Sunday, 30 November 2014

Advent Sundee

Wonka here.  Just a small tale tonight (or should that be tail!!  soz Bertie Bubb - he has a short tail but rugglesis tail is the shortest as it is a stump.  soz rug). We are the day before December and Owner keeps mentioning Joe's Christmas story and using that for our advent.  do you mean I goes up to her, one of your best illustrations per day ALL DECEMBER??  Yes, she goes back.  YOU WILL SPOIL OUR READER I says up, because good folk/s I have had a glimpse of these illustrations and they are going to be in Wonka Presents!!!  Joe's Christmas story................  a special treat for you with love from me and Owner to you.xx

Advent ahoy cartoon and para:
 
There we are!! our little candle of hope and dreams for all of you out there in the Wold coming up to the good day itself.  And as our hero Charles Dickens said - let us all have a little bit of Christmas in our hearts all the year round - and if he didn't say that he said something very like it and we......LOVE IT!!
 
 
Final advent para.  I do hope like me and Owner you have had a peaceful day.  The only poor thing to happen was when the good delivery man from that supermarket that says it is helping, well he turns up with FIVE substitutes for what Owner had ordered six of.  IT CAN ALL GO BACK says Owner flouncing round the hall at least it sounded like that from under the bed where I had quickly gone.  how was I to know it was the ***** man and not those pesky Vikings???  After one of those phone calls where the person on the other end just keeps saying they are sorry and Owner says it is not good enough, calm was restored.  I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER she drones to me when I was trying to get some zzzzzzzzzzz, than order a home delivery to save me time.  I did say to her that I had warned on this very incident but she didn't hear me above checking on the Boolleys.  They are all scampering about now.  yes.  Now tonight it is Strictly results and it is hex Factor results and WHO yes WHO is out of the running.....we predict Sunetra from the dancing and our best Ben or Andrea who can both sing which means they are for it.  Then it is creepy time ahoy with 'remember me' which is to do with Scarborough!!!  do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it as the new week is upon us and it is doubly new because it is December too(I am a poet!!) Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Sleepy Satdee

Wonka here.  That is all Owner talks of these days.  How much sleep she had, when she got a DISTURBED night. when she is going to sleep and how she would like to go to sleep now.  anyone would think that Owner had sleep deprivation OR sleeplessness (long word and I will not be using again). it does affect your behaviour and I should know this because due to the new fostering situation whereby I have to share my home with no end of strays and kittwits and just plain anti social cats (Bertie Bubb) well my sleep has been affected.  And my resting up.  When I get in those dark corners, OR the second shelf up in the Narnia cupboard OR my beloved amazon box then I do get a tad of peace and quiet which to borrow  a word from Owner, is CONDUSIVE to sleep.  and I love it.

zzzzzzzzzz para.  Owner popped out to celebrate a birthday which was Grandsons.  Even then she reports nearly falling asleep whilst watching Frozen.  WAS IT GOOD I ventured up?  I WILL HAVE TO see it again she reported up.  As for the Jersey Boys Owner had this to say and I quote:  it was too slow to start off with and our attention spans wanted something quicker, louder, more colourful, with funny bits and (you guessed it) a Disney castle in the distance, a few power ballads.  In short, FROZEN.  LET IT GOOOOOO.  they loved it.x

sleepy hollow para.......  when Owner sleep walked back in to the usual round of feeding, cleaning, stroking, cuddling and telling off for this and that, I had a moment.  YOU! you all shout up!  yes little old me.  for some reason whilst I was searching in my toy bag for mousey, it grabbed hold of me and would not let go.  Even when I threw myself round and round and round the room it clung on to me until luckily Owner noticed the noise and carfuffle and said WHAT IS GOING ON!  she seized the bad toy bag and got it off me!!!
 
There it is!!   The bad toy bag and it is now with NO HANDLES!!  and there is giraffe peaking out!!  and next to it is dear mousey.  and at the bottom is just the top of last year's Christmas present.... I do wonder what I will be getting from Santa this year and NO I do not want a kitten.  (I love them x).
 
 
Final is it bedtime yet para.  Owner has talked of making decisions and such like and step one seemed to be the purchase of a LOTTO ticket.  We need money to finance it all she droned to me in the Narnia cupboard.  The said ticket is clinging to our lucky pisky and our lucky dangler donkey from the Tamar donkey sanctuary (Percy).  How can we not win??  And, Tinkers and the Boolleys are outside the box...........  soon be time for those boolleys to learn to feed and the other.  YES it is under discussion about WHAT to do.  for now, that is where it can stay good folks out there.  Tonight we are glued to Strictly and it's all around the wold dancing.  We have had bollywood style and amsterdam, style and Las Vegas style!!  Then it is on with some singing.........we are not sure who should win it except Owner does not want the girl to win who gets on her nerve.  (the last one).  Me??  I do love Andrea from Roma!  Now please do all of you go steady out there in the wold wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Friday, 28 November 2014

Make Haste Fridee

Wonka here.  If all the wold's a stage and we are just players to misquote the BARD says Owner who is now so tired she thinks she has come back round again. Yes then I am putting on one heck of a show she says about herself!!  YES she slept well and YES that is a blessing.  Why then, is she so laid back about the awful day she has just had?  Because Wonka, she explained to me, I am too tired to react.  My reaction time (she droned on in my ear) is now around 10 seconds before I can respond to any known stimuli.  OH I goes back as ever looking interested as I was starving.  I love it.

Make love not haste para.  The boolleys are all trying to clamber out of their box.  Me?  I went into the Narnia cupboard, stepped over Bertie and went into his little house aka the cat carrier.  There was the slight problem of how I was going to get out without risking a full scale attack by Bertie.  Owner solved it all by (list) 1.  Going WONKA and BERTIE 2.  turning the car carrier round so it was facing the open door. 3.  saying things like - WHY are you in there Wonka.  and STOP growling Bubb.  I ask you. x

Make lots more haste para.  there is once more, no time to be had.  We have looked hard for some spare time and not found any.  Owner fitted in a giant shop TICK and a visit to aged parent TICK but for closely questioning a member of staff about Aged parent's pocket money NOT TICK as the said member of staff took umbrage.  I TRIED TO REMAIN calm goes Owner and I'm sure that is what she thought she was portraying (good use of word).  To the rest of the Wold I dare say Owner looked a bit fierce.  Why, you all gasp up are we having to look at a cartoon of a bag.  Because Owner stopped using her old work bag (below) and started to use her old pink bag for work instead.  One of the chimps I mean students has drawn a little biro picture on it and sent Owner a little bit into annoyed setting.  it has come off with soap and Owner has resumed the benign setting once more.  I love it.
 
There it is!  the old work bag that has been put to one side folks for the old pink one.  this one above is made of plastic and cannot be harmed by biro.  Owner reports that when she confided to another pupil what had happened this was the result:  YOU SHOULD DO THEM MISS.  Of course Owner is not going to DO anybody and in any case she has no idea who the biro culprit is.  They didn't mean it really she goes to me all kind and benign.  I wish I could be like this towards Bertie Bubb, Ruggles and Tinkers.  Not to mention the Boolleys.  I do try.  I love it.
 
