Saturday, 28 February 2015

Snappy Satdee

Wonka here.  Another fitful night good folks interspersed (get me) with dreams.  I HAD THREE, droned Owner when she finally crawled out of bed this morn.  OH YES I goes, all interested as I had somehow made it through the night on just one saucer of biscuits; and they were Berties!!  YES she went on, the first one I was telling someone in no uncertain terms.  ABOUT? I goes up in that new and pretty annoying way.  JUST something.  And the second one, I prompted in that new and helpful way?  A FUNERAL, she reports up.  anyone we know?  I thought this was the most helpful question so far, but blow me down she wasn't sure who. And the Final dream Wonka, she tells me up, and I was very close to starving by then, YES, I says to show slight interest, ABOUT MY DAD she finished off.  She did drone on a bit more folks but you will all understand that having finally been given a saucer of best as it looks, I was busy eating by then and not listening.  I love it.

Snappy ol para.  Blow me down then good folks if she didn't get a phone call to say her darling and wonderful dearly loved and departed Father who had a cousin called John well he has now popped off to join him!  hence the dream of funerals and Dads.  I rest my paws and everything.  What you all gasp up, a coincidence!  NO, it is synchronicity at work folks a la Carl Gustav Jung, a hero of mine and Owners.  Now what is all this snappy then, you all wonder up.  It is Owner.  I am blaming it on a fitful night's sleep and the return of her cold.  yes. This alone can explain why (list) 1.  She snapped at aged sibling about a can opener.  and 2.  Snapped at aged parent about anything and everything.  Mostly it seemed to centre on a bar of chocolate.  Aged Parent directed Owner up to her room which even on a good day is a trek and a half past millions of other bedrooms full of people you don't want to look at or turn into.  half an hour later once Owner had finally found the 'chocolate in a bag' she brought it back down  OH says aged parent 'you have brought the whole bag'.  And the chocolate folks was WHISKY chocolate.  I bought it because I like it, says aged parent.  I HATE WHISKY snaps Owner back.  Guess where the chocolate is now, that is right first time.  I love it.

Short and snappy para.  For our good cartoon we are spoilt for choice but having this one:
There we are!  it is The Voice tonight and Owner can snap snap away at that!  We love it. x
Final jump to it para.  Owner did manage to fit in a non essential shop with some much needed (according to her) make up and a much needed (?) banana yellow shirt.  This is, she says, for when she goes away.  this is a slight hintster (new word I like it) for when she pops away for a long weekend and leaves me to be spoilt rotten by my Aunty and by my cat sitter.  Anyhow I have let Owner off with these purchases as otherwise she will moan she is slaving away for little reward.  and freezing whilst she is doing it.  I am even now praying for warmer weather.  So between The voice and the 'Battles' ! NO not with those pesky Vikings, although  they can sing up with those deadly war tunes, no these singers are shouting I mean singing to each other and we have to pick the best one.  or maybe it is the Judges.  Whoever it is, will get it wrong snaps Owner.  Then we can calm down with Casualtee and Nursey Charlie et al.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and especially if you are dreaming.....Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 27 February 2015

Jam doughnut Fridee

Wonka here.  How the heck is Owner you all wonder up, after a hard week at it?  BACK HOME and doing nicely.  She trudged back with cartloads of essentials and I did say are you sure you are alright Owner as I did not spy ONE NON Essential in the shopping.  YES there were lots of packs of chocolate, and YES multi packs of that nice smelly soap she likes oh and some T lights, but Folks!!! these are essentials all the same.  It turns out between flying to the alright supermarket in her miniscule lunch hour and then after work, the only thing she really wanted was ONE JAM DOUGHNUT.  The thing is Wonka she reports to me 2 mins after landing and I was listening as I was fairly well starving, YES I says up, all ears?  The thing is, I asked the man where the Jam Doughnuts were, and all that was left was a pack.(five.yes)   HE SAID TO ME second shelf down and I could not see them straight away amongst packs of cookies and toffee rings things and all kinds of cakes ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzOH!  Yes and then I finally saw them , a pack of 5 jam doughnuts.  Personally, good folks out there, if I had been a humble shop assistant and Owner had approached me, tired out of her skull and fed up with being in miles of slow moving if moving at all traffic, I would have bounded over to that second shelf and put the doughnuts in her basket.  When Owner is on a MUST HAVE setting, you need to act fast.  I love it.

Short and jammy para.  What, you all further wonder up is the cartoon for today? Owner says there is a nice little sketch of some Daffodils which is cheerful and even more so, is the Plymouth Pony who lives on the table and we rather love him.
There we are!  A lovely smelly bunch of Daffs and there is Plymouth pony with his teeth and a glimpse even of Owner's best and newest bag until the next one.  We love it.
Final pump up the Jam para! Sated (ooh get me) on 2 doughnuts Owner has spun into action and forgotten all about her (list)1.  poor night's sleep - she blames this me.  All I did was come up the side of the bed and look at Bertie.  YES I may have done this a couple of times and blow me down if Owner didn't come all the way downstairs to tell me!!  I must admit Bertie seemed to get up and down a lot in the night. 2.  a new sore throat.  This turned up out of nowhere in the night just when we thought her cold had vanished.  anyway all this is in the past now and thankfully Owner is once more making us lots of snacks, clearing our luxury trays and generally running round like she should.  Last night was fitful but tonight?  Corrie x 2 awaits us and naughty Tracee with even more naughty Tony who is sposed to be with Liz who as you all know is Mumsy to clinically depressed Steve.  In Enders, we sort of clung to the plot line which is garnered round Mick at the Vic and his Lindah - they are having parties and babies and are surrounded by the biggest dysfunctional family you could wish for.  AND, Shazzer has been to visit her real Mum only to find she might be too more murders as yet.  Now the weekend is here and we are all very grateful especially Owner who now has more time for me me me!!!  Go steady good folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 26 February 2015

Gruffolo Thursdee

Wonka here.  Owner is so tired I have myself put her on AT Risk SETTING.  What is that? you all wonder up.  it means that (list) 1.  She could easily and suddenly slip into old and ugly mode - this is without warning and the only thing to go by is that she may appear with scissors and a new hair product. This has NOT happened yet. 2.  She has gone on a giant worry jive about £s.  I mean, there is the good credit card fairly leaping out of her purse to protect us from Starvedom.......why worry up? 3.  she had given up temporarily her minute and I mean TINY sip of medicinal red vino and what has happened?  YES,  I spied a small glass of the same.  As yet though, and here lies the blessing, she has no time folks, not really to go out on the kind of giant spending spree that being tired and such like brings on.  I love it.

Gruffolo para.  This is the story that Owner has been hearing all week and she is now very familiar with it.  I have to say I did start to listen myself when she mentioned THE MOUSE.  I do like a story built around a mouse.  Beyond that, Owner says she is Gruffoled OUT now.  She has cut out a million Gruffolos for the little people to decorate and they have.  There are weird looking Gruffolos, Gruffolos with two eyes in funny places, and with purple prickles on their heads and not their backs, and goodness knows about the wart on his nose.  He has terrible tusks (should be out of his mouth) and really it is a wonder she is still fairly alright.  ish.  I love it.

A Gruffolo free para.  Today Owner says why not show all and sundry my new hat Wonka?  So here it is:

There it is!  It is a handmade pull on hat in the shape of a cat.  Owner has purchased it for herself and of course with my is for now resting on Swannie but before that lived briefly on Bagpuss.  She hasn't worn it yet but has told the little people about it.  naturally they are all waiting to see it on her head.  I love it.

