Thursday, 31 December 2015

Goodbye to 2015!

HALLOA UP folks out there all wondering what the fuss is about especially if you live somewhere and it is already 2016!!!

Here on our tiny rain soaked and in many places flooded isle (sorry if you are water-logged.x) it is still the last day of the year. 

HAS IT BEEN a good year Owner? I said full of interest it being nigh on my mid morning snack time.

She didn't hear me at first as she is glued to Swiss Family Robinson and dolly or molly or is it Dorothy McGuire and sorry if it isn't. she is wearing a fetching pink blouse that Owner says you couldn't find in the shops never mind on an island. End of. x

Well has it Owner? I repeated.................
Mostly Wonka, it has been a year to see my childhood dreams come true. (our story published she does mean.x) and a journey to Europe that showed me just what those pesky Europeans are all about.  YES? I prompted in that new and endlessly annoying way.
They are all about living together and getting on with it and sharing cultures and being proud of their own, she tells me up.  NOT A BIT LIKE US then I says helpfully.  It rather showed us up Wonka, she droned.  of course our tiny isle is good at some things, tv drama for a start off, and as for our talent shows............X

There we are!!! Me and Mousey, Owner and Bertie and Ruggles all wishing you good folks out there a scrap free big loving and trough full of biscuits New Year 2016.X
Has she made a resolution? you all shout up.
I did spy a list of things on the table, which I jumped onto from my sideboard lift off pad, to inspect the plant pot in the centre. GET OFF Wonka! Owner shouts at me.  It turns out they are daffodils and coming out early.  I did say so what if they are Owner, but she wasn't listening above checking in the Radio Times for today's wall to wall entertainment.  unlike yesterdee, there is plenty to see us through til midnight.x
There are two things that clash and Owner must decide which to watch.  This will take all day like the other decision.
Which is? you all now shout up being on the edge of your nests.
Whether to make shepherds pie or just continue eating rubbish.
The answer is not far away. 
Now in case any of you are thinking of making your own lists for 2016 here is my handy tip.  First hypnotise yourself by watching the drum go round on the washer then conjure up your old dreams out of storage or wherever you put them, and write them down OR like Owner, draw them.  One of them will be the real impossible dream and this one, is the very one to pounce on folks.
Give it a good wash round, and plot out how you are going to make it real.  simple!!! Have a wonderful day with plenty of zzzzzzzz and expensive biscuits and I will see you next year!!!
Big Love Wonka X and PS for our resolutions you must wait until next year too!!!! x

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

There's Nothing On!!

The cry has gone up in this house and many more we think.....
THERE'S NOTHING ON Wonka...................moans Owner 2 seconds after she finally sits down to rake through the good radio times. 
It is a wonder folks that we are all up and present and correct as early as we are.
HOWSO Wonka? you all wish to know.

As you know we have a good alarm to counteract Owner's inability to get up, unaided (except by me.x).  This morning, Owner fell back into a deep sleep after the first BBBBBBRRRRRNNNNNNGGGGGG.
Into a dream all about being late for school and not getting the lift she should have and FULL TO THE BRIM WITH ANXIETY.
It serves you right Owner I whispered up from well behind the bedspread.x

Herewith our good cartoon about the reception of new toys....

There we are!! more toys left to their own devices as Bertie and Rug ignore them just like I did!!! Owner reports she has played with them more, specially Rug's tinkley ball which she kicks into touch every time she goes in the kitchen. I love it.x
Now that we are edging up close to that eve of eves, the telly goes downhill we all know that.  Tonight there is no Aidan to admire, no Gleb whirling away, DE RIEN for Owner to latch onto and I will have my work cut out keeping her out of gloom ridden setting - standard for this time of year folks.  She will insist it is all over and is full of regrets for a good ten minutes until I remind her Corrie is on with another character called Aidan in it.  this folks, will be enough for now.  AND, Chicken Run is on and I do like a bird.x
Me?  thanks for asking. Feeling much brighter since Owner brought me a big tray full of REAL GRASS.  Why? I says up, could this not have happened at Christmas Owner???
IT WASN'T GROWN she tells me.
Bertie know no different, deep in his cavern on a fresh pillycase and now on a proper diet. he is a big fat pudding (sorry Bertie but someone must say it.x) and needs to cut back just like the good vet said ages ago. I MUST BE STRICT droned Owner. yes.x
Ruggles is so ancient he just does what he likes. I had a quick wrestle with my paw under the kitchen door and tried to look at him close up until Owner put a stop to it.  STOP IT Wonka!x
There is not much folks that a nice cup of builders tea won't put right.  Now it might be a grey and wind filled day out there BUT have a sunny-filled day on the inside. Big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 29 December 2015

Our Toy Story!

Owner says I must have an ant in my pant this morning.

HOW SO? you all question up, wide awake and back to work and all sorts of horrid things that have to happen between Christmas and the New year (there I have mentioned it.  2016.x)

Owner had set the alarm ready to sleep through it UNTIL, I patrolled the bedroom the bed the stairs back on the bed round the pillows WITH the occasional drawn claw.

I MAY AS WELL GET UP says Owner.........................

And really I have continued being what Owner describes as a (quote) downright nuisance Wonka!!!

