Monday, 31 March 2014

Moody Mundee

Wonka here.  Yes it was me and Owner to say HALLO MUNDEE and up very early too.  Why is this I says to Owner, who has tossed and turned about all of the night.  Says.  Me? thanks for asking, slept like a top and cannot relate to those grumbling about half sleep, or no sleep or 2 inches of sleep either. Owner says getting up at nearly dawn as good heating engineer calling to service very old but good boiler at nine.  did he turn up at nine you wonder good folks out there probably with equally good boilers?  DID HE HECK.  But and here's the thing, Owner said to herself, well I was listening, BE PATIENT.  This usually means going funny at a slower rate.  Owner was nice and kind when he did turn up an hour or so later and even made him a strong coffee.  WILL IT TAKE LONG she goes the nth of a second between him coming through the good front door and meeting up with the good and old boiler.   NO TIME.  he says straight back and I did think well he will be used to moody customers.  I was of course at the top of the stairs because he might have been the Viking invasion.  I love it.

Fresh moody para.  I put it down to tiredness I said to Owner when she stomped back in going on about anti social behaviour.  What the little people I went?  The big people she said back and luckily did not hear me say were you rude as she was unpacking the several boxes, tins and pouches of cat food ready for all of us.  Why not have a little sit down on my giant nest aka the settee I suggested, and do you know folks it worked a treat.  I didn't hear another moody thing for a good hour.  Mind you it was so warm and snug (thanks heating!! ) I may have dropped off.  Now good and growly Ruggles called for breakfast but there is a medium alert out for Mr Beau.  We have seen Bertie, and even a fleeting glimpse of Tinkers but no Mr Beau.  For today's photoshoot it is a mystery.  And here it is: Oh yes, thanks Owner!!  it is me having a little peck at the plants, there is the best one to the right a sort of mini yucca thingy wotsit and to the left is a fern which I am rather partial to.  Owner says things like.  STOP IT.  and PACK IT UP.  but I do need my greens and sometimes Owner forgets the cat grass. (from behind the door).  There is another smaller cartoon of this and I will see if we can find it and fly it up top.  I love it!!

Final moody para.  Are you still moody Owner I said in a whisper really and she said IT IS JUST IT IS MUNDEE...... we know we know.  But all is well, Owner has checked that Aged parent is still knocking back the tablets and telling the nurses how to nurse and is planning another expedition on Wednesdee.  In the meantime, Owner now has to search for a good and non cancelling Dentist.  This may be a quest on a par with the holy grail but I will keep you informed good folks.   Tonight I am hoping for some Corrie action as the storylines are all hot hot hot.  Kev the mechanic who can knock Owner right out of the park for moodiness, has swung back to kind mechanic and the builders are all heading for a showdown.  It is Babehs galorious with Carla and Tina both sporting eyebrows to fence with..  We dread to think what Enders will come up with and pray for Masood to finally get a look in with save the square Jane.  And as for the coffin we fear it will continue to haunt Dot even in the laundrette if she is in there.  I haven't mentioned foxy and roxy and I'm not going to.  Do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Mothering Sundee

Wonka here.  That hour has a lot to answer for good folks out there!  some of you are blissfully unaware that we silly old British people have to muck around with the HOUR!  so last night I said to Owner DON'T FORGET THE HOUR....round we go adjusting this watch and that clock and then we get to the beloved timer in the cupboard that masterminds the entire heating.  And this to Owner, is SACROSANCT (says this is near enough the word she means).  It must operate at all times.  She twizzles it round and says WONKA have I done it right and I said to double check it.  Owner loves a double check.  All is well and we got up an hour later and poor Ruggles who know nothing of these lost hours was out there waiting for his chomp.  We love him.

Fresh Mother's Day para.  yes here it is that day of the year when (list) 1.  You wish you had a Mother 2. You wish you didn't have a Mother (!!) and 3.  You are fed up with a Day for this and a Day for that and say in a moany voice IT IS ALL A BIG MUNNY MAKING SCHEME.  And I say that is the capitalist society for you, and Owner says this is an excellent answer to most questions and thinks MARX may have started that ball rolling.  However, in this house as you all know Aged parent, that is Mother, is giving them all hell in the hospital and Owner is set to visit.  DO YOU HAVE THE CARD owner I goes?  YES AND THE CHOCS she said to reassure me.  We love her.  most of the time...........

Fresh and enduring para.  Now lest we forget what other day it is, it is (blare of the trumpets!)
**************OWNER'S BOOK SLOT OF THE WEEK!!*********************

And here it is good folks............. 

Mary Poppins!!  By P L Travers..............

Does anyone out there not know of this good story??  there were more than one as Mary Poppins did come and go into the children's lives usually when needed most.  Her companion was Bert, and she was hired to be nanny to Jane and Michael Banks and the twins John and Barbara.  The thing is, she was magical and someone that we would all like to sail into our lives - she famously says 'I'll stay until the wind changes'...... at no 17 Cherry Tree Lane, with her carpet bag and secret medicines.  Owner's copy of this good book is illustrated by Mary Shepard and Owner got very excited when she read the dedication from her copy, which is Collins 1960 reprint.  It says: 
1875 - 1928

And what a good day to discover this I went........ Here is the back cover which I shall fly up top!!  It shows off all four children and the famous Mary Poppin's bag.  We love it.

Final mothering para.  Owner sauntered back in from stressful visit to aged parent made all the more stressful by having aged sibling in tow.  SHE LOVED THE CARDS goes Owner and reports that Mother made jokes albeit (says OK word to use) at her expense.  Meaning I goes?  I WAS THE BUTT OF THE JOKE said Owner who was still alright and smiling and at no point good folks have I had to hide under beds or round doors!!  It seems that when Owner arrived back in this street aka motorway express and stairway to the heavens alright I am exaggerating she cruised along with an ice cream van behind her and a driving instructor car behind that and goodness what coming towards her.  She spied a space and indicated nicely to the right and over she goes to do a wotsit park.  The ice cream van is also being a nice van and stops to let her do the reverse into this minute I have to tell you space.  WONKA IT WAS A PERFECT PARK she says.  The nice cream van shot off on its way possibly to an ice cream emergency, but the driving instructor looks over at Owner and gives her the nod!!   I WAS VERY PROUD she said.  And I am too!!!  It is not often Owner is praised for her parking and many a time I have had to pretend I didn't see it from the good bay window at front!!  She didn't notice me putting that folks so we can stand easy.  Now tonight I have checked and there is nothing at all on to suit Mother's Day.  I don't think The woman in Black or white or whatever colour it is, is the right thing so we may still watch Escape Plan.  I did say May............  We are all hoping for a week to suit our dreams and so do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it.
Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 29 March 2014

Gnoming Satdee!

Wonka here.  Just lately Mr Beau is turning up of an evening, helping himself to our facilities and then after some deliberation taking off again.  At least I know good and growly Ruggles is not stopping.  So I have broken the routine by not going into my giant spare nest of a night, but tucking under Owner's bed.  From here I can see any invaders straight off but still remain OUT OF SIGHT.  This means I could if I were to be brave rush at them and bite them on the ankle.  Or give them a nasty scratch instead of wasting it all on Owner.  of course there aren't any invaders!!  Just giving it some thought.  We came too nicely if a little early for a LIE IN DAY.  Owner said when she tramped downstairs.  IS IT ONLY 7?  I was too busy knocking against all the pouches and biscuits to notice and I did say can you hurry up with my breakfast but she may not have heard me above the tap running.  I love it.

Fresh para to break the news.  What news you say, relaxing on this still freezing where we are Satdee.?  KNOCK KNOCK at the good front door.  WHO COULD THAT BE goes Owner from the depths of the kitchen.  is it the invaders I wondered from the safety of the top of the stairs?  It was the good postman with a big box.  THANKYOU she goes and puts it on the table.  I know you are all thinking was it ticking etc.....but Owner is not silly NO, she saw a little label on it which said it was from her very best friend who she went to PARIS with.  One of the three.  Eventually Owner does open it.  We were both on tenterhooks (what are they?) to see the surprise inside and the note said that good friend had overheard Owner saying how much she needed this for her good back yard.  YES IT IS A FRIENDLY GNOME plus watering can.  And here is a photoshoot and  sketch:  I have flown the cartoon up top, as he is now being friendly in the back yard and has a little bit of lavender in his pot.  he is next to ladybird and tortoise and we can see him from the best window, it is my best look out from the sideboard.   This photo folks, is the box!! and last up is a photo of our good gnome on the side before he was popped out back.............Isn't he just the ticket!! and just to the right folks you can see a bit of the beauty ceramic frog made by daughter and the note beneath him is from good friend.  it really did make Owner smile and be happy which is of course the main job of any good gnome.  I do think good folks out there that the magic of MOO continues to work...................