Final gruffolo day para.   Owner fell back in with a sack of concrete that is calling itself Thomas Cat litter.  I am appealing to Thomas to make his cat litter a little less heavyweight please as I thought the last thing Owner needs after her workout with the little people is to carry heavy bags.   There!  I have been kind and generous as per.  Rug has more or less settled into his new en suite aka the kitchen and shows no signs of wanting to return to his former life as a fully paid up stray cat.  That's Owner for you.  Bertie bubb is hurling himself into the wardrobe upstairs and popping out now and then for food and the other. YES I was told off last night for staring at him.  End of.  last night we were astonished to see something called THE BRIT awards and even more astonished to see it on the scale of some American extravaganza (sorry America)  it was very polished and smooth and everyone looked like film stars only they were singers.  OH and it was reported that Madonna, fell over.  We switched over to watch our fave Wolf Hall and were not sorry.  NO.  It was dark in that Tower of London and Anne finally had her head swiped off, thanks to the madness of King Henry and all his despots. (Owner says that is a word and I like it).   And in Corrie, poor thingy has let Toby or something very like that put him off his girlfriend who has flown off to New York now.   Tonight there is Enders for Owner to cling to and try to keep up with.   Dot is in prison for killing her evil son Nick and there is a new baby too.  Beyond that, it is all to play for.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 25 February 2015

Mirror Free Wednesdee

Wonka here.  Some astounding news has finally got to me.  Owner strolls back in and as per, I had to listen to mountains of information about barriers and codes and 'how lucky' this and 'for goodness sake that' - her ID is now so secure she can flash it under any of those machine thingies and check in or out.  This morn, because it was not working and instead flashed up EXPIRED Owner had to get a new card and then it said she was OUT when she was IN etc. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz and how she got through the final barrier to the car park by a stroke of luck...more zzzzzzzzz although I did listen slightly to this bit as it turns out she whipped round to that other giant supermarket that used to have famous people shopping in it and hasn't as yet shown itself to be (list) 1.  a maze 2. horrid people in it 3. hides all the essentials you came in for.  AND bought the original luxury cat food that Bertie Bubb has been taken off of.  WHY? you all wonder up, did she change the food he loves and is alright on?  Good question and the answer is all down to Owner being on impulse setting.  I love it.

Mirror free para.  NOW onto the most important info and I am sorry I went slightly off track and I blame it on Owner.  She reports up, that beyond all the numbers and codes and barriers there are NO MIRRORS anywhere.  NONE in the rooms where the little people play (up) and none in the nearest ladies room.  I have never, she droned to me, known such a lack of mirrors, AND I had to adjust my scarf in the reflection of the microwave!  Personally, I see this lack or mirrors as a giant plus.  When Owner leaves the house (at last... only joking Owner!) she looks like the most beautiful Owner in this house, so why spoil it all by deciding to look in a mirror and see a troll looking back at you?? eh?? I really do love it.

Mirror mirror on the wall para.  now for our good offering today, Owner says to put this one on.  WHAT IS IT? I says up....and it is of our noticeboard......  OH, it has flown up there and I did nothing or de rien as I like to say..  Why are we looking at it you all gasp up?  Owner says that each year after Christmas when she takes down every single itsy bitsy decoration, there is always one left behind.  This year we thought we had found the culprit and it was the angel dangling from the mantelpiece BUT NO!  a couple of weeks back Owner suddenly saw the final one dangling from the noticeboard.  OUR LUCK WILL CHANGE IMMEDIATELY she says to me, and I am proud to report that at least, it has not been worse!  So there he is at the bottom of the board which is choc full of photos and drawings and such.  there is even a small pig dangling at the top..  We love it.

Final mirror free para.  Owner also has this to report up and it is that Landlords are too interfering and we wish they would all go away.  I DO NOT she goes to me, want to see texts from the Landlady, about anything.  I mean, it is never to say THANKYOU for being a tenant and a half all these years, it is only to pester me.   I wonder if this is why Owner keeps looking at other houses for rent, and now that Rug has moved in with us and hardly wants to go out now, I dare say he will want to come with us oh and Bertie Bubb.  If by a miracle we could live in a giant luxury home in the countryside I would say YES PLEASE let's move.  Until then, I vote we stop here a bit longer.  Tonight it is the very last Wolf Hall and this is sad news as we are entranced by it.  Before that we can hug up to Corrie X 1, and depressed no clinically depressed Steve and naughty Tracee who has her claws into Steve's Mum's boyfriend.  YES.  Owner says we are half way through this hard going week and if we take deep breaths and try and love everyone we will make it to Fridee.  I will do my best to be kind to Bubb and Rug but it is tricky for me as they are both potentially (get me) usurpers to my place at the top of the old tree.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Playful Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Ruggles has discovered his inner kitten!  Owner bought him a mousey which, to our knowledge he has never noticed, but I , being a kind and generous feline, pushed one of my jingly balls through the door to the kitchen the other night and GUESS WHAT!.  YES! he trounced it, he smashed it, he chased it he rolled over on it.  HE LOVED IT!x

Fresh fun para.  Owner reckons he was a deprived kitten and is making up for lost time.  Me?  thanks for asking, I am as you know busy chasing Bertie Bubb instead of balls now, despite warnings from Owner.  According to her, we need to SOCIALISE Bertie who may not know he is a cat!  So he is yet to discover his inner kit.  Have I to get him a toy, droned Owner to me, but I says where would he fit in this playtime beyond hiding from me, I mean snuggling on down in the Narnia cupboard or the land of Wardrobe??  eh?...Now lest you forget here follows a cartoon of the three of us. x

Cartoon para:
There we are!  Bertie bubb up front, and I am nicely in my amazon Box with Ruggles bringing up the rear....I love it. x
Final playful para.  Today whizzed by and it didn't seem like two minutes til Owner fell back in through the door, luckily with fresh supplies.  She babbled on about the little people and the wind chill factor and swiping identity cards and remembering door codes and such but I am ashamed to say I switched off, round about the button to get in the door and what a nuisance it was waiting for a nice kind admin person to buzz you back.  BUT no barriers today TICK and Owner lost the slow car in front near the start of her journey home TICK.  She says the nursery is home from home as it is full of chattering people instead of cats and twice as smelly.  I ask you!  Tonight we will hold fast to Enders even though it is full of people trying to leave the square or regain consciousness.  Good Holbee awaits and we must be grateful they are not operating on us and finally if Owner can stay awake there is The gift.  We missed it last week and it was good so you bet any money says Owner it will be lukewarm tonight.   Other than this good folks, the only other news is that for the millionth time Owner left the rice pudding in the oven where it lives once it is cooked.  It just means the remains of the pudding was soldered to the new ovenproof dish and would melt iron.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Monday, 23 February 2015

Freezing Mundee

Wonka here.   I says to Owner if we put Frozen Mundee all will think we mean the film and we don't.  I was singing it Wonka, she tells me up when she fell back in from a hard day at it.  I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO COLD she moaned up to me, as it seems those little people have to run wild OUTSIDE in all weathers and someone must be with them in case.  What I says, in case they get frostbite?  in case they enjoy themselves too much?  They all climbed and ran round and went in cars and on bikes and hopper things and had a whale of a time whilst Owner, clung to her two scarves, her woolly coat, her gloves and why oh why no ear muffs?  IN THE CAR with no name, she tells me along with the thermal gloves.  I ask you? I love it.

Very Fresh Para.  Alongside this freezing business, Owner has been a mother hen all day with a lot of busy little people, demanding to be heard.  She says she can remember at least one name and that is all.  One of them had hands like blocks of ice which she put on my neck she finished off telling me, and I have to say by then I was too busy eating my long overdue teatime to listen really.  Even Rug, who stayed in all day, probably knowing in advance it was going to be freezing with a good wind chill factor, even he tucked straight in.  Bertie Bubb, is on the new catfood which Owner bought by accident.  She cannot see without her specs on, and went by the colour instead of the writing.  BIG MISTAKE, and it must be eaten up and it will contribute towards more trips to my luxury tray than usual.  I must grin and bear it...(my new saying and I like it lots.)

miniscule and warming up para. final DVD review slot:
There it is!  Dallas Buyers Club, the final film watched and the best of the three.....It was full of more drugs, more people with no clothes on, people dying and people trying to live and was based on a true story too.  Owner says no wonder he won an Oscar for it (Matthew thingy) because it was brilliant.  And we loved it lots.  We now know about this year's Oscar winners and probably we will watch them all about this time next year. x

Final warmer still para.  so today has been lovely and warm for me never mind Owner.  I have warned her to dress up tomorrow.  The other thing she reports up is barriers.  NO ONE told her that she could be locked in the car park at the school, all because the caretaker likes to secure the barriers.  Eventually he set her free and the car with no name hammered down those country lanes.  IT DOESN'T HARM I droned, for you to slow up a bit Owner.  YES, she goes back, at least I was snug and warm whilst trailing behind all those slow cars.... last night we did enjoy our telly and that Casual Vacancy is warming up nicely!  tonight it is back to back soaps and that is all we can manage.  In Enders it is the AFTERMATH of murders and deaths and births and so on, and in Corrie, Callum is still pestering David and thingy is being a Mum to Katie and thingy much to Owen's disgruntlement.  (some word that).  tomorrow is another and hopefully warmer day for anyone, like Owner, out in the playground. I did say why not take a skipping rope with you but she didn't hear me above looking out back for Rug who finally popped out.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 22 February 2015

Soggy Sundee

Wonka here.     Owner wanted to call it sodden sundee but I said folks out there will think you are swearing Owner.  Me? she goes all surprised.....YES you I goes back.  So it is changed to soggy.  Why is it soggy you all wonder up.  As promised by the good weather forecast the rain they said would get here, got here.  Plus some wind and frost earlier on, and even though folks it is like a sauna in here, not to mention my good amazon box (and now I have) I have it on good authority (Owner) that it is FREEZING Wonka outside.  I love it.

soggy para.  For our good cartoon today, it is DVD review number two:

There we are!  Cold in July....And it is pretty cold in February too!  This was unexpectedly good, and Owner was astonished she had selected another good film.  it has thingy in it and we like him.  it seems predictable but then it lurches off into another direction says Owner.  OH YES I says back.  there is the usual killings and people with no clothes on and oh drugs but even so goes Owner, I liked it a lot and so did daughter.  Another 5 star rating from us because WE loved it.

