Saturday 25 November 2017

Coping with REJECTION! x

NOW WHAT Wonka you all wonder up in your dreamy Satdee states.  The clue folks, is in the title of this good post.  If at first, you trip up and fall over your paws, then TRY TRY Again!!!
Or, to put it in Owner's new fave phrase (that I dare not say to her right now) Fall Down Today, Get back up Tomorrow!!X

Has she got back up yet Wonka you all whisper to me? having a giant cold and feeling old daft and ugly is not helping folks. I have tried saying things like ME RUGGLES and BERTIE love you!  so does the ageds PLUS some others, some of the time.  I know that, she drones to me sneezing into the toilet roll and then blowing her nose for 5 mins.  Better to have that cold now I goes to her, rather than over the festive season.  I know that, she says making another mug of hot orange and cramming down some more tablets. I mean, I am trying folks really hard but when Owner is on zero setting, my work is cut out.X


 
 
Everyone swears by honey and lemon and Owner is no stranger to swearing .....I mean the recipe for colds!! X
 
Does this mean Wonka, she did not get the job she could do in her sleep with hands tied etc.  yes folks that is right.  Now normally, most folk would take it on the chin and say things like - it just wasn't for me, OR, it is not my moment, OR ke serah serah, but Owner is more dramatic and handed her notice in instead.  I did ask how we would all fare come the new year but she was too busy zooming down to zero mood setting to tell me.  BUT her hair has finally gone right AND she is busy being a creative bee, with a new sketch here and talk of going to the printers there.... All to play for Owner I shouted! from the safety of my best hidey.  I love it.
 
Now do listen up, as Owner supports a new charity called Tiny Tim or something like that. anyhow all the details are on this good cartoon and if you donate even a tiny miniscule amount it will help stray mums and their Kits to be, OR newborn Kits.  X
 


 
There we are!! Owner quite cheered up doing this cartoon so I do hope you like it too.XX
 
In the silly old world of pollytics where people like Boris get paid for having a bad hairdo and talking nonsense, we had a budget (?) we heard more brexit on toast and deadlines and such and we also caught a snippet of Jezzer and how angry he was about something.  This means he must be fed up with his allotment and is now turning his attention to the big garden of the united kingdom.  Well we must be united about something...............  Donwald the Trump is still in the white house or on a golf course, and Tresa May is still at No 10. somehow folks we have dragged through another year of tory rhubarb.  Where will it end? (soon I hope shouted Owner! x)
 
On the telly, we have soldiered on with Corrie and nasty Feelan has persuaded SEb who surely must need a brain scan now, that Anna shoved him off the ladder, whilst appearing in the street at practically the same time to call an ambulance for him (?) we have soldiered on with Robert telling everyone to shove off when they wanted to help him and now he has lost Ten thou in a poker game. Will Meechelle still luv him lots?  It rather stretches it to think she will droned Owner who for some reason has latched onto Enders.  is it because it is now Staycee light?  Strictly continues to enthrall us and we so want Davood and Nadiya to win it.  Owner has not warmed to Alexandra and gorka and it is too late now.....my best fave is Susan and kevin I love them. In the Hex Factor it should be RakSu wot wins it as they are the BIZ,X
 
Next Satdee it will be December folks and time for a relentless count down to the Big Day that is Christmas day.  I will be trying hard to be Christmassy EVEN if Owner is still bemoaning her fate. Don't forget this year is slightly put out by good daughter and grandson whipping over to the Netherlands and (so far....x) staying there.  SO no exchange of stockings and careful purchasing of things that will post!  it will all come right Owner I promised, just like Jimmy Stewart in 'It's a Wonderful Life ' X
 
Now next week (do I always say this up folks) cannot be a repeat of all the rejection of this week.  it must do better!! If Owner can survive family spats, job rejections, severe colds THEN it is all to play for.  Come on!!  Keep warm, check that fur out and maybe a tiny dab with the claw..... Big Love Wonka X


Saturday 18 November 2017

Feed The Birds!

