Monday, 27 June 2016

Wonka's Article 50!

GOOD NEWS FOLKS!!!! (sounds of a klaxon in the distance coupled with birdsong because I love that sound and maybe a seagull or too PLUS some European noises and birds too.X)

Due to this shadowy and blustery time when NO ONE or PERSONNE is owning up to knowing what to do, I am invoking my own personal Article 50.  Owner says that is fine as any plan or article is better than none.  or DE RIEN.X

Bertie Bubb who is quietly furious at not belonging to anything anymore is up for it, and Ruggles says it is fine by him (I thought he said that as he wandered off to the shed.)x
There we are!! With all our plans!!  and if we can have a plan so can this pesky leaving Government!!! furthermore once I have invoked or whatyoumecallit this article I do want to sit round the table or at least on a chair up to it when they all start droning on about the mvubiksyf8164958 's of legislation to unravel and redo!!
I want to say I TOLD YOU SO to all those cats who voted to have this sorry mess and I'm going to!!! As you know folks, ME, Bertie bubb and Ruggles were dead against it.  Our new fave is #AnnaSoubry she bats for the wrong side BUT she was a stayer inner!!! and, she says what she means - we love her in this house. We don't like Nige Barage, or billy boy boris OR the other one. there I have nailed our colours to the mast!!!X
I know I said this would be a Wonka Weekly and it still is EXCEPT when we have silly results and such like from what might or might not, our government.X  big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 25 June 2016

That was the Week!

PLEASE DON'T LET US have another week like that one, droned Owner to me.  And folks.  D'ACCORD!!!

Horrid referendums, horrid proof reading mistakes, horrid tax codes, horrid complaints responded to with more lies etc.... IS THERE ANY GOOD NEWS WONKA??? you all whisper up nervously.   Owner did what she always does in a crisis and rushed to the good supermarket to get a new hair product.  And slapped it on as soon as.  NOW SHE IS A DAZZLING GINGER!! well alright a honey blonde it says on the packet.  What do you think Wonka she asks me hours later when she has 1) left it on longer than it says on the leaflet 2) cleaned the whole bathroom and flooded it too and used every towel she could find whilst blinded with soap in her eyes 3) left the conditioner on for at least half an hour. (it has done the usual and published this early doors - hold on folks for more)...
YES I says up to Owner it being smack on tea time - YOU LOOK THE BIZ.X

There we are!! WHY are we looking at a very grumpy Bertie?? because folks, he was a #catsagainstbrexit !! and sums up how ME and Ruggles feel about it all. WE don't like nige Barage, we think silly blondy boris is silly and we won't even mention Michael nove or gove thingy. There are a few others dangling about to NOT mention too.  Owner hasn't got over it and handed in her notice to the agency as well.  So she looks like Bertie Bubb too. X
Will things every settle down Wonka?? NO.  The credit card is poised for a hammering and Owner suggests moving to either Sconny botland where they all seem to have more sense and wits OR Northern Ireland ditto, OR the Republic of Ireland as she is mad enough to fit in nicely (only joking Owner!) OR any other civilised nation.  We are taking offers.X
In other news the telly has nearly settled back down and we are loving Versailles and Louis.  he is busy building his palace despite setbacks and not from the builders either. The soaps have kept Owner's mind off it a tad, and NO ONE has yet been arrested for clubbing Callum to death.  Not even the wrong man or woman.  Kirkie has moved in with Norris and has defeated him at draughts.  We love it.
We are hoping against hope for a kinder, richer, luckier, happier, and furry week chaps.  Ruggles has been an angel mostly and that Yogi has been round and pinched his fodder.  Bertie has settled in different spots in the living room and may one day realise he is not a prisoner.  At least he is a happy one eh? EH? ME? thanks for asking, I have my work cut out with Owner's nerves all shot to pieces, and her mood setting dangerously low BUT I continue to fling coins in the wishing
Live it up folks, and be purry to each other.  Big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 23 June 2016

Extra Special!!

it is a glorious day for a ................

As you know I advise on everything including how poverty stricken we are and how we must still buy my best biscuits. And folks, voting is right up my street!!  This is how we shake down in our house..........
Even the newest visitor to our outback, a blackbird, is keen to REMAIN!!!!!
Big Love Wonka X
#catsagainstbrexit xxx
and #mouseyagainstbrexit too. x

Monday, 20 June 2016

Strawberrry Moon!

YES folks it is the Summer Solstice and some good people will be camping out at good Stonehenge to witness it all as it happens!!