But wait..................
What is that! you all shout at me together and as one. that folks, is my new wind tunnel I mean play tunnel.  Would you want to rush through it for enjoyment??? OF COURSE NOT.  but, to please Owner late last night, I crouched at the end you can see through the gloom, near to that silly dangly wotsit, and rushed through it!!!!!
NO I haven't been back again. It makes a frightening crinkly noise when you go inside it that, says Owner, is supposed to be enjoyable.  I beg to differ Owner. End of.X
Tomorrow, if you are as good as I intend to be..........there will be an update on Bertie's new mouse toy and Rugglesis tinkly ball. X
Now unless you live in a cave like Bertie you did not miss good Aidan Turner who was Mr P Lombard in then there were none.  Unfortunately, Vera who as it turns out was (quoting Owner again) 'off her head', suddenly takes it upon herself to shoot him dead on the beach.  It was still glamorous. Before that we watched more wall to wall telly with catch ups and repeats and everything. BUT it didn't stop Owner from having a worrywart night, toss turn toss turn turn toss. if only she would take my advice and save money on all else (non essentials) EXCEPT for my food, alright and berts and rugs PLUS decent biscuits etc (essentials) and we will survive. just.x
We all get the New Year jitters it is in keeping with the dregs of December which you can hear gargling down the drain and the new cold rush of January!! poetic or wot!!! now do keep warm and dry, and try not to annoy your not nibble or claw at the hand that feeds you!!! Big Love Wonka X


Monday, 28 December 2015

The Day After The Day After!

Are you over it yet?
OVER WHAT? you all whisper up.................
I asked Owner what day it was this morning when she finally announced it was getting up time.... it is the day after the day after, she told me.

and that folks sums it up nicely.x

This is accounts day in our house and this means I must BE GOOD for hours on end while Owner figures out (sorry!x) how much money we haven't got to last for the entire month of January.
This is the only time when my everlasting positive attitude and optimistic worldview (I have outdone myself and I know it.Fact.) let me down.  All I can see is a dwindling supply of my superior biscuits, cheap cement I mean cat litter, and cat food NO ONE in their right mind would eat.  On the other paw, Owner is relentlessly encouraging and full of it: 'IT WILL ALL TURN OUT OK Wonka.' x

Now for an update on our Toy Story:
Have you looked at it yet Wonka? you all want to know.
NO.  I have taken as much interest in my new Christmas play tunnel as the funny tasting and looking cat treats that were in my stocking.  Owner is hoping that the stranger in the night, who pops into the luxury shed and nibbles away at the cheap biscuits she puts out there (for starving strangers) will like them. it is waste not want not OUTBACK and if you please INSIDE.X
In other more exciting news, Owner has trailed through the jobs in our area and found one to apply for.  it is working for a bird sanctuary and has got my full approval.x
We have watched more wall to wall dramas and wotnot and Owner is in love with Aidan (then there were none) and he is still alive in it. We love Dickensian and despite her promise not to mention Bullseye, Sikes's dog one more time she has done. And finally, even though I tested her out with what day it is first thing she now thinks it is Tuesdee.  I rest my paws and everything......x
Bertie bubb is resting up nicely in the Narnia and Rug took a short constitutional (OOOHHHHH!) up the top of the yard before falling into a deep sleep on his heated pad.x
Do go on to have a fun filled day with or without those pesky accounts!  big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 27 December 2015

The Day After!

HALLOA UP!!! we all slept in zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz me included because we are worn out with festivities.

Did Owner get through yesterdee alright you all ask up full of anxiety and wotnot. ??????
After I shoved her out the best front door I could only hope and pray OH and eat a few more biscuits, check on Bertie and zzzzzz.
When she swam I mean trotted back in hours later she had this to report up:

There it is!!! the car with no name............... Owner reports that she left here in good cheer having done the manoeuvre of her life to get out of a very tight parking up. WHOEVER parked up that close to me deserves glhhsu7gngho!!!! she told me up.
THEN WHAT OWNER?? I asked up (yes it was smack on topping up time.x)
First up she says something (??) banged into her side wing mirror and it folded up in protest. I STOPPED the car and fixed it she says. OH. Then she is trundling on nicely and the car in front brakes and starts swimming for its life. OH I says up full of interest as suddenly it is interesting. So the car with no name swam too!!!
I DIDN'T KNOW IT COULD SWIM she says full of  admiration and such like. it turns out it had to swim a bit further up the river I mean road, and coming home there was a giant diversion. We love a diversion, and owner followed it faithfully and came out 2 yards further up the river I mean road.  This folks, is the sign of a good diversion.  it should never take you too far away from where you started.  End of.
Folks it didn't end there, as when she finally parked up nicely (I watched it folks and I can tell you it was a champion park up.x) she lifted the giant christmas carrier full of gifts from Daughter out of the swimmer car with no name, and the bottom fell out.
ALL THE PRESENTS sat on the wet pavement.  At the same time, she tells me (is there an end in sight yes there is.) the piece of chewing gum she had put somewhere sensible so it didn't stick to her new and beauty gloves stopped being sensible and stuck to the beauty leather gloves.  The neighbour who we didn't like anyway walked past Owner and did not offer to help.  LUCKILY Wonka, I had another carrier bag that wasn't a Christmas one, but it stepped up.  AND, I didn't like that neighbour anyway. NOR ME, I said back being a faithful and loyal cat especially when it is smack on tea time. x
SURELY you all say as one, the string of disasters stopped there?  nearly folks.  We just had to endure the ribbon snapping off Owner's best dressing gown but after a few sherries it simply didn't matter.
Me and Bertie and Rug?  had the best boxing day ever, with real chick pretend chick, biscuits and wall to wall tv.  We especially liked a hitherto (blimey) and unknown film called 'One Chance' with three stars and all about an opera singer who got on Brits got Talent and won it. HOW inspiring droned Owner. next up we got through Dickensian which I loved and if Owner says one more time where is Bullseye I may get a tiny claw out...... we ended up with:
And then there were none which is the most fab Agatha Christie's evah.end of. Fact. XXXX And Owner says she wouldn't mind being on the Island with thingy (it is alright I checked his name out it is Aidan Turner.X) We are hoping for more of the same today washed down with sherry (Owner) and zzzzzz (me) any food whatsoever (Bertie) and the back door open annoying all (Rug).
Have a day filled with wonderment yourselves! big Love Wonka X

Friday, 25 December 2015

Boxing Day!

