Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Disco Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Three times Owner says she dropped off last night and each time (she says) Bertie and me woke her up.  All I can say in my defence was, I possibly did go round and have a look at Bertie and is it my fault if he then goes into some over the top growling and hissing??  Furthermore (like it) is it my fault if Bertie kept growling for approx. 20 mins after that??  eh??  PACK IT UP! shouted Owner and this stopped me BUT Bertie, who was NOT told off, carried on growling.  I ask you. x

Disco dancing para.  Now what, you all shout up, is Owner up to?  Today Wonka, she reports to me when she skips back in, after another good day at work, today we went dancing.  It turns out good folks out there, that some people have the kind of jobs that don't feel like jobs because they are doing what they love!!! All the people at the centre went off to enjoy their morning dancing, and Owner, who normally WOULD NOT dance to that YMCA one OR that agado do do one, did so.  the only downside to this folks is having either tune on the brain for the rest of the day but she hasn't sung it yet.  I love it.

Dance the morning away para.  For our little cartoon I have let Owner choose and it is this:
 
There we are!!   and  that is Bertie bubb to the left and Rugglestop to the right; because Owner has had TWO nice days in a row she said IT MUST BE PASSED ON!!  so from us to you!  have a nice day too!! We love them x
 
Final disco disco para.  There is another fave pastime for the folk Owner is working with and it is Guess what?  NO that is not it, it is bingo.  And Owner says she took on the role of Caller.  When she was little, a million years ago ONLY JOKING, she called it Housey Housey and it was always played at Christmas and holidays.  Once Owner starts on these 'when I was little' stories, I usually drop off zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzOH!
 
Small and minute political news of the day sentence.  All we noticed was a small discussion at work about who to vote for. now.  and a party political broadcast by the Labour party who do know who to vote for.  THERE IS NO CHOICE they droned to us.
 
Last night we made it through Enders just about.  Cat went on a rampage thingy that involved burning a mattress and some money and Owner says that storyline is ridiculous.  I thought that was quite a mild criticism coming from Owner, who had to turn it off the other night because she could not stand the actress.  NO it was not Stacee.  In Corrie, we love them all and we especially like the allotment and the carrots.  Tracee is now revving up to a kingsize troublemaking episode and we love it.  I have promised on my best mousey and toy NOT to start up with Bertie smack on bedtime, and during all supervised contact with Rug NOT to look at him overmuch.  End of.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x
 


Monday, 30 March 2015

Newborn Mundee

Wonka here.  Without further ado or babblings (Owner that is.   ONLY JOKING Owner x) here is a photoshoot to make you all go AAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

 
 
There we are!!  and that good folks out there is a new born lamb from today!!!  Owner has visited a beauty farm in Hawood dale which she says, is only ten mins out of town.  And this little fella is new to the Wold!  bleating and baaaahhhing, we love him or her. x
 
New born para.  Nothing can beat a new born to the Wold, whether it be a lamb or a babe and it is a heart warming thing to witness drones Owner to me, all full of the joys of spring.  When I saw her off this morning, I was not sure how she would return....happy, feet dragging, or what?  I LOVED IT she goes to me all smiling, despite having to park miles away due to those bollards.  it turns out that people with less learning abilities than usual make up for this by being kind, loving, respectful, knowledgeable and funny.  One of them, says Owner, knew what make the car with no name was, AND liked the name (that is, no name!).  As I say all of this made up for the half a mile space surrounded by bollards, and preventing Owner from parking anywhere near our home.  YES, I have been spying out the bay all day checking on these new parking mad neighbours.  BUT my view has been obscured (Like it!) by giant vans and trucks, in the newly created parking bay..  I ask you. x
 
Final newborn para.  Last night we clung to Corrie which had popped up on the wrong night due to footie, and Steve will marry thingy who proposed to him in the Rovers.  Tracee is up to no good and we love her for that.  In Poldark when we weren't transfixed by Aiden who is playing Ross we followed the storyline. sort of. Has Owner decided what to do for the Easter break?  Is Bertie a total recluse??  do I love my mousey???   These questions and more are all hovering in the Ether.  (I say).  tonight we will bask in the glow of all the soaps and thank the wishing well and the entire universe for handing out such a pleasant and new born day to us.  I even feel friendly ish towards Bertie Bubb and Ruggles.  So do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x
 
 
 

Sunday, 29 March 2015

Slumber in Sundee

Wonka here.  You all know good folks out there possibly still slumbering, how I do love a few extra zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz BUT I had begun to worry over Owner this good morn (I was close on starving) as to WHEN she was going to wake up???  it had all the look of a sleeping beauty tale except for (list) 1.  the beauty bit oh alright she is beautiful to me AND a few others who need their eyesight checking ONLY JOKING) 2. it is a slight exaggeration even for me to say it was a hundred years... 3. she wasn't sewing anything last thing. 4.  ~We pray there is NOT a bad fairy lurking....actually there might be and it is alive and well in a Diva story to follow later in the year.  I love it.x

Slept in para.  When she finally goes OH I'D BETTER GET UP she gasped when she saw the time.  And that was the REAL time not yesterday's time.  I give myself 10 out of 10 for waiting patiently for the troughs to be refilled and for my overflowing saucer of IAMs plus gravy.  I've rather taken to this after what seems like years of clinging to good as you like. yes.  Bertie gave us all a start in the night as he clung onto the coverlet and WOULD NOT LET GO. Owner knew he was having a hitch with his claws BUT how was I supposed to know this? eh?  It all settled back down what seemed like hours later and I don't know what all the fuss was about.  And Bertie has now stopped hissing.  I love it.

Small and sleepy cartoon para.

 

There we are!  that is all of us adjusting the time last night so we didn't wake up and think OH that is not what Sir Terry said the time was on good Radio 2.  we love Sir Tel, and we love him even more as today he read out Owner's tweet about this Fab singer called John Owen Jones (we think and sorry if that is not you x)  we love it.....

Minute news item borrowed from our fave sundee papers (The Observer): 'Election is on a knife edge, Cameron (Dave to you and me) tells party activists'.  Owner specially likes this headline as she says (quote) it's got an active go get em feel to it with the mention of knives AND it is a wide open election with NO CLEAR WINNERS.  personally I would vote for that nice green party now we have located them on Twitter, as they seem to care about my environment and the climate and wotnot.  Just to round this item off, Owner reports a 'slight altercation' at the check out (the one that likes to help you) when she produced a well worn voucher for money off The Guardian OR the Observer.  That's not the Guardian goes the check out lady.....YES she got her tiny discount and had the same thing over a voucher off for 'any quorn' product.  According to the check out lady, Owner had bought neither paper nor quorn and guess who won out.  Of course she did!  And I love it.

Final hour forward to blame para.  When Owner parked back up from that fractious shopping trip she did a few necessary jobs like feeding me and giving me a giant cuddle AND THEN, (sound of warning bells and klaxons) noticed some bollards in the street and a parking notice.  The car with no name was now hemmed in by these said bollards.  I cannot put here in this good diary word for word what Owner said and I can only hope the new and old neighbours across the way cannot lip read.  There is a restriction of FOUR CAR SPACES so that a removal van (the size of an articulated truck?  eh?) can park up nicely in the morning.  Needless to mention here, Owner has not moved the car with no name (I am not getting up at the crack of dawn to move it Wonka. 7 am that is.  RIGHTO I goes back it being smack on tea time.)  Aside from this one (two counting the check out and three counting the other maze like supermarket which had the monster near the aisles.  That one Owner cannot abide.) a pleasant day wandered on by us.  The good week is peeking up at us too, and with a nice Easter break, what could possibly go wrong.  YES everything, so I have already thrown a coin in the well as a precaution (like it) Do go steady good folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x
 
 


Saturday, 28 March 2015

Dreamy Satdee

Wonka here.  Owner reports drifting through the day in a sort of dream.  Straightaway I checked the shopping.  Lots of it.  There were fresh supplies of my cat food TICK, more supplies for Bertie, OH I spose TICK, more of those dreamies (aha! or oho), and also a bag of best concrete aka luxury litter.TICK Then folks!  Klaxon sounds!  ALERT.... What is this then? I challenged Owner when I saw it.  Folks she has only gone and bought a light up Easter Chick.  it flashes all colours and will annoy me no end, and this is her feeble explanation (quote) I just saw them as I was drifting past Wonka and was torn between the light up chick and the light up bunny.  AND? I says up in that new and modern ultra annoying way....I compromised Wonka and got some of those dangly bunny ears on a headband.  OH YES I says, because we really need them!!! But she didn't hear me folks above dreaming herself out back with some rubbish to recycle.  I love it.

