Saturday, 24 September 2016

Shooting Scripts

DO YOU MEAN STARS Wonka? you all whisper up to me it being the weekend and all.  NYET, I mean scripts and I do not mean a PRE scription (Owner particularly dislikes it when folk say script instead of "using the right word Wonka!") and I do not mean that group called 'The Script' with thingy in it who was in The Voice.    SO WHAT DO YOU MEAN Wonka? you are now all shouting at me and wide awake.....

I mean an actual script of when someone is writing a story for film!!! and popping in all the action for every shot!!! This is because folks, Owner is now supporting her student through a Media BTEC and will end up knowing all there is to know about a film script!  Perhaps she will do one about me.X

She has even watched a load of documentaries and dramas to SPY on every camera angle and wotnot.  There is a special  word called: MISE EN SCENE and it is a smashing word to include all the things we are looking at content wise in the film.  This folks has been the highlight of Owner's week. As long as I don't mention the neighbours (NOISE MONITORING ALERT) aged parent's nursing fees (THIS IS THE TOP TOPIC NOT to mention folks as it will send Owner crashing down on the mood setting) - yes as long as none of those things are spoken off EVEN from under the bed, we are alright and will have some teatime.X

HAS ANYTHING gone right this week Wonka you all whisper up (now you know about the neighbours...)?? it is hard folks to think of anything really.  our good publishers want and I quote "a more commercial" cover for our next fab story 'An Egyptian Tale' and naturally Owner felt wounded (like that word a lot.x) and rejected and a total failure about this seeing as it was HER best cover design they are saying NO to.  YES she has said back to them SURELY we can work something out and perhaps they will. I love Owner's illustrations but don't tell her that as she will get above herself rather.X

She seems to be alright in the job AND coping with being new and other teacher's can go a bit funny sometimes. I did say do you mean like you do Owner? luckily she didn't hear me above giving Ruggles a huge and expensive worming treatment that says it will slaughter every known worm PLUS some fleas and ticks on the way.  he stopped being sick once he was fed best chicken (thank you chick!x) round the clock and was fairly well spoilt rotten. ME? thanks for asking I did have some real chicken too and I noticed Bertie did as if he isn't spoilt enough.  I mean.X

IT is a bad week for politics as Tresa Maynot is still mucking around with our country and there have been mutterings about Boris AND that article.  Everyone except possibly a martian thinks jezzer will get elected AGAIN to lead the Labour Party even though it is crystal clear he couldn't lead a dog on a walk although he would attend a rally about dogs.  End of.X (Owner made me say that but I happen to agree.  Even more End of.X). Owner says she will never vote Labour again and I am keeping quiet.X

Thankfully Strictly has danced itself back on a Satdee and we love Anastacia and Greg the long jumper and hopper over heads.  In the Hex Factor they will be doing that strange chair swap and WE LOVE IT.  it really is musical chairs said Owner.  Corrie has made Owner smile once or twice and Todd has gone over to the darkside with Feelan. Be afraid, be very afraid.  In Enders, everyone is either going to hospital (Fil.) having a baby (thingy and thingy) having an affair (Kafee) or leaving the square (Masood and thingy)X

Now next week could be a vast improvement on this one so it is ALL TO SCRATCH for folks.  Owner thinks Mercury has gone forwards and I'm not going to gainsay her!! (get me!!X)..
Have a stonkingly wonderful week folks!! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 17 September 2016

Reunited out!!

HALLOAH UP folks and how has your week passed you by???