The longest day folks and there is talk of a special moon that has not happened since..............wait for it...........roll on those drums!!!
the Summer of Lerve!!! at Woodstock folks back in 1967.  all loved each other and gave out flowers AND enjoyed their music.  End of and Moony facts up!!X

There we are!! Owner thought this would be the best little cartoon to mark the 1000th post!!! We have loved it and you for joining us every day.  or whenever you did. X
And also to mark the occasion I bring news of the Car with No Name.  Owner reports a safe journey going to visit daughter and grandson only slightly marred by........other drivers? NO, Owner swearing at other drivers? NO, Owner driving in a reckless careless manner? NO that was everyone else.  The thing is, when Owner is inside the car with no name she gets rained on just like she would if she was outside it.  HOWCOMES Wonka you all smile up at me and say?  it is all thanks to a leaking sunroof which cannot contain water AND hardly ever copes with the sun.  End of and driving facts up.X
There is lots of EEWE news on practically every channel and we are warned about this and that and more about the other until we are dizzy.  Luckily there is a new thingywotsit trending on Twitter and it is #catsagainstbrexit I KNOW!!! X
Please do look in at the weekend when my new WEEKLY WONKA will be running. AND, when there is a special piece of news to report up like Owner has published her next story I shall run a special Breaking Mews!!!! and please don't fear for Bertie bubb or Ruggles as I am looking after them 24/7.  I know.X
Thanks folks for attending our 1000th issue!! Big Love Wonka X
PS and COME ON Ingerland!!! and COME ON Welshy Wales! X

Sunday, 19 June 2016

The three of us...

TODAY FOLKS is the last but one daily as you know it.  I have been proud to report up to you day in day out all about ME and alright Owner too.  And the Bubster and Rugglestop.

You have had weather reports (it is currently raining.x) hair reports (has let it be...x) and zero hours reports (nobody wants Owner to work for them.  She is on denial setting.x) also I have tried to keep up with a thousand different languages. DA! x

There we are!! That is ME on the right, and Rug at the back and for some reason The Bubster aka Bertie is in front.  I ask you. X
The other thing I have tried to keep you posted on is Owner's complaints.  YES they are too numerous to report every single one but I have made a big effort to report on the more juicy ones. The thing is folks, Owner is a peaceful loving person left to her own devices it's just the others.X
Today mostly was wasted while Owner tried to cancel an automatic subscription which isn't easy when you do have 1.  the right email and 2.  The right password.  If you are lucky enough to have these (you guessed it Owner had neither.x) and then get through the maze of menus to find the one that sets you free THEN YOU DESERVE TO HAVE THE SAFEST system in the world PLUS (says Owner who is spluttering a bit now) if it is so hard to end it and cancel it how can anyone else find it out?? eh? EH?? I have suggested a nice bout of yoga and maybe a choc lime.  I know.X
There will be a post tmro folks it being a Mundee and a brand new week ahead - so fluff that fur up and whisker up!! big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 18 June 2016

Cat Napping....x

HAVE YOU DECIDED Wonka? you all whisper up it being a Satdee morning and all.  I have spent a miniscule amount of time wondering up what to do folks.  Owner thinks we should run with:

WONKA's WEEKLY.  I rather like the sound of it, and let's face it folks, if Women can have a Woman's Weekly then why not ME? eh? EH??

It could do a good round up of how starving we are week to week and also update all on Owner's mood setting, political preference (phew) and hair.  I KNOW, the hair is the most important and what will capture everyone's interest around the globe. I AM JUST LEAVING IT TODAY Wonka she droned up to me and we all know that is famous last words especially with wall to wall sport on every night. TIME for Owner to play around with hair product folks. end of and new diary taking shape fact up.X
There we are!! HOW WILL YOU EVER GET RICH Wonka!! Sleeping away the day!! but folks, as all clever people know, that is where all the best ideas come floating down from.............X
Tonight I have warned Owner to look for a good film or series or anything that is on the IPLAYER. Unless you want to watch Portugal v Austria (good luck and sorry!X) OR a film from 1996. you are snookered Owner I said.  She has already selected something pretty grim and is looking forward.  I know.X
Do enjoy your Satdee folks and take no notice of any horrid news there is too much of it.  Instead, go out, and I will allow you (and Owner) to buy a small non essential but go steady on the yumyums.  They come in packs of four. You can imagine the rest of that story folks! Big YUM Love Wonka X

Friday, 17 June 2016

Mousey Mousey

Owner says we are nearly up to 1000 diary entries and we should be proud....personally, I think ME and Owner have done a grand job keeping a few folk informed (TICK) amused (EXTRA TICK) and interested (Essential TICK).

WILL YOU STOP AT 1000 Wonka? you all shout at me a bit nervous at the prospect of never knowing (list)

1.  What mood setting Owner is up to.
2.  How poverty stricken we are.
3. Whether Bertie Bubb has actually lost any weight.
4.  Will Ruggles ever stop going in the luxury shed.
5.  Will Owner's hair ever in its lifetime, go right.

