Saturday, 21 April 2018

Happi Days X

WHAT IS THERE TO CELEBRATE WONKA? you all wonder up, just waking up to enjoy your Satdee.
Herewith a Wonka Special LIST.

1.  The continuing sunshiney days folks.
2.  The Queen, HER MAJ is having a birthdee and is 92.  YES 92.
3.  Owner's daughter has only gone and got herself a job!
4.  Owner may be in touching distance of one herself.....X
5.  The World Championship Snooker is on folks for TWO Entire WEEKS xxxxxxxx

There we are! From 2016 BUT it stands the test of time folks, because John Virgo our best and fave commentatototototor, is bound to say this at some point as it is his CATCHPHRASE.  We love him.XX
So folks I do hope you have some good news in your lives too.  owner is blaming it all on Mercury going forwards and all sorts of other interesting but confusing planetary activity (need a lie down now...X) I cannot tell you folks how I am hanging onto the hope that soon VERY SOON, I can wave Owner off to work in the morning and enjoy the rest of the day until she falls back in moaning and droning on about it all.  I Love it.X

In the very silly old world of pollytics, Tresa Grey has a new catchphrase and is HOW VERY SORRY SHE IS ABOUT everything.  About the rules she made, about the mistakes she didn't make, about how sorry she is OH NO she just said that anyway it is one long round of sorries with Amber rudd thrown in for good measure.  Jezzer is only sorry he is not sorry and Vinnie does keep piping up a bit now but NOT to say he is sorry. Donwald the Trump just keeps saying things and no one PERSONNE sets any store as they may or may not be true and even if he is wrong he is not SORRY.

Over on the telly, we have clung to serious things folks Like, the murder of Stephen Lawrence who was a lovely teenage lad until a fateful night back in 1993. BUT, this horrid murder did change history and Owner is still thinking about his Mum, Doreen who would not give up until the (long word.  I must get ready for it) perpetrators (gasp) were jailed.  it took a long time but the wheels did turn folks.  It all makes Owner drone on about how this country isn't as good as it could be.  when Owner is not cuddling up to true life drama she is cuddling up to pretend drama like Corrie where the storyline has been about steroids (Robert said he would stop but he lied now he says he will stop and he means it as Chelle is his world. I know X) David and his bottled up rage. so far it has bottled off on his entire family and Gary. and Ranah was nearly kidnapped by her parents but Kate and co set her free.  Eileen has come out of hiding and made a friend.  NO it is not a serial killer, just a drug using, thieving lying woman who happens to be Seb's Mum.  Enders which has turned into the Staycee and KAT show got turned off and I did worry for a minute it would make Owner shout but no.
tonight Casualtee is suspended due to a big birthday concert for the Queen.  I BET SHE WOULD RATHER WATCH Casualtee shouted Owner when she found out PLUS she daren't tell daughter as she loves it too.  Instead we may cling to Brits got some measly and weird talent.X

Bertrude is enjoying the fine weather by bathing in patches of sunlight up above; Ruggles went straight out on Thursday and Friday and would not come back in until late aft.  ME? thanks for asking well I bob in and out and in and out and check the food levels in my saucer etc. I also kept Owner hard at it with the new application forms for registering with the latest agency.  AT LEAST Owner I said to her, in a very encouraging way, THEY HAVE NOT ASKED FOR YOUR UNIQUE SELLING POINTS.
Owner did not reply to that and I won't bring it up again. End of.X

What with Royal Birthdays and babies due and weddings there is a LOT to look forward to folks, and who knows, we could be lucky lucky lucky next week.  YES Kylie is singing at the concert tonight as is Sir Tom and a few others belting it out.  We may tune it for a bit of it droned Owner to me, it is a special Concert.  I did say you've changed your tune! but in a tiny whisper from upstairs on my giant nest so she may not have heard me..................X

Have a warm and sunny week ahead folks and BE LUCKY, big love Wonka X

Saturday, 14 April 2018


Now what Wonka? you all want to know about this latest LOVE IN of mine.  Everywhere you look and turn round folks is talk of guns and war and bombing and wotnot SO FOR TODAY I am declaring a BIG WONKA LOVE IN.  End of.  YES Owner agrees with this whole heartedly and says she is fed up to the back teef (what is left of them) with horrid strikes on war torn areas.  The common people she droned to me, are taking the brunt of the actions of a few selfish thick skulled money making power crazed MEN.  I means.XX

