Sunday, 31 January 2016

Good Night Sir Tel!

Owner has been in tears.

OH NO! she says, whilst tuning into good radio 2.

what is it Owner I goes up, ever mindful of my need, I mean OUR need for breakfast. (see how caring I am really? eh? EH?)

Sir Tel aka sir Terry Wogan, has joined all the others in the next room Wonka! she says to me.

For all you folk in the world UNAWARE of such a man, he has entertained us folk in this tiny isle for years and years and years.  He made Owner laugh, (we know how important this is.X) he played the right music and found new artists to sing to us (Eva Cassidy was just one of those folks and Owner has wept away to 'somewhere over the rainbow.  I says it should be renamed somewhere over the radio.'X)

I WILL THINK OF TERRY WHEN I HAVE ANOTHER BASH AT IT Wonka..... she means that little local radio folks.  Personally, I think it will take more than that and I remembered not to say that out loud folks!!

There we are!  We love the radio it is never off in this house and even Ruggles loves it so much in the kitchen he sat on it!!  Owner says we must share that too,  WHAT AGAIN? I droned to her....
YES AGAIN Wonka, in honour of Sir Tel.X
There he is! atop the good radio......God bless you Sir Tel. X
It is the last day of January folks and too many musicians, and entertainers, and good folk have wandered into the room next door. Owner is still weeping by the way.  Will it effect my snacks and my teatime you all shout up out of consideration (long but good use of word.x) NOT if I have anything to do with it. YES, Bertie is fine and is chomping up his tablets (Owner cannot under deep investigation ((phew)) recall what they do.....x) hidden in his new pouch food.  And I have tried not to eat his new and rather tasty biscuits - you know from his minute and weensy daily ration.  Ruggles is an angel cat we all know that and is even now deep in slumber atop his heated pad.X
Last night we kept up with the newby panel on the Voice, and wonder of wonders, Owner announced she might like them a bit after all.  WHAT I droned, even my little Paloma?? 
BOY GEORGE calls her 'PALAVA' says Owner.  personally, I prefer our one, but if it makes her smile, then thank goodness I say.
There was one standout artist, we loved him and end of.  NAME Wonka? you all shout up irritated I haven't said.  KEVIN, KEVIN SIMM. Fact up! X
Try and have a day and a half folks out there in the world, best paw forward and furry chin up!  Big Love Wonka X
PS it is call the good midwifey on tonight, so a chance to Owner to weep some more.....X

Saturday, 30 January 2016

Me Me Me Satdee

It's been all about Bertie Bubb and Ruggles lately, and not enough about me. let's face it folks, I am the glue here. YES, Bertie was returned from the vet in one big fat massive piece and he has been tested for everything. 
WAS IT VERY COSTLY Wonka? you all want to know, being very money minded folk.  if you had seen Owner's face when the good vet receptionist said 'shall we get the hard part over with first?' the credit card fairly jumped out of her purse and into the machine...............It turns out we could have (just about) gone on a day out to London and back on it. BUT I am happy to say, my trip to the vets was a tad more expensive AND it was right on top of Owner's gallivant to Europe.  End of and big FAT FACT UP.X

Herewith is what you have all been hanging off the edge of your settee for:
There we are!! you were all waiting for news on the beloved wotsit plant which has only just been ousted (good use of word.x) by the thingy plant - well here it is, nestling in a jam jar with some other bits off plant.  Wouldn't you know it, Owner CANNOT throw away anything and this includes bits offof plants. X
DID ANYTHING ELSE exciting happen yesterdee Wonka? you still all want to find out..............  after Owner spent a cart load of money on Bertie, and fell back in with him bleeting away - tipped him out so he could quickly run in to the Narnia cupboard, the rest of the day was spent checking on him.  ARE YOU ALRIGHT Bertie? she kept asking him (while he was adjusting to being home again. yes.)  I did help out by testing out the new biscuits he has for his new diet.  5 out of 10 folks.x
In other less exciting news, Owner reports a positive write up for 'Jericho' by someone called Euan (sorry if it isn't!x) who writes scathing criticism of tv shows in the Observer Review.  She says:
Wonka, he has written a small but encouraging piece on Jericho giving it the thumbs up.  OH I says back full of interest it being nigh on my breakfast time. or maybe a bit after, who knows.
It is The Voice tonight and Owner will have to decide if she can stand my little Paloma and Rickee not getting on. Plus Willyam trying to be different and going on too much. I haven't mentioned boy George and I'm not going to.  BUT there is still Casualtee to round off our night, and Charley Farley nursey on hand.
It is now the weekend folks, so do what I do - paws up and away! out you go and have a big fat furry day!  big Love Wonka X

Friday, 29 January 2016


Just how windy is it you all question up, from your hot places, with hardly a breath of air???

VERY.  there have been reports of, and I quote: GUSTS OF UP TO  90 MPH.

So why, you further question up, did Owner decide to take Bertie to the vets on such a gale force with the possibility of rain and or snow, day??  She had run out of excuses folks, to NOT take Bertie for a close inspection at the hands of the good vets.X
There we are!! Once Owner had made the decision ( a lengthy wearing process.X) she was a whirling dervish!  and has continued whirling round ever since. 
I HAD TO LEAVE HIM she says when she blew back in without him.  personally, this will leave a giant gap in my daily routine which includes hourly checks on him in the Narnia. I did remember to ask 
WHY Owner?  it turns out he is massive (we knew that and Owner is full of remorse and guilt.x) despite best efforts to reduce his trough of biscuits.  Even I helped with this, by eating them! the fact that he is massive may have (drum roll) impacted on his health (need to lay down now.X).  he is to have a blood test, and Owner's already racked up nerve is racked up some more.  Me?  taking it steady you know, after all it may be.................DE RIEN!!!!
one thing we do know folks is that it will cost Owner a fortune.  That is certain. End of Fact up, and we don't love it. X
What else is there to say on this wind swept but sunny day?? Owner had a missed call from the good agency and when she rang them back hours and hours later, the only consolation (!) was, 'It wasn't at my fave school Wonka.'  Luckily she didn't ask where it was as who knows folks, it could have been owner's lucky break for the entire year 2016...............X
Last night we clung to Enders which is never far away from hospitals psychiatric if possible, if not ordinary ones, and then police stations OH and husbands being kissed by Witnee.   Fil is sick and dying if he doesn't have a transplant.  I know. Jericho was alright to quote Owner, and 'Would I lie to you' our new fave wasn't on.  Tonight there is Corrie X 2 and that bad Feelan chap is busy being bad BUT not as bad as nasty compeyson in Dickensian! And Amelia has chosen the dress!!! We love it. X
Have a vet free, gale force wind free day to yourselves and look forward to a whiskerful weekend! Big Love Wonka X
PS Owner barely survived her new role as Radio presenter and lost an earring whilst she was failing at it.  I said best not to mention any of it, you cannot win them all Owner. (tea time.x) She said she will give it ONE MORE GO.....x

Thursday, 28 January 2016

Fortunate Thursdee!