Final happy gnoming para.  Now owner is on about going off to the happy place for an hour or so, and thankfully this will give me a chance to have a proper rest up.  it has been all go so far, with Owner doing this and doing that and I've hardly had time to think!!  We got through the soap offerings last night and can report a fleeting appearance by Masood, or at least his waterproof postie jacket which seemed to have a bigger part than he did. Jane is studiously ignoring him (like that word) which is what happens in real life Owner said, when you like someone that they do not know you are there, that you are very intelligent and very attractive etc.  it doesn't help said Owner that if you do really like someone you then come across as daft bordering on crazy, only able to speak in words of one syllabub (not sure on that but Owner says near enough).  So really it's all back to Shakespeare for some lessons on love, for Masood that is, as Jane is simply not aware you exist.  Business man and erstwhile homeless Ian is in the happy position of appealing to half the women on the square at the minute but this could change.  There are other love trysty things going on but some of them  are to do with roxy and foxy and they just murder anyone they don't like so.  over on Corrie things were hardly improved with eyebrows to die for Carla making big babeh decisions and born again Christian Owen can't hold gearing up for a fight Gazzer a moment longer.  And Stella stella says is leaving for New York.  Aren't we all said Owner.  tonight is the big night of THE VOICE and Owner is complaining that Marvin stroke Marlin is too good looking and how can anyone be as perfect as he is.  I said there will be a downside but I cannot think what it is yet.  Sir Tom is the master of the one syllabub and his fave word is GREAT.  Kylie is busy looking good, Willyam is also keen with the one word thing and his is DOPE.  I mean the last we knew this word could also mean you are an idiot stroke dope.  But there we are a bit old fashioned.  We do love Rickeeeee and he can conversate.  Must dash as time for my snooze before the tea time sittings!

Real final para.   Owner has jived back in says had the fastest swim of her life and I goes HOW COME and she says because she SAW SOMEONE SHE KNEW and wished she could have swum into an invisible tunnel.  What did you do instead I goes back?  PRETENDED I HADN'T SEEN HIM! she said.  Now I have used this tactic many a time with the odd cat and I must say it is very confounding for the one who is being ignored as they are thinking here I am, YOOHOO!  But we all know that Owner is a master at these situations.  When in doubt, either pretend you are invisible or they are!! We love it.  Now Rug sped in for his first sitting closely followed by Dr Doolittle.  Somehow Owner managed the situation so that none of us scrapped, growled or had to go invisible.  We are set for the night and even tmro is set to be alright (another hospital visit with aged sibling - it is all systems go in this house folks).  Now do go steady yourselves out there in the Wold wherever you are in it and sometimes, it is OK to pretend you are invisible just like you did when you were a child.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 28 March 2014

Finally Fridee!

Wonka here.  Another dull and rainy start to the day but it is Fridee! Owner reports a few dreams here and there melted away like candyfloss except for the one about Aged Parent's brother at the door peering through it.  Personally I think that is a throw back from good Corrie and Les Dennis's bungle burglar.  Owner says she seemed to live in a much bigger house with a good size garden and most important, quote A GOOD SECURE BACK GATE.  Well we all need one of those I said straight away, but was it a good sign do you think, this brother turning up?  NOT IN A MILLION YEARS she said.  Families!  We love them.

Secure and safe para.  Now it has been a bit of a week to say nothing more, and it has fairly well worn me out.   I have been on call as you know dishing out firm but fair advice, giving the odd bit of sympathy, telling Owner she looks alright and you know the trouble we have with the hair.  so all in all, what with having to cut back on requests for more food and not saying I DON'T LIKE THAT ONE or THE NEXT ONE that gets put down - well it is exhausting.  Mr Beau?  I have fallen out with him as he waltzs in (spelling) says he is hungry, leaves it, eats mine, flops down in my best amazon box, growls up at me when I say that is my box get out of it, and then asks to go back out!!!  Owner was too dazed to notice really and when she crept back in with more food (for me) and said the little people were on their best and how marvellous etc and she was just going to sit still for a minute on my giant nest aka the settee. Naturally  I made a little space at the end.  Now for our photoshoot, Owner thought you might want one of her sketches of me in my amazon box, when I can get in it!!  There I am dreaming away peacefully and not a Mr Beau in sight.  I love it.

Final Fridee para.  last night of course we had to suffer not one but two Enders.  How we got through it I'll never know, as Dot spent an hour being mournful and telling all off.  Jane as predicted saved the square with a little bible reading and THE COFFIN played a major part.  If you ask me, it has taken away all that Masood had to offer and he wants to complain that a piece of wood is getting more lines and attention.  To say it was all mildly annoying is, to quote Owner NOT GOING THERE.  There is a villain, no two counting the coffin bearer, and a lot of meaningful looks.  Even Shazzer and roxy et al tried to be kindly with all and it simply does not work.   Tonight we may go on strike with it even though THE COFFIN has pretended to go west.  Who knows it could make a return like the rest of Enders cast list said Owner.  I can only agree.  But luckily there is Corrie, and born again Christian Owen looked likely to fall off his perch against bully boy builder.  And then the storyline of the two women in married for the nth time Peter' sorry life may get going.  We love it.  Big Ruggles is due for his teatime any minute now so I must dash to check.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it and specially with it being the weekend.  Big Love Wonka x


Thursday, 27 March 2014

Magic MOO Thursdee

Wonka here.   The east wind doth blow folks and - well the rest of that saying says - and we shall have snow!  and Owner goes OH NO!  I like a bit of poetry to start the day.  Now Mr Beau Beau bleated to go out yesterdee eve and Owner goes, IT IS RAINING out there, do you really want to go out, and he just sits there and stares out at it.  Ten minutes later, he makes the decision to go out.  No wonder our heating bills are enormous I mumbled from a few rooms away, but Owner didn't hear me above the kettle on.  So just me and Owner rising up to meet the day, I had a nice cuddle and a gentle game of bite Owner's foot through the duvet.  We love it!

As promised para:  yesterdee, it was traumatic (Owner said) and all sorts going on.  Aged parent was shipped off to hospital and Owner is set to visit today.  ARE YOU ALRIGHT Owner I goes, once I'd been fed and looked after in every respect.  READY TO GO she says.  Now for our photoshoot you have a treat.  Owner did promise more on MOO and here it is!!  I have flown it up top AND, made it bigger too!!

Fresh exciting para.  and there is more on MOO.  This good folks out there is how it all began and Owner did write it down..  it happened just like we said with Owner trundling along in the skylark with good grandson, both in low spirits and then!  MOO came into their lives, courtesy of the numberplate on the car in front..... you cannot see as it is fuzzy but, Owner wrote it all down just like people do when they have a proper VISION and entered into a competition in a well known book shop.  you can see sort of it says WHAT's YOUR STORY?  And Owner faithfully reported on MOO and how he could make you laugh and lift your spirits.  and the mantra is MOO is Powerful, MOO knows all (best bit) MOO will catch you when you fall.  We love it and hope it has at the very least made you smile folks out there in the Wold.

Final newsy para:  Masterchef delivered bigtime last night and Owner's fave is Roberto he looks like a chef he looks like a winner (she goes) and he uses Smash pretend potato.  it is on tonight and I am thanking our lucky stars or MOO.  I did whisper to Owner that Enders is on not once but twice and how I can fend this off I do not know.  I can try some diversion tactics like asking repeatedly for more food, a change of luxury cat litter, is that Mr Beau or best Rug out back, but can I keep it up for an hour?? I may have to write in.  If nasty nick is to rise up from the dead we may have to turn over.  Masood may come to the rescue as someone is listening to us (at last) and forming a love story for him with good and kindly Jane who seems to be saving all single handed.  We love her.

