Sunday 29 July 2018

A Nice Spot of Rain!

IS IT RAINING WHERE YOU ARE WONKA?? Is it raining!!! It has gone straight from a Searing hot Summer to an Autumn day folks AND I have had to say to Owner: OWNER!! On no account let that pesky computerised thing wotsit that controls the heating SET it off!!!
 
There we are!!! Ruggles is fast over on his snuggley bit on the red settee and I'll tell you what folks, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH! I'll be having a few well earned snoozles myself soon.  Owner?? she has been in a flurry of activity all morning, doing six jobs at once and last time I looked was busy ringing up the electric suppliers who strangely do not work on Sundees.  YOU WOULD THINK, Wonka, she droned to me when she heard the robot say they were closed and then went through a million options of what to do next....YOU WOULD THINK Wonka that they would be there 24/7.  And folks, Owner hates that expression 24/7.  I know.XX
 
Folks!! roll on the drums building to a massive crescendo....I have found a new hidey that took Owner three trips round the house that is two levels don't forget, til she found me!!! This means that next time I whisper up an important piece of advice to Owner she will not hear it!! I am saved!! X
 
Yesterday as you may know, Owner set off to Whitby once more laden with goods for sale - and bound for the Coliseum Centre right in the middle of the town folks and just tucked away enough so that folks might miss it or say OH THERE IS NOTHING ON AT THE COLISEUM let's go in the nearest pub/café/restaurant'shop instead and spend all our holidee munney in there.................X
 
DID SHE SELL anything Wonka? you all shout up a bit desperate as you know we could starve..............She sold a pack of postcards to one of the fellow stallholders.  and bought three cards, two fridge magnets, a thing of chips and four hot drinks.  YES this mean she not only spent the profits she spent our cat food munney too.  BUT folks it does not matter because she rolled back in smiling and laughing and happy.  THIS folks, is priceless. And, Mumsteds is invited to another local event in Scarborough for December!!
 
And there he is! Bagpuss who is a rucksack and hangs nicely on the sitting room door folks - and Owner says she might take him to the next fair!! OOOHH XX
 
In other pollytical news, they are all arguing and fighting amongst themselves even Jezzer who is usually down on the allotment tending to his summer crop - even he might be having a few words and tresa Grey may be half way up a mountain by now NOT that mountain the blastit one but the one she clambers up when they all have their 9 week holiday and the country goes even faster down the pan than before.  Vinnie?? he may have gone fishing..................XX
 
We have clung mostly to Corrie and Craigie and Bethanee who exposed Kayleee for the monster she was BUT instantly forgave her and did some therapy too and little Bethanee who took Kaylee to meet her horrid Dad and made him own up!!! Instant Karma or what folks!!! Owner has shelved Enders in case it sends her funny - I did say what about all the other things that do that, but I said it from my new hidee.  Casualtee was ace and so was Holbee with Jac being full on nasty and everyone sucking up.  nearly everyones.  Tonight with no TV guide to consult we will have to race through the channels BUT will watch the UNFORGOTTEN tonight - it is a crime to miss it.  (Very Proud.X) We are heading for the final two episodes of Versailles and how we will miss it - with Louis meeting his Dad that twas the man in the iron mask and at the last minute throwing himself off a cliff to prove he was divine!!! OOOHHH goes Owner when she saw it.X
 
Next week is back to biz for Owner as she consults the Etsy Shop to see if she sell a few bits on there............NOTHING VENTURED Wonka she says to me and Folks, if it keeps me in as good as it looks and Ruggles in his Sheba terrine (I am not jealous not a bit of it) I will simply stand by ready to say things like: try it again Owner, or DON'T GIVE UP Owner when she goes impatient after the first five mins.X
 
We have had some retrogrades, some BIG eclipses folks so take it steady next week, be prepared to be hot or cold or just simply rained upon!! Big Fur and have those fangs at the ready!! Big Love Wonka XX



Saturday 28 July 2018

Gone Fishing!

WONKA WHAT YOU ON ABOUT NOW??

