Friday, 13 October 2017

Wonka's Weekly doodah.

HALLOAH UP FOLKS!! now we all know who really heads things up in our homeo, who rules the roost, who mixes their metaphors and wotnot NO IT IS NOT ME of course it is Owner BUT, it must be said that my opinions and my input do count. YES they do.  for a small instance folks, when Owner says I CAN'T WAIT TO COME BACK HOME... oh no that is every day, well maybe when she drones to me how much she cannot wait.... and this week had a lot of that in it due to (one of those subtle OOH WORD bangs of a big gong on a drum thing.x) visits to aged sibling to help out with some admin. We all know that is death to Owner, followed by a trip to the dentist. worse than death for Owner.  IS SHE STILL ALIVE Wonka you all shout up? anxious and worried about how ME alright and ruggles and bertrude would cope on our own......YES, very alive and all proud of itself for not weeping throughout the extraction AND able to eat and drink straight away.  I know.X

 
Owner has a long and proud reputation of weeping in the dentist's chair but has finally burst through her very own fear of the dentist hoop!!! YAY!! X
 
You will all want to know that Bertrude has gone through her cat flu hoop, the most expensive cat to-date with just the odd sneeze and snuffle left.  I have been warned NOT TO GET IT Wonka! and so has Ruggles.  Seeing as he is fast over in the boiler cupboard and will only waken for some fodder, I cannot see him catching anything.End of.X
 
In the other big news of the week, Owner has near enough managed not to upset anyone at the college over much.  That she knows of. so she still has a job to go back to on Mundee and me and the others are OK for biscuits too.
 
Owner read it somewhere that Donwald the Trump is to visit our tiny miniscule island with his spray tan I mean his wife next year. Owner is sure this is to give the majority of the country enough time to organise itself into a giant rebellious crowd.  What I says, like that one in history, racking my brains for a name and I come up with Wat Tyler.  WHO? shouts Owner impatient now for some good solid historical facts.  WAT I shouts back.  alright from well behind the study door in a muffled whisper that she may not have picked up. Boris is still speaking on behalf of some of the tory party which is so split I am not sure which bit he speaks for, and as for Jezzer, he said on camera he voted to remain, but Owner insists he looked sheepish whilst saying it.  The body cannot lie she says. good Vinnie well we know he is out there somewhere.....X
 
In Corrie Reetah has had an operation AND is still alive and knows that Norris is Norris.  This surely proves her sanity?  Feelan is our Friday the 13th nasty - and cooking up his plot to replace thingy with another wastrel in that cellar.  His saintly daughter is to have Gary's babe whether Feelan approves or not and Eileen who has failed to notice her husband is a psychopath is on hand to advise. Enders for some reason has concentrated on Staycee and her madness thus stoking up Owner's inner demons- that and jane regaining her wits in the hospital bed with mad max sitting at the bedside.  thank goodness for the dancing and the singing - one small thing to mention though is Owner's sudden looming dislike for the new judge that is Shirlee.  personally I don't mind a few snapping and snarlings and that was just Bruno folks, and I'm sure she is still finding her tootsies.  Darcy is as purry and furry as ever.  We love her.X
 
I think this silly old diary went and published itself before I had finished my round up folks! but there we are it is all done except for Owner's tribute to the Dahncing - that is said in Aunty Craig's best voice!!  herewith is Brian and Amy from the Wizard of Oz, if I only had a brain and we love themXXXX
 
There they are!! One of our faves you see, along with Jonnie and Oti and Mollie and AJ too.XX
 
It is a big week coming up as Owner is popping to see daughter and grandson before they whisk off to live in the Netherlands!! near to Eindhoven they will be so Owner has promised to drive there when she visits.  IT CAN'T be that hard she droned to me.....I am giving all you good folks over there a good furry heads up and to watch the roads when she does.  I know.X
 
Now do go onto have a thrilling week yourselves next week when you get to it.  Pounce on it for all you are worth and give it a good claw jab if it tries to escape!! Big Love Wonka X

 
 


Saturday, 7 October 2017

Get the Autum Look!!

Howdy up folks and are you in the MODE?? What Mode is that Wonka you all whisper up not really awake yet never mind reading my very best blog. AUTUMN mode that is what.X

Owner has been trying on her entire autumn wardrobe which is made of bits of her Winter, Spring and Summer clothes. All messed about and layered and wotnot.  THIS WILL HAVE TO DO Wonka she tells me up (I was having a few well earned zzzzzzzz so may not have paid full attention folks...X).

it turns out that Owner feels fat and ugly in all seasons folks and I have my work cut out CUT OUT to find the right compliment. I mean.XXXX
 
 
There we are!! Now me and Ruggles don't see eye to eye on much (hisssssss grrrrrr) but when Owner says things like ' IS MY TUMMY REALLY THAT STICKY OUTY?? it is best to lurk under the table and out of earshot and everything.XXXX
 
So possibly folks Owner has got the Autumn look and I have reassured her that those really expensive boots that go with hardly anything that is de rien folks - they look the BIZ.XX ps it is too late to take them back she has worn them and squirted them with that protection thingy. Who Owner...I droned to her...would know?? I know she goes back to me and that is End Of.X
 
What else Wonka you ask me up, raising your voices a notch, has happened.  Bertrude, who is already costing Owner a small fortune alright bending the credit card then - well she went and got cat flu.  And, did so on a Sundee when NOTHING is opened.  Owner had listened to her sneezing and snuffling in the night and by morning was a nervous wreck pacing up and down until she hit on the expensive idea of calling a vet during closed hours. I KNOW.  we all may as well pack up our meagre belongings and get on the next coach to sconny botland who might let us in if they haven't divorced from little ingerland by then.  YOU DO REALISE droned the vet on call, THAT THIS IS OUT OF HOURS.  Oh yes she goes all merry and bright.  Off they go to the closed surgery and Bertrude comes back having had two of the most expensive injections they have on their menu plus a new cartload of needles and insulin. IS SHE OK you all want to know.  Aside from sneezing and snuffling and poking her nose right in the pilchards (they smell so Owner got tins and tins and I hate the smell of them folks I do.X) she is sugar dandy.X
 
Me?? thanks for asking, well somehow between Owner's mood swings which swung yesterday dangerously (good word) low, I am alright and fitting in several zzzzzzzzzzzz the minute Owner chucks herself off.  yesterdee she did a surprise hospital visit and it was a surprise as the patient was leaving for home.  IT WAS A complete disaster Wonka she moaned up as she fell back in.  The thing is folks Owner had to drive miles to get there and did not even get a cup of tea whilst there.  It was the surprise from hell and the patient's husband was rude to Owner just to finish the poor visit off. I LOVE YOU! I shouted bearing in mind it was spot on tea time.  And even Rugggles did his best to show some love by half hissing at me instead of full on. The moral of the tale is thus: try to get as much info as poss before you spring any surprises.  End of.XX
 