 
Final hasty para.  so with no time at all to spare Owner rushed back in and began her whirlwind of cleaning feeding and more cleaning.  Tomorrow is Grandson's birfdee and she is setting off to celebrate it all with Daughter.  There will be cake, sweets, more cake and some films.  Me?  left to hold the fort I dare say but who better??  tonight we must be glued to Corrie X 2 before Owner falls into her pit.  Will Steve wander off on his depressed journey?  will thingy go after him?  Is Carling Black eyebrows going to leave the factory and find lerve?  it is all to play for.  Now the weekend is upon us folks so do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 27 November 2014

Telling off Thursdee

Wonka here.  Has Owner lost it yet you all gasp up for sure.  NO NOT YET good folks, she is holding onto that zen stroke tolerant stroke benign setting like a broken teapot to superglue!!!!!  so far so tolerant BUT she has done a little bit of telling off.  YES and that included me.  Me?? MOI???  What can I say in my defence.  As per it wasn't me.  However, I admit I have sometimes chased Bertie Bubb and Tinkers.  NO I haven't chased Ruggles because he is bigger than me.  Owner says to me, (quote and list) 1.  Wonka I may well keep Tinkers and one of the Boolleys so you will have to GET OVER IT.  (how she will choose I do not know) 2.  Stop sitting right up to Bertie's cupboard and let him come out without you looming (looming?  once again Me??) nearby.  3.  the important one that always follows a telling off.  How much she loves me.  AHHH.  I love it. x

Fresh ticked off para.  This happened to most people today so Owner reckons it is written in the stars:

There she is!! wrestling with those pesky maths equations and such. Bertie just runs away and that suits me!! yes even the maths teacher demonstrated a little bit of telling off and that, goes Owner is the first time she has heard it.  We cannot all be calm and cool I goes to her, even though I do manage this very attitude all day long.  I love it.

Final fractious telling it all off para.  Today, the thing that happened to Owner on Sundee happened again.  OH NO she goes when she flung into the car with no name this morn.  her side window no longer goes up and down at the touch of a button.  it made a horrid grinding noise and stopped going anywhere and luckily those nice men and women at the Quickly Fix it all garage managed to push the window back up to the top.  so today it decided all on its own like machinery does, to slip down.  HELP ME goes Owner to the caretakers at the good school and blow me down did they shove that pesky glass up to the top.  Another disaster averted drones Owner revving up for the next one. Now she did get through the day in one shred and trotted in more the ticket.  That will be all that telling off I says to her when she couldn't hear me above the kettle going off like a rocket (coming up to boil).  last night she 'slept through' and this miracle arrived just in time if you ask me as she was on the last nerve.  We loved Corrie and Steve is still heading nicely for his complete nervous breakdown along with his new car.  Dev is still without a love interest and Michael's son is worming his way into the family.  Tonight we have more masterchef and skills tests with Uncle Gregg and Aunty thingy plus Mr Wareing eternally smiling now, and then DA DE DA DA DAAAAHHHHHH it is the Fall.  which is ultra creepy and just the programme for Owner to go to bed on.  It will put all out of her head!!!  Fridee tomro good folks SO do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Intensified Wednesdee

Wonka here.  What! you all wonder up could be so intense it is intensified and the answer to this equation is OWNER'S life AT THE MOMENT...here follows the terrible night when Owner was on the wrong side of the bedroom door with the bad lock.
 
 
Here we are!  there is Owner late at night, was it only last week she gasps up? when she got herself in a locked in situation.  Can you see the trusty fork that got her out of it??  There is Tinkers and the boolleys all happy as larks and not understanding the (quote) crisis nearby.  As I said I was listening in down below and silently praying and such like for Owner to get back out of the bedroom not just to feed me, Bertie bubb and Ruggles, but of course so she could get to bed and get that much needed sleep!  she reported up to me thus:  THIS IS JUST THE KIND OF LOCK IN TO AVOID.  According to Owner there is such a thing as a good lock in, and this is where the pub you have fallen into late into the night puts up the shutters and locks the door BUT with you still inside drinking away and getting sloshed. Of course there is no time for this to happen now, not in Owner's INTENSIFIED LIFE.  I would be begging them to let me out so I could get my beauty sleep droned Owner.  I love it. x
 
Intense para.   When Owner heard Tinkers scraping at the door this morn she leapt up thinking it was nearly getting up time.  it was only when she was downstairs doing all our breakfasts that she saw the time.  it was just gone 4 30 am.  OH NO she whispered up.  Back to bed she trudges and manages a few minutes sleep before the good alarm goes off BBBBBRRRRNNNGGGG.  needless to say she had a hard day to match her tired out setting.  No one in particular stands out she says up to me and I did my best to show interest it being near to my tea time - but she droned on, my head is bursting with information.  about bridges (maths) equations (maths) Elizabeth 1st (themed something) and for some good news at last A Christmas Carol!  With the ghost of Christmas Past.  Well as you know we have plenty of them!  To round her day off, Owner has left her glasses in the last classroom.  BUT as per, I gave her the upside to this.  IF, I ventured up, you had bought those three in one glasses that help you see out of the top and the bottom and the sides, it would be a disaster to leave them at the school BUT because you didn't like them and have ended up with three pairs of glasses...........  it means good folks out there who never forget anything, that Owner always has a pair of glasses somewhere.  I love it.
 
Final intense para.  Ruggles has been in a scrap and got funny fur sticking up on the top of his head and on his cheek.  YOU ARE ALL SCRAPPING goes Owner and to be fair she is right.  Possibly we are overcrowded and just being territorial.  I do like my space.  I WILL TRY HARDER I goes to Owner but I was crossing my paws at the time.  now last night we stayed up til 9 pm with good masterchef and tonight looks like a repeat of this but with Corrie thrown in the mix.  Dev is love torn or is it love lorn and Michael the reformed robber has a handsome son turned up.  They are busy bonding over chips.  Elsewhere good Steve continues on his depressed journey and no one is listening to him!  We love you Steve, depressed or not.  Now today has been relentless and did Owner really have to whip to the new and third on the list supermarket at lunch time?  YEs is the answer to that as her anxiety ridden state means being on the move.  that and buying all those essentials for me and the others. Tomorrow is a new day, it could be a wonderful day and here's to that for us and our loyal reader.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x
 


Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Tinkerboolleys Tuesdee

Wonka here.  It wasn't me and that's all I'm saying about the incident of me and Tinkers in the night.  It woke Owner up but thanks to the new exhausted zen like or is it a zombie like attitude, she just got up, sorted it out, fed and cleaned us up and went back to bed. HUGE TICK. x


 
 
There we are!!   From the left there is the Cadpig, then Beau, then marmalade and at the end is Monkey! Owner says when she looks at the boolleys (their new nickname) it is alright.  Whatever is wrong is made right.  And I must stop being so protective of my luxury tray.  Just because Tinkers steps down in the night to partake of the facilities even though SHE HAS HER OWN I must not take umbrage (ooer a new word it means get upset or take offence.  Me??)  NO I must turn the other paw or cheek or bushy tail.  I will try Owner I goes in the deep of the night to be as merciful and loving as you.  Personally I think she was sleep walking but I didn't like to say as I was starving for my breakfast and in any case, I says to her there is always a PLUS to these episodes.  Because she was up she was able to muck around and get the heating started!  I love it.
 
Small tinkers para.  Owner says she only mentioned the kitwits and Tinkers a couple of times at her place of work but I do not believe it.  Mind you if it helps her cover or supervise (I nearly said run for cover! only joking Owner!) or support some poor soul I say talk about them all you like...... How did your day go I said nicely when she fell back in the front door.  Basically, it went alright she mumbled as she fed us, changed us, cleaned us and cuddled us.  We even had some real chick (sorry Chicken) and the girl at the counter said to Owner IS THAT FOR YOU Or THE CATS??  and of course it is for us.  Bertie Bubb stayed up in the other Narnia wardrobe all day and had to be brought down by Owner in case he wasted away.  Owner thinks the boolleys are ready for some real food too.  AS LONG AS IT ISN'T MINE I fairly shouted up the minute Owner crawled outside to check the luxury shed, so she may not have heard me.
 
Final Tinkerboolley para.  Thanks to that exhaustion Owner trundled off to bed at 9pm last night and may repeat that tonight.  After masterchef the professionals as this alone may restore her faith in humanity if she had lost it.  THEY ARE SO COMMITTED she droned, and CARE about their cooking.  of course we are now in love with Mr Wareing who must be on the same course of treatment as Owner as he seems very mild and tolerant now.  There have been several beauty sunsets and stars at night folks which we have noticed when we were up in the middle of it.  Well I did.  Tomorrow is another day and I reckon Owner can make it to the end of the week.  The other stars are all on about Mercury is up to something and it is a good thing and it happens tomorrow.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x
 


Monday, 24 November 2014

A Typical Mundee!

