in the softness of Owner's best nest BUT she knows folks she knows..X

 

All the madness of Brits got some talent is over for another year so we have clung to beloved Versailles!! How we do love the French bruvvers - and million pounds to spare for a decent menu we are cuddling up to that too and shouting for the winners to win!  As it happens neither of the cooks won anything last week (not enough thrills in the vegan kitchen and (I quote folks,X) 'too much of a risk' for the passion in the kitchen that was Prince.  We love it.  over in Enders Staycee is still in it much to Owner's dismay flicking her swatch of hair about and pretending she is the bees knees GET OFF MY SCREEN wails Owner........horrid Hunter is bashing himself up and blaming it on thingy and his mummee believes he is telling the truth.  These are all storylines to make Owner see red, so quickly turning over to Corrie is the answer.   AliaH has walked out of what is her factory but she doesn't know it UNTIL her bruv reads something and tells her SHE IS, Peetah still thinks Susie is his and wotsits babe and Gary cannot see his own Son.  I mean.X

 

 

 

 



 

There we are! Owner's latest cartoon tribute to Corrie and this is where Roy gets to the bottom of Rosemary's psychic shenanigans!!!

 

In the silly old world that passes for pollytics Donwald the Trump is still coming to visit this tiny isle and I dare say folks will say NO and NON and GO HOME!!!  Tresa May keeps whispering about brexit handkerchiefs or something in that ilk and Jezzer must have snagged his foot on a bamboo truss up at his allotment as I do not recall ONE WORD of his this weekington.  we are all headed for a trip up the river and back that's what with Boris paddling and the rest of them! X

 

Now folks even though Owner is checked and double checked and checked some more NOT ONE JOB OFFER has come her way.  is she downhearted??? I REFUSE TO WORRY WONKA she says to me all defiant and strong.  I only hope folks her positive attitude keeps going into next week....................X

 

Now ME? thanks for asking, I am fine YES I miss little Bertie bub who for some reason has come home in a fetching little tub with two paws on it.  AND there is a sketch of her on the wall AND Owner keeps patting the tub and talking to it.  Ruggles is alright and has nearly stopped scritting behind his ear and making it sore.  I SAID NEARLY.X

 

Do go into next week with your furry head held high and your paws up folks!! Who knows it could finally be OUR BEST WEEK!! big Love Wonka X

 



Admin Monkeys X

WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT WONKA? what you say up to me, is an Admin Monkee.  folks they have been extra busy bees this year getting up to all sorts of tricks and IT AINT OVER YET.  It has hit Owner, and the ageds AND you will all notice it has been extra busy beeing in the banks and visa departments:
1.  it got busy mucking about with a simple (according to Owner.  I know.) setting up of a standing order - what, you all tell me could be easier than that? eh EH?? the admin monkee got hard at work making sure that it would go out twice in two days, be set at the wrong interval AND in the wrong name.  X
2. people keep handing out this excuse folks they say IT IS HUMAN ERROR!! We, in this household are having none of it - we know there is an Admin Monkey juggling and up to all kinds of tricks for 2018.  We can only hope it turns its attention to an account that doesn't matter OR a bit of post that instead of taking a couple of days to get here, takes a month.
BEWARE this Admin Monkee folks because the latest attack was on that beloved of cards - the credit card, which as you know has kept this humble household afloat for many a year and LUCKILY was not in use yesterday when everyone in the world tried to use it and failed - at the till, at the petrol pump, at the fast foodie.....................................our deepest commiserations!!!!VISA!!

 

There it is!!! from 2016 which was the year of it - but it has come back that Admin Monkee punkee.X

 

I am sick and tired droned Owner to me, of people saying well mistakes happen, and paper does go missing, and people are very very sorry........................ personally I would give everyone a big holidee, somewhere nice and sunny and not too hot with a hotel that was ALL IN INC DRINKS and say not to worry! but I said this in a whisper whilst Owner was searching high and low for an important piece of paper!! I mean. we all know that the Monkey has whisked it away to its hidey!! X

 

YES it has all been stressful and Owner has been missing the bubster who is coming home tomorrow in a little URN with two paw prints on the top of it.  I have tried to make up for there being just the two of us instead of just the three of us by using the facilities just like Bertie would have, eating the biscuits just like Bertie did AND having lots of well earned zzzzzzzzzzzz but on the top of Owner's giant nest instead of under it.  I MISS YOU BERTIE drones Owner every time she pops up to the top level.  As I say I have tried to get under her feet and sit right at the top of the stairs where she needs to put her foot down, as a big reminder of the bubster.  So far in, the only thing it reminds her of is what a nuisance I am....I mean! X

 



Ruggles has also tried to get lots of attention by wanting food every two minutes, scritting at his sore spots ( I did say to owner he is doing this for attention ignore him, but she is wracked with guilt anyway and needs to add to it by worrying about him and not daring to take him to the vets. I know.X) and taking up the entire settee AND leaving lots of little bits and pieces,  I am worn out with logging it all folks.X

In the wicked world of pollytics, Tresa Grey must be on holidee as we haven't noticed her saying anything but then we don't when she does - as it happened Jezzer must have got caught on some runner beans or strawbs down on the allotment as he been quiet too.  Donwald the Trump has been in out in out in out of meetings with that Kim john wee urn chappie so best not to take any notice.End of.X

glued to Corrie as Mr Phelan finally got despatched to the soap graveyard by Anna!! Seb had a go too, and Nicola and Chell got shot!! Blimey it was all happening and our new fave Flora is a perfect flatmate for Adam. Because Brits got lots of talent was on all week and kept Owner nicely we missed Enders - this is not a terrible shame as it has been taken over by Kat and alfee and staycee et al. This is not the kind of thing to keep Owner happi and I have kept her well away! AND last night when she needed to recover from yet another bout of Admin Monkey, her fave comedy was on that is Hot Fuzz with beloved Simon Pegg we love him.  it is the finally final of Brits got Talent and we want a comic to win as he made Owner laugh out loud.  This is so rare I have recorded it in my special diary. I know.X

The best news though is that Owner's pretty thorough checking to make sure she is not a nutter (?) or ready to attack anyone (?) had finished its long journey (thanks Admin Monkey) and she received a nice certificate to say so - this could mean folks that me and Rug can relax and take it steady while she is hard at it somewhere else.X

So next week could bring changes, GULP, and instead of lots of zzzzzzzz til we want to struggle up, it may mean JUMPING up a bit earlier.........now if you out there are having an admin monkey time of it, just keep going! demand explanations! demand compensation! Keeps those claws sharpened at dab away!!big Love Wonka XXXXX