Real final and Magic Moo para.  What you say is this magic.. first off (list) when Owner returned from long journey to visit aged parent in hospital 1.  She says a miracle may have happened to Aged Parent's leg and foot as it is bandaged to the nines and may yet be saved (thanks be to MOO) and second off, and this really is an out and out miracle folks.  When Owner had parked up the car with no name and tramped for what always seems miles when you need to be there and it is raining, she checks in her good and beauty pink bag for mobile no 1.  IT IS NOT THERE.  she gets to the hospital at last and is sure they moved it further away, and sits down and empties entire bag.  IT IS STILL NOT THERE.  Aged parent who is now mostly happy all the time (thanks be to the tablets says Owner, and of course I am keeping a note of what they are in case Owner......) said the only doom ridden thing of the visit when Owner reports missing mobile.  OH DEAR she went, and Perhaps there is a lesson there....Remarkably, Owner did not go on a giant worrywart, but sped back to the car with no name thinking please mobile no 1, be in the car.  and guess what folks out there? Some kind angel possibly prompted by MOO had placed Owner's mobile against the windscreen wipers on the car.  Owner is FULL OF GRATITUDE.   and last but well worth a mention is that a little prayer in advance to MOO will often find you that parking space you badly need.  Oh yes.  So really good folks, we cannot moan a second longer as today has had some full on magic.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big love Wonka x

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Upside down Wednesdee

Wonka here.  up at the crack of dawn as Owner has a busy bee schedule.  DOING? I enquired whilst having a good morning tummy tick.  APPTS with aged parent, whizzing off to my little people, maybe popping to a shop and then onto aged sibling says Owner in one breath.  I do have to say Owner can be very organised.  or, as she likes to say ON IT.  We love it.  Just me and Owner for breakfast, Ruggles sniffed a plate of best good as it looks and darted off on his rounds.  Mr Beau bleated to go out last night and hasn't called back as yet.  I love him.

Busy bee Para.  because Owner said, and after I tell you the day she has had you will know why, we are showing you a bit more Mavericks: and here is the cover of their best In Time CD plus an extra special photoshoot I have flown up top.... what is that you say?  it is a small selection of Owner's best CDs with a cow on the top.  But it is not just any old cow, it is MOO.  who, you say patiently, is MOO.  Well he stroke she came into being when Owner was once driving in the beloved skylark with best Grandson.  The car in front was called MOO and Owner suddenly realised that MOO could be an ancient God or the God, just about in charge of everything and all we ever have to do is follow MOO and ask MOO.  Grandson thought it a great idea and so do I.  so that is why good folks, he is on view and tomorrow Owner might consent to me showing you a small sketch of God MOO.  I did suggest in a quiet and respectful voice that she might like to have a FAVE CD SLOT of the week???  she is thinking on it.   Just at the back of Moo there is our photoshoot of a Rainbow.   If you look closely it is a double rainbow.  I love it.

Fresh and topsy-turvy para.  Now what has happened to Owner then you say.  She did go with aged parent to an appt as planned but then aged parent admitted to hospital and this was not planned.  How did you cope with that I said to Owner when she crept back in later on (plus shopping!  what an angel I have for an Owner!).  I coped, said Owner, BY BEING RUDE TO EVERYONE.  Did you leave anyone out I whispered from behind the door?  The ambulance men deserve a medal she goes back.  Right, I said.  Now other things to help Owner cope are chocolate, more chocolate and a small glass of vino.  that and Corrie X 1 plus, and here is the best news of the day.  Masterchef is back .  ~this made Owner smile and look normal.  thankfully we can stand easy as Enders is not on and last night was to quote Owner bordering on the ridiculous as the coffin with nasty nick in it (or not) fell off the stand and an arm dangled out.   Owner thought that nasty nick himself would then worm himself up off the ground and be nasty in person but she may have missed that bit.  You will want an update on the menagerie all feeding and wotnot and using this house like a hotel.  Mr Beau not been sighted as yet, Rug not been for his tea as yet.  But all the food gone in the luxury shed so Bertie is sticking rigidly to his routine.  We love him.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it and I am here of course to make sure Owner stays on it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Worth it Tuesdee!

Wonka here.  the three of us, just the three of us (singing) so that is Owner, me and Mr Beau.   Yes he stayed the night, the usual bed and board and guess what? No that isn't it!!  Good Ruggles sprang in yesterdee eve and jumped onto the good linen box and fell asleep.  This is unheard of good folks as we all know he is a bag of nerves just like Owner.  We left him to snooze for a good two hours with me safe on the other side of the kitchen to dining room door!  I was able to lay right up to it though!  So that was an exciting evening to round off Owner's stressful and racked up to the nines cancelled out day.  We woke up feeling fair to middling, and got ourselves assembled for breakfast nicely and then I spoilt it by scrapping with Mr Beau.  PACK IT UP goes Owner and after the third time I did.  I think I was saying this is my home Mr Beau and I was here first.  Owner cleared up the little white tufts of fur and said honestly Wonka!  and are you alright Mr Beau?  and WAS IT WORTH IT??  I am sorry Mr Beau and I was just showing off.  I love him.

Fresh full of value Para.  What is this worth you are saying.  Owner said it means standing up for yourself because you are worth it, worth it.  OH I goes back.  And yes of course Owner has done this very thing and you will want to know where.  At the good (?) dentist practice.  WAS THAT WISE I said when she strode back in with two tons of catfood (thank goodness).   She is on about finding a new Dentist and I said from behind the door so she may not have heard me, I only hope you have not shot yourself in the foot Owner, or is it boxed yourself into a corner?  Either way we all know it is hopeless to challenge Owner when she is on a mission.  So full of energy and worth, Owner has shipshaped Aged parent's care thus.  There is a new appt tomorrow (cancel it if you dare!) and a new appt the following day.  Aged Parent was heard to utter the words confused but Owner simply said to take ONE DAY AT A TIME.  I may have to take my days under the bed at this rate I goes but she didn't hear me above the new washer on ECO FAST WASH.  We love it.  For our good and well worth it cartoon there is Mr Beau to make up for me scrapping him.  for some reason this good blog is letting us resize the cartoons so here it is on the left on SMALL setting.

Final good value para.  Owner has got the Mavericks blaring out with their new CD In Time and I have to say it will grow on me at this rate.  She loves it and as we know happy Owner = happy household.  Now for a treat I said I will watch that escape plan film the explosive one if Enders is too silly and Holby city has gone off the boil.  We didn't see it last night as low and behold our fave Les Dennis turned up in corrie!!  He was a bungly burglar and we loved it!  He put his face up to the kitchen window in a very non menacing way and then trots in to take stuff while  they are all still in the room!! otherwise it was all about tempting tina and cheatin Pete with a little bit of Carla and the mechanic to wash it down with.  Happily Owner cannot recall Enders at all. Except for Staycee and her forlorn expression.   Bring back Masood Owner says, and even Shazzer and her chimneysweep son.  We will see.  Now Mr Beau has popped out and so too Ruggles, and Bertie was sighted calling into the luxury shed for some fast food.  Tomorrow is another day folks and do remember YOU ARE WORTH IT whatever it is.  Go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x 

Monday, 24 March 2014

Cancellation Mundee

Wonka here.  Best thing about today folks?  it was sunny from start to end.  And to quote Owner, END OF.  Now we did set off alright and even Mr Frosty (don't ask) aka Mr Beau who had laid, quote, inert for the entire night, came to life and had a teaspoonful of breakfast before flopping back down again on a random spot in Owner's best bedroom.  Do I mind?  Do I say anything?  NOT I.  I have to take a leaf out of beloved and departed to the next room Golly, who was kind and loving and LET ME IN.  ~so I must try to do the same.  Owner says there is a word for this Emulate.  RIGHTO I said back, anything to make her smile good folks out there.  I am trying to love it.

Not cancelled para.  Yes you have guessed it folks, if there was an appointment lurking around being good and waiting to be turned up or waited in for it got CANCELLED.  By phone and by letter.  Owner said (shouted) They will send a pigeon with the next one!  or do it by Text!  or just not tell me!!! (I was well out of the way for this one) OR LET ME TURN UP and then say.  I happen to know this has happened to Owner, at the good Dentist.  yes.  perhaps not so good Dentist.  So between that and Aged parent's appointments we are fair worn out.   To make some small attempt to cheer Owner on I said what about one of you BRILLIANT and not cancelled cartoons?  But instead of cheering her on, she goes YES what if I Cancelled my cartoons and just stopped doing them??? THEN WHAT.  It is alright, I have soothed Owner back down by promising to watch this film that I reckon will not live up to its rating.  What is it you ask?  it is ESCAPE PLAN (I need one!! only joking!!) with our beloved Arnie and not so beloved Sylvester.  it says, quote: non stop THRILLS & EXPLOSIVE ACTION. unquote.   I did say  I thought we were having this without the film but it was from well behind the door in a tiny whisper, so hopefully Owner did not hear me. This is my last attempt to cheer her up good folks.  It is OWNER'S SELFIE and in the background is the crooner to end all crooners (until he got cancelled).  I love it.