Have you all come out the other side folks? and the burning question is: did Owner's Christmas Lunch avec aged parent and sibling, go as planned....................

HALLO! I shouted up from the luxury carpet as she fell back in fairly well drenched (another downpour folks) and looking a tad sober for my liking.  Yes she must hold back as she is driving BUT there is nothing like a good old family meet up to encourage A LARGE SHERRY or that is there? eh? EH??

Thank goodness to be home Wonka! she tells me up, and even said it was alright if I had totally ignored the cat tunnel play tunnel thingy wotsit that cost a fortune and I am not grateful etc... this can only mean one thing folks out there all clinging to the edge of your new or fairly new or downright old settees. it was a disastrous lunch. x


HERE we are!! This is just one set of our lights folks, and it is Santa because when the going gets tough we need Santa. Fact. (and sorry everyone else who thought they were needed. X)

Now today is a new day and we are hopeful of it going right.  YES it is more family meetings BUT I am of the opinion (get me) that the problem lunch has been done with, and only good lunches stretch before us.  That, and a load of presents and stockings. and for ME, more real chick. (thank you chick!X)

We have watched so much on the tv it is hard to pick the best but I am going to: we were glued to Christmas Day Corrie and Beloved Downton. Owner has fallen out with Strictly and will watch call the midwife special at another, more convenient time. WHEN IT IS NOT CLASHING. she droned to me.  I cannot say anything as her mood over the holiday season is paramount (I have outdone myself and I know it.x).

Now to all you boxing day folks out there OR non boxing day folks I send you dollops of peaceful rays and calm.  Bubb is calm, although still coughing (I cannot worry over that now says Owner.x) and Rug is calm and covered in clumps of fur and strange skin things (I cannot worry over that now says Owner,x) Needless to say, I am to be worried over and I love it.
Be good you folks and Big Love Wonka X

Merry Christmas!

Ho Ho Ho!! The day is here and guess what!

Owner has showed me my new and bestest present!

DO YOU LIKE IT WONKA??? she says to me, waking me up from my first in a series of naps.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz OH!

First off, I changed sides in my box so I could view it with deep suspicion better.  Then, I approached it with caution.  From both ends of it.  Then, I totally ignored it.  it says it is a play tunnel with a cat toy that all cats love and they have been making for 35 years. Fact.

DO YOU LIKE THEM WONKA???? she says to me, shaking catnip drops and catnip biscuits and milk drops treats that all cats love into a saucer for me, Bertie Bubb and Ruggles.  She gave Bertie the mouse out of the special Christmas stocking that all cats love, and Rug has the tinkly ball. No one has stirred from their first nap of the day....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. x

And so:
Our final advent for you all, on the day itself Day 25!! Wherever you are we are sending you some Christmas Spirit as we all need this to see us through. As Mr Dickens said:
'I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.'
and we love him! X
I will keep you posted on my new play tunnel, it is bright green with playful cats all over it.  The toy?  it is a small furry thing at the top end. I know. X
Now today it is aged parent and sibling turn to enjoy the company of Owner. the sherry is ready and waiting for her return. yes.  Now in other news, the winner of masterchef was Mark but we wanted Scott. We also watched a film that Owner announced she loved and why had she not seen it before.  it was the best exotic Marigold Hotel. We have awarded it 5 star. End of.
Do have a proper and made up day yourselves folks and me and Owner alright and Bubb and Ruggles send you lots of love on this good day.  Good will to all animals!! Big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 24 December 2015

The Day before Christmas!

Are you ready folks? Owner is sort of.

I MIGHT GO TO THE SHOPS one last time, she says up.

We must bear in mind it is for ONE DAY ONLY that all must be perfect EVEN if the other days can be getting there.  Personally, I am all in favour of Owner going out for a nice breath of fresh air (it is blowing a gale) and some nice cleansing rain (it is pouring. Fact.x).  This will be before a frenzy of baking and such like BUT not up to Masterchef standards. More about this down below.  AFTER:

It would not be a proper fully fledged Christmas without a mention of Wonka's Christmas Story!! Do get yourself a copy, as you will Love It!! surprise your local bookstore and order one....X
We stayed up specially to watch the penultimate (GASP) masterchef.  there are three chefs left battling it out in sunny Italy. (X) in a beauty kitchen making salads that look like gardens. yes. WHO ARE THEY? you all shout up to know.  NICK, SCOTT and MARK.  And the winner is..... we want either Scott or Nick to win.  Nick is like Uncle Buck and is a generous hearty cook.  Scott is full of beans and Owner says he is PERSONABLE. Yes.  What of Mark you all say full of sympathy.  He is a bit hit and miss and what Owner calls predictable.(sorry Mark.x) In other words, it is anyone's game (Monica and Gregg and Marcus.X)
Has Owner been through the Radio Times with a fine toothcomb? YES. Am I being Good? YES.  and the best news of all, is that after a good fight round the shops yesterdee, Owner returned with a mysterious blue carrier bag. 
DON'T LOOK IN THERE WONKA! she tells me up. 
Well of course I've wandered near to it a couple of times...........could it be a special something??? yes I spose I must share it all with Bertie and Rug as that is the spirit of Christmas.  And you folks out there all cooking and wrapping and such like....I just have this to say:
The spirit of Christmas gets in just about everywhere, in your kitchens where you might have a Ruggles cat like us, in your bedrooms where my giant nest is, in your living rooms and Narnia cupboards where there is room for a Bertie Bubb or get ready! Be nice and Play Fair! Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

The Eve of the Eve!

