Friday, 13 October 2017

Wonka's Weekly doodah.

HALLOAH UP FOLKS!! now we all know who really heads things up in our homeo, who rules the roost, who mixes their metaphors and wotnot NO IT IS NOT ME of course it is Owner BUT, it must be said that my opinions and my input do count. YES they do.  for a small instance folks, when Owner says I CAN'T WAIT TO COME BACK HOME... oh no that is every day, well maybe when she drones to me how much she cannot wait.... and this week had a lot of that in it due to (one of those subtle OOH WORD bangs of a big gong on a drum thing.x) visits to aged sibling to help out with some admin. We all know that is death to Owner, followed by a trip to the dentist. worse than death for Owner.  IS SHE STILL ALIVE Wonka you all shout up? anxious and worried about how ME alright and ruggles and bertrude would cope on our own......YES, very alive and all proud of itself for not weeping throughout the extraction AND able to eat and drink straight away.  I know.X

Owner has a long and proud reputation of weeping in the dentist's chair but has finally burst through her very own fear of the dentist hoop!!! YAY!! X
You will all want to know that Bertrude has gone through her cat flu hoop, the most expensive cat to-date with just the odd sneeze and snuffle left.  I have been warned NOT TO GET IT Wonka! and so has Ruggles.  Seeing as he is fast over in the boiler cupboard and will only waken for some fodder, I cannot see him catching anything.End of.X
In the other big news of the week, Owner has near enough managed not to upset anyone at the college over much.  That she knows of. so she still has a job to go back to on Mundee and me and the others are OK for biscuits too.
Owner read it somewhere that Donwald the Trump is to visit our tiny miniscule island with his spray tan I mean his wife next year. Owner is sure this is to give the majority of the country enough time to organise itself into a giant rebellious crowd.  What I says, like that one in history, racking my brains for a name and I come up with Wat Tyler.  WHO? shouts Owner impatient now for some good solid historical facts.  WAT I shouts back.  alright from well behind the study door in a muffled whisper that she may not have picked up. Boris is still speaking on behalf of some of the tory party which is so split I am not sure which bit he speaks for, and as for Jezzer, he said on camera he voted to remain, but Owner insists he looked sheepish whilst saying it.  The body cannot lie she says. good Vinnie well we know he is out there somewhere.....X
In Corrie Reetah has had an operation AND is still alive and knows that Norris is Norris.  This surely proves her sanity?  Feelan is our Friday the 13th nasty - and cooking up his plot to replace thingy with another wastrel in that cellar.  His saintly daughter is to have Gary's babe whether Feelan approves or not and Eileen who has failed to notice her husband is a psychopath is on hand to advise. Enders for some reason has concentrated on Staycee and her madness thus stoking up Owner's inner demons- that and jane regaining her wits in the hospital bed with mad max sitting at the bedside.  thank goodness for the dancing and the singing - one small thing to mention though is Owner's sudden looming dislike for the new judge that is Shirlee.  personally I don't mind a few snapping and snarlings and that was just Bruno folks, and I'm sure she is still finding her tootsies.  Darcy is as purry and furry as ever.  We love her.X
I think this silly old diary went and published itself before I had finished my round up folks! but there we are it is all done except for Owner's tribute to the Dahncing - that is said in Aunty Craig's best voice!!  herewith is Brian and Amy from the Wizard of Oz, if I only had a brain and we love themXXXX
There they are!! One of our faves you see, along with Jonnie and Oti and Mollie and AJ too.XX
It is a big week coming up as Owner is popping to see daughter and grandson before they whisk off to live in the Netherlands!! near to Eindhoven they will be so Owner has promised to drive there when she visits.  IT CAN'T be that hard she droned to me.....I am giving all you good folks over there a good furry heads up and to watch the roads when she does.  I know.X
Now do go onto have a thrilling week yourselves next week when you get to it.  Pounce on it for all you are worth and give it a good claw jab if it tries to escape!! Big Love Wonka X


Saturday, 7 October 2017

Get the Autum Look!!