Dreamy old para.  Here follows an example of what those bunny ears will look like come Easter weekend:
There we are!!  You all remember how Owner MUST dress up Maximillian snow Lep in the bay well there he is with those red danglies on (red nose day soon to wash up in the U S of A) and I have to jump over this on my travels along the window sill...and soon he will be wearing those bunny ears and nearby will be a light up chick.  I ask you.  I expect most folks think we are running a nursery in here instead of it being a respectable home full of felines plus Owner.  I love it. x
 
 
Small in fact negligible (I am never using that word again too many Gs in it.) news item.  Owner thinks she heard it on the news that if Dave and his party plus whoever has to shore them up gets back in, he will do something, but for the life of her she cannot recall what.  I put this down to age and dreaminess and luckily she didn't see me put that.  I love her. lots. x
 
Final dream ridden para.  We all have dreams and most of ours are in the Wishing Well waiting our turn.  Today, Owner drifted round to see aged sibling and aged parent.  I have solved the mystery of the travel rug, she reports to me, yawning, so I had to make her say it twice.  OH YES I goes, fairly interested as I was feeling a mite peckish.  I SAW IT ON ANOTHER RESIDENT she tells me up.  I mean I thought this was what travel rugs did, turn up on different folk and then disappear for a short while and then reappear on your bed??? eh?? 
 
Now tonight we are hugging tightly to The Voice which is now up to the SEMIS.  There are 12 good singers in it to win it, and our money is on Emmanuel who has a voice like dark chocolate plus we do love Lucy who trills opera.  After that we can dream our way through Casualtee and having seen the trailer we are looking forward.  Doc Zoe can be relied on to DO RIGHT.  Last night, and I am putting this down to full on tiredness, everyone got on Owner's nerve.  Especially this woman who was paying thousands of pounds to have her flat done up, followed by an annoying person in Enders.  We had to switch over.  and then switch back (it was the annoying rich woman)  tonight I have high hopes of sitting back and relaxing.  Bertie Bubb has confused us by staying upstairs when he usually comes downstairs and vice versa.  Rug is true to form and so is gingertop.  Now do enjoy your eves out there in the Wold and go steady good folks, wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x
 

Friday, 27 March 2015

Out of the Blue Fridee!

Wonka here.  BBBRRRRRNNNGGG it goes and guess what?  YES that is right first time!!  ~the good consultant to offer Owner some work and save us from starvedom.  I was worrying about my future stocks of food and as you know Owner can be a little bit come day go day about our finances.  OH she says, IT WILL ALL SHAKE down.  personally I prefer more substance and more planning especially around income.  Bertie and Rug are both demanding topping up now, and I do like a good range of troughs to dip into to.   Where was I??  OH YES, so it turns out that a new school full of young people going on 50 and 60 need helping out JUST FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.  After a full on mulling period of several seconds (it must have seemed like weeks to the poor consultant dangling on the other end AND it transpires - like it - that there was NO ONE ELSE available.  Just Owner out of the 500 other workers.  I say.)  I love it.

Out of the blue para and good cartoon.  alongside this out of the blue and confidence boosting experience, we must have a completely unnecessary cartoon up.!!
 
 
There we are!!!  WHY you all shout up at me, are we looking at the Hex Factor Judges and 'a typical audition' because here we have the THIRD leaving of the week which we were expecting and it is good Dermot O Leary who no longer will front this all purpose all singing all something else show.  Did we see it coming??  Owner thought he looked a bit show weary but who, yes who can take his place???  We will report it up as soon as we know!! I love it.  and I love Dermot too. x
 
Final out of the blue para.  When Owner strolls back in, all happy and trim, I did wonder if that bang on the head was still having some effect but it turns out she enjoyed herself at the school.  WONDERS!  I mean the good wishing well is working overtime with all our wishes, but it certainly got moving on the work front.  IT WAS LOVELY she goes to me, and the Class all got on with it.  She even had some help AND an induction.  This makes a change she tells me, to having a bit of paper thrust at you and bob's your uncle or father or cousin. And to round off this success she has been offered and accepted (knock me down) work for the holidees in a nice place.  Bliss.x
 
Miniscule news item.  Dave and Mr Ed had some sort of TV debate last night with Jez Paxman.  Dave droned a little bit on zero hours contracts and food banks but I had to turn it over to Banished as Owner started to shout at the screen.  My understanding is that Dave had a slight edge and this can only be due to Mr Ed's dourness and overall intensity.  (OOER) I thought wotsisname would be there but he wasn't. x
 
If we can now go onto have a pleasant out of the blue evening I won't complain.  YES, I've been in to look at Rug and been told off and YES I herded Bertie into the land of Wardrobe this morn.  Corrie has been kicked into touch by some footie. WOE so we must stick with Enders and the never ending story of Shazzer's genes, and then Masterchef.  Owner looked drop dead gorgeous today and is still in love with her hair.  If this keeps up who knows what could happen?  eh? EH?  Now the good weekend is here and Easter is nearly upon us, so do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Timely Thursdee

Wonka here.  The other morn Owner reported several dreams.  OH YES I goes full of interest even though I had been served my first serving for Breakfast, BUT it was smack on seconds (helpings not time)....it turns out she rescued Sam her old and beloved cross collie Labrador from a house undergoing.....an explosion!  Blimey I goes, looking Owner in the eye but not TOO hard to show I was listening up.  Then who turns up in the dream but the Booleys (kittens to you folk, Booleys to Owner) all huge and grown up.  Of course this just sparked off a series of memories about HOW MUCH she loved them AND if only you (me, Wonka, the good and the kind) had taken to Tinkers (mummy Tinkers) etc etc......deep down, Owner knows she could not have kept another cat and four kittens.  In her heart it is a different story though.  I blame it all retrospectively (I must not ever use such a hard to spell word again. No) on the bang on the head.  Even though that came after the dream.  I love it.

Timely para.  WHAT you all shout up as one, is this timely business then?  Owner did not get a shout out for work this morning when she was free ish as a lark.  NO.  the call came the minute she was not available.  ARE YOU AVAILABLE goes her consultant (we think he is consultant to the other 499 as well, and due to this, Owner makes allowances by not being as obstructive as she could be. yes) NOT NOW she babbles, and once more tells him when she is.  As she was busy uploading the latest Duffel story this morn, she most certainly did not need to be supervising anyone OR freezing to death with the little people.  I love it.

Time and time again para.  For our good cartoon I have insisted that we have the bang on the head one.
 
There we are!  in the kitchen with that sharp cornered cupboard leaning out.  I have as you know warned Owner to move at a slower pace etc and any day now she may listen to me.  When we are rich and famous (anytime - you ask the wishing well) we will live in a spacious dwelling (like it) with so much room I will not have to challenge Bertie OR stare at Ruggles like I did this morning, to ill effect.  STOP IT Wonka, Owner goes to me.  And I did.  I Love it. x
 
 
Small newsworthy para.  Again this must be a slow news day and we are trying to listen up for any news on the political front.  it is only a matter of weeks til we must put the TICK against the right candidate.  We did hear that nice Mr Ed (labour) may be in a position similar to Dave's dilemma last time. ie who to cuddle up to when forming a majority.  (get me) also we heard that no one likes the Speaker of the House.  personally I did favour that nice Betty Boothroyd or something very like it (sorry Betty if that is NOT you x).  End of news bulletin.
 
 
Final timely para.  Banished is on tonight so Owner must try and stay awake this time and not drop off.  They are all forming little cliques and such and last we knew, those golden sands, blue sky and sea were not doing the trick.  Before that we have Masterchef and those judges who sit at a table and sample the dishes saying things like (quote) haunting and sexy and Owner's says that is just about a pudding.  I mean.  There is a dose of Enders and if we understand it right (prob no) Shazzer is a descendant of Richard III and NOT Dirty Den, and who knows who her chimney sweep son, Denny, is. 
 
