Let it GOOOOOO!

Well now folks, are you into your good Satdees yet??? YES WE ARE in this house, now that Owner has finally sat down saying things like 'I'm just going to do this job, I'm just going to do that......'

This only happens folks when Owner has SOME TIME OFF.  There is a warning klaxon for this as ME, Ruggles and oh alright the bubster who we think knows what is happening in the world whilst slumbering through it - yes we all know this means ACTION STATIONS.  The only way Owner will stop doing things is when she flings off on one of her BACK SOON Wonka trips that can last up to FIVE whole days folks.  No such luck this half term OH NO. 
She has thrown out, moved round, cleaned behind it THERE WAS nowhere in this silly old mansion that got left out.X

 

Why a beauty cartoon of MOI?? because folks before I knew what was happening I was whisked off to the good vets.  For my annual Booster it turns out, to save me from the dread cat flu.  I know.  You will recall when I came down with an excellent dose of this 2 minutes before Owner was to go on her grande European tour.  It was action stations for the credit card and two years on I still give out the odd sneeze and snuffle.  STOP IT! she shouts.X

 

What of daughter and grandson over the sea in sunny Helmond.  It has been up and down folks and Owner keeps saying things like: 'this is all perfectly normal' (luckily in a text with no way of being shouted at or hung up in mid text for being annoying) - and ' It's such a big change you are bound to feel like......... (fill in the dots folks.  I would suggest - like flinging yourself off to the airport and getting the next one home OR going on a giant spending spree to cheer yourself up a tad OR eating a whole packet of those sweets now.)  I did say to Owner, I said, go easy on the advice Owner you are on a losing ticket whatever you come up with, you may as well just agree it is horrible, why did you even do it etc - but luckily this was said sotte voce (OH WHAT!!) from under my best new sunlamp in the little telly room.X  PS there hasn't been a knock at the door yet..........

 

 

 

Here we are folks!  Yes it is that time of year to let the hour go!!!  Owner will be busy doing the rounds of each room to do this little job and every year A TIMEPIECE IS LEFT OUT!! which one will it be this year.........and do not forget folks that our best #spooky tale on smashwords.com is all about the lost hour...........X

 

 

 

In between all the ripping up of old bit of paper and Owner going 'That's not important Wonka! Why am I keeping that!', we caught up with world events.  Tresa Grey keeps popping round the EEEWE and such like and Boris keeps pretending he is not after her job.  Jezzer has also emerged (like this word) from his allotment or knitting circle to say a few timely things in PM's quizzers.  Like the answer to three down and two across is FORTHEMANY. Phew.X

 

 

There was only one real happening in the soaps folks and it was NASTY ROTTEN LYING THROUGH HIS TEEF Feelan. Now he has flung off on his holidee with Eileen can't tell the truth from the lies I love my psycho husband, and all we know is THERE WILL BE MORE.  Once they get a taste for it folks............... over in Enders, Max has dumped his trickster frends for now and Staycee has gone quiet thus saving the day for Owner.  The X Factor has gone and picked some lucky people off that settee to join us on our settee every week until it is nearly Christmas, and in strictly the beat goes on BUT without our scarecrow Brian Conley we loved him.Who will it be this week?? Owner has consulted her crystal and says: it could be a shocker.............OOH (to go with Halloween.X)

 

 

Suddenly folks and without any warning, the kettle stopped being a kettle and turned into a bit of metal on a plug.  WHY goes Owner, POURQUOI is it not working?  I've only had it five minutes!' Owner says this about any piece of electrical doodah that is hovering around the 5 year mark.  In other words folks, most things must last forever BUT DON't.  The above is one of a long list of kettles that have adorned our kitchen.  Due to a turn around in the old routine (the visits to the ageds have been swapped folks to release Satdee for things like kettles breaking down instead of Owner.) Owner will not be rushing out today to capture a new one.  In the meantime folks a good saucy pan has been employed (like it like it) for the task of brewing up.X

As the new week looks likely to be upon us fairly soon folks I leave with you Owner's latest saying: make the unfamiliar FAMILIAR!! Big Love Wonka X

Bon voyage!