Howdy up folks and are you in the MODE?? What Mode is that Wonka you all whisper up not really awake yet never mind reading my very best blog. AUTUMN mode that is what.X

Owner has been trying on her entire autumn wardrobe which is made of bits of her Winter, Spring and Summer clothes. All messed about and layered and wotnot.  THIS WILL HAVE TO DO Wonka she tells me up (I was having a few well earned zzzzzzzz so may not have paid full attention folks...X).

it turns out that Owner feels fat and ugly in all seasons folks and I have my work cut out CUT OUT to find the right compliment. I mean.XXXX
There we are!! Now me and Ruggles don't see eye to eye on much (hisssssss grrrrrr) but when Owner says things like ' IS MY TUMMY REALLY THAT STICKY OUTY?? it is best to lurk under the table and out of earshot and everything.XXXX
So possibly folks Owner has got the Autumn look and I have reassured her that those really expensive boots that go with hardly anything that is de rien folks - they look the BIZ.XX ps it is too late to take them back she has worn them and squirted them with that protection thingy. Who Owner...I droned to her...would know?? I know she goes back to me and that is End Of.X
What else Wonka you ask me up, raising your voices a notch, has happened.  Bertrude, who is already costing Owner a small fortune alright bending the credit card then - well she went and got cat flu.  And, did so on a Sundee when NOTHING is opened.  Owner had listened to her sneezing and snuffling in the night and by morning was a nervous wreck pacing up and down until she hit on the expensive idea of calling a vet during closed hours. I KNOW.  we all may as well pack up our meagre belongings and get on the next coach to sconny botland who might let us in if they haven't divorced from little ingerland by then.  YOU DO REALISE droned the vet on call, THAT THIS IS OUT OF HOURS.  Oh yes she goes all merry and bright.  Off they go to the closed surgery and Bertrude comes back having had two of the most expensive injections they have on their menu plus a new cartload of needles and insulin. IS SHE OK you all want to know.  Aside from sneezing and snuffling and poking her nose right in the pilchards (they smell so Owner got tins and tins and I hate the smell of them folks I do.X) she is sugar dandy.X
Me?? thanks for asking, well somehow between Owner's mood swings which swung yesterday dangerously (good word) low, I am alright and fitting in several zzzzzzzzzzzz the minute Owner chucks herself off.  yesterdee she did a surprise hospital visit and it was a surprise as the patient was leaving for home.  IT WAS A complete disaster Wonka she moaned up as she fell back in.  The thing is folks Owner had to drive miles to get there and did not even get a cup of tea whilst there.  It was the surprise from hell and the patient's husband was rude to Owner just to finish the poor visit off. I LOVE YOU! I shouted bearing in mind it was spot on tea time.  And even Rugggles did his best to show some love by half hissing at me instead of full on. The moral of the tale is thus: try to get as much info as poss before you spring any surprises.  End of.XX
The really big news of the week was Tresa Greybot got a frog in her throat during the story conference I mean Tory shebang and all felt sorry for her even more.  It was all POOR TRESA it could happen to anyone and STOP PICKING on our good PM.  it seems only yesterdee folks all were saying that about Jezzer who is still laying low on his vegetable patch.  yes there is Vinnie but where??X
On the telly we are entranced with Strictly and sticking with our best faves that is Jonnie and Oti PLUS Debbie and Gio who Owner still not sure about but is coping with.  NOT SO Staycee who is either going mad again or half mad.  Either way Owner cannot abide it.  In Corrie Reetah had her OP and the Tumour is no more BUT it may have spread..... nasty Feelan is still on the rampage for new victims he is so nasty we hate him he has even crept into a care home.... I DON'T LIKE that storyline says Owner thinking of her own aged parent.  it is only make believe I whispered from round the corner in the dark secret hidey..........XX
Well folks it is all systems go next week as Owner must be brave at the dentist,  This is nigh on impossible but we live hopefully.  if you have to face up to something you do not like folks, remember to FLUFF UP YOUR FUR and look that thing in the eye!! Big Love Wonka XX

Saturday, 30 September 2017

WhoWee Debbie McGee X

Morning HO folks!!  I knew you would want to start your Satdee with a gorgeous photee of ME so here I AM!!!! X

And don't forget folks to find me on my FaceBookie page too!!
just follow this lovely link....................X