Owner refused to get up to that snooze alarm and I had to employ all my powers.  JUMP on the bed APPROACH Owner's face ready to dab at mouth with claw.  When this fails REPEAT over and over.  At last, Owner arose.x

What is in store for Owner, now that the entire agency world of werk has dried up.  The radio, that is what.  RADIO? you all perk up and want to know more.  Yes folks, for some reason they want owner to take on an afternoon slot.

ARE THEY HARD PRESSED? is your next rightful question up.  Personally I think they must be but I have of course encouraged Owner to JUST TRY it and see.  it is only a couple of hours I said nicely to her over breakfast, of you muttering and mumbling for a few seconds between the music.  OH YES, she says back feeling nervous.  The good news folks, is that they cannot see Owner, only hear her, so it matters not if her hair looks like a bird's nest (very appealing to me, NOT to Owner.x) or if all her mascara has run down her face in the shrill wind, OR she is soaking wet in the rainstorm that just came out of nowhere.x

To take her mind off that nervous stuff there is this:
There we are!! it is Owner's very best artwork and it is ZEN (just like my AmaZEN box) for good fortune!!  Thank you Wonka! she tells me, and I quote: 'I had forgotten all about that one....'X
Now I dare say you all need a tad of Good fortune yourselves folks all steadying up for your next adventure.  Once I have shoved Owner off out for her radio show this aft, I can relax and meditate OR check on the back yard.  There is a nightly visitor to the shed eating up all the biscuits that may or may not be Blackster (famed for scrapping with Ruggles that time) so I must keep an eye out in case he or she trips traps round in the daytime.  Bertie is coughing for England and Owner may finally do something about it.
I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT Bertie she says this morn.  This means folks, she is revving up to a Vet visit.  And it needs lots of revving up to in terms of nervous reactions (Owner) cost of (Owner) and after effects (Owner.) end of and Fact up for today.X
We managed to get through an evening's telly, ending up laughing our heads off.  Owner insisted on watching Would I Lie to You, the best bits, and I have never seen her laugh so much.  Can they put this on all the time please?  Tonight is no laughing matter we are back to Enders, and will Martin ever smile again?  Not, we think, if he continues with Staycee.  Thingy and Witnee were rolling round the floor scrapping, and thingy's mum and dad are back going WOT is going on!  I know.  In Dickensian, nasty mean and lying Compeyson is already married! and has proposed to Amelia! She is blind to his cheating ways and has accepted. We love it.x
Do have a super, sunny, good fortune day folks, and bask in it all like me!!  Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 27 January 2016

Go Mad Wednesdee

What sort of advice is this Wonka?  you all shout to me, and some of you whisper...... Owner has had to face up to something she didn't want to, AND now she has (yes I had my work cut out for that one folks.x) she is FULL OF IT.

She is strongly advising that everyone else do the same.
FACE UP TO THEIR FEARS Owner? I says helpfully.

YES, she says merrily.  Only by doing that can we move on.... it does mean: (list) 1.  thinking out of the box (I often do this, at least with my tail hanging over the side.x) 2. being a bit mad....(Owner has a head start here! only joking Owner!x) and last but not least
3. Being brave.  I must say Owner is fairly skipping round the house now she has 'gone mad' as she puts it.  Me? thanks for asking, my usual sane approach to the day is in progress.  do a bit, rest a bit, eat a bit and repeat the process. X

For our daily offering we have this:
Haven't we seen that recently Wonka? More than likely folks BUT Owner has insisted on showing it again AS it is Ruggles going mad with a leaf.  And it makes her laugh.  Folks, this is to be prayed for I tell you.  end of and Fact up. X
While you are all off out solving those silly problems that seemed like a mountain top two mins ago, I have to tell you about the real Marigold Hotel.  WE LOVED IT.  Owner has fallen in love with Wayne Sleep all over again and has driven me mad with this question.  WHAT DID WE SEE HIM IN Wonka?  I have raked through all the known progs that we watch and come up with DE RIEN.  I only know that Owner fell in love with him before. it cheered her up no end and I am in love with it too.  who else is wandering the streets of India?  There is lovely Jan Leeming, and that bossy cook and Miriam who is definitely mad.  India is the new retirement home, and Owner is thinking of going. NOT, I says up, without me (oh alright and them too. X)
Tonight we can cuddle up to Corrie and Dickensian - with wicked sisters and nasty Compeyson trying to trap Miss Havisham.  in the meantime, like Owner, I suggest you dress up, face the music and prance!! Big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Huggy Tuesdee

Halloah!!! Good Morn and shake a leg!! This is universal for time to get a move on, hurry upski and look lively!!

WHAT FOR Wonka?  you all gasp up out of breath with rushing round.  It is a proper gusty blowy windy day out there, and there is nothing more exciting than blowing along with it!!  NO, Owner does not agree with me AND she is holding off from setting out in it.  We have already observed passers by wrapped up in their rain hoods and macs heavily protected against the (persistent) rain. end of. X

Personally, and alright I am a warm and snug observer from the bay, or the back windows, BUT there is nothing DE RIEN more refreshing than a walk in the rain and wind.  WHAT Wonka, she drones to me (quote) 'Bent double with the wind and rain lashing you from the front, and nowhere to shelter?? YES I says back. (had my breakfast folks....x) It is guaranteed (OH!!) to get you going and thinking straight.