NOW WHAT Wonka you all mutter to me, dozing away or simply sat around doing RIEN!! Owner has been fretting about the pigeons and yes those other more interesting little fluttery ones. (sparrows X).  since the old chap who lives further down that is to say, a garden but one away, has disappeared (gone into hospital, gone to the room next door, a road trip...................? x) the little feeder has been swinging around EMPTY of birdseed.  The pigeons all live on the roof of said old chap, and hunker down looking sorry for themselves. I MUST DO SOMETHING announced Owner last weekend.  personally I am all in favour of this as it means I have a close up view of them..............you could say it is a bird's eye view!!!! I know!!! X

 
Who is that Wonka?  Well it is not me folks no, it is the naughty clodagh bunny as Owner has named her (or him) and this folks is the danger to those pigeons....... I HAVE WARNED THEM says Owner, (X) to fly off at the slightest sign of any felines.  At the mo, Owner is sprinkling two tons of wild bird seed on a tiny brick shelf the other side of our good fence.  without reading any instructions we can all look forward to overweight pigeons quite soon.  I know X BUT as she insists on telling me, the delicate balancing act to get onto this small shelf will use up all that energy!!!! End of.X
 


In between fussing about the wildlife ME, Ruggles and Bertrude have managed to get on with our dailies quite nicely thank you.  Bertrude hasn't mentioned the lack of insulin (such a minute amount she won't notice it burbled Owner......X) and is trotting back and forth unassisted.  Just the odd hiss as I wander past, that's all folks.  Now Ruggles is beating me to it for the best seat by the searing hot rad.  The other night I was all comfy and snug and did he tap me on the leg with his paw!! Owner has made a big cartoon out of it and laughed for ages - I could not see the funny side and said so.X

In the wickedy world of what passes for politics Donwald the Trump continues to act without thinking and surely this is a skill most presidents have to offer? All but this latest one it seems and over here Tresa May keeps popping back and forth over to this place in Europe and the other muttering stuff about Brexit dates and no one in this household gives a fig.  We are concerned that Jezzer is on his own road trip or stuck on his allotment or something as it is just that horrid (Owner's thoughts well alright and mine. and rug and Bubster's) John Mcworrel or something very like it.  he keeps popping up and telling us what to do.  I DON'T LIKE HIM she droned to me folks and when Owner doesn't like someone............X

On the job front Owner has managed to get herself an interview for the job she thought she might or might not get.  if we were to make a list of Owner's pet hates having an interview would vie with (good use of word there if it is a word and I want it to be a word.X) going to the dentist for NUMERO UNO.  WHAT would be Owner's second - now this folks is tricky, as any message or communication from the family would count here OR noisy neighbours.  Forget the countdown from 3 - 10 as that is a blur of people eating and making a noise to running out of choc limes.
She is making an interview preparation list and I have said things like: keep it simple, don't wander off, don't answer questions 1 - 10 in the first question, don't tell jokes or be funny. At least Owner's hair is looking the biz and that could be the clincher.X

Over on the telly, Owner has been having a series of early nights which has meant missing the Apprentice (not a huge gap for us.X) but missing that nice new drama about a topknot.  SHALL I CATCH UP TODAY Wonka she mumbled to me and I said YES SIREE.  We are keeping pace with Corrie and Norris may be a Dad to thingy who has the Korner Shop now, thingy married the other thingy despite having a pash for Kate and Feelan is trying to form an alliance with Grandma to be Anna!! YES we watched Enders as Staycee has a small storyline and BEN has a big one getting mixed up with some nasties.  I want you to be happi! goes his Mum.  Fil may or may not sort it.  In Strictly we said cherio to our fave Ruthie and Anton, and herewith Owner's tribute to them.  it is Blackpool ballroom tonight and so there is a second cartoon for this as WE LOVE IT!! X
 
There they are!! foxtrotting into the sunset...........we loved them X
 


And there goes the coach of Strictly Tours heading for the Blackpool Ballroom!! See you all there later!X

So next week folks will have a new moon to see us through it, and if you have an interview for a new job DO put on your best furry purry look and smile, smile, smile!! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday 11 November 2017