And finally, not to forget Mousey. X
There we are! my beloved Mousey who is famous just for being my fave.X
In other lesser news, Owner has sorted out her second pressing complaint of the month without any bloodshed. I know.X
There is DE RIEN on except for Enders and Bobby has gone down! on a concurrent sentence no less.  DOES THAT MEAN THE DIFFERENT SENTENCES OF THREE YEARS AND ONE YEAR RUN side by side or one after another Owner?? they run together she droned to me, also telling me (I didn't ask for this folks........zzzzzzzzzzzzz OH!) that if they run one after the other it is consecutive.  End of and prison sentence fact up.X
it continues to be cold, dull, windy, drizzling and/or raining which can only mean we are in the midst of Summer and approaching the longest day OR the summer solstice, OR Wimbledon..  I mean.  Do enjoy your eve folks whatever you do and whoever you with.  Purr up and Fur UP big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Big Love

Just a short and sweet little diary today folks...there was some good news on the footie front as Ingerland actually scored two goals!
And good Wales scored one.  We love both sides and not to forget how the Welsh sung their hearts out in ZULU which is Owner's top fave film of all time.  End of.X

There we are!! this little sketch of flowers by Owner is dedicated to a rather special person who we had not heard of, until now. Jo Cox
It turns out she was a special person, a MP for Labour in West Yorkshire called Jo Cox.  She has been described as a rising star and now, because someone murdered her, she is indeed in heaven. Her husband said she lived life to the full and we thank her for all she did and especially her work in parliament and to represent the people.  Owner has helped me say all of that as you will know, but the other things he said were about their children, precious and to be loved, and that all must unite against this kind of poisonous hatred. x
From ME, Bertie Bubb, Ruggles oh and Owner - Big big Love X

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Owner gets told off!!

I KNOW! Who? I says to her as she crawled back in, would be silly enough to have a word about?........I left the question dangling in that new and trebly annoying way.............

ABOUT SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO Wonka.  she says straight back and I can tell that unless she has a SUPER Yoga sesh, her mood setting will crumble.  Since being very tiny alright a long time ago alright then as she is still very tiny WHEN SHE WAS A CHILD, Owner reports having a strong sense of justice. AND not being able to calibrate (I am using that word like it or lump it.X) injustice. (Blimey I need a lie down now.X) In a very small voice verging on a whisper I asked Owner if she was rude - and made ready to dart upstairs to the lair under the nest I mean bed...
I FOUGHT HARD NOT TO BE she mumbled and is ashamed (she says she is) that she might have seemed sarcastic.  Personally, and taking into account that Owner works hard all day long, is kind, helpful and loving I AM LETTING HER OFF!! big love and everything.X

There we are! It has turned into a IN DA BOX day!! soon be over!!X
It doesn't help us that we have had another mizzle drizzle mist ridden day folks. NOR does it help us to have millions of football on the good tv with not a good film in sight. HAVE YOU A DVD Wonka you all shout at me in sympathy.  Owner reports having one 'put by'.  It is called 'YOUTH' (TICK) has Michael Caine in it (Massive Tick) and is described as 'Hilarious' (I know.x)....x
After I have sent Owner off to do her yoga sesh and had her tea things might realign folks eh.  I haven't said tomro is another day Owner and I'm not going to. In other news Ruggles is basking on the side with a bird's eye view of the outback and Bertie has sneaked up onto my side (board) and pinched some of my tea time.  AT LEAST HE IS BEING ACTIVE Wonka, said Owner in his defence.  I mean.  Do go on to enjoy your eves and BON CHANCE to Frenchy France v Albania and Romania v Switzerland OI OI OI!!!  big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Bertie Bubb

WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT the Bubster you all moan to me..............and I say back in my best frenchy French:
POURQUOI PAS!! which is supposed to mean WHY NOT and if it isn't I can't help it, Owner said it was right.

This is the Bubster in his igloo with just his head poking out so he looks like a snail OR I says up to Owner, like a tortoise or a turtle.  I PREFER SNAIL she droned back to me.  End of and igloo facts up.X
There we are!  Can you see his little head poking out? eh? EH?? and that funny thing dangling on the door handle is Owner's Bagpuss rucksack.  I know. X
Owner says she is sick and tired of switching channels to avoid yet another REFERENDUM broadcast by whichever party. BUT she is especially fed up with Boris.  His name, the way he talks, what he looks like and anything else you can reckon on. ME? thanks for asking, I'd like him a lot more if he was straight talking and to the point.  I get in quite a muddle when he goes on about how many more biscuits I can have IF we leave and how my amazen box COULD be at risk if we stay.  I mean.X
Tonight we are in luck.  WHY WONKA? you all wonder up in amazement.  The yoga continues to work its magic on Owner yes alright she is still plying her hair with product and saying things like what colour is that and it always defaults to this, BUT mostly she is calm about it.  She is even calm about not having hardly any zero hours or money - I did say to her Owner do you realise we are hurtling fast towards debt and poverty strickeness(is that a word Wonka you all say but I'm having it as a word. end of.x)  but she just got on with drying her hair and may not have heard me.X
Corrie on for an hour folks!! And we are going to be brave and start the Soap ridden evening with Enders.  it promised Bobby up at court for his next bail ridden hearing or something.  we love it.X
Enjoy your eve folks and if it is your side playing in the wall to wall footie then GOOD LUCK! Big Love Wonka X

Monday, 13 June 2016

Apples alert!