The only other exciting thing for today (according to Owner and I nearly fell asleep zzzzzzzzzzzzz whilst she was telling me) is that a blue glove exactly like the ones the Dentist wears, blew up from nowhere as she was driving, and clung onto her wing mirror.  Like a hand of god she babbled to me!  And later, when she was at the Dentist with aged sibling she looks at his hands and they are clothed in the very same gloves.  Is it a sign we all wonder up?  Only TIME will tell!!  Now do not forget to treat yourselves to the latest Easter Offering that is Duffel Again!!  Just follow the link in our Extra Extra post for today OR visit www.smashwords.com and look for the #wonka stories.  Fridee is around the corner, SO, do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Extra Extra! for Thursdee

Wonka here!  With the happy news that our new story is now uploaded!!  and Free to read for all you good folk that would like to be cheered up for Easter:


 
 
I do hope Owner has finally mastered this linking business!! (sorry Owner) See you later for the Diary - Big Love Wonka x
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

Forecast Wednesdee

Wonka here.  Just to keep you all ON YOUR TOES, here follows a forecast.


 
There we are!!  It was a BBBRRR start with lots of frost when Owner peeked out of the bedroom window first thing.  What time? you all wonder up, was that then? BECAUSE there was nothing or De Rien as I like to say to get up for, Owner wakes up at 5 to 6.  yes.  The good news about that was it did go very sunny as per forecast and we think, the entire country had some sun!  We love it.
 
Freshly forecast para.  Just think Owner, I says to spur her on, of all the EXTRA jobs you can fit in with all the spare time..... LIKE? she says in that old and annoying way... like giving Bertie bubb a good brush as he is moulting all over your trouser legs I proffered up (what a word! eh? eh!).  I have to give Owner ten out of ten because she did indeed 1.  locate bubb (land of Wardrobe) and 2.  entice him out with best sheba so she could GO AT IT.  I did not suggest getting the monster out though to then circle the floor and all those cat hairs NONE of which are mine.  In between all of this, Owner found time to ready our new story Duffel Again!  I have inspected it TICK, I have done a small Foreward to it TICK and we have high hopes for tomorrow..... I love it.
 
Our forecast ahoy para.  For tomorrow we are forecasting thus: (list) 1.  ~a sharp frost followed by a bit of cloud and rain and maybe snow (up North etc) 2. the funeral of Richard III at Leicester Cathedral.  Owner says I can't forecast that as it is happening.  SO instead of that I am forecasting a phone call to Owner from the good agency offering her work where she cannot go, or want to go. (that is very likely she says up) 3. something happening out of the blue (Owner says I am hedging my bets with that one.  like with the car with no name not starting and today did the good printer stall and REFUSE to print out.)  BUT I says, it could always be a NICE out of the blue thing.  For once.  I love it this forecasting thing.....there's Mr Clarkson who used to front up a nice car show, well NOT ANYMORE and that nice Zane from all directions (band) NOT ANYMORE.  Will there be a third not anymore I wonder up.........
 
Miniscule news items of worth. Not much to talk up here excepting Dave who heads up the Tories said NO THIRD TERM.  and no one is really interested says Owner, in any of his terms.  End of.
 
Final forecasting para.  Has Owner gone off her hair yet you all wonder up and possibly this is the news item you are wishing for.  Happily (for me) she is still LEAVING IT ALONE and not in a state of despair.  I do, as you know, a regular spot check on the shopping and there is no hair product today.  There was a hideous top and joggers that I said to Owner were you in a dream when you purchased them?  Luckily she didn't hear me above putting some rubbish out back.  Now tonight we are clinging to Corrie X 1 and Masterchef.  It says they are putting some keen cooks through it.  Over in Corrie, Steve is still taking tablets and receiving millions of support from all whilst Gail may need some (tablets).   With Owner on mild to slightly irritable setting, (I blame the maze like supermarket that is number one on our hit list) I can only try for a pleasant eve with no random scratching or chasing. No.  So do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Try try again Tuesdee

Wonka here.  What you all say is so trying, and is it Owner?  She did bang her head on an open cupboard door NO she is not that small, it is an overhead one that you must remember it is open BEFORE you swing round OUCH!  It's all about, I says to her, moving slowly in a restricted space.....of course I said this from roughly the next stair to the upstairs landing folks, otherwise my life could have been in danger ONLY JOKING UP Owner.  We love it.

Trying para.  First thing did I have a small choking fit from behind the kitchen door whilst Owner was hard at it preparing for the morning feeding frenzy.  STOP IT Wonka! she shouts through the door at me.  I mean, good folks all concerned, I had to carry on until the end of the choke, it's not a case of stopping anything.  you must go with the choke.  Owner immediately (hard to spell but I made it) accuses me of (quote) 'attention seeking Wonka'.  And I says (quote) I don't need to seek attention, attention seeks me!'  and now I've said it (fives times and counting) I'm having it as my best in the Wold motto or STRAPLINE thingy.  I love it.

Small trying to be a cartoon para.  As per we are spoilt for choice and left up to me it would be ME, hold up....I think it is...
 
There we are!  and there is me and mousey.  This cartoon good folks, was part of a FULL ON Cartoon submission to an Agency that shall remain nameless but did not get back in touch. IT IS THEIR FULL ON LOSS I droned to Owner in my best soothing voice as it was smack on tea time.  As you can read for your good selves it was the third cartoon warning the agency that Owner has been writing a LONG time.   Since that first rejection, there has been a second (failed) attempt to be noticed.  How they are all missing the point of our stories I cannot say and personally, since becoming famous in LA, I say they will regret it BUT there is now a third submission down the wire.  It is not entirely random droned Owner back to me, I am TRYING to select the right one.  The red wine is at hand folks should we need it, and of course we are continuing to self publish anyway.  And the next Duffel story is nearly up on us!  We love it. x
 
 
Final try try again para.   Today was so quiet and goodly I had to listen hard for any news worth a mention.  another of those pesky politicians has been found wanting OR being fraudulent or both.  Owner had a nice visit from the Green Party, so she tells me as I fled upstairs.  How did I know it wasn't a Viking? eh??  and knowing Owner she would probably give them her TICK on polling day if it was.  They would promote themselves on their ability to command and lead etc, navigation skills, social integration (thanks Owner) I could write the pamphlet out myself.
 
Small update on Owner's hair.  it looks the business.  She has not messed with it, or snipped at it, or said to me WHAT IS THIS bit of HAIR DOING Wonka.  I do like our hair rescuer and to prove it I laid on his mat, and sat on the very chair Owner needed to be on. And because this went right, the rest of the day did too.  Tonight we are stuck to Enders and the continuing saga of now they are going out now they are not now they are thing.  Even Masood is confused and he is a postie.  There has been no sign of Shazzer lately or Fil or chimney sweep sons.  Then it is good Holbee and the man in the mask and teddy bear Elliot not to mention Doctor Jack and her nearly stabbed to death ex partner. (deep breaths).  YES, the agency rang Owner at the crack of dawn and she says NO, but tmro who knows.  Ruggles has been in out in out all day long and Bertie has used the facilities once.  I ask you.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Monday, 23 March 2015

Yes not No Mundee

Wonka here.    What is all this you babble to me, yes not no business?? it simply means folks that Owner spends a lot of time saying NO when in the next breath does she cave in and say OH ALRIGHT then and guess who she says it to most??  eh??  YES right first time, to the wonder consultant at the wonder agency - the same agency that boasts of having 500 employees (meaning YOU are not special you zero hours contract worker you) BUT when the chips are down where are the other 499??  So the job that Owner said no to, twice, on Fridee rears its head up again.  it is sugared up, dressed up, bigged up until it is the easiest morning's work in the known wold.  YOU LIFE SAVER she is called.  You've been called worse I says to her, but she didn't hear me above rushing upstairs to put a school outfit on.  I love it.