Here is our non windy cartoon for the day folks:
There we are!!  it is a new plant called The Thingy plant as Owner threw all the packaging away with its name on.  I know.  I cannot hug a tree folks, but I really do want to hug that plant, I love it.  Just a tiny huggy nibble that is all.................x
Owner says she loves to hug me, and Bertie and Rug.  YES, hug rhymes with Rug, but I get the first hug, when I leap onto the bed to disturb Owner's dreams. (it was puddings and sweets this morning. I said you have been watching and listening to Mary Berrikins and her pannycotta pudd.X) I don't hug anyone EXCEPT my amazen box I love it. AND the odd plant.X
We managed to cope last night when Enders popped up although Owner thought footie was on. Staycee is safely in her hospital bed (weeping) and now we have Martin to contend with, looking downcast and mis. Ben, who has got Fil for a Dad, is going to be himself.  (I know) and another piece of the jigsaw in Staycee's overflowing life has trotted in as Lilee's Dad. I did say no wonder Martin looks mis, but Owner didn't hear me above shouting at the poor tv.  Tonight there is more and we must hope for a bright patch.x
Now do get smothered up in your macs and hoods and strike off out in it folks!! Huggy up in your scarves and gloves and keep those whiskers bristling.  Big Love Wonka X

Monday, 25 January 2016

Dream Big Mundee

On the subject of dreams folks Owner was seen scribbling down her latest.  ANY GOOD? I questioned up, showing a lot of interest it being smack on breakfast time.
I HOPE THEY COME TRUE she says back, after a brief look in her dreamy book.  folks, so do I.  end of and fact up for today.X

herewith and without further ado:

There he is!! those blobby orange things are Bertie!! just to prove  to the world he has not disappeared at the back of his igloo OR starved to death on his new diet.  Owner reports thus: He IS MORE ALERT since I cut down on his luxury sheba and biscuits. me? thanks for asking, I have been cut down too UN PEU.  (that is my new fave next to DE RIEN.x) xx
Now yesterday it being Sundee Owner did not dwell overlong on questions like (list.) 1.  When is she going to increase her income. 2. surely we are hurtling towards starvedom and what can save us? 3. Is the wishing well doing its job??
Now personally, and you know I am right, I am banking on the wishing well.  I have thrown many a coin in and I trust it 100% BUT if only Owner would help out occasionally - then.....I mean I have written books had them published and wotnot  - who knows, some folks may even be buying them!!! (Owner prays they will.x).x
last night we clung to help or call the midwife and cried throughout.  it was lovely.  Tonight we may cry for different reasons OH NO it is alright Enders is postponed thanks to some footie.  Now Owner has said words to the effect that she must go out and I am all in favour.  I have prepared a long to do list with lots of essential shopping.  since we watched a programme all about how much sugar those pesky manufacturers (breath breath) are shovelling into ALL OUR FOOD Owner will be longer than usual as she will have to read that tiny print on the the packets and tins and jars.  She could be gone for some time and I can zzzzzzzzzzz.  x
Ruggles has enjoyed a brief trot up back and back (5 mins tops) and is far away in his own personal dreamy land on his heated pad. I know.) I am telling you to brush your fur down, and smarten up and get out there folks!! Dream big for Mundee.  Big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 24 January 2016

See What Happens Sundee

Just because Owner was up at the crack of Dawn or Pre-Dawn as some are calling it - me, I call it the middle of the night and end of - well it was the usual cloudy and dark ridden sky with no let up for the planet line up OR the full moon (it is in Leo folks. yes.x)

I MAY AS WELL STAY UP she goes to me as I lay there on the luxury carpet waiting for a middle of the night cuddle.  but no folks, she just steps over me and spies a clock saying it is but 6 am.x

This is the kind of view we would have liked folks.  clear night sky, full view of all those planets especially little old Mercury topped off by a big bright full moon BUT NO. Instead it is the same old persistent rain.  And yes, Ruggles did demand to go out in it.x

Has the day improved any you all gasp up full of anxiety? Not until Owner stopped looked at old photos of Baba. WHY I goes to her, are you looking at him.  You will recall he was my old mucker, after Golly who was my best friend in all the world and back again.No one, including me, expected Baba (who was made famous in our stories and has a starring part in Wonka's Christmas Story...x) to trot off to the sanctuary in the sky, so soon. the fact that St Francis heads this sanctuary up did not help much at the time. OH BABA, goes Owner, I DO MISS YOU. I tell you folks, I have had my work cut out this morning!  I've had to lay around looking gorgeous and cuddlesome, I've had to creep past the Narnia cupboard without looking in AND not catch Owner with a waiting claw.  But you know me, I have managed it, and regained my rightful place  as TOP CAT! x

Last night we had to get through The Voice which was more like a let's see who can make fun of Ricky the most. you know how Owner likes an underdog and even I lost patience with Willyam who would go on and on and on and on.My little Paloma is oblivious (good use of work.  big tick.x) to anything except herself and her big green shoes, and boy George is canny says Owner. OH says I. In other words folks, we do not like the new judges set up.  end of and fact up. Tonight we have the dearest drama of calling the midwives with no pesky judges in sight. We love Jenny Agutter and she cannot put a foot wrong.X

If you were all up at the pre dawn stage of the day like us folks then I say to you: rest up as much as you can, keep topping up with biscuits and no looking at things which need a hanky to go with it.
Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 23 January 2016

Full Moon Satdee

Howdy up folks and have you seen the planetary (gulp) line up yet? we meant to, but Owner slumbered on well past the pre dawn warning for it. YES, I did say to Owner, the night sky looks interesting from where I'm perched on my sideboard, but all I could hear was zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, pause and zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.X

This is what we might have spied, IF, Owner had made an effort.
IT Will not happen WONKA, she droned to me, ON ONE OF MY TOSS TURN TURN TOSS, change the pillow again, TOSS TURN nights.  End of and Fact. X :

There we are!!! the good planets all lined up and the moon (we think.  do not hold us to this folks) is just out of the good cartoon to the right.  maybe.  Mercury is the smallest planet and rules Owner's star sign of Virgo.  yes.  Jupiter is the largest and rules somebody else.  Also (fact up) this is the planet that could be hiding signs of life. or whatever they call it on Jupiter. X (sorry to all other life-forms out there in space we love you. X)

Owner is quite entranced by space and knows at least one or two things about it.  Not all of them garnered from the Alien films either (our fave films.  next to the godfather which is earthbound.x)

Like? I says to Owner in that new and irritating way.
Erm.........she goes back trying hard to rustle them up.
I know! she shouts up! some of the planets have moons.
YES? And?
There might be a new, ninth planet!!!

