Sunday, 31 August 2014

X Factor Sundee

Wonka here.  That's right we are into the X Factor zone in this house.  It is a giant security blanket stroke comfort for Owner and she cannot shake it off.  I AM ADDICTED she confessed to me last night.  yes I had to watch it too, and my best fave is the posh singer called chloe or jasmine or both.  Who I said to Owner, is your early fave?  The one who gave me the shivers she goes back.  and that was??  you see good folks, Owner will change tack over and again, suddenly announcing that the very one she could not stand last week, is tip top this week.  It may have been Jay, she goes, dredging up this name from the depths of her short term memory.  ISN'T THAT A BIRD? I said, interested at last.  Sometimes she says to me.  I love it.

Fresh X Factor para.  From now until the run up to the DAY in December, we will have the X Factor to brighten up Owner's every weekend.  That and Strictly.  we may watch bits of Dr Who as well now that we sort of understand it.  We dare not say too much about this, but Owner has told me she doesn't get the storylines.  I THINK YOU NEED A PHd IN DR WHO to get them she says.  What about I countered (like it) the Daleks then?  I AM A DALEK!!!  I have been copying this and saying it to Bertie, as a joke you understand, but Owner told me off for being too convincing.  anyhow, today's good cartoon is us enjoying said programme.
There we are! Now that is the back of the new settee folks, with the nice green silk throw on it, and there am I in my new dark corner at the right hand side.  it is a squash next to the standard lamp but I am fine there really.  Owner could lay on the settee and be as comfortable as you like but prefers to sit on the luxury carpet.  To the left of Owner is the trunk with the beloved laptop and there in front is the telly with a Dalek on it!  Owner likes the Daleks and does a fair imitation herself.  I love it.
Final hex factor para.  So Simon ghoul aka cowell is back and Cheryl who has gone and got married and has a new impressive name is back too.  Louis never went anywhere and then there is a spice girl.  A SPICE GIRL I said to Owner, what is that?  She used to be in this girl group goes Owner, called The Spice Girls.  I mean Cheryl was in another girlie group called.....zzzzzzzzz sorry I must have dropped off trying hard to remember it.  Simon cannot sing that we know of, and neither can Louis.  so tonight we will be glazed eyes in front of more auditions folks.  But our X Factor is nothing compared to the U S of A hex factor.  if we want to go right over the top and back round the mountain this is the one.  And we do want to do all those things says Owner.  We may watch the village over on beeb one, but only if it is cheery and jolly for a Sundee evening.  Now the new week is nearly upon us and guess what?  NO! that is not it.  Owner has finished a new short story which we will tell more about next week.  It will be she says, the Tenth Wonka story!!  I am proud.  DON'T GET BIG HEADED Wonka, she says to me.  Me?  Certainly not.  I am the most grounded cat I know.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 30 August 2014

Sunny Satdee

 Wonka here.  hardly have we adjusted our entire summery lives to the advent of Autumn and being freezing does it go warm.  It means (list) 1.  being too hot in the night 2.  being too hot in the morning now that the heating is spot on and Owner forgot to adjust the thermostat. SORRY WONKA she goes flinging open windows all around.  Owner first got up at approx. 5 30 am and Bertie thought it was getting up time aka feeding time and was poised by the empty biscuit saucer.  HE IS COPYING YOU Wonka, mumbled Owner on the way back to bed.  Me? You all know how much I keep Bertie bubbles in check!  Just because I happened to rub up against the millions of good as you like it cat food, I mean.  So we all trooped back to bed and got up late.  We love it.

Gorgeous sun filled para.  Owner has now arranged for the fitting of the cat flap in the luxury shed.  it is to be done on Thursdee.  I only hope and pray Ruggles knows what to do with it.  TINKERBELLE will show him the way goes Owner.  Tinkers is a little chimp as we all know. darting into the back yard foraging for food when she has a perfectly good home.  We think.  But she does sometimes have Ruggles in tow.  it is nice, says Owner, that Ruggles has a friend.  I will oversee the shed fitting from the safety of the sideboard look out, but I tell you good folks, Owner will be on full anxiety setting come Thursdee.  I love it.

Sunny all day long para.  Today Owner has moved all aged parent's things into a new room and a new home.  I LIKE IT, she goes when she flung back in.  Will aged parent like it though I wondered up?  WE'LL SEE says Owner.  Aged parent quite rightly is very discriminating about things and this, says Owner, is OK to be when you are that old.  At the last visit to the good hospital where said parent is laid up, Owner likes to keep her informed and goes I HAVE ENTERED A COMPETITION Mum.  YOU WON'T WIN, was the instant reply.  Now if Stephen Fry and the good Penguin judges are all reading this, don't let it put you all off!!!  I think it is a good effort, Owner's poster and we are putting another version of it on here. Owner says it was the first draft she did.
There it is!  Owner then did a second one which is the (winning) entry on Talenthouse. I ask you, what is wrong with this Poster!?  It is to promote Mr Fry's new book, 'More Fool Me' which Owner may purchase.  I am alright with this and I'm calling an essential buy.  I love it.
Sunny and happy para.  Due to the new room being a thousand times better than Owner had thought she has been on the same setting as the weather.  I am sure, she continued on, that Mum will love it.  And, there is even a string of coloured lights in the garden which can be seen from the little balcony window.  I have suggested to Owner once all is in place, a little photoshoot would not go amiss.  I especially want to see the little birdhouse in the tree that Owner has mentioned.  I will love it!
Final sun setting para.  last night, we were treated to a double Corrie with Peetah stealing Jim's secret stash of alcohol and passing out.  he is now in intensive care with Ken anxious by the bedside.  I know, more hospitals we cannot escape them.  All else is concentrating on Jason being ensnared by more lies and fizz, Tyrones good partner who can see a lie forming at a 100 paces is on the case.  We tried to keep going with Enders and all we know is that Ian has been dumped by Denise and Mick from the Vic will love thingy forever even though she is fed up with him.  We tried to like the slice of cake thing about the great bad bake off and failed.  IS IT DOWN TO THE PRESENTER I goes to Owner?  IT MIGHT BE she says.  Who is it then I went back.  I forget her name says Owner.  More importantly, the line up for Strictly is OUT.  We love Gregg from masterchef is on it, Max grab an affair from Enders is on it.  But best of all is Zoe from Cazualtee.  our best fave.  I have high hopes we will get their names right too.  OH KLAXON SOUNDING!  The Hex Factor returns tonight and Owner will be glued to it. Me and Bertie will have to fend for ourselves and I do have trouble opening the pouches and trays.  Rug will have to call before 8pm that's all I can say. YOU WILL ALL HAVE TO FEND FOR YOURSELVES goes Owner!  I have just said all that I ventured back but she didn't hear me above turning the washer on.  Like all else in this house it is developing its own little ways, like pausing for a full minute before bursting into action.  Just as Owner is ready to leap towards it banging and pressing buttons and going over the top, does it start.  Yes I love it.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you all are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 29 August 2014

New Age Fridee

Wonka here.  At last it is the end of yet another frantic week.  HOW says Owner, did I find time to work full-time and fit all this in?  Do you mean I goes, all that non essential shopping you are now doing?  And I am referring to the new age shop good folks out there all wondering what I am telling Owner off for now.  Is the bracelet doing its job you all challenge back!  You said the magic word Job then!  There is no wonderful, perfect and pleasant job on Owner's horizon as yet but that phone call that letter, that email - it is all still in the wishing well, it is IN THE MIX. (One of Owner's expressions which she said I could borrow if it stops me going on about her spending. deal). We are only four days in on the bracelet Wonka, goes Owner..give it a chance!  We love it.