Fresh yes no and how's your father para.  When she rolls back in hours later with a small shop and it was mostly essentials so TICK, I did enquire as to how the easy job went.  IT WENT FINE Wonka, I was just invigilating for some poor year elevens who won't know what has hit them in a few month's time.  She then went into town which could have meant a lot of non essentials.......But no!  Owner reports suddenly feeling very very tired.  What I goes, more than usual? YES, she says it was like a giant wave coming over her and she had to get home.  Now here is our news of the day, when Owner trots to the school there is big notice on the door and it warns of... sound of klaxon and sirens:
******We have an outbreak of chicken pox and shingles********.......and if you are pregnant etc.  Just because, drones Owner I am not having a baby (unless a miracle happens.  it did in the bible.) that doesn't mean I want to get shingles again.  You will notice 'again'.  Owner is ever fond of relating the shingles story as a BEWARE kind of story.  And if it does strike her down, I spose I'll have to put up with it.  I love it.

Break for a yes not no cartoon para:  I suggested we pop a cartoon on all about me being famous on a kindle in LA of all the places in the Wold and Owner has agreed.  I would have put capitulated but I wasn't sure how to spell it.
 
There I am!! dreaming away in my AMAZEN box.  Yes that is what we are calling it now, because when I cuddle up in there I soon drop off......zzzzzzzzzzzzz  and have the most relaxing time ever.  I love it x
 
Small newsworthy para.  There is no news to report up today and if there is we have missed it.  OH YES, Moira Stuart who is the good newsreader on Radio 2 said it was Tuesdee instead of Mundee and had to say it all over again.  This is one of several stumbles lately and we are concerned.  Owner does this kind of thing all the time but she is not reading the news to the nation. x
 
Final yes no para.  Owner has only gone and booked a three night breakaway in June with the Fab Four who all jollied off to Paris last year, and then Cornwall.  This time it is a rather posh holiday village thingy and I do hope they don't let the side down.  YES, My Aunty is booked to spoil me rotten and keep Bertie Bubb and Rug in biscuits and such.  This alone will keep Owner's spirits up and help the mood setting.  Well I can hope eh?  Tonight we must stick like glue to Corrie X 2 (that Rhymes!!) and Enders X 1 (that doesn't. no.)  thingy's Dad is still dying in hospital and Owner has said I wish he would get a move on (sorry thingy) In Corrie, there are funerals of the real Gavin but Michael still thinks it is Andy who is the real Gavin.  We are keeping up with it so far.  But the best news surely is of the Allotment which is to be shared by Roy Cropper and Cal's Dad (we think it is him and sorry if not.) I know you have been on the edge of your settees and easy chairs wondering will Owner change her hair colour tmro when the good hair rescuer pops round and I say to you, Is Bertie Bubb a total Recluse cat??  Is Ruggles as tame as you like??  That is another yes then. Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 22 March 2015

Super Sundee

Wonka here.  What a day folks out there all perhaps having equally super Sundees!  The main news to report is that Owner got up after a good night's sleep as HAPPY AS A LARK.  Why? you all gasp up, is this so?  There is NO reason whatsoever for this mood setting.  Except (list)1. it is Sundee. 2.  It is Sunny 3. Owner is not back on the treadmill tmro 4. the day was all hers.  What you all secondly wonder up, could happen to spoil this?  eh? eh....? There is a big clue coming up, BUT even this thing did not shift that good mood setting.  No, not even that miniscule scratch I gave Owner by accident when I was guarding two carrier bags (I thought she was a Viking.) could change it.  I love it.

Fresh and super para:
 
 
There it is!!  The car with no name and THAT is when the super Sundee could have taken a nosedive.  Owner goes to me around lunch time, and I must say I was dozing nicely in the sun and didn't need interrupting - she says I AM JUST GOING TO THE SHOPS Wonka.  Now even I thought where is she after two hours had whipped by.  Bertie trundled downstairs to use the facilities and eat all my good as it looks so this passed a bit of time and just when I thought is Owner ever coming home has she gone on holidee, she falls back in.  It turns out when she trots back out of the supermarket that is second on the list for shops she wishes never to go back into, and put all the shopping in the boot, she turns the key and NOTHING.  Nothing?  I says up to show interest....well she goes the radio came on.  There then followed a ten minute search for the breakdown service number which was waiting in her purse and not in any of the other ten thousand places she looked first.  When the nice man from the AA turns up he knows immediately what it is.  IT TOOK HIM ONE MINUTE she droned to me, to fix it.  AND I understood what it was, not like those mechanics in the Quick As You Like garage.  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH! in between babbling on about starter motors and connections I did get a snack folks in case you are worrying up.  So all is well and the car with no name is back up and running for now.  And if you are going to break down, that was the place to do it.  I love it. x
 
 
Final super para.  The day has been a good day for Richard III too, as his old bones are now resting in a super coffin in Leicester Cathedral instead of under a car park.  Well blow me down if that isn't the second mention of those things today.  Perhaps there will be third redemptive thingy happen up.  Who knows, as Owner's dearly departed to heaven Dad used to say, car parks are taking over the Wold.  And the burial is on Thursdee, which is the same day Owner must take aged sibling to the Dentist.  Another ancient ceremony then I whispered up but she didn't hear me above boiling the steam engine for a cup of Rosy Lea. I Love it.
 
Super duper finale -  on the news front there is not much to report except Owner tells me another politician is found out for being sneaky,  And resigned.  That's one less then!  Tonight we must make do with Poldark and that nice Ross chappie who is busy restoring tin mines and cuddling up with the maidservant. Ruggles is atop the linen basket for now until he goes skittish and wants to go out two minutes before Owner goes to bed.  Gingertop has been sighted this morning and so has Bertie bubb.  OH he lives here.  Another week beckons and let us all hope for a super one.  do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it and specially if you are a Plantagenet! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 21 March 2015

Poetic Satdee

Wonka here.  I expect you are all on the edges of your easy chairs and settees (or the beach??) waiting for a poem??  eh??  Owner says she found an old Poem that has never seen the light of day and is all about me.  Naturally I want this uploaded NOW. 

 
There we are!!  OH she says, I wrote that four years ago!!  blow me down if Owner isn't right for a change...(from behind the door folks!)  What a poem though and Purfect for today don't you all think?? and tomorrow there will be a back to normal cartoon all about me.  What a treat in store... I love it. x
 
Rest of poetic para.  Today has washed by in a sort of a dream really but then Shakespeare did say it is but a dream within a dream zzzzzzzzzzzzOH or something very like that.  and sorry William if we have misquoted you like the rest of the known Wold.  Now something has cheered Owner up.  No! more than one thing so, LIST: 1.  She noticed that since sending encouragement to the Moon God aka Dog in Banished land (Australia) we have inherited some followers from that good country.  I have an Aunt there, she droned to me.  OH YES, I goes all interested with it being bang on tea time.  BUT We don't speak.  This folks, just about sums Owner's family up.  It is Dysfunctional with a capital D. and there will be more on this later.  but for now 2.  following a phone call with one of her Fab Four Friends, a holiday has been suggested and must be looked into.  It might fall in July.  This is fairly exciting AS LONG as my Aunty can do the honours.  AND our beloved cat sitter.  There is Ruggles now on the inside instead of darting around outside.  A stranger would think he had been reared in this home.  yes.  I love it.
 
Short and sweet non poetic but news ridden para: only for those poor Australians who may need a bit of fact to wash down their diary with.  The Lib Dem Party that has shored up the Tories for what seems like forever but can only be a few years WILL NOT DO THIS AGAIN.  Instead they will reinvent themselves as the party they once said they were and hope to goodness someone votes for it.  Me?  thanks for asking, I am considering who to vote for and so is Owner, without losing the will to live. x
 
Final poetic para.  Tonight we are cuddling up to The Voice and possibly shouting at it.  We are supporting (for now) a chappie called Vikesh who has no friend or family (last time) but DOES have Willyam and there is Lucy OByrne or something close to it.  If we feel handy and we do, it is followed by Casualtee and WE PRAY there is no open heart surgery whilst Owner has her supper.  she is on good mood setting and I aim to keep it that way folks, and I have NOT forgotten about the hair colour dilemma which is nearly resolved (OOH).  So for now, do have a poetic evening like us, and DO go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 20 March 2015

Solar Eclipsed Fridee!