Final on time para.  Luckily folks when Owner crept back in a few good things had happened.  List.  1.  her job is fine and the little people were so good it spread to all the others.  2.  She found a parking space without having to be rude to anyone.  3.  I've forgotten what it is but there will be something.  Oh yes.  I am here to offer advice and wisdom from under or over the bed.  Now tonight as well as that film, we could watch Corrie x 2 and hope for some explosive action there and now the mechanic kev is back we could get some.  Thingy is called Tim who is Sally's current fling ooh that rhymed and what else oh the other thingy who is partners with Dev in the gym is keen on Leanne.  Not her Mum.  and waiting in the wings to go off with a bang is Carla who is always on a short fuse and so is Tina.  It is really not sensible to watch Enders especially if Staycee is on for more than 2 seconds.  ~We'll see and I will update you all good folks tomorrow.  Now remember it is not the end of the world to have things cancelled and Owner's stars said to follow her intuition and signs.  And I said that doesn't mean being horrid to anyone Owner!  She did smile so may be back to normal setting.  Hmmm.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it folks.  Big love Wonka x

Sunday, 23 March 2014

Soft Sundee

Wonka here.  Owner said on waking up this is warm and snuggly is it time to get up and then I heard nothing more for another hour or so.  This is lovely said Owner when she woke up x 2, and we had tummy tickle followed by chase the foot.  I ask you is there a better way to wake up?  I love it.  We cruised downstairs and popped good Radio 2 on, no it is not Hardeep it is good Claire balding no she is not really she has a good head of hair!   just my little joke Claire!  Rug did call for his breakfast before off on his rounds but no sign of Dr Doolittle aka Mr Beau aka Mr Beaujangles.  I love him.

Soft and gentle para.  Owner's mood has reset itself good folks out there and I would say it is a soft setting.  yes.  She is smiling and sunny natured, and I said is it the new would be vegan diet Owner.   POSSIBLY she goes.  or, I said, is it the swimming.  COULD BE, she goes.  Owner is now swimming twice a week and eventually, quote, there MUST BE A DIFFERENCE, says Owner.  I goes, is it how much food you cram down when you come back but she didn't hear me above the Fast Eco Wash.  if I am in love with Mr Beau, Owner is in love with the Eco washes.  Without further ado folks, it is time yet again for ****************OWNER'S BOOK SLOT***************

Fresh book slot para.  And here it is: It is THOMASINA by PAUL GALLICO.........
Thomasina is a cat 'beloved of Mary Ruadh' and she does tell the story.  it is about life, death and .....Owner says you must read it, as Mr Gallico is a master storyteller - anyone who can bring us to tears and back again is telling a story we want to hear.  There is a film of this good story too and Owner remembers Susan Hampshire was in it, and the little girl Mary was played by a young Scottish actress.  And the cat you say?  As you know Owner has loved us felines all her life, and any story with a cat in it...........Do read this if you can says Owner, and learn about broken hearts and how to mend them.  She loves it.

Final and softly softly para.  Today folks has glided by like a dream, with Owner going about things in such a fashion, painting and doing.  Painting what you say?  Owner is proud to mention that she has the Cover of the Easter Story all ready, and lots of other sketches to go with the Story.  All will be revealed!!  Now last night we did see some of The Voice after owner returned from the happy place and her swim.  I might, she goes, watch it again.  Luckily I can cope with this as anything must be better than the films I am having to watch on good Film 4.  the first one was about destiny and she had to meet this chap with a certain name and she had to go all the way to Rome to find him.  I did say to Owner is that where you are going next, and if you can't fall in love in Rome where can you..but she didn't hear me above the next film which has a similar plotline only it is set in New York.  We think.  Even the heroine is uttering love lorn lines.  I have begged to turn over to watch something sensible like good countryfile with the doom ridden weatherforecast for the WEEK AHEAD but Owner has gone a bit dreamy.  have you gone soft in the head I said from behind the door in such a quiet voice I hardly heard myself say it.... she didn't hear me folks above the daft plotlines and dialogue.  Now good Rug has been for teatime and I was not allowed even a teensy glimpse after the incident with the claws.  ~~We have a small Mr Beau alert, but not tinkers who was sighted streaking in the direction of the luxury shed.  We love it.  Now do go steady in the Wold wherever you are in it, and let us have a perfect week.  Big love Wonka x

Saturday, 22 March 2014

Sleeting Satdee!

Wonka here.  first off for some unknown reason I did not jump on the bed this morning and Owner goes..WONKA WHERE ARE YOU.  I was actually only in the next room (not THAT next room) sleeping nicely.  I am just here I whispered back but she didn't hear me above getting up and stomping into the room.  Yes it may have been the fact that Mr Beau who stopped the night was up near Owner's head and that is one of my spots, but as for sulking and feeling left out good folks out there, MOI? I think not.  ~and of course I did get extra cuddles and tummy tickles etc.  I love it.

Fresh and sleeting para.  After a very creative start with Owner painting away as if all the time in the world, she goes is that the time Wonka?  YES I replied, as luckily I was still awake unlike Mr Beau who had flopped down at the top of the stairs, strangely just where Baba used to lay.  His inner workings are also a reminder here too.  I will have to flag it up to Owner that if he is staying we need another luxury cat tray.   Not today though, as when Owner returned from a Fraught visit (says) to aged parent and it was sleeting out there, I  decided to raise this matter later on, when Owner is back to sunny setting.  Were you a good visitor I whispered from behind the door?  I LOST MY PATIENCE goes Owner.  The sleet though has taken her mind off the visit and back to where it should be.  On us Cats.  I hope, she goes, that Ruggles has gone in the luxury shed.  Now last night, good teddy bear Ruggles trots in as per, has a chomp, as per and goes on the linen basket.  This is as long as his nerves hold out.  Between his nerves and Owner's nerves, it is very tense dear folks out there.  then it happened.  I could not resist creeping into the kitchen from the safety of the dining room just to sniff him on the foot.  next thing Owner does her checking thing, and sees that I am held fast by a claw, on the linen basket.  Actually, it was on a linen thing that Owner had draped over the basket.  For Ruggles, she said.  Well I was trapped, and Good Ruggles was growling at me, and I was growling back.  GOODNESS. said Owner and took action.  She decided to unhook my claw and risk 1.  me giving her a nasty scratch and 2.  Ruggles giving her a black eye and 3.  all of this happening.  but St Francis may have been watching as nothing happened except I ran away as fast as I could.  
Now the photoshoot which is flown up top, was a cartoon by Owner who is poised on the left to rescue me, with two paws stuck fast and there is good and giant Rug on the linen basket.  nerves ahoy!!   for some reason, the gods of google have made the sizing thing work and I have made the cartoon bigger.  I love it.

Final stopped sleeting para.  Owner has announced she is going back to the happy place to swim as it may quote de-stress her.  Well we look forward to that I said from behind the door.  Now tonight once all the sittings for tea and supper are done with there is The Voice and it is the 'lives' to use their words.  12 singers sing and then it is struck down to 4 (?) Owner says the rules are confusing and is it just her.  We think it is a lot of other people too.  But, we want jermain and sally to get through they are our faves.  Good casualtee is on and we trying to follow the ins and outs somehow.  There were two bruvverly doctors where is the other one owner said.  And why is thingy back with his wife and what about Tess.  it is a mystery except to Charlie nursey.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 21 March 2014

Spring Fridee!

Wonka here.  We even woke up feeling better, well Owner did saying things like I FEEL BETTER Wonka, and IT IS FRIDEE.  I think because it is Fridee Owner is recovered from everything, everything except Ender's storylines that is.  We love them.  Now to report, we did have Mr Beau on a sleep over from wherever else he lays down, and thankfully he was on his best.  he got up on the bed and Owner says she thought a fairy had landed.  When I got on to let Owner know it was getting up time she goes IS THAT YOU Wonka and OH YES IT IS.  I may be a tad more plump but it's pure muscle I can tell you.  So we all trotted downstairs nicely to greet this first day of Spring.  We love it.

Fresh and boing boing para.  So today Folks out there in the Wold, Owner is on normal setting and I can't tell you how good this is.  it meant she drove nicely and was not rude or violent to all the poor motorists out there,  she loved her job and said gave out two hugs to the little people plus was friendly and smiling to the staff (yes I found this one difficult to imagine....only joking Owner!!) and rounds it all off by bringing home plenty of extra food for me.   Now because it is a sunny and spring like day to go with the official thingymebob there follows a photoshoot from our humble back yard.  There it is up top!  A little trough with daffs in it and some lavender and that other thing....Owner thinks it is a herb.  So it is the herb with no name then Owner I goes.  IT WILL HAVE TO BE she says back.  It is spring like, and....We Love it!!

