Saturday 30 December 2017

Wonka's look back and look forward! New Year 2018

WHAT HO FOLKS and thanks for waiting for my wondrous round up of Twenty Seventeen!! Was it good or was it incredibly relentlessly RELENTLESS????? X

 
 
There we are!! That was my little old tribute to 2017 with beloved Nicholas Bear (aka the Last Bear).  No doubt folks I will see this New year in just the same - snuggled down on my giant nest! Ruggles can shake down on his new best pilleycase and so can Bertie Bubb.  Fireworks? We admire them on the telly with the sound down.  End of.X
 
 
Now folks as for 2017 I did say to Owner, I said.  WHAT WERE YOUR HIGHLIGHTS?  so after a long pause, scratching round in her hundreds of memories she came up with (list):
 
1.  Wonka's Egyptian Tale being published (folks this was my highlight too.X) in Feburary.
 
2.  Going to New York New York, also in February.  I LOVED IT she droned to me.  Folks, it was nice and relaxing without Owner fussing around but folks, ME and Rug and Bertrude were very happy when she trots back in full of tales of the Empire State Building, and that Statue, AND that Museum AND Brooklyn Bridge.X
 
3.  finding a fab new Hairdressers called Shadow (yes really X) by complete accident after saying cherio to the longstanding one alright cancelling an appointment and just not making another one.  Sorry! X (PS Owner has just had her hair done and she looks like a film star!  X)
 
Is that it Owner? I goes being very patient and hanging on for more. IF I WERE TO SUM UP THIS YEAR she goes back to me - please do I says bearing in mind folks it was very close to our tea time...... IF ANYTHING WASN'T RIGHT - then it had to be put right.  And mostly folks it was.  There were the ageds. (TICK), there was daughter and grandson (TICK) there was Owner's little surgery thingy wotsit in Hospital (I did feel for those staff.....TICK) all sorts of things were put right and sorted out until you couldn't put a whisker of doubt on any of it!!! But wait! Owner has another good thing to add for 2017:
 
 
 
There we are!!  this sketch by my bestest Owner in the known galaxy, was turned into a print and then onto a canvas and guess what folks!! someone wanted to buy it and after a lot of scrabbling around and talking it over with Aged parent, a sum was decided on, and it was sold!! I know ! X
 
And so, at least one of the resolutions in this houseyhold, aside from doing some more of my stories (the Sea Shanty one, oh and Owner is talking of one called - 'Rugglesis Story' - naturally I wasn't keen straight off BUT being the storyteller I am, AND as long as I am in charge of the story, I might consider it folks..... but the big resolution is for Owner to have more of the Teds printed up and put out for PURRchase!! X
 
Enough about pesky new thingy wotsits for twentyeighteen folks here is my much awaited pollytical round up.  someone with the unlikely name of Lord Adonis has told Tresa Grey what to do with her game of brexit.  Of course he said it as he was leaving his job as that is when folks, you actually say what you mean (or so Owner tells me....X).  Whether this has made a tiny trickle of difference we must hold out for the good new year to find out folks.  CAN IT ALL GET ANY WORSE Wonka you all shout up eager for some hope -  well here's one thing folks, if we leave it all to Jezzer we'll be out of the EEEWE before you can all fall back to sleep on your giant nests.  As for Vinnie, he must be hanging upside down somewhere and the Greens, well enough said folks.  Where oh where is that knight in shining pollytics to sort it!! Where is our Thomas Shelby!!  anyhow, it is all a big mess and I haven't even mentioned that shadowy group Momentarily and I'm not going to.  End of.X
 
Over on the telly world Owner has been transfixed by those Pesky blinders and is in love with Tom Shelbee.  Like the rest of the nation.  My fave is Arfur.  I do love him lots.  Ruggles is all for young Michael and Bertrude does take to Adah.  There are other progs and in Corrie I am proud to announce the return of Carling Black eyebrows.  Feelan is lying low somewhere and Eileen his poor lied to wifey is being kind to Billee who has killed Peter's sister (by accident) BUT Peter has not turned to the demon drink.  No.  And Don Barlow is keeping a keen eye on the street.... in Enders Mad max tried to jump off a roof but instead Abbie and thingy did it for him.  I did hear Owner suggest it would have been better if Stacee had been up there...................X
 
 
 
 
The three of us wish you everything you wish for yourselves in the New Year! X
 


 
 
Now folks, whatever your year has been like and goodness knows it has been the same with me, you must now turn your furry heads to the future.  You must preen up, and look the BIZ, you must dust off ALL your old action plans and funny old goals and MAKE THEM HAPPEN.  ME, Rugglesis and Bertrude oh alright and Owner all wish you and yours the finest, sleekest, sassiest year evah!  Do enjoy your New Year's Eve wotsits and I will see you in twenty eighteen!  Big Love Wonka XXXXXX
 

 


Saturday 23 December 2017

Be A Star!!