Bonjour! Halloah! Howdy folks out there all thinking:


Even Owner is wondering what day it is, mind you that doesn't mean anything! (only joking!x)

Here we are!  And who else but ME, plus my stocking............... X
Yesterdee Owner watched a dvd all the way through to the end.
DID YOU LIKE IT? I says, out of interest and specially as it was snuggling up to my best tea time. NOT REALLY she says back.  it was all about a robot that took over.   OH, I says still maintaining (OOH) interest.  Luckily we have two more dvds and one of them is my bestest fave: Mr Holmes.  second best fave is: Jurassic World. I love a detective and I am partial to a dinosaur. end of.x
Today we are set for the unexpected.  Owner has already taken a call from an agency that is unaware, yes UNAWARE that she is on the scrapheap and couldn't do a hard day's graft if you paid her. BUT she remains optimistic.  THEY ARE NOT TO KNOW, she droned to me, THAT I AM PAST IT.  Well you said it Owner I whispered up from deep in my amazen box.  Someone will want you I says with lots of encouragement...........................surely??X
I could always continue on with my writing and illustrating and such like, she says and personally, as long as ME, and Bertie and Rug have enough biscuits in our trough - I am cuddling up to that idea and giving it my best whiskers!!!
Have a wonderful eve of the eve folks and go steady with your shopping - no impulsive buying! Owner has been warned. Fact.x
Big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Ohohoho! Tuesdee!

Owner is in possession of a good mood.
'I'VE WOKEN UP FEELING OK' she told me first thing as I lightly dabbed her lip with my claw.  it was nigh on breakfast time and I did feel OK and Peckish.  thankyou. x

The other good thing is this: Owner thought she had Mr Dickens, our hero's bestest Christmas Story ever. WHERE IS IT? she wonders after a good 2 minute search.  I did suggest she do a more thorough search folks - of at least ten mins.  This, produced a result.
We have a best copy which used to be aged parent's and we love it.
It's beloved Ruggles!! For Day 22 of Wonka's advent.... and not just him but Gingertop in the background.  Outside looking in.  Gingertop will star in our new story for 2016 folks, 'Wonka's Egyptian Tale'!! X
Did Owner's visiting go down you all wonder up?  A TREAT!  She fell back in going on about being exhausted and pouring with rain and what the shops were like - all I wanted to know was, have you got me a Christmas present yet Owner?? she reported up looking at lots of tinkly balls (got them.x) millions of mice (got them.X) and dangly toys (got them too.XX) and is having a rethink.
I HAVE GOT YOU REAL CHICK FOR your dinner she says.  This means a prayer must go up to the chicken that is now in a packet.  We love you and give thanks Chick. X
Today must be more relaxed continued Owner in her (spelling) new and benevolent (need a nap now,x) mood.  I was fairly relaxed until an invader appeared at every known window CLEANING them so he could look in and see me better! I thought it was a Viking, but now I have read up on it, it could have been a Saxon, or a Gaul. yes.X (Owner says more likely to be a Roman as they were keen on baths and water and plumbing.  End of.x)
Now like us, I beg you to have a relaxing and calm day.  Ruggles is even now demonstrating this on top of his linen basket on his heated pad nest.  Bertie has had his daily coughing fit (Owner says it is kennel cough) and nicely on his pilly case in the Narnia.  Me? zzzzzzzzzzzzzOH! x  and remember to fluff your fur up!
Big Love Wonka X

Monday, 21 December 2015

Day 21 of Wonka's Advent!

Here we are! only a few more days and Owner will be going hither and thither (blimey) and it all starts today with a trip out to daughter. Are you sure Owner, I questioned up, you are not off to Europe? 
'NO' she tells me, stumbling out with enough bags to go round the world with.  and this folks, is not even the xmas bags!!!

I'll go to the bottom of our stairs if it isn't Bertie!! to wish us a happy Day 21! and he's even got his own stocking......x
Now yesterdee went well thanks for asking, Owner tripp trapped into town and purchased the FINAL Christmas gift.  end of.
Did you park up alright Owner? I asked, thoughtfully, it being smack on tea time.
A SILLY GIRL HONKED HER HORN at me, she droned back.  it turns out, because Owner was content to sit nicely in the car with no name, instead of trying to squash round another car, the girl or child driving the mini behind got annoyed.
SHE THOUGHT I SHOULD HAVE SQUASHED round it instead of waiting for the car to move, continued Owner...zzzzzzzzzzzzz OH!  Now as far as I know folks, Owner does not like aggressive drivers, OR being told what to do.  This is despite being a bit bossy herself (fact.x)
Did you move Owner?
As I say, apart from this miniscule incident Owners day was a success. Even watching the film about a loyal and faithful dog which made her cry buckets, was ok followed up by Toy Story 3, also a weeping film. x 
It was rounded off by The Apprentice and Lord Sugah. Owner was very surprised when Joseph and his plumbing works was chosen.(she is still recovering from the judging on strictly.end of.x)
You're hired goes Lord sugah! Poor Vana and her dating thingy came second which as we all know is useless. x
It is Mondee we all know that BUT it can still be a day and a half. Give it your best chance like I am doing!  big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 20 December 2015

Early Doors Sundee

Now what says you, what is all this early doors business?
I MIGHT AS WELL GET UP says Owner on the day when she could sleep in........................personally I am not against early mornings as it means I am not starving and have to do the dab with the claw.  I reserve this trick AND only bring it out on special occasions. (alright once a week or so when Owner simply will not stir.x)