WHO IS LEAVING Wonka you all want to know seeing that beauty headline?? Only Owner's best and only Daughter and Grandson folks!!!! they flew off to the Netherlands on thursdee and they landed safely and happily at the other end!!

 

 

There they go!! not to forget little Peggy!! fancy her flying too. XX

 

 

Did Owner cry buckets Wonka? you all extra want to know.  She did weep a little bit when she rang them on the night before.  she did weep a little bit more when they flew off BUT folks, it is to a new and happy future so I dare say there will be mini breaks here and long weekends there where ME oh alright and ruggles and Minnie haha I mean Bertrude upstairs can relaxez vous.   Now if Owner was in her best GCSE English class, the teacher might have said to Owner 'That was a long sentence how could you have punctuated that to break it up blah blah.' NO the teacher never says blah blah that is me saying that.  I would have said I did break it up with a BUT and there is a comma, end of.X

 

 

What else in this bon voyage of a week has happened folks?? Owner spent packets of money on what seemed to me hardly anything at all.  it was a couple of stacking boxes and yes they had owls all over them but HOW MUCH?? I like them droned Owner who has already popped them down in the study where they will wait (and wait) to be filled up with things that should be going in the blue or green bin.  I know.  there was a lime green washing up bowl.  I do like lime green and if I jump up on the linen basket I can admire it in the sink.  there were two more container things which are now in the bathroom with THINGS in them.  I did say to Owner, is there a metaphor here? but she was too busy transporting (nice word) things from one place into things in another.X

 

There have been storms folks, called names and the latest one is Brian.  The other one made the sun go red and the sky go yellow.  Ruggles didn't notice overmuch and he is too intent on eating my food and sleeping in my hidey (the boiler cupboard) and Bertrude trip traps between bedroom and bathroom and had the nerve to look at me as if I were a stranger!! ME who was here first.  she has nicely got over the cat flu and if any of us does a slight sneeze Owner shouts STOP IT.X

 

In the muddled world of plotics I mean politics folks, Tresa grey has gone here and there and sat down for dinner with EU people and given a speech.  What about, some folks are saying, doing something instead of just droning on about it? As Owner is wont to say less talking and more doing!! Jezzer is still talking up his wonderful world where all are on decent pay, nursed at the drop of a broken down hat and in permanent lovely jobs.  OH and all go home at the end of a happy day to a beauty house that is so cheap a cat like me could buy it OR it is the best social housing since the Romans built a few of their everlasting builds.  Where are they now? Those pesky Romans.  Ousted by Celts and Picts and that.  I know.X  PS no sign of Vinnie as yet although he may pop up in Corrie who knows.X

 

 

Talking of Corrie Reetah has vanished and we have to ask if she knows where she is?? Nasty Feelan has sacked thingy who Anna is looking after but nice Tim has taken him on.  someone attacked Feelan who survived where anyone else would be in intensive care on a drip and saying their last prayers and wotnot.  he told Eileen who is blind to his constant lies that IT IS JUST A SCRATCH.  What next you all wonder up?  Owner managed to get through Enders EVEN though Staycee once more is grabbing storylines like they are going out of fashion.  NO ONE ELSE personne folks is getting a look in and JAYNE has been chased out of the square by Mad Max who whispers menacingly and looks bewildered at the same time.  I quite like Max says Owner.  I did the right thing folks, I said nothing.X

 

YES we are stuck like Owner's best Dad's glue that was aroldite, to Strictly AND the hex Factor.  This week is Judge's Mouses and you know how much we like that bit.  Weeping on the settee as they are told NO you must go home or YES you must entertain the troops that is us.  In Strictly we still love Oti and Jonnie we do, AND Mollie and AJ and our new faves are the sunshine couple Susan and Kev from Grimsby. It is anyone's game folks it is.X

 

The final bit of good news in this week is that like all those millions of happy children and teenagers pretending to be grown up and failing by a mile YES it is half term. Owner has no plans other that a long list of TO DOs.  The exciting news to come is that Owner's best cousin and her son MAY be popping through for a visit.  this means A LOT of hiding from the monster which as we all know lives on cat fur and all those bits and bobs that fall off us.