Final soggy para.   NEWS ALERT!!!  sound of klaxons blaring and so forth...........  There is a beauty ol theatre called The #Futurist and Owner is determined it shall not close.  HOW, I says up all interested as it as was smack on my tea time, can it be saved??  Well says Owner, droning on about going to see Prometheus there (that pre Alien film that quite honestly would be frightening enough at home never mind a huge great cinema with no one else there) and it is like an old fashioned cinema stroke theatre hall.  And she says IT IS ICONIC Wonka.  Right, I says back eyeing up my biscuit troughs and waiting for some of those really nice dreamies.  I know for a fact Ruggles gets them all the time.  anyhow, it turns out there is a mission TO SAVE THE FUTURIST.  it is on the south shore, and even more important it features in our latest Easter story, Duffel again.  I have popped a coin in the Wishing Well so we can all relax now and wait for the magic to start.  I love it.

Real final para.  alongside wanting to save things, Owner is on fairly calm setting and even went swimming.  It was packed with other folk all wanting to get their lengths in so Owner did not stay in long.....they were getting on my nerves Wonka!  We are now cuddling up to an old film all about Sinbad and some paper machier monsters (that is not how you spell it but I don't care) there are trolls and big beaked birds and such like.  Sinbad keeps rescuing people and we love him.  Tonight it is The Midwifey and then our new best fave (after Wolf Hall) the Casual Vacancy which is full of druggies and young carers and middle class folk.  it has it all and we love it.  Now the good week is on us, and Owner is travelling to her new placement, a nursery, yes.  She is all prepared bar actually being there and I have hopes for it.  and her.  So do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 21 February 2015

Crash Satdee

Wonka here.  What ho folks!  YES it was a funny morning that somehow morphed (like it) from being AWFUL Wonka! to quote Owner, into ALRIGHT NOW.  first up, which is not unusual really and I now wonder why I even trouble to tell you, but Owner went funny over her hair her face and then back again.   Whilst that was happening, the internet went funny too.  Now if you ask me, and I know you would too, THIS was far more important.  It kept flashing up a message saying there was a Problem.... YES....and it was trying to solve it.....YES and would let us know when it had.  When Owner tried to close the little box with the infuriating message in, it refused to close!!  I did think of retiring upstairs and straight under the bed, but luckily for me, while the internet was refusing to connect Owner to anything, her hair and face went right.  I love it.

Crash out para.  Her hair went so right that later on, when she visited aged parent who was being fairly annoying (according to Owner) and watching 'on the waterfront' without speaking to Owner, she finally says (as Owner got up to leave) have you had your hair done?  NO says Owner stomping off.  The only good thing about the entire visit Wonka, she says up when she fell back in later on, YES I goes, showing special interest as my luxury tray needed seeing to and I was starving..... the good thing was I liked looking at Marlon Brando in black and white, in the film the may have shot him to stardom.  I LOVE IT.

Herewith crash free para.  as promised way back when the first of our STAR ratings on the films we saw with daughter.
There we are!!  the first film was as you can see, Monuments Men with an ALL STAR cast, but specially George Clooney.  We loved it, we loved what they did and we loved it even more because it was based on True events folks out there.  It was all about the second world war and how all the great works of art were shifted about and where they ended up and how they were rescued (sorry to anyone out there with a stolen artwork they don't know about) And now, Owner wants to go to Bruges to see the Madonna and Child.  We do love our art and such like. x

Final crashed out para.  last night Owner reports that she really enjoyed Enders.  I did say have you got a temperature but she didn't hear me above boiling the steam engine aka kettle for a nice cup of rosy lea. (TEA).  According to Owner it was Bobby what done it, he hit Lucee over the head with a trinket box and then Jane disposed of the body.  BUT Ian is not going to shop Bobby and he is still married to Jane.  Petah, Lucee's twin, however saw the light and was rather angry!  Dean recovered from his bonk on the head from Mick in the Vic cellar and disappeared into the night, and there was a proposal.  Owner says Corrie seemed a bit mild after all the excitement of people crying  and shouting.  OH I says up.  Tonight is the voice and it is the last time for the red chairs carry on.  THEN it will be live shows and live singing. perhaps.  If Owner can manage to hold on, we will be glued to Casualty and all the mixed up patients and even more mixed up doctors and nurseys. Auntie Charlie will smooth furrowed brows and give out sage advice as per.  Now what about the internet?  healed itself.  Rug is fast over on the linen basket and Bertie is back in the wardrobe after what Owner called one of his visits to my luxury tray.  I know.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it, and specially if that pesky internet is fooling about.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 20 February 2015

Impulsive Fridee

Wonka here.  What, you all wonder up, has Owner done now?  Has she been rude?  NO it is not that.  Bought a new coat, dress, top, shoes or bag? NO it is not that either....and finally, you all wonder up has she dyed her hair, cut it all off or had extensions.  NOT ON YOUR NELLY and I am thinking of hiding the scissors.  All she has done, suddenly and without consulting me, is to send in another submission folks.  BLIMEY you all say up.  yes.  I woke up from a small nap to find her all excited and going on about this agent with the same initials as her (good omen she says), that she suddenly came across whilst looking at something else (good omen 2.) and so she thought WHY NOT and set about sending it all off.  This just means she will be on a knife edge for the next 6 weeks folks and so shall I.  What is this 6 weeks?  Because dear folks the agent is a female, that Owner stumbled across, she is a highly organised and eloquent being and mentions in the CONFIRMATION  EMAIL that if we haven't heard by then, it is NOT a goer.  Or words to that effect.  Happily, it also says NOT to despair if you are rejected, and I am even now preparing for that event.  In secret that is, whilst saying things like, GO OWNER! and THEY WILL LOVE IT!  well as you know, I am Owner's number one fan and I DO love all her stories. x

Fresh and impulsive para.  Here is our cartoon offering folks:
There we are!  and that is me egging Owner on (whilst sleeping!!) and telling her lots of positive things.  If I don't try I won't win she says.  I love it.
Final impulsive para:  so today went in another direction to where it might have.  Instead of wasting time at the giant maze that calls itself a supermarket, or mucking around with her hair (only joking Owner!) Owner has been creative and productive which she blames fully on the planet line up plus the new moon.  IT IS ALL TO DO with Aries, she droned to me at some point in between zzzzzzzzzzz and my mid afternoon snack.  Personally I blame it all on the Chinese New Year which is the year of the sheep.  or goat.  or ram.  Actually if it is a Ram, so is the sign of Aries....perhaps Owner is onto something for a change..........  Now last night we cuddled up to a LIVE episode of Enders during which it was revealed who murdered Lucee.  As you know we ruled out Dot who as it turns out says she is guilty of disposing of her evil child Nick.  As she was being carted off in a police car, evil dean was trying to kidnap thingy and set fire to the Queen Vic Cellar with Mick possibly killing him.  That is two murders down maybe and who killed Lucee???  Eh??  Bobby of course.  NOT the chimney sweep son of Shazzer, who has vanished but Lucee's half bruv, step bruv sort of bruv.  it is all very confusing and we must watch it tonight.  Luckily Owner is still on enthusiastic setting and can last the pace.  I love it.
Real impulsive and final para.  Rug is atop his linen basket on the freshly washed heated pad which Owner suddenly had to wash and dry in the space of half a hour (that impulse thing) and Bertie Bubb is to eat what we are eating and not the very expensive luxury food he was on (more impulse).  Me? thanks for asking, I am alright and just about coping with Owner being round the home all day.  I look forward already to next week when she is back on the treadmill and cannot interfere overmuch.  I did say to Owner are you going to sit down and have your tea and where's mine but she didn't hear me above shouting at that new and annoying new quiz show two tribes or something very like that.  the weekend is upon us folks SO do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 19 February 2015