Final and normal para.   Due to Owner being back on track she has spun into action and I have had to hide on several occasions, (list).  1.  when she made too much noise doing a job and it was simply frightening. 2.  When she dug around in the black hole of Calcutta stroke cupboard under the stairs and found the monster (hoover) and plugged it in.  3.  I thought she was going to do something frightening.  So you see how busy I've been.  Now alongside that Mr Beau has been out come back in and been out again.  Owner has 'refreshed' the luxury shed, and found a small amount of free time to make herself some tea.  Oh and do a washing.  You will all be on the edge of your seat wanting to know what setting Owner has settled on....ECO WASH for synthetics that is what setting.  it is fast, efficient and energy saving to quote my Eco Warrier Owner!!  Of course I only call her an Eco Warrier when she is smiling and on normal setting otherwise folks it is from under the bed.  I did ask whether I could have seconds, approximately one minute after having my first serving of good as it looks but she may not have heard me above the Eco wash.  I love it.

Real and final spring para.  I need hardly say it but tonight thanks to beautiful and wonderful Sport Relief which raises millions of £s for our folks who need it, well because that is on....ENDERS is not on!!!  So Owner need not worry, fret or worse get annoyed by Staycee's limited facial expressions, Kat's excuse for lying through her teef in Court, and wondering why Janine who CAN ACT says Owner, was last seen at St Pancras International chatting up some random bloke!!!  Owner did get very excited when she saw the station and all I could hear was I'VE BEEN THERE and OH PARIS.  Over on Corrie x 2 we are looking forward to Kev's Return!!  he has a good build up and everyone who doesn't know him and those that do suspect he is on a short fuse most days except with Sally who is now shacked up with thingy who we've grown to like.  Specially since he understands Sofee and Maduh and drinks from cartons.  he is my new FAVE goes Owner.  Now do go steady seeing as it is the Weekend good Folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 20 March 2014

International Happi Day Thursdee!

Wonka here.   I am as you know a grounded, wisdom filled, Happi cat.  And all I can do really good folks out there is try to pass some of this over to Owner.  so I started off with the teeny weeny claw dabbed at Owner's mouth and I can be forgiven surely if it chanced on her bottom lip. all just to let her know it is a Brand New Day!  TRY NOT TO WAKE ME UP like that goes Owner, but with a smile and then we did play jump on Owner's moving foot for a few minutes.  Just me and Owner, as Mr Beau did come in last night and he used all the facilities.  YES.  There was a tiny clearing up session upstairs and downstairs before Owner let him out into the night.  It's no use though, as I am still in love with him, and Owner will be once she gets over herself.  I love it.

Fresh and happy para.  Owner jogged off out in a hurry as she had been busy sketching me and forgot the time.  GOODNESS she goes and flung off out.  Why is she sketching you ask?  Well why not!  No good folks, it is to be a new Cover for the next exciting Wonka story - Wonka's Easter Story to be precise.   I will let you know when it is up for reading and in the meantime, keep reading the others!  On: and that should take you to the latest one.

Another happi Para:  in honour of this good day and to keep Owner's happiness levels up we have first up a photoshoot of the ZEN for Happiness. don't you just love it!!   Flown up top as per. That little blue square is the Zen sign for happiness and we have it set on this for the week.  By the side to the left is a tiny bird which was a gift from Owner's Grandson.  it is a treasure.  and to the side of that is our best plant with delicate pink blossoms.  How happi is that??  Now the other photoshoot is an important one from yesterdee and it is the pyramids.   There they are!!  And this is straight off the kitchen wall folks.  The Pyramids of Giza from the 4th dynasty.  Owner has read the small print and it says each of the 2.5 million lime stone bricks to build the Great Pyramid of Cheops weighed  2.5 tonnes!!  And it was 480 foot high.  Blimey, I said just think of all those slaves hulking those stones about.  At least said Owner it was to build a magnificent and lasting monument that would inspire us all for millenniums beyond.  Well Owner I goes, if you put it like that.  We Love it.

Final Happi Para.   Owner said all the little people were happi and cannot recall any tears that is usually us grown ups she said.  There are no further demands for money as yet and according to all the news reports Pensioners are so silly they will just spend their pension in one shout.  GOOD ON THEM cheered Owner!  I did say, quietly, and from behind the door, that being generous and enjoying yourself is one thing but being a spendthrift and throwing money about is another, but luckily she didn't hear me above the good Radio 2.   I have not reported on Owner's cold X 2 because I don't go in for this sympathy nonsense, but she has gone on about it today saying things like IT IS IN MY BACK and other such.  I recommended carrying on as normal and so far this is working.  Rug was on his heated mat in the luxury shed this morn and called in for breakfast, whilst Mr Beau is yet to be sighted.  We did see Bertie yesterdee, sitting by the good gate.    We do like him, so far.

Real final and happiness ridden para.  Tonight folks it is you know what, yes Enders.  Goodness knows how this will affect the happiness levels and we are hoping for a glimmer of light.  What could it be?  Not Carol's cancer, and not Dot's new family member we are not sure if he is a step grandson and knowing Enders this could be it.  will Masood make a welcome return to pick up his character where it left off?  Who knows.  We fear it will be more of foxy and roxy and Kat at court with Alfee making faces at home.  I have not mentioned the other name (Staycee) as it will spoil Owner's evening.  Yes.   other than this good folks we are up a gum tree.  If Owner was in a parallel universe she would (quote) get a chauffer driven car all the way to a place called Goole to see Hardeep Singh Kohli who is doing a show there. he is funny and happi.  Owner loves him from afar.  Best place I said but she didn't hear me above the kettle.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it, and do be Happi while you are at it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Budget Day Wednesdee

Wonka here.   We came too nicely this morn and Owner even spent time playing my favourite game which is pounce on Owner's foot as if it is a mousey!!  I do have to remember not to bite through the coverlet and duvet though.  it is exciting and a good start to the day.  Also to report that Mr Beau decided to book in for the night and seeing as how I love him, this was music to my little furry ears.  he flops down and lays there and Owner being Owner checks to see if he is still breathing and usually he just stays in the same position for hours!! With Owner carefully stepping round him.  We love it.

Fresh and budget para.  yes it is budget day with that nice overgrown schoolboy George delivering news about this bit of pounds and that bit of pounds.  Owner's ears pricked up about the pension news which she sort of understood.  I said to Owner I said, let's face it Owner no one really understands the pension malarkey and all people want to know is have they got enough £s to live on with a bit extra for fun days out.   Owner received some monetary demands in the post and said straight off.  WE MUST CUT DOWN.  Honestly good folks out there have I not been dishing out this sound advice for months on end?  The figures always look more frightening on paper and to calm owner down I played with a few of my toys and laid in my Amazon box.  the best way to make Owner laugh though is when she cannot find me (I am usually under the bed) and says WONKA WHERE ARE YOU? and I suddenly appear like a race car rushing up the hallway.  It wears me out folks but as you know Happy Owner = Happy me.  For our photoshoot I did ask Owner to do a nice cartoon of the Cat God which had a little mention yesterdee to do with Mr Beau being in the clear (He is not missing cat Ozzie.). Here is our very own Cat God, Bastet to give it the real good Egyptian name:  flown up top, there she is, she guards our kitchen side and did have a chipped ear which Owner remodelled.  Owner says has had this god for thirty years and cannot imagine not having her there.  Those Egyptians knew a thing or too and fancy they are in our kitchen today.  Tomorrow, says Owner we could have a proper photoshoot of the Pyramids which are in our kitchen too.  On the wall good folks!  We love it.

final finance free para.  Owner trotted off to work and reports the little people were on their best but it seems to go a bit downhill for the not so little people.  it all went by in a blur she said.  When she fell back in with some further supplies for me and the others, she was singing three coins in a fountain.  Significance Owner I went?  AN ADVENTURE like the Paris one she goes back.  I did have a smallish sulk about being left in charge but rallied round after a bit of spoiling.  I also asked the important question of whether it could be afforded from behind the door but she was singing and may not have heard me.  Did we cope with Enders you want to know.  Only by doing something else and glancing at it now and then.  We saw foxy and Roxy in a room with Staycee who is still on with the same expression.  This is causing Owner a lot annoyance so I may have to write in.  The last we saw was Kat in Court.  In a witness box and goodness knows that can only mean trouble.  We have Corrie x 1 for tonight and the tension is mounting with kevin due to turn up and put a spanner in the works (just my little joke folks!) born again Christian Owen not rising to the bully boy bait not to mention Tina's tell all to whoever may listen threat.  We love it.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold specially if you are budgeting.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Testing Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Owner wakes up on good mood setting which really has lasted folks out there.  Was it a sun filled morning you ask?  it was overcast and drizzly.  did this dampen Owner's mood?  NOT ONE IOTA (we like that word we have never used it up to now).  Owner lay there all content and gave me a prolonged (nice one) tummy tickle before setting off downstairs.  I love it.