The really big news of the week was Tresa Greybot got a frog in her throat during the story conference I mean Tory shebang and all felt sorry for her even more.  It was all POOR TRESA it could happen to anyone and STOP PICKING on our good PM.  it seems only yesterdee folks all were saying that about Jezzer who is still laying low on his vegetable patch.  yes there is Vinnie but where??X
 
On the telly we are entranced with Strictly and sticking with our best faves that is Jonnie and Oti PLUS Debbie and Gio who Owner still not sure about but is coping with.  NOT SO Staycee who is either going mad again or half mad.  Either way Owner cannot abide it.  In Corrie Reetah had her OP and the Tumour is no more BUT it may have spread..... nasty Feelan is still on the rampage for new victims he is so nasty we hate him he has even crept into a care home.... I DON'T LIKE that storyline says Owner thinking of her own aged parent.  it is only make believe I whispered from round the corner in the dark secret hidey..........XX
 
Well folks it is all systems go next week as Owner must be brave at the dentist,  This is nigh on impossible but we live hopefully.  if you have to face up to something you do not like folks, remember to FLUFF UP YOUR FUR and look that thing in the eye!! Big Love Wonka XX
 


Saturday, 30 September 2017

WhoWee Debbie McGee X

Morning HO folks!!  I knew you would want to start your Satdee with a gorgeous photee of ME so here I AM!!!! X




And don't forget folks to find me on my FaceBookie page too!!
just follow this lovely link....................X

https://www.facebook.com/wonkaandmousey/


In other important news well nearly as BIG as me - yes you have guessed it folks it is that WHOWEE Debbie McGee! Did she go for it last Satdee?  yes she did! AND even surprised Giovanni whilst she was at it.  he didn't know what pasa doble had dobled him folks.  We love her and Owner says she has warmed to Gio.  End of.X

 
 
There we are folks!! Owner's first tribute of the new season and there will be more more more.  X
 
Who else wONKA you all shout at me impatient now you have got into the newness of Strictly - who else do you like??  We still love OTI and Jonnie P, they are a fab team and our top faves BUT we like a few others too.  We do like Bri c, we do like Ruthie AND some of them know how to dance.  Davood who is of Enders fame, chucked himself round the floor and Owner did concentrate on that one. ALSO Chizzee danced herself dizee (I know.X) and she is from........(drumroll) HOLBEE.  on that subject there is more folks.X
 
When Owner wasn't dashing off emails about this about that not to forget that other thing, she was clinging to Corrie (Bethanee is being taken in yet again folks - can Craigie rescue yet again?x) and Enders (all are crooks and villains and Staycee is going mad again.)and Holbee City.  Sosha or sausage got married but then her Dad in it took too many pills and ended up being brought back to life by Jac and then taking a job in sunny somewhere else. (sausage I mean.  her Dad was brought back to life not once but twice and said she must go! and leave him to it!)  IT all got on Owner's nerve endings even the one she likes has said he just wants to be fwends with his new chapster.  I tried to warn her by saying things like Ruggles just hissed at me! for nothing! AND I am starving Owner please feed me more of those seaside snack things BUT she would not look up and continued to be on a mood setting of fairly annoyed and irritable.  THAT'S why folks, tonight will be a glory fest of Strictly and Hex Factoring.X
 
Yesterdee folks a small miracle happened and the entire family alright the five of them met up for their fish and chip outing AND Owner said it all went nice.  I do know this for a fact because my best aunty (Owner's daughter) and best Uncle (Owner's grandson) trotted back for half an hour to play with me. OH and look at Ruggles OH and seek out Bertrude. I rolled over and showed off my tummy and it is not half as massive as Owner keeps saying it is. PLUS she has worked out a way to cart I mean carry me to the good vets for my annual booster. I WILL HAVE TO USE A TAXI she droned.  NOT try to lift him on my own.  I mean.X
 
Owner proudly stalked I mean went to work and stayed there for the right amount of time even helping a few students here and there.  I am spurring her on by saying things like WE NEED THE MONEY OWNeR and BE STRONG like me. oh alright and Ruggles and Bertrude we have all been through it and know what it is to be on the outside looking in.X
 
It has gone and published itself while I was not looked so here is the rest of the weekly round up:  Boris who still looks like a tory pm in the wings to all but the rest of the tory party who deny everything even themselves, is going on about brexit with marmalade and UKIP have found themselves a new leader but why bother Owner says? there is no need for one now that jezzer is keen to leave the E ewe and plunge the country into a state.  a state of owning everything. apparently this is good for us and means that the ones with all the money (the Rich) will be the same as the ones without any (the Poor). so no need for competitions or lotteries or working hard to earn more money because we will all have enough.  is there a catch there? Well Jezzer should be alright as he is cracking on a bit and owns his own home.  We still love Vinnie and those greens.X
 
Do keep your sights on the prize whatever that is folks, and never say you are anything else but PURFECT.  Have a big fat fun week  wherever you are and Big love Wonka X


Saturday, 23 September 2017

Autumn stroke Strictly Season X

Autumn klaxon folks!!! It means (list)

1. dark nights. (tick) (the blue dragonflies are lighting up our little outback still.
2.  colder days and nights. (tick) (radiators or as I like to call them RADS are already searing hot and ME, ruggles and Bertrude have no complaints.)
3. leaves falling down off our cherry tree. (tick) (no one PERSONNE minds this happening.)
4. The car with no name must battle on through it (tick) (Owner had slight wonder about whether she must check it for things - what things Owner? I said helpfully...like anti freeze things she muttered.  I did say are you getting muddled up with Winter Owner but she was too busy on a to-do list to notice me.  As per.X)
5.  The clocks go back.  (TICK tock....X)
6.  Strictly is BACK!!!! (HUGE MASSIVE TICK) and really the topmost Autumn fact of our list folks.X

 
There we are!! The first in our new 2017 series of Strictly Cartooning. We love it.X
 
As you have already spotted and noticed folks, OTI and JOHNNIE are our top faves, followed by Ruthie and Bri. All of this might change but one thing I do know.  Brucie will be watching over the proceedings from his new next room status and who knows, he may give us a heads up or two.X
 
WHAT ELSE Wonka you all want to know, frantic now, for some gossip, is new????  Owner handed in her notice folks, then changed her mind.  When she stumbled in early mid week, I did think something may be wrong in between (quite rightly I thought) mentioning how hungry I was.  I'VE HAD ENOUGH Wonka she moaned up to me and began scrabbling around looking at contracts and looking woeful. It is just your first week back and only the third day of it I said (also helpfully I thought although this time I had the good sense to mention this in a whisper from behind one of the many doors upstairs.) Luckily, after a phone call and a poor night's sleep Owner leapt up prepared for action.  GOOD LUCK I called as soon as the front door slammed to.XX
 
