Monday, 30 June 2014

Dive in Mundee

Wonka here:  Lord love a I don't know where that came from!! Mundee is here and good folks out there all around the Wold, everyone are still on about #Robbens Dive!!  yes, and Owner watched it all happen....her verdict?  according to Owner he was tripped up and took full advantage of it.  Eventually Holland did win just like we wanted them to.  What else you all gasp eager for more news.  Columbia we think beat good Uruguay (without any biting!) and we even now glued to Nigeria v France.  Can #Karim sock it to them?  Owner thinks Nigeria are going for it.  Me?  thanks for asking, and it is bonne chance to France!!!!  Je t'adore!!

Dive into the day Para..  Owner has been very focussed and even (unprecedented..ooer) plugged in the monster upstairs.  Usually it sits there until it needs a bit of a dust over itself but oh no, I AM GOING TO HOOVER UPSTAIRS she announces.  I stayed put on the sideboard and Bertie has stayed pretty much in his downstairs lair all the day.  Is he alright you all pester to know?  At the last sighting he was gobbling down a salmon terrine sheba and looked fine.  End of Bertie report.  What else has Owner been doing to relax you all wonder....she did a washing in record time, and wanted to do another ( I said leave it), she has made the bed so fast I did not have time to help (by laying on it) and has been to the shops too.  Also, she has done the accounts (I hid under the bed for that) and made a phone call all without shouting or crying.  Again, this is a first.  We could put it down to the Vit C dosage OR just time out setting.  When you are having some TIME OUT you can deal with things.  I should know.  This is my life's work.  I love it.

Fresh diving in para.  for today's good photoshoot Owner has done a little cartoon for you good folks, and it is of.....the new shoes!!
here we are!! they are black leather too and the good assistant is bewildered by it all.  that is me safe at home and.....full of hope!!  we love it.
Fresh and final diving like a robben para.  Now tonight beyond the footie and the tennis as there is no escape and we have a new heroine!!  it is Miss Bouchard and she is from good Canada and as solid as a rock.  Me and Owner both supporting all the way. Unless we fall in love with someone else and we might.  Tomorrow is good US of A v Belgium and who knows but those pesky americans will all go MAD if they win!!  Now last night Owner managed to stay up and watch good Casualtee and nice Tess was in a train crash but good fletch her ex love of her life even though he was married rescued her.  yes.  and then agreed to LET HER GO.  all were crying except Charley nursey who without hardly saying a word advised him what to do.  We love him.  tonight we must follow Corrie for a whole hour and it is on early.  it will be charming bracelets maybe, gingertop and that new girl maybe and perhaps a little arrest of the WRONG MAN.   It is on early  BE WARNED I said to Owner in between her rushing around doing a little job here and a little job there with no relaxing in sight.  me?  I deserve a medal as I sat nicely on the linen basket while teddy bear ruggles came in and devoured some of my good as it gets pouches.  I honestly cannot praise myself enough.  VERY GOOD Wonka goes Owner barely noticing me.  She loves me.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka X  PS yes we are watching murray mint and kevin bash it out....who will win out?? xx

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Simple Sundee

Wonka here.  every so often we have one of those days where we just get up, do a little bit of housework and THEN RELAX. .... alright Owner did get the monster out (I MUST HOOVER) and I sped quickly upstairs.  Bertie was already safe in his air raid shelter stroke wardrobe.  I must say once you get in there you can't hear too much of anything.  It's alright she goes lugging the monster into the bedroom, I am just standing it in here ready.  OH I said.  if we had been in an army regiment, and Owner had been our drill sergeant she would have said AT EASE.  I love it.

Simple and new para.  Owner popped to the baths and thankfully did not see Mick or Ian there (my little joke) and reports it was warm and fairly child free, just a few adults swimming back and forth.  This is good news to Owner as it means she is not rude to anyone for getting in her way. We are now surrounded by not one set of papers but two.  One is from yesterdee, with about five or six supplements to get through and now she has bought another proper Sundee one.  WHY TWO I ventured fighting my way through a sea of paper and magazines.....I didn't think I would buy the one today she goes, then I thought why not.....Now that Owner is fully immersed in the footie not to mention good Wimbledon she reads the sports supplement which before lined the floor for our luxury trays.  (sorry England) (and all the other world cup teams.  it is nice to look at you all though...).  sorry Just realised I have mentioned the footie.  me and Owner shouted through Brasil v Chile mostly saying things like THAT WAS A GOAL and HOW CAN THE REFERREE SEE IT....the verdict was it was a handball but Brasil went and won it on penalties thank you Neymar.  Poor chile who ran like a pack of ants up and down that pitch lost out due to that.  We loved it.

Yes it is still simple Para.  fly in the ointment you all gasp up??  NO CASUALTEE because of the match.  we have high hopes it is on tonight or Owner will be too far out of her comfort zone and then so will I.  We may tune into Holland v Mexico as we support the Robbins.  Now Owner has been watching Charlotte's web which is an ace story about a little pig Wilbur and a spider called Charlotte - we did not know it was written by an American E B White in 1952!!!  We were entranced.  And we recommend this as our story of the week.  Owner's other revelation (like it like it) is a new book written by the chappie that walked the high wire between the twin towers, and he is called Philippe Petit, the book is called Creativity and is out July 24th.  Why are you so in love with him I asked up.  He is magic, said Owner, I like his philosophy of life.  OH I said back.  For our good photoshoot you will be delighted to know it is me!!!  simply relaxing which is what I do best...
There I am!!  with Owner's portrait of me at back and next to that is good Tinkerbelle the little wooden cat carved by Owner's dad.....xxxx
Last simple para....Owner is all set for a relaxing week ahead (now where did I hear that before) and me?  thanks for asking, I can but try......Ruggles has been in mid morning and chomped through 4 - 5 of my good to eat pouches.  Bertie is now on best Sheba and biscuits which he seems to favour in the deep of the night. OTHER CATS, goes Owner, don't have food round the clock but I did point out that if Owner is kind enough to leave us overflowing troughs of biscuits in case we starve in the night, then Bertie is bound to take advantage.  me?  I can go without thank you.  If we can get through the footie and the Doctors and Nurseys and stumble off to bed in one piece we will say thank you very much simple Sundee!  Here follows a small update on the match (Holl v Mex) we have been reading up on all the penalties stuff and more on bitey Suirez with some interesting comments but Owner is now summing up thus:  Wonka, it is a huge enterprise with a lot of £s and $s riding on it.  and where there is power and money................bringing it all back to earth then!  Holland are not scoring and neither are Mexico.  There is a lot of huffing and puffing as it is boiling and the usual shoving and falling down.  Owner wants Holland to win it and so do I (sorry Mexico)...Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it..and let us all have a creative week!  big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 28 June 2014

Anyone for Tennis Satdee

Wonka here.  I SLEPT LIKE A LOG goes Owner, and blow me down if I didn't snuggle up to little jammy dodger stroke Bertie in the night.  perhaps if you did more snuggling instead of hissing I would sleep soundly every night goes Owner.  But I didn't hear her above sneaking a look at Bertie in the wardrobe and getting a big Hiss as a reaction.  Dreams?  VERY DETAILED goes Owner, all about this chap and I was telling him all about myself.  and then there was a party involving chocolate and biscuits.  and a wife.  OH I said. Now the weather has hardly had a mention but in keeping with Wimbledon and Glastonbury (we know what is going down!) it has been raining and cool.  Today you all shout up?  COOL AND LIGHT DRIZZle goes Owner observing from the window.  And freezing she goes when she came back from the luxury shed. 

Fresh tennis ridden para.  Tinkers and Rug both called for breakfast and Rug had his usual prodigal son welcome.  (that is Owner's fave parable and can be applied to cats.)  Now on the good telly is a re run with lots of different folks talking up, of Murray mint's win last year.  this could cause trouble as you know Owner supports Novak and Rafa and will only cheer on Murray mint if no one else left in it.  BUT, with me Wonka for support, Andy Murray the Mint should bash his way through like a breeze.  yes there is Daddy Federer to support too and Bertie is now championing him.  if  Ruggles were to champion anyone it will have to be an outsider who needs lots of looking after.... we will carefully select from the women's singles and we do rather like Sabine and nice Caroline.  The big plus will be if neither of them shout and grunt as they serve as this DRIVES ME MAD says Owner.  I love it and I do like to watch that little yellow ball go back and forth...