Wonka here.  Would you believe it folks but Owner did see the partial eclipse!  With a crowd of little people!  I THOUGHT, I said wisely to Owner, you were NOT to look at the sun directly.  When? she goes up, did I ever listen to that kind of advice??? Hopefully folks she will not go blind in the next 24 hours.  It was she says up to me, awe inspiring  OH YES I says, all ears up.....You could see a sliver of new moon and the rest was dark.  it went dark just like they reported to us on the good radio and when it was over it went sunny and beautiful.  ALSO to round it all off, it is the first day of Spring!!!
And yes, we love it.

Eclipsed para.  Yesterday, was a disaster for Owner and she puts it all down to this good eclipse and the shadow and such like.  Today, she is full of beans and wide awake.  She was so tired last night (her story) that she fell asleep three times watching Banished (sorry Banished).  Are you sure, I piped up (like it) it wasn't the storyline.  I must say, she goes to me, this one convict seemed to take a long time going into the governor's house to drink some rum and then I dropped off for a minute and he was there again.  After the third zzzzzzzzz Owner called it a night.  This made her recall a famous afternoon nap, when she was watching a nice old film with Gene Kelly in it or someone very like him set in America and then he seemed to be in Scotland???  it turns out she fell asleep half way through the first film and woke up during the second!!!  I love it.

Freshly eclipsed para.  As a little tribute to the Little People who were all tip top today with the usual snatching, grabbing, sobbing, smiling and happy day to be had, is this drawing.

 
There it is!  Owner has to draw Houses for the little people PLUS flowers and especially daffodils.  there are four cats in this picture as they wanted four.  Three of them are us, (Me, Bubb and Rug) and my guess for the fourth is that Gingertop who sneaked onto the kitchen doorstep today.  Hmmm.  over to the right is a glimpse of the sea and some sand.  And up top left is a giant happy sun.  And they loved it! x
 
 
Final eclipsed para.  Owner says she got through nicely with no funny moments or silly billy overtaking.  And here's a thing, she has fallen in love with her hair.  It just shows you what a difference a day makes folks (is that a song? eh?).  The weekend beckons and Owner has already swung into Fridee night setting.  There is Corrie X 2 and Enders x 1.  Enders is in hospital at the minute and if it isn't there it is on about folks falling in love with the wrong folks.  Still no news on Roy Cropper's allotment but the hens are saved.  They live with thingy's Dad who live next door to Gail.  There is masterchef if we can find a space for it too. Now I mentioned hair earlier and the real dilemma striking Owner is this: whether to change the colour (all Owner's handiwork) via the hair rescuer, OR leave well alone.  As you all know good folks out there with gorgeous tresses, Owner never was one to do that.  Now as we said, the weekend has started here SO do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it. Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 19 March 2015

Banished Thursdee

Wonka here.  Banished is the new setting in this house; according to Owner she thought she was (quote) coming down with yet another cold folks and blames it FULLY on being banished outside with the little people in freezing conditions.  They all holler to go out Wonka, she tells me up, once she has returned to the sauna like conditions of our home.  Well they would!  they are running round, falling over each other, chasing each other and going under a parachute so OF COURSE they want to be outside EVEN though it is icy and grey and cold.  I just wanted to come home says Owner, a bit like some of the little children I says back.  Personally, I am very happy to stay in my home and just observe the outside from any one of my look outs.  I love it. x

short and sweet banished para.  herewith, and as soon as you like, a glimpse of what my life is like day in day out.
 
There we are!  it is Wonka's Lair you are looking at !!  and as you can see, it includes every single room in the house.  Alright I do have to keep clear of the kitchen at the moment, but I expect any day now to have unrestricted access!!!  Owner says this is possible and not just a dream of hers (that me and Rug could love each other.....).  I mean. I love it.
 
Final banished para.  In other more exciting news there is to be a solar eclipse!  Although Owner wonders how we will notice if the cloud and mist and general grey stuff persists.  WE WILL FEEL the effects I reminded her, and hardly dare mention the new moon which we might also not see in a cloudy night sky!!  Our fave Astrologer has told of: endings and beginnings.  I can see plenty of endings droned Owner and I made her sit down with a nice glass of red to take the edge off.  it is medicinal folks and I do allow Owner to partake especially on days like this.  AND, I goes up, there is that Banished on tonight which Christophe Evans on good Radio 2 has been talking up and EVEN talking to the writer, Jimmy McGovern (sorry if you are NOT him).  And he has said that all they had (the British convicts who all fell out onto the Aussie beach rather like they do today....) all they had was their bodies (the ladies) their strength (the men) and LOTS OF BASIC NEEDS.  What, I wondered up, has changed? eh? eh??  And that's Australia for you, but luckily it had a good race of people already carving out some culture and history....... 
 
Now before we are glued to the increasingly strange ways of Banished (they murdered the Blacksmith last week AND got put on meagre rations) there is Masterchef, surely the epitome (Owner says after the day she has had we MUST use this word) of civilisation and snobbery, which of course we love.  Other than this, I must try to cheer Owner on by NOT looking at Bertie Bubb which is easy when he is in the land of wardrobe upstairs and NOT scratch Owner by mistake (by dreaming she is a Viking. NO).  tomorrow will be a better day and we look forward.  Until then, do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it, and watch out for that eclipse!! Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Misty Grey Wednesdee

Wonka here.  Will this horrid Weather ever shift moans up Owner, who had a lovely night's sleep with dreams of getting ready for a date.  As far as I know (nearly everything) this is NOT happening in real life but who am I etc...WHAT? you all wonder up, did she have on.  She reports: Wonka, I had a dress on and two bead necklaces which I only noticed by looking in a mirror and seeing I already had one on.  OH, I says up.  Then, she says lots of bracelets also in beads PLUS a blue sock.  Just the one? I queried up to show I was following this story..YES, when I looked down, it was one silvery blue sock and I thought shall I find the other, to match it Wonka......zzzzzzzzzzzz  OH! sorry, must have dropped back off there.  I had to stay awake though as one of the biscuit troughs was low on biscuits and I like them to be level with the side and almost overflowing, not just a few (20 to 30) skimming the bottom.  Just a little thing I have.  I love it.

Grey and misty para.  It was an uninviting morn, even for Rug who gazed out the back door for what seemed like hours but was actually just an hour (Owner says she was freezing and I said only you would leave the back door wide open like that. NO she didn't hear me as I whispered it from behind the door.) He finally stopped his back yard watch and resettled atop the linen basket, after a hearty breakfast and a quick game of hiss and grab (paw under the door).  Owner did not rush to the nice but failing supermarket at lunch time and instead SAT DOWN for half an hour.  This she droned to me was a BIG MISTAKE as she wanted to doze off.  Now I know all about this, as the Amazon Box effects me just the same zzzzzzzzzzzz OH! nearly and I love it.

Far from grey and misty cartoon para.  Now I have not so far mentioned Bertie and for a change I am now going to!!  here follows a little cartoon of one of his Lairs.

 
There we are!!  The Narnia cupboard with at least THREE little hideaway and comfy spots.  There is the Cat carrier, there is the first shelf on the right and there is a ground level pilly case.  The Wishing Well lives in there too, as does a whole range of household things.  And books.  and boots.  It is a whole new wold in there and we Love it as much as Bertie Bubb.  On the door hangs Owner's Bagpuss bag and he recently modelled a hat for us.  We love him. x

Final misty grey para.  I am rather excited today folks as guess what?  NO that is not it.  Someone who we know from that Twitter thing, is reading the #wonka books and they are in LA.  YES!  that is good LA in the U S of A folks.  I am very proud to think I am in America, and may ask for an extra helping of something.  Now also to report is that Owner DID NOT do any silly overtaking even though she was behind the slowest car in the Wold (40 mile an hour folks) coming home.  I put this down to sheer tiredness and the monkey on her shoulder telling her not to.  Last night we wandered through Enders and several odd storylines about star crossed lovers we think.  Then Holbee and the man in the bandaged mask who was very handsome until he dropped out of one of those window cleaning things several stories up.  Tonight luckily it is Corrie and then Masterchef, and Katee wasn't going to Portugal due to Chesnee and Joseph but now she is. (Corrie) and now the real son Gavin is dead Andy can be the loving son Michael always wanted, until he finds out. We love it millions.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and specially if you are a moon dog (Aussie cartoon and we love it).  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Parachute Tuesdee

Wonka here.  First off, a poor night was had by Owner.  she reports thus.  The minute she said TIME TO SETTLE DOWN and lights out did a previously perfectly alright muscle in her leg start up.  I knew all about it, as I was under the bed as per and all that happened was toss turn turn toss toss toss OH MY LEG etc.  Now I am blessed as you know, with the kind of fitness that other felines envy.  Or they would if they set eyes on me.  Bertie has wonky legs and paws and they have to fold in a funny way but then he is funny full stop. Rug as you know has a big fat furry stump for a tail and may well have 'things'.  We know there are 'things'  in his ears because when he scratches them he makes a sort of gurgly growling noise. BUT none of this helps Owner when her leg goes funny.  Due to this she has reported being TIRED all day.  This also means, she gives out extra portions without noticing and I can more or less chase Bertie anywhere in the household and get away with it.  I love it.