Our new Apple tree has not only given up the best blossom I know BUT Owner spied three yes THREE tiny apples growing on it.

IT IS AN APPLE TREE Owner, I says up, so what did you expect.  I expected DE RIEN, ZILCH, NIMIC Wonka, she says back.  Talk about low expectations folks!!

by the same token folks, perhaps the Cherry Tree will cough some cherries up!  Life is a bowl of and so on.............
There we are!! It gave us some beaut blossom and now those eensy weensy apples.  JE T'ADORE!! giant X
In other news Owner says it is a wicked world but surely there are good things in it.  Every cloud Wonka, she droned to me.  Personally if I see a dark cloud all I reckon happening is rain and possible a thunderstorm EVEN lightening folks but Owner insists there will be a silver lining.  Like our fave song to keep on keepin on 'SHOW ME MY SILVER LINING' first aid kit. we love it! X
Now there is more footie and it is IRL (Ireland folks) V SWE (Sweden) and who is the usual score and the one we are accustomed to seeing in tiny miniscule writing at the bottom of the screen folks that is NIL NIL.  May the best side win.  I know.X
Last but not least Owner had a pleasant call with the HMRC.  That is our tax people folks, and she was smiling ALL THROUGH the call.  I put this new calm and collected attitude down to the continued YOGA folk and cannot talk it up enough. She has half a day's work to look forward to and it should stretch to a packet of biscuits for ME, Bertie and Rug and maybe some egg and chips for Owner.  Thankfully Corrie is still on despite the wall to wall EURO which has vanquished (GET IN!x) Enders.  We are not sorry not a jot.  Do enjoy your footie or footie free eve folks and let us all have a terrific Tuesdee!! Big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 12 June 2016

Let It Go!!

Was it a balloon Wonka? you all wonder up and now Owner declares she dreamt of a balloon and is that a good omen or what....IT HAD BETTER be eh? EH? No, I am merely repeating the good song from that epic film FROZEN.

WHY Wonka? you all mumble to me half asleep and heads full of football information and wotnot.  And me and Owner can relate to that.  She insisted on watching TITANIC but flicking back and forth to check the score.  it was NIL NIL for what seemed like hours then ONE NIL and then blow me down the stairs and back up then again ONE ALL.  Which is all the more reason to LET IT GO LET IT GO!!! and do this on a special frozen bath sheet whilst doing your twenty minute sesh on Yoga.  End of.X
There we are!! an ariel view of Owner in the very first position of her Yoga sesh.  The corpse!  I know!! the two girls are at the top of the towel that's her and her and the snowman thingy person is at the bottom.  Keep up the breathing Owner I say to her in encouragement and It's nearly tea time!!X
Last night we did manage some Casualtee and guess what? NO that is not it - Big Mac or cheeseburger or the special one with fries,decided to OWN up and tell the truth thereby setting Charlie Farley free from suspension.Yes! oh and resign along with all of that.  Tonight there is more football with Northern Ireland playing Poland.  have they scored Wonka you all shout at me to know? It is NIL NIL folks.  A timely reminded that in football not a lot happens until 1. injury time 2. those funny penalty shoot out things and 3. Free balls.  I have to apologise now for my limited football knowledge and Owner could write hers on a special royal family issue stamp.  I know.X
It is a new week ahead and I am hoping that Owner has a few zero hours or we will starve as usual.  IF she continues to practise breathing, at least the mood setting will steady up.  All to play for folks! Big Love Wonka X  PS Bertie is still fine and fat and in his igloo and Ruggles has a small clump of knotted fur that Owner keeps tweaking with the risk of a small nip when he gets fed up with it.X

Saturday, 11 June 2016

Back to the Start!