Fresh nearly finished with the tennis para.  Ooh sorry the footie is back on today! we may watch a little Brazil v Chile to wet our appetites...that is after beloved Rafa.  so our photoshoot is of course all about tennis:
There we are shouting at the good telly (Owner) and the usual is it in IN no it is OUT and then they challenge it and it is IN!! I am on the good settee trying to doze off a bit and Bertie down the side.  We love it.
Final for tennis and footie para.  yesterdee was a footie free zone and we caught up with good Corrie and Enders.  There is a surprise turn in Corrie as good Deardree (was on the phone to Ken) spies the dog tugging at something and WOE it is a charm bracelet and WOE Owner thinks it was teenah's dropped in all the murdering what does she do?  She washes it and the entire household have now touched it.  Peetah first.  yes.  And another turn.  What can it be you all gasp??  The nice girl that gingertop Gary spent the night with has been introduced as Kal's daughter!!  Who is Kal you all gasp up next??  Kal is the nice lad who runs the gym and has snuggled up with Leeane who was married to Nick and maybe still is.  How is Nick taking this you all want to know.  BADLY.  We love it.  Over in Enders Mick has taken the plunge and much to Owner's amazement we spied Ian at the barfs!! Owner could not get over it and kept repeating it.  The Swimming Baths!  We have never ever seen anyone at the baths in all these years!!  Has Mick grown any new family whilst he was there?  Well when he realises that Shirlee is not his good sister but his poor mother he will find all his family are reshuffled!  Goodness me!!  Tonight we must watch a little bit of Brazil v Chile and Owner is firmly shouting up for Neymar.  those Chile babes she goes SWARM ALL OVER THE PITCH!!  We shall see.  At the moment it is one all.  Darling Rafa won his match and Federer is rushing on into his little match and the last we saw of him there was just him on the score board.  Owner reckons if we give him ten minutes he will have polished off his opponent in three straight sets.  Oh there is that silly billy safe game on beeb one with good Nick thingmy playing a quiz game that Owner states as RIDICULOUS.  So we will be glued to it, and then to round us off and see us into our pits is good Casualtee.  Good Doctor Zoe has hung up her consultant manager head of team thing and now career driven Connie is at the helm..  So we like Connie yet.  NO.  We love her.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and don't overdose too much on sport.  may the best side win!!  big Love Wonka x

Friday, 27 June 2014

Footie free Fridee

Wonka here.  Yes it's true.  There is NO FOOTIE today just some highlight things and the usual talking about who went through who didn't and thingy's biting ban.  Owner says it is Luis Suirez or near enough. (give a tooth or two!).  some say it is a FAIR ban, and others say NOT.  the ones saying not tend to be from Uruguay said Owner.  As you know I remain impartial (just look at me!) because I am prone to biting (and scratching.  mostly Owner) and have never been banned from anything except the kitchen when Ruggles is in it.  I love it.

Fresh footloose and fancy free para.  We will try not to mention footie again.  Now today is an important day for Owner as the good shoe shop has been in touch.  YES.  to say the shoes which she spent an hour or more of her life deciding on are IN STORE.  Will she like them?  Will they fit?  it is all to play for and remember, Owner spied another pair of shoes that she liked but daren't tell the assistant who was back and forth speaking into a little radio thing to UPSTAIRS.  We think there may be shoe elves upstairs trotting around with pairs of shoes and sandals saying things like: would she be better off with a size 5?  and I prefer these in the tan don't you??  I will keep you posted on this and there may even be a photoshoot.  We love it.

More footie free news Para.  Even now Owner is patiently (yes really) waiting for the REPAIR MAN.  She had a nice text on wednesdee and then yesterdee proclaiming the news that they will be with Owner between 9 05 and 13 05. on Fridee.  And we have checked it is Fridee and it is between that time and Owner says NOTHING HAS HAPPENED YET.  In the meantime. we have a good photoshoot of Bertie for you.  he is still popping out possibly 2 to 3 metres away from the yard in a blind spot and counting out the time to 5 or 6 mins when he can safely cling to the good back door saying PLEASE LET ME IN, as I live here now.  The good cartoon shows him doing what he loves best nestling in the wardrobe.
There he is amongst dare I say it, loads of shoe boxes.  I did mention to Owner that she has lots of shoes and boots and when will she ever wear them again and could she give some away, but she is keeping them all IN CASE. Likewise good folks out there clinging onto your out of date wardrobe and clothes you cannot get back it time for a clearout???  Owner says everything comes back into fashion eventually.  Even that top I said from under the bed.....She loves it.
Final footie free para.  Update update:  Ah yes the repair man cometh.  Me?  thanks for asking, well as soon as the knock on the door came I sped upstairs as we never know if it is the Vikings, monsters from Mars or perhaps Godzilla out there.  Bertie remained in Narnia cupboard ready to be beamed up at any time....  IS IT FIXED you all shout up!  it's an oven in need of (list) 1.  a new thermostat and 2. a new thingy, that heats the grill thingy.  It's now just a simple matter goes Owner, of arranging another time to be in.  OH I goes back once I had come out of hiding and inspected the kitchen for any hidden monsters and that.  I love it.
Final still a bit of tennis on para.  yes we had to just watch beloved Novak who was playing a French chappie called Gilles Simon.  I DO LIKE THAT NAME goes Owner.  and you pronounce it Cimmon (like Tim said Owner) (I said Simon is nothing like Tim...).  Novak has survived a fall on court!  he did look a bit shaky and Owner was concerned but after a short medical break He GOT BACK TO IT.  Our tennis knowledge has grown hugely (like this word) and we now understand tie breaks, set breaks, swapping sides and challenges.  We love it.  Tonight Owner is going to make every effort to watch Corrie now it has stepped up with a fresh and intriguing storyline for our gingertop Gary.  Instead of bashing Felan filanguering nasty builder's head in he is having an affair instead!!  MAKE LOVE NOT WAR says Owner!!  And then there is Gail and her prison burglar and penfriend....  in Enders we are not sure what is happening....bring back Carol's scarf and Masood, and Janine and David! Instead we have to follow the fortunes of Mick and his family who are changing who they are to who in record timing.  in a minute, Mick's wife will turn out to be his cousin twice removed and Shirlee will grow another lost sibling or child even OR a pet (that is my suggestion!!). and they will hate her.  Who loves you Shirlee!!  we do.  Now it has been a nice relaxing day and Owner has followed the good repairman's instructions re the cooker.  It is full on and blasting out the heat.  talking of heat Owner has caved in.  again.  YES the heating is on.  I rest my paws and everything.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  big love Wonka x

Thursday, 26 June 2014

Go Rafa Thursdee

Wonka here.  Sunshine all the way it is here good folks out there possibly enjoying the same.  This has set Owner's mood to GOOD and SUNNY.  What else to report you say?  dreams? Owner says for a change was not (list) 1.  having a row with someone 2.  in a school 3.  moving house 4. climbing an impossible hill/stairway/construction like in the Poseidon adventure with Gene Hackman saving the Wold...  We love it.