And now folks I fear we have exhausted (need a lie down now.x) Owner's knowledge about outer space.  Hold on there is more (quote) :it is infinite, and we are a tiny miniscule spec in it - and instead of enjoying this miraculous chance of life, we seem busy destroying it.  some of us do. the rest of us, like me and you Wonka are busy being creative and fun. (phew.  I thought for a moment folks we needed a hanky BUT she has stopped being philosophical! and gone back to making a shopping list. X)

Now do enjoy your Satdees folks out there all busy gazing at the heavens and thinking what for.  There is plenty to amuse us tonight there is that new comedy programme, the Voice (only joking! and we love Marvin he is an ace presenter and looks the biz.x I haven't mentioned my little Paloma and I'm not going to.  Bertie is rootin for her out of fairness. XX  Rug is solid for Rickee xxxx) then there is beloved Casualtee.  There is also a weep ridden film on Beeb 2 which is War Horse. I CANNOT WATCH IT again, says Owner who just scraped through the first time.

We are in love with Dickensian EVEN though Miss Havisham has gone silly over Compeyson - cannot she see he is evil personified drones Owner.  and Staycee, has screamed and cried her way into a good hospital ward. BIG Sigh of relief from Owner who was in danger of going funny herself over the storyline. I did say to her,I have enough to contend with, with you Owner never mind having to watch it as well, but luckily she didn't hear me above switching it over for Corrie.x

Relax, it is only Satdee morning! time for more zzzzzzzz and plenty of biscuits!  big Love Wonka X

Friday, 22 January 2016

Fridee be here....

We have got to the end of the week without anyone else dying I says to Owner, to spur her on really.
PLENTY OF FOLK have gone to the next room, she tells me up. just because we didn't know them.  it turns out folks, that she spent an entire lesson on the subject of religion yesterdee and there is no stopping her now.  I did say, Owner, NO ONE can talk of this or that other thing or politics - it is best to steer clear (I got this from watching Michael Portillo folks, being taught how to conduct himself over afternoon tea.   there is hardly anything you can talk about without causing trub.  or big trub.  End of.X)

Personally, I worship at the shrine of Bastet that is an Egyptian god I'll have you know, and a cat.  We have a tiny statue of her or him or it, in the kitchen fending off harm.  so far in, it is working and we love it, and folks - she will appear in our next story too!!

There we are folks!! enjoying a good and peaceful start to the day, until the phone goes and it is a shout for werk. X
is Owner still reading that magic book you all want to know and she is.  It is a massive book (Jonathon Strange & Mr Norrell) but she is two thirds through. I LOVE THIS book she told me up AND it is battling for bestest book ever with................ the Goldfinch. personally, I veer towards (good use of word) the Goldfinch as it is a bird and I adore them.X
Just because it is Fridee doesn't mean we all down tools and give up. NO.  Owner must brave the persistent rain and go out for essentials.  We are low on my senior biscuits (my preferred nightime snack - bedtime, middle of the night, dawn-ish.X) and Owner may need some food though why, when she is droning on about losing weight I wonder up folks.....Ruggles went out for his early morning watch and returned quickly (which is how Owner knew it would rain.x) and then we spied one of the cats out back - Owner has called it Queenie, trotting over the shed roofs.  The shed, has a strong smell of Blackster in it, but because he is black and travels at night, we did not spy him.
I haven't mentioned Bertie or his kennel cough and I'm not going to, end of and Fact.X
We can all lay back and breath easy. HOW SO? you all question up.  Because Staycee has at last and somehow travelled to hospital and we have high hopes she will stay there, just for Owner's own nerves really folks. tonight we have Corrie X 2 and more Dickensian. this went a bit dark folks, as Owner says to me blimey Wonka, that Compeyson is a Villain beyond Villain and how can Amelia (miss Havisham) be taken in..... Gyp wasn't taken in (her dog) but did she listen up???  I only hope folks that if I take against someone Owner will heed my well meaning advice.
YOU KNOW I WOULD Wonka, she says quickly. (X)
Now do go on to have the Fridee of your dreams folks and we will see you on the other side of this rain soaked day, with dry fur and clean whiskers!! Big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 21 January 2016

Out of the sky blue pink!

All nice and relaxed, especially since Owner has taken to sitting down to eat breakfast instead of standing up.  In cat terms, that is equal to me running round my trough and snatching biscuits out of it as I go.  This would be bad for my digestion and just because Bertie rushes out of the Narnia, chomps his breakfast down in fkgtgskd of a second, DOESN'T mean his digestion suffers.  No. x

Ruggles popped out this morning for a reccy or a saunter or whatever he does out back. WHERE IS HE? goes Owner after he has been gone all of 5 minutes.  When he does appear, after a respectable 20 mins, he is greeted like a long lost thingymigig. Owner says it is the Prodigal son, but I prefer my word and End of.X

Next thing folks, does the phone go bbbbrrrNNNGGGGG! and suddenly Owner is in demand.  Luckily, to a school she actually likes and folks we know how skinny that list is! When she fell back in aons of time later (like it) I quickly said how lovely her hair looked and had she enjoyed her day with the childer??
YES I DID Wonka, she says back and folks you could hear my miaow of relief possibly in americy!!!!
and if that isn't how you spell miaouw I am not caring. Owner says they did punctuation for Year 11 at the end of the day when (and I quote): 'Quite Frankly Wonka, no one knew a semi colon from a colon from an apostrophe. spelling could be a tissue I mean issue too..............X
Last night we cuddled up to Corrie (Carling brown eyebrows is breathing on a thingy in hospital and Tracee has NOT owned up as yet to being a witness.X) and then the NTAs.  the same old people won everything BUT billy Connolly who has hitherto (LOVE IT) won De Rien, trotted up and picked up a nice lifetime wotsit award. For some reason Owner found this 'POIGNANT Wonka'  is that a word I says and it is now.X
We are safe tonight as Dickensian is finally on even if it is after Enders.  Will any of those innocent bystanders get Staycee a Doctor? Now do enjoy your evenings folks and try and find a nice programme to hug as it is international hugging day!!!  I will give Bertie an extra check and pretend it is a hug and as for Ruggles - he had his ration this morning and end of. Fact up. Hugged out and so on.  Be furry and be good.  Big Love Wonka X

The Request

What is this Owner, I quizzed up, sensing a drop in the atmosphere, a change in the (wait for it.  drum roll. perhaps some violins too...)
EQUILIBRIUM!!! (I have outdone myself.x)

it turns out that Owner has received a request from my aunty (Daughter by any other name) to do something.