Wonka here.  
 
 
There it is!!  Owner thought that dang phone would never stop ringing.  it was her nice consultant wanting her to work this aft!  I AM NOT AVAILABLE she comes out with and then changes it to I WILL TRY AND MOVE AN APPT....I am on the floor banging my head on it folks!!!NO I am saying up!  you must not give up your best hair appt to be taunted and teased by a year 7 or 8 class!! BUT the hairdressing god was shining down and our lovely and new mobile hairdresser did not reply straight away thereby saving Owner from a wretched aft.  Then the phone goes again BBBBRNNNGGGG!!  Owner does not answer this one.  Then it goes again and she does answer it and it is just as well as it is the good heating engineers person to book Owner's appt with a real live engineer!!  it is in the diary good folks out there all enjoying perfect homes and heating.  We love it.
 
 
Mundee Mundee para.   What about Tinkers and the baby boolleys you all wonder up?  Got Owner up in the night scraping at the door.  Me?  I was being extra good in the Narnia cupboard surprisingly vacated by Bertie who it turns out went all by himself up those stairs and then onto Owner's bed.  Ruggles stopped in the kitchen until owner tramps down in the night muttering and such like which is understandable in the deep of the night and of course when the good heating is not turning itself on.  All did quieten down until BBBBRRRNNGG and that was the alarm going off.  GOODNESS she goes, and the whole groundhog day set off again.  There is a new photoshoot of the boolleys for you all to look at tmro.  We love them.  especially little Monkey because he or she was rolling round on his or her back and being naughty.x
 
Final typical day Mundee para.  Graham P, our good and mobile hairdresser arrived on time and Owner looks even more gorgeous.  That and the new pink crystal earrings she HAD to buy whilst out on an essential shop.  They are twinkly and pretty and I am letting her off so TICK.  That and the advent calendars as they are essential to Christmas TICK.  And here is a surprise development.  The lucky donkey that dangles off her new pink bag hooked onto a bag of Christmas santas and Father Christmases and Owner did not notice until she was miles away from the shop.  I gave a person begging in the street some money she goes. so I have paid somebody the money.  OH I says.  I do like Owner's logic sometimes.  in fact, I love it. 
 
Last night para and real final one.  we did watch the results and TICK the right people have left the dancing and the 'singing'.  and then we watched the creepy new ghosty story on Beeb one and blow me down if it doesn't feature Scarborough in it!!  That and the tune of Scarborough Fair which we love.  it also featured a residential home as if Owner doesn't have enough of those in her life, with proper residents and Carers! Tonight we will partake (ooer) of Corrie X 2 and never mind the Enders where they are busy growing new members like our tomato plant in the Summer.  In good Corrie, Anna and Owen ( Owner has finally coughed up their names) and thingy foster daughter have moved into Petah's old flat.  Norris nearly collected his parcel from the depot and Steve has been left by his partner (thingy).  Carling black eyebrows is swilling back the rouge vino and will put her up for the night whatever her name is.  All in all Owner reports being fairly on track for today and I have not mentioned publishers or submissions or kittens leaving home and I am not going to.  now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x
 



Sunday, 23 November 2014

Jersey Boys Sundee

Wonka here.  oooohhhh......

 Jersey Boys (2014) Poster
 
Yes we have a new DVD and it is indeed those pesky Jersey Boys.  Will we ever watch it though??  It is next up after FROZEN.  What!!! you all gasp up as one.  I mean of course our ONE reader!!  yes it is true.  Owner keeps referring to it saying things like (quote) OH I have got that film but I haven't watched it yet.  And, I MUST WATCH Frozen.  I am afeared (like that word even if I can't spell it) that the same thing will happen with those jersey lads stroke boys.  Yes it is directed by Clint Eastwood who we adore from afar.  yes we love the music SHERRY BABy.....so why do we keep on having to watch silly old fashioned films on Channel 5??  yesterdee there were 5 films in a row on that good channel all about Christmas.  And all of them second rate.  I ask you.  And Yes I do not love it. x
 
Big Girls don't cry para!  Today has gone by in a whirl of visitings more visitings and a foot soak.  Hang on!  alright that last thing, for Owner's worn tootsies is not a whirly thing it is a relaxez vous thing.  THAT's Better she cries when they are all polished and clean.  ~According to the Zen experts out there, the foot soak is vital.  IT WILL REVITALISE YOU AND HELP YOU RE ALIGN your Chakras she droned to me - and then to round off the Zen the waste water must go down the luxury or non luxury loo.  BLIMEY I goes, wide awake with all the revitalising talk.  Of course moments later and due to the tropical like conditions I am experiencing from my amazon box near to a searing hot rad I was zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  I loved it.
 
Final SHERREEEE Sherry Baby para.  Daughter and Grandson have been and witnessed the kits.  They have had their first fan base adoration!  Then they all sat round the table and ate. And ate.  and drank and talked and ate some more.  Next weekend Owner is to troll over to them as it is Grandson's birthdee bash.  She has spoken of taking a DVD.  YES there are a few unseen ones to pick from.  Last night we all shook down early doors.  I AM HAVING an early night Owner announces to no one there.  Well I was listening up, and possibly Bertie heard but then he may be deaf.  And he was deep in the Narnia cupboard.  I have alternated (good use of word) between there and my box.  Ruggles would not have heard from his post in the kitchen and tinkerboolley only hears sheba cartons being opened.  We did watch our Strictly and Owner has observed thus:  the standard of dancing is very high this year.  It is too close to call, she droned.  My money is on Frankie and Kev.  Nice Kev from Grimsby that is.  We gave up on the Hex factor as the one who will probably win it gets on Owner's remaining nerve.  tonight it is the results although the Hex Factor has already rid itself of one act.  No it was not her.  It was only the young.  Louis Walsh put the Jonah on it according to Owner by talking them up overmuch.  They are sure to go out now she says to me wisely.  There is a new series though on good Beeb one which says it is a ghosty story.  Just the thing to go to bed on!  the good week is peeking at us from over these offerings so let us all WALK LIKE A MAN! and have a decent one.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x
 
 

Saturday, 22 November 2014

A day in the life Satdee

Wonka here:
 
OOOH you all say in wonderupment!  YES that is all of us at the mo.  Owner is often to be found in a trance going from one room to another but there she is!!  in with Tallulah Diva and those naughty eyes open kits.  I HAVE MADE THEM MORE COMFY she goes to me at some point this morn.  she only moved them all back into their first nest, the box, and then has wedged this in the corner where Mummy Tinkers carried them all and where they have been nicely camped out.  WHY I questioned up. have you moved them like that.  It is to do with (list) 1.  they are now frolicking and gambolling about a bit and Owner is afeared they will get into mischief so the BOX is like a pen, to keep them in.  2.  Their eyes are open and so they can see where to head for - like Mummy when she pops out for a breather.  3.  Owner thinks it is more comfy for them.  they are all cheeping like chicks in that corner.   so that is KITWIT update for now.  onto the next room across from Tinker's en suite is Owner's sanctuary.  At the mo (like this expression.  sorry. pardon) there is no one else hiding under the bed or in the cupboard and we mean of a cat like nature not a pesky Viking.  If there is a pesky Viking lurking about I would know.  Down below the good living room is also a CAT FREE ZONE and then we move into the dining room my main residence and Bertie bubb and there he is heading into the Narnia cupboard with me checking on him.  In the kitchen?  is Ruggles new domain.  He loves it.  We love it and I have not scrapped with anyone so far today.x
 
