Saturday, 16 September 2017

TOYS and Aliens.

WHAT NOW Wonka you all wonder up slowly coming to grips with it being the weekend?  Folks, Owner has seen it or heard it or even made it up.....HOW can I be sure but she thinks there will be a new TOY STORY 4.  Are you getting muddled up with the Alien series Owner I said until she firmly reminded me there are more Aliens than that.  And she should know folks because she insisted, for a treat, on watching all of them YES ALL OF THEM in a film fest for her Birfdee.

And now, the first spaceship engineer to be slaughtered in space by said Alien, has gone off to the next room.  That is Harry Dean Stanton folks, who, in the film and at Ripley's request went on a mission ALONE to find the ship's cat...........the good news was that although he got snaffled up by the nasty creature hiding in the pipes, the cat made it home!!! This alone kept Owner keen to cuddle up to Aliens, Alien 3 (half way through this.  I have been watching bits of it folks from behind Owner's head on the back of my giant nest the settee,X)and the other two are lined up.  ALL in readiness folks for the newbie alien film.  Will you be alright watching it Owner I said up, you know how nervous you get.......I CAN WATCH IT IN THE DAYTIME she droned to me.  I know.X

There we are!! Me and Ruggles with our Xmas toys!!X
POURQUOI you all shout at me now, are we looking at this Wonka??!!  Owner suddenly challenged me on the extent of my toys.  ARE YOU PLAYING WITH THEM?? she goes to me out of the blue when I was nicely by the searing hot rad. (Yes the heating is back on thank goodness folks.  We don't go in for that extra jumper thing in this house.X) I have to say that beyond giving one of my tinkley balls a good bat down the hallway now and then OH and snuggling up to my ragged old catnip fish the thing I enjoy chasing I mean playing with most is Ruggles!! or Bertrude!!  Owner made me look at the big carrier bag full of toys PLUS the ones sitting next to it and everything.  Like you folks, just because I don't play with them every two mins, doesn't mean they must go to the green monster outback who eats up all the rubbish OR be given away to a needy cat stroke kitten. I will play with them I promise I said to Owner.  I mean.X
What else you all grumble has been going on Wonka?  Wall to wall birfdees folks where we just turn round from one Birfdee and it is another one!!!  and in case it is YOUR birthdee today then this folks is for you!! X
Have a wondrous day!! X
Boris has been here there and now is shouting about billions of £s and Brexit on toast again.  He has his adoring fans and he has everyone else who thinks he is a ninny.  WILL HE HAVE ANOTHER POT SHOT AT THE thorny crown of the Tory lot.  We think he will.  His Dad will tell him to 'Go for it Boris lad' and the next thing Tresa Grey will be in the history books and another farce will begin.  Back in labour land it has gone as quiet as a mouse and we do wonder if Jezzer is trapped on his allotment? perhaps a runner bean OR alien plant has got him?? Vinnie has been on a couple of marches and our beloved Greens are busy standing up for the environment.  We love them.X
PS donwald the Trump is still sending silly tweets off like a water pistol he cannot control the stream of silliness and silly people keep reading them too.X
In tv world we have clung to Corrie and Evah's big lie I mean wedding inches nearer to us.  Can Aiden, who looked drop dead gorgeous in a dress with a touch of make up on his stag night, still love her despite all the lies and that???  Reetah is still going bonkers and Feelan is still kidnapping Andy.  I know. In Enders as predicted NO ONE, de rien I mean PeRSONNE died in all the shooting and gas thingies.  Max has somehow been intertwined with all injured parties even making another attempt on Jane's life.  AS A FAIRLY BORING Character droned Owner, she is proving indestructible.  A bit like those Aliens folks.x
Now for reasons only logical to Owner she is desperate to get back to work and annoy I mean help all those students.  This means panic stations on Mundee when she goes into full throttle.  Me and Ruggles are sort of ready for it and will stand easy whilst she does her sufi dancing and eventually slides out of the front door.x  Bertrude as you all know, will not notice any difference whatsoever.we love her. X
Now do all of you go on to enjoy the weekend what is left of it, and a bit of telly that is any good to watch.  Owner will insist on the Hex Factor and Casualtee if it is not shoved to one side for a football match or some athletics or something else we never watch.X
wherever you are folks fluff up your fur and tingle those whiskers!! Big Love Wonka X

