Saturday, 25 February 2017

The Same but Different!

Halloah up!!!Howdy folks and BONJOUR!!

Yes, she is back AND looks more or less the same. ARE YOU SURE Wonka?? you all wonder seeing as she has crossed the Atlantic ocean, been up the Empire State Building, floated on the river to see the Statue of Liberty, been to Webster Hall and gazed at a hitherto unknown singer called #HarrisonKipner (WHO?  I know folks, none of us knew him before. More on this later.....X), been in yellow cabs, been on the subway, been on a greyhound bus thingy wotsit, asked the NYCP (?) for advice and MUCH MUCH more. 

SO although she looks the same and speaks the same (well she did say to me, Wonka, what's your status?? I replied starving as per.X) Owner has returned to this tiny windswept isle with attitude folks,X
There we are! Owner is wearing her new shades that cost a fortune in the duty free shop at Newark Airport. I know. But they are that new reflecting sort of style that NO ONE Personne, will be wearing in our neck of the sea, and that folks, is what counts.X
YES we all missed Owner and tried to remain clean and tidy. Bertie made endless trips to the facilities and Owner immediately washed up all our trays, all our dishes, all our mats and bedding AND then sat down. Hours later it was. After we had all been fed twice.  I love it.X
DID SHE meet anyone Wonka?  Folks she met the world and his wife or should I say husband or just plain partner. Big folks, small folks, Black folks, white folks and downright American folks.  She left our new story in a Library in Murray St, downtown New York, she left a copy of our new story in the Metropolitan Museum, 5th Ave (for their good book dept to consider.X) and gave the last copy to a lady called Angela on the same flight home. Someone, will read it.X

There it is again!! I must say I am proud to have been transported to New York City for others to admire AND READ! also very proud of Owner for speaking up. That takes a lot of courage Owner I says to her, and was rewarded with a small appetiser of fresh fish meant for Bertie. X
On the Mundee morning, that she was due to fly home, did she take the subway to Brooklyn and walk back in dazzling sunshine and deep blue skies, over the bridge to downtown new York.  From there folks, she took the subway to Wall St AND VISITED the Trump Building where #austinmacauley publishers live on the 28th floor. DID SHE GET IN Wonka? you all worry and fuss. NO. They said she could be a security threat (all five feet of her) and mustn't come up BUT a lady called MaryAnne trundled down and saw Owner in the lobby.  THAT'S SOMETHING Wonka you all chirp up, and Owner agrees it is better than de rien. AND, the good receptionist who was a black American took a photo of Owner AND the new story: Wonka Presents! An Egyptian Tale. we love him. X
Back home it has been stormy beyond stormy and ME, Ruggles and Bertie are glad to be inside.X

Owner tried to watch some American TV but could only find Fox News which seemed to be all about Donwald the Trump who has been busy undoing all the progress made over the last one hundred years or so.  Could even be longer.  And some folks think this is a good thing.  Even Bertie who is set against Brexit has the time to set himself against this too.X
We have caught up with Corrie and Steve has declared himself to be the father of Leeanne's babe. This made Meechelle go funny and throw things and hit out.  So far she has not fallen into the arms of thingy but give it time.Owner is hoping she has not missed Feelan falling foul of his lies and murderous ways and I did say to her that's what happens when you pop to New York for the weekend but she didn't hear me above catching up with Casualtee and the Nurseys.x
Who knows what the week ahead will bring?  OH YES it will bring pancake day, MARCH and the next bit of the term at college. Do have a good week all you windswept folks out there and keep you fur UNRUFFLED and cuddley. Til next time BIG Love Wonka X
PS #HarrisonKipner sang for an hour or thereabouts and put up with a few of the audience shouting get off and where is Ric (Mr Astley) Owner assures me she was not one of them and blames a rowdy bunch of nearby Brits for letting the side down.  She still loves #ricastley even though he took ages to make his appearance.X

Thursday, 16 February 2017

The Time Is Now!

Howdy up folks and all I ask really is PLEASE LOOK AFTER OWNER!! She is going wild in New York tomorrow and must be looked after every step of the way AS I AM MISSING HER already.  yes, even though she has not disappeared off just yet.  Every time she pops out I say HAVEYOU BEEN YET?
 Not Yet Wonka she goes back to me still laden down with a year's supply of catfood, fresh fish (for Bertie. I know) fresh chicken for Ruggles (I know) and ordinary common garden cat food for me.