 
Final day in the life para.  Owner suggested doing a new feature called A DAY IN THE LIFE for our reader and said what about Ruggles to start off with.  I said it would all be over in a couple of sentences.  Came in, ate some food, jumped up on his special pilly and pad on the linen box, asked to go out, came back, ate something and repeat the first verse.  JUST A THOUGHT she went back to me. Today Owner has managed a double shop in both supermarkets that she doesn't like.  AND with that horrid assistant who she cannot abide.  Then it was a trip to aged parent who was in a lovely mood, had forgotten all about the kitwits and when Owner bought her new and best pink bag but scored highly by NOT telling Owner how tired, old, over worked she was. Tonight we are glued to Strictly and our faves are doing a Samba!  then quickly over to the Hex Factor and we only need to turn over when that singer comes on who Owner cannot abide.....Is there anyone you all wonder up who Owner CAN ABIDE!!  They know who they are folks.  Tomorrow we are expecting visitors and it is my best Aunty that is Owner's daughter and grandson.  The fridge is jam packed with enough bits and bobs to feed the street and the Tiger loaf is massive.  I am praying it does not topple out of its prison, the cupboard just above where Ruggles is.  it could easily fell him.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 21 November 2014

Is it Fridee Fridee

Wonka here.   Owner reports dreaming of not one, not two but THREE dogs.  Is this fortuitous (what a word for a Fridee!) you all gasp up??  It could be, specially as the third dog, a large and friendly dog settled itself down to live with her!  NO it is not real.  There is no more room at this Inn!!!   But it was a good dream as they all loved Owner.  YES I am still being fairly good and YES I am still in the Narnia cupboard second shelf nestled up to some paperwork.  Bertie Bubb wandered upstairs last night and snugged by Owner's pilly and as for Tinkerboolley - her new nickname is Tallulah Diva!!  And as for those little Kitwits, Owner says little marmalade has its peepers opened.  Ruggles is still oblivious (blimey) and snug a la Kitchen.  I say it is DE RIEN and I love it.

Fresh is it Fridee yet para.  today, Owner struggled.  She struggled with the noise, she struggled with the (wait for it) 'disaffected pupil' - there is some training dedicated to bringing such pupils back into the wold of being interested and learning things - but Owner reckons it is the staff who need this training more.  And to round her intense day and week off, did she have an unruly bunch of said pupils for the very last lesson of the week.  Which was? I droned, as per trying to show interest in order to have more food or just any food.  It was literacy she goes back, but it may as well have been the secular insular existential non partisan socio political policies of the githfjgth tribe in gkysjwh.  OH I says back.  Did you win out Owner?? (quote) I gave out some sweets at the end of it and kept a couple of extra unruly pupils back.  Who said sorry.  Personally I would have said sorry it the bell had gone BBBBRRRRNNNGG and I wanted to get off home.  I would have said sorry sorry sorry.  I love it.

Fridee Fridee cartoon para:
 
 
Here we are!!  That is the old primary school where Owner was in the Spring and Summer, and some of the pupils at the School Owner is at now, remembered her!!!  A bit of a change from this school to the High School......  I thought I was still there today moans Owner...but that is little people and medium people and people on the cusp of being big people for you!  We love it.
 
 
Final Fridee Fridee para:   When Owner crawled back in this aft we had a recap.  WHERE ARE WE UP TO she goes.  error in salary sorted out TICK  poor heating reported to mysterious engineer who cannot get back to us quickly but left message TICK renewed car insurance TICK carried out daughter's instructions TICK.  So really Owner is ON TASK to use that new and annoying phrase.... And finally (this is the deal breaker) not only is Owner's hair still alright, but she is having it tidied up on Mundee!! How come you all shout up, can she have her hair done on a work day.  BECAUSE the God of Training has reached down and ordered a training day at the school Owner is bursting through, so she is NOT THERE on Mundee.  This alone has saved her.  Now tonight, if she can stay awake, it is Corrie X 2.  Dev has two women at his feet, and we do like him specially when his voice goes up high, then there is Carling Black eyebrows in the factory telling all what to do.  Will she meet Mr Right inbetween times?? it is all to play for.  We watched a miniscule bit of Enders last night and as usual a new member of the Queen vic family popped out of a van.  At least we didn't see Staycee.  Now the weekend is here wherever and whatever you are doing.  THAT is the same.  So do go steady out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

 
 


Thursday, 20 November 2014

Money Money Thursdee

Wonka here.  Will they ever get it right?  WHO you all wonder up?  Those people who call themselves PAYROLL.  I really do have to thank all the stars above and the god of being tired out, that Owner is too worn to GO OFF ON ONE.  ~They have only paid me for four days Wonka, she mumbled, instead of FIVE!  Two emails have burnt down the wire.  That folks is all I am prepared to say on it.  she is calm for now.  Later, when she comes back to life around bedtime that will be, I am ready for an explosion of things like I MAY AS WELL VOLUNTEER, or YOU WOULD NOT DO THIS JOB FOR THE MUNNY.  I have spelt it wrong because I feel like it and it may cheer Owner up.  I love it.

Fresh and poverty stricken para.  How did Owner go on at school after yesterdee's incident you all are desperate to know.  all one of you that is.  It is fine now, she reports, and everyone is friends.  well almost.  Most of the day passed without any fuss and she has remembered a little bit about plants and the light.   Me?  thanks for asking, I have been extremely good and not fought with anyone, or hissed overmuch.  Me and Bertie are shaking down in the Narnia cupboard as I have been back in it.  Tinkers is doing OK by all accounts in her en suite and Ruggles is even now cuddled up atop the linen box on his special heated pad.  We have been spoilt by Owner who finally recalled she had bought us some real chicken (sorry chicken!) and got round to chopping it up for us.  ~We all gobbled it back barring Tinkers who prefers pretend cat food.  I love it and I'll have hers.

Short and sweet and FREE photoshoot:
Here we are!!!  why you all say those of you who are focussing that is - why a cup of rosy lea (TEA) and an Eccles Cakey??  WHY NOT we say straight back!!  When times get rough and the salary is slight and IN ERROR the thing to do is keep calm (always I do recommend this even from deep in the wardrobe) have a cup of tea and the cake of your choice.  This cakey was gifted from daughter to Owner and is one her faves it being crammed with currants.  And sugar.  Never look a free cakey in   the mouth.  eat it instead!  I love it.

Final money is the root of all evil para.  Now it is official that Owner is working for half a peanut and a chocolate lime, we can live our lives accordingly.  Being in the grip of poverty must be good for our souls and we will shoot straight to heaven when the time comes.  I WOULD LIKE, says Owner, TO EARN A BIT MORE, and this only dear folks so she can lavish it on us!  and daughter!  and grandson!   Last night we caught up with Corrie and Masterchef but not The Apprentice.  This got the heave ho in favour of an early night.  Owner does know that Mark her fave in it, is not FIRED....tonight we will watch more of the cheffing and then KLAXON GOING OFF!!  it is that dark tale called The Fall and Owner will need all the lights on and even more checking than usual.  Things we need to know but don't.  this is how aged sibling fared at the old Dentist.  did he get there?  Did the Dentist get there?  Did he have a filling. or not.  all these questions are waiting for answers folks.  I may make it a new and exciting section of my diary - THINGS WE MUST KNOW.  for now it is a mystery.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Lock in Wednesdee

Wonka here.  It is the continuing story of the poor handle on the front bedroom door.  Which is now Tinker's en suite.  it is even more en suite because Owner who hasn't got enough to do and has to use her lunch break to fit in more shopping - whipped to PETS ARE US and purchased several more items.  One such was another luxury litter tray.  Is it for you Wonka all shout out as one.  NOT A BIT OF IT!  When Owner returned at least I thought I could just make her out behind a huge plastic thing and several bags staggering across the motorway that is our street - and when she fell in through the front door (which opens and shuts) with it all, she measures it up against my one and says this: (quote) YOU NEED THE BIGGEST ONE Wonka..... which is the old one, which means Tinkers the usurper (I am feeling mean) gets the new one.  And a new catnip mousey, and a fish thing.  Alright I have a fish thing too but I am put out.  I am still in recovery from yesterday's FRACAS (Owner says this is a good use of word for our spat and I like it) and need lots and lots of attention.  We all do.  And I love it.

