Saturday, 25 March 2017

Missing Hours!!

What's to do Wonka! You all shout up excited as it is Saturday Caturday PLUS it is sunny and good.  it is here anyway and that is all that counts!  YES I am feeling very selfish today and that makes a change from constantly thinking of others.  Alright Bertie Bubb and Ruggles and my new amour across the way. 

 Owner says she does not know how she has avoided stroking this cat (Poppet) as it looks adoringly up at her when she trip traps home laden down with shopping (gallons of cat litter enough to provide facilities for an entire cat army, also enough cat food to feed well us lot for a day or two just saying.X) - yes and as Owner trips past Poppet (not her real name folks we are protecting her privacy! X) she feels a strong urge to cuddle and stroke said cat. BUT Wonka, she tells me up when she bursts through the fragile front door - I HAVE MANAGED NOT TOO. This is important folks, because given a whisker of a chance, Poppet might speed in and start living here EVEN THOUGH she has a home a few doors up.  End ofX

What else Wonka you say up to me, dreamily gazing out at this sun ridden day, what else is there to report up?

A SUCCESSFUL family outing went on yesterdee, with aged parent, daughter and grandson oh and aged sibling.  This all went to plan, no one asked a difficult family ridden question and although Owner muttered about being exhausted when she finally returned (yes laden with..........) the upside was all enjoyed.  AND, Owner found time to nip to the shop and take back the WRONG shoes. I did warn her last sundee when she suddenly took stock of her shoes and decided she must have more, I SAID don't be persuaded to buy regular fitting Owner, when you need your tootsies to spread out!  what does she do?  Not only buys one pair of regular knock em out shoes BUT have another pair on order.  This folks I tell you had disaster sewn right into the linings.  They were delivered.  NEXT DOOR. WITH no indication of such. I had my paws and whiskers very busy trying to allay Owner's anxiety setting (from zero to ten folks.X) as she tried to guess where the shoes that would not fit her had gone to.  I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN Wonka she droned to me having rushed to the shop with them and got the money she hasn't got back on the best credit card on the planet. I know.X

Here we are again with the hour thingy - forwards forwards!!  And a little reminder that in our #spookytale ginger tom takes us on a little adventure involving that clock and the lost hour!  Backwards in winter and forwards for Spring!  in our story it is the turn towards the dark days and a mysterious death prompts our hero (said ginger tom) to follow a calling! At the moment folks it is still on BUT Owner has plans (yes I know.X) to move it and shake it all about and end it up on that big shop in the sky!  I will keep you posted though. AND she keeps droning on about a new website ALL ABOUT ME.  x

In other lesser news donwald the trump has had a big failure apart from his wardrobe and hair that is, and all are talking it up.  Tresa May continues to baffle us with talking like a home secretary BUT she is the prime minister no less and very sad news for me and Owner PLUS at least 48% of other good voters is that nasty trigger thing is set to happen next week.  I rarely get political as you know folks but this one could affect ME, oh and Bertie (set against the brexit on toast) and Ruggles who has always been pro E EWE.x

Back in the real world, Corrie has gone very darkish with Rosee handing out poor advice to thingy who is back with her tattooed boy, Pheelan is hearing things in that flat and Ken has turned into a spying, manipulative patriarch with good Deirdre's image shining out from the photo frame. Owner decided that Nick, Ken and Ken's son thingy are all wearing the same black jacket which she has taken strongly against.  Nearly as much as Staycee in Enders.x

Now I want you all to ponder a moment on the Easter break which is looming alright it is looming here and Owner has big plans to squash into the break.  BUT she has plans and this is my advice to all you folks out there lounging about doing RIEN with no thought for this season of renewal and upcycling (Owner's best new word, it is like recycling but better.  it is what Owner will do with her Dad's old work bench.  Convert it into something we can all use! I know!! exiting or what.X) so get with it, and tune in.  Paint that room and sort your yard out now!!  finally, Owner has made a promise to Ruggles which I am witness to, and it is to sort out our new vista so we can all trot out there and enjoy the sunnyshine. Me?  dreams of laying on the hot doorstep OR lounging in the cool dog kennel whilst Owner mucks around with plant pots.  Lovely.x

Have a topping week folks!  See you soon big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 18 March 2017

Never say NEVER!

Howdy up folks and there is but one simple message for all of you today AND Owner must sit up and listen!!! JAMAIS means JAMAIS folks and I am hoping against hope that is the frenchy French for never.