ONLY JOKING! I am chief tester for all food that comes through the front door.  End of.
There she is! Surrounded by heavy but within the checking weighing everything elsing limits!!! Folks they have all been treble checked by my good self and I CAN ASSURE you there is nothing to report other than a good supply of make up. (I Know) and sweets. TICK X

My best Aunties will be coming to look after ME oh alright and Bertie and Rug and I am looking forward to a bit of spoiling.  As you know Owner doesn't notice me sometimes, and I am not easy to overlook either.X

Owner is busy downloading apps for this and apps for that and all I can say is we need a Wonka App!!! which would bounce folks straight to this diary thingy wotosit to our best stories and really anything which caught my fancy.  Who knows, it could even catch on.

I am leaving you with that fab sketch of Owner flinging through the skies and will restore this good blog to all its glory upon her return. you will be pleased to know she has the phone number of the good publishers Austin Macauley who only got themselves an office in Wall Street New York city!! I have asked for an autograph from then AND Mr Rick Astley if he would be so kind..............X

In the meantime folks, do try and live it up a little!!! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 11 February 2017

Almost there!!!

Almost where Wonka!! you all shout at me in a daze of happiness it being the weekend and all..............

Owner has been mucking about with bags and clothes and itinerary thingies ....every time she has crawled back through the new front door laden with cat food and supplies of cat litter to last us FOREVER gasping for a cup of tea I have stood firm and asked up:

NOTYETWONKA she says as she crawls past me to get to the kettle.  X

I tell you folks we are surrounded in paperwork and lists and demands YES demands from my best auntie that is Owner's daughter for very specific food items. Owner has spent hours in the maze like supermarket with her glasses on, inspecting food labels. and coming home with one small item of so called food that does not have any food in it.  I mean.X

In other more interesting news, Owner who never goes to the Doctors for anything has been there twice this week. I CANnot reveal the first visit as I have been told NO Wonka - no one PERSONNE needs that information but I can reveal the second visit was due to a rash. Caused we think, by hair product!!

There she is!! it looks lovely set off with a nice red rash!! X

YOU WOULD BE ILL ADVISED droned the Nursie to my Owner TO USE THAT PRODUCT again. Rightio says Owner clutching her prescription for rash cream tightly.  HAs it gone yet Wonka you all wonder up suddenly interested in Owner's upper chest.  Nearly folks.  But here's the best thing of all and it concerns The Car With No Name.................(sounds of a car revving up, crunching gears and the curious smell of burning...)X
There it is!! gleaming and twinkling after a nice clean. But that was a year or so ago......X
WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT Wonka you all whisper up nervous that it is a Big End OR the Alternator thingie OR ......yes that is it folks, the good garage who look after Owner's car with no name relentlessly now, say I CAN SMELL that burning from here and it is your clutch.OH NO Wonka you all say up with fear in your voices as the next question is HOW MUCH and folks you don't want to know.  Owner is trundling in with it next week and it is to live in the garage until she returns from New York New York. X
You will all want to know if Owner is visiting Trump Towers even just out of a teeny weeny bit of interest and the jury folks is out.  A BIT like all the tooing and froing between courts that Donwald is experiencing this week!!  Back here on our tiny isle the present government is mucking around with votes about this and that AND Jezzer is protesting in a whisper. I know X
The latest dilemma for Owner is (aside from her rash ridden head X) is what coat to take.  Whilst she has been messing about with this (to me) unimportant question, I have been keeping a close eye on Ruggles and Bertie.  Especially their food.  Now Bertie is on a full on fish diet I don't see why I can't have some too. Owner persists in thinking it is cutting down on his trip trap visits to the facilities but I CANNOT see any difference. Ruggles keeps appearing downstairs when I am downstairs too and I am trying to be a chum to him. yes. sort of. X
Back on telly land Owner is fed up with some of the storylines especially Chez's missis shacking up with that strange lad who says (I know.x) he is Ken's son.  WHAT IF Owner droned to me HE IS AN IMPOSTER.  What I says, like Anastasia was you mean? (showing off my vast knowledge.X) Not as interesting as that she goes back to me.  Tonight we will cling once more to two yes two reality shows that have singing in them.  An exhausting schedule but somehow we must stand it.  Owner still likes Mr Kemp and put up with the endless energy of Lulu nicely.X
At College Owner is just about managing to get through despite endless accounting that mirrors her own endless accounting at home.  Then it is the BIG TRIP and half term folks which is going to be a heck of a week then.  I shall probably have a half term break myself BUT will let you know if I do.X
Wrap up warm in your big fur coats and remember to PURR nicely to all those problem people!! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 4 February 2017