Early lock in lock out cartoon para.   OOOOHHH what is that then you all gasp up!  we need a new home is Owner's latest refrain and it will look something like this.....  a big kitchen, a nice bathroom, a good back garden and a FRONT (with space for the car with no name) and three bedrooms, AND she goes A STUDY.  AND a conservatory for Ruggles.  YES we have put in a request to the wishing well.  it is working overtime on all Owner's dreams and wishes and hopes and......I love it!! x

Lock in para.  What is this lock in then you all wonder up?  How Owner did not have her bkfhdnvteenth breakdown I do not know.  someone up there is helping her out I dare say, because just before lights out last night does she say to anyone who is listening and luckily I heard her....I AM JUST GOING TO PUT THE LAMP OUT in Tinker's en suite.  In she pops, bearing in mind the door is now secured by a wadge of paper (the Guardian to be precise, Owner tried The Times because her paper had been sold out and said it was like reading a comic.  yes) - and somehow she shut the door and the little metal thing that was not working before but maybe being hit by a hammer did the trick, well it shut itself.  SO WHAT our one reader shrieks out, well the point is, it just stuck there and no amount of turning the handle shifted it,  So Owner was in danger of being LOCKED IN.  I could hear mutterings and such like, even from the safety of the Narnia Cupboard and I did think good folks out there if all else failed I could pop a wish into the wishing well seeing as I am close to it now.  Next thing she bursts out of the door holding a fork.  This fork has saved Owner.  it is the best cat fork in the entire wold and must always stay in the room in case it happens again.  I USED IT TO PRISE OPEN THE DOOR she says when she got out.  You couldn't make it up and I'm not going to.  along with not mentioning the car insurance, that horrid paperwork and evidence to support that Owner is not an imposter being Owner but really Owner, and finally the submission that may be rejected any day now.  Luckily and I thank the God of submissions for this, it was not today. I love it.

Final locked in para.  I've had a horrid day goes Owner to round it all off.  OH YES I says, it being dead on tea time.  Will it be alright I ventured up?  I HAVE SEEN THE HEAD about it she reports.  Oh well I thought, it is all over bar the shouting then......  our best news of the day is that Owner's hair continues to look alright.  This more than anything is saving her right now from going onto funny setting.  Today she has learnt about the Tudors, cones and triangular pyramids, and her best fave of all time A Christmas Carol.  it's not all doom and gloom I says up but she didn't hear me above cleaning out my old and best luxury tray.  Tonight we must watch Corrie and the further demise of Steve and his partner who we cannot just now recall her name.  Dev is betwixt two women and Tim is now back in Sally's good books.  then there is Masterchef the professionals.  We are still in love with the new personality transplant of Mr Marcus Wareing and then folks it will be lights out and go steady on the door locks!!  Bertie Bubb slept upstairs all night long and Ruggles stopped out.  Me?  thanks for asking, I sleep where I like when I like!  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Disharmony Tuesdee

Wonka here.  I am reporting from the Narnia cupboard so I hope you can hear me?  Why you all shout up are you in there??..you will recall a morning way back in time when I woke Owner up from a deep slumber by having a spat with Bertie Bubb...well this morning it was Tinkers.  We chased round the bedroom down the stairs in the living room and back upstairs again.  WONKA!  she shouts and TINKERS!  What happened next was the bad door to the front bedroom stopped shutting itself.  It had been going wrong and Owner ignored it.  I WILL JUST NOT SHUT THE DOOR she goes.  So there she is at 5 30 am going at the broken lock with a hammer and a screwdriver.  No they are not cocktails!!   she finally wrenched the buckled metal plate from the lock that refused to lock.  The amazing thing is though dear folks out there all living in perfect homes with doors that open and close properly, yes the amazing thing is, she didn't cry (tick), go hysterical (tick) tell me off (BIG TICK)and carried on nicely with her morning duties.  I love her.

A little disharmonious cartoon:  this is a cartoon of me naturally, that Owner started but said it was not good enough for the fully illustrated Wonka's Christmas Story.  This is the one she has sent off to be looked at.  NO I haven't said hardly a word about it specially not today.  Owner fairly flew back in the good front door worrying about all of us saying things like her head was full of chemistry experiments and then dread fractions.  did you mean Fractious I ventured from deep within the Narnia cupboard but she didn't hear me above rushing upstairs to find me.  WONKA! she says not for the first time today, when she spies me on the shelf and the rest is history.
 
There I am!! why you all wonder up are there three cats in this cartoon??  it is a roughish sketch and the one on the right could be the phantom cat from the story plus drones Owner, they could be ghost cats -after all it is a Christmas Caterol with a small paw waved at our hero Charles Dickens.  We love him.

All at odds para.  So the day sort of carried on like this.  Owner finally got dressed after a lot of clothes refused to go on the right way.   Those leggings well it is hard to tell if they are back to front but I notice these things.  Then a phone call broke the spell.  BBBRRRRNNNGGGG.  it was the good consultant to tell Owner she is at the school for another two weeks.  This means no jarring phone calls and I can look forward to plenty of supplies.  What about you and Tinkers you all wonder up?  That is the question.  And because I have taken over the shelf in the Narnia cupboard, Bertie Bubb has gone upstairs to his other Narnia wardrobe.  Ruggles is oblivious (good use of word) to all of our spats and is living it up in the kitchen whilst Tinkerbooley is en suite.  And the paper stuffed in the door helps it stay shut.  Owner?  apart from a nasty scratch on her right hand which was a mistake on my part but I thought she was a Viking marauder come to take me away and my nerves were all shot to pieces thanks to Tinkers...I know it says do not bite the hand that feeds you but there is no mention of scratching it.  I am blaming the Father of the Kitwits for all of this.  I FORGIVE YOU WONKA says Owner feeding me my fave dreamie biscuits and fretting about me too.  She has pasted her hand with this green ointment that promises to heal in minutes.  here's hoping!!  I love it.

Final all put out para.  last night Owner trundled to bed early doors but did manage a dose of Corrie.  NO we didn't put Enders on and we are glad, as Staycee has taken over and so has the Queen Vic family which is ever increasing.  Like a big maths problem.  Tonight though we have good masterchef to restore harmony and light with our new interest Marcus the Wareing.  And apart from receiving another email whittering (love this word) on about evidence for this and producing the other, Owner is remarkably calm.  I have not mentioned renewing the car with no name's insurance and I'm not going to.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Monday, 17 November 2014

Mild Mundee

Wonka here.  Do you mean the weather is mild or Owner you all shout up as one!!  BOTH I goes back at you.  If Owner has adjusted the thermostat once she has been tinkering with it a thousand times.  And peered at the timer.  and said out loud THE HEATING IS UP THE SWANEE.  What is a 'swanee' you all wonder up?  it is from a song that goes up the swanee river and it is one those sayings you either know it or you don't.  it means, the heating is done for.  Not though if you ask me it isn't.  I say it is confused due to Owner adjusting it here and dabbling with it there and turning that tap on.  The pressure is too high she droned later on after yet another inspection.  Then it is fling open all the windows until we are shivering up and she remembers the kitwits, and back to red hot setting we go.  But yes, Owner has been fairly calm and zen like today.  I put it down to sheer exhaustion but she will not stop.  No.  I love it.

Fresh and mild as you like para.  Owner did not get a phone call until just after 8 am and it was to toddle along to the same school for the afternoon.  COVERING.  did she worry?   did she moan?  not a bit of it, and this is where that mild and calm attitude pays off.  Because when the computer system at the good school and holding all the secrets to the lessons cannot be operated by her, does she panic?  does she go funny and shout??  NO.  I simple went to the nice teacher in the class next door and asked him and he fixed it in a jiffy.  Did they all knuckle down I questioned up when she crawled back in?  They were a bit noisy but they did do a little work she goes back.  Well I say that is all we can ask for.  Owner remembered the way home and fed us immediately.  We did Scatter graphs she tells me as she is dishing out my tea,  Between you and me I prefer algebra and if X = 3 what does 2 - 8 + 10x equal?  I love questions like that.  Then she drones on some more about an isosceles trapezium and how it is different from a normal trapezium..  That is when I felt myself nodding off zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH sorry Owner! I love it.