Monday, 11 September 2017

An Egyptian Tale!! X

Before you say anything folks like WHAT IS THIS NEWS Wonka!!  I am proud to tell you that the story that has been released into the wild IN PRINT last February is now available
on ....YAYZERS

Is that the one with Ramondo in it?  YES.  End give it a whirl once it has completed its conversion thingy.  YOU WILL LOVE IT as I do tell a whopping good tale.x
See you later!! big love Wonka X

Saturday, 9 September 2017

The Birthday Season X

IS IT YOURS WONKA? you all shout up suddenly interested and pleased.... NON! NYET and nope.  No one that is Personne knows when my good birfdee is so in the grand tradition of Winnie the Pooh another famous animal who is a bear, I am constantly having a very happy UN birthday!! so it is treats all the days AND I do try to share these with the others.  I do.X

It is just Owner who has a birthday on the horizon and yes they are all BIG ones now, but that nice chap in aged sibling's housing centre thingy cafĂ© said YOU LOOK 17! and Owner has been very happy ever since.  Said sibling has had his birthday and my best Auntie that is Owner's daughter has had her birthday so you see folks, it is the month for it.  AND let us not forget that good Prince Harry shares his day with Owner's.  End of.X

There we are!! Owner suddenly decided to do a new little advertisement for this very blog. Pourquoi? I says to her, thinking what has brought this flurry of advertising on.  IT IS ALL ABOUT MARKETING WONKA she droned to me saying things like BRANDING and TARGETS.  personally I think she is taking too much notice of those relentless nudges from FB but who am I??  ONLY THE MAIN CAT that's who! X
It has only gone and done that silly billy publishing thing when I am not prepared for it as if to get me back for saying things about the adverts.  I know.X
In other more exciting non birthday news, Owner is still busy at home and not at work not lifting anything heavier than a kettle.  if all the advisors had said DO NOT LIFT anything approaching Wonka, Owner thinks that is a better measure.  has she been relaxing and watching wall to wall tv, boxsets and films.  NOT a bit of it.  Instead she went off out, saying she would be back soon and instead shuffled back in HOURS later with a new hairdo.  THAT LOOKS NICE OWNER I said desperate for some tea time.  I LIKE IT she said rushing to wash it and blow dry it and spray it into submission.  Folks.  it looks a treat and was well worth all those hours with bits of paper on her head.X
In the wicked world of nasty downright silly politics we were liking anna soubry but now! maintenant, we have changed our minds because she won't keep still about brexit INFACT she is keen on it now.  the latest hashbrown on it is exit from brexit and we love it.  Vinnie Canble is heading up a MARCH and you know he is our fave senior politician and that jezzer is bottom of the list.  he may be tending to his allotment we don't know.  As for Tresa Grey she has grabbed a few headlines for refusing to talk to someone or other.  Same old same old.X
Thankfully amongst all the birthdays and hairdos and non kettle lifting there has been Corrie and Enders.  In Enders there was a gas explosion which unfortunately didn't carry off the long list of characters that Owner had prepared.  We are struggling to think of one.  BUT a gun went off (don't ask) and shot Jonnie that is thingy and Mick's son AND jane was left to die in the burning bistro thing that is Ian's. Despite loving her to the bench and back, he did nothing to save her and left it to mad max to leave her to die in there.  Is she dead? is she heck.  last but not least, stephen the one with the pretend everything is now dead.  HURRAH!! over in Corrie Reetah has come up with an ace excuse for forgetting stuff which is to blame it on the blood pressure tablets.  like the rest of the nation Owner went to google this to see if that was aged parent's demise.....Feelan the big bad wolf next to that other one who pretends to love everyone but doesn't (Meechelles' ex) is busy convincing Andy who he has kidnapped and kept in a cellar THAT HE IS going to set him free!! Only andy believes him so far.   We love it to shreds.  tonight it is the battle of the Strictly and the Hex Factor with Casualtee sewn on the end.  We love it we do.X
Next week is the big week for Owner and my work will be cut out making that day a special day.  it means checking on ruggles and Bertrude to the nth degree to see they are behaving.  Can I help it if all they do is HISS in my face and put their paws up? can I? Ruggles is fast over on the blanket box and Bertrude did pop out from under the bed for her breakfast and a small spat with me. I love them.x
Now do avoid being the wake of a hurricane or earthquake if you can they are very dangerous and we send lots of thoughts and keep safes to you if you are there.  NATURE droned Owner, will get us in the end. Either that or that chappie who is playing with fire over on the other side of the world.  Now do keep your furry chins up folks! tingle those whiskers and pad softly forward in the week ahead.  you never know it could be the best week of your life!!
Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 2 September 2017