1.  This something is always Angst ridden and worry warting.
2.  It is generally impossible even to an expert,
3.  it is not visible even with a telescope or magnifying glass.
4.  it will defy all know passwords and such like.

Can you just say NO Owner?


to lighten up and brighten up this Wednesdee problem, what else but me?? x
There I am!! sending out my usual positive thoughts and helpful vibrations (in the form of purring.x)  One poor request and this could send Owner into a poor mood setting of say 2 -3 on the mood reckoner.  She will bob from one slight problem to another, and then by the time you can say HOW'S MY BISCUIT TROUGH she is on zero.  A bit like your hours with that good agency I says up, but luckily she didn't hear me above making a builder's tea.x
Can I find something in the day to improve matters?  it is tricky folks, as blow me down, Dickensian our new fave with or without Bullseye (and it is without folks.I am not going to mention Gyp. or the newbie dog.x) - is not on it has been shoved off for some footie.End of. and Fact X
Corrie has been shoved on early due to some award thingy so all in all I have my werk cut out.  There is not even Stacee continuing to go mad in the Queen Vic with a load of bystanders to rectify (like it) the sit. (that's short for situation and it annoyed Owner so I cannot use it again. end of.x) In other news, Bertie is still coughing,and Rug has a new friend out back.  it came up to the gate and Rug liked it.  so Owner thinks 'it' is a girl. x
I am looking forward to Owner flinging off out to an afternoon's invigilating folks and returning on a setting of say 6 -7.  I can but dream eh.  Now as for the rest of you, you must brush up your fur and get those whiskers a bristling!! January can't go on forever!  big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

The Eagle has flown Tuesdee

It just seems like every day now another music man has left the stage that is in this room and gone off to the room next door.... said Owner this morning after hearing on the good Radio (Ruggles was not sitting on it this morn) that Glenn Frey who was in that wondrous band The Eagles (I specially like a band named after a bird) has flown off.

I KNOW I says back chock full of sympathy and such like. Yes it was touching distance to my breakfast BUT I meant it folks.  and, I suggested to Owner she play Desperado as that is our fave.  Next to Take it To the Limit, and taking it Easy, and Tequila sunrise and all the others. X

To cheer us up, all who are left in this room wondering what it is like in That room, Owner has trawled through our stash of cartoons for something heartwarming and birdlike.
There we are!!  That is me gazing adoringly at a lone blackbird!  I do like a blackbird, and it is Owner's fave bird.  If I had to pick a fave it would be a seagull as you know, but blackbirds would come a close second up.  End of. X
Is there any other news to report you all wake up from your doze, or daydream to ask me?  Owner is firmly on the scrap heap for the day with half a day's werk tomorrow folks.  I have prepared a massive TO DO list and anytime now she may gaze at it.  I did say to her, you cannot afford Owner, to rest on your laurels for long.....but she didn't hear me above listening to Desperado for the kghgslsfh nth time.X
Aside from the Eagles, Ruggles has caused Owner to rethink, yes rethink the kitchen side layout.  NO MORE is the milk jug to remain in temptations way!  it is to hide itself in a cupboard.NO MORE is there to be the obstacle of the tray, with mugs and such on it. THAT is to be propped up out of Rugglesis way.
I HAVE NEVER, drones Owner to me (shouting over the Eagles on the radio) had such a clean and tidy surface. I did say what with Ruggles standing all over it but again folks, I was saved by The Eagles singing away.......X
We had a double helping of Corrie last night folks, with good Carling brown eyebrows (to match her waning hair colour,X) being sort of mugged and sort of attacked and sort of losing her handbag and then blow us down, being thrown to the cobbles!  over in Enders, some people are beginning to realise that Stacee is one nerve short of a fuse. AT LAST shouts Owner at the telly, who is not far short of this herself....(only joking !! X)  tonight we must endure Enders again with more folks possibly raised from the dead but so far Kat's dad is staying prone in the open coffin. I DON'T LIKE coffin scenes goes Owner, and for once folks, I am in total agreement.  I had to go and have an extra biscuit or two to not dwell on it. X
Do have a peaceful and calm day folks, pop the radio on,settle back in your boxes and pilly cases and purr on!! Big Love Wonka X

Monday, 18 January 2016

Sky Blue Pink Mundee!

WHAT IS THAT? sky blue pink is that a real colour you all want to know and where can you buy it.  A long long long long long long - long time ago, when Owner was but a jolly young thing- (It is alright she cannot hear me she is boiling the rocket.) - she used to wear nail varnish bearing this very name.  The obvious and pressing question is:

WHAT COLOUR IS Sky Blue Pink?? This is a good question albeit (get me) one I was expecting.  AND have no immediate answer at paw BUT this can be our adventurous quest for the week folks.  The other good thing is, all else are calling this BLUE Mundee when of course it isn't.  End of and Fact up. X

Reasons for it NOT being that kind of a day are:

There he is!! Ruggles has already entertained us first thing by suddenly leaping over the best cooker and sitting on the Radio!! 
IS IT A SIGN bleats Owner when she spies him crouching somehow atop our best radio.  YES I says, it is a sign that he saw the milk jug and took his chances....................X
The second thing that means it cannot be such a day is that Owner read and droned it to me THAT, thingy who played Grant Mitchell in Enders is to return.  Luckily he is not dead but that hasn't stopped them returning other folk.  End of. X
The third thing is this: Owner was looking forward to a new drama that says it is a comedy and it had better be, called....The Rack Pack.  it is about our other snooker hero Alex Higgins (in the room next door) and lots of the other ones, specifically (drum roll.) Steve Davis. She went to the beeb iplayer thingy last night and instead of it being there it said: episode available shortly.  ~a whole day later it is here!!!  and to round it off Ronnie easily won the Masters just like we knew he would. How much more sky blue pink can it get??x
YES, there is a dental check up but so far in I have managed to keep Owner from dwelling on it by trying to check on Bertie (stopped right away), trying to look at Ruggles (stopped at the last minute.x)  it is a dull dingy and drizzle day but are we sad and gloomy???NO we are not!!  Keep warm and snug and purry!! big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 17 January 2016

The Last Decoration!