Fresh Para.  what is testing then you say.  We all know Owner's patience is shall we say not a big thing.  it can stretch for us felines, and for some humans too except if they are humans driving then it resets to zero.  all was jolly and joyful in Owner's world until she gets a phone call on the mobile held fast in her giant pink handbag.  For some reason the bag will often cling onto the mobile phone specially if it is an important and waited for phone call.  without her glasses on though Owner cannot tell who is ringing up to annoy her.  WHO WAS IT I goes.  it was the Dentist Practice (well sometimes they do) to tell me my appt for tmro was cancelled she goes.  This meant Owner's patience was TESTED.  And I have to live with this folks on a regular basis.  Now to calm us all down and remind Owner of  what a nice time she had on Satdee we have a little cartoon: Yes it is uptop - there is the car with no name on the journey to the new place!  Owner describes it as a reunion with herself.  it turns out good folks out there that it was a place she had been to before as a child, on her very first holiday with all the happy memories to go with it. There was Owner and her sibling plus Mum and Dad (now in heaven) and the rest just a blur of buckets and spades and fun.  Did you know it was that place before you went there I said.  NO she goes back, but I hoped it was.   She was starry eyed again and I love it.

Final testing testing para.  Well Enders tested Owner's patience so much last night she turned it over early.  We managed to watch Kat having a rest, foxy turning into a villain equal only to villain Phil, and Ian doing a good deed before it had to show us Staycee and Maxee.  This is when Owner's inch of patience gave out.  The good news to this folks is that Corrie made up for it bigtime.  Naughty toby jug has tempted thingy into a dangerous liaison and thingy was sort of happily in a straight relationship even though he is gay, yes.  Now he is back to gay setting we think.  Other news is that Sofee's Dad Kevin is coming back and everyone is on tenthooks about it.  specially Sally's chap who drinks out of cartons and understands Sofee.  It doesn't get better.  Tonight I'm not sure about letting Owner near the tv when Enders is on but we will watch the Holby city to see if their storylines have picked up.  Oh yes, rug popped for breakfast and is due for his tea and Mr Beau who is not Ozzie (thankyou Cat god) came and laid around for the best part of the day.  And ate all my tea.  I love him.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x


Monday, 17 March 2014

Mellow Mundee

Wonka here.  A fitful night spent here by Owner she reports.  Is it because it is Mundee morning I goes, because as you know I always sleep like a top and have not one little tiny worryjot in this good Wold.  POSSIBLY she goes back.  I only jumped on Owner's chest or back I cannot recall which once in the night and that was only to get to my best snuggly spot.  Whether this contributed (nice word that) to owner's fitful night I don't know as of course I was busy snuggling on down.  I love it.

Fresh and mellow para.  What is mellow you ask me?   Owner's mood on the moodometer is set between the Tom Hanks setting and full on dreamcity.  I am likening it to the new and as yet jury out on washer.  There is an exciting little birdy cheeping noise to tell us it is on or it is off and the light up screen with little symbols on it looks pretty and it is pretty, pretty confusing to quote good and bestist Owner.  It has been hard to hold her back from testing out another wash cycle but I have managed it by indicating I am starving on several occasions.  I do this by knocking every single pouch down from the line up, or one of those trays that cost a fortune (according to Owner they do and I must say you don't get much for your money out of them just a couple of munches really).  SHALL I WASH IT ON ECO WASH asks Owner holding up a couple of fairly clean looking socks.  I was busy eating and didn't reply straight off and when I next looked up to say have you checked the manual Owner, the washer was making a low droning noise and all lit up.  I did think Eco was a warrier not a washing cycle but what do I know??  for our photoshoot there is of course a little cartoon of said washer:  I have flown it up top as per, and there I am peering into the round window wondering just what is it doing.  Owner is to the right wanting to try out another setting. We love it.  We think.

Final mellow para.    Luckily despite being a bit come day go day Owner did go out, looked after the little people who were all on their best Mundee behaviour and then brought back a nice assortment of catfood incase I have gone off my good as it looks.  Hot news from yesterdee is that Mr Beau is NOT a cat called OZZIE which begs the question of who he really is.  he does take the prize for being the most laid back cat on the block, he makes ruggles look like a stress cat really, and my nerves as you know can be a bit stretched but I put that down to living with Owner.  I am still in love with Mr Beau or doctor Doo or whatever Owner calls him at the time.  Now tonight, as long as Owner is not doing another washing we shall be watching clean Corrie x 2 and Enders.  We must hold our breath and take it steady with Enders now that STaycee who we wanted to Gocee is in a hotel room with Maxee.  Owner is lamenting the lack of Masood and so am I.  In Corrie, sofee is still being friends with Maduh despite a lot of game playing and what have you.  Owner thinks Sofee will take up counselling as she seems to get right to the heart of everyone's hidden and secret psyches (Owner says this is a word and I like it.)  do have a good Mundee eve all of you out there in the wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x 

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Sunny all round Sundee

Wonka here.  Sun filled bedroom, all is peaceful all is nice and we drifted on down to start this good looking day.  Where is Ruggles goes Owner, he is not there but Bertie boy, the new usurper, who has overtaken Tinkerbelle at it, he is there bolting out of the shed and through the gate.  HE IS A CLEVER CLOG goes Owner, and I looked up from my third offering (not keen on the first two) to say IN WHAT REGARD?  he has got the hang of my routine visits to the luxury shed said Owner, quote unquote.  I love it.

Fresh and newsworthy para.  Owner reports a photoshoot on that good facebook of a missing cat that, and I quote, looks suspiciously like Mr Beau.  Have you told them I went??  YES says Owner, and she uploaded a photo of him too.  Like most good things that are lost the minute you say you have found them do they go missing immediately.  Ever since Owner thinks Mr Beau might instead be a cat called OZZIE (I did say if I was called Ozzie I would go missing but Owner didn't hear me above the drone of the washer) and posted a COMMENT to say as much, he has not been sighted.  No.  To take our minds of this and the fact that good Rug hasn't been round yet either I have said to Owner, Owner  it is ******************Owner's Book slot of the week slot!!!!*******************
It is a favourite book and also a film and even better, it is based on a true story folks:
The Incredible Journey, by Sheila Burnford.  This story is about Luath, a young Labrador, Tao, a Siamese cat and Bodger, a Bull Terrier.  Three Friends who go off together and on their incredible journey - Owner watched this film as a child and has loved it eversince.  Everytime there is a bull terrier dog it is Bodger.  There is the original film, says Owner (the best of course) and there is another one which is alright.  If you love animals, and specially us felines and canines, you will love this book.  We don't just love it, we ADORE it!!

Fresh and sunny para.  The only problem Owner said, about going to a new place, is that I missed American idol.  personally and you might agree with me folks out there in the Wold, I don't see any problem with missing Yo Dog, and 'that was a bit shouty' and YOU ARE THRU TO HOLLYWOOD (is that a forest somewhere?? just my little joke!!).  but then disaster has struck.  Channel 5 for some terrible reason has upset Owner.  How you say?  it has gone and 'dropped' Idol.  YES.  It let Owner watch all the way up to programme 13 (Unlucky for Owner) and then some random overpaid nitwit said I KNOW let's just stop putting this programme on that all are enjoying.  WOE.  Owner has complained on all known means of complaining and especially to me.  And if Channel 5 can't come up with any better excuse to drop one of Owner's faves then they should consider the IMPACT ON ME.  And no, we do not love Channel 5 or any its offspins like 5*.  Not until they put IDOL back on!!  What did Owner do you say?   Says she will have to now go out more.  Every cloud I said, from behind the door. 

final and last sunfilled para.  We did watch the voice but more WOE as wait for it, Owner disagreed with good and previously cannot put a foot wrong Kylie judge.  Kylie did not put thru sorry I mean through, a man called Femi something, who me and Owner strongly backed.  At the moment we are not friends with Kylie.  We are friends with sir Tom though as agreed with his three singers.  Tonight we must be more glued as there is more battling and choosing to do.  owner has been off out (again) swimming and shopping I said at this rate you will whittle away Owner!  Do I take that as a compliment she goes to me, YES I said.  I love her.  Together we have watched Rear window for the mnnth time because we love jimmy Stew and Grace Kelly in anything.  That was when they made proper films said Owner and judging by some of the offerings on CHANNEL 5 I have to agree.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold whether you are swimming, shopping, or filming it.  The new and good week approaches and let us all have a ready to rock one.  Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 15 March 2014

All New Satdee

Wonka here.   first up the weather.  it is dullish but warmish and that blustery blowy and chilly at times wind has dropped.  At least in the back yard.  owner reports a DECENT NIGHT.  Me? thanks for asking, well I started off on my big nest in the front room and finished off as per, jumping on Owner's chest.  She says I am like a herd of elephants and I beg to differ!  I love it.  All clear on the ruggles front as did he trot straight in for some tucker.  Only growled slightly when he thought he saw me.  I have to own up I am now hissing and growling back.  What is a cat to do?  You know I was taking the usual way out and as I have advised you good folks and that is to run away but sometimes folks you must FACE IT DOWN!  I was doing this nicely until Owner shut the good door between growling Rug and growling me.  STOP IT WONKA! she goes.  I mean, what about stop it Ruggles!!!  I love it even more.