Here we are folks!! something to cheer us all up it is the latest #Mumsteds and is starring Blue Seal and Frida Kahlo (Owner has spelt this in as many ways as you can dream of and settled on that spelling)  End of. X
Now in other news AS YOU KNOW Owner sped off on an adventure that took her via St Pancras and the Eurostar to the Netherlands!!! it was a fab journey BARRING one thing.  Owner received a message from Eurostar advising her return journey was cancelled because those pesky French were having a train strike!! Did it spoil her journey Wonka you all shout at me worried and stressed just like she was !!! OF COURSE IT DID.  Owner has since blamed it ALL on Mercury being in retrograde.  In meantime she had an ace time with beloved (??!!) daughter and grandson in Helmond which she reports to me is as clean as a whistle and beauty pink blossom everywhere.  She even went to Eindhoven (GORGEOUS Wonka she droned to me - they all went for lunch in a Happy Eating cafe for Happy Vegans...X) and ended up in Brussels station for the journey home.  She loved it BUT was glad to be home.
There she is!! Tis Peggy who now resides in Helmond and is the most spoilt cat there!! Owner brought her a packet of my favourite seaside Felix biscuits too.  I know. Lots of kisses over the North Sea to you Peggy!! X
In other dreary news Tresa Grey keeps pretending to be acting in the interests of the people when instead she is swept along by her tatty cabinet and talking to Donwald the Trump who as far as we know is making it up as he goes along, and doing this all by himself.  Angela Merkel who may be the only one left talking sense, is talking sense. Jezzer has made a few noises from the allotment and Vinnie sounded off in some echo chamber somewhere too.  The Greens are active on Twitter but then so is all else.  Owner is fed up to the ---OH I've said that once she is very fed up then.  WILL SHE STILL VOTE FOR Jezzer you all want to know suddenly interested in Owner's swing from centre ground to a couple of degrees to the left.  FOLKS who knows?  Does the wind blow off the sea?? Did that Roman have a revelation on the road to Damascus? XXX
We have clung folks clung to Corrieogginstreet and loved nearly every minute eXCEPT the silly dragged out story of Evah's babe.  She went and tolt AYden that is Ayden who gave Carling Black eyebrows the kidney - and Ayden says he does not believe the babe is his.  Without a test.  Evah has changed her mind (what mind Owner shouted at the telly) and is still giving the babe to Toytown and Peetah (Peetah does not know any of this as yet but Symon his mixed up son does) and Adam who is not the father well Evah say he is to Ayden and now it is all a bit silly and Shakespeare would have been up all night writing the end.  Owner has managed to watch another violent and blood soaked episode of Gianni Versace without whimpering and there is Casualtee to look forward to tonight.XX
Listen up folks!! KLAXON - you know Owner has been on the scrap heap and that unique selling point consultant thingy wotsit has ensured this continued?? Well an old consultant from Owner's previous agency only went and emailed her with an offer of work!! I have rarely seen Owner so excited for weeks.  This same consultant who Owner used to babble to, argue with and cry to on the end of the phone whilst sitting shivering with fear in her car having stumbled from a classroom and wicked Skool - well now he is her best friend folks!! this is the same Owner who declared I AM NEVER GOING BACK Wonka.  I know.X  But the fact remains (if I can use that word without Owner hearing me and spitting and shouting x) if I am to live in a luxurious manner oh alright and Ruggles and Bertie Bubb then some more money must fall into Owner's bank account.  I have not recounted Owner's long and sorry calls with the HMRC and royal London and I'm not going to. I AM NOT IN THAT TAX BRACKET Wonka she shouts to me!! folks at this rate we are not in any tax bracket!!! X
Now next week looks alright to me - that horrid mist and grey and cold and mizzle weather has lifted and there is view out of the window.  YES I am fine really, and enjoyed the little break whilst Owner was dallying around the Netherlands - Bertie knew no different and Ruggles only got in my way once.............................X
Have a Sunny Purry Furry week folks!! Big Love Wonka XX

Thursday, 5 April 2018

A Midweek Special!