Feline Thursdee

Wonka here.    There has been a discovery folks of a rare Egyptian cat, that WE think must be Bastet, the cat goddess revered by all, and it was found in a skip.  that is a giant dustbin folks out there NOT a game.  Where is it now you all gasp up in wonder, wishing YOU had found this rare artefact; it is even now being sold at an auction house and may go for THOUSANDS.  here follows, a photoshoot of Owner's little statuette of the same cat goddess which lives in our kitchen guarding us against invaders and of course those pesky Vikings.
There she is! and in the background is one of Owner's daughter's best tiles and to the right hand side is one of Owner's teddy bear pictures and that is a bear called Rufus.  We love him. x
Final feline para.  Owner has had a lovely visiting from daughter and so have I.  We managed three films and there will be a star rating.......  HOW DID I MANAGE says Owner, TO GET THREE GOOD films.  Did I advise you Owner?  I ACTED ALONE she goes back.  it could have been a lucky accident as Owner pretends to read the burble about the film without her glasses on and sometimes the small print is beyond the glasses.  If she can make out the words Action packed!, or a Laugh out loud! or Million times nominated for this award and that award.  The decider in all of this is if she can make out any of the actors on the front picture.  if it is Tom Hanks TICK, Bruce Willis TICK,  thingy BIG TICK and so on.  the review will commence  tmro good folks....
Real final feline para.  And as for the rest of today, there is Live Enders and it will be revealed who killed Lucee.  According to more of said burble, some of the actors are mumbling their live lines and some of the actors have been raised practically from the dead to return for this ONE OFF special.  I predict thus:  Lucee fell and struck her own head thereby killing herself by accident, BUT someone was with her and did not bother with police or ambulances but instead whisked her off to a park somewhere and left her to it.  We can rule out DOT.  and that's about it really.  Last night we snuggled up to Wolf Hall and made daughter watch it too.  Anne Boleyn still has her tete on (french for head....get me) and so does good Tom Cromwell.  Owner is dazzled by him and I love it.  So, from this feline, do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Poetry Day Wednesdee

Wonka here.  YES!!  sound of klaxons going and buzzing and bells ringing and drum rolls - OWNER ACTUALLY went out.  All it took good folks, on the edge of your seat thinking DID SHE GO OUT?? was a sharp text from daughter saying words to the effect of, you can always leave if it is a wash out.  And the rest of my diary for today is dedicated to all poets everywhere thinking shall I go out or not.  I love it.

Fresh and poetic para.  The first problem Wonka, she says to me on her return, which was only a couple of hours but I did make the most of it - she says she had a lot of trouble parking.  And nearly gave up.  THERE Were NO spaces nearby she reports up and THEN, she saw a lit up sign saying CAR PARK.  I hate those car parks she droned, and I am not driving round them for hours to find a space and then having an anxiety attack about getting out.  BUT the god of parking as per, was ahead of the game.  As she approached the barrier and all the shenanigans of pressing buttons and gaining a ticket did she spy a space only yards away!!  First prob down, and onto the venue itself.  It was the Library Wonka, she continued, and honestly folks I was listening up as it was close on supper time - YES I says to show I was really listening, - I got upstairs and there was a big hall to my left full of women and one woman at the top with a box of something.  I mouthed through the door POETRY? and a nice woman jumped up and redirected me to a smaller room. zzzzzzzzzzzz OH, I goes, and then Owner?  Then, I trots in and everyone looks at me, and someone jumped up and found me a chair.  It all sounded like a typical Owner night out to me.  And I love it. x

Cartoon break para.  it turns out the other bigger and fuller room was for flower arranging, and Owner says we must have a show of flowers.......
This is an old (sorry Owner!!) one that Owner did perhaps in the last century ONLY JOKING! it is one of Owner's series of lost artwork that is available as a postcard but strangely no one has ever bought one.  I LIKE IT she says up, and so do I so that's all that matters up.  A bunch of Iris in a blue jug it is called.  and We Love It!  The flower arranging people might have liked it too. x
Final poetic para.  Did you write a poem?  I says up to Owner who was busy making pancakes far into the night.  I wrote three! she reports to me.  One of them, it turns out was about me TICK, one about her that is too dark to print Half a TICK, and the other was about our Halloween story HUGE TICK. How creative is that??  eh??   Owner should go out more often and she is to check out the Writer's Circle.  I never had myself down as that type, she droned to me, but as I pointed out, she does write, and thus is certainly a prime suspect I mean candidate (get me.)  alongside this excitement we have my Aunty to stay.  This means HUGE CUDDLES and the number one treatment all day long.  Plus a table laden with food and sweets and the film show.  It all starts the minute she lands and will keep going until she leaves.   And just a little poetry tip for you all out there trying to think of one - IT NEED NOT RHYME folks!!!  Better if it doesn't - and a fine quote from Fred Astaire who said 'If it doesn't look easy, you are not working hard enough!' and sorry if we missed out a word or two Fred. - He made all those dance routines look fab and effortless when really - YEARS OF PRACTICE!!  Now we are all filmed out and to go go SO do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Pancake day Tuesdee

Wonka here.  THE SUN.  we all woke up to blue sky and sun.  We love it, the seagulls love it, that funny little chattering bird in the back yard that we cannot see loves it.  ALL LOVE IT.

As soon as you like, pancake cartoon and para:
There we are! all the ingredients assembled.  Just needs Owner to make the best pancake ever.  I CAN DO IT Wonka, she reports up, and her fave is with sugar and lemon.  I might fancy some ice cream with mine though. Just a dab of it, sizzling on the top. MMMMMMMM  we love it.
Pancake day to one side para.  Actually we are still talking about them as Owner went on a giant trip down memory lane and I did listen up it being close on snack time.  The best pancakes I ever had, she droned, was at the Lyons Cornerhouse in London.  and that was with maple syrup and jam and cream.  IF, she continued, there was such a thing as time travel, I would put the marker to when they were still there and trot in and order one.  maybe two.  Now other folks, given the chance to go back in time would possibly pick something a little more unselfish and family orientated (OOH) and pop back and visit someone no longer here, or say SORRY to someone they didn't get chance to OR I love you.  But Owner???  back for a pancake.  I love it.
Final shrove Tuesdee para.  other news is that folks are all giving something up for Lent.  ARE YOU GIVING ANYTHING UP Owner I asked up.  Me?  thanks for asking, well I might consider cutting down on the biscuits.  I said might.  Owner says it could be the miniscule glass of red vino she sips for medicinal purposes.  RIGHTO I goes back.  Bertie Bubb could give up growling and I have to report up that it is not as bad as it was.  OR we are just sleeping through it.  Rug could give up.......erm.......I KNOW! asking to go out dead on Owner's bedtime routine.    It means she has to hover around enticing him in, and letting a blast of freezing air in yes I am tightly tucked up in my amazon box but really.  Tonight we are on the horns of a dilemma folks.  Owner has the chance to go out.  IT'S A POETRY NIGHT she tells me up.  she cannot excuse herself on the basis of (list) 1.  hair - it looks fine to me and to her 2) being ugly - she looks alright to me and to her 3) nothing to wear.  her wardrobe is bulging with nice clothes. 4) it is cold and dark of an evening.  She might have something with 4).  And will it interfere with the pancake making?  Who knows and I will keep you posted my shrove Tuesdee folks.  IF Owner stops in, we will bask in a live edition of Enders. WHOA and then Holbee where all the Doctors are cuddling up to the wrong ones and never mind the patients.  Go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Monday, 16 February 2015