Fresh new age para.  What exactly is this new age thing you all gasp up.  Owner says it means opening ourselves up to the wonders of the universe.  OOER.  Linking in to nature more she continued.  Now this makes sense as it means ME, I am very natural and Bertie who is even now sleeping his little life away, he is very very natural especially when he trots to the luxury tray!  sorry Bertie!  Ruggles of course communes (like it) with nature daily and nightly.  So really Owner is pretty well aligned up.  so for a treat today, there is a good cartoon of that very good shop sending out lots of good vibrations folks!
There it is! You could not turn round in this shop for falling over a book to sort you out inside and outside, crystals for every occasion and gemstones twinkling all around.  It is a blessing I said, that you stopped short at the bracelet Owner.  But she didn't hear me above going in the Narnia Cupboard to look for something.  She'll be gone for hours!!  I love it.
Fresh and natural para.  Guess what? No that is not it.  There was a knock on the front door that Owner could have heard from the luxury shed out back, and of course I ran straight upstairs because you don't know if it is those pesky invaders again, but no it was the Postie.  THANKYOU goes Owner and when I looked it was the catflap!  Yes it is the cat flap for Rugglesis luxury shed.  Now all she has to do, is contact our Super Handyman to sort out when this new job can be done.  I tell you it is all go here.  IT'S LUCKY I WAS IN goes Owner, fresh from popping into town and returning with a birfdee gift for aged sibling TICK, and a non essential item for herself.  NOT TICK.  It was a mistaken buy and will be returned TICK.  I love it.
Final Love the New Age para.  Last night there really wasn't anything on and we can vouch for that as we had to watch bits of Enders.  It was so annoying with this girl who we think is called Sindee but we mustn't swear to it (well Owner mustn't) she was having a baby, and making a fair noise about it and if it wasn't her it was Mick from the Vic on a swing.  Shall I send in a few good storylines goes Owner. IT CAN'T HARM  I went back.  Luckily tonight is a different story we have Corrie X 2 to keep us warm.  There will be Liz stomping into the clink to visit Jim, there is Jason wanting to bash in Todd like all else in the street and Madeh has had a personality transplant (says Owner).  You will want to know that me and Bertie have had a small scrap causing Owner to shout STOP IT Wonka, but it wasn't me.  Ruggles stayed very late last night and did call for his breakfast but not for tea as yet.  You wait til he has a little cat flap to jump through!  Now the weekend is here again and  I know you will all be happy and glad, mostly.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x 

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Soggy Thursdee

Wonka here.  At last Owner has finished that book..  I SKIPPED TO THE END she muttered before flinging it down the side.  Is this a good way to start the long day's journey into night I pondered up.  Me?  thanks for asking, I have no trouble falling asleep it seems to happen just as soon as I close my peepers.  Bertie as you know is near on permanently asleep in one cupboard and hideout or another.  As long as Owner does not start on a giant worry wart 2 mins before she puts the light out, or even better WHEN the light is out, we can look forward to a peaceful night.  There were no scraps out back, and no one had their outdoor light beaming into our bedroom like stalag wotsit.  Sorry Russia but I could not think of a better comparison for a minute.  I know!  like Alcatraz.  Sorry U S of A!  we love it.

Fresh but drizzled on para.  Owner had to get up ten mins before the  alarm started its relentless peeping and buzzing, then stopping then giving you a horrid jolt by starting again.  Do you remember the good old days when all an alarm clock did was rocket off into one long hideous noise and then stopped?  neither do I.  so once up and owner had got round and seen to me first then Bertie then Rug then herself, we lay there in wait for the engineer.  He is you remember coming to put the poor boiler right.  This is so we can enjoy searing hot radiators in time for the next heatwave.  we love it.

Gone all soggy para.  Yes it has stopped with the sun and back to drizzle setting.  They have warned of good weather for the weekend as it is nearly September and the schools will be dusting off their sorry classrooms ready for the next batch.  Please, goes Owner, to the great God in the sky of perfect jobs, find one for me.  I have to say I am busy in my small way, with a few prayers of my own as I do have concerns about our food supply, especially when Owner keeps on returning with the non essentials.  I NEED them, she says in her defence.  OH have to dash as there are two monsters at the  front door!

All OK Para.  yes alright it was the heating chaps.  There were two instead of the usual and lonely one.  I THINK HE HAS AN APPRENTICE goes Owner.   and she did report up that the usual one did all the riving about in the innards of the poor boiler whilst the new lad sat on the side talking non stop about cars.  The minute they left I shot down stairs to inspect the worksite.  THEY HAVE LEFT NOTHING says Owner, and more importantly WE HAD RED HOT WATER.  Now today's good cartoon must inform you about last night's baking debacle.  Owner says that is a word and I believe her.  It was all going to plan with a fab sponge here and an exceptional icing there and then it happened.  Baked Alaska was called for, and Iain from Northern Ireland missed the entire boat with it.  His ice cream melted and he threw it all in the bin.  I CAN RELATE TO THAT goes Owner.  Obviously I said nothing good folks out there admiring me for my tact and diplomacy,  So we have a tiny tribute to the good bake off.
Here it is!!  Centre is a happy baker!  (not Iain no) and there are good buns, dry buns, soggy bottom buns.  Owner's fave is there, the donut (I cannot spell it sorry England, sorry good spellers) and there is even a proper cold fridge and a bin.  The whole thing is now being called the bincident says Owner, because Iain flounced out, came back to be voted off, and now someone else who was accused of sabotage has also left.  Owner says she would have called in Miss Marple to solve.  And often it is the Maid what done it.  I love it.
 Sunny now not soggy para.  The sun came out half way through the day although Owner did not notice she has been in a frenzy yes frenzy of creative activity.  We are lucky the three of us that we got fed.  I AM ON A ROLL she goes.  She has now entered a big competition to create a poster for good Stephen Fry.  Do you mean Stephen Fry I ventured.  YES HIM she says back.  We love him.  Now last night we enjoyed Corrie x 1 and Tyrone will be off work for 2 months all because that conniving (get me) Todd cut corner with the plaster board and Jason knows the truth!  he was ready to punch the whole street but was stopped by his real Dad and for the life of us we cannot recall his name.  Steve from street cars (see we do know things) has gone to visit Peetah in the clink and knows the truth about Jim (his Dad).  Jim is to get a visit from Liz his ex wife not Steve but he doesn't know that yet.  I'M GOING TO SORT IT OUT she goes.  We love it.  Tonight, there is nothing on.  Yes there is athletics from somewhere in the Wold and I have begged Owner to turn it over.  WHAT TO she says, as there is nothing on.  Don't forget Owner I said, we still have a film to watch.  it is Frozen and we can watch it in the comfort of blasting heat from the fixed heating system.  We love it.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big love Wonka x

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Only Wednesdee Wednesdee

Wonka here.  It has gone hot.  Just when we were on full boiler alert, testing out the heating in advance of the freezing conditions expected following a good bank holidee.  I AM TOO HOT mutters Owner who woke up in the night and did the usual not listening to any advice (get up, make tea, read a book and such like) but lay there like a beached sardine.  I dare say if it had been a really good book Owner might have turned the light on and read.  As it was me and Bertie had to keep shifting round accordingly.  Finally, in a deep and refreshing sleep the good alarm went off. zzzzzz OH zzzzzzz 5 more mins! zzzzzz.  We love it.

Only Wednesdee Para.  It feels like it should be at least Thursdee or Fridee morning.  That is because Owner has not stopped doing things or as she puts it ACHIEVING.  To date she has rung everyone on the MUST RING list.  They have all been told what to do.  She has visited everyone on the TO VISIT list.  They have been visited within an inch of their sorry lives.  Now I didn't tell you but listen to this.  WHAT? you all wonder and gasp up.  There are a lot of piskeys and wishing wells and dangling donkeys all conspiring to create good energy and luck around Owner. But there is more.  MORE you all say with open mouths?  On Tuesdee, which was yesterdee but seems like 2 to 3 months ago Owner took an old cat bed to the local RSPCA shop.  They loved it Wonka she reports back, and then I thought I would have a look in the shops next door.   I know, how much have I warned about our dwindling finances?  Then she goes, I saw this lovely new, new age shop with crystals and wotnot.  This is when good folks, my heart sank.   Holding my breath I listened up to what Owner had to say............... I had to buy, she goes, a little bracelet made of these stones all helping me align and lock into that positive energy, plus a little lump of quartz.  OH I murmured wondering how much these magic gemstones had cost.  of course Owner will say you cannot put a price on these things.  YOU CANNOT PUT A PRICE ON THESE THINGS Wonka. I love it.

Cartoon ridden para.  today good folks is the story of Owner's deliverance last Sundee in the shape of a home delivery of food.  Well for us it was, me Bertie and Rug.  All that heavy old shopping brought to the threshold of our home!