Mild and alright cartoon para.  For today's photoshoot we have a rather lovely cartoon of Tinkerbooley and the kitwits.
 
There they are!  Owner reports they are all settling in well in their new dark corner with Mummy Tinkers patrolling.  she is popping downstairs to use the facilities and flying back up again to her bedsit.  so there is from the left, little Beau, little Cadpig, little marmalade and finally Monkey.  I love them from afar.
 
 
Final mild and tolerant para.  for some reason Owner decided to pay a visit to the supermarket she does not like (the main one she doesn't like, not the runner up) and buy some non essential items.  One of them is alright, one isn't and the other is for aged parent.  I happen to like that colour and fit on Owner so I am letting her off.  That, plus it being right on tea time.  Now last night our beloved and fave couple got through to the next round of dancing and this is good news.  Judy Murray who could not dance her way out of a ballroom but had to do just that (!) and looked so pretty in her pink Mary Poppins dress, was finally voted off with good Anton.  And over on the hex factor we watched the new band aid single with Sir Bob Geldof introducing.  Of course Owner saw it all the first time round and I did whisper how many million years ago was that but she didn't hear me above going to check on the kitwits for the mnhfnghteenth time.  Tonight we must be Corrie bound and will non reading and writing Tim be found out by Sally who is sure he is having an affair when all he is doing good folks is improving his mind.  Steve is still avoiding thingy and  Todd is avoiding going out.  We mustn't watch Enders if we can help it as Staycee is in it.  Now do go steady out there in theWold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Homely Sundee

Wonka here.  ~Guess who woke Owner up?  NO that is not it.  It was tinkerboolley.  she is fed round the clock as it is, so yes, I was a tiny bit put out.  who is top cat round here???  You don't need to answer that folks out there all ready to shout out YOU ARE Wonka!  then it was the usual frenzy of feeding changing feeding sweeping up random bits of minute white litter.  Who invented it so that a mere brush of the paw scatters it far and wide??  And  if Tinkers was dangling about in the dining room once and playing with my best catnip mousey she was there a millions times over.  Bertie doesn't understand toys so that is alright.  I saw him look at the fish catnip toy once.  anyways, I said to Owner very loudly, I said WHY NOT GET TINKERS HER OWN CATNIP TOY??  then I heard her say, Wonka!  shall I get Tinkers a mousey like yours.  I rest my paws and everything.  I love it.

Fresh and homely para.  We do love it now that Owner is slaving away all week to keep us in toys and food, when she is home and can see to us all even more.  We are on slight tenterhooks this good morn though.  HOW SO you all wonder up?  We are even now waiting for the poor delivery man from the other supermarket that Owner does not like.  it is a home delivery to help Owner not put her back out lugging home the concrete I mean cat litter, and all those pouch boxes.  it means, she will be able to shop for her own food really.  BUT, where is the delivery??  I PAID OVER THE ODDS she drones up, for this slot!! When it did arrive he, the delivery man announces straight off THERE ARE no black sax.  OH goes Owner, (quote) I needed them.  not thank you very much Mr Delivery Man I can manage... I  did whisper up Owner that it wasn't the end of the Wold but for some reason she decided this was A LAST STRAW.  Luckily, the email she was hammering out to the supermarket online service that must live somewhere in the sky, the internet at our end lost the connection.  and the email.  More shouting until she looks round and there I am sitting patient and calm as you like.  I do like to be a role model for Owner especially when she is on stressed out setting.  SORRY Wonka she says, and after that there was no more talk about black sax being anything but a silly old slip up.  and after she had slaved away putting all the cat food and luxury litter away, we were right as rain!  I love it.

Homely cartoon para.  Now a while ago I did mention that I had inspected the Narnia cupboard as a possible hide out for myself.  There is a spare shelf in there, as yet clear of all those mysterious items that we must have and hold onto for years on end, but which stay in their allotted place and on their shelf in the Narnia cupboard. 
 
There we all are!  that is Bertie squashed down on the floor at the left hand side and then there is a trolley with things on it and under it and above it there are shelves of books and Lordy there is the blue monster parked to the right hand side near to best mousey.  Me?  thanks for asking, I am perched on the spare shelf on the right hand side and there is Owner going Wonka!  And if you look very closely you can see our Wishing Well high up and bulging with all those wishes and dreams.  and so far folks, it is busy answering them all.  I love it.
 
 
Final homely para.  Why, I ventured up, are we watching Titanic for the nghbnteenth time Owner??  I love this film, since I first saw it one Christmas when I lived in Berkeley Street, she droned.  I lay on the settee with all the cats and Diva (dog, now in the next room that is heaven with St Francis) and cried at the end.  This afternoon when she fell back in from (list) 1,  swimming 2. shopping 3 more shopping, she goes I AM WORN OUT and going to rest up on the settee with the Sundee paper.  Well that must be a new word I goes, for closing your eyes and nodding off then!  Several times I says, OWNER! OWNER! because it was near to tea time and I was starving never mind Bertie Bubb, Ruggles and tinkerbooley upstairs but she never moved once.  Finally when I had given up and was about to employ (like this use of word) new and scratchy tactics she came to.  I love it.
 
 
Real final homely para.  Announcement!!  Tinkers has moved all the kitwits one by one starting with Monkey and ending with The Cadpig to a dark corner in the bedroom that funnily enough Baba used to favour.  This has meant endless checking by Owner to keep counting them and say yes they are all moved.  They are one week and three days old I droned to show interest.  Now last night we loved Strictly and especially Simon and Kristina who did an argentine tango to go mad for.  They are top of the board reports Owner who suddenly switched over from the Hex Factor as someone called Fleur (which means Flower in France but we still don't like her.  Sorry France.  She is from England though) was singing this jazzy number that got right on her nerves.  Will our fave Ben Haenow haenow go through??  and then if we can stand it there is an ant and dec thingy in the jungle.  I say leave it behind us this year Owner, and use the time more constructively like feeding us and changing bedding and such like.   Now another week is upon us whether we want it or not.  perhaps Owner will trot off back to the same school and perhaps a different one.  it is all to play for.  I haven't said anything to Owner about her submission to the publisher and I'm not going to.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 15 November 2014

Argumentative Satdee

Wonka here.  I may be the only one left who Owner hasn't had a spat with.  NO ONE she droned IS THINKING ABOUT ME.  Personally I don't see what the problem is, OR to use that new and annoying word ISSUE.  I love Owner all day long and just because I lash out occasionally with a claw or forget myself completely (like today actually) and go to bite her, well this doesn't mean what it looks like.  Take Bertie bubb.  Just because he stays in his Narnia lair all day and all night doesn't mean he isn't eternally grateful for being rescued from the wilds of the back yard.  And we all know that when Ruggles gave Owner that black eye, it was just out of fear.  Tinkers though is showing lots of love and showed it by clinging onto Owner's leg this morning mistaking it for a ladder.  I love it.