Lest We Forget X

FOLKS, Listen up, it is Armistice Day all around the good World and all of us in this merry old household, treasure this  moment to Remember Them. X

 
There we are!  it is enshrined in this #conversations about Percy (to the left) and George (to the right) both Great Uncles to Owner, and both gave their lives for us, in WW1.  I know.  Their photos live in the study, and Percy is next to his Mum.  YES! Owner does talk to them as if they were here, but it is alright only I know about it and our beloved reader who is out there somewhere (like the song) reading all about it.  We love you!! X and if you feel like a change of readery, this book and all the others are to be hunted down and read on Smashwords.com
 
What else, in this momentous (phew) week has been going on?  The cousins arrived on Tuesdee and were whisked into this goodly home and made very welcome indeed.By me. Ruggles hid under the red settee that was his first and best hidey and only came out in the deep of night to use the facilities and eat.  Bertrude did the same thing only from under the bed.But it was alright as the two cousins thought I was grand! (isn't he a big cat! OOOHHH!!) then it was a mad whirling two days whilst Owner whirled to work, whirled home and whirled out again.  We loved it, and it is sad they are not here enjoying our beauty homestead.X
 
 
For some reason, Boris the foreign something is holding onto his post in the cabinet whilst all others are falling like ninepins.  He is stuck there like a piece of resistant wrigleys. Even Jezzer (who?) has not laid off so many of his ministers lately.  Give it time shouted Owner give it time!! Vinnie may or may not still be leading up those pesky lib dems but he is as quiet as a mouse about it. Donwald the Trump is clinging onto his post despite a million allegations but no one PERSONNE has said You're Fired as yet.  We live in hope folks.X
 
Sound of Klaxon and drum roll: why is that you all shout at me impatient for some gossip!  Owner is poised to apply for an internal vacancy that she thinks has her name written through it. I'll either get it or I won't she droned to me.  I did say, with all your aeons of experience and skills it would be a poor show if you weren't first in line but she didn't hear me above being philosophical and wotnot.It's those poor students who I worry about..........X
 
Over on the telly front it has been a week for catching up.  We are all square with Enders and it's been a good week as Stacee has stayed out of it.  We've had silly old Meeshell and Shazzer and little Janet who was run over by thingy who had a one night stand with Billy but NO ONE must tell his wifey.  I know.  Other than this it is a matter of keeping pace with Corrie where Anna may or may not have been arrested for that GBH thing against Seb, Mary might have frightened off her new found familee and Aiden may have pounced on his next victim mistaking  outright friendliness for much much more.  As this is quite topical at the moment especially in the glittering world of show biz and politics (same thing X) we like it as a relevant storyline.  Owner did point that out to me or was it the other way round?X
 

 
We all sit down for It Takes Two with the joyful Zoe Ball and our faves to win now are Davood and Nadiya.  Aston was ejected last week amid OUTCRIES and such like.  Here is Owner's tribute to him and his partner.X
 
 

 
There they are!! DID NOT DESERVE to go out before this week and the Blackpool week!!! X
 
Over on the hex Factor all is pretty well predictable.  Owner is clinging to the groups which are good this year AND there is lots of news about Dancin on Ice too. At this rate Owner I did say to her, you will have no time to write a new story.....she did listen to me for a change and muttered about having started it....it is the new Sea Shanty one folks. And, I will keep telling her about it, as it won't write itself!!! (or will it?X)
 
Next week is just around the gatepost folks, and will it be as thrilling as this one?  It could far surpass it!! In which case put your best furry coat on, give yourself a good wash round and best paw forward!! Big Love Wonka X
 


Saturday 4 November 2017

Wonka Time!

YES SIREE!! When it is Satdee, and when it is round about this time then it is WONKA TIME XXXX
 
Here I am!! pause for imaginary applause and shouts of WE LOVE YOU WONKA XXXXX  Well a cat can dream................
 