THERE IS ALWAYS one of these.

Every year, around this time folks, when everyone else in the entire planet has taken down their good decorations and stowed them away for another eleven months or so - does Owner find the one that got away.

WHAT IS IT THIS YEAR? I questioned up, full of interest it being smack on my supper time snack, yesterdee eve. AND conflicting (I say!) things on the tv like Ronnieo and The Voce.

It is a Christmas Stocking, dangling from the sideboard drawer Wonka, she droned back.  And blow me down, I must have looked at it a million times folks, and not noticed it was there. We were just wondering when this yearly event would resolve itself.  The decoration that REFUSES pointblank to be taken down with the rest.

There it is!! it was dangling away with two other little Christmassy stars....I think Owner got confused with golly's old toy stocking, the one he never played with. THAT lives on the luxury carpet. End of.X
After that excitement, Ronnie smashing his way to the final over poor Mr Bingham was as De Rien folks!!!  And as The Voce (we are now calling it that as we have slightly lost interest folks.) Queen George seemed to Lord it all a bit over the others. What of my little Paloma you all wonder up?  she seemed in awe of everyone and everything except the panel and especially Rickee.  he seemed in awe of her.  it was all very off the wall folks and Owner who is not far off the wall herself, is trying hard to like it. What of those Green stilts that pass themselves off as shoes? Even the drag queen who did NOT get through, gave them a funny look says Owner. X
If the Voce didn't do it, then guess what folks. YES you all knew - Call the Midwifey is back on good Beeb one this eve. this alone, may save Owner from a downward spiral into a giant worrywart about everything. That and me. After all, it is ME that checks on Bertie and plays with Rug under the door.  and ME that gets Owner up in the morning when for some reason the silly old alarm is not set. I ask you.
Have a wonderful Sundee folks and go steady on this frost ridden day! Big Love Wonka X


Saturday, 16 January 2016

What a Week!

Did anything NOT happen in this week Wonka? goes Owner to me when she eventually (like it) falls out of bed promising AT LAST to get our breakfast.

It turns out everything HAS been going on.  Famous people trotting off into the next room, singing and acting and radio presenting...... did I say radio?  And Owner has made another guest appearance on Radio Scarboro.  I can only hope and pray that not too many folk noticed.

What else has gone on?  we had the car with no name behaving itself and parking up nicely, Owner had TWO shouts for work, and Bertie survived the boilerman entering his domain. X

There he is!!! you can just see poor Bertie (I'm too kind me.x) crouched at the entrance to his igloo.  What is that dangling off the door you all shout at me and want to know.  THAT'S OWNER'S BAGPUSS BAG.  End of and Fact.X
did anything else occur? you are all frantic to know.  We are still poverty stricken and have just one half of a shout for Owner next week.  I have tried my hardest to be famous and sell our Christmas Story all over the World and I'm not giving up - Bertie and Ruggles are relying on it. X (you know where it is hiding out folks at the great bookshop in the sky:

 Have you tested that Link out properly Wonka, Owner drones up and YES I HAVE!!! x
Now the other exciting thing in our week up, is that Ronnie our fave snooker player of all time is through to play some more of his erratic and genius snooker!!! Judd Trump whose name alone is fab never mind how his snooker is, is also through to the next round!! and Mr Bingham who won last year's world championship may have DUG DEEP this is a fave expression of all snooker commentators and we love it.  We are also in love with the phrase ROGER THAT, which is what an americy person was saying when our Tim Peake stepped into space yesterdee!! with the other americy Tim!!  so you see folks what an exciting starry spacey week it has been.x
Have a star filled satdee yourselves and howdy up to any new spectators we love you. AND, the voice is on tonight.  We DO like Marvin, and we do like Georgy. and Rickee.and Willyam. as for my little paloma, Owner cannot quite warm....Me? thanks for asking, I am all for quirky, honest ridden women and I should know. (I whispered that last bit and she didn't hear above writing a shopping list and cuddling the credit card folks!x). end of our weekly round up.  Keep warm and snug! Big Love Wonka X

Friday, 15 January 2016

Ronnie's Game

ARE YOU STILL ON ABOUT Ronnie O Sullivan the greatest snooker player this side of Mars? you all shout up in wonderment.

YES!!! Yesterdee, it went grey, freezing and threatened some horrid weather out front AND out back.  Ruggles settled up, Bertie hunkered down in the Narnia and I, yes I, kept a watchful eye.....

I CANNOT GO OUT IN THAT! announced Owner when first off does it send down a good drench of freezing and heavy rain.

There she is !! and that decision folks was an easy one UNTIL, she realised she HAD to go out for a few essential supplies...... I MUST GET BACK FOR THE SNOOKER she fretted up.x
When she fell back in after circling the motorway aka street for a parking space - there are MORE roadwerks around which has forced everyknown car in the town to use our street as a cut through.  End of and Goodnight Vienna. (sorry Vienna it is not your fault.xx) - she was a bit wet and cold BUT still on a good mood setting of 9.x
It was Ronnie v Mr Mark Selby who can play for toffee except when Ronnie's toffee is sweeter and stickier and bestest. Steve Davis who is never boring now he does not play snooker, and thingy were commentating and SAID it was the most brilliant frame of snooker they had seen:  I AGREE says Owner, when Ronnie wafts up to the table and wins the frame even though Mr Selby had scored 70.  End of us droning on constantly about snooker and Ronnie. X (until the semis.x)
In other less exciting news, there is hardly anything to report.  No one famous that we have never heard of has died today, yet, and Owner is still firmly on the scrap heap. She is only depressed and worried about this in the middle of the night and otherwise we can look forward to a calm and happy Owner.x
Do have a wonderful dry and warm Fridee folks out there especially if you live in a cold and freezing country.  in which case I can strongly recommend an Amazen box OR a snug igloo like Berties OR a heated pad like Rugglesis.  Whiskers a tingling!!
Big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 14 January 2016

Jericho Thursdee

Is Jericho a place you all wonder up? and where is it.  Owner thought it was in Amercy.  No I says that is a Band called that Owner.   HAVE YOU NOT HEARD of the Walls of Jericho I questions her up.....