Sky blue pink Mundee

Wonka here.  Owner has noted that the evening sky AFTER A HORRID day of rain and grey and just plain cold, went a calming and beauty shade of Sky Blue Pink...... I used to wear nail varnish with that very same name she informed me up.  OH YES, I goes showing a lot of interest as it was smack on tea time..... and here goodfolks to bring you good cheer wherever you are up in the Wold is a photee of it.
There it is!!  I says to Owner, I says DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DAVID BAILEY??!!   I love it.
Fresh sky blue pink para.   Owner is on DAY ONE of her half term week off folks and what is to do?  She slept in TICK, went out for essential business and shopping even though it was that horrid cold and horrid rain GIANT TICK and came struggling back home with.................. a new luxury cat tray and igloo for Ruggles.............half a tick.   I didn't say anything folks, you know what a kind and generous big hearted cat I am, and something in my silence prompted Owner into a fairly lame explanation of why I had been left out.  it turns out that Rug has been very messy during his ablutions and as you all know, ventured onto the bathroom mat at least once, mistaking it for a luxury cat tray.  This is why Wonka, droned Owner (is it a dissertation I wondered up, NO I did not speak out loud) I thought if Rug has a spanking new, two tone (mustard yellow with brown bottom) giant luxury tray we are ALL winners.  she even tested it out in the shop to make sure she could get the lid OFF and then ON.  This I can forgive, but a new and luxury igloo???  BUT YOU LOVE YOUR AMAZON BOX says up Owner, and if Rug nestles in the igloo in the new dark corner I have wedged it in, it will free up some space for me.  We are all, once more Winners!!  After a huge cuddle, a big snack and another cuddle I was prepared folks out there all feeling it for me, to LET IT GO.  I love it x
Final and sky blue pink para.  What colour is the igloo you all want to know.  I clocked it (means saw it folks) as it was carried in by Owner and it is two tone violet and purple and matches nothing, or de rien as I like to say.  But then neither does the bumblebee I mean new cat tray.  Other than this folks, we have got through the day nicely; owner is busy buying food and sweets and snacks and treats for Daughter's next visit on Wednesdee.  I will be spoilt rotten and I can't wait.  The films are lined up (three) and Owner says I can do a star rating for them.  Tonight we must intertwine with Corrie X 2 and NO ENDERS.  This is saving itself for tmro night when it GOES LIVE.  Can we bear the suspense and we can.  Now just a weensie snippet for you all on Owner's new crush who is #MarkRylance acting up as good Tom Cromwell in Wolf Hall - it turns out he consults the I Ching for important decisions a bit like we use our wishing well!!  and that is an ancient eastern fortune telling system.  We love him even more.  Now do go steady out there in this weather and in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 15 February 2015

Snooze Sundee

Wonka here.  Owner is proud to announce she has had a giant nap.  It lasted for over an hour and I had to wake her up.  WAS I DRIBBLING OR SNORING Wonka, she goes with one eye open.  It was right on my teatime so I said no to one and yes to the other............NO I am not saying which!!!! We love a snoozle...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz x

Fresh and half awake para.  The other week perhaps it was last week, and not for the first time I admit to thinking  where does that time go??  eh?  Anyhow, Owner had the car with no name washed.  And does it look good still??  YES.  Whatever he washed it with Wonka, she droned to me, it is still gleaming and I even thought about hoovering it inside.......personally, when Owner starts on about using a monster to clean up I am under that bed in seconds, but mucking around at the petrol station?  YOU NEED A HOLIDAY Owner I says up.  In the meantime here is our cartoon for the day.
There it is! sparkling away and perhaps ready to take Owner on a little mystery tour......x
Final sleepy hollow para.  We are watching Lady and the Tramp.  I have taken to it, and even sang along with those Siamese IF YOU PLEASEEEEEE, and if you DON'T pleaseeee.  Owner reports she had the little ornaments of Lady and Tramp and used to play with them all.  Her fave was......all of them!!!  She has always loved animals has Owner.   so a very sleepy day BUT Owner did go swimming and once more braved the fast lane.  All these men were crashing up and down Wonka!  making lots of noise and splashing!  That's men for you I says up, got to make a noise but I do hope Owner I goes, very nicely I thought, that you weren't rude?  NOT ONCE..  she says back.  That's alright then.  Tonight we are all relaxed and happy due to it being a week off and will be clustered up to Call the Midwifey and all the goins on PLUS there is a new series to follow it, by the same person who wrote Harry Potter. IT LOOKS GOOD Wonka says Owner, who is not a fan of Mr Potter but may like the grown up tale called, The Casual Vacancy.  We do hope you are all cuddled up and safe and snug like us today, and you have a wonderful and happy week.  In the meantime, do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it. Big Love Wonka x 

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Valentines Satdee

Wonka here. 
There it is!! Owner's brand new lippie from yesterdee.   no wonder she is feeling tip top and drop dead gorgeous.  AND most important it is doubling up as our HAPPI VALENTINES DAY cartoon!!
We love it.............xx
Fresh and loving para.  Even the trip to visit aged parent did not upset Owner.  NOT EVEN Wonka, she reports to me, NOT EVEN WHEN SHE SAYS I DON'T LIKE THAT to the new rug that Owner had purchased.  (not our Rugglestop we don't mean!!  we mean a warm woolly rug to go over your knees rug).  The rug in question folks, was a warm and soft amber shade (not grey no) with some stripes here and there and lots of small sheep; small sheep with little black feet and a black face.  I DON'T LIKE BLACK bleats I mean says aged parent.  They are sheep explains Owner, and not for the first time has that conversation about whether aged parent can see (NO) or hear (NO).  It turned out aged parent did like the rug once she knew what was trotting all over it.  Having a nice chat with the others (Jeff and Margaret they are fab Owner says) saved me Wonka.  I love it.
Final match of the day para.  You will all want to know this much.  Did Owner receive a valentine??  answer: NO.  She seemed to take it well though and says it is alright as true love will find a way.  I did say that it is taking an awful long time to find our address and were those pesky Vikings at the bottom of it but she didn't hear me above playing Bob Dylan's new CD.  it is called the shadows in the night or something very like it and SORRY bob if it isn't.  It is the most mournful, drifting, soulful, strange load of tunes we have ever heard and we love it.  End of.  Tonight we will drift along to The Voice and that strange line up of Judges never mind the singers they are all normal as yet.  We are not inittowinit BUT if our beloved Dale thingy is back as opposed to (get me) Alfie out of Enders we may watch and THEN it's all to play for in Casualtee.  Zoe has found romance again with her porter chappie and Connie needs some.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and me and Owner wish you a fabulous eve.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 13 February 2015

Lucky for some Fridee

Wonka here.  What, I goes to Owner when she was fully awake and I had my breakfast thank you very much, yes what is all the fuss about...............YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MENTION THAT DAFT FILM Wonka she interrupts me with and then I says which one (as there are so many and I have been unfortunate enough to watch some of them all telling us they are drop dead funny full of action etc) THE ONE THEY ARE ALL bleating on about she says up to me AND even good Christophe Evans on the breakfast show had the director of this film on too.  BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY continues Owner, who said it was the most boring interview of all time and she (the extremely well paid and boring Director) could not mention things and then did mention a plot spoiler.  BUT IT'S OK carries on Owner who is now working up nicely AS I WON'T be going to see it!!  When she had drawn breath, I finally says up: what is all the fuss about Fridee the Thirteenth??  I love it

Lucky ol para.  Some of us have enjoyed a nice day with no unlucky things in it, or if there were we didn't see them, or hear them. Rug was pat and mick first thing but Owner says she is not counting this in as unlucky.  IT COULD HAPPEN to any of us, she droned.  personally I think Ruggles is stretching it, in his kitchen come boudoir (OOH) and I would have a word in his shell like.  For those of you who are not sure what a shell like is it means ear good folks.  Now today, Owner has tried to book a new handyman to fix the non draught proofing on the good back door.  That is to say it needs some.  First off, he says he will 'bob round'.  Then he says he is a 'bit busy' and it might be tomorrow.  Luckily, and due to Owner's new and nirvana like setting, this did not matter.  much.  And when she fell back in with mostly essential shopping TICK, and just a few non essentials after careful examination I have passed them TICK.  Why? you all wonder up, are you being so gracious Wonka?  Mainly because it is bordering on my afternoon snack and snooze time, that's why.  I love it.