Well Wonka?? of course she changed her mind folks, she loves her job too much for that.  I do worry for the students but I'm sure they've got the hang of it by now.  Just all stay back until the smile reappears THAT is when you are safe to come out of the cupboard, water, or hidey hole.X
 
Bertrude is completely unaware of any changes to the household routine and has been sighted in the bathroom relaxing on a bathmat. ie sitting down looking comfortable. Until one of us alright I mean ME wanders in.  I only popped in to check the facilities folks but got a hiss in my face! I mean!X
 
Ruggles, who Owner spent all that time worrying and fretting that he would miss his jaunts outside, takes a 5 minute look out there and then travels up to his blanket box for a good nap ZZZZZZZZ. it is left to me, to sniff under the gate for those pesky Vikings, look in the little outhouse for any aliens (we are on the new film now, Covenant, and who knows where they might turn up)and then finally rest up on Owner's Dad's workbench. Yes, I am busy.X
 
You are now all restless for a quick summary of who said what and did this in the political world.  In the playground that passes for the White House, donwald continues with his playtime spat.  that it could all end in us being blown to smithereens doesn't bear says Owner. Tresa May keeps including half the country in statements about brexit on toast when the very same half the country don't want it didn't vote for it and have had enough of it.  me and Owner still think an alien has swallowed Jezzer and spat out a substitute. It has all gone very silly AND Boris keeps flying off here and there and blow me down saying daft stuff when he gets there.  CAN HE NOT WEAR THAT CASUAL VESTY THING said Owner when she caught sight of him in a hotel lobby.X
 
 
 
There we are watching Corrie! and it all turns out that Reetah has a big fat tumour NOT the alzheimers thingy.  it just shows you folks that forgetting things isn't just a dementia problem. Owner did start to drone on about aged parent who is a sharp as a button despite attempts to brand her as going down the senile road, but I had to dash for a quick stand off with Ruggles.  I know.X
 
In Enders most of the dead or dying except Stephen (the one who SAID he had a brain tumour but hadn't) are still alive. Shame said Owner when she watched a tiny bit of it last night. Mad Max is collecting people from prison and who knows who he will hoodwink next, and when Stacee made a brief angst ridden appearance Owner switched off.  Again, I know.X
 
We also clung to masterchef and loved our Ulrika but of course Angelica with two LLs won it.  She was a pudding expert and both John n Gregg adore their pudds.X
 
I do hope (and pray folks) that next week is not as feverish as this one was.  There is a possible planned familee outing. BUT the one bright speck on all horizons is that Owner's hair has gone right. This alone could save the students, the familee outing and make all our lives alright ME and my life easier.  our latest BIG FAT saying in this house is IF you fall down today GET BACK UP AGAIN tomorrow.!!! Fluff your FUR out and keep those whiskers bristling!!! big Love Wonka X
 
 
 

Saturday, 16 September 2017

TOYS and Aliens.

WHAT NOW Wonka you all wonder up slowly coming to grips with it being the weekend?  Folks, Owner has seen it or heard it or even made it up.....HOW can I be sure but she thinks there will be a new TOY STORY 4.  Are you getting muddled up with the Alien series Owner I said until she firmly reminded me there are more Aliens than that.  And she should know folks because she insisted, for a treat, on watching all of them YES ALL OF THEM in a film fest for her Birfdee.

And now, the first spaceship engineer to be slaughtered in space by said Alien, has gone off to the next room.  That is Harry Dean Stanton folks, who, in the film and at Ripley's request went on a mission ALONE to find the ship's cat...........the good news was that although he got snaffled up by the nasty creature hiding in the pipes, the cat made it home!!! This alone kept Owner keen to cuddle up to Aliens, Alien 3 (half way through this.  I have been watching bits of it folks from behind Owner's head on the back of my giant nest the settee,X)and the other two are lined up.  ALL in readiness folks for the newbie alien film.  Will you be alright watching it Owner I said up, you know how nervous you get.......I CAN WATCH IT IN THE DAYTIME she droned to me.  I know.X

 
There we are!! Me and Ruggles with our Xmas toys!!X
 
POURQUOI you all shout at me now, are we looking at this Wonka??!!  Owner suddenly challenged me on the extent of my toys.  ARE YOU PLAYING WITH THEM?? she goes to me out of the blue when I was nicely by the searing hot rad. (Yes the heating is back on thank goodness folks.  We don't go in for that extra jumper thing in this house.X) I have to say that beyond giving one of my tinkley balls a good bat down the hallway now and then OH and snuggling up to my ragged old catnip fish the thing I enjoy chasing I mean playing with most is Ruggles!! or Bertrude!!  Owner made me look at the big carrier bag full of toys PLUS the ones sitting next to it and everything.  Like you folks, just because I don't play with them every two mins, doesn't mean they must go to the green monster outback who eats up all the rubbish OR be given away to a needy cat stroke kitten. I will play with them I promise I said to Owner.  I mean.X
 
What else you all grumble has been going on Wonka?  Wall to wall birfdees folks where we just turn round from one Birfdee and it is another one!!!  and in case it is YOUR birthdee today then this folks is for you!! X
 
Have a wondrous day!! X
 
Boris has been here there and now is shouting about billions of £s and Brexit on toast again.  He has his adoring fans and he has everyone else who thinks he is a ninny.  WILL HE HAVE ANOTHER POT SHOT AT THE thorny crown of the Tory lot.  We think he will.  His Dad will tell him to 'Go for it Boris lad' and the next thing Tresa Grey will be in the history books and another farce will begin.  Back in labour land it has gone as quiet as a mouse and we do wonder if Jezzer is trapped on his allotment? perhaps a runner bean OR alien plant has got him?? Vinnie has been on a couple of marches and our beloved Greens are busy standing up for the environment.  We love them.X
 
PS donwald the Trump is still sending silly tweets off like a water pistol he cannot control the stream of silliness and silly people keep reading them too.X
 
In tv world we have clung to Corrie and Evah's big lie I mean wedding inches nearer to us.  Can Aiden, who looked drop dead gorgeous in a dress with a touch of make up on his stag night, still love her despite all the lies and that???  Reetah is still going bonkers and Feelan is still kidnapping Andy.  I know. In Enders as predicted NO ONE, de rien I mean PeRSONNE died in all the shooting and gas thingies.  Max has somehow been intertwined with all injured parties even making another attempt on Jane's life.  AS A FAIRLY BORING Character droned Owner, she is proving indestructible.  A bit like those Aliens folks.x
 
Now for reasons only logical to Owner she is desperate to get back to work and annoy I mean help all those students.  This means panic stations on Mundee when she goes into full throttle.  Me and Ruggles are sort of ready for it and will stand easy whilst she does her sufi dancing and eventually slides out of the front door.x  Bertrude as you all know, will not notice any difference whatsoever.we love her. X
 