In other important news well nearly as BIG as me - yes you have guessed it folks it is that WHOWEE Debbie McGee! Did she go for it last Satdee?  yes she did! AND even surprised Giovanni whilst she was at it.  he didn't know what pasa doble had dobled him folks.  We love her and Owner says she has warmed to Gio.  End of.X

There we are folks!! Owner's first tribute of the new season and there will be more more more.  X
Who else wONKA you all shout at me impatient now you have got into the newness of Strictly - who else do you like??  We still love OTI and Jonnie P, they are a fab team and our top faves BUT we like a few others too.  We do like Bri c, we do like Ruthie AND some of them know how to dance.  Davood who is of Enders fame, chucked himself round the floor and Owner did concentrate on that one. ALSO Chizzee danced herself dizee (I know.X) and she is from........(drumroll) HOLBEE.  on that subject there is more folks.X
When Owner wasn't dashing off emails about this about that not to forget that other thing, she was clinging to Corrie (Bethanee is being taken in yet again folks - can Craigie rescue yet again?x) and Enders (all are crooks and villains and Staycee is going mad again.)and Holbee City.  Sosha or sausage got married but then her Dad in it took too many pills and ended up being brought back to life by Jac and then taking a job in sunny somewhere else. (sausage I mean.  her Dad was brought back to life not once but twice and said she must go! and leave him to it!)  IT all got on Owner's nerve endings even the one she likes has said he just wants to be fwends with his new chapster.  I tried to warn her by saying things like Ruggles just hissed at me! for nothing! AND I am starving Owner please feed me more of those seaside snack things BUT she would not look up and continued to be on a mood setting of fairly annoyed and irritable.  THAT'S why folks, tonight will be a glory fest of Strictly and Hex Factoring.X
Yesterdee folks a small miracle happened and the entire family alright the five of them met up for their fish and chip outing AND Owner said it all went nice.  I do know this for a fact because my best aunty (Owner's daughter) and best Uncle (Owner's grandson) trotted back for half an hour to play with me. OH and look at Ruggles OH and seek out Bertrude. I rolled over and showed off my tummy and it is not half as massive as Owner keeps saying it is. PLUS she has worked out a way to cart I mean carry me to the good vets for my annual booster. I WILL HAVE TO USE A TAXI she droned.  NOT try to lift him on my own.  I mean.X
Owner proudly stalked I mean went to work and stayed there for the right amount of time even helping a few students here and there.  I am spurring her on by saying things like WE NEED THE MONEY OWNeR and BE STRONG like me. oh alright and Ruggles and Bertrude we have all been through it and know what it is to be on the outside looking in.X
It has gone and published itself while I was not looked so here is the rest of the weekly round up:  Boris who still looks like a tory pm in the wings to all but the rest of the tory party who deny everything even themselves, is going on about brexit with marmalade and UKIP have found themselves a new leader but why bother Owner says? there is no need for one now that jezzer is keen to leave the E ewe and plunge the country into a state.  a state of owning everything. apparently this is good for us and means that the ones with all the money (the Rich) will be the same as the ones without any (the Poor). so no need for competitions or lotteries or working hard to earn more money because we will all have enough.  is there a catch there? Well Jezzer should be alright as he is cracking on a bit and owns his own home.  We still love Vinnie and those greens.X
Do keep your sights on the prize whatever that is folks, and never say you are anything else but PURFECT.  Have a big fat fun week  wherever you are and Big love Wonka X

Saturday, 23 September 2017

Autumn stroke Strictly Season X

Autumn klaxon folks!!! It means (list)

1. dark nights. (tick) (the blue dragonflies are lighting up our little outback still.
2.  colder days and nights. (tick) (radiators or as I like to call them RADS are already searing hot and ME, ruggles and Bertrude have no complaints.)
3. leaves falling down off our cherry tree. (tick) (no one PERSONNE minds this happening.)
4. The car with no name must battle on through it (tick) (Owner had slight wonder about whether she must check it for things - what things Owner? I said anti freeze things she muttered.  I did say are you getting muddled up with Winter Owner but she was too busy on a to-do list to notice me.  As per.X)
5.  The clocks go back.  (TICK tock....X)
6.  Strictly is BACK!!!! (HUGE MASSIVE TICK) and really the topmost Autumn fact of our list folks.X