There we are!  I am lurking round the corner of the good living room and Owner is greeting the delivery chap. I LOVE Home delivery she says.  And if Owner loves it, I love it.
Final what day is it really para.  There is not time to spare is Owner's motto at the moment and we are hardly settled somewhere all peaceful and calm when she is planning or preparing.  I have suggested a small bout of meditation to counteract (OOOH) all this activity but she didn't hear me above preparing the tea.  Tonight we will bask in front of Corrie x 1 and good Tyrone has gone and fallen through the loft.  Why oh Why you all ask?  Because conniving Todd has cut corners on the flooring. Plaster board will not hold Tyrone up.  We will watch that and then possibly the great baking show where all are busy baking bread and cake and being judged.  by Mary Berry who is exacting and finds fault easily with her eagle eye.  Paul Hollywood finds fault whilst smiling in your face.  Me?  thanks for asking, I am used to the direct approach (Owner,  All Owner's ancestors).  It is doubtful goes Owner we will stay up beyond that.  last night we watched Young Vets (very sad) and then the Lost Russian Princesses (far too sad) so I have suggested a lighter more fun telly experience.  As Enders is not on, we may manage this too.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Crack on Tuesdee

Wonka here.  We can barely keep up with what day it is and Owner reports feeling OUT OF KILTER.  So is everyone else it turns out as when Owner was queuing in the post office in that snakey thing did the woman in front 1.  indicate Owner was shoving into her with the card carousel - I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR BIRFDEE CARDS Wonka she tells me in her defence and then 2.  the same woman asked what day it was.  Did you know I ventured up from well behind the kitchen stroke dining room door?  Of course I knew she goes back. All were moaning up about the weather (in the snakey queue) and wondering why we have a bank holidee mundee in late August when it may as well be winter.   Some folks I observed (get me) are never satisfied I says, but Owner didn't hear me above moaning about how nice it was today when it wasn't a Bank Holidee.  I love it.

Cracking along para.  what is this Crack On jazz you all want to know.  As soon as the clock struck half past 8 did Owner begin on her list of phone calls.  Did she lose it you all say next up?  Only very very slightly on the call to aged parent's GP when the good receptionist seemed (to Owner you understand) a little bit impatient.  How did she counteract that you all shout up now?  By saying to said person and I quote:  Thank you for your patience.    And that good folks out there all rubbing your chins in wonder, rather sums Owner's entire approach to life up.  It is the direct approach and so far, no one has taken it too personally. So the day rather ticked over like that with one thing off the to do list followed by another.   Job? No one has flung themselves over the threshold shouting please come and work for me so far, but with the wishing well on the case, any day now we think.  I love it.

Cracked it maybe para.  The main thing to report is that Owner has contacted the Boiler people.  and guess what?  no that is not it.  they knew immediately thanks to Owner's good description what was wrong.  IT IS THE PRESSURE VALVE goes the engineer.  Blimey I said.  And they are coming to fit the new one on Thursdee.  Until then, Owner must keep adjusting the tap but at least in the sure knowledge we will not be blown to kingdom come whilst she is fooling around.  Only joking Owner!  for today's good photoshoot there is a cartoon of our lucky Cornish Piskey.  I am aware you will all want one now but only if you hot foot it down to Looe or Polperro:
There he is (or she)!  he is a dangler of course, a bit like the donkey off Owner's good pink bag.  the purse is new (of course) and finally purchased in the same shop in Looe as where Owner found her delux flip flops.  Another non essential buy good folks.  BUT, some would say the piskey is an essential, guarding the money and attracting luck all over the place!  We love it.
Final cracking para.  last night despite saying things like I AM SO TIRED, and I MIGHT LAST TIL 9, we stayed up til 10.  Owner nearly drifted off on the new bed settee as so snug.  Me?  thanks for asking, well I have my new perch atop the cushion on said settee and have dented it up nicely.  yes I am still giving the bottom a good scratching but so far you cannot tell.  Ruggles has been twice and may call for supper and daughter is to collect his new catflap tmro. Then says Owner, I can contact handyman.  STEADY I goes, my head whirling with appointment and such like.  Tonight in a small attempt to slow Owner down, there is Young Vets with Judy and co, then Enders to catch up with and we note that Max, the serial kiss me quick person in the square is to go on Strictly!  Goodness knows if he can dance as well as he can strike up a romance but we will see.  Then there is good Holby City with the usual sick jealousy and in fighting.  We love it.  Bring back Elliot we say, brain tumour or no.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big love Wonka x

Monday, 25 August 2014

Bank Holidee for some Mundee

Wonka here.  When we woke up Owner had set it on snooze and so zzzzzzzzzzzz she kept going 5 MORE MINS and then it was WHAT DAY IS IT?  of course it is Mundee but it is not a real day due to the bank holidee thing.  Not everyone has this.  And for all you good folk slaving away as it is an ordinary Mundee our hearts go out.  When we are not relaxing, snoozing, reading, watching more rubbish on the telly and generally having a day to ourselves.  We love it.

Bank holidee para.  of course there are still things to do.  What are they? you all gasp up, pausing in your hard jobs. List, 1.  Owner has to make sure me and Bertie Bubbles are seen to. 2.  More of number 1. 3.  and again. 4. send important emails to new companies who have recently taken over aged parent's care home. 5. send another email to make sure the first one is read. 6. adjust the heating according to whether it is a heat wave or freezing.  it is inbetween. 7. make a note to ring the plumber about the boiler.  So you see the wold doesn't stop, not for Owner anyway.  We love it.

*******************OWNER'S BOOKSLOT OF THE WEEK*********************

I am not sure Owner, I ventured, whether I like that text colour.  TOO LATE she goes, it is done now.  Onto the good book then.  Owner has chosen one of her favourite authors and it is:
Daphne Du Maurier.   'one of the Twentieth Century's most misunderstood and fascinating novelists' Sally Beauman.  If that doesn't wet your appetite then try this says Owner.  She wrote 'Rebecca' and 'Jamaica Inn'. 'Frenchman's Creek', 'The Scapegoat' and so many more...'Don't Look Now' is a horror supreme!  But the book of hers that Owner recommends you all rush out and read is:

There it is!!  OH we are back in the pink!!  This book is one of a kind, unusual and completely in a league of its own.  I have never read anything like it says Owner, and it is indeed one of those books you will not want to stop reading.  The best compliment we can pay any author is that we wish we had not read their book, and we pay it in full to this one.  It is a Du Maurier take on time travel set in the 1960s and of course in Cornwall. Beyond that you must read it and find for yourself the strange atmosphere only she can create.  Owner is also a big fan of Maps and here is the map to go with this book!

Here it is and once you have read the book, you will want to go there.  Owner cannot wait to go back to Cornwall and explore some more.  She has been to Jamaica Inn and says it is haunted! she loves it.
Final Bank hol para.  Now lots has happened in the Wide Wold, and Owner reports Dickie Attenborough is now flown up to the next room.  And he is? I enquired (get me).  WAS Wonka, she goes back, he was a famous actor, film director and adviser on all sorts of things.  He was in Jurassic park which we love and watch over and again and made a long film about that peacemaker Ghandi (who owner does like to quote now and then) and The Great Escape.  this film is on all the time and you all must have seen it by now.  It is not on today, but guess what is?  NO that is not it.  ZULU DAWN is on, and we may watch it as Owner's all time fave is ZULU.  It is the battle, she tells me, that precedes Rourkes Drift.  RIGHT I goes back.  Anything to keep Owner from falling to the wayside of darker settings and moods.  I love it.
Real Final para.  last night unbeknownst (OOH) to me Ruggles was settled on the good linen box in the kitchen and despite Owner's efforts to keep me and Bertie segregated I skipped through the open door to rub up against the catfood boxes as if to say I AM STARVING.  anyhow the next thing I am being hissed at by that monster I continually watch out for and had to race back through to the safety of the dining room!!  that was a close thing!  Bertie just slept through it but I did tell him how brave I was once Owner had stopped laughing.  I love it.  the other good thing was we watched Captain America to the end.  Was it a good thing you all gasp up?  it was a good attempt goes Owner, at a typical feel good boys own film.  Well I liked it, and there may be more to like too.  It says on the back it has moderate violence and I must say there seemed to be a lot of shooting, kicking, fighting, burning, blowing up and so on in it, yet Captain America does not die.    If we can cope tonight there is Corrie x 2 and will Peetah get Steven to visit his Da in the clink?  Will Gail stop twinkling away at Michael aka Les Dennis? and will Kylie stop being nice to David?  That is a yes Owner thinks.  Just a thought, if you are hanging out for more info on the remote which took an unexpected soaking yesterdee.  After a few attempts to use all the little eensy weensy buttons, and the menu kept flying off to the right and for some reason settling on Adult films (NO Wonka!) and then Asian Radio (??) it is back to normal.  DONT DO THAT AGAIN I warned from that nice new dark corner of the bedsettee but she didn't hear me above putting a rice pudding in the oven.  For later.  I love it.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x


Sunday, 24 August 2014

Deliverance Sundee

Wonka here.  You will all be busting to know whether we slept alright and the answer is a big fat YES. We have been trotting to bed at tenish, well Owner has whilst I check on all down below.  yes I do need to give Bertie Bubbles a tiny chase up the stairs.  he loves it really and doesn't growl half so much as he used to.  Owner is reading a sensible romantic book that although is not frightening is in danger of getting on her nerves.  A test of any decent book dear folks out there all wishing you had one, is you cannot put it down even if it is time to go to bed, go out, do some important task, answer the phone or the door.  Owner thinks she may recommend a book tomorrow seeing as it is a Bank Holiday and not a real live day.  I love it.