Now do all of you go on to enjoy the weekend what is left of it, and a bit of telly that is any good to watch.  Owner will insist on the Hex Factor and Casualtee if it is not shoved to one side for a football match or some athletics or something else we never watch.X
 
wherever you are folks fluff up your fur and tingle those whiskers!! Big Love Wonka X


Monday, 11 September 2017

An Egyptian Tale!! X

Before you say anything folks like WHAT IS THIS NEWS Wonka!!  I am proud to tell you that the story that has been released into the wild IN PRINT last February is now available
on  Smashwords.com ....YAYZERS

 
 
Is that the one with Ramondo in it?  YES.  End of....do give it a whirl once it has completed its conversion thingy.  YOU WILL LOVE IT as I do tell a whopping good tale.x
 
 
 
See you later!! big love Wonka X

Saturday, 9 September 2017

The Birthday Season X

IS IT YOURS WONKA? you all shout up suddenly interested and pleased.... NON! NYET and nope.  No one that is Personne knows when my good birfdee is so in the grand tradition of Winnie the Pooh another famous animal who is a bear, I am constantly having a very happy UN birthday!! so it is treats all the days AND I do try to share these with the others.  I do.X

It is just Owner who has a birthday on the horizon and yes they are all BIG ones now, but that nice chap in aged sibling's housing centre thingy cafĂ© said YOU LOOK 17! and Owner has been very happy ever since.  Said sibling has had his birthday and my best Auntie that is Owner's daughter has had her birthday so you see folks, it is the month for it.  AND let us not forget that good Prince Harry shares his day with Owner's.  End of.X

 
There we are!! Owner suddenly decided to do a new little advertisement for this very blog. Pourquoi? I says to her, thinking what has brought this flurry of advertising on.  IT IS ALL ABOUT MARKETING WONKA she droned to me saying things like BRANDING and TARGETS.  personally I think she is taking too much notice of those relentless nudges from FB but who am I??  ONLY THE MAIN CAT that's who! X
 
It has only gone and done that silly billy publishing thing when I am not prepared for it as if to get me back for saying things about the adverts.  I know.X
 
In other more exciting non birthday news, Owner is still busy at home and not at work not lifting anything heavier than a kettle.  if all the advisors had said DO NOT LIFT anything approaching Wonka, Owner thinks that is a better measure.  has she been relaxing and watching wall to wall tv, boxsets and films.  NOT a bit of it.  Instead she went off out, saying she would be back soon and instead shuffled back in HOURS later with a new hairdo.  THAT LOOKS NICE OWNER I said desperate for some tea time.  I LIKE IT she said rushing to wash it and blow dry it and spray it into submission.  Folks.  it looks a treat and was well worth all those hours with bits of paper on her head.X
 
In the wicked world of nasty downright silly politics we were liking anna soubry but now! maintenant, we have changed our minds because she won't keep still about brexit INFACT she is keen on it now.  the latest hashbrown on it is exit from brexit and we love it.  Vinnie Canble is heading up a MARCH and you know he is our fave senior politician and that jezzer is bottom of the list.  he may be tending to his allotment we don't know.  As for Tresa Grey she has grabbed a few headlines for refusing to talk to someone or other.  Same old same old.X
 
Thankfully amongst all the birthdays and hairdos and non kettle lifting there has been Corrie and Enders.  In Enders there was a gas explosion which unfortunately didn't carry off the long list of characters that Owner had prepared.  We are struggling to think of one.  BUT a gun went off (don't ask) and shot Jonnie that is thingy and Mick's son AND jane was left to die in the burning bistro thing that is Ian's. Despite loving her to the bench and back, he did nothing to save her and left it to mad max to leave her to die in there.  Is she dead? is she heck.  last but not least, stephen the one with the pretend everything is now dead.  HURRAH!! over in Corrie Reetah has come up with an ace excuse for forgetting stuff which is to blame it on the blood pressure tablets.  like the rest of the nation Owner went to google this to see if that was aged parent's demise.....Feelan the big bad wolf next to that other one who pretends to love everyone but doesn't (Meechelles' ex) is busy convincing Andy who he has kidnapped and kept in a cellar THAT HE IS going to set him free!! Only andy believes him so far.   We love it to shreds.  tonight it is the battle of the Strictly and the Hex Factor with Casualtee sewn on the end.  We love it we do.X
 
Next week is the big week for Owner and my work will be cut out making that day a special day.  it means checking on ruggles and Bertrude to the nth degree to see they are behaving.  Can I help it if all they do is HISS in my face and put their paws up? can I? Ruggles is fast over on the blanket box and Bertrude did pop out from under the bed for her breakfast and a small spat with me. I love them.x
 
Now do avoid being the wake of a hurricane or earthquake if you can they are very dangerous and we send lots of thoughts and keep safes to you if you are there.  NATURE droned Owner, will get us in the end. Either that or that chappie who is playing with fire over on the other side of the world.  Now do keep your furry chins up folks! tingle those whiskers and pad softly forward in the week ahead.  you never know it could be the best week of your life!!
Big Love Wonka X
 


Saturday, 2 September 2017

Is it a Monster?x

Morning up folks and howdee up wherever you are.  WHAT is all this about a monster you immediately want to know.  The thing is, in this house there are lots of them.  Spidders COULD be a monster, that strange bug thing that made Owner go WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ( it was crawling along the curtain rail, until Owner spotted it, captured it, and released it into the wild to be a MONSTER out there.) well that was a Monster albeit (how I love that word.X) of a small variety.  but the big Q was all last week, for Ruggles no less, was: Is Owner's grandson a Monster?
 
There we are!!! and Ruggles would not be budged from his opinion.  for Ruggles, it is a well known fact that Monsters will use all means of enticement like speaking softly, popping plates of fresh chick under his nose, saying things like 'here we are Ruggles!' and 'hallo Ruggles!' NO NYET and NON - all these things in rugglesis book add up to being a full on MONSTER.  I am less wary me, and take it all in my striding hind legs.  I know that Owner has more to fear by way of getting grandson monster to make a move than set upon an innocent ruggles.  As for Bertie bubb, you've guessed it.  the worst that happened to little Bertrude was when Owner dropped her pot of reduced fat biscuits and it missed her bonce by a millimetre.  End of.X
 
What of Owner and her recovery?  She just had one tiny meltdown folks shouting at nothing (I could not see anyone.x) about her ability to cope.  I did say Owner are you proving the point but luckily she didn't hear me above her rant.  Once it was over we all fell back to normal and I ever spied her chipping away at her hair in the bathroom and if that isn't normal I don't know what is.X
 
yes it has been wall to wall soaps and wotnot when we could find them.  A LOT of things get moved so that a bunch of wild men can kick a poor little ball around a giant field but Masterchef saved the day and especially Ulrika, we love her.  Tonight blow me down but it is the Hex Factor returned to haunt us? liven us up? make us go funny?  You know that we are slaves to it in this house BUT Owner has said she is NOT OVERKEEN on Nicole thingy.  Owner reckons she is false beyond false.  Me?  thanks for asking and I do like Shazzer she is my fave. it matters not because we will be stuck to it all Autumn.  There I have said it.  September is a funny month chock full of birthdees and every year there is the worry about WHAT OWNER WILL DO ON HERS.  but not to fear folks, I have several hideys lined up!!!X
 
 None of those pesky politicians have said much and Tresa Grey just spent a fortune on a trip to Japan JUST to sip tea at one of their ceremonies.  Any of us good folk would be glad of a trip to Japan but OH NO it must be her. and then she must 'condemn' someone for doing something that any of us good folk would SEIZE an opportunity to say nasty things about.  AND she is on a massive amount of pounds to do all of this.  Hang on!!! Now I am having a giant rant.X (all Owner's fault it is.)
 