This morning is Day 20 for goodness sake so let us see.......
Blow me down it is the star from #joeschristmas ! and did you know folks out there all half asleep, you can make a wish on this star?  Close your eyes, and make that wish and remember to send it to the star.....then just you sit back and wait.x
Due to it being Sundee you'd think Owner would stop for a minute.  She did stop for a minute upstairs whilst I was helping her make the bed (I lay on the fresh bedding to make sure it is aired.Fact.x) yes she did stop to listen to the gulls all swooping round the early morning sky. I LOVE TO HEAR the gulls she says to me (so do I.x) but Wonka, I also like to hear blackbirds first thing greeting the new day,  And guess what folks.  YES! did two blackbirds start up.
Maybe, just maybe it is a day for wishes to come true.x
Now yesterdee, Owner just about survived the yearly outing with aged sibling for Christmas festivities. Only one row according to her when she fell in through the good front door later on. At least I says, there is the Strictly Final...... OF COURSE we watched it! Owner can only sulk for so long and I said a week is long enough. We cast our spells for kellie and kev but the good public thought different. Personally I think we are danced out and need the Apprentice final to sort us out..... Lord Sugah will hire one (let it be Joe we love him) and fire the other one...thingy.
Now I want all of you to have a hopeful and wish fulfilled day and I PROMISE to not go up to Bertie in his comfy little nest and look at him anymore today!! OR annoy Rugglestop! and you must be nice to everyone too, so best paws forward and whiskers a quivering! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Hey Up Satdee!!!

Yes folks, somehow we have arrived at the last Satdee before the day............. are we ready or are we ready???!

There we are!!  Owner's fave ornament (alright one of them.x) and it is little donkey with a carrier at the back that has got things in it.  it is to celebrate Day 19 of my special advent and we love him!!!X
Now apart from going on a giant worry wart to beat all worry warts (no one Wonka will like my story, me, my life, my cooking, my outfit and so on and so forth Fact. x) Owner is fine.  She looks fine, and all is fine (except in her head folks.....x) BUT......
tonight is the night of the Strictly Final:
'Shall we watch it or not Wonka?' she says to me after a week of sulking. (we love you #Anita and #Gleb!!X)
'It would be foolish not to,' I says back full of love and compassion and wotnot.  Oh, and fair play.
Will Owner give in and watch it?? you will have to wait until tomorrow folks to find out.  I did say, Owner, no one NO ONE does a sulk better than you, but I whispered it as my trough was a bit low on best biscuits.  End of.X
Today Owner is flinging off out of it with aged sibling to a festive meal. We will draw a veil over that and go on to the next exciting thing to report up and that is folks out there are liking and reading our story (our Christmas story. Fact.X) What more could we ask?
De Rien as I like to say up!
Do go on to have favourite and fab Satdees yourselves all going about your Christmas business or not or what.  And whatever you do...............keep smiling!!!! Big Love Wonka X

Friday, 18 December 2015

Schools break out Fridee!!

Way to Go and Yippee say hundreds and thousands of childer across the land because it is the LAST DAY OF TERM.

There we are!!Day 18 and it is from #Diva and it is her special life plan all created by Good Fairy and stored safely in the carved wooden chest, until............ you might want to read it folks and if you do, it is free, with love from us to you! on X
What you all wonder up, happened to Owner yesterdee and did she fall into a gloom?? IT WAS AVOIDED folks!! HOWCOME you all shout up as one? I made her (list) 1.  have a rest (tricky but I managed it.) 2. clean the entire downstairs whilst I was upstairs. (tick) 3. do some more writing to our new Egyptian Tale (large Tick.X) 4.  Watch a strange but intriguing film (OOOHHH) with David Niven in it. (Fact) called: ' A matter of Life and Death.'
In it, this pilot (Mr Niven) crashes his plane and dies THEN he is saved by heaven who make a mistake BUT he has to argue a case for love in a celestial court..... it is a massive court full of dead people who are more alive than we are..... (Owner says) and personally folks it was EPIC plus it was a proper black and white. ~What Owner calls 'the olden days Wonka. (fact.)x
All in all, I think I saved the day folks and as for today?  An outing for Owner and a visit to aged parent.  This means I can relax and take it steady. Ruggles has disappeared off on one of his mystery tours, and Bertie had made a brief and tantalising (GET ME) appearance outside the cupboard.X
What has really chuffed Owner up is two things. a happy dream to wake up to. (a pink birthday balloon on a bike handle....I KNOW ridden by someone she likes.  I KNOW.x) and second up, First Dog on The Moon ( who Owner admires from afar and we both LOVE his cartoons for the Guardian replied to Owner's tweet to wish us a merry wotsit!!! We are MADE UP!.X
On this thrilling note, we bid you a very happy Fridee especially if you are a childer about to break out! Fur up and Whisker up!! 
Big Love Wonka  X

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Day 17 is here!

Are we hopeful and full of faith still in this household??
Reasons to stay cheerful and NOT go funny (Owner.x)

1.  Good Yorkshire Water sent Owner a refund, for an overpayment made..............................8 years' ago.  this is an EPIC reason for Owner to cheer up and stop moaning that she is on the scrapheap, she is old and ugly and wotnot. x
2.  The funny dry patch on my back ('What is that Wonka?' says Owner full of fear and dread) is not bigger nor smaller than yesterdee.x
3.  Ruggles DID come back yesterdee from whatever mystery place he ran away to.x
4.  He has not run away today, he has gone back to bed.  End of.x(and Fact.x)
5.  Someone is reading the Wonka stories on and we love him her or them X
6.  Owner has received (how posh am I?!x) a merry Christmas email from the Public Lending Rights to the British Library. WHOA. this is because (we think.x) that good folks who want to borrow Wonka's Christmas Story from a lending library CAN!! x