THANKS WONKA you all shout up fed up already now that the huge and long Easter Weekend and merriment or whatever it was for you, is PAST.  Some things though have stayed the same

1. It was raining before Easter and is still is.

2.  Owner is still going on a mini break and is making hundreds of lists and post it notes.  AND repacking her bags AND telling me all about it - and guess what folks? YES that is it!! I do not want to hear about it.  The responsibility of looking after Ruggles and Bertrude well it is a mammoth task folks.  End of.

3.  Cleaning up.  the monster keeps coming out of its hidey and doing things in the kitchen and the stairs. AND making a lot of noise too.

There we are!! I am also busy checking out front AND out back folks, so really busy busy busy. I love it.X
What else folks has been happening in my miniscule world?  Owner has been talking of Jezzer in a kindly way and I did say you've changed your tune Owner what has brought that on and she babbled about an article and a chap called Jonathan Freedland or something very like that and she says: HE HAS MADE ME THINK AGAIN Wonka.  Personally I think anyone other than Tresa Grey and her dodgy cabinet is worth a look in and you know how we do love Vinnie but Folks, when it comes to casting our spells I mean votes we must be sensible. I mean, what with Donwald the Trump and his nonsense and never mind his hair and the golfing, and Boris keeps spouting nonsense over here, we do need an alternative, and folks, if Jezzer isn't an alternative, I'll eat Rugglesis tea up.  OH, I already do that!! X
Over in the tellyworld, Enders has gone to the dogs or Stacey and her family anyway which now includes KAT and thingy.  In Corrie we all thought Feelan had dropped into the sea and drowned but NO!!! It turns out he used up yet another of his lives and has rescued himself whilst Eileen has been arrested for being an accessory OR a murderer OR just plain daft.  All are saying how could she NOT have known Feelan was busy seeing folk off and burying them in concrete? Only Eileen.....X
There we are folks! Tis Achilles from the drama on Beeb one called Troy.  Owner has taken against nearly all the main characters in it BAR Achilles.  She cannot abide Helen who has caused all the war to start with and will not do the honourable thing and leave (says Owner) I did say to Owner if you were married to someone horrid (one of those pesky Greeks) and you had a chance to hot foot it with a scrumptious Trojan (Hector's Big Bruv Paris stroke alexander) and have a better life and all....................but she was too busy droning and moaning on about Helen to hear me.  It is the last one this Satdee and it can only end in tears folks - a bit like Casualtee where even Charley Farley could not bring Robyn's dead hubbie back to life.  I know.X
What with the commonwealth games, the world championship snookerooni and Royal babes on the way I think April is all set to be a busy bee month folks and who knows, Owner may come back with a plan of action to GET A JOB and EARN some £s.  Do have a good week yourselves folks and don't put the wellies, hats, socks, gloves and scarves away just yet,
Have a big fat furry purry week folks! Big Love Wonka X


Saturday, 31 March 2018

Easter Up!

Halloah good folks all shivering in the usual freezing weather that simply WILL NOT SHIFT!  Me? thanks for asking, tucked up against my searing hot rad and refusing to go outback even it does mean passing up an opportunity to chase Ruggles!! None of us think it is Spring-like except Owner -there are signs of growth Wonka! she tells me up when she takes off her three coats scarves and gloves from putting the rubbish out.  It turns out that despite the frost and snow and ice and PERSISTENT rain - flowers are growing.  There is a solitary daff, there are some of those nice narcissus thingies AND a primrose. I know. X