Merry 23 December folks!!  here we are on the Eve of the Eve!!


 
 
Here we are!!  This is the beauty card Owner did for our first Christmas in our new home and I said to her I said WHY NOT POP IT ON AGAIN AS IT IS SO GOOD?  alright Wonka, she droned back to me, and for your delectation and delight.....XX
 
 
I do hope you have all survived (list)
 
1.. The Christmas Party at work.  Owner got all dolled up and looked the BIZ but was home within a couple of hours.  I AM TOO ANCIENT Wonka, she told me up, to go trooping round pubs in the freezing cold and being sociable.  Personally I think it was the strain of keeping up a conversation that put Owner off and I did tell her she was never one for small talk but luckily this was in a whisper from the uppermost room in the house.X
 
 
2.  Going round the shops.  Owner paid a visit in the car with no name to the Supermarket that is like a maze and even more so once they changed all the aisles because another store had moved in to cuddle up and make money out of us.  I know.  Anyhow, Owner said going round the shop was simple it was trying to drive away that took all the time up.  I did say how about walking, but again this was muttered from well behind the door in the cosy sitting room on the first floor whilst Owner was slaving away I mean putting away said shopping.
 
3.  Having enough real food in as we all know those little snacks and biscuits and chocolates ARE NOT FILLING.  Don't forget the bread and milk I shouted just as Owner sped off for the LAST SHOP.X
 
 
I will leave you to consider how on earth Tresa Grey is still clinging to Number Ten and why changing the colour of the passport should be vaguely interesting.  jezzer will be digging up the sprouts on his allotment and as for Vinnie that is anyone's guess.X
 
 
 
We have the Christmas Radio Times AND the sherry so just to wish all you folk out there a good and peaceful Christmas Day just like we will have here.  big Love and a very Merry Christmas whoever you are, whatever the colour of your FUR or the length of your whiskers!! from ME, Ruggles and Bertrude AND Owner.XX

Saturday 16 December 2017

Ho Ho Ho !!

Tis the Season to be JOLLY fahlahlahlahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  ......
Are you in a festive mood folks like me??  Do not fear Wonka is here to get you near to Christmas!  I have been very busy what with my daily Christmas Advent and such like, yes, leaping around checking on Bertrude, chasing I mean checking on Ruggles, it has been FULL ON busy in this house.  Now last week I did give you a few Christmas tips and I am pleased to say that Christmas has arrived in this house.  YES, the Christmas edition of the Radio Times has landed.
'All I need for Christmas' droned Owner to a poor colleague forced to listen to her as they were in the confined galley kitchen at work 'is the Christmas Radio Times and a large bottle of Sherry'  The poor colleague tried to tell Owner where to purchase a cheap bottle of Sherry only to be told severely 'IT MUST BE HARVEYS.' end of.X

 
There we are! A special Christmas List for a small child - little Joe who is one of the characters in #JoesChristmas - that is Joe's Mum who doesn't realise that her wish for Joe's Christmas will come true! You will have to read the story though to find out how and it is alongside all the #wonkastories on #smashwords.com by my best Owner in the entire known galaxy #MadeleineMasterson X
 
No one, Personne is ever really ready for Christmas and perhaps you think to yourselves, under all the glitter and glam, where is the real Christmas story.  DO YOU MEAN THE THREE KINGS Wonka? you all shout at me wide awake and sitting up on your good settees.  YES, DA, MAIS OUI and Dankeshen.  The shepherds up on that hill saw the star and followed it too. they all knew something special was happening and who would have thought it....the baby in the manger coming into the world to save it.  In a minute I will be singing 'little Donkey' followed by ' a long time ago, in Bethlehem.'  X

 
 
Well lookey here if it isn't me and the book you must read if you have missed it so far folks - 'Great Expectations' by Mr Charles Dickens..... we do all have great expectations at this time of year and perhaps like Pip you will follow your dream regardless.... next week I will have another Christmas read to recommend folks, and our best story, #wonkaschristmasstory does wave a small paw at it.X
 