Folks some of you older ones, like Owner (I whispered that from under the red settee so it is alright) YES some of you may have heard Bing Crosby singing that song 'gone fishing' that old crooner he AND understand that when we say they have GONE FISHING it means they may be gone for some time...................... well folks just for today really as by tomorrow I will be popping the usual weekly gossipy thingy on here.........................in the meantime HOLD ON to your furry fur and stay cool cats until then!!
 
There we are!!! and we do love Sundees too!!
 
See you tomorrow folks............big love Wonka XX

Saturday 21 July 2018

SKOOL'S OUT!!!!

WHERE HAS IT GONE TO WONKA?? folks it was last seen disappearing into a SIX WEEK black hole..................... and everyone should be preparing for it like this:
 
 
There we are!! it is like Cassandra, warning her Mum and Dad (King Priam and Queen Hecuba of Troy) that her bruv Alexander aka Paris is returning with Helen! Stolen from Sparta and who would 'Launch a 1000 ships...................'  So keep a beady eye out folk for a packload of fun filled students covering the land with excessive youth and child like games.......................XXXX
 
In other news folks, Owner survived another two days with the students or is that the other way round, and ONE of those days was a SKOOL TRIP to the Driffield Show.  Owner tried to prepare for this like:
 




LIKE Achilles riding into his battle with Hector - the renowned Trojan warrior folks and Bruvver to Alexander and Cassandra no less - did Achilles win out?  Some would say YES and some would say NO.XXX

So when Owner crawled back in hours later with a red front and back of the neck I sensibly did not say DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME Owner in the BAKING HOT SUN WITH NO SHADE?? instead folks I waited for her to drone on for quite some time about what happened:
' those students Wonka,' she told me, 'those students were like a pack of cheetahs on the run just stopping briefly to gaze at a cow or a bull or a shire horse UNTIL they found the JCBs and Tractors and the POLICE VAN where we stopped for what seemed like seconds for a photo.  THEN they all picked up speed UNTIL I had to have a pit stop.' THEN WHAT OWNER  I says helpfully and quite starving by now. 'then I lost them Wonka for about what seemed like hours but was probably only 5 minutes giving me enough time to catch my breath and buy some extortionate tray of chips.' (£2 50 folks.  I know.X) It turns out that the wild animals I mean the students Owner was tracking I mean being with, were all flung out on a patch of bald grass also eating their lunch and buying horrid cans of pop (according to Owner they are horrid) and those mile long twisty sweets and dummies. AND playing loud music.  All's well that ends well and luckily Owner did get through the day and the Driffield Show in one shred.  She even reported seeing two yes two Alpacas.  Would she do it again?  she has survived other Skool Trips folks (Flamingo Land in the deep of winter, The Deep which is indoors...... and a Christmas Market in York on one of the coldest days she has know it even topped the Flamingo Land day.X) BUT she is a hardened Skool Tripper now and ready for anything with her bag of tissues, more tissues and those wipe things.X

There has been barely time to notice Tresa Gray and her antics OR notice whether the runner beans are alright on Jezzer's allotment and as for Donwald the Trump he cannot seem to grasp that NO is not YES and would is not would not.  ALSO and no offence to any of my Russky friends, he is loving it up with a president that most of the US of A count as a foe not friend.  The World folks is standing on its head right now and me and Owner are voting GREEN as 1) they oppose Blastit 2) they care about the environment and 3) They mostly, we think, tell the truth.X

 
Achilles asks the question that Owner and me ask all day long AND if he were to turn up now as a pesky pollytician we would vote for him and his party!! X


On the TV when Owner has not been full up with anxiety about anything, we have cuddled up to the KIDS VOICE all week long and tonight is the grand finale - our fave is a young lad who sings opera and is so strange with it he is normal (says Owner) somehow we must fit in with Casualtee and anything else that catches our eye.  In Corrie hasty KAYLEE has her claws into Craig who is so confused and muddled he cannot see she is BAD NEWS and that his Bethanee is the one for him.......babe Soosie was snatched by guilt ridden johnee but his Jenny saved him from himself and Liz although she doesn't know about Liz, yet, - we loved every minute and Kaylee is a strong contender for Owner's wrath (we missed Enders and Staycee.............X).