There we are!! The first in our new 2017 series of Strictly Cartooning. We love it.X
As you have already spotted and noticed folks, OTI and JOHNNIE are our top faves, followed by Ruthie and Bri. All of this might change but one thing I do know.  Brucie will be watching over the proceedings from his new next room status and who knows, he may give us a heads up or two.X
WHAT ELSE Wonka you all want to know, frantic now, for some gossip, is new????  Owner handed in her notice folks, then changed her mind.  When she stumbled in early mid week, I did think something may be wrong in between (quite rightly I thought) mentioning how hungry I was.  I'VE HAD ENOUGH Wonka she moaned up to me and began scrabbling around looking at contracts and looking woeful. It is just your first week back and only the third day of it I said (also helpfully I thought although this time I had the good sense to mention this in a whisper from behind one of the many doors upstairs.) Luckily, after a phone call and a poor night's sleep Owner leapt up prepared for action.  GOOD LUCK I called as soon as the front door slammed to.XX
Well Wonka?? of course she changed her mind folks, she loves her job too much for that.  I do worry for the students but I'm sure they've got the hang of it by now.  Just all stay back until the smile reappears THAT is when you are safe to come out of the cupboard, water, or hidey hole.X
Bertrude is completely unaware of any changes to the household routine and has been sighted in the bathroom relaxing on a bathmat. ie sitting down looking comfortable. Until one of us alright I mean ME wanders in.  I only popped in to check the facilities folks but got a hiss in my face! I mean!X
Ruggles, who Owner spent all that time worrying and fretting that he would miss his jaunts outside, takes a 5 minute look out there and then travels up to his blanket box for a good nap ZZZZZZZZ. it is left to me, to sniff under the gate for those pesky Vikings, look in the little outhouse for any aliens (we are on the new film now, Covenant, and who knows where they might turn up)and then finally rest up on Owner's Dad's workbench. Yes, I am busy.X
You are now all restless for a quick summary of who said what and did this in the political world.  In the playground that passes for the White House, donwald continues with his playtime spat.  that it could all end in us being blown to smithereens doesn't bear says Owner. Tresa May keeps including half the country in statements about brexit on toast when the very same half the country don't want it didn't vote for it and have had enough of it.  me and Owner still think an alien has swallowed Jezzer and spat out a substitute. It has all gone very silly AND Boris keeps flying off here and there and blow me down saying daft stuff when he gets there.  CAN HE NOT WEAR THAT CASUAL VESTY THING said Owner when she caught sight of him in a hotel lobby.X
There we are watching Corrie! and it all turns out that Reetah has a big fat tumour NOT the alzheimers thingy.  it just shows you folks that forgetting things isn't just a dementia problem. Owner did start to drone on about aged parent who is a sharp as a button despite attempts to brand her as going down the senile road, but I had to dash for a quick stand off with Ruggles.  I know.X
In Enders most of the dead or dying except Stephen (the one who SAID he had a brain tumour but hadn't) are still alive. Shame said Owner when she watched a tiny bit of it last night. Mad Max is collecting people from prison and who knows who he will hoodwink next, and when Stacee made a brief angst ridden appearance Owner switched off.  Again, I know.X
We also clung to masterchef and loved our Ulrika but of course Angelica with two LLs won it.  She was a pudding expert and both John n Gregg adore their pudds.X
I do hope (and pray folks) that next week is not as feverish as this one was.  There is a possible planned familee outing. BUT the one bright speck on all horizons is that Owner's hair has gone right. This alone could save the students, the familee outing and make all our lives alright ME and my life easier.  our latest BIG FAT saying in this house is IF you fall down today GET BACK UP AGAIN tomorrow.!!! Fluff your FUR out and keep those whiskers bristling!!! big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 16 September 2017

TOYS and Aliens.

WHAT NOW Wonka you all wonder up slowly coming to grips with it being the weekend?  Folks, Owner has seen it or heard it or even made it up.....HOW can I be sure but she thinks there will be a new TOY STORY 4.  Are you getting muddled up with the Alien series Owner I said until she firmly reminded me there are more Aliens than that.  And she should know folks because she insisted, for a treat, on watching all of them YES ALL OF THEM in a film fest for her Birfdee.