Small and lucky for us para.  here follows a glimpse of Owner's good luck purchase from yesterdee.
There it is!! pretty as you like adorning Owner's wrist!  it has been given a big TICK (sorry)and I swear the minute (sorry!) she popped it on her wrist our fortunes did swing up.  By the hour (oops!)We love it. x
Final full of luck para.  Today has ticked over nicely (doing it again) with Owner in such a pleasant come day go day setting we are now drifting towards tonight's telly.  After the excitement of Leo thingy in Wolf of Wall st, there is just Corrie X 2 and Enders.  Dot (Enders) is still on the cusp of giving up on her evil child Nick.  All else have given up on him and some are calling him a psychopath.  Will he transform into Lucee's killer?  it is all to play for.  And drunken Lauren knows who it is.  Will someone stop Max from being a daft old dad?  that is all to play for too.  Corrie is underplaying it as ever and there is no pantomime villain in sight.  not unless you count Callum and he is too handsome really.  There is Owen who is busy sowing seeds of doubt about his ex missus.  Even Anna, his partner at the moment believes him!  Gingertop aka thingy won't believe him you'll see.  Gary that's his name shouts Owner, Gary!  The weekend is upon us, again, and for some, a week of bliss.  With no demanding, selfish, shouty and mean staff in sight.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it. Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 12 February 2015

Way to go Thursdee

Wonka here.   It never ceases to amaze Owner how our fortunes swing from one side to another - the wheel turns, she says up to me, and I goes, THAT WISHING WELL is doing us proud Owner!  I love it.

Fresh and off we go again para.  WHAT? you all shout up has happened now.....  a good news phone call from the beloved agency offering Owner some future work with the littlest people going.  It is on and off for six good weeks.  I HAVE SAID YES Wonka, says Owner to me, putting the phone down and making lots of lists and notes in her diary.  Me?  thanks for asking, as I can look forward to a tired but happy Owner tramping through the door with tales of the little people in their nursery room.  And to celebrate this, which will happen the week after next (half term looms good folks) here is a cartoon of  a wet playtime.  Which is what happens when it is poor weather outside, things happen inside.
There she is!  doing a spot of colouring in...most of the children liked the fairy picture but one of them favoured the young King Tutankamun going hunting with his leopards and if they weren't leopards we are very sorry.
Final way to go para.  Owner has had a wonderful day and I am reporting that her setting has swung from minus zero to around 8 on the scale.  What you all wonder up has caused this swing.  First up, Owner's hair has suddenly and without warning settled into a good hairstyle.  It also took it upon itself to go a decent colour.  It just seemed to happen overnight reports up Owner to me, smiling and all calm and such like.  If we were in a film, there would be butterflies flapping round.  and bluebirds. Second up she had a nice soothing day getting up late, wandering into town and guess what! NO that is not it.  Third up and the best thing of all is Owner purchased a new watch strap for her best watch.  it used to be her beloved Dad's watch who is now in wood carving heaven, and it had a plain old black strap on it.  BUT NOW!  it has a beautiful pink padded strap on.  The man in the shop says to me Wonka 'it is like a new watch!' and it is good folks.  It looks like a dream on Owner's wrist.  and finally we have watched The Wolf of Wall Street (it has wolf in the title so it must be good) and despite all the sex and drugs and money, to Owner's amazement she loved it.  There.  A good day had and how we needed it.  Rug is slightly in Owner's bad books for going on the bathroom mat.  but only slightly.  After all Wonka, she says to me, he does that outside to let all the others know he is here.  I did say that was no excuse and I would read him the riot act from under the door but she didn't hear me above laughing loudly at the film.  Tonight unless we suddenly take to Emmerdale which we are not going to and sorry Emmerdale, there is Enders to keep us on our toes and then the plunge into nothing.  sometimes folks, nothing is good.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Walk out Wednesdee

Wonka here.  SHE HASN'T you all wonder up.  OH YES she has I say back to you all.  and here it is:

There she is! Walking away from a horrid job towards the car with no name patiently parked up and waiting to transport Owner back to Home Sweet Homeo......we love it.

Walk about para.  hallo Owner I goes when she appears with some shopping mid morn.  HALLO she goes back, and THANK THE LORD I am home.  it turns out that the funny place where she had been sentenced to do the admin, was (list) 1.  uncongenial to people coming in to help out 2.  cold and even colder when people did not close the door to (I did mention it Wonka she tells me up) 3. speaking in forked tongues instead of explaining things properly. 4. uncongenial.  OH I said that.  but it can go on twice as how anyone in their right mind could treat Owner like nothing.....I would give them a small scratch if they came near.  Now your main question is burning down the wire and it is this:  Did Owner's hair look alright whilst she was busy walking out?  ANSWER thankfully, Owner reports it would not have moved in a tsunami and thanks to the pack loads of product on it, it had gone a new and bearable colour. AND she did not feel ugly whilst telling the right person she was offski.  I Love it.

New and now what para.  Any plans Owner? I queried up from the top of my amazon box (I save under the bed for things like those pesky Vikings and the monster that Owner heaves round to eat up all the dust and fur)  A CUP OF TEA AND A CREAM DOUGHNUT she droned to me, and, get this, to watch the Lion King.   I did say it might have you on a crying jag but she didn't hear me above the steam train aka kettle coming up to the boil.  Will you all starve I hear you worrying up.  Oh yes most likely!  NO!  only joking, not while we have Owner's best friend the credit card handy.  and you never know, some poor school might take pity on Owner and have her back.  We live in hope anyways.  Now due to this good day being all upside down and hows your father we are clinging onto the tv rather.  There is good Corrie X 1 and all about Michael and his heart and Gail and hers and the pretend son.  ALSO, thingy's ex wife and mother of Katie and thingy has turned up.  Anna who is thingy's new partner is not keen.  THEN we can cuddle up to Wolf Hall and lovely Mark Rylance who is starring as Tom Cromwell the court wheeler and dealer.  It will all end in tears but we love him and we love it.  Rugglestop has done with his daily wanderings and is atop the linen basket and Bertie Bubb is back upstairs in his wardrobe hidey hole.  Me? thanks for asking, and I'm just looking for a small silver coin to toss in the wishing well.....  so do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it, and specially if like Owner, you have walked out of your job or some such!  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Fog ridden Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Are you there??  Hard to tell through this dank old mist stroke fog that has been lingering around all day.  I did say to Owner it was a perfect disguise for those pesky Vikings to come sneaking up the street in their big old boat and no one would notice!  DON'T BE SILLY WONKA she says back to me checking the street.  I love it.

Hard to see Para.  Now today has rather taken a turn.  Owner has been hovering on ugly, old and what is the point setting and decided to re set to ZERO.  Oh woe! you all shout up, will she be alright.  With me guiding and advising her at very turn?  Rather.  First off did she sleep in, second off she saw an article that was all about a perfect children's story with perfect illustrations that looked for a minute like our Christmas story........  her heart sank folks.   I did say do not on any account read that article Owner, as it may make you lose heart but she didn't hear me above clicking on the link.  Personally I say our story is the tops and that is all there is to it.  Third up, did Owner go on to have a trying day of it with students going wonky and everyone pretending it was nothing or de rien as I like to say up.  Fourthly, and this is what capped it all off folks, Owner sped from work to aged parent to assist with the new furniture.  WHICH HADN'T ARRIVED.  It is all alright now and Owner is safe and snug (if on minus zero setting) and drinking millions of tea.  I love it.

A bit of light on this fog ridden para.  Cartoon for the day folks is a recap of the new visitor at the gate....
There he is!  the newby, as Owner calls him Clarke.  Clarke Blackster.  and with all this fog we may have missed him and gingertop today.  I love it.
Final fog ridden para.  On days like this I say things to Owner like, we must count our blessings and look for the positives and think how much money you are saving by being at work all day!  She did dart home at lunch time and fitted in a quick trip to Spar.  That is the shop where she left her shopping.  I KNOW WHAT THEY MUST THINK she goes to me, plonking a fresh bag of essentials (TICK) down on the table.  They will think you are their fave customer I went back and yes it was coming up to lunch time.  Now tonight we have missed Enders and that could be the first sign of our luck turning, but are sidling up to Holbee.  There is a weepy programme on after called The Gift or something very like it and it might just turn the tide for Owner.  WE ARE SO LUCKY she will tell me through sobbing.  We love it.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and specially if it is fog ridden.  Big Love Wonka x

Monday, 9 February 2015

Gold Mundee

Wonka here.  First day OUT OF THE WAY! Owner is singing along with a chant about half term.  We are sure there are children and bigger children all over this country singing the same!  we love it.