Fresh and new para.  all change you wonder at....first thing to be new is the good washer.  it washed up its last load you recall and Owner went mad and bought a new one.  it is granite (colour) and Owner says she loves it and never mind the cost.   I realise Owner is slipping into reckless mode setting and think if there was a dial on Owner I would adjust it back to......pre reckless mode.  When Owner is in this mode mood thingy anything can happen good folks out there and I have my teatime to protect.   for today's photoshoot I asked for one of me because it is all about me.  There I am up top, just resting up with some of my toys, the giraffe and a mousey I think.  We love it.

new and final para.  Get this.  Owner loves her hair most of the time and if she isn't washing it, colouring it, putting product on it or looking at it she is at the hairdressers with it.  At precisely quarter to ten this morn Owner's mobile is ringing.  she answers it.  Even from the depths of the living room where I had been locked in yes LOCKED IN due to the delivery of the shiny new washer, I could hear the conversation go thus:  YES I AM FINE THANKYOU - HAIR APPT?  NOW? OH MY LORD......yes the unthinkable had happened.  Owner forgot a hair appt.  and if that doesn't prove Owner's erstwhile (like it like it) state of mind nothing can.  And because she has a clever beloved wonderful hairdresser called Lianne (we love her) Owner still had an appt.  When she released me and I had come out from under the bed, she said and I quote, I have never in my life forgotten such an appt Wonka.  NO I said back.   I did whisper about perhaps having a brain scan or taking some kind of GET A GRIP tablet but she didn't hear me above closing the front door.

Real new final para.  when she trots back in all attractive and wotnot and I had said how beautiful she looked, she swung into action with the new washer.   We are on the second wash and we love it.  And after the good hair appt Owner did visit aged parent.  did she notice your nice hair I said?  NO goes Owner but as she is still in some other land this did not matter.  Tonight Owner is going to a new place and says she is keeping an OPEN MIND.  What about me was my first thought?  We shall watch The voice and Casualtee goes Owner, and try and get over last night's viewing of Carol's cancer plus Staycee making a predictable and for Owner unwelcome further appearance.  Enders we love it.   Why couldn't Masood have a bigger part she goes.  As for Corrie, temptress tina is on the verge of telling all and good wife if not moany Carla is to have a corrie babe.  WOE.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it and specially if you have an appointment.  Big love Wonka x

Friday, 14 March 2014

Famous Fridee

Wonka here.  Owner wakes in the night and goes to me, Wonka I have a sore throat and feel ill.  OH NO I said as nicely as I could having been woken up out of a nice dream about........well something nice.  So we had to go downstairs to make drinks, and take tablets (not the Tom Hanks ones) and  had to have a munch on some of my good as it looks.  it might as well be morning Owner I went but she didn't hear me above the boiling kettle for a cup of healthy tea.  Then we had to resettle and it took me ages to fall back to my dream and Owner insisted on reading with the light on.  I love it.

Fresh and blowy para.  yes when we did get up for the second and proper time there was a COOL BREEZE as Owner called it.  and no Ruggles for breakfast so we are on a slight Ruggles Alert.  Not a full on one as he may trot round for tea.  Mr Beau has been round and made a yodelling noise to go back out but when Owner opens the poor back door letting in an almighty draught (I said Owner for goodness sake close it it is freezing) he just sits there looking out and doing nothing.  I ask you.  For today's photoshoot and in honour of yesterdee's moment on TV, we have some stamps.  STAMPS you say good folks out there, what is stamps to do with anything?  Bermuda is where the ancestors all came from, and Owner has kept all the stamps from some of the letters.  They are Owner's aged parent Mother on her maternal side.  yes. that is me underneath peeping out!  When Owner had to sort and sift through all the letters and photos and such, there were stamps and lots of them.   It used to be quite reasonable went Owner to post a letter.  There is nothing she said, like receiving a letter.  We love it.

Famous last para.  What is this famous thing you say, it is when someone had seen my beloved Owner on the telly and enjoyed it so much.  I thought I looked HIDEOUS goes Owner.  You are fishing for compliments I said from behind the door, and she did hear me and say YES!  The hideous thing I went on, is your second cold of the year.  We have been making pints of honey and lemon and downing lots of vitamin C in between feeding me, me and me again.  Owner has been out, seen to the little people as per, (they love a Fridee) come back in with just a tiny bag of shopping, full of food for me.  The chap who served Owner goes DO YOU HAVE A CAT? and they shared notes on their beloved pets.  I was proud.   Tonight if Owner can keep up we will have Corrie X 2 and Enders.  Temptress Tina is a trainwreck waiting to happen as lying Peter only loves himself and Carla is holding off on testing anything except Owner's patience.   Born again Christian Owen is like a boiler ready to blow and Sofee is in lerve with Maduh.  Now Owner has to say sorry here, even though I said it is an easy mistake to make, to muddle up any family on Enders, as they are famous for inventing new family members as and when.  so it isn't a bruvver to nasty and dead Nick it is a child to him.  Goodness me we lose our place for a moment and whole new branches of the family sprout up!  No wonder dot is confused.  JOIN THE CLUB goes on my second cold of the year Owner.  Now it is Fridee and the weekend is here so do go steady folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 13 March 2014

Momentous Thursdee

Wonka here.  Well there were two of us to wake Owner up this morning, there was Mr Beau who Owner described as a (quote) fairy on her chest and then me who Owner describes as a sack of spuds, I said to Owner that is so not fair etc.  I love it.  I think I am in love with Mr Beau because I did not eat my breakfast.  Mr Beau is not in love with anyone and ate his breakfast and then my breakfast.  I still love him and I laid in the amazon box straight after him.  Weatherwise a misty stroke foggy start as predicted and then the sun came out.  We love it.

Fresh listen to this para.   This has been a week of decision making, dreaming and stardom!  Today good folks out there was my very own Owner and her very own aged parent on a tv programme.  Did it annoy you I asked straight off once she burst back in full of herself.  Once I had got over the fact (she goes) that 1.  I hate my voice and 2.  I thought I was far more beautiful, younger and well more beautiful than that - I loved it.  quote unquote.  Owner watched it with aged parent both commenting and in Owner's case weeping slightly.  ARE YOU FAMOUS now I said?  Just in this house, she went back.  Now for our photoshoot to calm Owner right down and in fact remind her what this good blog is all about (ME ME ME AND MORE ME) we have a photoshoot of my current Beau!!! Just my little joke!   so I have flown it up top and it is Mr Beau on the table to the left, with a pot of daffs and some other bits and bobs what all live on the table and you will want to know that he is sitting on both forms.  that tiny little thing at the right hand side is a china donkey and cart.  I love it.

Finally final para.  As you recall Owner had dillied and dallied with the forms but today has taken a grip and got on with it.   I AM FED UP WITH THESE FORMS she said but kept going, and has supplied three million bits of info and evidence (says).  The little people were on their best and Owner reports at least two hugs which made her feel good plus fair play from the bigger people too.  Only one smallish purchase to mention and Owner made up for it by buying plenty of food for me and Rug and Beau.  Rug has been sitting on top of the step ladders in the yard and I have been able to stare out at him without fear of reprisal from the safety of the sideboard.  Indoors folks.  Tonight there is only Enders and goodness knows what Dot will do with the new bruvver of dead and dastardly Nick cotton.  Is it all a swizz?  Dot has been swizzed before.  Masood has disappeared and we fear for his character, it may be swamped by foxy Roxy and all.   Now Owner may slip back into dreamy mode at any moment so I must check on my food levels.  Take it steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Bumpy ride Wednesdee

Wonka here.  slept through, pleasant family ridden dreams says Owner in other words she did not shout in them (whisper) or run away (at a snail's pace).  The day began on a foggy note.  Mr Beau who had been sitting on the windy sill last night and would not come in , was on it for breakfast and did come in.  to keep him company last night, I laid on the good sideboard looking out the back yard and also the windy sill so he could see me.  Owner reports this was like Gerda and Kay in the Snow Queen as they looked out on each other from window to window.   But I said to Owner, I am a boy and so is Dr Doolittle aka Mr Beau, but Owner goes this is a modern day version.  RIGHTO I said.