This week Owner span into action and has been talking up some of our stories all on my special FB page folks and here is the link:https://www.facebook.com/wonkaandmousey/
 
 
You will see fab photees of ME and lots to do with our stories.  Go to it!! X
WHY you all shout at me, didn't you do that before Wonka??
I only just thought of it folks, PLUS, Owner droned to me to try it.X
 
So after a very upside down how's your father week, we are slowly coming to..today Owner will get back in the car with no name and pop to see Aged Parent, her Mum.  HAS SHE BEEN OK Wonka, you all want to know.  She has been spoken to and reassured by Owner, that all is well and that funny dream she had (Aged Parent) about a big row between Owner and her daughter, hasn't come true. yet.XXXX
 
ARE YOU SAFE TO TAKE TO THE ROADS Owner, I whispered up to her from well behind the kitchen door. I FEEL FINE she chirps back busy doing all the things she has been advised to wait for weeks to do. You know how it is folks, there is the rules and there is Owner's set of rules.
 
Now just to spur you all on and mention that if you fancy a Chinese take away don't hold yourselves back.  IT IS Delicious according to Owner AND there is a fortune cookie too.  Owner's said this:
'You will soon discover your hidden talent.'
How soon, soon is, I cannot say folks but it was fun to read and fun to eat!! XX
 
Have a wonderful week, this first week in September, and look out for all the signs that the end of the year is approaching!! Big your fur up, flutter those whiskers and GO TO IT!! big Love Wonka XX

Saturday, 26 August 2017

Nothing to be Scared Of!!

HOWDY UP FOLKS! and how are you all this brightish, warmish bank holidee weekend alright it is in our tiny isle BUT might not be where you are.  IF you are basking in uncomfortably hot temperatures (I need to zzzzzzzzzzz after all those long words) then it is your fault End of.  Back here all is happening.X

 
There we are folks!! You recall I did mention Owner going into Hospital for a ROUTINE thingy wotsit?? Well it has happened and she is back home and already (this is how I know Owner is on the mend) her and my beloved Auntie that is Owner's daughter ARE ON EACH OTHER'S NERVES.  but in the meantime Owner has some very important Hospital tips if you ever have to pop into hospital yourselves.  I mean I know all about this from the Vets, when they say OH YES he can have a 2 week really expensive injection but NO ONE Personne, says alright Wonka you will feel a tiny scratch do they?? there is no warning about any of it, including taking temperatures either.  herewith Owner's helpful List:
 
 
1.  Take their advice ONLY when it suits you, it feels alrightish, you like them.  if you cannot say YES SIRREE to any of them then do not take the advice just follow your own.
 
2.  The all important instruction to RELAX.  this is only ever issued when you are about to experience pain, or feel horrid, or be uncomfortable.  On no account relax, do stiffen up every muscle and get tensed up ready for the horrid pain.  Scream loudly at will and ignore the nasty nurse who is ready for retirement and should not be there anymore.
 
3. Hospital is NOT A PRISON.  if you cannot escape as early as you would like and you have exhausted every known escape route - befriending a nurse, paying deep respect to the Doctors, pouring the evidence away down the loo if you think they won't like it - then simply sign yourself out.  Even though you will be made to feel a silly billy who is risking their life by doing it.  you know, it is only to save them a giant law suit when you die ten mins after getting in the taxi home.
 
4.  laughter really is the best medicine and I'm pleased to say Owner has laughed out loud albeit ironically on a number of occasions now.  This reassures me, Ruggles and Bertie that normal service is nearly resumed.
 
 
5.  Last but not least, if the only real bit of advice is not to lift anything heavier than a kettle it does mean not lifting me up.  I take umbrage (get me! X) at being described as the side of a house by Owner but I can outdo a kettle any day.X
 
 
All of this means the silly season is still on FULL POWER and we must watch end to end boxsets, bad films and wotnot. Owner has kept up with Corrie, ignored Enders mostly for fear it will undo all the good work of the hospital and even defy lifting a kettle.  There is much to look forward to as the Hex Factor is back and Autumn beckons not to mention the birthday of nearly all in the family. I know.X
 
There is still no real news from Tresa Grey or Jezzer except he has popped up at  a few rallies but it may be his double anyway.  As for Vinnie we still have high hopes.  Donwald the Trump continues his childlike grasp of heavy duty politics by simply doing away with stuff he doesn't like or not eating it.X
 
Now it is the last week of August when people are still GOING ON HOLIDEE and such like.  Give it a week or so and then September beams down with all the reason and sense we will need for the run up to...................nearly said it but changed my mind folks. XX
 
Bertie continues to cost a fortune and Ruggles is enjoying his days like the senior citizen he is.  Me?? thanks for asking and just about coping with Owner's efforts to rest. (not going to happen) and relax (???) so just to say folks, go and have a beauty week full of sweets and films and good things and whatever you do, get that fur combed!  Look nice and be nice!!  Big Love Wonka X


Saturday, 19 August 2017

Good Game Good Game!