Deliver me para.  What is this deliverance thing you all wonder up?  This morning, Owner's life was transformed by the delivery of two tons of cat litter, two tons of cat food and a few other essential items.  This way, I ventured, you are unlikely to buy non essential items costing us a fortune that we don't have.  YOU ARE RIGHT she says back, trundling back and forth with all the heavy items.  It seems Owner was happy to have them all plonked in the hallway and so was the Delivery Man.   I like this Wonka, it is going to revolutionise (Owner helped me spell that one) our shopping.  I cannot tell you good folks out there all considering doing the same, we will save millions.  Owner's latest philosophy in keeping with her ability to spend cash we do not have is and I quote:  WE DON'T OWN ANYTHING.  I said, is this to do with that Marx chappie?  It might be Wonka she says back.  I love it.

Fresh delivered up para.  Now it does seem a long time ago, but whilst Owner dallied in Cornwall and visited Plymouth she did of course spend some money which she says is alright because it was a charity.  A HOSPICE SHOP called St Lukes she says.  So I must let her off with those purchases one of which was this fat donkey, pony, horsey ornament.  I know.  But Owner loved it on sight, that and the green silky yellow fringed throw that is keeping the new bed settee looking smart.  here is said pony:
There he is!!  Owner thinks his name is (uninspired but true.  get me)Plymouth.  or Plymmie for short.  he lives on the dining table along with all sorts of other things Owner had to have or was given.  Just to the side of him is a donkey with cart.  yes Owner likes to put things in the cart.  We love it.
Final delivering up para.  Owner has been swimming and is pleased to report the water was warm and apart from having to listen to a mother and child talk through each step of getting ready to swim including putting their things in a locker, she did not lose it with anyone.  She was safe in a cubicle and could not make facial expressions or mutter.  WELL DONE I goes, wondering if this good mood brought about by shopping deliveries can last.  I then went on she reports, to water Mother's plants in the Home she may go back to.  this is the next vital stage in aged parent's own deliverance package.  And if she cannot go back to that Home, Owner must rush round and find another.  Luckily, Owner is still on the ALL WILL WORK OUT FINE setting and I do not need to rush under the bed as yet.  Now Ruggles has called twice, once for breakfast and once for an afternoon snack.  I have nothing against snacking and neither does Bertie, but I am keeping a close eye on our supplies.  Tonight there are some bit and bobs to watch.  One of them is The Village which has changed from being dark and cold and unfair to equal rights for Women and jolly times.  We may give it one more try.  And if not, there are still my two DVDs in waiting.  There is just one tiny problem stopping us from turning on the good telly and here it is.  Owner has dropped the good remote in a bowl of water that has gone stone cold and was to give her the luxury  of a foot soak.  it is even now drying on a red hot radiator.  The strange buttons on the side of the tv are tempting but I have warned Owner against pressing them in case we lose the entire network.    Now do go steady out there all you good folk in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 23 August 2014

Civilised Satdee

Wonka here. It is hard to concentrate as 1.  Owner got heating on and I keep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and other thing is we are watching the late great Michael Jackson's This is it!! Owner has to watch it every time it comes on, and he is mesmerising.  IT WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT goes Owner in a trance.  She loves him.

Fresh and civil para.  today has just been a very down to earth civilised day all round.  It began with a nice phone call.  This makes a giant change for Owner who is more used to annoying and fretful phone calls.  it turns out it was another handyman returning a call.  HE WAS SO NICE Wonka I am saving his number and name (Chris the builder).  This will be for the next inevitable job (love that word I do).  In the meantime, here is a good cartoon of the real Handyman poised to put the catflap in the luxury shed.  That's if the tomato triffid plant out there hasn't taken it over.  The last time Owner watered it she reports it will not stop growing!  Yes we have some tomatoes!!
There it is!  that is me perusing (OOH) the good back yard and there is one of the little gnomes to the left and our light up solar plastic tulips to the right and there smack bang up top is Owner chatting nicely (in a civilised fashion) to the super handyman.  There is also a glimpse of Baba's Buddleia!  and right on the shed door does it say RUG LIVES HERE!  We love him.
Fresh and more like it para.  Owner continued on her civil way visiting first aged sibling and then aged parent now languishing in a nearby hospital with a new and complex parking system.  I NEARLY LOST IT she reported when she fell back in with a few tiny supplies (you will recall we await a gigantic online shop tomorrow morning!  exciting or what!).  There was a ramp, there was a metal bar thing, tickets to get out of machines, and the EXIT sign was near on invisible!  Luckily no one was near enough to Owner to hear that word repeated several times, and of course I would have said Stop It! to Owner if I had been there to guide.  Was it a good visit I ventured?  VERY CIVILISED goes Owner who even chatted nicely to the Nurse in charge of Mother. I was impressed she goes, with the information.  Blimey I says coming out from behind the new bed settee!  Even Bertie Bubbles emerged (ooh) from the Narnia cupboard, expecting some fodder.  Owner's other name for him, alright one of them, is fruit bat.  To do with being in cupboards in the dark we think.  I love it.
Final civilised para.  I HAVE BOUGHT A LOTTO Ticket, she goes.  It had better be the winning one then I says.   I mean, our finances are teetering on the edge good folks without buying lotto tickets.  I told her to put it under the lucky Cornish piskie, who dangles from her purse.  That should do it.  Now last night we made it through a lot of telly.  We did watch Young Vets and now love Judy.  also we loved a little baby hedgehog that was sent straight to heaven, and Vinnie who was a horse having a tooth out.  Owner had big sympathies and did look away at the gory bit.  There was Corrie X 2 and bashed on the head Nick has come clean about his fake headaches!  Peetah is still going funny in the other nick (!) and Carling black eyebrows had her car pinched by Madeh.  We are afraid there will be an unlikely liaison there.  FOR GOODNESS SAKE goes Owner.  Tonight we must watch Casualtee and might tune in for a look at the new Doctor Who.  We are not, like the rest of the Wold, slaves to the Doctor.  I mean I don't understand the storylines but what do I know? Time to check out back for Ruggles who has his own Tardis (! Owner thinks this is an ace name for the delux shed).  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x


Friday, 22 August 2014

Crack on Fridee

Wonka here.  it's official, we are broke and Owner does not have a job.  where I says, do you think we will end up.  WE WILL BE ALRIGHT Wonka she goes.  As I have tried to tell you good folks out there all being practical and saving, and working like crazee, Owner's philosophy is built around something turning up.  NOT, I warned Owner, if you are not sticking to your plans.  BUT I AM, she tells me.  Now like most even minded folks, I need proof.  I NEED PROOF I ventured up from under the bed.  I love it.

Fresh get a move on Para.  first things first, and it is that time of the month when one of us (not me) needs the treatment.  Bertie Bubbles does not realise what he is in for so Owner grasps him firmly...well not firmly enough as he escaped the first time.  IT IS ONLY, she goes, A TINY THING ON YOUR NECK.  Finally, Bertie has the dose and is warned by all not to lick it.  Have you tried to lick the back of your neck lately?  Impossible.  Owner's stars today by the good Russell Grant, and we love him, warn of mountains out of molehills and worrywarts, and does she live up to this one.  YES.  She is worried about all.  About (list) Ruggles, Bertie and ME, then money, jobs, aged parent and birthdays.  It is all too much she moans up.  One thing at a time I ventured, and I did encourage her to apply for that job she saw the other day.  TICK.  it has been duly applied for.  you are sorting out Ruggleses Shed I said so TICK.  Me? thanks for asking, I am alright to be going on with so TICK. Owner has forgotten why she is worrying over Bertie Bubbles so half a tick.  On to the important things which are job and money.  I love it.