In the merry old world of what some folks call pollytics starring Tresa Grey, as the dull and blameless leader, surrounded by scheming subjects called things like Boris and David, oh and there is small band of whispering rebels or is it revels no that is sweets, headed up by Jezzer when he is not on his allotment - well they are just busy really with a spot of negotiating here and a spot of rebelling there, enough to keep a few comics I mean tabloids busy.  There is no sign of anyone doing anything else except revving up for their Christmas parties.  End of.X
 
We have clung very nicely to Corrie, and despite being arrested and REMANDED because she is so dangerous, NOT, is Anna, well she only upped and escaped from hospital!! And, she is still on the run, AND, her good adopted daughter has realised she is telling the truth!! To round this off, Bethany has noticed that Craig is the catch of her life and is going steady.  BLISS.  in Enders the wicked family that have single handedly (phew, words.) taken over the square despite people like Fil and thingy in the queen Vic, oh yes and Shazzer and Shirl, well they got rid of MAX who is now playing the evil, stabbed in the back by just about everyone, to the hilt.  We love im and I am sure that Fil will SORT IT.  Owner has loved Strictly and voted for Joe and Katya now her fave has gone who was Davood. ME? thanks for asking, I am rooting for............. the underdog who is Gemma.  Debbie may well go on to win it as she is a fab dancer and has lots of adoring fans.  Alexandra has cried relentlessly throughout the show and will be on top form tonight!  I haven't mentioned Owner's new obsession with Thomas Shelby from Peaky Blinders and I'm not going to.X
 
Now this coming week, Owner is set to leave the good college which has sheltered her AND US from starvation.  She is still relying on some secret plan to keep us going and let us all hope it does.X (PS she has had an offer to buy one of her best sketches and this may keep the wolf from the door for a day or two........)X
 
So enjoy your little furry purry selves, finish your lists, post your cards, and open the sherry!  Big Love Wonka X
 


Saturday 9 December 2017

Wonka's Christmas Tips X

Howdy up FOLKS and a thousand sorries I am a tad late with this.
POURQUOI? or just plain WHY some of you raise your heads off the settee and ask me??? it is all Owner's fault for not helping me end of.  and I mean it.X
 
There we are!!! The first Christmassy tipperooni!!! Owner presented me and Ruggles with a mousey each and guess what? NO that is not it!! the mouses are in the very same place as when Owner unpacked them and said TADDAH!!  The same happened with my crinkly wind tunnel thing (it frightened me A LOT) and the same thing happened with my circular scratchy thing with some balls in it.  WE DID NOT PLAY WITH THEM!! so my best Christmas Tip is - stop buying all those fancy toys and just give us a cork, a cotton reel, a box (preferably from AMAZEN X)
 
 
Is Owner ready for Christmas? NYET, NON, or just plain not very.  She has been buying food for other people, she has written a list with one word on it folks and that is HARVEYs.  if there is no sherry in the house on Christmas Eve I am packing up and leaving on the next reindeer folks..............X
 
 
In other Christmas Tip news we wait nervously for the Christmas Radio Times, without which (like the Sherry) Christmas cannot be ok.  We HOPE for some good progs folks but tell you to buy it anyway as you can read it whilst NOT watching what is NOT on the tv.
 
 
Now this week, due to being later than late, I am cutting this good blog short.  There will be NO POLLYTICs (YIPPEE) and it is safe to say for my third Christmas Tip I tell you to avoid any mention of brexit for breakfast, lunch ,tea or suppee.  Bertrude know very well how to do this and will never JAMAIS support it, on toast or not.X
 
 
My final tiperooni is to READ MY Christmas Story!!  lo and behold did Owner receive out of the blue, a note from Henry.  WHO, you all shout up excited, is he?? HE, he tells us up is Owner's new marketing thingy.  and HE has replaced Casey.  (no need to ask who they are, they have left.  They did nothing DE RIEN for Owner and they are probably doing nothing wherever they are now.)  BUT Henry, he says he will do all he can to advertise our story!! We love him.  And here is said story.....x
 

 
 
There it is!! You can read it still for free (but without all those fab illustrations from Owner, on smashwords.com OR you could visit the shop in the sky Amazon, or just look for it in any good bookshop.  it is still one of my favourite stories folks and Owner is even now tweeting it on Twitter!! X
 