Parachuting para.  NO Owner is not jumping out of a plane or overtaking cars by parachute.  it turns out that the little people who are constantly entertained all day long with sandpits, water pits, home corners, books, crayons and painting and Elmer the elephant, must also raise a multi coloured parachute, flap it as high as they can and some of them run under it!  Some of them helped and some of them didn't, Owner reports up but that is little people for you one minute they are laughing and the next their face is all screwed up and you cannot get to grips with what has happened.  We love it.  Mostly.

Parachuting in cartoon para.  it is time Owner droned to pop a few cartoons of you and your lairs....
 
There we are!  Rugglesis en suite and he does use the luxury igloo when he gets fed up with his luxury heated pad atop the linen basket.  He went out this morning and had to wait all day to return and he ran in!!  Owner let me have one of my supervised trips into the kitchen and I must say I surprised myself with how good I was! Well Done Wonka! goes Owner to me...(it was dead on tea time....)and tmro there will be a Bertie Bubb cartoon.  We love it.
 
Final parachute in para.  here follows a small weather report for those of you possibly basking in the sunnyshine and such like.  IT IS FREEZING, IT IS GREY SKIES and this coupled with rain does not hearten us.  NO.  Owner is resigned to being outside and cold for the rest of this good week and is amazingly good humoured.  I put this down to outright tiredness folks and Owner is not normally so Buddha like in her little self. IT IS MY new attitude to everything she droned to me; which is?  I asked up in that continuing to be annoying way...I CAN DO IT she says.  Do what? I said, but luckily she was too busy leaning against the 'new' washer (it refuses to start any known cycle unless you lean on the door.  Then it 'knows' it is shut. yes) to hear me and kept babbling on about being confident and more assertive.  Personally I thought Owner already did tell others what she thought but who am I???? eh???  tonight we have to endure Enders which was usurped by the footie last night and then Holbee where they are either arrested for murder or going to be.  Elliot is like a cuddly bear and is the only friend to the career mad doctor Jack who is a woman.  I know.  There is a new drama on at 9 pm if Owner has the strength for it and it grips us in the first 60 seconds.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it. Big Love Wonka x

Monday, 16 March 2015

Monkey Mundee

Wonka here.  WHAT you on about now, you all wonder up, half asleep on this good first day of the week.  it is Owner; she fell back in, all focussed and such like, and (according to her) had to trail behind very slow cars, tractors, lorry things, follow strange diversions that go on for miles and you pop out two yards from where you left the usual trek and then you are behind a very slow bus BUT she did not (list) 1.  overtake on a bend, or several cars with no clear view or both 2. get overly impatient (says) 3. mouth those words at the driver in front who can clearly see her through his mirror.  She says (quote) Wonka, all day it was as if I had a monkey on my shoulder, telling me to behave differently!  LIKE? I goes back, thinking all the time about my tea time which was nigh.... Like NOT being so friendly and caring.  to the staff.  OH, I goes, all interested now.  And? I says up in that new and annoying way.  I kept myself to myself, she reports. Now this folks, does tend to keep people on their toes......  I love it! x  and I love it even more that Owner is driving sensibly for today at least.

Fresh monkiefied para.  Then she has another revelation.  According to Owner, (now) she has been thinking about her death defying overtaking yesterdee and I says you would ponder it Owner as YOU COULD HAVE BEEN WIPED OUT but she didn't hear me above popping the old kettle on which is near enough as noisy as the new one that conked out (the purple one that she adored.  I said purple and kettles are NOT good) anyhow she has decided that the right decision was made (to foolishly overtake 5 cars) BUT where it went wrong was that the Red Car, should have let her back in.  OH I goes, with my head in rather a nice saucer of good as you like.  I can only hope the other 4 to 5 cars saw it that way too..... (your honour).  Now other news is as follows:  Owner says she is fed up with being paid peanuts (does this tie in with Monkeys I says....) and wants to now do what she is good at.  Which is?  I says in the increasingly annoying way.  I must now Life Coach she shouted at me.  And she only shouted because she has been with the little people all day and they have to be spoken to loudly if you are to get their attention at all.  I love it.

Tiny Monkey para.  For today's good cartoon we are finally reviewing another film:
 
There we are!  Finally our review of this relentlessly relentless film. ( Out of The furnace),  Meaning?  If you watch it you will know.  We loved it. x
 
Final Monkey business para.  Is it all in the stars you all gasp up, possibly having a change of heart or mind or both yourselves, and Owner reckons it is.  With one planet square to another or something very like it. (sorry planets and specially Saturn).  it is time folks, to kick ass as they say in the U S of A and Owner says I can use that word it is alright just this once.  I said is that what I am doing with Bertie but I mumbled it so quickly Owner thought I said I quite like Bertie and gave me a cuddle.  Ruggles is fine and going as far as the bench outside and this, for a cat that wandered the alleyways and streets for years, is further proof that Owner can change your behaviour.  if you want to change it that is.  Tonight we will be calm as you like and staring at Corrie X2 and Enders if is not usurped by footie.  In Corrie there has been a development and it is that the real son of Michael has dropped dead and the pretend son Gavin or Andy is still alive.  Tracee has not dobbed Tony in as yet and we still do not know if Roy Cropper has got the allotment.  I know.  Now we have encouraged a Moon dog to cuddle up to this blog and who knows he may have visited.  he is Australian too.  In view of this (get me) we may have to include small snippets of current affairs but Owner says we can do it.  Starting with this:  there is a general election coming up soon and no one is going to get in with a majority,  End of snippet.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Mother's Day Sundee

Wonka here.   Over here on our tiny island folks we are all celebrating Mother's Day and I must say it was nice to see Owner spring out of bed at the crack of dawn, saying things like OH I am going to see daughter and OH I am looking forward.   As you know I am NOT a mummy and neither is Bertie nor Rug and so far, I have not shown any tendencies towards mothering.  I did steer clear of Bertie this morning though and let him have a small chomp before I glided past AND enjoyed a small game of paw under the door with Rug.  Owner says this DOES NOT COUNT Wonka and her bruise from that weensy scratch I dished out the other week is just fading.  I love it. x

Mummy's day para.  to celebrate this good day for ALL mums (sorry Dads and sorry if you are not a Mum but you can always be a mother to something. OH I am getting into a debate about this SOZ) we will have a nice little photoshoot.  It can't be of Tinkers and the kittens as that will make Owner weep.  Instead then:
 
There we are! WHO you all shout to me, is that drop dead gorgeous woman?? None other than Owner's mother (aged parent.  you knew that.) In this snap. she is sweet sixteen or thereabouts reports Owner and no wonder she was spotted by Raymond, once they were both in the RAF (aged parent was in the WRAF!!).  And now she is at the other end of her life, but smiling and happy, most days..... We love it. x
 
 
Final Mothering para.  Today, Owner whizzed off to daughter and returned in one piece.  I am saying this as a warning to her if she should listen.  I DID A SILLY OVERTAKING she tells me when she thinks I am not paying attention (head in saucer of much needed food).  BUT I did hear her and questioned her up.  it turns out she got fed up of being in a massive queue of around 5 slow cars because the one in front was going at 5 miles an hour OR 35 to 40.  Then, does she take it upon herself to zoom out and overtake as many cars as possible which turned out to be two, because a car was heading towards her.  THEN WHAT?  I says, I mean she is alright because she has come home but WHAT IF I goes up, the slow boat cars (mixed metaphor sorry) would not let you back in DESPITE you being in danger.  Wonka, she tells me, that is exactly what happened.  I cannot tell you folks out there, I was on the edge of my saucer, torn between cursing those slow cars and telling Owner off!  The car that COULD have let her back in , was a red car and took no notice of her, but the car behind that, a nondescript car DID.  You were saved by a nondescript car Owner!  YES Wonka, I was.  She continued to drive behind the said red car mouthing things in her mirror...but really Wonka, she says to me, a bit ashamed and such like.  I must NOT do that again. It has to be said folks that Owner is on impatient setting behind the wheel and is now on a firm warning up from me.  yes.  sorry Wonka, she says to me, I will try hard to be a slow driver.  I love it.
 