Fresh full of Rafa news para. yes, has he done it again, and got through his match v Rosol or somesuch lad from the Czech republic (Owner looked it up on the map and said ooh that looks small and I said compared to??) but Rafa our numero uno wiped his brow and got on with it.  We love him nearly as much as Novak.  And as you know I am rooting for Murray mint.  Just like his Mum Judy.  We love her.  have you been doing anything else except being glued to the sport you all chirp up and say?  Well Owner is now slowly coming round to this taking a break thing and has been down to the sea.  We have some lovely snaps to show you and this is her fave:
Here we are with a nice seagull in the shot specially for me said Owner, and I love it.
Fresh Rafa driven para.  They don't get to the number one spot for nothing and once again Owner is inspired by these sports people.  He just found SOME MORE she said.  I know what she means as often when I think ooh how I would like a little snooze or resting up instead I have to go and check on Bertie, or give a little hiss at Ruggles, never mind playing with a toy or two to amuse Owner.  But, these are the things we have to do good folks out there all finding more strength for the end of this week.  Come to think of it, I am feeling a tad peckish.............I love it.
Final go Rafa para.  Now last night we fitted in some Corrie amongst all the other sport.  Was there any sport in it you all want to know?  Well we can count Kylie sending in her funny not letter to Michael the bungled burglar sitting in prison and the letter more or less says that Gail and him are soulmates waiting to happen... elsewhere, Nice Nick is not taking nicely to his Lianne now snuggling up with Kal (or Cal??).  Even though team Tracy has GUILTY written all over Rob's face no one has arrested him as yet.  Owner's says there have been convictions on even more slender evidence.  OH I says back.  Tonight we have YES MORE FOOTIE and we are on with good US of A v Germany.  no one is scoring and it is heavy rain. The biting football player had been banned for a short spell which most are talking up as fair.  I cannot say anything as I have been known to bite (by accident) and told off accordingly.  THAT WAS HORRID Wonka I believe Owner said to me.  Scratching is more my thing and Owner says no football player has been banned for that as yet.   Now if we can manage it there is good Holby City appearing tonight instead of Tuesdee to confuse us and then celebrity masterchef with a whole new batch of them.  We might know some of them or not.  We love it.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Squaring up Wednesdee

Wonka here.  Before you ask, YES WE DID! Owner did the usual wake up in the deep of the night and then not go back to sleep toss turn turn toss thinking about every single eensy weensy problem in her life starting and ending with being poverty stricken before dropping off and getting up at 9am.  Yes 9am.  Me and Bertie?  slumbered on too.  We loved it.

Fresh Square up to it Para.  Now that Owner is taking it easy you all gasp, you probably have nothing to tell us about her. NOT SO.  Other people have breaks (and breakdowns, which as you know have been written about at length by Owner) and sit around eating, drinking watching a bit of telly reading books and plenty of zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  NOT OWNER.  Shall I do a washing?  she says to me first thing, I said how about a nice breakfast and read some of the paper bits from Satdee?  I know she says I will SORT OUT THE BROKEN OVEN AND GRILL.  Oh yes I said, because that's a restful thing to do.  And I must own up to running upstairs and under the bed whilst Owner got on the phone to the Wherever you are people who for a good monthly fee, will come out and repair it (whatever has gone wrong) (If only they could repair Owner's stress setting we'd be laughing...).  I could hear the phone call though and when Owner finished she reported that:  if I have been called love, sweetart, lovely, dear, back to the start...once he called me anything but my NAME.  and said I might not be the right person I might be masquerading as the person with the COVER.....Are they coming to fix it I ventured from the top of the stairs.  FRIDEE she goes, ANYTIME FRIDEE with a 30 minute warning.  personally, I think this service could be sent to any war zone and sort it out promptly by asking a series of daft winding up questions and then setting a day when the entire army is resting up to end the war.  Just saying.  I love it.

Fresh squared off para.  so for today's good cartoon we have this:

There she is lugging back more cement mix aka luxury litter and cans and pouches for Me, Bertie and Ruggles top.  She has included the new rose which is doing nicely.  We love it.  and Owner too.
Final all square para.  last night was a strange night with nothing on but footie or tennis and in the footie the demon player who saw Eng out of it, has again taken the spotlight FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS! Until someone pronounces it as a FACT, says Owner, it is ALLEGED.  OH I goes.  Well this player looks like he is biting another player.  yes.  And if it is a bite and not an illusion, this will be his third one.  OH DEAR goes Owner, thinking of Neymar our golden boy, and Robin and even Messi who seem to concentrate more on goal scoring that making the headlines.  We did watch Enders and cannot understand why Shazzer is in possession of a shotgun.  Nor why Shirlee's son (no not Mick that is still a secret with FIL) is being nasty as she is not that horrid.  Back in the Vic, Mick keeps going to the baths and a bit like Owner doesn't get a swim in.  And that family keep on growing and reforming so that no one else gets a look in really.  tonight we have good Corrie and who knows who will get arrested this time, it could be Rita as she did have a row with Teenah before nasty Rob bashed her head in but likely suspect?  Norris will step in surely.   And when will Steve's mate's girlfriend get found out?  all these double lives when we can only just struggle along with the one.... footie?  we are even now clinging to Nigeria v Argentina it is a cracking match says Owner and is 2 all.  hang on, there is another goal by ARG!!  all are still on about England and the Manager and so on.  But says Owner, they all did their best.  Now Ruggles turned up late for his breakfast and again got the welcome of his life.  Bertie has had another brush out and Me? thanks for asking, just trying to rest up and enjoy the sunshine from the top of the sideboard.  Oh the tennis!!  Beloved Novak is battling away with Stepanek and is keeping cool and calm as we would expect of him.  Murray mint  trotted through his second match like a winner and no sight of Rafa as yet.  Stepanek has just finished off a volley by laying on the court.  We like him.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Tough Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Slumber on we did until Owner said TIME TO GET UP and thought may have overdone it.  But all was fine, and I overtook Bertie on the stairs.  yes he managed to get a hiss in and if there was a referee like in the good football it might have been a yellow card or a free kick thing.  Owner says she is the said referee thank you very much and didn't think I was offside (we are not sure about this rule) but would have warned both of us.  As it is dustbin day when Bertie asked to go out usually 2 mins after using the luxury tray, Owner dithered on this.  WHAT IF HE GETS SCARED?  she says to me.  I did say that he is already scared and cannot be anymore scared by bins or monsters from outer space or whatever is lurking out back, but she didn't hear me above letting him out.  and blow me down if he wasn't back 2 seconds in front of a dustbin being moved down the passage way.  CLEVER BERTIE! goes owner as if he had just invented the cat wonder I called you Bertie, she continued (like it) as it is short for ALBERT! as in jealous? not in my nature...mostly.  I love it.

Tough nut para.  Now Ruggles did not call for his teatime and Owner went on a slight worrywart.  As it was a bad day at black rock yesterdee it could have grown into a giant worrywart but guess what turned the tables on it all??  NEYMAR!!  I am just going to take a peek at the Brazil v Cameroon she said. Well, one minute all was dark and dingy and the next she was shouting about this goal and that goal and DID YOU SEE THAT!  In the first half Neymar was shoved to the ground by this giant Cameroon player and he picks himself up and the next thing is whisking the ball into the net!!  Owner says was inspired by it.  I may write a fan letter to Neymar to say thanks for cheering Owner up on such a gloom ridden evening.  it even helped her make a tough decision good folks out there all having a half decent day we hope.......... I am going to get up tmro Wonka (that is today now) and sort things out sensibly she goes....did she you all gasp?  I am proud to say that when Owner set off early to the job that sometimes falls short when the little people make it worth it, she went to a meeting (gasp) did her job nicely (more gasp) and then talked to a good person about having a break.  This is opposed (like this word) to throwing the towel in.  Fancy you being sensible I said when she trots back in all proud of herself.  I KNOW she said.  I love it.  So for our good cartoon it is of course the Star man himself, NEYMAR!
And there he is!  Just imagine carrying the hopes of your country into the game...........we love him.
Toughish new para.  so there it is good folks Owner has managed a tough decision and also SPOKE UP for herself.  I am pleased because it means more time for Owner to spend on me.  Me first, then Bertie then good Ruggles who marched in this morning and was given a heroes welcome by Owner.  I thought maybe we had won the lottery (don't mention the finances....) but no it was just Owner glad to see teddy bear Ruggles.  I did nip in to try and sniff him close up but ran off at the last minute....  I love him sort of.
Final tough day down para.  Yes we are watching England play out the last game before coming home.  No they haven't scored but then neither has The Weasel - we think he is there for Costa Rica.  here follows another of Owner's famous predictions:  Holland (and Robin), Brazil (Neymar) and maybe France.  Now tonight there is nothing on except footie and tennis.  Tennis you all shout up is that all you do watch sport! Funny you should say that, but if it keeps Owner on the straight and narrow then sport it is. Mr Federer is through his little match and that nice Serena is bashing the ball at the moment.  of course if Owner is relaxing and having that much needed time out, then we will be sported up to the gunnels.  overflowing with it.  yes we have checked and blow me down but Enders is squashed in somehow between games.  Roxy and foxy those dread sisters seemed to be in the last one we watched, with Foxy packing her bags and leaving.  but not before talking to FIL.  he seems to be the new keeper of the Square's secrets.  I never had FIL down for the confiding in type goes Owner, and we really are lost in the maze of secrets going round not to mention Dot and her phoney grandson one.  Now if like Owner you are on the brink of a decision, watching a game of footie could reveal your answer!  in the meantime, I must watch for Ruggles and check on Bertie too.  Do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Monday, 23 June 2014

Had Enough Mundee

Wonka here.  Yes it was another of those nights.  Yes I have scrapped with Bertie.  yes we have all had enough today.   it started off cool went red hot and I mean how are we to know what to wear good folks out there?  Owner trudged off in enough clothing to keep anyone WARM AND SNUG.  The alarm was too loud, the music on good radio 2 was not to owner's liking...I HATE THAT ONE she goes, and it is all doom and gloom.  Me?  thanks for asking, had my breakfast and watched Ruggles eat his from afar, alright I did creep up to sniff him once but Owner saw me and chased me out of the kitchen.  yes I did have something to say but when Owner is on had enough setting, it is best to say it in a whisper from a distance.  I love it.