There we are!  Even the old rose is sporting some greenery, and the climbing rose too.  We love it! (and so do those pesky pigeons.X)
You will recall folks, that last weekend Owner was busy uploading a new #Duffel story for ALL TO ENJOY? and then folks, those checkers and editors who hide away in tiny rooms OR even working from their homes - returned it back to Owner FIVE times saying daft things like PARAGRAPHS are not aligned or they are or some strange editing talk - I did think Owner would give in BUT NON!! Instead, round about the fifth edit, Owner sent a little note to their good customer help. THEN WHAT Wonka you all shout at me desperate to hear a happy ending.  THEN folks she got a nice helpful reply AND #DuffeldoestheMet has made it into their Premium Catalogue!! BUT WONka you all continue to pester me and say: Is any one reading it Wonka?  Not many.  So do please spread the word - it is a FAB short story and I am sharing it on here forthwith!! X
Now I have linked and shared and widgeted and who knows it may even be on here for you!! In the meantime here is that hound dog of hound dogs, Anubis who stars in the story! X
There he is!! He was from the first dynasty and is the Protector of the dead souls.  You can see him in the famous Metropolitan Museum of Art folks along with many other ancient wonders... (sorry Owner!only joking!! X)
Now some of you are celebrating your Easters and others are celebrating something else like a passover and there may well be other little ceremonies too.  Me? I embrace all of it folks, but I do like a nice film and blow me down if The Robe wasn't on yesterday and we all clung to that nicely.  There was the Roman side and there was Jesus's side and even some Greeks and wotnot thrown in.  Richard Burton headed up the Roman side and Victor Mature who was a giant Greek slave ended up a disciple and the rest as they say, is history.  I tried to get Ruggles interested but he insisted on settling down on his hairy furry blanket right up against his searing hot rad.  Today we are clinging to Casualtee (there has been a car crash and no doubt Nursey Charlie will advise and save all - in keeping with the Easter story really) and there is the Voice but do they keep voting IN the ones that Owner says should be voted OUT.  There is Troy but Owner has not warmed to the Trojans specially not Helen and is siding with the Greeks.  I mean. X
In the pollytical world Tresa Grey is mounting a pilgrimage round the UK to apologise to all about the lying and scheming of her fellows that dare to call themselves our representatives and says she will cooperate instead with us (the people and felines oh alright everything else) AND jezzer and Vinnie and those Greens and deliver up a government for ALL the people not the FEW.  Oh alright that is just a dream, a bit of fakery and ahead of tomorrow folks an April Fool.  Vinnie is out there somewhere and Jezzer has risen from the latest scandal OR is tending to his allotment.X
Owner has been so busy writing stories and involving herself with Art fairs she has not considered a job. I'LL THINK ABOUT IT WHEN I COME BACK FROM Amsterdam she droned to me.  Personally folks I think it should be TOP of her list not half way down it.  I can only hope those food banks remember us felines need feeding too...................WHEN IS SHE GOING Wonka you all mutter to me glued to your Netflix and amazon and wotsits - Soon folks soon.  I have seen some packing EVEN though it is not a suitcase I can tell there is something happening AND I expect to be spoilt rotten by my Auntie Paula.  End of.X 
In Corrie, our fave nasty, Feelan was last seen falling into the sea with Eileen at last seeing the light or was it the lighthouse and shouting LIAR to him as she stamped on his grasping hands....Evah has still not revealed to AAAAAden she is having his babe and no one PERSONNE has noticed she has a cushion up her dress.  In Enders Staycee is still playing every single part and no one else is having a look in.  KAT has returned along with a few other stragglers but they are just bit parts.  I GIVE UP shouted Owner.X
Folks we are full steam ahead for April and can only hope the sun makes more of an appearance as Owner is SICK OF MY WINTER Wardrobe Wonka!  I did suggest folks, that before she flings it a) (LIST ALERT!!) all in the bin b) all in a bag to give away or c) hangs it over the banister for a year or two TO give it a bit longer in the wardrobe.  Wonka! WHAT? Owner hates wardrobes and does not have one................WELL alright but in that cupboard that pretends to be one then.XX
You will all want to know that the minute Owner droned to the aged parent that Ruggles no longer scrits in his ears and makes that gargling noise did he do just that. RUGGLES! she went to him.  Alright it was just the once.  Bertie bubb is fine and will not notice who is feeding her we think.  I shall supervise her anyway so not to worry Owner!!X
Have a furry purry start to April folks, go steady on the chocolate AND you other felines and canines stay off it altogether.  On second thoughts treat yourself silly!!! big Love Wonka X


Sunday, 25 March 2018

New Story!!

Folks this is your heads up for the new story on
Duffel does the Met!!

Do give it a whirl and treat yourself to a big smile as you go the Met with Duffel and Sam.XX

Til next time!  Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 24 March 2018

British Summertime!!