hang on? Can I hear a dog barking with delight???
I thought so!! and it is Diva woofing up, for Day 17 - there she is with her Owner, Em, and Gordon. Oh and I think I spy good fairy at her ear, and bad fairy by her tail.............x
In other more exciting news, Owner is starting to talk more freely about Strictly.  You will recall folks, the terrible demise and debacle (hey up!!) of Sundee's result show, when the Judges all failed in their job of picking the right couple - our beloved Gleb and Anita? since then we HAVE NOT BEEN ALLOWED to watch It takes two (Zoe the Ball) OR listen to Mr Evans on his breakfast bingo of a show chatter on about the FINAL. Will Owner relent and let us watch the show on Satdee??? Watch this space folks.......x
Now yesterdee, was a nerve jangling day droned Owner to me, and she was INCHES away from losing her temper. And? I says up in the horrid annoying way...... I LIKE TODAY better she told me. it's a start folks and that's all I'm saying. Now if you, are a bit nerve jangled yourselves, take a tip from me:
Have a couple of biscuits to stock up your energy levels, have a few zzzzzzzzzz and then, you are ready to face the world!! Until tomorrow folks, Big Love Wonka X


Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Warming up Wednesdee!!

It might be raining outside (fact!x) but inside folks, we are all set for Day 16!!

We always like a candle or two in this house, and now Owner has stopped buying those smelly expensive ones (Tick.x) we make do with ordinary tea lights and what folks, is wrong with that? DE RIEN. for special occasions LIKE Christmas, we might splash out for a red one.  OR get one as a gift. (we had a penguin last year.  NOT A CANDLE or Owner would need counselling to set it alight BUT encased in the penguin was a tea light.  End of.x
In other equally exciting news, Ruggles went out this morn in the pouring rain (as forecast along with bands of this and milder that) and didn't come back within the usual 5 minutes.  This meant a FULL ON RUGGLES alert. We wondered if he had joined Tim Peake up on that space station (the one with the unfortunate (OOH) initials of ISS folks... mind you......x) but NO!!! I heard Owner give out cries of 'there you are!' and 'Goodness me!' followed by a large helping of food JUST for trotting back through the poor back door.  I mean.x
I do not as you know suffer much from jealousy and in any case, Ruggles has not written a story OR had it published.  Big End of.x
Is Owner on the scrapheap you all wonder up, and the short answer is MAIS OUI, or DA, or WE GUESS SO, or....roll on the drums building to a giant crescendo JA VOL. No one, thanks to her repeated rejection of work yesterdee, wants her at their good, bad or indifferent school today. she said and I quote:
'Wonka, I remain optimistic.'
I did say, never mind you what about me, me, me and the bubster (sleeping it off in the Narnia cupboard) and Ruggles (asking to go back out in the persistent rain.) then??? But she didn't hear me above writing out some charity Xmas cards to the remaining friends......Now that the Strictly dancing has lost it's sparkle, and the hex factor has sung itself out, we are left with good Masterchef to keep us warm so thanks Marcus Scaring! I mean Wareing and Monica!! We love you lots.
Now do pop your macs on if you are trotting off out in it today, and keep your whiskers bristling BUT dry! Big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Faithful Tuesdee!

I tell you what folks out there already wondering is it really tuesdee (and it is.  fact.x) - my Owner has enough faith for the whole of our street.  WHY IS THAT you all shout up, now wide awake and concentrating...............
'Can you go to '95746o603yjey46 school?' says Kevin from Owner's bestest agency (the only agency. Fact.x)
'NO.' says Owner with a long explanation zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH, of why not.  it involved horrid nasty teachers who didn't help and horrid nasty students who were all rude.  End of.
We all fell back into a daze and then.........
'Can you please go to 'g90t605y- school' he tries again to convince Owner that she is the only person in the known area, who can go there for the day.
did she stick to her guns you all want to know hanging on the edge of your settees................
YES SHE DID and now we are surely facing a starvedom festive season.  and that folks, is why I say she has got the faith thing sewn up. End of and Fact up. X

To calm myself down here is.....................
There we are and it is Duffel Again!! Here he is meeting up with Madame Fortuna! Oh that crystal ball............x
In other more exciting news, now that Owner is |NOT rushing off to have an awful day with a bunch of childer ALL within scrambling distance of the xmas school hols - what is she doing?? First up (she tells me full of faith) she is trying for a job. (I did say, yes Owner, you are very very very very very trying, but she didn't hear me above turning the radio dial from good radio 2 to 4.  All because silly chris Evans was being nice to Anton who stole the dance off - from beloved Gleb and Anita. I mean.fact X) and 2.  rushing off to Radio Scarborough again, for a coffee this time and not to talk to a listener. OH, I says up.x
I have checked our biscuit supplies and we can keep going a day or two longer but after that I may have to say a few prayers AND pop a coin in the wishing well. YES it does work.  Fact. x
To all of you out there working hard and seeing little for it I am sending you a massive FAITH boost. I'm sure Owner can spare some.  so shake that fur and tail up!! big Love Wonka X

Monday, 14 December 2015

Merry Mundee!

AND then it happened good folks out there all enjoying a nice start to your day.
WHAT HAPPENED UP? you all shout up and ask me............