Cracking on para:  more good news on the aged parent front is that she is now in a nearby hospital.  this cuts the angst factor by half.  The Birthdays are all coming up and it is a round of birthdays. First up is aged sibling, then Daughter  then Owner.  Do not ask.  just don't.  For today's good cartoon we are again spoilt for choice but there is a good cartoon of the latest addition to our brood (like it).  And it is little Peggy soo, who daughter has taken on and is still living in grandson's bedroom.  only coming out for small excursions.  We love her and here she is:
Here she is!!  she really does have emerald green eyes and is fluffy as you like.  her tail was all fluffed out like a big shock and we absolutely love her!  welcome to the brood little Peggy!
More cracking on para.  What else you all gasp up has Owner been up to.  considering she announced she was having a LAZEE DAY, she has applied for the job online and get this, has finally good folks, made that decision.  WHAT! you all shout up!  to order the mountains of catfood and luxury cat litter et al on line too.  yes it cost a fortune which we don't have but at least she will have lots more time apply for jobs to pay for it all.  I love it.
Final cracked on all over para.  so today has turned into a fairly big TICK day.  it is Fridee and the good weekend is here followed by a good bank holiday.  some of you are thinking what is that we don't have one.  It is another day off folks.  Except when you are not working and then it is just another day.  Last night we fell in love with the Young Vets on Beeb 2.  they are all on placements and some are more confident than others.  We like Judy who is at an emergency thingy and we liked Ellie who was on a farm.  And we specially liked biscuit who is a miracle dog and is alright now.  We love him!. so we can watch it tonight and see what else is going to be saved and rescued.  right up Owner's street.  There is Corrie x 2, and bashed on the head Nick is still playing his games plus he keeps going into the kebab shop.  Where good Leeane is now working.  I must say they all get jobs alright on Corrie.  \if we can manage to stay up we will continue to watch that new comedy Boomers  as laughing is a big TICK and crying jags are not.  IT IS GOOD TO GO TO BED ON, says Owner.  As long as, I goes, you don't then read a book that makes you feel funny.  YOU are funny Wonka she says back.  I love her.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 21 August 2014

Handyman Thursdee

Wonka here.  we slept like a dream all us slumbering away with no incidents.  No scrapping inside and no scrapping out back.  Even the tweenies (baby gulls.  don't ask) and the big boy and girl gulls kept the noise down.  UP WE GET goes Owner all fresh and ready to face a new day.  And, THE HANDYMAN IS COMING.  Oh I goes, belting downstairs before Bertie has even noticed it is time to get up.  If I get down first, I can inspect the luxury trays, eat some biscuits if Bertie has left me any and get in the queue.  I love it.

First Handy para.  At exactly 8 30 am, does a knock come on the good front door and I rush to inspect the knocker.  No it is not the Vikings, or the aliens from mars so that is alright then and I am just about to warn Owner of this when she flings opens the front door anyway.  What if, I advised from the safety of the living room, that had been the dread invaders Owner!  but she didn't hear me above taking the Handyman (Hallo handyman she goes) down the side way to our good back yard.  Don't blame me I shouted through the window that looks out back, if he turns out to be a werewolf or such like!  Again she couldn't hear me above pricing up the job.  WHAT JOB you all shout up?  the job of making our luxury shed even more luxury.  it will be accessible via a delux catflap. Daughter is buying this and Owner reports it will be a (quote) bogstandard catflap so Ruggles can squash in and out with any of that silly magnetic collar claptrap.  I said claptrap sounds like catflap if you say it quickly.  What are you on about Wonka she goes back.  Also, it will be insulated.  WHAT IS THAT I wondered up.  it is, says Owner, bits of board with stuff in between.  Blimey, those builders know what to do eh!  I only hope dear folks out there that Ruggles appreciates all of this.  I love him.  sort of.

Fresh handyman is the new superman para.  The minute the job is done there will be a good cartoon to show it all off.  but in the meantime, we must show you Owner's new dangly donkey.  it lives on her bag and comes from Percy's Tamar donkey Sanctuary in Cornwall:

Here he is!!  yes it is a good and blurry photee shot!  In the front and hogging all the attention is a little dog thing that Owner won on the amusements down south Bay.  It was one of those shove tuppences things she says, where you feed in the tuppence and it is supposed to shove the money and prizes down the chute..  I think it cost me about 4 or 5 pounds. (but she loves him!) and in the background laying on his side is dangly donkey purchased by her good friends. That silvery thing is a multi-coloured heart which you cannot see from this side, and Owner's daughter got that.  Just how many dangly things are swinging from her best pink bag you all shout up?  Only four, counting the wonkaandmousey keyring that no one has tried to buy off our gift shop.  I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHERED she grumbled up.  Well I like it, and some of our friends have got one I ventured up.  I spose so, she goes.  She loves it.
Final jobs a goodun para.  While we are waiting for the good catflap to arrive with high hopes that Rug will squash his big teddy bear head through it there is an update on Peggy Soo the new cat on the block at Daughters.  she spent the night crushed up in a duvet in grandson's bedroom and has more or less camped out there.  There will be a good cartoon to follow of course.  Now last night we just about made it through  Corrie X 1, and Peetah is on the brink of shivering himself into a shadow without the good supplies from Jiminey Cricket in the clink, selling alcohol to the other inmates.  Good Ken is fighting the urge to tell all.  Maddeh has told Carling Black eyebrows to stuff the job that was not offered to her, doing some packing in the warehouse.  I wish I had a packing job goes Owner but I assured her she doesn't.  We love it, and then we managed the baking off of lots and lots of bread.  Rye Bread, stuffed bread, breakfast in a bun bread and even strawberry bread.  Norm is still in it and Luis is the star.  Tonight there is nothing on though.  alright there is the new Vets are us programme on Beeb 2.  if I can cope with the gory operations I will watch it says Owner.  Me?  thanks for asking, behind the new settee with my paws over my eyes.  Bertie bubbles cannot see the tv from the Narnia cupboard but I have told him about the Vets are us incase he wants to watch it.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big love Wonka x

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Visiting Visiting Wednesdee

Wonka here.  It has been a long long day here with visitings going but carrying on elsewhere.  Yes.  What do you mean you all gasp up?  Sebe's Owner (that darling tabby who resides in some style down in Portsmouth) has un-visited.  it happened this morning and when I saw the giant suitcase I did think for a teensy weensy moment that my Owner was trotting off on another jaunt.  IT IS NOT ME she says, I am driving Sebe's Owner over to her next port of call.  Calm down Bertie I advised, we are not at the mercy of the Aunties but I don't think he heard me above eating every single sensitive biscuit in the saucer.  I love it.

Non stop visiting para.  Owner has been on a non stop flurry of visiting just lately with her trip down to good Plymouth hardly settling down when another visit arrives.  As reported I have never know Owner have so much fun food and wine in a short space of time.  THAT'S FRIENDS for you she gabbled at me before flinging out to take the latest visitor on her next journey.  Me?  thanks for asking, and I have been spoilt rotten as envisaged (ooh I say).  I have tackled my dangly monkey to death and cuddled up to every catnip toy in reach.  On Mundee night and Tuesdee when I rested up on my new snuggle spot on the new bed settee did I get lots of AH Wonkas, and OOH Wonkas.  It is hard Bertie, I advised from the safety of my amazon box, to be spoilt if you are hiding in the Narnia Cupboard.  I love him.