Fresh had more than enough para.  So when Owner comes back light years later without any new clothes (to take back tmro) I mistakenly though she had avoided spending our hard earned cash.  NOT SO.  after a long period of deliberation (quote) says Owner, I chose a pair of shoes that have to be ordered in.  Just how long was this period I dared to ask?......HALF AN HOUR she said.  My heart and everything goes out to the poor shop assistant as picture this.  First off, Owner wanted these shoes in size 4 no FOUR AND A HALF...then while that is happening does Owner spy another better shoe and tries this on and wants this in size.......FIVE oh and FOUR AND A HALF.  While this is happening Owner tries on another shoe which is nothing like the shoe she thought she wanted.  yes I am still awake but are you listening out there in the wold good folks!!!  At the very last minute Owner changed from patent to plain leather and assures me that the assistant did not go mad.  I pray she likes them when they get to the shop.  I DON'T HAVE TO BUY THEM I can change my mind she said.  Goodness!  I think this option has been invented purely for OWNER but dare not say in case my teatime is delayed.  We love it.

More than enough para.  this is what really finished Owner offski.  Back she comes from the job that could be perfect with a few thousand minor adjustments.  WHY CAN'T PEOPLE WORK TOGETHER she drones on and I said Owner if that happened the whole world would be as one (is there a song there somewhere??) ...all you good folk out there in the Wold must be up against the same lack of team spirit BUT and I say this in despair at Owner BUT without throwing the towel in.  I don't need this malarkey goes Owner....who we all know is never given to bouts of rudeness or go it alone syndrome.  hmmm.  Despite this we are hoping for a peaceful night.  For our photoshoot, Owner has come up with a blue sky........
We think that is a bird against the sky and not a smudge... who can say!!  we love it.  Mr Blue Sky.
Today is more than enough para.  Yes Wimbledon has begun again.  And Novak and Murray mint are doing Ok.  No one has been knocked out in the first round.  Owner loves Novak who is 2 sets up to Golubev...he is a father to be and that is just as exciting said Owner.  The bit we saw of Murray mint had him smiling which took us aback rather as we know this is not normal.  I love him and I don't think he is expecting anything.  FOOTIE you all shout up?  We think the US of A is still in with a shout and Thurs is their final debut to go through.  We are looking at Hol v Chi which is nil nil. Other hot news is that Algeria scored against Korea and this is amazing.  I SAID IT WOULD BE  A SURPRISE goes Owner.  yes a bit like you and your job I said from upstairs and well under the bed.... now tonight to keep Owner in fairly decent spirits is a double dose of Enders and Corrie.  Enders it seems is still clinging onto the Shazzer v Shirlee storyline and I mean who in their right mind would fight for FIL's affections...but this begs the question.  In Corrie we think Teenah is having a funeral which can only mean a big fight over the open grave.  If we are still awake and caring after all of that we might watch some more footie as it does seem to calm owner down a the meantime, Bertie went out for his usual 2 - 3 minutes before throwing himself back in the good back door and is now in the cupboard.  Rug is due for his evening chomp and come to think of it I feel a mite peckish.  do go steady out there in the wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Magic Moments Sundee

Wonka here.  did we sleep in or did we sleep in YES we slumbered on and on. 
This was due to Owner being woken up in the night by me and Bertie.  alright it was just Bertie as I do a silent growl working up slowly to a full on scrap whilst Bertie starts his growling in advance.  in any case IT WAS NOT ME... the upshot to this was Owner dreamt more than usual about all sorts of things including giant tortoises. mobile phones, classrooms ( I said this is not unusual Owner) and more car journeys.  Sometimes the cars are cars and other times not.  And when you sleep in goes Owner IT PUTS EVERYTHING OUT.  We love it.

Magic moment para.  so what you all pipe up and say is this magic moment??  It so happened that Owner suddenly got a move on to go swimming.  BLIMEY she said is that the time and got ready including hair wash and cleaning our luxury trays in record time.  Off she sped to the good swimming baths to find that there was a swimming gala instead.  I COULD NOT SWIM IN THERE she told me later, so she decides to go to the other happy place to swim.  When I asked if it was general swimming the man said IT IS CLOSED FOR A PRIVATE PARTY.  so how come you all patiently say there was a magic moment??  this happy place is called that because when Owner was a child she came here with the family for her first holiday by the sea.  It was a holiday camp in Filey and had its own little beach.  We had to get on a little train and go down there every day goes Owner, and I lost my bucket and spade off it.  Woe, I said to this.  And I got lost all the time too.  So when the swimming pool was shut Owner walked down by the sea possibly to the same beach that all those years ago (Owner said I must not repeat how many if I want my teatime.  So I agreed) she played on as a child.  Was it busy? I ventured (get me).  NO she said back.  But I wished I had a dog to go down there with me.  You can imagine good folks out there how this made me feel as I am not a dog and never will be.  BUT I'VE GOT YOU Wonka she said and made me feel alright again.  I love it.

Next magic para.  For our photoshoot today we have a good cartoon of Owner swimming at the baths that is sometimes open for all:
This is at the first Baths that Owner tried to swim in, and where is she you all shout up?  Over on the left hand side folks!! coming towards the side and just to her right is a SERIOUS SWIMMER and up above some children mucking about.  At the second baths, there is a special lane cordoned off called a FAST LANE.  There is room in it for one swimmer said Owner and that is me.  Are you rude to other swimmers who try and get in it I said.  A BIT she goes back.  I love it.
Final magic moment para.  but the day was saved by the walk down by the sea bringing back memories of family holidays and when life was pretty simple.  (we used to call Baba simple but he didn't mind!).  Now when Owner returned all dreamy from her walk she did bring shopping and more supplies.  She had been to the maze like supermarket and been alright in it.  No monsters followed her and she found some food.  for us.  Now we haven't mentioned footie as yet but here we go....all the England team one by one are having their say.  Like, how sad they are, how disappointed they are and how gutted they are.  And for the nth time how their Manager will not resign.  Owner said whenever it is reported that so and so will not resign the next thing you hear is that they have resigned.  OH I said.  We have got a footie match on and it is Russia v Belgium and nothing but nothing is happening.  they have a player on the Russian side called Shatov said Owner.  and a Manager called Capello (she thinks) I mean those are winning sort of names if you ask me.  We would watch the USA v Portugal but why is it on so late??  Last snippet on Russian team their goalie is called Igor.  We love him.  Now tonight thankfully Casualtee is back on and we can shout up for Zoe Doctor or whatever she is doing and BOO to the backstabbing Connie and her Dark Lord who is also in Holbee City.  Goodness knows what this coming week will bring and let us hope we have the strength for it.  I did say to Owner she is only watching the Russia v Belgium so she can listen to Mr Thierry talk it through.  And check out what he is wearing but she didn't hear me above looking in the poor oven to see if it is still working.  Please be working Oven!  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and have a wonderful magic moment week! big Love Wonka x PS Mr Thierry is a picture in a dark red sport shirt top thing Owner says burgundy and light jeans.  x