And now, the first spaceship engineer to be slaughtered in space by said Alien, has gone off to the next room.  That is Harry Dean Stanton folks, who, in the film and at Ripley's request went on a mission ALONE to find the ship's cat...........the good news was that although he got snaffled up by the nasty creature hiding in the pipes, the cat made it home!!! This alone kept Owner keen to cuddle up to Aliens, Alien 3 (half way through this.  I have been watching bits of it folks from behind Owner's head on the back of my giant nest the settee,X)and the other two are lined up.  ALL in readiness folks for the newbie alien film.  Will you be alright watching it Owner I said up, you know how nervous you get.......I CAN WATCH IT IN THE DAYTIME she droned to me.  I know.X

There we are!! Me and Ruggles with our Xmas toys!!X
POURQUOI you all shout at me now, are we looking at this Wonka??!!  Owner suddenly challenged me on the extent of my toys.  ARE YOU PLAYING WITH THEM?? she goes to me out of the blue when I was nicely by the searing hot rad. (Yes the heating is back on thank goodness folks.  We don't go in for that extra jumper thing in this house.X) I have to say that beyond giving one of my tinkley balls a good bat down the hallway now and then OH and snuggling up to my ragged old catnip fish the thing I enjoy chasing I mean playing with most is Ruggles!! or Bertrude!!  Owner made me look at the big carrier bag full of toys PLUS the ones sitting next to it and everything.  Like you folks, just because I don't play with them every two mins, doesn't mean they must go to the green monster outback who eats up all the rubbish OR be given away to a needy cat stroke kitten. I will play with them I promise I said to Owner.  I mean.X
What else you all grumble has been going on Wonka?  Wall to wall birfdees folks where we just turn round from one Birfdee and it is another one!!!  and in case it is YOUR birthdee today then this folks is for you!! X
Have a wondrous day!! X
Boris has been here there and now is shouting about billions of £s and Brexit on toast again.  He has his adoring fans and he has everyone else who thinks he is a ninny.  WILL HE HAVE ANOTHER POT SHOT AT THE thorny crown of the Tory lot.  We think he will.  His Dad will tell him to 'Go for it Boris lad' and the next thing Tresa Grey will be in the history books and another farce will begin.  Back in labour land it has gone as quiet as a mouse and we do wonder if Jezzer is trapped on his allotment? perhaps a runner bean OR alien plant has got him?? Vinnie has been on a couple of marches and our beloved Greens are busy standing up for the environment.  We love them.X
PS donwald the Trump is still sending silly tweets off like a water pistol he cannot control the stream of silliness and silly people keep reading them too.X
In tv world we have clung to Corrie and Evah's big lie I mean wedding inches nearer to us.  Can Aiden, who looked drop dead gorgeous in a dress with a touch of make up on his stag night, still love her despite all the lies and that???  Reetah is still going bonkers and Feelan is still kidnapping Andy.  I know. In Enders as predicted NO ONE, de rien I mean PeRSONNE died in all the shooting and gas thingies.  Max has somehow been intertwined with all injured parties even making another attempt on Jane's life.  AS A FAIRLY BORING Character droned Owner, she is proving indestructible.  A bit like those Aliens folks.x
Now for reasons only logical to Owner she is desperate to get back to work and annoy I mean help all those students.  This means panic stations on Mundee when she goes into full throttle.  Me and Ruggles are sort of ready for it and will stand easy whilst she does her sufi dancing and eventually slides out of the front door.x  Bertrude as you all know, will not notice any difference whatsoever.we love her. X
Now do all of you go on to enjoy the weekend what is left of it, and a bit of telly that is any good to watch.  Owner will insist on the Hex Factor and Casualtee if it is not shoved to one side for a football match or some athletics or something else we never watch.X
wherever you are folks fluff up your fur and tingle those whiskers!! Big Love Wonka X

Monday, 11 September 2017

An Egyptian Tale!! X

Before you say anything folks like WHAT IS THIS NEWS Wonka!!  I am proud to tell you that the story that has been released into the wild IN PRINT last February is now available
on ....YAYZERS

Is that the one with Ramondo in it?  YES.  End give it a whirl once it has completed its conversion thingy.  YOU WILL LOVE IT as I do tell a whopping good tale.x
See you later!! big love Wonka X