  We love visitings para.  for today's good cartoon Owner has done us proud with this one:
There I am!! and that is Sebe's Owner rushing to adore me.  I only hope Sebe isn't too jealous when he finds out.  I am sitting on my life like mousey with catnip and there is the original mousey down the side,  Owner is looking on proudly.  I love it.
Final visiting para.  now whilst Owner was saying goodbye to this visitor she then fits in another visiting!!  Who with you all gasp up!  With good daughter that is who with. and guess what?  No that is not it.  Good daughter is to adopt a cat.  yes.  Owner has seen said cat and it is called Peggy.  She reports it is fluffy and has marmalade black and white colouring with emerald green eyes.  IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT she says.  Owner says Peggy was rescued from Jacksons Bakery car park and was playing dodge the lorry.  While I was there, goes Owner I purchased a catflap for the luxury shed.  OH YES I says.  and I have arranged for a handyman to come and look and price up the job she continued on.  I only hope good folks out there all thinking about having a job priced up, that the handyman turns out to be OK.  I will be watching him all the time from my backyard lookout (top of sideboard).  If it stops Owner going on a giant worrywart about Rugglesis keeping warm and safe it will be worth it.  Just.  Now tonight we have Corrie x 1 and then the great bake off.  Owner has caught up with Corrie and reports that ken and deardree are back from Wales and Peetah's drinking in the clink has been spotted by that sharp sighted leeane.  YOU HAVE BEEN DRINKING! she accuses and trots off out of it with good Simon the light of Peetah's life.  Yes team tracee is still lurking and even getting married.  That other couple says Owner are getting on my nerves.  Right.  Now all this visiting has worn me right out as I have been on my best behaviour and making sure about my good side and so on.  Even Bertie has calmed down a bit on the luxury tray front.  And Ruggles?  Been an adorable friendly teddy bear stray.  so plenty of zzzzz for us now.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Holidee at home Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Howdy folks!  A short weather report to follow:  it is cooler and breezy and I have been snuggling on down on my new perch atop the bed settee.  That and my box which is a box for all seasons really.  So I am letting Owner off about the heating.  Nestling on the perch which happens to be right  next to a red hot radiator I am not complaining.  Not.  Bertie is safe and snug in his palace and the other nests and Ruggles?  Owner went on a giant worrywart about WILL HE BE WARM ENOUGH Wonka.  As if I spend night and day caring about that!  Why not, I suggested, make his box more warm and snug.  So Owner sped out and adjusted it, with his special heated pad and all.  This good morning was he nestled in it like a big fat teddy bear Ruggles!   We love him.

Fresh holidee spirit para.  What is this now you all wonder, haven't you just been on a giant holidee? Owner is now on holidee in her own town due to Sebe's Owner being here too.  So far (list) they have been to an Italian eatery which was beaut, down North Bay for breakfast, also beaut, and done in £2 in the amusements and won nothing.  There is a giant sculpture down the Sea Front of Freddy Gilroy who was an ordinary (not famous) man who fought in WW2 and was a miner too, and it is all done in steel by hand.  Blimey I said, just how big is it Owner.  MASSIVE she goes, and he is seated on a big steel bench looking out to sea.  Owner thinks she has a photoshoot of Freddy and will let us have a look at him:
There he is!!  All the visitors along the seafront stop and have their photees taken sitting on him and next to him.  We love Freddy and he belongs to Scarborough North Bay!
Fresh and breezy Holidee para.   Owner says is now stepping out for some fish and chips and I must say I have never known her eat so much in a short space of time.  Bertie as you know has an appetite fit for an elephant, alright a much larger cat then, but as I said to Owner as they jogged off out again YOU ENJOY YOURSELVES!  Far be it for me to get in the way of Owner's jolly holiday spirit.  Is she still counting on a miracle to rescue her fortunes you all wonder up?  yes, yes she is.  And this is the major difference between me and Owner good folks out there all being sensible and counting the pennies, Owner thinks something will turn up and I know it won't.  I love it.
Final holidee para.   Tonight there is a chance that I will finally get to see a film.  it may not be the film I want to see but still.  If we don't want a film there is Enders and Holbee City and Doctors having flings with the wrong one and trainee Doctors mucking it all up.  Personally I am holding out for Captain America and if not Frozen which is more in keeping with our poor boiler and heating system.  Owner has to keep adjusting it and I am afeared she will adjust it too far.  Why not, I ventured up from behind the living room door, get the plumber in to look at it.  but she didn't hear me above turning some taps on til it made a whooshing noise in the poor boiler.  FIXED IT! she shouts up.  I rest my paws and everything.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Monday, 18 August 2014

Wishing Well Mundee

Wonka here.  singing...going to make a wishing well my hopes inside it....Owner thinks it was Wet Wet Wet (not outside although it is) that did a song something along those lines.  I promised you a cartoon of said Well and here it is good folks out there!  You are all welcome to make your wish just like we have.  Do they come true you all gasp up?  Owner reports that they have a 100% success rate for everyone else except her.  All in good time Owner I advised her.  Dreams and wishes do come true, if you just wait.  I love it.

Wishing Well para:
There it is!!  our resident wishing well.  It lives on a shelf in the Narnia cupboard alongside books and toy leopards.  Owner reports that when she had her last proper job (she means full time and all of that ) they used to get things 'given'.  Was it a charity I ventured?  YES sh says.  And one time there was a bag of bits and bobs and this was in it.  Plus a tray with cats on.  yes we have got the tray with cats on.  So when that job whittled away to nothing, Owner brought the Well home.  I might have a use for it here she said.  All you do is make a wish and pop a 5 pee coin in and that good folks out there is it.  I will keep you posted on Owner's wish.  I love it.

Fresh all is well para.  Owner has been a busy bee today preparing for the visiting.  The monster did come out and me and Bertie cleared off upstairs.  SEE YOU SOON she shouts up as she dashes off to the train station to meet Sebe's Owner!!  Get ready Bertie I said, to be spoilt rotten!

Wish come true para!  Been spoilt rotten which is my wish come true never mind Owner's!  I have met up with Sebe's Owner and been played with non stop.  That dangly monkey thing, well I have given it a good whacking and I love it!  Bertie has been introduced and gone back in his palace and Ruggles?  on the good back door mat.  Now I have to report that Owner came home earlier with two non essentials.  I COULD NOT RESIST she says.  neither could the credit card.  I rest my paws and everything.   One of the things is pink and the other is black and white. She loves them.

Final wishes galore para.  tonight Owner is to step off out.  We cannot remember when she last did this being a full time hermit and all.  She will go to an Italian eatery with Sebe's Owner and may be gone for some time.  you will miss corrie x 2 I goes, and Enders.  I can catch up she says.  me?  thanks for asking I will rest up, possibly on the new bed settee and now Owner has got the radiators back on it is very snug.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 17 August 2014

Dreams ahoy Sundee

Wonka here.  Owner has reported a full on night of dreams.  OH YES I goes back having passed a beaut night's sleep myself with only a tiny scrap or two with Bertie.  There was a structure made of bones she tells up, and I climbed down it and this bone person climbed up the other.  OH I goes.  In another bit she says, I was singing along with all these children.  BRILL I goes back.   she may have told me more good folks out there but I may have dozed off.  I love it.

Dreams continuing para.  there is an early photoshoot today of me dreaming.  I said to Owner it is about time there was a nice photee of me.   Here it is.
There I am! cuddled up to my best toy from last Xmas and resting up on an old ball stringy thing with a rattle inside it.  Next to me is my own special carrier bag with even more fave toys in it.  I wonder what I shall get this Xmas?  I love it.
Fresh dreamy para.  Owner finally whittled off out to (list) 1. Swim 2.  shop and 3.  visit aged parent.  when she rolled back up it seemed only 2 to 3 seconds since I had warned her to be a nice driver.  I'LL TRY she shouts back.  Well?  I says to her inspecting all the shopping.  I could not find any non essentials so she has a TICK for that one.  She reports being a nice swimmer and was not rude to anyone there and wait for it, a civilised driver too.  IT WAS A DREAMY RIDE she says.  As to the visit, aged parent and Owner discussed the state of the Wold, admittedly Owner did most of the talking here leaping from one war zone to another and back again.  Aged parent did drop off a couple of times and may have missed some of Owner's new report.  I ended up, goes Owner, on the death of two beloved stars Robin Williams and Lauren Bacall.  Linked in death if not in life she continued on.  But, she says, I think aged parent missed that bit too.  Who said Life is but a dream?  We think it was Shakespeare and he is not wrong.  We love him.
Final dream laden para.  last night we managed to stay up fairly late.  Well 9 30 ish.  We did try that new game show called tumble and Owner fixated (like that word) on the judges.  How so you all wonder up?  Because she didn't know two of them and is now a fan of the French one.  Name? you all gasp up.  We think it is Sebastian because they kept calling him Seb.  We may watch it next week just for him as the contestants were all doing things with hoops in the air that didn't quite do it for us.  Who is presenting it but good Alex Jones who turns up all over the place and according to Owner IS OUT OF HER COMFORT ZONE.  Casualtee trundled on with no sign of Charley Farley or maybe we looked away.  Zoe is having a fling and that's all there is to say about that and the Witchey one, Connie is now top dog.  We love it.  Tonight we will take it steady as Owner is still on a cleaning jag and preparing for the visiting!  I have had a talk with Bertie around things like cutting down on using the luxury tray and hissing.  For my benefit never mind the Visitor!!  only joking!!  Ruggles can do what he wants because he is slightly bigger than me, and me? thanks for asking, I will display my best qualities as per.  if we get time off, there is The Village, a dark tale of life in a, in a village! just after the first Wold War it is and the division between the haves and the have nots is MASSIVE says Owner.  On a final positive note and this may interest those folk reading this to the bitter end (!) Owner has made a new wish in our wishing well.  Those of you still awake are saying I DID NOT KNOW YOU HAD ONE.   tomorrow we may do a cartoon on it.  The wish?  Owner has wished for a good job.  There must be one out there she goes. The new week is here so do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x 