Real final Mumsy para.  tonight we are clutching onto more of the Voice and Ryvita Ora and Willyam have chosen their 3 best singers, now it is Rickyam and Sir Tom.  We approve mostly so far, but expect Owner to vent a bit more of that bad driving at the tv instead.  Which is safe.  Then, there is nice Poldark with that nice Cornish chappie in it for Owner to cling to.  The good week is rearing its head at us, and Owner must stick a big smile on.  As for me, I am nicely, Bertie Bubb sped down here and back up there, and Rugtug is in and out of his en suite guarding the back yard and keeping an eye out for the new stray on the block. it was big and frightened looking.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and especially if you are in Australia (we have invited a dog called Moon Dog to keep up with current affairs by visiting this very diary. Who knows what he might learn. x) Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 14 March 2015

Smart Satdee

Wonka here.  Slept in, nice and easy up we got and all to play for.  Today, unlike yesterdee, shifted from uneasy to easy setting and Owner managed to reach a difficult decision.  Can you guess what it was??? eh?? YES you nearly got it right.  It was, whether to go swimming today instead of tmro (giggling and splashing gerties) AND should she go to that other swimming baths.  it did take a while but suddenly she says to me: Wonka!  I am going to the usual baths and will try it out for LESS SPLASHY YOUNG PEOPLE.  Slowly the answer had dawned on her. and I must admit folks I dropped off a couple of times while she was talking herself through it, going on about travelling, money, temperature of the water........zzzzzzzzzzzzz OH!.  I love it.

Small and smart para.  And this will include a snap, yes a snap of the said red wobbly thingies at the end of two prong thingies on an alice band.  Today, Owner heard talk of there being a similar event in the U S of A and we want to let you know in advance a few tips.  THIS is what you could all be wearing.......

 
There we are!  And we thought it best to model them on Tikki, who is Owner's cat made of Teak wouldn't you know! by Owner's dear wood carving in heaven now, Dad.  they were on Maximillian snow leopard who has kindly lent them to tikki. (thank you Max).  We love them. and it turns out that a billion pounds was raised which can only be to all our good and Africa too.  and if there are any nice Africans reading this humble blog, we send you lots of our good wishes. x
 
Final smart para.  WHAT? you all cry as one is this smart business.  it turns out that Owner who fitted in a non essential shop (yet another swim suit, I ask you) sped on to aged sibling who has already remarked on Owner's hair, from thence (like it, old fashioned but such a word!) to aged parent who was in a rather tip top mood.  So good was this mood, that she did say YOU HAVE HAD YOUR HAIR CUT SHORT to daughter, when another aged resident piped up to say YES AND IT IS SMART.  and this, along with a pretty nice day (no splashings at the baths which was near on empty...) cheered Owner up no end.  She fell back in with the usual sacks of concrete aka cat litter and tons of new good as it is cat food, for us, ready for a champion eve.  We are glued to the Voice as you know, and may need to shout at the telly again if that nice Ryvita Ora picks the wrong one.  Then we cuddle up to all the nurseys and docs in Casualtee. tomorrow, Owner is to visit daughter and watch as many films as they can fit in, plus eating as many sweets, crisps, choc and more of the same.  Me? thanks for asking, I am already looking forward to a quiet day nestled in my box with maybe a few stares at Bertie Bubb and possibly a quick paw under the door with Rug.  Now do enjoy your eves out there in the Wold and go steady good folks wherever you are in it.  Big love Wonka x 
 
 

Friday, 13 March 2015

Fridee the Thirteenth

Wonka here.  YES it is also a thing called Red Nose Day here in this humble neck of the woods which is all about raising money by being funny (for folk in need. here and in Africa. x).  Owner had a small badge the size of a five pee coin on, that for the life of me I would not have noticed AND she nearly lost the back of it first thing.  Maximillian who is a snow leopard who lives on the window sill in the bay, he had a pair of those red ball things on an alice band.  I have to jump over him when I see Owner parking up in the car with no name, and I tell you it was nearly a leap too far today.  Fridee the thirteenth is said to be unlucky and as far as Owner is concerned IT WAS NOT THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE she droned to me.  Me?  thanks for asking, spent a quiet little ol day cuddled up to the few remaining scraps of paper in the box dreaming of zzzzzzzzzzzzz OH sorry, nearly dropped back off.  I love it.

Small para at the risk of tripping or falling over it.  There is a nice cartoon though and here it is:
 
There we are! do you remember Owner had a fab dream at the start of the week, full of promise and nice shiny new ventures possibly built on past events????  Well??? I have made Owner pop this on to inspire her after a rather lonely old day.  I COULD NOT she droned to me, PUT A FOOT RIGHT.  Even the little people it seems, observed (quote) 'you always wear the same things teacher' Now you know as well as I do, the mammoth effort Owner puts into her wardrobe taking into account that she will be freezing outside whilst the little people are flinging their coats off.  ~Take no notice I soothed up.  I DIDN'T she reports back, and realising it was THAT sort of a day with strange happenings, such as other teachers falling out with someone but it is all a big secret who it is.  I DID NOT, continued Owner, GET INVOLVED.  Well done!  I gasped up, full of admiration as Owner is not usually so tactful.  Meaning?  she quizzed me back... Meaning, I says, quick as you like it being smack on tea time, that given the weekend you will figure it out for Mundee.   And she will too.  Owner is like a cat with a mousey when it comes to detective work. I love it. x
 
Final discrete and careful para it being Fridee the thirteenth.  The tv tonight is saturated (like it) with comic relief BUT Owner will insist on Corrie X 2 and the continuing saga of Owen's ex who wants to take Katee, the daughter she has only just re hooked up with, to the far side of the moon aka Portugal. (sorry Portugal) PLUS there is the story of Gail and Michael.  but the most thrilling story of all is on  the shoulders of Tracee who could dibb (is this a word says Owner but I says it is now) Tony in anytime and then Liz will know she has been TWO TIMED.  We did watch Banished last night, and now we understand why all those sorry folk were shuffled off to Australia.  We can just about cope with them all on our telly for an hour.  (sorry Australia. and especially the west side we think.  we are to blame in the first place for sending the least likeable folk to start you off.x)  the weekend is here hip hip goes Owner, and Ruggles is safely in after popping out this morn and having to wait all day to get back in.  Bertie is even now nestled in the Narnia cupboard and has been out for the usual.  Do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 12 March 2015

Happy People Thursdee

Wonka here.  Everyone, says Owner, on her return from being with the little people, has been in a good mood and happy.  HOW COME I says up, mainly as it was close on me being starving.  THE SCHOOL, goes Owner, entered a ROCK CHALLENGE competition and came first!  blow me down, I says back, all fur aquiver!  it seems that they danced their socks off to a dance routine and from what Owner reports up, it would not have been out of place on Britain's got Talent.  The thing was that this school is now on the map and must all go and do it again in Grimsby.  ~and we will keep you all posted as to their success. We love it.

Fresh and smiley para.  Due to this, no one, not even Owner was in a poor mood setting and when she whipped to the supermarket that is friendly and kind (but making a loss.  What is the relationship between customer friendly and loss making we wonder up and when we have a rainy day we might spend more time on it....) even there, she encountered (like it) more smiling happy people.  IS IT, I put to Owner, just that when YOU are smiling and happy, the Wold seems the same?  eh?  She didn't hear me above darting out back to check the shed.  On the way she found more Daffodils poking up amongst last year's herbs.  It really does seem like Spring is coming........ and we love it so much x

Happy para with a cartoon in it.  Today's cartoon is a mystery to me but Owner says she knows what it is....
 