Golden para.  What is all this GOLD you all wonder up?  As Owner was stepping along to her cubby hole stroke office for the day, and briefly out in the wild did she spy SIX MAGPIES!  And that means? I droned up when Owner reported up later in the means six for GOLD Wonka she trills at me.  Well of course we are still waiting for this and I did say to Owner it could have meant (from that famous song.  Julie Andrews and a pack of childer.  on mountains) 'Rayyyyyyyy! a drop of golden Sunnnnnnnnn!  As it was sunny today.   You could be right Wonka, says Owner who was only a tad disappointed.  Decent day?  I queried up as it was smack on teatime. A bit boring but ok was the verdict and that will do us nicely.  I love it.

Fresh and golden cartoon para.  for our good cartoon we are spoilt for choice.  So I have personally selected (like that word) this one.
There we are!   in keeping with that sign of gold, here is Owner receiving some good news via the mobile.  it is not often this happens and we are still waiting for that third good news phone call.......... we love it.
Final golden day para.  Today has rolled by with just a few things to report (list) 1.  Owner felt slightly ugly but Importantly, did not let this take hold! 2.  Her itchy eyebrows stopped being itchy. 3.  she has mastered the fine art of making a table.  NO not that kind of table, a table on the computer.  It seemed so easy Wonka, she droned to me and I have to say it was like a mild sort of grumbling noise in the background not unlike Bertie Bubb from the Narnia cupboard.  Which is where he still is by the way.  Ruggles stayed in ALL DAY and we think it is all about gingertop out there plus Clarke blackster.  Tonight we must touch base with Corrie X 2 and wonder why evil David is not standing up to that freewheeling handsome villain Callum.  perhaps he is holding out for something special?!  In Enders they are all building up to Lucee's murderer and Shirlee has finally packed Dean off to York.  we think (sorry York if we are wrong!)  Fil is still (oh that rhymes)in the clink and Shazzer's chimneysweep son is nowhere to be seen.  And that should see us right.  Now do go steady folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Film Sundee

Wonka here.  What a very lazy day we have all had here.  Slept in nicely til 7 30 am.  WHAT you all go in surprise!  Yes indeed I am very proud to report that aside from a tiny rumbling noise coming from Bertie Bubb sort of like a microscopic volcano about to erupt, yes aside from that all was peaceful and calm.  JUST HOW I LIKE IT splutters Owner.  she has gone through several packs of those expensive tissues and I did say what about nice cheap toilet roll but she didn't hear me above another volley of sneezing.  I love it.

Fresh film para.  today and once more I am even more proud to report Owner actually watched not one but TWO films.   The first one has been seen before and we love it.

There we are!  cuddled up to Frozen......beware the frozen heart sing the icemen as they strike through the ice and cut it and stack it up.  When Owner was at the nursery the other week, a little boy had Owner put the CD on and they both sat there singing away to it!! PLUS he told Owner she was Anna.  Bless you!  We love him and we love Frozen.   The other film had Jack Nicholson in it and someone else who we do know is it Morgan Freeman I says to Owner? and it is called The Bucket List.  I heard Owner laugh a good few times which is refreshing and we need more of it.  x
Final film ridden para. tonight is Call the midwifey and watch out for those nuns, as some of them are a mite giddy.  Jenny Agutter is top Nun and our fave.  It is always happy and sad goes Owner.  Bit like our lives then Owner I says up.  Now listen up to this good folks, but gingertop has only nipped in the kitchen whilst Owner wasn't keeping a close eye and chomped on rug's luxury cat food!  GINGER goes Owner.  and WHERE IS RUG.  I did say is a good idea to leave the back door open like that it is an open invitation to all those pesky Vikings.  I MUSTN'T LEAVE THE DOOR again Wonka she says up.  NO I says back.  The good week is upon us, and Owner will be hard at it doing admin all day long like the trooper she is.  I MIGHT LIKE IT she muttered to me and I have as you know cast many a spell in that direction and may yet cast some silver into the wishing well for our fortunes.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it,  Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Red Sky Satdee

Wonka here.  With no further ado:
There it is!  a beauty red sky to end the day with.   OOOHHH goes Owner when she trots through to the dining room for something else.    I mean I was nicely in my box, Bertie Bubb snug as you like in the Narnia cupboard and Rugglestop on his linen basket sound as a pound.  This always cheers Owner up so Thank you! red sky....I love it x
Red sky para.  our little diary is short and sweet tonight as I am behind myself and need to get in front.  I have all the usual checking to do plus the bigger task of cheering Owner up.  She fell back in from her rounds and reports a short visit with aged parent.  HOW SO? I enquired nicely up.  I am not in the mood, continued Owner, for being nice.  I did say no change there then but luckily she was busy blowing her nose and did not hear me. The other thing that happened up was that Owner who is blaming all on her cold SNEEZE SNEEZE blow nose....SNEEZE, left a bag of shopping at the local and very nice we like it lots, Spar shop. BUT I goes to Owner when she realised she should be unpacking more chocolate (maltezers) more catfood (Bertie's Sheba - so I don't care about that) and coffee, the good news is that she DID unpack her tea. a bar of Fry's choc cream, the bread and some fruit.  A good healthy shopping barring the choc I goes to her after she had found the phone number for the shop and spoken to a nice sales assistant.  IT IS UNDER THE COUNTER she says up, and she is to collect it tomorrow.  I love it.
Final red sky para.  Apart from Owner's cold all is well good folks and we should be nestling up to The Voice and shouting things at those judges very shortly.  Willyam is the lowest one in gaining his team as he hardly ever turns round OR he turns round too late and says he is sorry.  Then we will be cuddled up to the Lotto results as we are in it to win it and so is aged sibling.  Owner did not ask aged parent if she wanted a ticket as she once wrote her numbers down on a bit of paper to see if they were winning numbers, and as Owner likes to say END OF.  If Owner can stay awake to see what happens to Charley Farley nursey and nice Zoe and mostly conniving Connie, then Casualtee ahoy!  so do enjoy your Satdee night folks and do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x


Friday, 6 February 2015

Huggy Fridee

Wonka here.  We have ended the week on a very cuddlesome note good folks out there possibly experiencing the same.  And if you are not, we wish you were.  Howcomes you all gasp up, Owner is receiving hugs??  It is the little people who are not afraid to give hugs and Owner says it made her week.  There is nothing, she droned to me, more welcome than a little person wishing you a happy weekend!  I am quite sure they would have done the same for me if I had been there.  As it is, I have lots of bear hugs from Owner over her left shoulder and so secure I cannot lash out by accident!  as if!!  I love it x

Hugglesome para.  Just one thing to report up, oh alright several.  First thing: Owner went mad and asked for the car with no name to have a tiny clean up whilst she was shopping in the supermarket that turned into a giant maze to attract more shoppers into its lair, but as far as we know is fairly empty.  Does it have a monster lurking in the centre of the maze I wondered up but Owner reports she is using the word maze metaphorically. (that's what being in a classroom does to you.) but then said there still might be a monster.  Just watch out then I advised from deep in my amazon box.  it turns out the good car cleaner is all the way from Bulgaria and has to clean horrid smelly cars all day long every day.  I HAVE NEVER, announced Owner to me, SEEN the car with no name SO SPARKLY CLEAN.  And if that's what Bulgaria has to offer it must be alright.  We love it. x

Cuddly cartoon para:  We must end our week at this school with another of Owner's sketches on it:
There it is! The entrance from the front and high up in the distance the Castle!  it is hidden away like a little treasure.  It is an acquired taste goes Owner (have you swallowed a dictionary I goes up) but I do love the little people there.  Perhaps Owner will return.  I love it.x
Final cuddlesome para.  Other news to report up goes: Owner has sighted a new and all black cat by the gate.  HE SEEMED FAMILIAR she goes to me..And?  I said back straightway which was alright as I had eaten.  And Wonka, he sped up the passageway. She is calling him Clarke as in Kent and I know what I will call him if I do see him.  End of.  The car is out there in the street sparkling away and all is calm in here.  As far as I know Owner has not upset anyone either on purpose or not.  Tonight we are beholden to Corrie X 2 to thrill us and keep us awake.  Thingy is bound to fall for Callum as he is NO GOOD and the real father of Max.  David, who when he is not being evil is surprisingly good has been a decent step father to Max so is bound to lose out when it goes to court.  Kylie is missing and she is the real mum.  Because there is some rugby thing going on, Enders is not. Just when it is hotting up with post it notes on thingy's shoe with missing phone numbers.  is it drunken Lauren I wonder up to Owner.  That could be her name, she says back.  At last, the weekend is nigh so, do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Observation Thursdee

Wonka here.  Guess what? NO that is not it.  Owner has received not one bit of decent news but TWO.  We are even now waiting for a third call or communication that will set Owner off smiling again.  The first call was to do with aged sibling and is as positive as Owner thought negative.  I mean to say dear folks out there all scratching your heads and going WHAT? it was a good outcome.  I like that word outcome and may use it more often.  The second bit of positive news is my fave.  Owner has now accepted a week's worth of work (ooh alliteration which is what Owner's good class is learning- pass it on Owner!!) which will surely save us from starvedom.  I love it.