As the hot weather continues folks please keep an eye out for any animal that is too hot!! especially silly billy people who take their dogs out in the mid day sun OR leave them in cars.ME? thanks for asking I am nearly due my early afternoon nap and Ruggles is fast over on the red settee - he has been out, in, out and in a few times - had a snack even more times than that AND used the facilities twice but who is counting!!! Now that Skool is out for the Summer, Owner may take some time out herself and who knows may have a little jaunt off somewhere.............OR she goes, I may just have a holiday right here. Folks, sometimes there is place like homeo. I love it.XX

Whatever you get yourselves up to next week folks, keep a cool fur on and a nice wet nose!! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday 14 July 2018

The Upside of the Downside

WONKA WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?? you all say to me in your zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz It has been too hot to thing here folks and I dare say you are all napping or dozing or sleeping or just having 40 winks.................  This week folks has had enough ups and downs in it to be like a rollercoaster ride!!

1.  Ingerland flop out of the Semi-final and good old Croatia crash through.  WHERE IS THE UPSIDE TO THIS WONKA? you all shout at me now for a clever answer??  It simply means that instead of bashing around a pitch on Sunday we were bashing around a pitch today and getting thrashed by Belgium 2 to 1. BUT all our proud of our team and love Gareth and his waistcoat and they will be coming home to an adoring island. X

 
There we are!!And look at that a fab quote from the man of the mo.XX
 
2.  Roger Federer who Owner did want to be in the Wimbledon final crashed out to that machine person Mr Anderson.  WHERE IS THE UPSIDE TO THAT WONKA?  it means we all love him even more than before, he is the bees knees and he will be back on track once that milly molly Anderson gets knocked out in the final tomorrow by novak.  Who bashed Rafa up our other idol by winning the last measly set.  WE LOVE YOU RAFA and the upside to THAT one is HE IS STILL THE Number One SEED or plant or flower.XXX
 
 
3.   Donwald the Trump has no manners that we know of, is a egomaniac and cannot string a whole sentence together without being horrid to someone, making out he is the king of the world and so on.  WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE UPSIDE Wonka?  This wonderful little island floated a giant baby donwald above London for all to see PLUS a giant demonstration of people who do not like him or his policies.  Brothers and Sisters against this little man.  EVEN the Queen who had to meet him could not understand how ordinary manners have passed him by.X  her Maj stayed strong whilst he, looked silly.
 
 
HAS ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENED Wonka??
 
 
Owner ended up working four days instead of two and has not stopped going on about how this has worn her out. I mean I feel sorry for the students especially the one who she worked with all day for three days,..................... but I said this very quietly folks whilst she was busy doing about five jobs at once after falling back in each evening.  On the last day it was all covering classes and coming out the other side of two hours with a year Eight.
 
'It was like herding kittens Wonka!  but I think I won out.'
 

 
There we are!! This is where those unique three selling points come in!! (if only Owner could recall what they are.....................XX)
 
And of course the upside to the downside of going through the wringer of the year eights and nines and tens is that OWNER WILL BE PAID FOR IT.  So we won't starve next week or the one after.  ME? thanks for asking I am coping well really, having to lay down most of the day due to the heat, and doing so on my giant special relationship nest aka Owner's best bed. Ruggles is also doing a lot of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  which takes up most of his giant nest aka Owner's second best red settee.I mean. X
 
 In between the wall to wall sport Owner has managed a bit of Corrie and one Versailles.  YES she keeps saying she is too tired to watch anything whilst she is watching it. We are going to cuddle up to Casualtee which has gone on holidee for 2 weeks WELCOME BACK and we did watch Holbee that didn't.  Enders is full of darker than dark storylines plus Staycee and Mad Max which says all.  Next week when we are not dodging footie or tennis we can go back to the normal zombie routine. X
 
Now talking of next week folks it is the end of this Skool year and a great time for any education staff to all cry into their hankies and hug each other.  Owner is looking forward to some downtime and I said does this mean some UPTIME with me and ruggles..  Do you get it now folks what the upside to the downside it!!! There always is one you see.X
 
So for next week keep you furry fur cool and your sunny side up! big Love Wonka XXXX
 
 

 

Saturday 7 July 2018

Go Higher!!