WHY you all screech at me, because it is March and you all feel that way out, WHY be so upbeat in the face of all the relentless news of ~Brexit on toast, Donwald on his solitary march in the parade, Jezzer missing every trick there is to miss at Prime Minister Qs and I haven't mentioned Tresa NOR Nicolah and I'm not going too.  YES I have gone a mite political and to crown it all off here is Georgie O the newly crowned Editor of a paper some folks do read.X
There he is!!! and he probably got offered that top job (moaned Owner to me.x) in the Gents. Because we all know how many important decisions are made 1. When folks are taking 5 and smoking their heads off those that do partake OR 2. using the facilities.  When I pop and use Bertie's giant tray OR Rugglesis, I generally have a word with them first.  it is not my fault that all they have to say is SSSSSSSSSSS and GGGGGGRRRRRRR.X
As PURR this silly old blog went and published itself before I had even begun to say anything useful.  I know.X
Owner has been on a downward spiral of no one and that is PERSONNE is looking at, reading or heaven FORFEND buying our stories.  She has had a prolonged email duel with a marketing assistant who Owner says is possibly straight out of college OR still there.  That's unkind I pointed out to Owner.x
Furthermore, Owner has woken up out of her last century trance and realised it is not enough to be creative NO!!! she must be a web designer, social media expert AND marketing demon too.  When she declared all of this I have to admit I was far away in one of my secret hidey holes.  Once Owner had stopped being so progressive and positive (that can only end up in tears, cups of strong tea and biscuits.  or popcorn. or both.X) I came downstairs and demanded some of Bertie's fish.X
We have clung to Corrie even though Leeane is meeting up with Steve who is the babees father but she is with Nick who is whining and moaning to thingy meechelle who has gone BAD. Enders has focussed on BEX which is not good when Owner is a tad annoyed or anxious it could drive her to shout at the telly and their relentless bully storyline saying things like. TELL THE TRUTH and SPEAK UP and stop looking so VICTIM like.  Staycee has made a few brief upbeat appearances and her and wotsit are trying for a babe (I know X) and asking their psychiatrist for advice. I mean.  the last kingdom has squalled itself back into our cosy little nest with the telly in it, and Uhtred is busy looking fearless and all on his horse and Alfred is busy doing Kingly things.  We may pursue it down the weeks. But our giant top fave is Manic Depressive thingy in Casualtee WHAT A STAR!! He has even taken the limelight from Charlee and Connee. If Owner can juggle this with The Voice which has transformed itself from being alright to FAB (we love Jennifer Hudson she is a top coach.X) our night is complete.X
So folks if like Owner you feel like your life is over, your hair will never go right, that other thing won't either, the money is not enough and you are writing in a wilderness of failed stories and characters and occasional marketing expert. (Authors can take years to start selling.........x) Do Not under any circumstance hang your pen up!!!  Remember, there is no such thing as an overnight success! Keep at it.  We are all failures swimming towards success. AH, on that happi note folks, I must get back to my dreaming and checking on the others.  Bertie has been groomed and fed and watered and is safe on his pilly case.  Ruggles is squashed under the red settee and may come out for some fodder.
See you soon UNLESS Owner moves this blog to a new upbeat destination (I know.X) Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 11 March 2017

Cheering up things!

WHAT THINGS WONKA AND can you hurry up and tell us you all say, practically chins on the floor with being so miserable (and that's just Owner!!! sorry Owner! X)

Is she still fed up and experiencing (long word for a Satdee but I did it justice.X) the post holidee blues Wonka???

MAIS OUI! x Yes, Danke (oh no that's  thank you) and De Rien (even worse that means nothing.X)

Here is my list of things to look forward to:
1.  Soon be Easter which at the very least means folk have a long weekend - some of us (Owner!!) have two weeks to dilly and dally in.
2. Chocolate.  There is already a surfeit (?) of this in the maze like supermarket that Owner insists on shopping in.

3.  Uhtred is returning to our reasonably sized tv screens in that Last Kingdom thing and we love it.  it has increased my fear of those pesky Vikings but they only clean the windows once a month so I can stand it. X

4.  Owner had a hair trim up and thankfully it looks fab and I came out of my new special hiding place to say so. X

5.  At College and in the biz btec they have moved away from accounting (this was but one long reminder to Owner of her credit ridden life or is that debt ridden - she is no longer sure.X) towards internet marketing. So far Owner is happy about this. I know.X

End of cheering up things for now.