We are not talking football or tennis or beloved Snookerooni folks we are talking BRUCIE Forsyth who has now moved into the next room.  89 years he did spend on this earth and for most of it, entertaining us poor folks addled in our wits and needing some fun and laughter to sort it!! herewith Owner's weensy tribute to him:
 
 
There we are!  and we hope he is still on his toes as his TAP was pretty neat.X
 
 
In other news the week has shuddered on with all its usual emails not getting there and turning back up. WHAT IS THE POINT! shouts Owner and I did say have you tried that old fashioned way that is called sending a letter but luckily she didn't hear me about bashing out a letter.  I WILL HAVE TO HANDPOST IT! she shrieks to me and moaning about the silly old directions that the laptop coughs up.  it turns out that where the email didn't get to is only 7 mins away as the crow flies.  I know.X
 


I have only had one or two ALRIGHT three or four spats with ruggles and none with Bertrude but that is because Owner reckons Bertrude cannot see much. Last night she went over to her miniscule pink teddy bear and sniffed it.  Owner was very much encouraged by this outburst of activity as Bertrude rarely does much.  other than eating sleepin and the other.  I make up for this of course by being all over the house and now out as well checking all the hollows and dark places, I even went into the little outhouse thingy wotsit and had Owner on the run! THERE YOU ARE Wonka! she said after half an hour searching for me and nearly printing out a load of WONKA IS MISSING Posters.I mean X

IS THE WINDOW FIXED? you all wake up and want to know.  Nothing, DE RIEN, is that simple in this house folks and you might know that the old window resisted being taken out quite strongly, and is now replaced with a piece of board with holes in it so we can all breath BUT the new window cannot be popped into place just yet.  WHY IS THAT WONKA? you now ask.  And surely you know the answer.......................
The Joiner is going on HOLIDAY.  It is AUGUST and every second person in the known world is doing it.  Except Owner.X

The telly has been on as per and we have clung to Corrie and Rita  going wonky now which folks, I tell you, is too close to home for Owner what with Aged Parent and having to fend off an entire NHS system (Can Owner do it? if anyone can, she can.X) BUT because of this wonkiness Rita has accused our fave Gemma of a crime her horrid mates carried out!! it is alright, Rita has come back round but will their relationship survive! But the real twist of the night was that horrid Feelan has been keeping Andy a prisoner instead of murdering him!!! he is held in a cellar somewhere! Back in Enders Fil has gone mad and revealed to thingy that he murdered his Dad in the KARLOT.  Owner may rename it SALEM'S LOT now.  Anything folks to keep her smiling and not attacking the telly when Stacee appears or WITNEE behind that bar.X

In the wicked world of politics Donwald the Trump is still the president but perhaps the best way to end this is simply for all his cabinet thingy to resign get sacked go sick or go on holidee.  That way he really might be the last man standing.  Who knows eh.  Tresa Grey may or may not be back off her trekking hols she does cheep up with the odd comment mildly condemning what other folks are all shouting and dying for.  jezzer is still on his health farm or allotment making jam while the sun shines. We love Vinnie Cable whatever he is doing.  he can do no wrong at the minute.X

Owner tells me daughter is coming through for a few days and this would explain the flurry of activity in the fridge and in the spare bed dept.  And the cleaning and monster dept too. They are planning on a giant DVD fest and sweets and that.  anything folks to cheer that Owner up I'm all for it. THE IMPACT when things go wrong folks is hard to bear BUT I do have several hideys. PLUS blending in with the carpet that Owner doesn't like too.X

Now the coming week might be a trifle up and down as Owner is having to attend a hospital for what she describes merrily as ROUTINE Wonka.  she should go in and come out very swiftly and I won't notice. She says. What I do expect is to be spoilt rotten by my auntie before during and after.  End of.X

it is raining here after a beauty week of sunny shine and the best news of the week is guess what folks?? NO that is not it. it was that the Car with No Name went and passed its MOT that's what and one less thing for Owner to drone on about.  It is alright for now Wonka she said up!  Do go on and pass all your MOTs and EMAILS getting to their destinations and if you are going through a hard time of it, think of US, because our time of it is harder folks.
alright the same then! Keep your purring positive and look friendly!! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 12 August 2017

Silly Billy Season

IT IS AUGUST as if we did not know this screeched Owner to me!!  There are now two stock answers for all know problems.  Excuses rolled out to explain everything that IS GOING WRONG.

What are they Wonka? you all shout at me anxious to know.  herewith:

1.  YOU MOTHER IS EIGHTYSIX YOU KNOW...... this remark is guaranteed (spelling!! good use of word!! X) to get Owner's mood setting from round about 2 to 3 to TEN in seconds folks.  she is dribbling at the mouth saying things like ' WELL I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!' and 'AND??????? £$%*****^%$££ .  This answers practically any questions Owner may put forward EVEN IF it is not relevant.

2.  IT IS AUGUST YOU KNOW..... this one explains why joiners cannot be found for love nor money and specially not by Owner's landlord. Again, more dribbling at the mouth when Owner says it is over a month ago that she first (nicely folks X) put in a request for a straightforward job to fix a window.  Is it fixed folks??? well it is August you know..............(the whole universe and all joiners are on holiday. or sick. or just not there.X)

 
Here we are !!! It is that nice Larry cat from Number 10 with a postcard from thingy.  she is on some trotting around holidee BECAUSE IT IS AUGUST. X
 
 
Now all these frets and worries to one side how is Owner bearing up you all wonder to me?  You will be pleased to know the latest complaint is filed away AND a series of appointments, ALL UNECESSARY Wonka, to aged parent have been cancelled.  IT IS ALRIGHT for them, she moaned up to me, TO GO SICK and change appointments - she did say more than that folks, but she didn't notice I had popped upstairs to my secret hidey and I cannot hear anything once I am there.X  YES SHE IS FINE and her mood setting is approx. 4 -5.  End of X
 
Listen to this though Folks!!! Owner set off yesterdee determined to spend some money (alright dust down the credit card X) BUT CAME BACK with de rien!!  I didn't like the rugs she goes to me (for the front room which no one PeRSONNE ever goes in) AND I could not find what I wanted in the charity shop.  This rarely happens folks and today may be different.  I did say do we really need an expensive rug but she may not have heard me above changing the facilities.  NO it was not me it was Bertrude.X
 
Ruggles barely says a word these days and I think in his head he has gone on a long holiday.  Infact in aged parent language it is his age.  Since Owner found a nice soft blanket for him (it was Diva's, Owner's beloved dog of yore,X) and laid it down in the kitchen he has loved it.  I did say what about me but quickly agreed with Owner that I do have millions alright a fair few resting up spots on each level of our new home.X  PS Bertude is sugar dandy and is either going blind or deaf or both of them as she hardly noticed when I glided by her and ate most of her very expensive biscuits up.X
 
What then, you all shout at me HAS KEPT US going and kept Owner's chin up??  A nice phone call with cousin did help folks, where they both moaned to each other and laughed.  This is said cousin she is the biz AND Owner will have a break away later on this year.  I am already making plans for a very spoilt time of it!
 



There she is!! and who knows folks, she could even visit us! (it is August.X)

Now there has been more huffing and puffing from Donwald the Trump who cannot stop himself.  Back here, there is still the mantle of silence except from silly billy Kipper party who are busy deciding what horrid platform to sell their next political wares from AND who is to head them up!!! We still love Vinnie the Cable in this house. X

On the telly at the minute folks is The Stand.  WHAT IS THAT Wonka? you all say frightened you are missing a new boxset. NYET!  it is a Stephen King story from a zillion years ago BUT we are loving it.  it is about the end of the world well for the US of A then and all the survivors are headed to a jolly old black grandma Abigail in the styx and opposite a giant cornfield.  it is the BIZZ.  Aside from this we clung to Animal Rescue Live with good supervet, and those 10 puppies too.  it has been I am pleased to say a very animal loving week here and even the aged parent tuned in despite being 86.  I know.X

Time to have a brief look ahead to the coming week folks.  Owner is all geared up for MORE DAFT EXCUSES and will turn the tables with a few of her own. ME? thanks for asking, hoping to enjoy a few zzzzzzzzzzzz on the workbench outback in the sunnyshine if there is some (IT is AUGUST.X) Big Love Wonka XX PS here I am doing just that X

Saturday, 5 August 2017

RHUBARB!