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Holidee Blues Satdee

Wonka here.  All slumbered away until 8 am ish.  5 MORE MINS said Owner and I must say I enjoyed a bit more zzzzzzzzzzzz too.  Bertie stayed put on his pillycase and quite rightly came downstairs after me.  But guess what?  No that is not it, you nearly got it though....because the temperature has dropped a nth of a fraction of a miniscule farenheit (wrong spelling don't care) Owner has caved in and put the heating back on.  IT IS ALRIGHT Wonka she shouts up, because IT IS ON THE TIMER.  by this folks she means it is not on CONSTANT and if it was I would be zzzzzzzzzzzand unable to report up anything.  I rest my paws and all else.  I love it.

We got the blues para.   After the house had warmed up to boiling point and even Owner had to adjust the dials and knobs and taps and that, she flung out for some more supplies and a visit to aged sibling.  Although she had sent him a postcard he had forgotten already that she had been away.  I mean I remember it well, let me see now ??  Only joking Owner!!  but did Owner keep looking at the clock and going, this time last week I was at so and so, and this time on the such and such we were all doing........ the apr├Ęs holidee blues have landed folks.  it is all I can do to cheer her along saying things like, but one of the Fab Four Friends is due up here on Mundee.  I KNOW she says back and (quote) I am preparing for the visiting.  Now this friend is the proud owner of Sebe, who you have all seen cartoons of.  My Owner fell in love with Sebe and for all of 5 mins I was jealous.  But. I am over that now, and in keeping with my best philosophy (OOH) I am about to level it all up.  Sebe will now be jealous of me!!!  I love it.

Holidee Blues para.  For our cartoon, Owner has kindly supplied this one.  It is of a tour around the Plymouth Gin works and was according to Owner, BRILLIANT.  The Gin works used to be a monastery until good Henry viii knocked all that on the head and I'm sure he would appreciate what it turned into.  This Plymouth Gin is all made there in these big vats with lots of botanicals (spices and herbs and such) and lots of other strange workings that are a big secret.  IT HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER goes Owner from the original family and they have made it very popular round the Wold!!
There we are!!  The three friends are all listening up to the tour guide and after the tour did they all have a free gin and tonic!!  Owner says I DO NOT DRINK SPIRITS and blow me down the next thing she is 'trying' it.  I liked it, she says.  Good Folks out there all now wanting a tall glass of the same,,we love it!
Final blues para.  last night we managed to stop up til 9 30 ish and watch a new comedy.  Was it funny you all wonder up?  Owner did laugh a few times so it has got our vote and it is called Boomers on good beeb one, Fridee night at 9 pm.  It started with a funeral which is always funny says Owner.  I know.  Before that we managed our dose of Corrie and nasty nick is now faking head traumas to annoy good Leeanne.  but his bruvverly bruv David is on the case.  didn't he used to pull stunts like that you all gasp up and the answer is yes but after that bash to his head Nick has gone funny.  In Enders, someone burnt a beanie hat and is now a chief suspect for getting rid of Lucee.  I ask you.  tonight we will give a new game show 2 mins of our time and if it cheers Owner up and stops the blues we can like it.  Then there is good Casualtee which I know is all about hospitals but Charlie will sort it all out.  he always does.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it and especially if your holidee is over.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 15 August 2014

Cool Fridee

Wonka here.  What to report up this good morn?  me and Bertie only scrapped a couple of times in the night.  OH alright three then.  Maybe four, but the good news is Owner barely noticed.  she fell asleep in minutes of trying to read the same sentence over and over.  When it failed to make sense she turned off the light.  and the next thing we knew I was jumping on her feet and avoiding Bertie who was hissing at me from the side of her pillow.  All is back to normal and we love it.

Fresh gone a lot cooler para.  Owner reports that the train from York to Plymouth which says it is a cross country train and stops just about everywhere (give me the name of a town, city or minute village she goes because we stopped in it) was freezing.  I had to put two jumpers on she moaned up and the paccamac on to keep warm coming back and just about stayed above turning blue going down.  Was it the air conditioning I said helpfully.  IT IS NOT WARM ENOUGH, she shouts up, in this country for that!  Owner's friends insisted on trotting round in sleeveless tops and such like whilst Owner was well covered up.  I am glad, I ventured, to hear that the paccamac came in.  You will recall that when Owner purchased this I had recommended it to the armed forces for keeping warm in all conditions.  And dry,  And storm proof.  Owner wore it on many outings and says:  I loved it!

All weathers para.  yesterdee did Owner take the journey to see aged parent who is still languishing in hospital.  It was a fair to middling visit and Owner only swore slightly at some of the drivers on the way home.  Are you taking out your angst (get me) on the other road users I whispered up from well behind the new settee.  it is a bit of a squash now to get behind it but there is a nice new hidey hole to the side of it where I can whisper up in safety.  HE CUT ME UP ON A ROUNDABOUT she squawked back at me and I tell you good folks I am only glad I was not that driver.  You will all want to know were there any other Owner incidents to report and there are.  The main one to report concerns a bag in a sale, in a well known shop that has a name like a watering hole in the desert.  In Plymouth (sorry Plymouth).  Owner made her friends go in there because and I quote:  I love this shop she said.  what happened next you all shout up?  After what seemed like hours, Owner finally selects a lime green clutch bag with a goldy chain thing and a big ticket on it announcing:  I HAVE A FAULTY STRAP.  Despite this Owner still loves it and will buy it.  In the sale.  More to follow.  I love it.

Fresh and breezy para:  continuing our incident of the week.  Owner takes beaut bag to the till where a young lady of fashion model looks starts the long journey into the till and multi explanations that need to go IN THE SYSTEM.  Owner fetches out her credit card ready. I know I know.  All went well until.  (sound of the warning Klaxon) the fashion model in waiting announces that because it is a faulty bag in the sale Owner must not return it.  I DO NOT WANT TO RETURN the bag goes Owner who is still waiting to buy it.  and this is where it all fell to pieces good folk out there thinking AND!  Fashion model said to Owner, she says, I am going to put a red dot on the label in the bag in case you try to return it and ask for your money back.  Owner came to, out of her dream caused by waiting for 5 minutes whilst the fashion model and yet another sharply dressed assistant guided her through the maze of questions on the (computerised folks) till.  I DO NOT WANT A RED DOT IN THE BAG I AM BUYING says Owner.  It turned out, after fetching the Manager which makes it three fashion models at the till, that Owner must have a red dot in her bag.  Then what happened says I?  The Manager started on a long explanation of why I must have a red dot on the label and I simply shoved the bag at her, told my friends we were leaving and left, she goes.  Another non essential expense scuppered (ooh!!)  and I love it!  so our cartoon today is all about this very bag:
There it is!  Owner trying to buy the lime green bag sans dot!!  which simply means without and any of our beloved French folk will know.  I love it.
Final warmed up a bit para.  Owner has been to the shops for more essential supplies and no incidents worthy of reporting up (that's what she says now).  Tonight we have the bliss of Corrie x 2 and if Owner remains in a calm state I may suggest Enders just to see if we can catch up after a week.  I say we can.  No Owner has still not put that film on I asked for.   I know.  We searched half heartedly for a good programme last night and hit ZERO.  all we could find was Location etc and these couples bowling round houses going I LIKE IT or, mumble mumble car park, small garden with Phil being overruled by thingy.  We have finally got to the end of another strenuous week folks, and I only hope you have got by.  I must dash as (list) 1.  Ruggles is on the good back door step asleep despite the noise from our neighbours yard and may want feeding 2.  I have not checked on Bertie for ages and 3.  I thought I heard Owner mention getting the monster out of the Narnia cupboard.  do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Back to Earth Thursdee

Wonka here.  All is peaceful all is............hang on what am I saying!!  I am so happy that Owner has returned despite the flurry of activity and constant washing.  Every time I have sat down or settled nicely does Owner wash round me or even talk of the Monster.  I MUST GO ROUND WITH THE MONSTER she keeps on.  Bertie Bubbles is sound as a pound in his lair BUT, since Owner has whipped away his best blanket for the wash, he is now laying on fresh pilly cases and we must call it his palace.  NOW IT IS CLEAN she goes.  I love it.