WHAT IS THAT? questions Owner as she picks these invisible to the naked eye bits off my best pillycase.  IT'S JUST a bit of cat thingies I says up. OH, she goes back.X

 

 

 

Now do go on and enjoy your good weekend AND the week ahead.  Keep a good eye on those opportunities you never know which corner they are lurking round!! wash you fur until it gleams!! and quiver those whiskers! Big Love Wonka X

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Wonka's Weekly doodah.

HALLOAH UP FOLKS!! now we all know who really heads things up in our homeo, who rules the roost, who mixes their metaphors and wotnot NO IT IS NOT ME of course it is Owner BUT, it must be said that my opinions and my input do count. YES they do.  for a small instance folks, when Owner says I CAN'T WAIT TO COME BACK HOME... oh no that is every day, well maybe when she drones to me how much she cannot wait.... and this week had a lot of that in it due to (one of those subtle OOH WORD bangs of a big gong on a drum thing.x) visits to aged sibling to help out with some admin. We all know that is death to Owner, followed by a trip to the dentist. worse than death for Owner.  IS SHE STILL ALIVE Wonka you all shout up? anxious and worried about how ME alright and ruggles and bertrude would cope on our own......YES, very alive and all proud of itself for not weeping throughout the extraction AND able to eat and drink straight away.  I know.X

 

Owner has a long and proud reputation of weeping in the dentist's chair but has finally burst through her very own fear of the dentist hoop!!! YAY!! X

 

You will all want to know that Bertrude has gone through her cat flu hoop, the most expensive cat to-date with just the odd sneeze and snuffle left.  I have been warned NOT TO GET IT Wonka! and so has Ruggles.  Seeing as he is fast over in the boiler cupboard and will only waken for some fodder, I cannot see him catching anything.End of.X

 

In the other big news of the week, Owner has near enough managed not to upset anyone at the college over much.  That she knows of. so she still has a job to go back to on Mundee and me and the others are OK for biscuits too.

 

Owner read it somewhere that Donwald the Trump is to visit our tiny miniscule island with his spray tan I mean his wife next year. Owner is sure this is to give the majority of the country enough time to organise itself into a giant rebellious crowd.  What I says, like that one in history, racking my brains for a name and I come up with Wat Tyler.  WHO? shouts Owner impatient now for some good solid historical facts.  WAT I shouts back.  alright from well behind the study door in a muffled whisper that she may not have picked up. Boris is still speaking on behalf of some of the tory party which is so split I am not sure which bit he speaks for, and as for Jezzer, he said on camera he voted to remain, but Owner insists he looked sheepish whilst saying it.  The body cannot lie she says. good Vinnie well we know he is out there somewhere.....X

 

In Corrie Reetah has had an operation AND is still alive and knows that Norris is Norris.  This surely proves her sanity?  Feelan is our Friday the 13th nasty - and cooking up his plot to replace thingy with another wastrel in that cellar.  His saintly daughter is to have Gary's babe whether Feelan approves or not and Eileen who has failed to notice her husband is a psychopath is on hand to advise. Enders for some reason has concentrated on Staycee and her madness thus stoking up Owner's inner demons- that and jane regaining her wits in the hospital bed with mad max sitting at the bedside.  thank goodness for the dancing and the singing - one small thing to mention though is Owner's sudden looming dislike for the new judge that is Shirlee.  personally I don't mind a few snapping and snarlings and that was just Bruno folks, and I'm sure she is still finding her tootsies.  Darcy is as purry and furry as ever.  We love her.X

 

I think this silly old diary went and published itself before I had finished my round up folks! but there we are it is all done except for Owner's tribute to the Dahncing - that is said in Aunty Craig's best voice!!  herewith is Brian and Amy from the Wizard of Oz, if I only had a brain and we love themXXXX

 

There they are!! One of our faves you see, along with Jonnie and Oti and Mollie and AJ too.XX

 

It is a big week coming up as Owner is popping to see daughter and grandson before they whisk off to live in the Netherlands!! near to Eindhoven they will be so Owner has promised to drive there when she visits.  IT CAN'T be that hard she droned to me.....I am giving all you good folks over there a good furry heads up and to watch the roads when she does.  I know.X

 

Now do go onto have a thrilling week yourselves next week when you get to it.  Pounce on it for all you are worth and give it a good claw jab if it tries to escape!! Big Love Wonka X

 

 



Get the Autum Look!!