Saturday, 21 June 2014

Wall to Wall footie Satdee

Wonka here.  I must say if Owner watches anymore footie I'm going to suggest she applies to talk about it on one of these panels.  After all, we all know that everyone is looking at what they are wearing (Mr Thierry) working out who they are (Clarence) understanding what they are on about (not sure think he Scottish) or just thinking, what a nice young man (Rio)....and this offside rule, well no one seems to get that, and as for the yellow card thing, all that happens is they throw themselves on the pitch and make it look like they have been tripped up or smacked round the head.  Owner reports she has seen better acting on the pitch than in Enders but I said that is not asking for too much.... (sorry Enders!)....  So back home with our England Team and to say goodbye properly Owner has done a good cartoon.  meanwhile we are on with Arg v Irn and no one yes NO ONE has scored.  not even good Messi who everyone talks about.
So there is our good Team heading home and who we wonder will make it to Rio and the grand finale??  Owner has this to say (head in paws)  she likes Holland and Robin, she likes France and Karim, then Neymar and last but not least the Weasel for Costa Rica....we love it.
Fresh shouting and groaning footie para.  Owner has checked and it really is footie all night long, NO CASUALTEE she goes, but that is on tmro.....there is always Robocop I ventured and it does say it is fast moving action packed with stunning special effects on the packet.  yes we are still talking about the film not our life or the footie.  Now when we came too this good morn Rug was waiting nicely on the step and it was a good sunny morn.  And when Owner stumbled back in from her shopping (yes she bought something and yes it fits.  No she didn't need it not at all) there he was again splayed on the back step in the glorious sunshine. I surpassed (get me!) myself by staying on the linen box and just looking at him a tiny bit when I thought he wasn't looking.  VERY GOOD Wonka goes Owner standing nearby her nerves ready to burst into action.  but it was alright, he headed off only giving me a small hiss of acknowledgement on the way to freedom.  Bertie hisses more to be fair.  Where is he you all enquire?  in the wardrobe upstairs until he thinks he is starving and he will trot down.  A very poor advert for us felines.  At least I play with my toys and make Owner laugh.  She loves it.
Final longest day para.  yes good folks out there possibly enjoying your longest day too, it is the Summer Solstice and we enjoy lots of daylight.  There is more time to have fun in, visit in, feed in or watch the footie in.  We love it.  The rose is still bloomin and Owner has fed it.  WHAT WITH I said not a tiny bit jealous especially when Owner read the side of the packet.  URGH she goes.  But it is organic so that is a good thing.   Last night we coped well with Enders and recovering Shazzer and annoying Shirlee.  We've got to talk FIL she goes.  Well that will be a first for either of them said Owner as Fil's preferred method is to whisper loudly.  In one word sentences.  Bring back Carol's scarf, and Masood while you're at it.  We clung onto Celebrity masterchef and watched the right people go OUT leaving thingy out of JLS and Amanda out of??  This summer could be a long one Owner reckons.  yes there is Wimbledon and all the ups downs and grunts and groans.  We love it.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 20 June 2014

Fresh start Fridee

Wonka here.  Of course we are watching ITALY V COSTA RICA!!!!   Owner says we must ease off gradually from this world cup fest but I rather like it now.....of course there is Wimbledon to look forward to and Murray mint.  Owner's hero is Novak and next best Rafa.  Now last night was a disaster as the whole Wold must know.  They are all on about defending this, and Suarez that and whether Rooney the other.  Basically WE LOST.  Owner did shout at the telly and this still didn't make the score any different.  The fact that the goal scorer was not on top form was the final nail in  the coffin.  Is there a bright side you all ask??  Here it is.  1.  Owner can name three or four of the English team now.   2.  She has an opinion on the match (but not now Owner!) 3.  she was able to discuss the game with other workmates (now they are workmates??)  We love it.

Fresh start again para.  Why are we starting again, because that's what we do we go WOE and OH NO and then we dust ourselves down and get on with it.  For Owner this means a fretful night of being too hot and waking up a million times before the alarm goes off saying has the alarm gone off yet.  Then it does and then we all fall properly asleep.  You will all want to know about the conked out grill and for some odd universal reason it was working this good morn.  Owner rushed off to have her hair done before rushing back and rushing out again to fit in a couple of hours work to save us from starving.  Then she dashed to the garden centre for some pots.  POTS? I queried (like it) YES Wonka we need to repot some plants.  so when she stumbled back in hours later with a full grown rose bush, about ten pots, two bags of earth (yes they sell this just like they sell water) and two packets of seeds I did wonder where the garden fete was.......Rose bush I said to Owner?  IT SMELLS DIVINE Wonka she goes, so I HAD TO BUY IT.  naturally this will change all our lives for the better and everytime Owner trudges to the luxury shed a whiff of this rose scent will waft by and cheer her on.  I love it.  Here it is for today's good photoshoot:
It is called Special Occasion so I said to Owner are we having one?  She said WE ARE NOW... it smells just like those roses you used to smell as a child,  and put your nose right into the bloom.  there is nothing as wonderful as that scent.  We love it.
Fresh scented start again para.   So it has been a repotting frenzy here, the minute I tried to have a snoozle or chase Bertie did Owner lift up another plant to repot it.  Yes even my fave wotsit plant is now resting up in a bigger pot. I do hope they survive the trauma of being tipped out of their snug security old pots into their new giant pots full of new bulb fibre. No, there was no warning about this Owner just took it into her head to go to B n Q straight from work.  I did say to Owner that she cannot seem to steer clear of the shops (and thereby save money) but she didn't hear me above dashing out back to water in the seedlings.  If they come up, they will be poppies and nightscented stock.  OH I said.  Flower power.  We love it.
Final scented nightime para.  Tonight we will have to watch Enders if only to see if Shazzer came out of the theatre with any new storylines or should we say better storylines!!  and where is her chimney sweep son in all of this?  Fil has been busy with Shirlee and surely there can't be any more secrets.....celebrity masterchef has started and in between watching England sink like a stone we did see some cooking, and the name Marcus Waring was mentioned too!  He is the one all are scared of and Owner says he is steely eyed.  Do we like him?  NO.  We love him.  So there we are good folks out there all enjoying your Fridee nights and maybe like us, you wish your side was doing better.  it is in the lap of the gods said Owner, what will happen next.
Extra extra!!  Costa Rica have just scored a goal!!  it really is the end for us now...... but well done CRC!!
Do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it good folks.  big Love Wonka xx

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Sock it to them Thursdee!!

Wonka here.  We could have all slumbered on this good morn and Owner does the usual JUST 5 MORE MINUTES Wonka zzzzzzzzzzz until she realised it could have been a lot longer than that.  Good Ruggles was perched on the doorstep ready for his first feed of the day and only hissed a tiny bit when I kept looking at him.  All we can think about is (me) will I like my saucer of food (I did) and will Bertie pinch it (he didn't) and will there be enough (Bertie - Owner thinks so and says he is tubby.  I call it Fat).  I love it.

Fresh sock it them para.  Owner had only just finished supervising our feeding frenzy and sipping a cup of tea when the first problem of the day does arrive.  it is the oven stroke grill.  it has conked out and there is a decision waiting to happen about fixing it.  it means phone calls (OH NO), explaining things (WOE) and wait for it...making an appointment for a good repair person to fix it.  Or not.  We have got as far as laying all the details on the table.  The next set of problems was to do with aged parent and is more or less a weekly thing.  It has taken Owner all night to come up with the idea of ringing up and talking rather than sending a good email.  I have advised Owner that the longer she takes to think things over (to arrive at the wrong decision) does the said problem become so large even Einstein could not solve it.  yes we know he is dead.   Owner reports that all the problems she talked about were magically sorted out by phone.  I can only hope, says Owner that Aged parent is on the end of this magic.   And then to round it off does Owner get a phone call from her good agency with instructions to be at her place of work for a certain time.  BUT THAT IS WHEN I START she goes all confused and feathers ruffled.  I must say it took me all my powers of looking cuddly, playing with my toys and everything to amuse her and bring her back round.  WHAT A MORNING she goes.  We love it.