 
 
How was your week out there in the wicked sometimes downright disappointing world folks??  I have to say since you are asking MY week was good.  A little checking here, a little mucking about with ruggles there and A LOT of looking at Bertrude there.  NO she doesn't like being looked at for some reason.  I mean.X
 
 
Now as for Owner, there is a LOT as purr to report.  First up was the dingly dangly job of invigilating folks.  WHY OH WHY does she pop herself in line for these pesky troublesome jobs.  this one had TRUBLE written all over it and it all went funny on Wednesdee.  Personally I put it all down to Scorpio and the full moon folks and I am not usually wrong.  Did Owner get herself over it you all shout up at me?  YES she did, saying things like, these things happen Wonka, and it wasn't their fault that I WAS RIGHT and they had to apologise later.  I know.There are two more exams for Owner to carry on being gracious about and then we can all stand down.  Sigh.X
 
 
What else has happened?  The good vets who charge a fortune if we just mention Bertrude's name has only gone and run out of her insulin pen thingy wotsits and want Owner to fool around with a bottle of very expensive insulin and some needles.  DO I LOOK LIKE A VET? she goes to the nice vet assistant, who luckily didn't try to answer that....after a fruitless search in the known universe alright the other vets, no nice insulin capsule that slots into the very expensive pen can be found.  After a brief phone call with the Vet who tried hard (7 out of 10) to convince Owner it was the bottle or nothing, Owner decided on nothing. IF ANYTHING DRAMATIC happens to Bertrude she droned we will rethink.  I suspect folks that once the nice vet came off the phone he will have wanted a shot of something too.X
 
 
There she is!! and folks don't worry as Owner droned to aged parent yesterdee there is really no difference between Bertrude on her miniscule amount of insulin or when she isn't.  Too much about the Vets and not enough about the Pets she says!! X
 
ME?? thanks for asking, I am chipper and since being waltzed off to the vets for my booster as fit as the fleas I haven't got.X
 
In the confusing world of politics it really isn't clear folks who is in charge of the country as they are all busy resigning.  We think Tresa Grey is fairly busy NOT issuing details of brexit on toast so we all know what has been happening and NOT getting on with anyone and NOT appearing on any tv programmes where she has to talk or tell us stuff.  she has told a few people off though.  As for Jezzer we think he is somewhere and Vinnie has been quoted a few times saying things for the good.  Really folks, and as you know, we live in trubbled and confusing times.X  ps I haven't mentioned Donwald the Trump and I'm not going to.X
 
In Corrie Anna has been arrested for pushing Seb off a ladder when all she did was rush to help him.  Is Feelan behind it YES because he is so bad he is behind everything in that street.  She was interviewed as quick as you like AND there is that corroborating evidence thingy. Owner particularly liked Kevin's face when Anna said she had a row with Feelan who got her in a headlock and that is how she lost her earring which then turned up as the big piece of evidence meaning she had done it!!!!!!!! Phew!! In Enders and probably the main reason Owner has not sunk to mood setting zero is that Staycee has gone moaning off into an invisible room and instead we had those sisters who hate each other hating each other plus those girls throwing aside their really ace boyfriends for imaginary better ones.  I know.  We are clinging onto Strictly and want Davood to win out and Owner thinks he will (BIG TIP OF THE DAY) we are cuddling up to Hex Factor and the groups AND there is the nail biting gunpowder folks.  it is violent, it is all chasings and dungeons and torture and WE LOVE IT.
 
The big news for next week is that Owner's cousins are landing.  This has meant a total spring clean in October and November and goodness knows where I can find my best toys. Ruggles will go into hiding and Bertrude will not know any difference which is exactly her approach to all of it.  There may be a secret philosophy hidden under the bed with her, and if there is folks you can trust me to check it out.
 
It was raining, but now it has stopped and taken on the mantle (get me) of a nice day.  Owner has announced she is doing DE RIEN as this is her new Satdee routine.  Fridee is the new Satdee where she flies round annoying I mean visiting the ageds and shopping.  You have all been warned. The end.X
 
Do enjoy your satdees whatever they are full of folks, and next week surely will be the week of our dreams - it has to happen!!
Put your best paw forward and bristle those whiskers!! Big Love Wonka X