There we are! Back in 2015 at the start of the invasion! BUT it is back to invade us on Thursday March 16th!! at 9 pm Beeb 2 (should that be Thorsday??!! XX)
In other lesser news Bertie had his bowl of water moved slightly to the right of his biscuit trough due to Owner reading somewhere that the water bowl must NOT cuddle up to the eating bowl. Mine has always been miles away from everything and therefore easy to miss. X (do I complain about this? NO.x)
I have not noticed Owner shouting at the telly only a weensy bit about the mobile phone thingy wotsit on Enders and BEX and SHAKI is there any other storyline she droned to me?? If there is folks I may have been having a snack of biscuits and missed it.  In Corrie ken has gone nasty and turned his back on Adam.  WHO you all quiz me up, is he?? Owner has been in the wilderness for a long time with the answer to that one - she does like him BUT was unsure of his connection to ken, tracee, thingy who turned up SAYING he was ken's son but is he? yes him oh and AIMee. Not to forget Peter who is lying through all his teef.  Anyhow luckily as Adam lay on the hospital trolley having been beaten to a pulp by ? he told Ken he was Mike Barlow's son AND Owner recalls who that is AND that beloved Deirdree was his Mum. PHEW.X
Tonight we must cling onto the Voice and the madness of Willyam OR shun it for Casualtee and the madness of Connie. I know.
And you will all want to know that another fish and chip outing is being planned for DESPITE owner forgetting that Daughter is now vegan and cannot eat hardly anything except chips and beans Personally I see this as a good thing. X
The new week beckons and could it be folks a week to reckon with!!! brush that furry fur and make sure all those little knobbly bits and pieces (Rug has lots of these and every time he shakes his head and makes a gurgling noise the pillycase has said bits on it.X) are combed out. it may be you need a make over so GO TO IT!! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 4 March 2017

The Holiday Blues!

NOW WHAT Wonka? you all mumble up it being only really early (in our land and on this small isle) in the morning at approx. 11 AM.

Owner is slowly coming back to earth and realising she is no longer in NEW YORK.  blimey, you all say a bit louder this time - but it was 2 weeks ago!! NOT IN OWNER'S MIND!! In dearest Owner's mind she is still walking towards the Empire State Building in blinding sunlight busy snapping away with the new phone.X

YES!! It is more blue only this time it is the BLUE bag what went all around New York with Owner. Was it very expensive you all want to know?? When Owner coughed up for it a year ago on her travels to see her best cousin, she tried to hide it from me when she returned. IT WAS A NON ESSENTIAL Wonka she finally told me, THAT I HAD TO HAVE! Folks, what could I say to her, as it was smack on a tea time and I was starving.  The good credit card had stepped up once more AND as you can see, the bag itself stepped up in New York.   End of.X
Owner has bravely gone back to work and tried NOT to go on about her big adventure. And failed.  Most of the students were really interested announced Owner and thought it was amazing. but now, now it is TWO WEEKS ago and it all seems like a dream. it is hard to see how to motivate Owner when Easter is quite far off except in all the supermarkets and when holidays are quite far off unless she pops to nearby Whitby. WHY WHITBY you all ask me impatient now to get on with your Satdee.  Because dear folks our newest story has links to this good seaside and its history!!X
There have been changes folks in our Radio Routine.  GONE is good Brian and his sounds of the sixties.  GONE is good Anneka who we loved just before that.  Instead it is Tonee and Dermot. This may take some getting used to and Owner did NOT set her alarm for 6am (Tonee's show) and could not quite align with Dermot in the morning when he is really an afternoon person. that good saying If it aint broken don't fix it comes to mind and all I can say is it must have been broken, somewhere, invisibley(that might not be a real word but what the heck it is Satdee, push the boat out.X)
In other lesser news Owner has been mucking around with her earrings which are so small you need a microscope to see them, well one of them has fallen out.  I mean it has lost the stone. OH she goes, I will never find it! Did you want to insure them Madam, the customer assistant droned to Owner when she bought them? OH NO Owner goes back........ I know.X and I did mention we might need a periscope to find it now or did I mean a magnifying glass one of them.X
Now as far as we know Tresa is still wafting on about Brexit on toast with a splash of marmalade and how it must not have loads of butter on it, whilst Donwald the Trump is busy knitting a wall and throwing money at anything that doesn't need any.  so no change there Owner reckons and even Jezzer is still bleating on about how he mustn't change or throw himself off the ladder he was elected to be on. Absolutely De Rien change there either.X
In the telly world a few good series have shuddered to a halt.  Owner has nearly caught up with Taboo which seemed to concentrate A LOT on nasty things, cold things, and plots that defied understanding BUT had Tom thingy in all of it so it didn't matter.  Let it shine has shone off with a good boy band winning it and even Gazzer enjoyed himself a bit with Peter Kay standing in for Honey G I mean Robbie. Owner says you couldn't make it up and for once I agree.X
In Corrie, Meechelle has gone over the top and round the mulberry bush about Steve and the Babee.  The babe is Leeanne's but it doesn't matter in her head (Meechelle's head X) everyone is bad now and she must get even. Enders has a babe storyline too only it is thingies Babee and has got itself adopted.  Personally I see this as a plus for being brought up IN THE SQUARE means turning fat, or murderous oh or alcoholic.  End of.X
Is there a happy ending to this week and A LOT to look forward to for next Wonka you all now shout up at me.  I say it has been a good week for Owner smiling and laughing until she went a bit blue AND for next week once she gets on with our new story...she will be happy all over again!  Get your creative fur on and purr up a good story!  big Love Wonka X