Fresh and argumentative para.   I'VE FINALLY DONE IT.  She shouts up.  Done what I ventured carefully, so as to avoid a to and fro.  She has only gone and submitted an extract of Wonka's fully illustrated Christmas Story to a hitherto (pardon? what?) unknown publishing company.  it's got pictures and everything.  and the writing.  THEY DON'T WORK SATDEE OR SUNDEE she noted after it whizzed off down the line or those wavelength things.  OH I says back full of admiration for her courage.  Of course I have jollied her along every last step saying things like:  if you don't try you won't know....AND Rome wasn't built in a day...not sure about that last one, as it seem obvious to me that a nice big city like Rome wasn't popped up with its gladiators and emperors and coliseums and that in 24 little hours......but you get where I was heading.  What we don't need is Owner being rejected too many times.  A few we can cope with.  And here is our cartoon to match it up:
 
There she is doing it!!  And all I need to do is keep encouraging and saying more things like:  if at first...........(or second or third) you don't succeed.  and it really is true folks that getting noticed is because you MAKE YOURSELF NOTICED.. Lordy goes Owner and throws another coin in the wishing well.  yes, that's another thing that wasn't built in a day.  That fountain in Rome.  We love it. x
 
 
Fresh and red rags para.  So when Owner finally flung off to the shops and her double whammy visits I did think will she be alright.  When Owner is on tired setting she can rustle up an argument out of thin air.  I SAW ONE OF THE TEACHERS she tells me, when she traipsed back in.  OH YES I says full of interest (nearly tea time).  he said hello, she continued, by the salad aisle in that supermarket I don't like.  Lovely!  I went back.  Then she got to aged sibling and had a bit of a spat there and then onto aged parent and narrowly avoided a spat there.  Possible what saved it was a lot of tact on aged parent's side except for repeating how awful it was, at Owner's age to still be trudging out to work.  At least I said cheerfully, she didn't tell you you looked tired!  I see this as a giant positive.  Aged sibling has booked himself in at the old dentist who has by a miracle agreed to have him back (Owner went into a sulk and de registered both of them.  I ask you).  We wait to see who will accompany him there.  If it is Owner I feel sorry for the dentist in advance.  I love him.  but that's because he doesn't do my teeth. x
 
Final war and peace para.  all is now calm and peaceful mainly as there is no one handy for Owner to fall out with.  She has filled out her forms, put in her expenses, submitted and administrated and shopped and now it is relaxez vous time in this house.  There is Strictly in Blackpool with our faves Kristina and Simon doing a little tango, then onto the Hex Factor and our Ben (Haenow Haenow) and good Andrea from Rome.  all of this should cast a spell over Owner turning her from grumpy to happy.  Me?  I did not say a word when Owner tells me she forgot my bestest cat food and I have permission to eat what Bertie and Tinkers are chucking back which is best Sheba.  Thing is, like you good folks out there, as soon as I can have what I want, I don't want it anymore.  But don't tell Owner!  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x
 

Friday, 14 November 2014

Children in Need Fridee!

Wonka here:
 
Here is the Pudsey Bear!!  famous for fronting the money raising Children in Need day.  and all the money raised from this day goes to children's charities - and it helps children everywhere not just in the good UK folks.  Owner has had the Pudsey Bear above since her aged parent Mum went into hospital for the first big operation.  Owner purchased the little bear from the hospital shop and presented to her Mum to cheer her up.  'I don't like that' goes aged parent the minute she set eyes on it. OH goes Owner - so now Pudsey lives on the passenger seat of whatever car Owner is driving at top speed, and of course it is the car with no name.  Before that it was the Skylark and before that it was the Chariot.  it turns out that Pudsey Bear is named after the place where the creator of the idea lived and where her grandparents lived.  Owner has found some facts out due to being in a learning environment and as she says, she picks up new knowledge whether she likes it or not (like electromagnetic waves.  yes.)  Children in need started off in 1980, is fronted by Sir Terry Wogan who we love and has raised millions.  We love it.
 
Fresh and needy para.  today Owner whisked off to the same school and got through another day supporting here and helping there.  and that is just the staff!!  my little joke folks.  As you know I do like Owner to be gainfully occupied and earning some money.  it cuts down on all that non essential buying as luckily there are no proper shops near to where Owner is all day long, and the supermarket that she whips to in her lunch break DOES NOT SELL CLOTHES.  I may write to them to express my gratitude.  and she is too worn out at the end of the day to do anything else but come home to all of us.  How are we you all shout up with interest??  Bertie bubb came out of hiding briefly to eat and go to the other, Ruggles was lurking near to the back door and fairly flew in when Owner opened it to trek to the luxury shed.  I greeted Owner as per, by gazing lovingly at her through the double glazed bay window.  Tinkerboolley is eating best sheba and the kitwits are all rolling around each other and cuddling up.  They look gorgeous beyond gorgeous reports Owner.  especially little beau.  The cadpig is fine too and we cannot believe it is now a week ago that they were all born in the lowly shed.  We love them.
 
Final needs must para.  this week folks has been a full on week with no messing and Owner is more than ready for her two days off.  it all starts here, with a nice crunchie bar and a glass of the red vino whilst glued to a bit of Beeb one (children in need fest) and a bit of Corrie.  it has light and shade in it drones Owner.  It has love interest, bullying, murders, hairdressing, and people eating and drinking.  Who could ask for anything more.  We forgot last night it was the return of a very frightening drama called The Fall.   You know how I have these worries about those pesky Vikings out there and what to do well Owner seemed to watch it with no fear at all.  IT IS JUST MADE UP Wonka she goes to me, so I says, WHY then, are you putting all these lights on and checking the doors are locked???  But she didn't hear me above checking in the second Narnia cupboard upstairs.  it is no use checking under the bed because that is my job, and the only thing under the bed is an inch of dust and me sometimes.  now the weekend is here so do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x
 


Thursday, 13 November 2014

Speedy Thursdee

Wonka here.  What now you all gasp up, has Owner been up to?  she has discovered one of her fave things to discover and that is how to convert time into useful time....She has gone mad on this kind of equation and will keep babbling on about balance and pay backs and getting out and getting in til I think I will go funny.  I FOUND OUT she droned, when she thought she had my attention...HOW TO GET TO THE SUPERMARKET in the lunch break..I am praying even now to the god of land speed records that she will not receive a ticket.  Even the nice teacher she sees in the staff room and who talks to her was amazed and had to repeat what she had done (what, gone to blibble blobbles in your lunch break!!!)  anyone would think she had gone to York and back!!  I whipped there Wonka, whipped round and whipped back.  I did whisper on about speed bumps and speed limits but only from deep in the dark corner where she may not have heard me. I OFFERED HIM A LIFT IF He WANTS TO GO, she continued on.  I wish him luck if he is on a shopping spree with Owner who will be at the checkout whilst he is still wondering which aisle the milk is in.  I love it.

speed of light para.  Today's little cartoon is to do with expenses.  you recall this is one of Owner's bugbears along with any other kind of form or ...(wait for it) red tape.  She has now been goodly and sat down nicely and completed that form from yesterdee.  She checked first with two agencies whether she had to fill it out or not and it was fill it out.   BLAST IT she shouts up, BUT she has now done it and all is calm.  Calmish.
 
There she is!  battling away with the figure work with me offering encouragement from a safe distance.  There are receipts to find and scan and really it is NOT a fave task.  I WOULDN'T MIND she moans up to me IF IT WAS WORTH MY TIME ON IT ALL.  The thing is, if Owner were draped around at home all day doing what she liked and watching a film here, writing a book there, coming up with a good cartoon somewhere else...well we all know SHE WOULD BE BORED!!  she loves it.
 
 
Final speedy Gonzales para.  no one said Owner still alive except me and perhaps a handfull of others will remember who that is Wonka.  I dare not say who is it then to Owner not when she is full flood and I want my tea time plus supper so I just nodded my head and rolled over.  Now Tinkerbooley is fine in her bedsit and all the kitwits are blooming.  Little Cadpig and Beau and Monkey and Marmalade.  Monkey lives up to his or her name as each time this kitwit cannot find his milk supply his little legs do battle with the nearest kitwit!  it is very funny to watch says Owner smiling.  I dare say I will inspect it all for myself soonish.  Bertie bubb is ensconced (like it) in his new cave stroke cat carrier and as for ruggles - life of riley.  Me? thanks for asking, I am bearing up you know and nearly moved into the Narnia cupboard myself!!  there is a nice cartoon coming up of this too.  Now last night did we manage Corrie times one and Cilla fell down the stairs and Chesney fell out with her.  He is angry at his Mum for childhood things.  Good Peetah is saying he must leave the street as all hate him and he might turn to the comfort of the bottle.  Who, we all wonder up, can replace our philandering, alcoholic, to blame for everything, Peetah.....   in Masterchef we are in love with Sean and so is Marcus.  Much to Owner's surprise she has taken to Marcus Wareing who previously she did not like.  he is smiling now.  That could be it.  Then we managed the Apprentice, just about, and our fave talk a lot lad about town Mark is clinging onto the competition somehow.  Beeanchor was terribly annoying and she is still in it too.   Tonight we must watch more masterchef and call it a night.  Fridee tmro and all are ready for this to happen.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Check it out Wednesdee

Wonka here.  all was going so well.....and it always happens when Owner is tired out and cannot take in simple information.  WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH she starts up when she opens up a letter and tries to read it without her glasses on.  GODFATHERS she goes next. All it is folks is one of those silly old forms that you have to keep filling in until you tip over into a grave OR those flames and disappear into the sky.  sorry anyone that is happening to, and we all know it is just so we can rise again in the next room where, I am told there are no annoying forms to fill out.  What did Owner then do you all wish to know??  This always means trouble.  it means emails to agencies saying things like I AM NOT... and PLEASE ADVISE.  After she has been fed and watered it will all seem different and doable.  I love it.