Is it a Monster?x

Morning up folks and howdee up wherever you are.  WHAT is all this about a monster you immediately want to know.  The thing is, in this house there are lots of them.  Spidders COULD be a monster, that strange bug thing that made Owner go WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ( it was crawling along the curtain rail, until Owner spotted it, captured it, and released it into the wild to be a MONSTER out there.) well that was a Monster albeit (how I love that word.X) of a small variety.  but the big Q was all last week, for Ruggles no less, was: Is Owner's grandson a Monster?
There we are!!! and Ruggles would not be budged from his opinion.  for Ruggles, it is a well known fact that Monsters will use all means of enticement like speaking softly, popping plates of fresh chick under his nose, saying things like 'here we are Ruggles!' and 'hallo Ruggles!' NO NYET and NON - all these things in rugglesis book add up to being a full on MONSTER.  I am less wary me, and take it all in my striding hind legs.  I know that Owner has more to fear by way of getting grandson monster to make a move than set upon an innocent ruggles.  As for Bertie bubb, you've guessed it.  the worst that happened to little Bertrude was when Owner dropped her pot of reduced fat biscuits and it missed her bonce by a millimetre.  End of.X
What of Owner and her recovery?  She just had one tiny meltdown folks shouting at nothing (I could not see anyone.x) about her ability to cope.  I did say Owner are you proving the point but luckily she didn't hear me above her rant.  Once it was over we all fell back to normal and I ever spied her chipping away at her hair in the bathroom and if that isn't normal I don't know what is.X
yes it has been wall to wall soaps and wotnot when we could find them.  A LOT of things get moved so that a bunch of wild men can kick a poor little ball around a giant field but Masterchef saved the day and especially Ulrika, we love her.  Tonight blow me down but it is the Hex Factor returned to haunt us? liven us up? make us go funny?  You know that we are slaves to it in this house BUT Owner has said she is NOT OVERKEEN on Nicole thingy.  Owner reckons she is false beyond false.  Me?  thanks for asking and I do like Shazzer she is my fave. it matters not because we will be stuck to it all Autumn.  There I have said it.  September is a funny month chock full of birthdees and every year there is the worry about WHAT OWNER WILL DO ON HERS.  but not to fear folks, I have several hideys lined up!!!X
 None of those pesky politicians have said much and Tresa Grey just spent a fortune on a trip to Japan JUST to sip tea at one of their ceremonies.  Any of us good folk would be glad of a trip to Japan but OH NO it must be her. and then she must 'condemn' someone for doing something that any of us good folk would SEIZE an opportunity to say nasty things about.  AND she is on a massive amount of pounds to do all of this.  Hang on!!! Now I am having a giant rant.X (all Owner's fault it is.)
This week Owner span into action and has been talking up some of our stories all on my special FB page folks and here is the link:
You will see fab photees of ME and lots to do with our stories.  Go to it!! X
WHY you all shout at me, didn't you do that before Wonka??
I only just thought of it folks, PLUS, Owner droned to me to try it.X
So after a very upside down how's your father week, we are slowly coming Owner will get back in the car with no name and pop to see Aged Parent, her Mum.  HAS SHE BEEN OK Wonka, you all want to know.  She has been spoken to and reassured by Owner, that all is well and that funny dream she had (Aged Parent) about a big row between Owner and her daughter, hasn't come true. yet.XXXX
ARE YOU SAFE TO TAKE TO THE ROADS Owner, I whispered up to her from well behind the kitchen door. I FEEL FINE she chirps back busy doing all the things she has been advised to wait for weeks to do. You know how it is folks, there is the rules and there is Owner's set of rules.
Now just to spur you all on and mention that if you fancy a Chinese take away don't hold yourselves back.  IT IS Delicious according to Owner AND there is a fortune cookie too.  Owner's said this:
'You will soon discover your hidden talent.'
How soon, soon is, I cannot say folks but it was fun to read and fun to eat!! XX
Have a wonderful week, this first week in September, and look out for all the signs that the end of the year is approaching!! Big your fur up, flutter those whiskers and GO TO IT!! big Love Wonka XX