Beloved Anita and darling Gleb (who is perfect, from Russia x) were voted OFF.  I said Owner would go into a giant sulk and she did too. YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS she shouts at the telly after all the judges EXCEPT (very mysteriously, Craig) praised up the other dancer in the bad dance off. Uncle Len, who is the MASTER Judge of the dance universe and is always saying he will pickle his walnuts well Owner said GO ON THEN!  I cannot repeat most of it folks, and Owner has denounced it all in her best cartoon.  Even mousey was furious and that takes some doing.  End of. X

Here to calm us all down............
Well now, if it isn't that Bad fairy from our #Diva stories!! Owner thinks she must have been sitting on those judges shoulders and making them vote the wrong way!! it is Good Day 14 of our advent already!! X
In other more exciting news, over on the Hex Factor, the right one WON!! little Louisa Johnson who sang her little heart out, is the new bestest winner.  We had to listen to Coldplay, One D (twice) and Adele before we got there. Owner did go in the kitchen for Adele, but apart from that and a million moans and drones on the subject (get me) of Anita and Gleb we got through the night.(I did say to Owner I could have danced all night but she didn't hear me above the noise from those other two whirly and burly on the hex factor.x)
Now it IS Mundee, and a new week ahead, but I have a feeling in my best whiskers that this week is going to turn out alright. Best paw forward!! Big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 13 December 2015

Good Sundee

GOOD morning lovely folks out there all enjoying your sundee snoozles. I AM SETTING the alarm, droned Owner to me last night.  I mean, all Owner has to do is tell me what time to get up and I have no end of alarming actions:
1.  Dab (lightly) at Owner's lip.
2.  JUMP (quite heavily) on Owner's feet.
3.  BOTH!!!!!

I love it.  Now we need a new word up for today and here it is:
PHENOMENAL.  If you say it quickly it doesn't hurt so much and good Darcy judge on Strictly last eve, used it to describe beloved GLEB (from Rusky Russia) and ANITA's dance.  Craig slightly liked it and so did Uncle Len and Mad Bruno. They must get through to the Final or Owner will sulk and NO ONE wants that.  End of.X

Somehow folks we have edged up to another advent:
There we are!!! and it is DAY 13 from your bestest ever Christmas Story!!! Go and cuddle up to it now! X
I'm not saying that Owner is Stressed, OR not focussed OR in a dream world BUT when she fell out of the supermarket that is helping us with little yesterdee and expected a stranger's car to open up with the help of her car key.......that folks is the sign. IT LOOKED EXACTLY the same as mine she tells me up later..after she had parked up in the pouring rain and dragged all the fresh supplies in.  EXCEPT Owner, I goes back, it was not, the car with no name but some other car!!!!
She says she realised that when she saw that it was stuffed full of strange boxes and more significantly (get me) there were no teddies or toys in sight.  Thereby ending any comparison. X
Are we in for a nice relaxing day where all I do is move from my ZEN box to the side and have a few dreamies (biscuits which SAY they improve my skin and coat and I love them.x) have a peek at Bertie Bubb, maybe a quick paw under the door with Ruggles and plenty of zzzzzzzzzzz?? If Owner cracks on, and goes off out for essentials PLUS a swim (if it hasn't closed down for Xmas.  Owner is prepared for this.  What will you do Owner I asked up? Put up with it, she says back.x) - yes, is she finally goes off out, I can rest up.x
Do have a nice little Sundee yourselves folks, and keep that coat of yours clean and shiny, and your whiskers tingling!  Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 12 December 2015

Semi Final Satdee!

Folks it is all about Strictly on this grey mouldy drizzle mizzle Satdee.  You need to burrow down in your boxes, heated woolley pads and pillys and CONCENTRATE!!!! x

It is all about GLEB from deepest Rusky Russia and Anita from here. end of X

Also folks out there wondering what for, it is this day:

Here we are! DAY 12 ahoy! and it is all of us sending you lots of love AND 'Wonka's Christmas Story.' and if you haven't got your own best printed copy to cuddle up to on Christmas Eve..... what are you waiting for!!!! X
In other even more exciting news the best hairdresser in the known world (sorry to the others.I mean it.x) came round and did a wondrous job with Owner's locks. I LOVE IT Wonka she kept telling me up and I have to say I don't mind this as when Owner is happy it spreads.....we all get extras. X
After what seemed like hours of admiring her new barnet (this is a slang word folks for hair.  I know.x) she sped off to the good Radio Scarborough who are raffling our book, the Christmas Story! YES, she has scribbled something in the front of it and YES she is going back to them next week. I did say, try not to get a parking ticket this time Owner but she was too busy dishing out the fish and chips so I may have whispered it.x).
Now remember folks to say a prayer for Craig's no 10 paddle.  He is the ONLY Judge on Strictly to lose it. End of. Do go on to have a silly billy Satdee full of your best biscuits and overflowing troughs of food!!  Big Love Wonka X

Friday, 11 December 2015

Welcome to Fridee!

Willkommen! Welcome!Je t'adore and dobro pozhalovat!!
I am nothing if not cosmopolitan or is that an icecream?? sorry icecream if it is.x

Now we have all arrived safely at Fridee and Owner DID pop our latest story onto so you can all have a merry and free read with big love from us XX It is Conversations with Wonka part six and you will love it.  With a hanky. x

It is the Santa Tea Light for Day 11! and he is in our published story Wonka's Christmas Story.  Owner says she has never been so happy this Christmas time as all her dreams are coming true. And if her dreams are, that means mine are too!! x
Not to forget Bertie Bubb or Ruggles, how could I, I never would etc etc.... Ruggles has a freshly washed woolley blanket and Bubb has a clean pillow PLUS a fresh pilly case on it.  ME? thanks for asking, I have my comfort box from that nice company in the sky Amazen. it still has a few scraps of brown paper in the bottom for me to rustle round on and I love it millions.x
In other more exciting news we watched the final of our beloved series The Last Kingdom all about those pesky danes and King Alfred (NOT Arthur as Owner insisted on calling him for weeks on end until I warned her not to.x)BUT there will be more, more Uhtred and more battles.  We love it.
Today is our hairdressing day and goodness knows what colour Owner will settle on next BUT I will admire it and praise it OR risk a missed snack or three. Now do have a tip top Fridee folks out there and remember to put a spring in your paws and purr up!!
Big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 10 December 2015

Conversations with Wonka - Part Six!