Welcome folks and anyone who isn't watching wall to wall EURO footie OR trooping a colour OR having a birthdee celebration like our MAJ - could do worse than watch Titanic for the g8htskjfj th time.  Owner has it on now!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU SEEN IT Owner I said up, once I noticed it was on and thingy was getting rescued by JACK.  Millions, she droned back.  AND it is Rose NOT thingy.  End of and iceberg warning ahoy!!x

We are now back to the start with our journey through all the Wonka stories.  Stories with plots, without plots, stories for Halloween, for Christmas and Easter - there is a Wonka Story for every occasion folks.  And the very latest one, the one before our next published one, is Duffel and The Inheritance!
There we are!  The third in the #duffel series and this time set in Paris! MAIS OUI!! X
There is nothing else DE RIEN to report today folks except that the Yoga is paying off and Owner hasn't shouted once OR said anything to the car in front or behind she has been kindness itself all day long.  ME? thanks for asking, well I did have a miniscule spat with Bertie in the night but came out of it alright....just a little telling off by a grumpy Owner, I mean!! Rugglesis friend Harry keeps calling at the gate and waving up at me too - I am glaring I mean staring out back from my fave window ever watchful in case a parcel load of Vikings turn up.  So far it is just Harry and that misfit Yogi who pinches Rugglesis teatime.  I know.X
I have reminded Owner that Casualtee is still on whatever the weather and blow the time!Do enjoy your evening folks whatever you are going to do with it, have a good stretch and relax those whiskers! Big Love Wonka X

Friday, 10 June 2016

Her Maj!

BLOW ME DOWN there are more celebrations to be had.  Owner checked the news and reports a WEEKEND to cheer HER MAJ on.  AND it is Philly's birthdee.  A mere 95 folks!!

This almost makes up for all that FOOTIE says Owner.  it is all to kick off in gay Paree starting with Frenchy France V Roman Romania.  I know.  Owner says she asked the advice of one of the fellow invigilators as to what could possibly entice her to watch any of it. DON'T WATCH IT! says one of them.  GO OUT! said another. finally, one of the more serious footie fans predicts England will score against good Russia....... I mean.X

There we are! Her Maj with her Dad, King George VI as a little princess.  She could not have known then, droned Owner to me, how long she would reign as Queen.  There is to be a royal picnic in the Mall and thousands will be there.  Her Maj at 90!!We love it.X
In other lesser news, Owner has taken up Yoga.  I am fully supporting it because:  Owner lays on the ground and I can settle nearby too (despite her saying things like GET OFF Wonka! and YOU CAN'T LAY THERE!x), it will calm her down to a decent mood setting of say around 7 - 8.  it means no more DE RIEN shouting at Enders even though Staycee hasn't been in for yonks. and finally, she may even benefit healthwise.  End of and Yoga facts up.X
Ruggles has been out in the shed and Bertie bubb has mostly been in his igloo. Owner told him he looked like a snail with his head sticking out.  Bertie took no notice and neither did I.  Tonight beyond the start of the EURO there are a few programmes to cling to and YES Enders is one of them.  I am praying the scriptwriters step it up beyond babies, blackmail and anything or anyone to do with roxy and foxy.  Do enjoy your eves and may the best team win!! MAIS OUI and DAR DA!! big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 9 June 2016

June is busting out!

HALLOA UP Folks out there all saying has Wonka gone funny? June is busting out all over, is, says Owner a fab song straight from her fave musical called CAROUSEL.  Shirley Jones and thingy. Gordon thingy.  MacRae!! and if you haven't seen it, you are in for a treat shouts Owner getting very excited by the prospect.

WHY IS OWNER SO HAPPY? you all now wonder up in astonishment.  It is all because something she has been on at least 9 and a half on the mood setting with worriment at sky high levels, has NEARLY sorted out. I CAN SLEEP NOW she droned to me....personally, once my head hits the luxury carpet folks I am dead to the world and I did think Owner was in the same boat...X

There we are!!! this is the last Conversations part six for you!!  Remember folks, no PLOT but can I tell you something?  it is a hanky ridden tale........... so yes, this time there is a bit of a story and it is all about Tinkers and the Boolleys.  ~ Owner fell in love you see, and ME?  you will have to read it to find out.X
In other lesser news, Owner is still on with the hair product.  It means all our hard earned money alright all Owner's hard earned cash is just poured down the sink folks.  I have tried to tell her how LOVELY it looks but she will not listen.  HOW LOVELY YOU LOOK Owner I said the second she fell in from the latest invigilating.  THANKS Wonka she said, and then rushed to the bathroom to plonk more stuff on her head.  what if someone were to knock on the door Owner, I says up through the good kitchen door.  What if someone were to shout from the back gate?  Then what?  But she didn't hear me above running the tap.  End of and hair product facts up.X
Tonight all we can cling to is Enders.  I know.  Max is still languishing in prison for a murder that Bobby did OR he is enjoying an extended break. then there is SOS builders and Owner says we will have to be hard up to watch it.  Case closed folks!! do enjoy your eves and remember to count your lucky stars, pray to whoever you pray to and fling another piece of silver in the wishing well THEN your dreams will come true.X  Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Best Friends Day!

NOW WHAT ARE you going on about Wonka you all MES AMIS MES AMIGO MEIN FREUNDE and amici....................need a lie down now NO IT IS FINE!!!!according to our best knowledge which you know folks is considerable, it is national best friends day and Owner has insisted YES on celebrating it.