Back to it para.  The nice thing about going away says Owner, is coming home. Righto I goes back.  Now I must say she is a proper whirling dervish and finally whizzled (my word I made it up and I like it,) off on her rounds.  Before that though she is even now on with a new project and it is family history this time on her beloved Dad's side.  This means nice old bits of paper I can lay on .and looking at lots of black and white photies.  Her Dad's Dad was born at  the turn of the century and has written it all down.  I HAVE DISCOVERED, she shouts up, A NEW GREAT UNCLE.  And he fought in the first World War and lived past it.  So I am trying hard not to lay in the blue box with all the important paperwork and such and so far I have not done so.  but, I love it.

short interlude of Photos para:  One of the things Owner did was to revisit her beloved donkey Sanctuary in Cornwall.  it is the Tamar one and she went to see Percy.  She says (I believe her too) that she called to him and even though he was scoffing a load of hay he came over to say hello.  So did another nice brown donkey and here they are:

Percy is on the left and nice brown donkey (I said to Owner you should have found out his good name but she is besotted....OOOH...with Percy) to the right.  they had lots of nice strokes on the nose and Owner was given a gift by her two friends patiently waiting.  guess what it was?  NO it wasn't that is was a beaut little tiny donkey on a chain that is even now dangling from Owner's best heavyweight pink bag.  She loves it.

Final back to earth if we must Para.  Me and Owner spent last night in the same whirlwind of PUTTING THINGS RIGHT now I am back home kind of an evening.  We saw a smidgeon of Corrie and note that Gail has been run over on her foot by her new and best friend Michael aka Les Dennis.  We know that Peetah has decided to vote I mean plead NOT GUILTY and it is all down to his new mucker JIM who was once married to Steve's Mum in the Rovers.  Now she is having a dalliance with thingy who is Todd's Dad we think and we also do not trust him.  Tonight for some reason Beeb 2 is devoted to more sport.  We are so sported out we don't even know where or why this is.  We could watch a film I suggested hoping that instead of nightmare alien things we could watch something like Captain America.  It says on the front it is OUTSTANDING and I must say I want it to be true.  MAYBE goes Owner with one eye on the family history box.  I love it.  Ruggles is on the good door mat cuddled down for a rest and I am not to tackle him under the dining room door.  So far I have not.  Neither have I poked my head round the palace to see if Bertie is still there.  GOOD WONKA said Owner and I was proud.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Owner's Return Wednesdee

Wonka here!  And welcome back if you are paying us a little visit.  this is just to say I have not forgotten you and Owner is glad to be home, home from the hill.  Last night she was on a hill called Plymouth Hoe! watching a National Firework competition folks and guess what, no that is not it, Sir Francis Drake was reported to be playing his bowls on a nearby bowling green when good folks thought they sighted the Spanish Armada (Oh no it isn't!) a little bit of history for you going back to the first good Queen Bess.  Owner is worn out with having fun and I am worn out with checking up on everybody.  Ruggles is trying to move in and I'm saying NO.  I love him.  slightly.

Fresh return to normal para.  so just to keep you all going I am going to show you the good cartoon for today which sums up all good holidays and those waiting to hear back.
There it is! my very own postcard from the edge of Owner's fun filled reunion.  And I love it.
Final good night para because me and Owner have much news to catch up on and she is still cleaning round.  I AM SO GLAD TO BE HOME she keeps telling me in between unpacking, cleaning up, washing up, running baths, opening windows, putting a washing on, checking on Bertie, feeding ruggles and having some tea.  Me? thanks for asking but I am a very happy Wonka with no complaints tonight.  Not even about the new second hand over the top expensive donkey ornament that Owner HAD to buy.  I love her.  now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks especially if you have had a holiday.  Lots more news tomorrow but for now it is, Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 9 August 2014

Cornwall Ho! Satdee

Wonka here.  You will all be gasping up and saying NOW WHAT!!  Owner has taken herself off on her Fab Four Reunion in the heart of Cornwall, which is the south west you know.   And don't anyone say, she shouts up as she is leaving, that it is only Westward Ho! because it is only in fun I am calling HO! to Cornwall.  I know I shouts back.  I love it.

What will she do you all wonder up?  She has packed a wardrobe for all seasons, for staying in, for going out, for having fun and for travelling.  Don't forget I said, we want a postcard.  I WON'T she flung back before she whistled off to catch the first train.  Thank goodness, me and Bertie can enjoy a few days of peace and quiet with plenty of zzzzzzzzzzzzz.  Aunty one is due any moment and Aunty two next in line.  here it is, the good cartoon of the Fab Four:

big love Wonka xx

Friday, 8 August 2014

All change Fridee

Wonka here.  IT IS HERE!! the big new shiny bed settee arrived at approx. 5 05 pm just as Owner was thinking I wonder when it will arrive.  And in 2 mins was it plonked in the living room.  IT'S SO BIG gasps up Owner. me?  thanks for asking, well at first I did think those pesky Martians had landed and were going to set up in the front room.  Owner's Grandma and Grandad had a front room and only went in there on special occasions.  Like I asked up?  Like Christmas and Boxing Day goes Owner.  And in there she carries on, was a horsehair sofabed.  it was rock hard and went into a single bed she goes.  What else was in there I pestered up.  There was a wooden bookcase that may have been joined up by Owner's Dad (we must never forget he was a joiner's apprentice as a lad.  he endured 5 years of it and then left to join the RAF.  We love him) and in this bookcase were lots of  Owner's Grandma's fave love stories like the ones Barbara Cartland wrote, where Doctors and Nurseys all fall into strange love trysts over the bed of wounded patients.  Those were the days says Owner going off into a dream.  I soon woke her up though as I made friends with the new Settee!!!  I love it.

Fresh and changeable para:  so today has a good cartoon of the new arrival.  it smells new and will probably take a day or two before it takes on our scent.
There it is!!  Yes that is me, I scrambled all the way round the bottom using my claws to drag me round!  That is Owner shouting STOP IT!  Of course I stopped.  Today I settled up on one of the nice big cushions up top and even Bertie has been in to sniff it round.   The verdict is:  We love it!
New and changeable para.  today was going nicely, perhaps too nicely.  Suitcase packed TICK, other bag checked for being too heavy TICK.  Owner watched a film she has seen before and liked it better this time round GIANT TICK.  so what you all wonder could go wrong?  A letter that's what. from the authorities asking Owner about breaks and changes.  This prompted a phone call which did not dear folk out there on the edge of your seats go well.  I WAS ASKED FOR INFORMATION that I have already supplied in triplicate goes Owner, who went on to stress and anxiety level 10.  I could hear the Klaxon sounding from the safety of the Amazon box and let me tell you it is still not sounding the all clear!  When Owner calms back down (slightly) I will tell her 1.(list) tonight is good on the telly (double Corrie and no sport in sight) 2.  she is off on a fab four reunion in deepest Cornwall tomorrow and all can take a long walk off a short pier and 3.  I promise faithfully just to sit on the new giant nest and not use it as the scratching post of my dreams.  she loves it.
Final change change change para.  last night Owner goes, this episode of Enders seems to have been on forever Wonka.  I daren't tell her it was on for an hour folks!  There was mad Jean in it plus Stacycee in handcuffs, Mick was up at Court for speaking to strangers in cars when really it was Ian doing it and goodness me did Kat go funny in hospital.  yes more hospitals when Owner is hospitaled out.  But when Owner rang to see how aged parent was this morning it turns out she is eating for Ingerland.  Got a lot in common with Bertie then I says!  Now Rug has been for his teatime and he is getting rather choosy notes Owner turning his nose up at best Whiskas.  perhaps I ventured he has another feeding venue.  PERHAPS goes Owner.  Now there will be a little blog tomorrow and then a little blog holidee.  As it is the weekend, you must all tighten your seatbelts and as I usually say, do go steady good folks wherever you are in the Wold.  Big Love Wonka x