Go Higher for what Wonka? you all whisper up tired out from last night's exciting game of footie (Bel v Bra - Bel won it and there is a super player called R Lukaku who ran about like nothing for the entire match - AND he has a bruv on the same team.  All are thinking if Ingerland do their stuff today we could be watching a showdown!!) - AND secondly you all want to know why I am typing this in BOLD and with a strange and annoying FONT.  Answer to that one folks is: pure accident.  answer to the first Q:

Owner woke up the other morning and she straight away droned to me about her dream.  IN THE DREAM Wonka, she murbles up (that is a cross between murmuring which is impossible to spell and mumbling which isn't.) I was with this singer and she was singing the chorus to the song which was GO HIGHER.  I mean folks, this could mean dream higher, walk higher, kick higher, BE higher - who knows, but since then she has reached for those stars folks!  Especially with her pesky prints and art work wotnots - YOU HAVE TO speculate to accumulate Wonka she says to me when she is wide awake and spending even more money that we haven't got. I mean.X
 
There we are!! Paul was opposite Owner's stall and she reports he 'Sold relentlessly!! Except to a bunch of dears who after half an hour examining the same photoprint and discussing it in depth and engaging him in deep meaningful conversation - bought nothing.  DE RIEN!'  This folks is the reality of Art Fairs brought to life.
 
And this folks, is Yvonne who was right next to Owner and if I say it myself in a whisper from behind the bedroom door at the top of the housey, she put up with beloved Owner in all her mood settings.  Including the jealous one where all sold things except for her.  I did say all's fair in love war and Art fairs Owner but luckily she didn't hear me say that either.  THERE ARE LESSONS to be learnt Wonka she droned to me (and Ruggles but he was hard over zzzzzzzzzzz) and they all seem to involve spending more of that dosh.XX
 
The good news is that Ingerland thanks to Harry Kane and his merry men AND Mr Pickford who stuck his giant glove out and saved a penalty goal from those pesky Columbians!!! Well due to all of that we are STILL INIT to WINIT!! and the next match is this aft folks against those wondrous Swedes.  We are all set to watch it upstairs as that is where all the other matches were watched and won.  It will be on the other telly down below SO that if Owner has to go downstairs for her millionth cup of tea she won't miss anything.  Me?  thanks for asking, I've been out and it is too hot so I came straight back in and got on with this instead.  Ruggles is zzzzzzzzzzz on the blanket box and will only wake up for fodder.  I love him.  Sort of.
 
In the pesky world of pollytics, Tresa May took the cabinet and some reporters (they had to wait outside) to bash them all over the head with her latest idea for brexit means hexit.  She says there is a plan and surely someone will believe it?  Jezzer is busy tending to his tomatoes or whatever he has up on the allotment and Vinnie did sound out about the brexit debacle - saying something like IT WILL NEVER WORK AND THE WHOLE COUNTRY IS DOOMEd.  Donwald the Trump is still visiting and there will be a welcoming balloon flying high over London to greet him. He is even bringing Melonia and I only hope she has a proper coat this time.X
 
Beyond watching the footie and now the tennis it has been tricky fitting anything else in folks.  Owner has tried though, and managed to watch Versailles where Louis is still convinced he is a fair and loving King, our Girl who survived that thing in the jungle and then her Boss declaring his undying lerve for her and that other one who took on the command and then got blown up (he sacrificed his life and possibly saved his acting career folks by holding onto a bomb that blew up with him cuddling it.  I know.  it did upset our Girl for one or two minutes) - anyhow mostly we hugged the footie and adored Harry Kane and co.XX  PS for some reason Beeb one have for the second Satdee in a row took Casualtee off and replaced it with Inspector George Gently.  WHO?  Exactly. XX
 
Time to whip off folks and watch the Game!!  Owner is all ready with a tray of snacks and drinks and papers to read if she gets bored.  I THINK NOT!!XX
 
 
 
Remember Folks to THINK HIGHER and get those dreams into the back of the net!! Luckily Owner has some work next week to save us for starving........I know!! Good Luck Ingerland and let the best team (OUR TEAM> sorry Sweden!) Win.  Big Love Wonka XX