IT NEVER IS WONKA! I'm telling you it's true and all our pesky clocks go FOWARD by one hour tonight I mean Sundee morning BUT, if Owner remembers we will do the rounds tonight. The worst one Wonka, she droned to me, is the timer thingy computerised thingy for the heating.  Folks, I am already prepared for the heating to GO OFF at the wrong time and GO ON at silly o'clock.X
There we are!! facing up to it.  YOU CAN DO IT Owner I says.X
What else can we moan about I mean tell you?  Still no job on the horizon for Owner BUT she is on about making a fortune with her art work.  I only hope you are right I said from well behind the kitchen door and I did say it in a whisper...............  One thing she has done and I am so proud to report it - our new #Duffel story is finished! and unless Owner tweaks it for no good reason it will be popped onto tomorrow folks!  it is called Duffel does the Met which is of course the world famous Metropolitan Museum of Art in #newyork !! X

There it is!! The new cover, with Duffel and Sam on the front folks.  do keep an eye out for it and I will post on here when it is ready - in time for Easter too - well done Owner! X
In the silly old billy old world of pollytics Tresa Grey continues to smile and nod and little else and Jezzer looks over the fence of his allotment to sack a few spuds I mean fellow MPs.  this time it was good Owen Smith who owner went to see a couple of years' ago when he competed against jezzer to lead the party.  IF ONLY says Owner, the voters had seen sense but really thanks to the momentarily lot, Owen lost..which is why we cling to Vinnie! It is all pretty hopeless and even facebook (I warned Owner not to join.  I know I have my own page BUT I guard it with a sharp claw.X) has been dishing out everyone's info willy nilly. The world gone madder than mad folks.X
It's a short round up of the weekly news folks because I have my tea waiting and that folks, is more important than anything especially since my diet and name calling like TEA COSY and SIDE OF A HOUSE etc.  Owner has only gone and found a new hairdresser that (drum roll) cut her hair perfectly.  She hasn't suggested dying it sky blue pink. growing it so she can put two tons of unnecessary and non flattering high or low lights in it NO. NON she simply cut it and cut it perfectly. Blow me down the stairs I says when owner fell back in.  It is called Super Cuts and folks - that is the right name. X
Ruggles has had a spot on treatment for his ear mites AND to date it is working.  He refused to get in the carrier and Owner rolled up to the Vets without him.  HE WOULDNT get in the carrier she droned to them.  I know - ME? I trot in like a King.  Bertie? just shoves in and makes a tiny fuss and then nothing.  I know.X
We have been bewitched with a new programme called Pilgrimage and has a sprinkling of celebs all marching to Santiago and questioning their faith (what faith) on the way.  Even Kate bottom thingy who is a Priest is questioning whether there is a God or not.  HONESTLY moaned Owner to no one really. ME? of course I believe in God and that - I often send up a prayer and our hero St Francis he is the tops.  In Corrie it has all gone daffy duck and mixed up David won't talk about his horrid incident and Carling Black eyebrows is getting everyone drunk on her new kidney and then whisking then off to bed however old they are.  I mean. Enders has outdone itself and Owner managed not to watch it.  Shazzer has either put on weight or put on weight and Staycee has taken over all the characters -there is no room for anyone else droned Owner.  We are looking forward to the Voice even though the ones we like are not through.  DO WE HAVE A FAVE?  not this year.  Casualtee may yet win us over.XX
Now folks, do have a good week not forgetting it has good fridee in it. Toss a coin if you need to make a decision it will be just as good as if you spent hours thinking it over AND keep you furry fur all fluffed up as you never know who you might bump into.  Big Love Wonka X 

Saturday, 17 March 2018

In the Deep Midwinter!

WILL IT EVER STOP SNOWING AND BEING COLD Wonka? you all mumble from deep within your duvets and throws and rugs. for what it is worth folks, here is my prediction based on Owner's short break away at the begin of April.  I predict a ray of sunshine round about that time folks, because whatever else Owner is lucky with she is LUCKY IN WEATHER.  You will recall her sudden (I thought it was X) jaunt to New York New York last Feb?? Gorgeous weather, sun sun and more sun.  Blue skies to dream of and nary a drop of rain never mind wind or cold.Ah X
There we are!! Owner came back with so much New York attitude she passed some over to me.XX
Has your week been topsy turvy like ours? Owner says no end of double dealing has been going on in the pollytical world with Russians all to do with it.  Either by not doing something, OR by doing something.  What else? Owner has sent off another TWO submissions to a nice literary agent who may or MAYNOT like them.  On a more motivational note (get me X) Owner has finally written something and it is the fourth yes fourth #Duffel story to be set in............................New York!!  she has promised to try and self publish it on for Easter folks and if anyone can do this IT IS MY BEST OWNER.
In brighter news, and on the subject of travel Owner has started making lists and daughter has joined in, helpfully asking her to bring all these things that surely will weigh
Owner down and take up all the room in her best wheely suitcase.  WILL YOU MANAGE I went to her..... I WILL MANAGE Wonka she droned back to me.X