DID THEY GET BLOWN DOWN Wonka she replies.

It's true folks that there is a biblical story that mentions it.  history has it, (get me) that the sound of the approaching army or group of folks or tribe or wotnot, made the walls tumble down.  they may have been blowing trumpets or something very like that. 


But this is nothing to do with that, it is about a new series on telly called Jericho and it is set in the Culverdale valley right here in Yorkshire or close to it. They are building a railway viaduct (gulp) in the 19th century and Michael Portillo is nowhere to be seen as yet (sorry Michael we love you and your railway journey progs. X)and so far in (episode one is down) we love it. FACT. x

Railways!! Owner loves trains and was at the Museum in York yesterdee with the mencap folks.  they might have a disability here or there but being on platforms and trains well they all loved it!Queen Victoria's coach was there she tells me up, and lots of other lovelies. it is Owner's ambition to go on the Orient Express folks. yes, and we are only a few thousand short of the ticket. BUT if you don't have a dream folks, how's a dream going to come true? eh EH???! X
Today I have glanced out the snooze ridden beauty of my Zen box and sighted a gloomy rain sodden day.  this can only mean one thing zzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH! Owner will have a long wrestle with herself about whether to hole up for the day in the warm and dry OR fight her way out in the drenching rain to traipse round a shop.x
do keep dry yourselves folks and warm and positive! Bertie is doing all of this we think, in his snug nest in the Narnia and seems unharmed by the sudden intrusion of the boilerman yesterdee. Rug, who had several lumps of fur that would not unknot themselves despite Owner's patient unravelling AND in danger of a tiny nip when Rug got fed up with that, managed to get rid of them yesterdee.  HE IS LUMPEN FUR FREE she announced.  and that folks is our top news story!Be good and be fair, Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Ronnie is back!

Who is Ronnie.
Surely folks all over the world know who Ronnie is says Owner full of love and adoration and hero worship.

Yes there it is the Crucible in Sheffield where Owner went on her dream ticket in 2014 to watch Ronnie O Sullivan win.  He did win but NOT while Owner was watching in the semi final.
HOW SO? you all gasp up......Ronnie is famed for finishing off at top speed and he finished the semi final early, Before the session that Owner was booked for.  her disappointment folks is legend and she has only just stopped going on about it. End of and Fact.X
He is playing in the Masters it is on good BBC 2 in the afternoon and we were glued to it.  Once he woke up out of his trance that he goes into he played like magic.  We love him.  Ronnie to win it!! X
In other less exciting news Owner is busy all day earning a crust at Mencap.  When she returns I have to be shoved yes shoved upstairs out of the way Wonka!! The boilerman cometh. What of Rug you all shriek to me.  He will be carted upstairs too, and popped in a separate chamber!! Bertie may remain below as he knows no different droned Owner.  it is a military operation. Fact.x
Halloa Folks!!! yes it is me, saved from being flung in a room out of said boilerman's way.  Not to mention Rug who for some reason gave Owner a tiny scratch on the way up to his imprisonment. I STILL LOVE YOU RUG! warbled Owner.  I mean.  did Owner have a decent day of it you all query turns out that she went all the way to York Railway Museum folks and took a few snaps. more on that folks tomro.x
It is Dickensian night! and no Staycee on the roof.  Yes and all think nothing of her going up there with the babe and standing around in the cold night air.  NO ONE is taking it seriously says Owner to me.  I know.  Now have a pleasant eve folks and relax,  for we are nearly half way through January and it is all to play for! Big Love Wonka X (ps Bertie had to go in his igloo in the Narnia cupboard as unexpectedly the boilerman went in there!! to inspect the gas meter!! SO BRAVE warbled Owner. she stood in my biscuit trough which knocked into the water bowl and I, yes I, had to stand and eat on a big damp patch. end of and fact. X)

Tuesday, 12 January 2016


After yesterdee which should now be a national remembrance day for David Bowie (says Owner, and I do agree, yes.  Bertie would agree if he knew what was going on but he doesn't.  Ruggles is all for it we think.end of.x) - we are struggling to make simple decisions.

WHAT LIKE? I says to Owner.......she reports a strange night's sleep (I said nothing to that.x) with a dream of trying to scream and whispering instead. OH, I says full of encouragement and such like it being a tiny bit of fur away from snack time.

I cannot decide Wonka, she droned up, whether to cancel my check up at the dentist or not.  The think is folks out there all rushing to make appointments with the local torture chamber I mean Dentist, is that Owner's appt clashes with aged Siblings appt.  And usually, Owner is good enough to go with aged sibling to his.

What about, I chirp up, (like it) putting yourself first Owner?
What at the torture chamber I mean Dentist Wonka?

There it is!! The place Owner hates the most except folks, when she likes the Dentist...........x
It is no sacrifice Owner, for you NOT to go to your appt.
AGREED Wonka. 
And there folks, we might be edging towards a decision. Who knows, she may figure it out before tea time.Fact.x
In other more exciting news, Owner survived an afternoon invigilating in a barely warm classroom (for her) with a small parcel of childer.  DID THEY GET ON WITH IT I asked up, after she had trundled back home moaning about needing cups of builders tea and such like.  THEY USED UP ALL THE TIME Wonka and should pass easily. x
Tonight we can look forward to more Enders, and stacee and babeee are off the roof now. Martin saved them and thingy knows Arthur is thing's son. And I thought Owner would explode when yet another relation of Kat turned up. but she didn't.  In corrie our real fave, Carling black eyebrows went to tell Nick she couldn't marry him but was persuaded it was the best idea since the last one.  Will her casual one night fling with Tracee's ex love come back to haunt.  IS OWNER AFRAID OF THE DENTIST!!x
To learn more about Owner's decision making tune in tomorry folks, and go on to have a best January day so far.  Whiskers a tingle!  Big Love Wonka x

Monday, 11 January 2016


Listen up folks, as we are very sad this morn.
WHY you all say from around the globe and wotnot.