As you can see by our good title, me and Owner and all are reunited to shreds with other family bits we had not seen for a long long time. I have been admired and gasped over (HANDSOME was just one of the flattering comments and that was after I came back downstairs on the assurance it wasn't the pesky Vikings.x) and Owner has reminisced (big word for me this morning and I like.  may use againX) about Haverhill and Primrose Hill where her and her visiting cousins all knew and loved.  It has been a good week for the ancestors folks!!!
There we are!!! All visitors come to the shrine of the box to admire me folks!! UNLESS I have rushed upstairs and under the bed.X
DID OWNER have a successful birfdee you all want to know and are shouting at me impatient to hear about it......YES, in a nut shell or a sea shell it went by in a whir of cards and chocs and work and meals after work at the best fish and chippie in town. The cousins up from deep in Suffolk were entertained in style and Owner looked a treat.  and that for now folks, is the end of the birfdee season.  it will rear its head again in November...............X
Now what of those pesky no downright HORRID neighbours?? Owner went right ahead and popped in a formal complaint WHILST searching around for an alternative where (list up.x)
1.  PETS are welcome.  Owner rang up one good landlord and had only just about introduced herself in a polite and respectful manner when: "DO YOU HAVE PETS?" was asked - not, are you an upstanding citizen with a good record of behaviour at your property and with an EXCELLENT financial record............but, "WE DO NOT ACCEPT PETS.  personally I wanted to go round to this landlord and give them a dab with my best claw but Owner said TO TAKE NO NOTICE.X
2. The property itself looks a bit like the photo we saw of it. This needs no further talking about so I'm not going to.X
3.  The rent matches the quality of the accommodation.Yes.X
4.  Owner actually likes it.  This is the hardest one to match up and I do wonder if she will ever find our next dream home. (Bertie must have a suitable cave in it, and Ruggles must have a small outback. ME? thanks for asking I will need full access to the entire thing.X)
Owner is getting more sleep and says the bed settee is a god send. I know.  I did say you need your beauty sleep Owner but I don't think she heard me through falling into a deep much needed sleep.X
In other more sensible news the job is trolling along how it should with no one telling Owner anything UNTIL there is an offsted inspection due and suddenly she must have full knowledge of everything and ALL records brought up to scratch (I know.X) asap. or, as Owner's student likes to say AYsap.  This slightly annoyed Owner on Fridee at the last minute as she was flinging off home but I think she has let it go.X
The big news of the week politically wise folks is that Dave C has resigned TOTALLY from being an MP. We wish Jezzer would take a leaf out of his book but he has big blinkers on and WILL NOT see things as they really are.  In Owner's words: DISASTROUS. Brexit is still on some agenda somewhere and Tresa Maynot is still on about Skools.  the world continues to trundle on and we (think) are still poverty stricken like the rest of the nation AND are not blaming it on anyone EXCEPT Dave C.X
What of the GBBO folks and it is moving to good channel 4 next year...this was news on wedding cake proportions or should I just say PORTIONS. We still want either Candice or Selasi to win because we do.  In Enders we have lost the plot but lots of the square are having a babe.  NO not that babe we don't like her she is a blackmailing nasty. In corrie, Todd has stepped up to have Feelan arrested for fraud AND whisking his mother off to an unknown destination.  I did hear Owner say can she stay there as she is not keen on Eileen as a character as who in their right mind would NOT see through Feelan's wicked ways. personally, I say bring her back but quietly so as not to affect Owner's mood setting.

There is the final auditions of HEXfacktor to look forward to AND bootcamp.X
OWNER said I must mention that we have just whizzed off the final proof read to WONKA PRESENTS! AN EGYPTIAN TALE
and we hope NO PRAY it turns out alright and good folk read it when it DOES come out in print. In the meantime they must read the Christmas Story as it is IN PRINT and follow this link:
WHAT if anything Wonka, you all finally wonder up, is your good message for the coming week?? I say, go easy on the chocolates and think about your BMI folks.  Bertie as you know is on an everlasting diet (it seems to him) BUT it is paying off. Ruggles was pat and mick in the night and Owner said IT IS ALRIGHT HIS 17 ODD BLANKETS ALL NEEDED WASHING ANYWAY.......and me?  I do eat sensibly that means whenever I feel like it and have to maintain my handsome appearance.  End of and big fact up for the week.  Take it steady and NO means NO folks!  big Love Wonka X

(OOOH it is in paw slipped!!.XX)

Saturday, 10 September 2016

New Horizons!