And it is here folks:

Follow the link

and read all about Tinkers and the Boolleys - and here they are:

There they all are!  it is a Christmas story and you will see why it is joined to our other one (Wonka's Christmas Story) and why Owner took so long to write it. x

Owner so wanted to self publish this, so that you could all enjoy a tale for the coming season.  it is free to read, and we send all our best love and peace along with it!
Big Love Wonka X

Day Ten Advent alert!!

Howdy up folks, bonjour, happi days and a special spasibo (GULP!) to all our new visitors all the way from Rusky Russia!!! so far, Owner only knows Gleb Savchenko who is perfect and wonderful and used to live there but luckily now he is here and dancing the light fantastic for us on Strictly! We love him lots and tell Craig off all the time (Strictly judge) who doesn't like him! (darling)(end of.X)
The other thing we mentioned a while back is the one word Owner recalls from when she learnt (I don't think so.  not much Owner.) Russian at school and it is Slon or something very like that.  It means elephant and we are very sorry if it doesn't.X

Back to the very important Advent and herewith for today:
It's me!!! and there is our published story yipeeeeeeeeee     X
and in case you have been in jail, or asleep, or just not looking, it is Wonka's Christmas Story, and can be purchased (I did want to say purr-chased but Owner said not to.x) from the bookshop in the sky, good amazen or zon, OR you could pester them in an earthbound bookshop. End of.
In other more important news, Owner is gearing up to self publishing (like we always used to...) the next story and the minute she does folks I WILL GIVE YOU THE PAWS UP. x
Why? I says up this morning, after I made Owner realise it was time to get up (tiny dab with a claw, works every time and is more reliable that the alarm on her mobile.  it is so old folks it goes to sleep and needs an alarm itself.x) Why, I says up, is Ruggles set on going for a lie down in the lowly shed. I miss him.
GOODNESS KNOWS says Owner, who looks in on him in his box on the shelf and says IT IS TIME FOR TEA.....but while he is in there Wonka, I am washing and drying his pillycase and blanket.
It is non-stop washing in here folks, and all I can do is rest up while it is happening.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH!!
Now there is no zero hours for Owner today and not quite on the scrap heap BUT she has started a worrywart about our poverty stricken future. I have as per, been firm on this.
YOU CANNOT KNOW, I said reassuringly (Blimey!!) WHAT IS ROUND THE CORNER (I did say how lucky is that! but she didn't hear me above the washer on final blasting into space spin!)
Now do take it steady out there folks, with your Christmas hats on or off, and be sure to wrap up warm if you are going out - at least I tell Owner that when I say we are low on biscuits you must GO OUTside and buy more.......... Have fun whatever you are doing today and keep those claws tiny...Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Mid Week special!

Good morn, howdy and DOBRIY DEN' (Owner says this is good morn in best Russian and I am full of sorriness if it isn't. X)

What, you all wonder up, is so special about mid week then, eh? EH?  List: 1.  Owner has found the cats protection league advent calendar we get every year under a stack of paper, and opened all nine doors at once (special alert!!!!) it is a beauty picture of a cat in each one, and today is Salt and Pepper - two kitwits! 2.  Owner has two plans, A and B in case she had a shout for work and is on Plan B - full of nice things and shopping and such like. 3. Owner is in a good mood. End of reasons and list! X

There we are!! It's me and mousey for Day 9.X
In other more or less equally exciting news, there was a beauty night sky with dazzling stars (Owner spotted on a nightly excursion) and a beauty sunrise too.  This all has the makings of a special midweek day folks out there all muddling through. YES, Ruggles is still on the cusp of trotting up the yard to the lowly shed and Owner thinks he may be on with the nativity story.  Good Chris Evans on Radio 2 goes on about it with the children every morn, and Ruggles may have cottoned on.
IF I GO IN THERE, (droned Owner to him) AND find a parcel of kitwits, I won't be best pleased Ruggles!  We all know folks that if that happened, Owner would fall in love within minus one second, and my life would be confined rather.....which reminds me of 'Conversations with Wonka - part six' - telling the story of Tinkers and the Boolleys - coming to in time for Christmas. X
Now do go on good folks out there all in your own lands and homes, to have a special furry day, and remember to keep those whiskers bristling!! Big Love Wonka X

Monday, 7 December 2015

Back to it Tuesdee

yesterdee passed us by in a dream folks - there was nearly a shout for work, then there wasn't, there was nearly a very expensive non essentials shopping trip, then there wasn't:

HOWCOME Owner, I challenged up when she fell back in with a bag from that sparkles shop, YOU DIDN'T BUY that cardie ? EH??

It turns out that the cardie was for aged parent, and when Owner coaxed it to the till, the sales assistant announced it was over a hundred pounds (altogether with the other non essentials which I have passed.x) PARDON.....said Owner, surprised. and then...HOW MUCH??? and further down the line -----

SORRY, I looked at it without my glasses on.  Luckily, the sales assistant continued with the transaction (OOH) as if this was normal. and maybe it is in that shop. end of.x

There we are!! and it's a Conversations with Wonka advent!
for Day 8..............X
In other more exciting news, Ruggles is still popping into the luxury shed BUT coming home again, and Bertie bubb knows no different.x and, Owner has some work lined up.  Well Done Owner I says up, to spur her on and save us from starvedom. Plus, it was smack on one of my trough topping up times (how's that for alliteration folks!!! out done myself.x)
Finally, it is an entire week since our Christmas Story has been blowing about in the bookshop in the sky. thanks, amazen! x
~Be sure to have a good day dream yourselves folks out there, and keep that tail twitching!!  Big Love Wonka X