Fresh and observant para.  Who, you all shout up is being observed?  Not Owner for a start off. (just as well as she would never leave the house).   The student she is helping, was observed doing a lesson.  Did it all go to plan? I asked up prior to having some of my fave chick iams catfodder and never mind Bertie Bubb.  HARD TO SAY Wonka, she goes back to me, and she reports that she wrote some feedback for the student on request. I did think this was especially kind of Owner because she wrote it after 12 noon and as we know she is not paid for a second after this time.  But that's Owner for you, loving and giving and as long as most of it begins right here I am not complaining.  I love it.

More observant para.  Today's good cartoon takes a look at the Singing Mug.  It sparks up out of nowhere and sings this song and it lives high up on a shelf in the kitchen.  as such, it is a kitchen shelfie!

There we are!  high up there on the right hand side near the end is the singing mug. it suddenly starts up with you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are greyyyyyyyyy!  it never fails to make Owner laugh either.  After the initial shock of it.  and down at the bottom there is Moo. he is special and we have a poem all about Moo that we might put on here again.  There is a lot to observe in this shelfie cartoon what with ancient teapots and oxo tins and lucky cats from Paris and wind up cats from Clacton on sea....we love it. x

Final being observed para.  The children see everything and always note Owner's accessories.  They liked the dragonfly Wonka, she tells me when she fell back in laden with essential supplies (no non essentials, giant tick!).  The dragonfly is a sparkly brooch in pinks and greens and sets her top off a treat.  I told you to pop that on I droned with one eye on the biscuit levels but it was alright as Owner had topped them all up.  We all favour the rather expensive ones at the minute and I only wolf down the cheaper ones when Owner flings off out of it.  After the phone call securing Owner for a week's hard graft (I SHALL GO MAD she says.  just take the money I goes back) she spun into action and has ordered a home delivery from the supermarket that keeps hitting the news.  THEY HAD BETTER GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME! she tells me pressing SEND and CONFIRM.  famous last words I muttered from well behind the kitchen door but she couldn't hear me through singing to Ruggles.  It is a new and annoying chant that I could well live without.  Now tonight it is the usual prob of nothing on bar Enders...I know.  Somehow we must endure it.  Tomorrow is Fridee and the end of a rather long week oh I said that last week.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Misunderstood Wednesdee

Wonka here.  Owner reports thus:  today has been a long chain of getting it wrong, forgetting things, someone giving me the 'heads up' (Owner specially does NOT like this expression and come to think about it neither do I.  It is in the same realm as calling everyone 'guys' and ''regrouping', there I have said it.)  I could not, she moaned up, DO RIGHT FOR DOING WRONG....and after she had explained what that meant to me (It was dead on tea time so I did listen up) I got it.  It turns out that the school where she is, is just a minefield for all of this to happen, with Owner trotting gaily along without any warnings as to where the hidden mines are.  I love it.

Fresh say that again para.  it seemed to all start with the dread Mercury ploughing backwards through the heavens giving way to simple things being taken the wrong way and mistakes abounding.  I could have easily stayed in bed all day she carried onto me.  I mean I see this as THE solution to just about any prob or someone going funny because you said something they thought was an insult.  The children are at it all day long reports Owner to me, saying SHE said I said this and then crying for hours when really nothing was said.  OR at least not the giant insult.  I NEED ALL THIS TO STOP goes Owner and so do I good folks, because we cannot afford for Owner to be misunderstood all the time.  And here is my second piece of sound advice.  STOP trying so hard Owner, it does not matter in the long run.  I love it lots.

Misunderstood Para.  For our simple cartoon, is Owner on her first really good misunderstanding of the week:
There she is!  I always say things like, OH it will be alright, and LEAVE well alone.  usually from under the bed though or at the other side of a door.  I love it. x 
Final had enough para.  Alongside all the other bits and bobs is another theme and this is one of MISSED PHONE CALLS.  This one, is where someone you need to speak to but don't want to speak to, rings you up.  You do your duty and ring them back.  They are not there and you leave a message.  Then you check that they are really them and that was really the number, and do it all again.  To all the known phone numbers for the person you do not want to hear from. THEN, you obtain an email. But Owner, I says to her, you HATE emails.  I KNOW she goes back to me hammering one out. All that can save Owner from this relentless round of offishness and missed calls is Corrie X 1 and Wolf Hall.  As you know dear folks out there caught up in your own misunderstandings Henry 8th wasn't one to  dally about with OR give the wrong info to.  And if he made a mistake, no one must say.  In Corrie we are keeping an eye on Callum and so is thingy, wotsits daughter and Chesney's ex.  there we recalled a name! things are looking up.  Ruggles tipped over the water bowl and lingered by the back door for hours whilst a freezing wind poured in, Bertie over used the facilities and me?  thanks for asking, I have been a tower of go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Extra big love Wonka x

Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Three D Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Owner has reported feeling ill.  And? I goes in that new and very annoying way.  It's my throat she whispers up first thing.  So long as it doesn't affect my feeding routine in any way, Owner can be as ill as she likes.  NO I wasn't fool enough to say this to Owner and instead, I offered up suggestions like:  have a nice soothing drink of orange.  Double up on your vit C Oh I have started a list without knowing it. I love it.  sneeze, cough cough, slurp some orange drink, blow nose.  I doubly love it.

New what shape is this para.  When Owner fell into the classroom the student she is helping was even more ill than she had been before.  NOW, reports Owner, she can barely talk.  Having traced where the cold has come from, I can only advise Owner to perhaps mask her face with a scarf.  No one will notice Owner, I droned up, as it is so cold they will think you are shielding your face from the frost and such like.  I cannot talk through a scarf, she goes to me, and the children were learning about THREE D SHAPES.  Personally I do prefer a pyramid and this is one of the shapes they were learning.  Either that or one of those can shaped ones.  I got muddled up, says Owner, between a rectangle (2 dimensional folks) and a cuboid (which is 3 dimensional).  I ask you.  As long as you did not pass your muddlement on Owner I says to her but she was too busy sweeping up the new low dust cat concrete aka litter, off the luxury carpet.  NO it was not me it was Bertie.  I love it.

New three Dish para.  for our good cartoon today there is a rather good one all about Ruggles. NO I don't mind.
There we are!  Owner struggling up the back yard with two heavy black sacks and there under the bench is the behind and stumpy tail of Ruggles!  Up top are the good bins and to the left is the luxury shed.  And, just to the top of the bench to the left of Owner, is Baba's Buddleia also the resting place of little mouse.  HANKIES away!  Ruggles does not usually pop back in the morning as once released back into the wild he speeds off on his rounds but yesterdee he did return and blow me down ahead of a little snowstorm.  So he is now officially our barometer.  but we do not tap him.  no.  we love him x
Final 3 D shapes of an evening para.   Today has been fair to middling with no horrid mixups (yesterdee) and no bad news (holding off for now).  So we are in the middle of it you could say.   Owner is loving her hair again (thank you hair doctor graham) and does not feel like an ugly clumsy troll.  I did ask what was for tea but she was busy admiring her hair from all angles and in 3 D. Now tonight it is the usual dose of Enders and Shirlee has a glimmer of light about her son (for now) Deano.  he is not the golden boy after all (for now) and she wants him to run away to York.  yes.  I favour Scotland for running away to but no one has asked me to,  as yet.  Then we may watch Holby citee and the deranged doctors and less so nurseys.  After which I expect Owner to down drinks tablets and batten down the hatches ready for another three D night.  So do go steady out there in the Wold good folks whichever dimension you are in.  Big Love Wonka x