Fresh fighting fit para.  WORLD CUP ALERT AND CARTOON!! now last night did good Spain suffer at the feet of Chile.  Owner says they were here there and everywhere (Chile) and fleet of foot.  We are sorry for Spain who could not get near their own goal for swarms of Chile footballers in the way.  So Spain go home, and cannot be champions for 2014.  Who will lift the cup?  Owner says it will be a surprise result in keeping with the game so far.  Does this mean we stand a glimmer of hope I ventured?  I wouldn't go that far said Owner.  Still, tonight we must cheer England on v Uruguay.  Owner has just noticed that the name RUG is in this good country spelling.  Is it an omen??  WE ARE AS GOOD AS THE NEXT TEAM goes Owner but when I asked who this was she didn't answer above boiling the rocket I mean kettle for a nice soothing cup of rosie lea.
Here we all are! for a change this cartoon is about the future -  Owner is waving flags at the good telly and Me and Bertie are on the giant nest aka the settee, or in Bertie's case behind it.  This will be us tonight at 8pm when it all kicks off!!  We would have preferred the good BBC to commentate as you know we are in love with Mr Thierry and Phil Neville.  Not to worry as we love it.
Final socks off Para.  So last night we were in for a surprise when Enders popped up and once more we had to endure Shirlee and Fil.  and more secrets and more I LUV YOOs (shirlee said to Fil) and it ended on the cliffhanger that Shazzer who is laid up in hospital thanks to some nasty robbers is to go to the theatre - well not before time said Owner, but it was for an operation....still not before time said Owner.  We love it.  Over in Corrie not the murderer but a bit of a loser Petah is still trying to win Carling Black eyebrows round to his way of thinking.  Which is I said to Owner?  Which is forgiving him for having a lovely time with Teenah whilst pretending to be a good and loving husband and possibly father to the bebeh.  She is having none of it, and bruvver Rob is working overtime to frame Petah for his own dastardly deed.  And Deardree wants Petah to stay!  Running away means HE DID IT.  We love it, and good Gail is busy writing letters to the bungly burglar Michael.  in prison.  How we managed to fit a football match in I do not know.....and feed Ruggles, and us.  Luckily it is just good Holby city and celebrity Masterchef tonight which we may or may not see.  COME ON ENGLAND!  yes other matches are available and good luck to all!  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it and do shout up for your team.  or not.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Wide Awake Wednesdee

Wonka here.  yes that's right we all slumbered away and Owner reports dreaming of School (again) (not horrible) (thank you) and her parents.  Bearing in mind good folks out there either with parents or without, well Owner has one this side of the divide and one the other.  Aged parent aka Mother is very firmly this side.  WAS IT A GOOD DREAM I ventured, enjoying a first thing cuddle and keeping an eye out for Bertie too.  I must be first downstairs otherwise my day will not go right.  IT WAS ALRIGHT goes Owner and IT WAS NICE TO SEE DAD.  she said she had told Mum that Dad was going to be the Cook.  OH I said.  And then the race for downstairs was on and the good day began.  I love it.

Wide awake and possibly with it para.    Owner says Bertie must be monitored ref his inner workings.  I said what like making sure he does not pinch my breakfast like he just did?  OH NO! says Owner who really is trying hard to pin down the right fodder for him... Me?  thanks for asking, well I have a little bit of this one, then I scrape all the pouch boxes as if to say I WANT MORE and then I sniff it and run away.  Just my little ritual that's all it is and goodness knows why Owner goes onto funny setting...  the more you try Owner I advised, the less likely it is to happen you need to calm down etc...but she didn't hear me above shaking some new biscuits into his trough.  Ruggles as you know is not fussy and only has one ritual and that is chomping his food and then rushing for the door as if he has been a prisoner for nigh on a century.  We love him. For today's photoshoot stroke cartoon is of me, naturally.  and it is me and a Bee.
There I am!! perched on the good sideboard looking out back and suddenly I spots the bee, it is so tiny it has a little arrow pointing to it which says A REAL BEE.... and to the left is a pretend bee on a bendy stick thing that Owner bought ages ago because I LIKE IT Wonka she said.  You are wondering what is that thing to the right dangling down. That is a small teddy that is stuck to the window and it is old.  It has always had a sticker on it to stick to a window. And those lovely flowers are a purple violet and Owner said THEY WILL ATTRACT BEES and such and they have.  We love them. 
Fresh wide awake para.  And that is more than we can say for the Brazil v Mexico match last night, as Owner nearly fell asleep waiting for a goal to be scored.  All are talking up the good goalkeeper for Mexico as he kept all efforts out.  Neymar tried his best says Owner.  FACT.  Mr Rooney has been joined by wifey, good Colleen and his boys and is now moved to CENTRE instead of at the side.  Mr Thierry Henri (we may mix his name up for good reasons...we love him) suggested this the other day.  We love him even more.  And his cardis.  Tonight we are watching good Holland and good Aussie who have both scored 2 goals each!!  And Robben is a star.  We may watch a bit of Spain v Chile as Owner thinks this will be exciting.  Will Spain crack on?  We think so.
Last wide awake para.  It has gone back to warm and the boiler is somehow coping with Owner's shenanigans (like it) and the SUMMER setting v WINTER setting.  One minute we are alright next it is tropical.  We love it.  Enders last night revealed another shocker from that scary family in the Queen Vic and it is Shirlee who now reveals she is mother to Mick.  Who is Mick you all gasp.  All this time we have been grappling with who is who and which sister is called what and now Shirlee wants to be a teenage Mum.  And Mick we all thought was her bruvver.  IT'S A SECRET FIL she goes.  FIL? SECRETS? we think not.  tonight we must try to fit Corrie in as Carling black eyebrows is drinking and being nasty to all.  Peter who is not a murderer according to good and patient Leanne, but is doing his best to be everything else is supporting his wifey with bottles of vodka.  And Rita  you all say, is she still guilt ridden....Yes.  And Dennis is still lurking. Now do go steady folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it, and may your side be a winning side!  Big Love wonka x
PS - update and #postagestamp news on the Aussie v Holland match, well Holland gone 3 up!!!

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Shop on Tuesdee

Wonka here.  zzzzzzzzzzz  OH SORRY must have dropped off for a minute.  Why are you tired you all ask and it is due to Owner flailing about in the deep of the night. Her advice to others suffering from poor sleep is to 1.  don't just lay there, get up make a cup of tea 2.  read a bit of your book 3.  TRY NOT TO GO OVER STUFF and worry......dear folk out there in the Wold,  if only Owner took her own advice!!  Me?  thanks for asking well, I got up too, chased Bertie round a bit and of course that made him hiss and growl but at least this took Owner's mind off her problems!  the ones that were keeping her awake....  which are you all enquire??  She is going on another holiday  GASP, just a little extra weekend away but naturally she must go over and over and over the arrangements and wake up in the middle of the ni hi hight anxious and fretting!!  We love it.

Fresh shop on para.  yes, when Owner gets in a state of any kind, it soon warrants a shopping expedition (like it) to put her mind at rest.  Tell me good folk how spending more money is going to do this??  I rest my paws and everything... These are her good reasons.  1.  She reports that since the weather has sunk to freezing cold and drizzle she will need a light sort of summery jumper.   OH I went back.  Not a full on winter woolly but it must still keep me warm AND I must look gorgeous in it.  Like you, I did wonder if this was asking for the moon.  Can we expect you back today I asked but she didn't hear me above shouting BE GOOD as she closed the front door.  Eons later, or maybe even a life time for a gnat or such, does she fall back in going on about she is so tired and how the little people were behaving like it was a bear garden (which is what??)  BUT LOOK WONKA she said, and LOOK BERTIE well I was listening but as you know unless we are talking food Bertie is prone to deafness....not only did Owner find said jumper but another good item of clothing too.  Both fit and both make Owner look drop dead gorgeous!  Has the universe finally given in and decided to be kind to us!!  We do hope so.  Now we did promise a little cartoon of my new catnip mousey and here it is:
There I am and there is new catnip mousey he has a feathery tail and everything even a little union jack flag on his back and there are some of my large collection of tinkly balls as well.  Even Bertie has sniffed new mousey but so far neither of us is interested in the elephant or lion.  NO.  We love it.
Fresh shopped and got lucky para.  We don't know what shopping is like in Brazil but we think it will be exciting.  and no need for any jumpers either.  WORLD CUP Facts of the day #postagestamp news.  Yesterdee was quite busy to report on but Germany did rather well and we must also mention the US of A who scored 2 goals to Ghana's 1 and Owner read that the goal scorer (USA) dreamt about it first!!  As you know Owner is a strong believer in the power of dreams and how many times has she said oh I dreamt that Wonka.....zzzzz  OH SORRY dropped off again.  Now the most important fact of the day is that we support Mr Phil Neville who is on the good BBC as a commentator and got lots of silly talk about how he droned on and such like, well of course me and Owner liked him BUT LISTEN TO THIS!!  there is another Mr Phil Neville who is a real live radiator plumbing person who has been getting lots of tweets meant for the other one!!!  We love it.  Now tonight we will try and follow 2 of the matches, and that is Belgium v Algeria and most seem to have written Algeria off .....mmmm goes Owner she is still on the anything can happen prediction.  The other match is good Brazil v Mexico YAY..   again Brazil seem faves but who knows says Owner  (well we don't that's for sure..) and one final word for Russia v South Korea...Igor is their star and Zico has given them the thumbs up....but says South Korea will not be pushovers.  WE LOVE IT>
Final got lucky with the shopping para.  tonight beyond all this footie larking about, is Enders and listen to this.  Shazzer has been knocked out by some masked men who burst into her little cocktail joint and her newly promoted bar manager did not come to the rescue, no he hid under a table.  Shame!  We are pleased to see Masood promoted and stepping up to the plate and goodness knows what foxy and roxy are up to, but Shirlee was last seen in the Vic with Fil.  And Fil goes to Shirlee, WE NEED TO TALK.  Blimey I said to Owner that is like you in your job.  DON'T REMIND ME she says back.  We can only hope Shazzer comes to with a better storyline that when she was knocked out.  Where is good Holby City and where is celebrity masterchef?? gobbled up by the football.  Now one last thing for us all to think about, is that Owner has found out about a festival for short stories.  In good London.  this weekend.   At the largest bookshop in Europe....which is Waterstones.  LSSF.  This has brought about a fresh dilemma for Owner for the slightest thing out of the ordinary has her on the run.  SLEEP ON IT I advised from my amazon box earlier.  I WILL she says.  Now last time I looked, Bertie was still splayed out by a red hot radiator (Owner caved in, heating full on) his inner workings are working despite sensitive biscuits and such.  Rug trotted in for breakfast before bolting back out to the wild.  me?  starving for my teatime so must go.  Do take it steady folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Monday, 16 June 2014