ARE YOU ON THE MOVE Wonka? you all ask anxious as you will certainly miss me AND this diary if I do. The moment my bestest Owner in the entire known universe can manage the small detail of finding us a new home chaps, we will be offski.x

ARE THOSE NEIGHBOURS still playing horrid music and such like Wonka?  As much as I want to put on here NYET, I have to respond with a loud (I know,X) and clear DA, OUI and YES SIREE.  Owner has complained informally, formally and any other way there is. I have said, again in a whisper and from behind doors and under the bed - Owner, every cloud has a silver lining.......we could all end up in a beauty home. I ONLY HOPE YOU ARE RIGHT Wonka she goes back to me! I followed this up by saying how good her hearing was now but luckily she didn't hear me above checking the property listings.  Again.X

There we are!! nicer things like the Launch Show for Strictly and Anastacia  is our new fave.  We love her. XXXXX we will have to love Brendon too as he is her new partner.  I know.X
Has anything nice happened this week you all now want to know.  The new job has started for Owner and so far she is doing really well at it. Being nice and being friendly to all and her work settings are at least 7 out of 10 folks!!!  If only, she droned to me, all else could be 7 out of10 too.  What I goes to her, like that studio apartment you went to view, that was smaller than Rugglesis luxury shed OR his kitchen en suite?  THAT was a mistake, she droned back to me, and I KNEW IT WAS A MISTAKE the second I saw the communal front door.  Apparently folks, there was a barking dog (crumbs!) bikes blocking the doorway and goodness knows what else.  NOT SUITABLE for my Wonka, or The bubster, or rugglestop thought Owner.  So folks, more money in the wishing well methinks and a LOT of praying.X
Speaking of praying, our pal Owen Smith might need some of those as Jezzer is still lapping up his fanbase of adoring minions.  it doesn't matter what Jezzer says, they are clapping and cheering. I mean.  Owner has insisted she will not vote Labour if he carries on with it (Jezzer).  As for Tresa maynot, she is still mentioning the Brexit thing but not a lot, mainly just to say she will not be pushed into anything. (?) and has talked of having lots of new Grammar Skools.  Owner went to one of these and has hated them ever since.  I did say, look how you turned out Owner just as she was rushing out of the door and luckily didn't catch what I said.X
What about the telly has it been good this week?  over in Holbee doctors are falling out and falling in with each other and JAC continues to be as anti social as you like.  In Casualtee Nursey Charlie has an old friend to help him save the world and this is DUFFY. Out new comfort blanket of the night.  The launch show of Strictly Launched itself and will save Owner from many a poor Satdee night feeling sorry for herself and finally the Hex Factor has a few singers up its big sleeve. ~What of Dermot you all wonder up?  he is back where he should be as Presenter of it.X  OH, I haven't mentioned the bake off which was BREAD week and they all baked something Owner has renamed as STAMP NOODLE.  it isn't really called that it has a good German name that defeated us from the word go and it is steamed bread,  I know.X
There we are!!  Selasi was being DRAMATIC and giving it a good knead.XX
Now to update you on the birfdee set up, Owner's big birfdee is coming up this week.  SHE has requested a loving and peaceful day and I will go ALL OUT folks to see that happen.  She is to dine out with aged sibling AND two cousins at her fave fish and chippie.  it has all the makings of a good outing folks.  BIG TICK.X
Has Bertie been good this week you all wonder up?  Not a paw out of place but then I do keep up a good checking system.  Rugglestop
has been in out in out and how's your father all week long and today, he was outback facing down a dog!  IT IS ALRIGHT folks, the dog was on the other side of a big gate and all Ruggles had to do was give it one of his special Rugglestop stares.  Done with and sorted as those bruvverly bruvs the Mitchells would say on Enders.X
I have just seen a nice policewoman trot next door and Owner said I AM NOT SURPRISED Wonka.  You will all have to wait til next weekend's thrilling installment folks to find out more...........OOH cliff hanger. Now I want you all to have an enthusiastic whisker tingling week of it folks.  Tackle those obstacles with a tiny claw!!  Big Love Wonka X



Saturday, 3 September 2016

Silver Linings....x

HOWDY UP folks and how is your Satdee going?? IN FACT how did your week shake down??never mind all that because here is MY weekly run down starting with this one.