DO YOU MEAN THAT NICE Rhubarb that comes in a crumble with custard Wonka?  NYET!!!

This is the word that I have persuaded Owner to use when referring to(BIG LIST Folks.X)
1.  anyone in authority that thinks they know all about aged parent.
2.  anyone in or out of authority that want to LEAVE the EEEWE. aka the EU.
3.  anyone calling up and saying it is alright we are not a scamming phony person we are authentic. (Owner immediately blocks them.  she loves blocking.X)
4. anyone delivering anything to the wrong address when Owner is in and waiting.
5. anyone this week.X

 
There we are!! This is saving Owner from going potty!! and it is Pedro from the new thingy on Beeb 2 about puppies AND their new homes.X


What has saved this household from going bonkers?  there is a nice new series on the telly called Letterbox which Owner has clung to nicely, only wavering for a moment when that over the top presenter Mel declared AGAINST cats.  Did this stop Owner from making comments and posting stuff on twitter?? NYET.  She even created a beauty cartoon to celebrate the letter AITCH.  This kept Owner quiet for 2 minutes as did 10 Pupsters and US.  We love Jura who will be a champ rescue dog in the highlands of sconny botland AND we love Poppy and Pedro.

 
There is brave and talented rescue dog to be JURA!! and Owner is a busy beelet drawing Poppy for next week!! X


Bertrude has pleased the Vet.  HOWCOME you all shout at me interested at last in what I am on about.  She was trundled to the vets yesterdee with a sample of you know what and it turns out she can stick to THREE UNITS of insulin now.  I AM PLEASED said the Vet.  of course Owner was in too much of a daze from the next round of meetings about aged parent to take much in.  ARE YOU? she says.  I did wonder whether the supposed creeping onset of dementia they all reckon is sweeping over aged parent is spreading a small tentacle towards Owner.  RHUBARB Wonka! she shouted at me so I didn't mention it after all.X

In the political world nothing DE RIEN has happened.  Donwald the Trump is still being a pretend president and everyone isn't pretending that he is. Any good that is.  personally I blame the same set of people who all went and voted LEAVE instead of REMAIN.  Owner shouted that word again followed by a sheep noise.  As far as we know Jezzer still hasn't gone on holidee in Venezuela or Israel or any other contentious fighty old country.  HE COULD BE ON A RETREAT muttered Owner OR on a health farm OR just behind a closed door at home.  Vinnie Cable our new bestest has gone quiet and he could be on holidee too.X

Also on the telly Owner had to turn off Enders as she said THATS RHUBARB or words to the effect when FIL went to rescue LOO from her mad mother. It was hard for a moment to pick out the mad one and even Shazzer was in the running.  They are all in hospital (again) til next week.  thankfully in Corrie good Steve Macdonald who has married everyone in the street and had a babe with them proposed to LEEANN and she said YES.  Almost as heartwarming as Norrice and Mary.  There were however TWO yes TWO dark moments, as FEELAN went to confess to all those murders in a proper confessional boxy thing AND thingy who was married to Steve but is now with wotsit ended up in the boot of a car...I know.  nailbiting or wot.X

Wot with Vet visits and aged parent visits and planning for daughter coming to stay.  OOH.  that has meant a lot of staring at products in the maze like supermarket to check it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with animals in it.  Owner found a person staring at the frozen cabinet and tried to help.  IT IS MY GRANDAUGHTER goes the woman, SHE IS NOW VEGAN.   I KNOW says Owner wisely and then they both stare together.  I know.X and I really do know.XX  So far Owner has enough cheese to feed a parcel of mice and a bag of skittles.  End of.X

Now can next week slow down a bit please AND NOT have any fraught rhubarb meetings.  On the good side Owner bought a pinafore dress and looks the biz in it.  I LIKE THIS A LOT Wonka she told me.  That means folks I can stand or lay easy for a good few weeks until the next cry of despair goes up!  Take it steady and DO REST UP when the going gets tough and rhubarby folks.  Big Love Wonka X

PS I haven't mentioned Ruggles because all he does is rest up, eat up and use the facilities.  he still makes that off gurgling sound when he scratches in his ears and Owner says this is alright and not to worry.yes.X



Saturday, 29 July 2017

Butterflies!

Good Morning Up Folks!! First up to make you all feel better about your credit cards, your hair, your life...........OH NO THAT'S OWNER'S LIFE!!!! X Herewith is a photo of A BUTTERFLY escaping from one of the Buddleia!!

 
There we are!! What a snap from Owner who was saying things like 'this bkngsl££"! Camera needs charging Wonka! Can I get the butterfly first!! OH tha;g85649!! etc.and wotnot.X
 
 
Now you will also want to see some good snaps of ME:
 

 
OH!! I know I look the biz and I dare say you want one of my sparring mate Ruggles?X
 
 

 
 
Butter would not melt!! BUT folks only this morning did we have a tiny spat.  Who won?? IT DOES NOT MATTER. end of.XX
 
 
What of the Bubster you all shout out worried that Bertrude is left out.  There is a photo of Bertie but Owner spent half her life looking for it and STILL could not locate it (good use of word.X) SO instead here is one of her paws poking out from her beloved lair.X
 

 
There she is!! AND Owner successfully changed the insulin cartridge after hours of reading the instructions.  THEN clicking the pen and NOTHING, DE RIEN coming out.  Then folks she had a lightbulb go BANG in her bonce and she realises she has to get ALL THE AIR OUT Wonka.  Thus proving folks that she is turning into a chemist and a vet. I know.X
 
 
In other lesser news, Owner had a lovely day out in Bridlington with daughter and feeancee.  YES.  it is a proper romance with big moves involved too.  OVER THE SEA.  And if this silly brexit on toast carries on much longer folks, Owner says she will look at such a big move also.  ME? thanks for asking, and as you know I will try anything (once I have triple checked it for scary things.x) BUT for this adventure I might consult with the others. Ruggles and Bertie even if they do both hiss and spit before I can get a word in.X
 
I'M off to the Hairdresser! she tells me; Owner has a hair apt WITH the new one folks which so far is going well.  Once this horrid shade of yellow goes Wonka............(now where have I heard that? X).  Other things that went to plan despite days of fretting was a delivery folks.  The text foretold when the goods would arrive.  another text told the TIME they would be delivered.  Owner was IN at the said time and blow me down did a knock at the door have the goods safely delivered into Owner's hand!!! AND she liked one of the jumpers.  PHEW.X
 