 
So folks I leave you with my best tip of all, and that is to keep enjoying yourselves whether it is reading, writing, drawing, BE CREATIVE and it will make you happi.  and I must rush as I need to check on Ruggles who keeps pinching the best hot spot by the rad!! Then I may pop up another level and check the level of biscuits in Bertrude's trough!!X
 
 
We are glued to Satdee night telly and thanks to the relentless love in for one of the Strictly Dahncers we are afraid to declare our love for any other of the rest!!  BUT we will and it is all of them as our fave has gone.........Davood we loved you and Nadiya we did!!X
 
 
Next week now take it steady, no bibbing your horns for no good reason (I did tell Owner off about this, in a whisper, from my best hidey...she assured me that she will never do it again at least til tomorrow....X) and keep warm!  Big Love Wonka X

Saturday 2 December 2017

A Royal engagement !

Owner rushed homeo alright chugged homeo more like last Mundee full of this news. At Last Wonka! she said all excited, 'Prince Harry is engaged....' of course I did take interest folks as it was cuddling right up to my teatime, so I said all the right things like:
1. Is it to that nice film star Meghan (tick)
2. will Harry be able to go on and live happily ever after as his Mum surely will be wishing from her heavenly sphere (tick)
3. Will there be a good run up to the wedding which is in springtime with lots of lovely photees and such (HUGE tick)

According to the papers so far, there will not be a bank holidee and all were hoping for this.  End of.X
 
 
There we are!! this is Owner's first big tribute to the happi couple who will tie the knot in St George's good chapel AND some ordinary folk will get to share in their big day.  Will you apply for a Golden Ticket Owner?  I asked up.. YES I WILL she droned to me, IT IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING. X
 
This big news rather overshadowed (good use of word) all else in our tiny week in our miniscule world. Has Owner's hair stayed right Wonka you all wonder up, concerned suddenly with this.....NON, NYET, and just plain NO.  Alongside all her other frets and worries, her hair has refused to sit right and this alone has caused probs and a huge drop in her mood setting.  She is even now going to trot to the good hairdressers and plead for a trim.  YES I keep telling Owner how lovely she looks especially in the run up to breakfast, mid morning snack, lunch, dinner, tea and suppertime and any extras we can fit in. X
 
I am now whispering the next bit folks as it is serious news that could end up with this household starving and such like.  IS SHE STILL LEAVING HER JOB Wonka?  YES folks she is stuck to her decision like glue saying things like, all will be well (?) and IT IS TIME.  I know.X
 
In the wild and bizarre world of pollytics or what passes for that, Donwald the trump became even more infant like posting things on twitter that a three year old might consider DE TROP. (excellent turn of phrase.X) Tresa May roused from her terminal downhill slide to respond with such force it could have made a cobweb tremble.  jezzer whispered something from his allotment, Vinnie said nowt and in effect folks, it was left to the likes of common garden citizens to take affront.  I mean.X
 
Owner has fallen in love - NO they are not real, it is Tom Shelby in Peaky Blinders.  We sat and watched the entire first series and we gobbled it up it was so nice tasting.  There is talk of us doing the same with Series Two tomorrow and Owner even rescinded (OOH) her membership with Netflix so we can continue on....... elsewhere, Enders has been taken over by Mad Max and his horrid new friends.  Ben is battered and left to rot in his own garage (what will Fil do??) and the Queen Vic has a new and gruesome owner.  At least Staycee was not involved.  In Corrie the dark strands continue and are only made lighter by Gemma falling in love and ditto with Henry from the Brewery.  This is such a huge achievement, Owner's mood setting did alter slightly.  There is Strictly booboos tonight and our hopes ride on Davood and Nadiya AND Mollie and AJ we love them to shreds.  YES it is the Hex Factor final which has rushed up on us and surely Raksu will Win it.
 
There we are!! One of Owner's best cartoons to celebrate the gorgeous dreamy waltz. X
 
We are smackerooni on with a full Moon folks so do go steady on the howling AND Mercury is to go retrograde which means that whatever was in a muddle and going slowly in the first place will now go even slower.  if you are in the middle of a spat or a row or something very like that expect it to linger like a cold.  I know.X
 
ME, thanks for asking, and Ruggles and Bertrude are all faring well and looking forward to the season of goodwill and plenty.  We love everything and everyone and that's that.  DO enjoy the coming week and any of those little XMAS bazarres and such like. Keep Warm and Purry!  big Love Wonka  X