I did say how will you celebrate it Owner when you have fallen out with every best friend you ever had but luckily she didn't hear me above droning on about SAM and DIVA dogs.  You know who they are because they are brought out of her dreams and into our stories folks..........Sam joins Duffel, and Diva has a story ALL TO HERSELF.  And seeing as how we are on with the Diva stories right now, here she is, the real angel dog that she was:
This is an old sketch (a bit like Owner! Only joking!!!X) from 2003 folks when Diva was a snippet of a puppet.  And goodness knows how she stayed still long enough for Owner to sketch her, because she was always on the move!  But in honour of best pals day, she is up there with the best..and so is beloved Sammy Dog too.X
ME?? thanks for asking, it goes without saying that I am, yes me, NUMERO UNO on Owner's best pal in the shape of a feline AT THE MO.  followed by Bertie bubb and Rugglestop.X
When it comes to humans, like I say the list has dwindled as NO ONE, or Personne, comes up to Owner's exacting standards.End of and best pal fact up.X
Tonight we are clutching onto Corrie before all that footie sees it off.  Will Todd's story of Tony the Murderer of the Street (that is Jason's Dad.  The one who died. Who Liz had a fling with.  No one had a grudge against him really.x) stand up?  or will Sarah save the day..............we absolutely love it and I am telling you folks Enders has taken a nose dive since bobby disappeared on remand.  I know.  Owner said she has tried that new Versailles on Beeb Two and reports thus:  there is too much random sex (?) random torture and death not to mention silly liaisons. I did say is that random liaisons but she was too busy going on about grand palaces and more money than sense and how mad Louis XIV was.  Sounded rather good to me but what do I know??X
Have a wonderful eve with your best pal whoever that is folks, and tomorrow can take care of itself.  Big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Diva woofs it up!

Howdy up folks and it has been the hottest day so far in our little ol summertime.  Owner went out back and said I AM TOO HOT Wonka.  Even Ruggles went under the bench.  Me? thanks for asking, resting up nicely on my giant nest upstairs.  Bertie bubb? snug as a bug in his best igloo.  End of and hot facts up!!

There we are!! without further ado or any wooftering or that it is Diva!!  and there she is with her good fairy (by her ear) and her bad fairy (by her tail) - she is doubly famous because of course she was a real dog too!!  The Story is set in Glasgow and features Em (Diva's Owner) Mother (Em's Ma.x) Kimmy dog (Ma's best dog) and a few others............ YES there is a plot and YES it is a story in three wonderful parts...............we love it and hope you will too.X
In other less exciting news so why am I even mentioning it you question me up? ( I blame it on the heat folks.x) Owner raised herself up this good morn and heaved off out to invigilate for GCSE English.  HAS SHE COMPLAINED TO ANYONE today Wonka? you all burst out and say! not to my knowledge folks AND she says she hasn't said anything she shouldn't to the driver in front, behind, or cutting her up somehow.  WELL DONE Owner I says full of compliments it being a whisker away from my afternoon snack.X
Now tomorrow is all to play for and if Owner can stay steady and not rock any boats we'll be laughing.  I know.  We just have to get through a night of Enders and foxy and Roxy and that other one whatshername are dominating the storyline and that just makes Owner shout.  In Holbee Citee one of the irritating doctors is dying of cancer or something close to it and Owner is not sad she doesn't even warm to his partner in it.  BUT to lift her spirits right up to around 8 or 9 on the mood setting is IN DA CLUB.  I know.  it is a gift folks a gift. X
Now If you can vote IN or OUT or shake it all about in the EE EWE ref, you have to be registered OR you can't cast your spell I mean vote.  Owner reports two old fogeys behind her in the queue in the post office discussing it.  Were they in or out Owner I says out of interest it being nearish to tea time by then.  THEY WEREN'T VOTING because they couldn't decide Wonka but kept on about leaving. Thankfully, Owner didn't turn round and interfere, tell them how to vote, shout at them, accuse them of being too stupid to vote anyway..... GIANT TICK.  now do on to have a fret free eve folks, and a beauty day tmorro.  big Love Wonka X

Monday, 6 June 2016

Beloved Wonka!

Just sometimes folks it is important to BLOW YOUR OWN TRUMPET!! What you all shout up at me, do you mean like Mohammed Ali Wonka??

YES SIREE!!  He wasn't afraid to talk himself up and neither should you!!

Owner says she must take a leaf out of his book too and stop being afraid.  AFRAID OF WHAT? you all wonder up.