There it is!  The beauty little blue bag that went all round New York New York and will soon be poppin round Amsterdam and Eindhoven too!!X
In other lesser and lesser excitinger news, that funny old consultant, the one who thought Owner was asleep at 8 in the morning (well not THAT morning anyhow X) rang up and left a little old message warning Owner, that if she wanted the opportunity to slave away at a primary skool on Mundee and Tuesdee morning, SHE MUST RING HER BAK IN 5 MINS.  Happily, Owner disregarded that golden opportunity, saying things like - Wonka, I can do better than that!  I only hope Owner, I whispered from deep in my new hidey, we won't starve thanks to your new happy go lucky attitude.....X
As we said in the silly old house of commons, Tresa Grey has been rattling on with her pointy fingers at Russia and Jezzer has been sitting on his hedge or fence down at the allotment, urging for caution.  We can only hope he hasn't got power of attorney for any of his ageds as they will be waiting a long time for his decision.  Vinnie stood up somewhere and made a speech about the EEEWE.We still love him, and he is our only chance of saving the desperate state of it all.  Nicola who is up in sconny botland is still piping up about an independent Scotland, and who can blame her really? I only hope Owner returns from the Netherlands without wanting to upstix! XX
On the good old telly we have found a new programme and we love it.  CALLED WONKA? You all want to know, having got up from your duvets and even thinking of popping to the shops for more supplies before the next snowfall - called Pilgrimage.  it is a bunch of and I use this description loosely folks - celebrities.  DO YOU RECOGNISE any of them Wonka you all shout at me to know.  ONLY Debbie McGee folks, who as you know we loved in Strictly.  There is a moany old Priest called Kate, a bloke called Neil and a few others.  They are all moaning bar Debbie.  And all bound for Santiago in Spain BUT walking on a set route!! Enders has got rid of one boring person (AAADEN) to bring on another, AND had this one attach itself to that family that Owner likes. it can only go downhill now - and in Corrie a dark storyline has risen up, it is silly old Fiz and she is lying to Tyrone who had a tiny drunken fling with our fave Gemma. Ditch Fiz! shouts Owner at every given opportunity.  and in place of Feelan we have a new nasty and he has been horrid to David! But will David report it.....tonight we must decide Casualtee OR the voice.  Owner is insisting on some entertainment but they both fit that bill - tomorrow folks, the Durrells springs back BUT there is another drama on one.  More pesky dilemmas. We love it.XX
This morning folks, I was having my usual morning nap which more or less follows seemlessly from getting up and having a small breakfast, anyway, I was ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and then  hear Owner shouting, so I look out the window and she is alone!  Was it a soliloquy (blimey I have surpassed myself) you all wonder up - NO, she was ranting on about the GREEN BIN. Those neighbours, instead of being neighbourly are at it again, being selfish and unhelpful and (wait for it) leaving Owner's green bin ALL BY ITSELF out on the street, whilst fetching all the others in.  I know.  And, I sort of forgive Owner for her rant to herself too.  (she goes ' THAT SAYS FAR MORE ABOUT YOU, YOU PETTY PERSON, THAN ME!!').
Now of course, Owner is over that and it is forgotten (ish).  And, in the spirit of forgiveness folks, I, YES I Wonka, forgive that huge baby gull for giving me a fright by coming down the chimney and popping out into the small space of the upstairs sitting room. Owner was braver than brave and got it outside in my best cat basket.  Ruggles would have slumbered through it and Bertrude knew nothing DE RIEN as per.  Owner spied out of the kitchen window into the dark little outback (It descended at ten at night.  I mean. x) and it got out of the basket and flapped up onto the fence.  We all said a prayer of thanks to St Francis and whoever is God of Gulls and had a good night's sleep.X
Next Week can only improve on this one folks, and I beg you to all have A FAB ONE!  Book that holidee, have that dream, buy that thing, read that book and watch that film!! Big Love Wonka X