Happy days!

WHY? or Pourquoi as you are fond of saying up folks, are you so happy and jollified Wonka?  LIST UP!

1.  Our new story is out there amongst the world and it is a KNOWN fact that at least three people will read of them is our number one fan, called Phoebe.

There it is!! and now, now that Owner has risen up from her zero setting (moaning up and all gloomified it was) she is as positive as I am.  Well alright nearly as positive then.  No One PERSONNE can be as upbeat as I am about everything folks..............X
2.  A well known book store that is in the world and not in the sky, MIGHT host an event for Owner to be at.  You would have thought Owner was to attend a Hollywood special event OR go on a red carpet or wotnot by the excitement and naturally folks the first thing she thought of was her hair.  I CANNOT, she droned to me GO TO ANYTHING looking like personally folks, I thought her hair looked alright, well passable, and at least it wasn't all sticking up or anything BUT guess what? YES that is it folks, she has only gone and dyed it.  It is now a new and exciting shade of honey blonde/ginger.  I have not pointed out the latter shade although I do love a gingertop!!! X

3.  It is only two weeks until Owner lands in New York and gets to see Rick Astley at the Webster Hall.  yes really.  We are now on the fine packing side of things and what she will take (her entire wardrobe) and what I advise she takes (sensible things for staying comfy and warm AND a couple of fancy going out things.  She has now settled on the WHAT IF I CAN'T WAKE up to the alarm.  This has never happened before folks and I have suggested popping several alarms around the bed or in it.X

4.  We are still living in a democracy.  end of.X

 Television wise Owner has clung to the soaps despite developing a dislike for TOYAHHHH in Corrie.  I don't like her Wonka! I mean I knew that already and blimey she hasn't done much to annoy Owner really.  Is it her name Owner? I says out of interest and it being close to a snack stop....POSSIBLY she goes back to me.  That and her annoying character...over in Enders, there is also much to annoy us.  Characters that survived the bus crash and shouldn't have for instance.X

We are still cuddling up to Gazzer's Let It Shine and Mr Kemp, is an unlikely hero for us now.  Owner has settled on him for being fair and honest.  We cannot folks ask for more than this.  Which leads us nicely to the main topic of news infact has it just taken over all the news channels now?  I AM SICK OF HEARING his name she squawked up to me and we all know who it is.............. back in our tiny isle Tresa Maybe has managed to let us all down by not standing up to things that are wrong!  As for Jezzer, he is not worth finishing this sentence for.X

Owner has just had a word with me about being so political...SHE LIKES IT!!! Very Proud...

Now the usual things occurred at work like Owner stomping around and telling people off AND going on a big coach trip to the Deep in that city of culture HULL.  Was she alright Wonka? you all ask nervously thinking of her hair and did she like her outfit and wotnot.  She came back smiling and reports that she is never clambering up 8 flights of stairs ever again.  I did say why didn't you take the lift Owner but with her eyesight she will have missed the huge sign warning her about the stairs..............she brought back a penguin............BROOCH!!! and again with her eyesight it has been on her jumper upside down.  Not to fret folks, as no one we think noticed.X

Now a new and exciting week may be ahead of us AND so far we are liking the year of the Rooster.  Puff yourselves up folks, and GET out there and start enjoying yourselves!!  OH YES you want to know about Ruggles as we had a slight tiff in the night (WONKA! goes Owner in the deep of the night...x) but we have made up now....and Bertie is liking it on his new and very expensive fish diet. it means less trips to the facilities.  I know.X

Do have a wondrous week folks and keep that fur shining!
Big Love Wonka X