The silly season is now upon us folks and Tresa Grey has gone off on her silly hols.  We have heard nothing of Jezzer and his plans except stuff saying HE HATES THE EEYEW, plus how he has sold all those brill students down the line with his story of student funding. not.  Owner says she knew this all along but the young and IMPRESSIONABLE she says to me, students would not have a word said against their new saviour.  Me and Owner are in with Vinnie Cable at the mo,  we love him.X PS and we are still Green too.X
 
On the telly there is a distinct lack of tip top drama.  Louis and Philippe have gone off somewhere, The Loch managed to solve itself and even that daft choir show with the RIFF OFF has gone. Owner has taken to a new show called Letterbox with that infuriating Mel in it, who Owner says THE JURY IS STILL OUT Wonka.  I did say is that because she is very funny, very witty and knows her stuff Owner? but luckily Owner did not hear me above shouting at Stacee who is behind the bar (not that one) in Enders. In Corrie Liz and Stevee are no longer behind their bar in the Rovers and instead it is whiny thingy who is Leeannes sister and alcoholic Petah.  I DON'T LIKE HER says Owner glued to the screen.X
 
Thankfully there is Casualtee tonight to keep Owner occupied and that nice Nik Knowles in that annoying quiz thingy.  name three million pop stars who sang about mud - alright 5 then.X
 
Next week cruises us all into August folks which should be a good and steady munf. And if it isn't Owner will write a letter of complaint!! chins up and furry fur fluffed!! Big love Wonka X
 
 
 


Saturday, 22 July 2017

We Don't Want a Kitten!

YOU HAVEN'T WONKA? NO folks, that's right I haven't - when times get rough and Owner shouts about and I quote:
'I'VE HAD ENUFF WONKA!!


does she start romanticising about getting a kitten.  Like when one of the trillions alright a fair few charities send her a dramatic request USUALLY featuring a wisp of a KitKat rescued from a dustbin or a shoebox OR just laying somewhere bleating feebly UNTIL a member of the animal rescuing public chances along AND gets the said kitwit to the vets in the scrape of time!! Then, there is a shivering wreck of a of kit looking up at Owner and demanding YES a donation.  I love you!! she says scribbling out a cheque.  I do say to her I say things like what about us, and what about the rising nay soaring cost of Bertrudes Vetinary bills NOW THAT SHE HAS Diabetes?? I mean.  But generally folks, Owner likes to rescue things and never forget Tinkers and the Boolleys who feature in 'Conversations with Wonka - part Six.'X



 
 
There we are!! Tinkers was Tinkerbelle, and she went and had her kits in the Luxury shed as was.  I warned Owner NOT to name them or foster them so what happened?? YES she named them, saved them and loved them.  Little Cadpig was brought back to life in her hands too, and named after the little dalmation in 101 dalmations who was also saved in this way.  Hankies folks! hankies!! X
 
Has Owner stopped complaining?? has she heck.  AND, she only went and cancelled the next load of torture I mean appointments with the new Dentist!! Has she gone silly you all wonder up and dare to say.... she decided he was just making a few bob out of her teef AND making her feel an old crock into the bargain.  I WILL HOLD ONTO THEM FOR A BIT LONGER she droned to me swilling back another tablet for the twinge on the upper right.X
 
YES this daft bloggy thing has published itself without a sayso from me.  I ask you.X
 
In other lesser news, aged parent has had another test to see if she is all there or not.  It is a common mental test for ANYONE staring into the abyss that has the general name Dementia tagged to it.  BUT says Owner all full of a little knowledge, Dementia is a term for the memory loss IT IS NOT ITSELF a disease.  Did aged parent do well at this test you all want to know.  Owner reports she did quite well and is: NOT SENILE YET.  This despite the nursing home rushing her into tests and tablets etc.  How they think they will do all of this behind Owner's back I do wonder at myself folks. And the funny thing was, that, according to Owner as she was on her way to meet with the nice Community Psychiatric Nurse and her support worker AND the aged, good (or not so good but well paid) jezzer Vine comes on the lunchtime show with his Doctor pal, and they run through the same test!! SO I KNEW all the questions in advance Wonka! she tells me when she fell back in later, fairly quizzed out and all.X
 
Goodness knows now it is the recess thingy those pesky politicians will all be lazing around reading books and plugging into the nearest life support machine ready for the next round of TALKS.  good Vinnie Cable is the new wotsit for the Lib Dems and already Owner loves him.  I know.x
 
On the good telly, craigie in Corrie is IN LERVE with little Bethanee, but like all good love stories it is unrequited!! Over in Enders Max is lying and conniving and reading bizness reports for evil means.!! Staycee wasn't in it much, so Owner didn't need to shout overmuch.  She did say Shazzer has been usurped by another of Fil's exes, yet another blonde albeit curly.  The Loch has ended with lots of last minute murderers to the fore and we loved it. And now, Owner is in love with Love Your Garden with Alan Titch!! Watch this space folks for more gardening tips!! (have we got one for today Owner I asked her?) Go easy on the snails!
 
On my timely advice Owner has uploaded the newest and bestest story, The Cat Who Never Was, to smashwords.com where you can all read it for free!!  When it is a premium wotsit I will put a full on link right here I will but until then this is what to look for:
 
 
 
There it is!! and yes!! it may even have a kitten in it too.  And for now folks, kitwits in stories will have to do for Owner's longings.X
 
 
What of Ruggles you all chirp up thinking what is he doing these days.  Well folks, he does spend most of them asleep, or eating, or the other AND does hog the blanket box here in the little sitting room.  Blow me down when I go over just to ask him if he is alright does he hiss at me!!  Bertrude was whisked to the vets yesterdee for another check on her insulin levels (a very expensive check folks.x) and it has been increased to 3 UNITS.  has Owner grasped the fundimentals of the insulin pen??? I do hope so folks, for Bertrude's sake.  Now to round off this fascinating report on US, I bring you news that Owner's rescue of a babe gull laying on the road has a happi ending!!  It got knocked by a car and just sat there AMAZINGLY surviving the next load of cars till owner got there to move it to the grass.  THEN she dithered about what to do.  All the gulls circled overhead and the little gull now named Braveheart turned its head and looked up at them!! THEN WONKA I got the blue soft blanket out of the car with no name, wrapped him or her in it and whisked off to the Vets.  And folks, with a patched up wing, Braveheart is now at the Whitby Wildlife Sanctuary!! X
 
 
Next Week folks is the final week sort of for July so PUSH THE BILLY BOAT out and Get Creative!! Owner has more than a touch of this and has started a new story!!! With my help of course, so go on have an Inspirational Week of it!! Big Love Wonka X