More Mundee

Wonka here.  Straight off you want some footie news.  and me and Owner slept quite well thankyou, with Owner having dreams about schools and exams which I remarked (new one for me) was not a surprise.  I CAN DO WITHOUT IT she goes.  Owner is looking for a change and I said that is alright with me especially if you get more £s and more time at home to see to us lot.  Well me anyway.  Sorry Bertie.  Also just to let you know despite it being June it has gone freezing and short of throwing myself at the boiler and hiding the switch from summer to winter, I may not be able to stop Owner from popping the heating back on.  I do try.  I love it.

Less is more para.  Who said less is more, I ask you??  Now onto the footie!!  Last night Owner got quite into it and especially that Karim Benzema chappie who plays for France, he was here there and everywhere finding time to score goals whilst he was at it.  So good France did win, and then all we heard about was Messi, Messi and MORE Messi!!  His other name you all want to know is Lionel (like it) and he is Argentina's star player.  Well he is even MORE of a star now!  Today we are ready and waiting for Germany v Portugal and there are so many players to talk about we have to keep it steady.  There is only one for Owner and it is Cristiano Ronaldo who quite rightly is keen to look as good as he plays.  Owner reports he has little earrings in plus, wait for it, a backpack that is possibly no probably designer.  We love him lots already.  Oh and he is batting for Portugal!! There is also someone called Pepe who is MORE of a bad boy so we love him too.  Germany have got 'Rolls-Reus' that is his nickname and he is really Marco Reus.  Who will win out??  Owner says one of them will GET LUCKY.  Oh I said.  And here is our good cartoon for today, it is from yesterdee's game with FRA v HON:
One of the goals took its time to BE A GOAL with all going is it or isn't it!!  very exciting.  We love it.  They are still gong on about it said Owner on good ITV.  as you know we support good BBC and are still backing #philneville to commentate despite people saying he sent them to sleep.  THAT'S MY KIND OF COMMENTARY goes Owner.  #postagestamp !!
More is more para.  What else happened today you all pipe up and say?  The sun has not got its hat on, and me and Bertie have snugged on down just popping our heads up to ask for MORE food.  Owner fell back in the door with fresh supplies, and some new biscuits which are SENSITIVE it goes on the packet and she has high hopes for Bertie's inner workings.  They may do the trick she said.  She had managed to take back not one but two items and get the money back.  Without any trouble.  This is lucky and can we continue on the lucky trend please.... I don't need sensitive biscuits but had some anyway in case I get jealous.  Me?  Jealous?  I love it.
Final Morish para.  tonight beyond all this footie we can still hold onto Enders and Corrie.  Enders looks mildly interesting from these little clips they show us and Owner may watch it just to see what it is talking up.  There is Shazzer and Phil and dearie me that wasp tongued Shirlee saying how she does luv Fil.  Luckily over on Corrie, there is MORE of a storyline and Owner will be glued.  Carling black eyebrows has been nasty to a buyer and not just any buyer but a buyer in a wheelchair.   This should not make any difference I said to Owner, if she has been nasty.  Owner said you are right WONKA (this makes a change) it was just different.  We like different.  Born again Christian Owen cannot forgive silly Anna for leaping into bed with that nasty builder to iron out all their troubles but has instead made more.  Gingertop, her good son Gary will find out and then what!  You are still waiting to see my new catnip mousey I have not forgotten it is Owner's fault.  It is alright she cannot hear me above boiling the kettle it is like a rocket taking off at NASA.  Ruggles has been in once and is due any minute now so I must go and check out back.  And check the radiators are not boiling hot after all it is mid Summer.  Somewhere.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it good folks.  Big Love Wonka x  PS  Owner insisted we add this:  stoppress!!  Mr Mueller!!  Man of the match!!!! and we are sorry if we spelt your name wrong actually it will be Owner's fault.....xx

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Father's Day Sundee

Wonka here.  You guessed it, OR you know it.  Owner managed to stay up til midnight and has this to report on our #postagestamp commentary.  Beeb One is her preferred channel and she is defending Mr Phil Neville who some were describing as POOR when he was chatting us through the match.  Not so goes Owner, he did not baffle me with strange footie talk.  Or me for that matter good folks out there possibly tuning in to this match too....ENG v ITA and we now know the result, and I look at it this way.  WE SCORED A GOAL for goodness sake and there is this to consider....we did not lose like Spain did the other night.  Owner also wants to mention Mr Thierry's impeccable (ooer) taste in get up.  Well that and his voice.  Do you like him Owner I ventured...RATHER she goes back.  So it is good Beeb one all the way with Mr Larky Lineker.  We are mildly watching SWI v ECU and note that they all look so happy!! and ECU were one goal up.  even more reason to look chirpy.  We may tune in for good FR v HON.  A chappie called Wilson is their star player and he may like a little earring.    France used to have that nice head butting player (Owner only remembers the darker facts) and now they have Karim.  Are you making a prediction Owner I says, and she comes up with this:  It will be predictable, quote unquote.  and just to finish up SWI have just bashed a goal in!!! We love it (COME ON ENGLAND!! You can do it...........)

Fresh down to earth para.  Yes it is Father's Day here and we can celebrate this even though Owner's Dad is in wood carving heaven.   This was his passion, and we have showed you them from time to time as most of them are nestling here.  here in the living room, in the dining room and the bedrooms they are everywhere!  This one is of a little wooden cat about 6 inches high oh alright 20mm then.  And called Tinkerbelle:
Here she is!! As you can see Owner uses it to hang bracelets and such round her neck too.  Wherever she is her little eyes follow.  Thy are made from the ebony of the old piano keys says Owner.  Happy days.  Owner reminds you all out there too, that we do have this as a postcard along with others and they can all be found at ...the shop's name?  wonkaandmousey of course.  We love it.
Fresh more Father's day para.   What of today you all wonder?  a very sleepy doing nothing much day spent here.  Oh yes, that was me!!  Owner has busied herself uploading the latest Wonka story ('Just Wonka' on and doing a few odd jobs.  Bertie asked to go out this morning and spent at least 5 minutes out in the wild.  When he came back in, Owner says he suddenly started to play a game with a cork followed up with my new blue red and white mousey. (Photoshoot to follow) OH I said.  No I am not jealous not a bit of it, as long as he doesn't take on my fave toy.  Now why he chose the cork out of the wide selection of tinkly balls, catnip animals such as elephants and lions, giraffes and mice.  Who can say?  perhaps all these good folk making toys for us cats need to rethink it.  Rug has ambled in for breakfast and is due for his tea, and Tinkers peeked in the window.  SHE CAN ONLY HAVE BISCUITS instructed Owner.  Her inner working you know.  I love it.
Final good Father's Day para.  ~As you might expect there is only good footie on tonight so we will tune in to Mr Thierry's latest cardi and report back tmro.  Last night we did get through Casualtee and note that the back stabbin Connie just needs a witches hat to go with her dark deeds and good Zoe needs some protection!  Will Charley come out of his counselling dream to save her?  maybe.  Now we have another week ahead and who knows what will happen in it.  Owner has only one job to totter off to at the minute and that is enough.   There are social outings lined up and the wardrobe question is still out.  YOU LOOK LOVELY whatever you wear I said to Owner...IS IT TEATIME she goes back??  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x  

Extra Extra!