Saturday, 9 September 2017

The Birthday Season X

IS IT YOURS WONKA? you all shout up suddenly interested and pleased.... NON! NYET and nope.  No one that is Personne knows when my good birfdee is so in the grand tradition of Winnie the Pooh another famous animal who is a bear, I am constantly having a very happy UN birthday!! so it is treats all the days AND I do try to share these with the others.  I do.X

It is just Owner who has a birthday on the horizon and yes they are all BIG ones now, but that nice chap in aged sibling's housing centre thingy cafĂ© said YOU LOOK 17! and Owner has been very happy ever since.  Said sibling has had his birthday and my best Auntie that is Owner's daughter has had her birthday so you see folks, it is the month for it.  AND let us not forget that good Prince Harry shares his day with Owner's.  End of.X

There we are!! Owner suddenly decided to do a new little advertisement for this very blog. Pourquoi? I says to her, thinking what has brought this flurry of advertising on.  IT IS ALL ABOUT MARKETING WONKA she droned to me saying things like BRANDING and TARGETS.  personally I think she is taking too much notice of those relentless nudges from FB but who am I??  ONLY THE MAIN CAT that's who! X
It has only gone and done that silly billy publishing thing when I am not prepared for it as if to get me back for saying things about the adverts.  I know.X
In other more exciting non birthday news, Owner is still busy at home and not at work not lifting anything heavier than a kettle.  if all the advisors had said DO NOT LIFT anything approaching Wonka, Owner thinks that is a better measure.  has she been relaxing and watching wall to wall tv, boxsets and films.  NOT a bit of it.  Instead she went off out, saying she would be back soon and instead shuffled back in HOURS later with a new hairdo.  THAT LOOKS NICE OWNER I said desperate for some tea time.  I LIKE IT she said rushing to wash it and blow dry it and spray it into submission.  Folks.  it looks a treat and was well worth all those hours with bits of paper on her head.X
In the wicked world of nasty downright silly politics we were liking anna soubry but now! maintenant, we have changed our minds because she won't keep still about brexit INFACT she is keen on it now.  the latest hashbrown on it is exit from brexit and we love it.  Vinnie Canble is heading up a MARCH and you know he is our fave senior politician and that jezzer is bottom of the list.  he may be tending to his allotment we don't know.  As for Tresa Grey she has grabbed a few headlines for refusing to talk to someone or other.  Same old same old.X
Thankfully amongst all the birthdays and hairdos and non kettle lifting there has been Corrie and Enders.  In Enders there was a gas explosion which unfortunately didn't carry off the long list of characters that Owner had prepared.  We are struggling to think of one.  BUT a gun went off (don't ask) and shot Jonnie that is thingy and Mick's son AND jane was left to die in the burning bistro thing that is Ian's. Despite loving her to the bench and back, he did nothing to save her and left it to mad max to leave her to die in there.  Is she dead? is she heck.  last but not least, stephen the one with the pretend everything is now dead.  HURRAH!! over in Corrie Reetah has come up with an ace excuse for forgetting stuff which is to blame it on the blood pressure tablets.  like the rest of the nation Owner went to google this to see if that was aged parent's demise.....Feelan the big bad wolf next to that other one who pretends to love everyone but doesn't (Meechelles' ex) is busy convincing Andy who he has kidnapped and kept in a cellar THAT HE IS going to set him free!! Only andy believes him so far.   We love it to shreds.  tonight it is the battle of the Strictly and the Hex Factor with Casualtee sewn on the end.  We love it we do.X
Next week is the big week for Owner and my work will be cut out making that day a special day.  it means checking on ruggles and Bertrude to the nth degree to see they are behaving.  Can I help it if all they do is HISS in my face and put their paws up? can I? Ruggles is fast over on the blanket box and Bertrude did pop out from under the bed for her breakfast and a small spat with me. I love them.x
Now do avoid being the wake of a hurricane or earthquake if you can they are very dangerous and we send lots of thoughts and keep safes to you if you are there.  NATURE droned Owner, will get us in the end. Either that or that chappie who is playing with fire over on the other side of the world.  Now do keep your furry chins up folks! tingle those whiskers and pad softly forward in the week ahead.  you never know it could be the best week of your life!!
Big Love Wonka X