EVERYTHING! or TOUT or ALLES.  mais oui and finit fact up!!X
There we are!! It is another of our fave conversations and remember folks, if you are looking for a plot ridden story YOU WILL NOT FIND IT!!! but Owner says, this is one of her faves and she has even laughed through it and re read it herself.  I ask you!!  herewith and how's your father is the good link:

WHAT ELSE can you tell us Wonka? you all whisper up it being Mundee.  There was de rien to watch last night and Owner ended up on countryfile and watching Dave the current PM cuddling a lamb, followed by Boris who is nobody (as yet.  I know.X) cuddling up to a range rover.  This sort of put a wet blanket on the eve plus she was determined to fret and worry over things that hadn't happened yet.  IF ONLY I HAD A PEPPERMINT aero she moaned to me later on.X

The good news is, today she has got one.  I have been told off for looking at Bertie and he seems as innocent as the day is long.  Ruggles is keeping a lookout for Yogi who is so sneaky he will call in when we are looking the other way.  Tonight we have the wrap around soaps and Todd is stepping up to be quite the detective AND counsellor in Corrie.  In Enders no one is stepping up to be anything but annoying and Owner is bemoaning the fact that Bobby the child hockey stick clubber over the head, is on remand.  He is missed.  Do enjoy your worry free evenings folks wherever you are spending them and try not to look too far ahead - ME? only looking as far as the back yard folks.  Big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 5 June 2016

On with the show!

Good Morn folks and Howdy up!!  the sun is shining, it is Sundee and what more could we want for??? eh? EH?!


1.  Owner's latest complaint to hit the spot.

2.  Murraymint to win the French open and beat that unstoppable racquet smashing Djokovic!!

3.  Owner to get lots of paid work that she can cope with (I know this is a BIG ASK.  plus I know that is an outworn saying and no one PERSONNE says it anymore except me.x)

4. Owner's hair to keep going right despite her constant fooling around with it. (also a big mountain to climb. x)

5.  Me, ME bertie bubb and Ruggles all suddenly and out of the blue make friends with each other.  (NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. end of.X)

here with follows the next exciting Wonka Story which is this one!
There we are!!  it is the next Duffel story set by the seaside and with out beloved Futurist Theatre in it.  OH and a cat called Sheba waiting to be taken back to her Owner. and without further ado herewith is the good link.
Do enjoy it folks, as much as we did writing it OH and I let Owner pop a few of her little sketches in.  I know.X
Last night we clung to Casualtee and Charlie Nursey has taken the rap for big Mac and we have never liked him.   Even Connie had to say OUT of here to her best nursey Charlie and she has turned against the new one - they are all giving her the cold shoulder and Owner said it would be helpful at this point Wonka if we could recall the new doctor's name but we cannot for the life of us!  We also clung onto INITTOWINIT with good Dale Winton or something strangely like that.  We love Dale and will not hear one word against him.X
Today I am hoping for a pleasant relaxed and sun filled time of it with perhaps a little checking on Bubb.  Owner has declared she must rush to the shops and I am still waiting for this to happen.  there is talk of a big football thingy wotsit a Euro 16 and I can only pray it is not starting tonight and that may spoil Owner's mood setting.  Do go on to have a perfect Sundee folks and don't let the thought of Mundee take the edge off!! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 4 June 2016

Dedicated to the Champ!

WE ARE SUSPENDING normal business due to the death of a
True Champion of boxing, of civil rights and of his own rather wonderful values - that he valued life and refused to take it - Owner says he was remarkable and unstoppable and he used to just bounce and talk poetry.  He was of course MUHAMMED ALI who said
'I am the Greatest!' and folks, I guess he was. Herewith Owner's humble tribute to the man he was.
There we are! Like a butterfly he has floated on home but his legacy will live on and We Love You!X
Has this dominated the day Wonka? you all say shaking your heads in wonder up............NOT QUITE.  Owner suddenly woke up out of her low mood setting trance and sprang into action dashing off not ONE complaint but TWO.  IS SHE ALRight? you all shout up concerned that she has swung off the scale completely.  I tell you folks, when Owner gets it right she gets it right!  HOW DOES SHE KNOW Wonka? you all hang off the edge of your giant nests to know.  IT MAKES HER FEEL GOOD.  That folks is how you know anything has gone right.  it is like an inner balance levelling up inside me Owner did drone to me later on when she fell back in with a fresh cream apple turnover.  I know.X
Tonight we can cuddle up to Casualtee AND a new series that Owner fell upon on good BBC Four called disappearance with FRENCH subtitles. MAIS OUI. and folks, we cannot get enough of all the tributes that are pouring in for ALI - he can handcuff lightening and drown a drink of water!!! He still has the power folks.  Big Love Wonka X

Friday, 3 June 2016

Wonka's No 15!