Owner stopped in her tracks whilst mucking about in the kitchen and says OH NO.  Announced on the Radio at 7 20 am or thereabouts, the legend that will always be David Bowie has died.

He made millions of music, and Owner says if she has to pick one from all of them it will be Major Tom who for most of her life (I know and I haven't said it folks) she thought was Major Tong.

I CAN ADMIT IT NOW Wonka she tells me up, or should I say confessed up!!!  I won't tell a soul I says (only Bertie and Ruggles and anyone else I can get up close to..........x)

After this sad news Owner says we must carry on and cheer up. she thinks he will have joined the celestial band forming in the heavens and that is final.  End of.X

In other less exciting news I have sidled up to the play tunnel thingy wotsit and may consider playing with it. or hiding behind it or just looking at it.

There we are!!! I did this last night and Owner was very pleased that I had taken a tiny notice of my expensive Christmas gift.
WELL DONE WONKA! she says up.  I was rather proud myself folks, but didn't actually GO IN IT.  it makes a frightening rustley noise that is sposed to be appealing to cats. And I will let you know when it is. End of. Fact. X
Last night there was DE RIEN to watch as Owner has vetoed (OOOHH) war and peace and that other cold war thing on 4. What we really wanted was a nice soap or some reality tv NOT a stylish clever drama with lots of characters in it all acting their lives off. OR some spy drama with torture scenes lurking round every corner.  This is not, good for my sleep! says up Owner who slept as sound as a pound.  Now it is Mundee and we have to face the World again, we are trying very hard folks.  Very hard.
Owner must rush off and invigilate at the very school she said she would never return to. yes, and me? thanks for asking, I have the usual busy routine ahead of me and must preserve every ounce of enthusiasm............zzzzzzzzzzzz OH!  Make sure, wherever you must go to, you look a treat, and your fur is sleek and shiny.  have the kind of day you would like to have!!  Big Love Wonka X


Sunday, 10 January 2016


YES it had to happen and it has.  WHAT's that Wonka you all grumble it being only late morning (here it is.  Fact.)
The Sun has come out!!  it's stopped raining!!
And what else makes this a sunny day you all wonder up.

It is another day to cuddle up to the books we are reading (you should all be reading mine, whilst I, and Owner are otherwise engaged (OOOHH).  Owner is still ploughing through I mean reading, Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell.  it is a story about English magic and will take her all of 2016 to get to the end.  that is because she reads it at breakfast time when us three have been fed and watered and had out facilities sorted.  End of. Fact.x

And in case you have all been in a dark locked room with no windows or phones or that here is our newest and fave story:

There we are!! it is all about Tinkers and the Boolleys who Owner loved and I didn't. so. X  (it is to be found on like all the others. and is free to read because it is.X)
Now in other exciting news, we watched The Voice and have been won over by that boy George.  We like him we do.  Not so sure about my little paloma - as Owner said, nicely I thought, she is a tad too honest Wonka.  I did say, what like you, you mean Owner, and recalling our best psychoanalyst (need to lie down now) Jung, who ventured that the very things we dislike in others are but a mirror of our own failings..............BUT it was alright she didn't hear me above shouting for them to TURN ROUND for Bernie Clifton.  he used to ride an ostrich (pretend.x) for our entertainment and can sing as well. 
DID THEY TURN ROUND? you all shout up.
NO.  but Owner is now following him.  Not in real life but in the network in the sky.  I took to him as well. X
What of Marvin or Marlin or that handsome presenter?  he is still there and we love him.x
Owner may or may not fling off to the baths and then I can stare at Bertie in peace and eat his biscuits.  I know he is on rations and it is not fair. all is fair in Love and War, or is it War and Peace? YES, it is on tonight and Owner says it is not the right thing for the nerve wracking time that is Sundee eve. if there is an alternative folks, we may be on it.  Not that stalag thingy on Channel 4, it is a cold war drama also and I quote 'unsuitable for a Sundee eve Wonka.'
Do have a sunny and snuggle and swimmy day of it. Be like me and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz your way! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 9 January 2016

It's back on!

What is back on?  is it the Last Kingdom? NO, is it WolfHall NO
how about Brits Got Bags of Talent NYET!!!

Here it is folks...................

Here we are!!! it is  The Voice!  and YES of course we shall watch it...........even though it has new judges and NOT Tom Jones who knows everyone in showbiz end of.  WHO ARE THE NEWBIES??
One of them, drones Owner to me, is Boy George.  How come I says, choc full of interest, he is but a lad.  HE IS  GROWN MAN she tells me up. OH.  The other is Paloma Faith.  That, I noted, sounds like a small pony. x
Today folks we are recovering from yesterdee when Owner was successful in her mission to save the boot from being eternally closed.  I LOVE THAT NEW GARAGE she tells me up.  And, she only went on the radio again.  Where will it end? I expect when good Radio Scarboro get fed up.  this could be later, sooner, or in the middle. x
Me?  thanks for asking.  Basking nicely in my Zen Box and enjoying the new diet which seems no different from the old one.  Bertie, is getting through his trough of biscuits with ease, and Ruggles is staying in more.  There is no sign of Blackster since the scrap.x
Now we did hear a whisper of a giant lotto prize of £tjkftbldl million.  HAVE YOU GOT A TICKET? I said up.
NOT AS YET she says, but has written herself a note to get one.
if we do win (a tenner) (is it still a tenner) I can look forward to a small treat, I have been warned.Fact.x
HOW'S YOUR LUCK update.  Jupiter is doing us proud so far (that's Russell) as Owner got three yes three shouts for werk. For next week and the week after.  Thankfully we will not starve.x
Now do have the kind of Satdee you always meant to.  With plenty of nice things in it, to make your fur sleek and shiny. Have fun and remember to zzzzzz in between.  Big Love Wonka X