There we are!  that is what happened to Owner yesterdee!  She is all ready to go and be made a fool of (sorry School) with her outfit TICK, hair TICK, bag packed HUGE TICK.  It would have done Mary Poppins proud. OH and her boot polished too,  and then the phone brrrrnnnggs and it is all cancelled.  Not going to work though was fortuitious (OH!) as you know Owner has finished our Easter Story and is therefore a very happy Owner.  I love it. x
 
Final happy days para.  The little people were all very well behaved and only made a few comments about (list) 1.  Owner's earrings, which are small and have Indian Cherokees on them. 2.  her eyeliner and 3. her badge (brooch).  all of this is said without any fear of criticism and is just a direct observation that Owner can cope with. I do love those little people she droned to me.  Now whilst she was beavering away, I settled nicely in my box and Bertie was hiding out in the Narnia Cupboard.  Rug had asked to go out spot on the time that Owner was leaving and she said NO RUGGLES, you must wait.  He has gone what Owner calls 'frisky' and has been out back sniffing noses with Gingertop.  I ask you.  he cannot 'do' anything says Owner, as he has been 'done'.  Say no more.  And I'm not going to.  Now tonight we may cuddle up to Banished if we can stand the soldiers and the convicts, and the governor and the vicar person.  Before that luckily, and to keep Owner's good mood on the go, is Masterchef followed by Enders.  yes.  Cat seems to have a new and confusing storyline and Stacee still has that same look and that scarf.  Now tmro is looming and is Fridee; we are leaning towards the weekend folks and it is all good. So do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Story Day Wednesdee

Wonka here.  guess what?  YES you clever old folks out there, that was right first time.  Owner was up on time, hair went beauty including eyebrows (don't ask), I was nicely and so was Bubb and Rugg, then BBBBRRRNNNGGGG.  Oh hallo goes Owner all polite and such, and it is her good consultant to say the School has cancelled.  OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE goes Owner....secretly folks she was rejoicing.  it meant (list) 1.  she could stop fretting about controlling uncontrollable medium sized people and some of them larger than her 2. she could instead watch the rest of The Budapest Hotel *(review will follow) 3. generally relax 4.  FINISH OUR EASTER STORY 5. maybe go out. 6. maybe buy a non essential.  so although she is FED UP with this now you are now you are not business, she has had some precious time.  Which, she droned to me, you cannot buy Wonka ! I love it.

Storified para.  Folks, the first draft is now complete.  Our new Duffel story especially for Easter is nigh!!  it is set right here at the seaside, and you will love it.  Owner has even finished all the illustrations.  Due to this, I have let Owner off with her latest purchases of swimwear.  Yes.  if all goes to plan and Owner goes steady this will be available on www.smashwords.com in the next couple of weeks.  and to celebrate this we must have a little cartoon for you.
 
There we are! Owner's first sketches of Duffel and Sam, the legend who used to be Owner's dog in real life.  You may remember that Owner's Dad used to tell her and her brother stories about Duffel when they were children. The Duffel stories are the result! brought to life, for Easter.  We love it and hope you will too. x
 
Final storified para.  so today has been a nice dreamy day until Owner sped off to the shops fitting in a visit to aged sibling.  I had to shout above the hoover, she goes to me on her return, and he kept asking me about my haircut.  What I says, to say he liked it?  he kept asking when I had it cut, she goes.  Now if you are expecting a compliment folks you do not visit aged sibling as he is prone to stick to facts only.  Luckily Owner is so happy with her haircut that you could say to her face you hated it and she would not blink.  I love it.  Bertie is even now in the Narnia cupboard and has popped out to mangez (hallo France!) and use the facilities.  Rug has been out, as far as under the bench out back and is now settled in the warm.  It is hard to take in that only a few months ago he was a hobo free and wild.  That's Owner for you.  She would domesticate anything.  Now tomro she is back with the little people UNLESS that is cancelled too, so we are in for a pleasant eve what with Corrie and the double dealing real Michael's son not to mention Gavin stroke Andy who is in deep trouble.  Enders has sprung up on the wrong night and this may set Owner back BUT there is Masterchef on at the new and annoying time of 7 30 pm.  it is a muddle and we love it.  do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Fast and Furious Tuesday

Wonka here.   HALLO it is full of sunshine here and nice to wake up to the light and a sunny filled room.  What else you all mumble up is going on to report. a few dreams that Owner keeps on having and it is of her old hairdresser this time, that she has not seen for many a good year.  Why, you all wonder up, dream of him now?  Indeed, except to remind you that Owner amongst a great many other things is obsessed with her hair, and hair does mean (according to her good dream book) a few things LIKE having your hair cut means a new venture stroke project! OOH it is all sounding good, folks out there full of worry about Owner and her fortunes (or lack of them).  Even better she has decided that the old ship wreck, also in her dream, was of a ship with sails on it, rising up from the sea! Was the sea all calm and such like I quizzed up full of interest (spot on breakfast time)?  It was a beauty blue and the sun was beaming down, she reports up.  This, is the best bit folks, as that ship, is full of Owner's lost treasures rising up once more.  And to round it off?!!  Owner is pinning it all down to 20 years ago, as this is when the hairdresser started to cut her hair.  In sum, something from Owner's life around 20 years' ago is about to bear fruit and I will wash my paws and everything if it doesn't come to pass!  I love it.

Fast and furious para:  hallo?  what is all that about then you all gasp up, just about recovering from Owner's revelation.  First thing does the good agency ring.  Owner was still coming to terms with a new day and the cold that has clung on for a good month surely.  sneeze sneeze blow nose sneeze....BBBBRRRRRNNNNGGG.  The first time she left it the second time she answers it and says NO I cannot do a day's work.  The second time it rings it is Owner's best consultant begging for help. Alright goes Owner, I will try to change my appointment. There then followed a game of can you change the appt, NO, sorry I cannot get the appt changed, then, OH YES I can change the appt, OH I can work for you after all, then SORRY Someone else is doing it now.  WHAT you all wonder up happened next.  Owner is not working after all and the appt, which is her new and beloved hair rescuer had to turn up right on teatime.  And cope with Owner being indecisive.  Can your fortunes hurry up and change Owner so we do not have to muck about like this I said as I threw yet another coin into the wishing well.  I love it.

Fast and furious para with a new and interesting photoshoot:
 
There we are!  Owner has received these in the post and they are worry dollies!  WHY has she been sent them and not you is the next question.  Thanks for saying, and I have asked for some worry cats especially for Bertie who would be counting them back in the bag all day long. He even has a pillycase to put them under, as does Ruggles.   YES I have a bit of paper in my amazon box.  Owner has already put them all in the little sack and says five are not enough.  The bit of paper with them says they are Guatemalan Worry Dolls and part of a legend there for the children to place their dolls (worries) under the pillow and in the morning all the worries have been taken away.  Thank You! Guatemalia, and we love you. x
 
 
Final fast and furious para.  What has Owner done to deserve such an up and down work one minute and not the next day?  BBBBBBRRNNNGGG and it is the dread agency who will not leave Owner to her own devices.  She is now set to working tomorrow with bigger and more challenging people for a whole day.  The only thing that can save her is looking a million dollars.  I did say if you start the transformation now Owner you could just do it, but she didn't hear me above going through her entire wardrobe.  I love it.  Now last night we were not disappointed with Corrie as the whole wedding fiasco fell to pieces with the real Michael's son Gavin or Tracy or someone, telling Gail all.  she was late to the alter and Michael told her IT WAS NOT ON.  tonight we are stuck with Enders and the never ending story of any of them really.  Dead people keep coming back as alive, or the other way round, and then it is Holbee.  Once more we are clinging to dead and alive people and some of them are arrested for killing patients or falling in love with the wrong one, or falling and dying and them coming back to life again.  Talking of love, Owner is still on the right side of it, Rug is in love with my catnip fish that swam into the kitchen and Bertie is dreaming in the Land of Wardrobe.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x