An announcement from Owner:

We are proud to announce the latest in the Wonka Series!!  (No 9)

    'Just Wonka' is now free and available........follow the link below

and use the search tag Wonka....

Set in the start of summer 2013, the ups downs and quite frankly horizontal goings on of Owner with Wonka at the helm.  What can go wrong?? !
And we'll see you later for the daily diary with all our news....x

Saturday, 14 June 2014

Game on Satdee

Wonka here.  At last it is the day when good England trots onto the pitch and does their stuff v Italy.  any predictions from Camp Wonka you all shout up?  After all many a pet here and there is stabbing their good paws at a team and making canine or feline predictions.  Owner says you should use your intuition.  OH I goes back.  So, goes Owner, instead of running full pelt into the kitchen to sniff Ruggles you should have asked him first. Any case it was alright as Rug just hissed at me and I ran away.  I did point out to Owner that she goes at things full pelt and confrontation is her middle name, but she didn't hear me above following the latest footie match which is COL v GRE and COL are winning. 2 - 0.  So good folks out there listening and wanting me to say, here it is.  The team that throws everything at it and goes FULL PELT will win it!!  and of course we hope that is England (sorry Italy - Owner still wants to go to Rome - three coins in a fountain and all that.)  We love it.

Fresh game on para.  alright we have to just mention HOLLAND V SPAIN (sorry Spain) as Owner thought she might watch a bit of it and cheer on Holland who all thought were the underdog.  NOT SO!!  when Owner flicks over from good ITV and Corrie have they scored 5 goals and maybe a sixth one too!  AMAZING she goes.  I am proud of Owner, and me too as our #postagestamp knowledge must improve surely??  We will never underestimate Holland again.  We love them.

New game on para.  today has swept by with Owner on a cleaning jag and yes, that meant the monster was rolling round all the downstairs and me and Bertie had to run away fast.  Also, Bertie has been brushed and he loved it.  you could have made a jumper from the fur but who would knit it?  not Owner she is no good with knitting.  Thankfully, she finally went out on her rounds and to get much needed supplies so we could rest up.   And when she fell back in with the cement aka cat litter and more food  she reported that 1.  the new electrical item has been sorted out with aged sibling and 2.  Aged parent had been read to and seemed to like it.  Was it a soothing story I enquired (get me!).  NO said Owner, it is about the state of our NHS by a 90 year old called Harry.  Now for our good photoshoot today it is of course World Cup all the way and Owner's cartoon is all about it:
There we are shouting at the telly GOAL!! (times 5!!) me and Bertie are resting up with me on the giant nest aka settee and Bertie down the side of it.  I love it.
Final game on para.  Tonight is an exciting night if Owner can possibly stay up til 10 20 when good Mr Linneker will start to talk it all up on Beeb 1.  Until then we have beloved Dale in inittowinit, and then good Casualtee.  The wolves are out for Zoe Doctor in the shape of Connie who is a Siren (says Owner) and out for all.  Good Charlie Farley nursey is always on hand though to get to the heart of the matter when all others take years of counselling and therapy, in seconds.   Now important announcement from Owner:  JUST WONKA, her new short story, is to be published on tomorrow.  Yes.  it is all about us and our adventures and you will love it.  Watch this space........
So, Rug has been for his tea  and it wasn't me!!!  I have promised Owner not to rush at him again, at least for today.  Tinkers may have flitted over as the dish in the luxury shed is clean and no we have not seen Mr Beau.  Owner hopes this is because his real keeper is doing their job.  We love you Mr Beau beau.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it and whoever you are supporting.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 13 June 2014

Full Moon Fridee

Wonka here.  Does Owner get up in the middle of the nigh hi hight again and guess what?  no that is not it.  She reports how light it was outside.  Have you forgotten Owner I mumbled we are coming up to the longest day?  I HAD FORGOTTEN she mumbled back before falling back to sleep and not wanting to get up at the crack of well early morning!  Not only is it Fridee but it is a Full Moon fridee and it is the 13th.  What can possibly disturb our already upside down lives said Owner.....oh yes and the planet of communications Mercury is still travelling backwards in the heavens.   Don't tell me anymore she says.  I love it.

Fresh and full moon para.  Lots of things missed the target today.  First up, does Owner get to one job to find it has changed and may affect second job.   Everyone is impatient and NOT SMILING.  so I did smile says Owner, even while all were serious.  I hope I ventured, you did not look like the village idiot, and I admit from behind the door and whilst she was unpacking two tons of shopping.  Then she goes, I got to the second job that is not quite making it happen and I had missed the meeting.  it turns out that it didn't matter because what Owner thought they were meeting about (and all the other staff thought) was not on the agenda.  Instead it was all serious.  Has it been a serious day I whispered up trying to hide the second card through the door that said WE TRIED TO DELIVER YOUR PARCEL..... yes it happened just like Owner predicted.  The person who is posting these cards through the door wrote SAT on it.  And to give Owner her due she is staying fairly calm about it.  So far.  Me?  thanks for asking, a pleasant day resting up, keeping an eye on Bertie (upstairs in the cupboard) and playing with my toys first thing.  Also, we had a SEAGULL alert.  this cheeky seagull lands on the fence and looked in at me for ages.  Then blow me down does Tinkers appear out of nowhere and look in at me!  we were face to face through the good double glazing!  So this good folks out there is our photoshoot for today, with a cartoon from Owner:

There it is!!  I said to Owner that looks more like a pigeon but she said not with an orange beak it doesn't.  it sat on the fence and I chattered to it for ages and then up jumps Tinkers.  to the left hand side is just a tiny bit of a wooden cat also called Tinkerbelle that Owner's Dad carved and we love it. 
Fresh moony para.  This good folks out there wondering where it was, is our World Cup postage stamp fact of the day.  We cannot say much because I am sitting on the planner and will not move.  However, Owner has come up with this much.  We have found a player that has a good nickname and it is 'The Weasel' he plays for Costa Rica too and is their 'star' player..   Can they win it?  Can we??  Far be it for Owner to make an early prediction but she thinks it will be a surprise.  OH I said back.  now last night Good Neymar (well remembered) scored some goals for Brazil and Croatia did struggle.  Today there are three matches and Spain is one of them.  Owner has just read this in her free paper:  unbeknown to her until now, England will play Costa Rica (the Weasel side!!), Italy (tmro) and Uruguay.   More tomorrow folks...........(I will have moved off the planner by then)..
Final full moon Para.  last night beyond tuning in to the World Cup opening ceremony which all have made fun of, as it was more like a village fete opening, we did catch a bit of Enders which seemed to drift from Max the only man in the square capable of attracting females said Owner of any profession, and why she goes as he is not alluring and bring back Dave - anyway drifting from him to roxy and foxy and their love lives until I'm sure if Owner had not been tired she would have shouted up.  Lucky for us Masterchef turns up but good Russell has been LET GO and it's down to Sophie our other fave to save it.  Tonight we have a double Corrie to save Owner's nightly entertainment fest. Michelle who has been despatched by Team Tracy has a mother turned up who we never knew before and surely there is a funeral to take place with all weeping and such.  And what of Owen and Anna?  Can Roy save their sorry partnership.  We love it.   This and the footie good folks out there might stop a giant anxiety trip about the shoes that are now being delivered tmro WHEN THERE IS A CHANCE I WILL BE IN she goes.  Now Ruggles is due for a chomp and come to think of it I have stepped up my appetite too.  The weekend is here, so do go steady good folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x