Fresh bumpy para.  What is this you are on about you ask good folks out there, and what of dreamy Owner?  Owner is now back on the bumpy track of life.  it started with the second form and kept on going.   all we need now said Owner, and I quote, is for the other bits of paper to go with the form and I can send it off.  I can only pray these bits do turn up.  From who she requested.  Now much later on when Owner did return from her troubleshooting enterprise (get me!) with the little, medium and big people she had other things to report.  Before that we have a good photoshoot which brings you yesterdee's typical day in the kitchen.  We have called it THE WASHER GOES WEST and a typical kitchen.   there is the washer gone bad to the left snugged up to the good cooker, and over to the right is me bravely sitting near to Owner.  We love it.

Fresh and final para.  Owner strode back in the good front door so I knew immediately something was up.  She was not staggering under the weight of cat litter (new and strange lightweight my foot) cat food and a little bit of this and that for herself, no she was full of energy and a glint in her eye.  That dreamy, starry person of yesterdee has been replaced by a super woman I thought to myself.  ARE YOU ALRIGHT Owner I ventured from just behind the door and near to the stairs.  I HAVE BEEN SHOUTED AT she reported.  By a nasty bully boy equal to the likes of bully boy builder on Corrie, only this was real.  After I had said to Owner well whispered was that wise to confront a driver in the street it was only about parking the car with no name and so forth and what if this or that had happened, she did admit one thing.  I HAVE HIS NUMBERPLATE she goes and I told him to take his bullyboy ways off this street!  Needless to say I have doublechecked all the windows and doors and said a few prayers to round it off.  I wouldn't mind if we had an army of Vikings to back us up I said to Owner from under the bed, but I don't think she heard me above being warrior like in the kitchen.  I love it.

Real bumpy ride final para.   It's all about respect goes Owner,  you cannot be trodden down.  I must say there have been many times when Owner has trod on me good folks but you will understand me not bringing it to Owner's attention today.  Now where are those Tom Hanks tablets when you need them!  we survived Enders, just.  Dotty dot is just about to begin mourning her deadly and dead son Nick when goodness me Enders has grown another son who was his bruvverly bruvver.  Owner was too dreamy to be annoyed by this but give it time I say.  It is good Corrie tonight, and Peter barlow who is married yet again and to whiny voice Carla who might be having a little babe but never mind that he has said he loves temptress Tina!  HE IS LYING THROUGH HIS TEEF goes Owner, as she can spot a lie at a hundred metres which is why I never bother.  I am in love with Mr Beau sort of, and I do love Rug but from a distance and we never tell fibs we say how it is.  From under the bed usually.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Starry eye Tuesdee

Wonka here.  We have gradually shifted from being dreamy and not there to yes, that is it good folks, a starry eyed Owner.  Nothing is to stand in her way.  and I can hardly bring myself to say it but the credit card TAKES ALL THE CREDIT for this happening.  Why so you ask?  and what about the weather and the nature of your sleep?  Well I slept like a top thanks for asking and Owner reports some of her usual laying there like a beached whale waiting for sleep to overtake her  yes.  Then Up we got and started with the day at hand.  A sunny day at hand.  The form is still on the table joined with another form.  The second form has taken up some of Owner's short attention span which is equal to a gnat at the minute.  I love it.  As long as I am fed, fed, fed again, checked on, double checked on and played with and the whole thing started up all over again, Owner can be as dreamy and starry eyed as she likes.

Fresh para all about the card.  What is this you say?  First up did Owner put on a washing and disappear upstairs to do something.  I do think it was to do with the second form.  When she comes down she goes WHAT IS THAT BURNING SMELL and hang on (quote) the radio has gone off.  yes that's right folks, the fuse had gone.  Owner went into the black hole to tackle this fuse and tackled it right.  I did wonder if Owner would connect (no pun) the two events and finally, the truth of the matter seeped through into Owner's dreamy and starcrossed state.  The poor ten year old washer had washed (sort of) its last load.  WOE she goes.  Out comes the credit card which will shoulder the cost of a new one.  If only I thought, it stops there.  Did it stop there good folks?  OF COURSE NOT.  The photoshoot is a calming one of me and Mr Beau to divert my attention from the new balance on the card.  Here it is: There is me on the good nest stroke settee and Mr Beau is sprawled out below on the luxury carpet.   It should be catpet shouldn't it!!  I
do like my little joke especially when we are facing starvedom.  We have to love it.

final starry starry day para.  When Owner stumbled back in weighed down by bags of shopping and not a food shop in sight I tried my best to be kind and thoughtful but instead I may have blurted out BUT YOU DIDN'T NEED another one of those, or two of them and why have you bought more of..........of course I was saying all of this downstairs whilst Owner was upstairs trying everything on so she may not have heard me.  After I had admired all said how beautiful she looked in it and how young and how the heck are we going to manage, no I did not say the last bit I wisely thought it.  Owner is simply trusting she says in the powers of the Universe to help out.  In that nick of time thing I goes.  YES she said back.  Now tonight after all have been looked after with me first then Rug and then Beau Beau we may watch Enders.  Owner did not notice much last night except to comment that Roxy and Foxy have gone and done it now.  And Dot has got a small storyline about her nere do well son evil Nick cotton who has gone and died (not really).  Corrie kept up the relentless storyline of bullyboy builder against a somewhat wise and kind born again Christian Owen and set em up Gazzer. We loved it.  Goodness knows what storyline Enders will settle on tonight and perhaps Owner will get a grip whilst watching it.  Holby City is struggling with several bitty stories says Owner which just means she may have gone off it.  Temporarily, as there is nothing else on to go off.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in IT yes I did notice I forgot to put the it in yesterdee and it was Owner who focussed for two seconds to tell me.  big Love Wonka x

Monday, 10 March 2014

Dreamy Mundee

Wonka here.  Owner reports I bounced on her chest in the night and it was not warranted.  apart from saying what does that mean Owner I also said as quick as you like, 1.  I did not mean it 2.  what would have made that treble bounce on your ribs excusable deep in the night behaviour?  and Owner goes back I FORGIVE YOU.  but seriously folks I cannot remember jumping up and down on Owner's head or chest all I can think of is when I thought I saw a usurper cat in the yard whilst on bedroom window watch  in the deepest bit of the night, and may have taken a shortcut over the bed to get down the stairs for a good proper look.  IT IS STILL alright goes Owner who says had another good night's sleep with dreams to back it all up.  OH I went.  I love it.

Fresh and dreamified para.  Owner went through the day and still is in it in a dream if you ask me.  This big form is on the table and she says she is thinking it over. Quote.  Now usually this would take a good grip on the day and cause lots of anxiety ridden behaviour.  Like going through a million bits of paperwork to find one small item of information vital to the form, and having one cup of healthy tea after another.  and sweets.  but NO.  The form is still on the table being thought about.   What about a photoshoot I goes?  You choose she says back.  so here we are folks.   Perhaps you all remember when Owner watched Tom Hanks in a film X 2 and fell into such a benign mood I wouldn't mind having that in tablet form.  Tom Hanks Tablets!!!   Well this is the nearest thing to Owner's mood.  It is dreamy and SOMEWHERE else.  And in the good sketch there we are on my giant nest stroke settee glued to it.  Now Owner has been out do not worry, looked after a lot of little people who were extremely good for a Mundee she says, and even brought back some shopping.  Ruggles has been in twice and Mr Beau is busy chomping and doing his laid back thing in our dining room.   The golden ticket has arrived from Sheffield for Owner's DREAM made real to see a live snooker match and who knows our hero Ronnie O and so it is true good folks out there it really is a dreamy day for Owner.  We love it.

final half awake para.  We watched all the icey skaters doing their thing last night and if Hayles did not win she should have but Ray thingy swooped around the ice and won it all.  Torville and Dean our legends did it again and all cried.  then Owner watched the Midwife over on beeb one and cried solid through that.  We don't expect to cry at corrie x 2 or Enders x 1 not with these storylines.  In corrie we are waiting and holding our breath for Temptress Tina to wreak (??) her revenge on recovered alcoholic thrice or more married Peter.  Owen is not (on the list!) fighting back whilst gingertop post traumatic stress Gazzer wants to.  Oh and Sally and her basic boyfriend are drinking out of cartons whilst Sopheee is craze for Maduh stroke Madeee,  Enders may bring Owner out of the dream simply by being Enders.  Who knows what the storyline may bring.  foxy and roxy declaring they are sisters, Sharon being begged by rotten through and through Phil to stay with him and her chimney sweep son to stay too and if all that isn't enough we have the star of the show.....Carol's cancer.  We adore it.

Now do go steady all you dreamers out there in the Wold wherever you are in.  big love Wonka x