OH says Owner, who has had the week from hell dealing with NOISY neighbours and being poverty stricken.

WHAT is it Owner? I said showing a lot of interest as it was smack on T TIME.....x

IT is a letter from the good publishers all about Wonka's Christmas Story...... (pause whilst you all think what is this Wonka did you write a story and I say YES I told a beaut story and I let Owner illustrate it...)
Here is one of Owner's beauty illustrations from it!X

And here is another one!! XX
Anyway you all shout up impatient to hear the rest WHAT happened next Wonka??
Owner reads the long letter which really only said one thing folks.  for a while she didn't say anything.  Then.
NO ONE Wonka PERSONNE - is reading it or buying it. We have sold DE RIEN copies....
Are you sure Owner I says up from well under the table and ready to accept anything for my tea and even promise not to look at Bertie.....X
THAT's What it says on here Wonka.  now Owner is not one to give up hardly ever alright about once a week before she gets back up and on with it. I said lots of things like: they are reading it on (where it is free folks BUT does not have all the beauty illustrations....) so SOMEONE likes it. No amount of me saying this would help folks as Owner sunk into zero setting on the moodometer.X
WHAT IS THE POINT she droned of publishing it at all?  I says, so that good folks out there can own their very own special copy of MY story.  AND I says up (alright from under the bed now) some folks like to have books instead of scrolling down tablets and wotnot.X  and if you did want an ace Christmas Story it looks like this folks:
There it is and I am very proud indeed to be on the cover. it can be ordered at any bookshop and the one in the sky amazon. XXX
What is, the silver lining to all of this you all shout at me now?
It has made Owner realise that sitting back and waiting for other people to make you famous is a foolish strategy and to be happy that folks read our stories anyway - our new story is to be published soon and this is her wake up call to make sure folks read it as it WILL NOT be on Smashwords..... or will it??? We will keep you posted.XX
In other lesser news and on that graceful theme of silver linings Owner started her new job and she loves it.  PLUS it means we will not completely starve.  The telly has picked up no end and is throwing all sorts at us like HEX Faktors and singers who can sing AND make us cry (Tick.x) Strictly is back on tonight and it is the one where all those dancers are matched up with REAL dancers...rounded off with Casualtee and it is Charley Farley who is holding it all together in thingy town where it is set down.  We love Bake off this year and Candice is our fave this week as she loves her lippie.As does Owner. (TICK.X)  it is the Birfdee season too and lots of meetings up and cakes and cards...first off it is aged sibling and then daughter. THEN Owner.........NO we do not mention how aged she is especially not this week BUT (silver linings..) her hair has gone fab (tick.X) and I said OWNER you look beautiful to ME.
What of Bertie bubb and Rugglestop?? Both doing nicely thank you and looking forward to autumn.  Ruggles is furring up his nest in the kitchen en suite and Bubb is DEFO looking slimmer. I help out here by eating some of his biscuit ration. I know.X
Finally, there was an orphan elephant called special baby on #Ingeniousanimals this week and WE ALL love it to shreds. it had its own special blanket and we think was adopted by the herd. here is that baby elephant.X
There he is (or she? X) have you all fallen in love like me and Owner? and if that isn't a story that started out badly and ended well I don't know what is.  Orphaned, but saved and loved by the other Ellies..............X  A Silver Lining indeed. X
All of you folks out there thinking why am I bothering you must keep going and keep an eye out for your very own silver lining whilst you keep an eye out for more biscuits.....Big Love Wonka X