Has it been a funny week or what folks??  Owner is still in the clutches of wrongdoings and there is NO shifting her from this mood setting. WOE IS ME should be written on her forehead right now folks............... I even sent her down to the sea front for a good whiff of sea air! And thanks to us being on the East Coast, it was a good strong wind down there!!! When she fell back in, smack on my tea time, she reported thus: I NEVER WANT ANOTHER WEEK LIKE THIS ONE Wonka - and folks....neither do I!!X

There we are!! Now here is a little something to cheer us all up! If I say it myself and I do, this is good ghosty story whatever the eve!and, Owner is busy writing a sequel to it and me? thanks for wondering, well I am busy on a spooky tale, which, if Owner has her way will be published next year....and this one is the prequel to the above - 'A Story for New Year's Eve.  We love it!X
herewith and therefore is the good link to the story folks:
There we are then folks and not much else to report tonight.  We are on with corrie x 2 AND Sarah thinks she is being haunted by Callum and in Enders, Jane has ditched Eean and he said to everyone to GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN.  That included a character called Stephen who Owner has said a hundred times now WHO IS THAT. x
In other weensy and annoying news, Yogi has been in and nicked all Rugglesis tea time AND hissed and reared up at Owner.  Then Rugglesis went funny and looked at Owner as if she were a monster (I said nothing, DE RIEN folks.x) and sped off round the back.  YES he has come home as if DE RIEN had happened and is back on his heated pad as if DE RIEN had happened.  Bertie you all wonder up? safe in his kingdom of nothing (.......x) ever happens in it.  Except nice things.X
Have a lovely end to your week folks, and purr in the face of adversity!  Big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 2 June 2016

Wonka tells it.

Howdy up folks and YES a new day and a new dawn and guess what? NO that is not it,  it is still windy, grey, chilly and UNSEASONAL weather.  If you live here that is.   and staying with the out of season look, Owner has insisted we continue with our stories and we are to this one!!x
There we are!!  It is Joe's Christmas AND it is in three parts!! it is all about little Joe who turns up in the first Christmas Story too.   This time, he is a small boy looking forward to all the magic of Christmas but how will his Mum make it all happen? when you wish upon a star anything can happen! do try this one as it is full of new characters and new adventures.X
What else has gone on Wonka you all whisper up, glad it is Fridee tomorrow.  All I can report folks is that Owner lay awake half the night and no shed door banging or cherry tree falling down either. this means that when she did fall asleep it was near enough my breakfast time and I had to circle the bed and dab at Owner's face several times to alert her!!! OH! she goes IS THAT THE TIME! hours later when ME and Bubster and Rugglesis were all fed and our facilities seen to does she pop out.  It's at times like that folks when I can really get on with things and it seems like only 2 mins before she flings back in. I checked the bags for hair product. NONE, tick. SILLY CLOTHES she will never wear not even in her coffin NONE tick, CHOCOLATE CAKES SWEETS None huge and giant tick.  I did say to her are you coming down with something Owner but she didn't hear me above running a bath.X

It has gone and published this without my say so folks.  I ask you. tonight all there is is: a programme all about dementia (I know.x) Enders (double I know.  specially if it is all about roxy and foxy as Owner will shout.x) and that is it. There is millions of football and millions of springwatch when we are hoping for Summer.  do enjoy your eve folks and I'll be back to pester you all tomorrow!
Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

Some Spook!

Halloah folks!  YES another freezing cold and drizzle ridden day here in keeping with it being THE FIRST OF JUNE.  I know.

Owner is busy shouting at the weather forecast as it is showing warmth and sunshine ELSEWHERE whereas the East Coast is being battered by chill and mizzle. FOR GOODNESS SAKE she is shouting.

At least the cherry tree survived its second fall in the night and no banging shed doors!  Either that or Owner was so overcome by yesterdee's probs she slumbered on through it.

There it is!  My very own fave folks!!  and this spooky tale, the very first one ever told by us, is about REAL people and REAL events! yes Siree it is a fully fledged (like that word as it puts me in mind of birds.X) ghostie will love it.  and herewith is the very good link:
do take a peak and find out all about the ghostly hauntings by the river in Hull. got all my whiskers a quiver! X
In other soggy news, Owner flung off to the shops and trudged home again.  She said we are not to mention money, accounting, care homes, savings or funding.  And for once folks, I am in full agreement - I have even topped up the wishing well to put things right.  something did put a smile on Owner's face though and it is happy news concerning daughter.  This is a rarity, and should be framed.  End of and parental fact up.X
Tonight, all we can cuddle up to is corrie X 1.  We loved In da Club last night and it far exceeded our hopes.  We ADORE it.  springwatch is on for ever and a day followed by a new series VERSAILLES.  This promises to be a romping good yarn if Owner can stay up that late. (9 30 pm) In competition with this, is me and the big C on Beeb one at 9 pm.  I know.  and I am shielding Owner from such bleak viewing - French people having a go at frivolity and fun is more the thing eh....EH!  MAIS OUI.  Do enjoy your eve folks and keep that heating on!! big Love Wonka X