Howdy up folks and are you in the MODE?? What Mode is that Wonka you all whisper up not really awake yet never mind reading my very best blog. AUTUMN mode that is what.X

Owner has been trying on her entire autumn wardrobe which is made of bits of her Winter, Spring and Summer clothes. All messed about and layered and wotnot.  THIS WILL HAVE TO DO Wonka she tells me up (I was having a few well earned zzzzzzzz so may not have paid full attention folks...X).

it turns out that Owner feels fat and ugly in all seasons folks and I have my work cut out CUT OUT to find the right compliment. I mean.XXXX

 

 

There we are!! Now me and Ruggles don't see eye to eye on much (hisssssss grrrrrr) but when Owner says things like ' IS MY TUMMY REALLY THAT STICKY OUTY?? it is best to lurk under the table and out of earshot and everything.XXXX

 

So possibly folks Owner has got the Autumn look and I have reassured her that those really expensive boots that go with hardly anything that is de rien folks - they look the BIZ.XX ps it is too late to take them back she has worn them and squirted them with that protection thingy. Who Owner...I droned to her...would know?? I know she goes back to me and that is End Of.X

 

What else Wonka you ask me up, raising your voices a notch, has happened.  Bertrude, who is already costing Owner a small fortune alright bending the credit card then - well she went and got cat flu.  And, did so on a Sundee when NOTHING is opened.  Owner had listened to her sneezing and snuffling in the night and by morning was a nervous wreck pacing up and down until she hit on the expensive idea of calling a vet during closed hours. I KNOW.  we all may as well pack up our meagre belongings and get on the next coach to sconny botland who might let us in if they haven't divorced from little ingerland by then.  YOU DO REALISE droned the vet on call, THAT THIS IS OUT OF HOURS.  Oh yes she goes all merry and bright.  Off they go to the closed surgery and Bertrude comes back having had two of the most expensive injections they have on their menu plus a new cartload of needles and insulin. IS SHE OK you all want to know.  Aside from sneezing and snuffling and poking her nose right in the pilchards (they smell so Owner got tins and tins and I hate the smell of them folks I do.X) she is sugar dandy.X

 

Me?? thanks for asking, well somehow between Owner's mood swings which swung yesterday dangerously (good word) low, I am alright and fitting in several zzzzzzzzzzzz the minute Owner chucks herself off.  yesterdee she did a surprise hospital visit and it was a surprise as the patient was leaving for home.  IT WAS A complete disaster Wonka she moaned up as she fell back in.  The thing is folks Owner had to drive miles to get there and did not even get a cup of tea whilst there.  It was the surprise from hell and the patient's husband was rude to Owner just to finish the poor visit off. I LOVE YOU! I shouted bearing in mind it was spot on tea time.  And even Rugggles did his best to show some love by half hissing at me instead of full on. The moral of the tale is thus: try to get as much info as poss before you spring any surprises.  End of.XX

 

The really big news of the week was Tresa Greybot got a frog in her throat during the story conference I mean Tory shebang and all felt sorry for her even more.  It was all POOR TRESA it could happen to anyone and STOP PICKING on our good PM.  it seems only yesterdee folks all were saying that about Jezzer who is still laying low on his vegetable patch.  yes there is Vinnie but where??X

 

On the telly we are entranced with Strictly and sticking with our best faves that is Jonnie and Oti PLUS Debbie and Gio who Owner still not sure about but is coping with.  NOT SO Staycee who is either going mad again or half mad.  Either way Owner cannot abide it.  In Corrie Reetah had her OP and the Tumour is no more BUT it may have spread..... nasty Feelan is still on the rampage for new victims he is so nasty we hate him he has even crept into a care home.... I DON'T LIKE that storyline says Owner thinking of her own aged parent.  it is only make believe I whispered from round the corner in the dark secret hidey..........XX

 

Well folks it is all systems go next week as Owner must be brave at the dentist,  This is nigh on impossible but we live hopefully.  if you have to face up to something you do not like folks, remember to FLUFF UP YOUR FUR and look that thing in the eye!! Big Love Wonka XX