Nice cartoon of Tinkers for you to check out para:

There she is!! snatching a quick drink of cat milk.  She is the only one out of all of us who likes it.  And we love her..... there will be more on her and the famous four soon.

Check it out now funk soul brother para.  Is she alright yet you ask up??  I am pleased to report a slight improvement and the positive side to all of this (HUGE TICK) is that she has moved from high anxiety setting about kittens and mummys to stressed out due to bureaucracy setting!  (that was a very  hard word to spell and I refuse to use it again.. Owner says in future call it 'red tape'0.  Now it will be short story from me tonight thanks to all the new checking I MUST DO.  A quick peek at Bertie here, a little hiss at Ruggles there alright I did a giant hiss last night and made Owner sit up and take notice!!  NO WONKA she shouts up.  Now Tinkerboolly has developed a snuffling noise that has wracked up Owner's worriment.  she always goes straight to the worst case scenario when Me?  I say, sit it out, see what happens, and throw a parcel of money at the Wishing Well.  I love it.

Final checked to check para:  here's a thing good folks out there all worrying about how Owner is shaking down with the new students.  all continues well and for some strange reason they like her!!  tonight we must watch corrie times one and see how good Peetah will make amends with the street.   And we do love Cilla, that is Chesney and Fizzes Mum she is the tops.  Then there is Materchef and if Owner is still awake, the apprentice!!! Relax Owner I keep saying, after she has fed us, changed the luxury trays, checked on the luxury shed for any new occupants and seen to Mummy Tinkers.  I mean.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love wonka x 


Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Armistice Day Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Owner says that at eleven o clock, as she stood with the class at her fave school, did the bell ring to bring everyone to a minutes silence.  WE ALL REMEBERED she reports up.  Marvellous I says back, hoping that me, Bertie and Tinkers not to mention Ruggles remembered to do the same.  Sorry everyone if we were zzzzzz, or eating (Bertie). feeding the famous four (tinkerbooley) or scouting about over the racetrack aka our street (ruggles).   Do I have black rings round my eyes goes Owner to me when she flew in the good front door later on in the day.... Now we all know the answer to that is NO not a bit of it Owner, you look beauty, gorgeous, not a day over etc, but to tell the truth good folks, all this zipping about and worrywarting and keeping us all in food and drink, well she does need that resting up.  So tonight I have insisted that she relaxes with a little glass of vino (Merlot is her fave) and watches Masterchef.  There is nothing I droned, DE RIEN more relaxing that watching other people get frazzled and hot. (and told off by good Marcus!!)  I love it.

Armistice para and good photoshoot:  here follows a letter Owner received from the good British legion. Percy and George and Michael who all fought and died in the World War 1, are now remembered with a cross bearing all their names.  We love them.....
 
 
There we are!!  The flanders field poppy is now planted in Ypres which we know all the good soldiers called 'wipers'.  God bless you all, the fallen. x
 
 
Armistice final para:  first off, when Owner was up and gradually getting used to the new day did the phone go BBBRRRRNNNG but it was the mobile and not her beloved consultant.  DO YOU WANT A DAY AT  ***** IN *****. OH says Owner, I would rather not.....and listen up good folks all shaking your heads and saying she must not turn down a day's cruel work in a really demanding school....did the proper phone ring and it was the nice consultant with a nice days work in the School that Owner does love.  LESSON for today to echo the words of Curtis Mayfield folks, is to 'take nothing less than the second best!' and make if First best if poss.  so when she flew back in like a spinning top ready for more action I says (just checking) HAVE YOU UPSET anyone Owner by accident?? (I whispered the last bit but you all recall her terrible blocking experience at the hands of a Very Important Person (VIP).  NO she reports back (TICK) plus, she continued on, and I quote, I worked with this lad and eventually won him round.  What, I said up nicely, tipped the balance Owner?  Rowntrees Fruit Pastels she says!!  I love them.  So tonight after another round of checking up on the kitwits - and there is a beauty cartoon in the pipeline - we will be soldered to the settee!!  We loved Corrie last night and Peetah cannot win Carling black eyebrows back.  yet.  he is not one to give up though.  A bit like my bestest Owner.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big love Wonka x 

Monday, 10 November 2014

Greek Mundee

Wonka here.  As you know we are all of us very busy bees at the minute, checking on this, being anxious about that, trying on new shoes here, and how's your father.  All has sped up in Owner's life and she will keep saying THERE IS NO TIME TO WASTE Wonka!  Tell me about it! If she is not busy when she is awake she is busy dreaming when asleep.  NOW WHAT I goes up first thing this dark and chilly old morn....  She reports telling these three women where to get off (OH NO I thought) and she was going to work on a Mundee and people were yawning.  and another bit there is some flour.  WHAT KIND I ventured up, wanting to seem interested when really good folks I could have done with a few more zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  THE KIND YOU COOK WITH she goes to me.  Food always means the basics of life and flour is pretty basic, I mean you make bread with it.  I says, perhaps it means you are being given the ingredients you need in your life.  I love it.

Fresh and greekish para.  Yes Owner had another BRNNGG BRRRRRng from her good consultant to go to the same school for the day and this time, she was prepared up.  No flinging clothes around saying how ugly she looks in this and how fat in that.  YOU LOOK BEAUTY I droned on to spur her into action and not fall behind.  And it turns out the very first lesson was all about PYTHAGORAS theorem which she had to spell on the whiteboard and got it wrong.  This chappie we think is Greek and sorry Greece if he isn't but his theorem was all about angles.  Well it would be because all these Greeks did all day long in their spare time was draw triangles in the sand and say I WONDER HOW TO WORK OUT THE LONGEST SIDE?? to their greek friends.  And luckily Pythagoras worked it out.  It is square square add square root.  Did they get it I said to show Owner I was still awake.  YES she says to me, unpacking millions of cat food and a couple of things for her to eat.  I love it.

Fresh para not about Greeks or theorems.  Today's good cartoon is to show you what Owner saw the other day, Satdee, when she saw Sammy Dog.
 
There we are!!  This is Owner's desk where she does a lot of writing (in that spare time!) and to the left is a card of Marilyn Munro, in front is a tiny Eiffel tower (that Daughter brought back from France when she was ten or thereabouts) and centre is a card of a peasant boy laying in the sunnyshine and on the right is ....a mouse on a mouse mat.  Overlooking it all as you can now see, is the porcelain figure of a dog, and sometimes it is Sam.  We love it.
 

Final all greek to me para.  Tinkers is fine and the kitwits, that is Cadpig, Beau, Monkey and Marmalade are all cheeping away in their snuggerooni box.  Ruggles has taken up residence in the pocket hanky kitchen and Bertie Bubb in his new lair, the cat carrier.  Me?  thanks for asking, I am alright in my basket, under the bed, in the dark corner, crushed up to a red hot radiator OR in my amazon box.  Owner enjoyed a little bit of telly last night and said this is terrible when a good singer got voted off the hex factor.  WOE.  That is the public for you I says, they are as fickle as you like.  BUT our faves, Simon and Kristina will be doing the tango in Blackpool next Satdee.  Anton and Judee Murray will be doing something too but we are not sure if it is dancing....  Tonight we will cuddle up to Corrie x 2 and the good release of Peetah back into the wild of the street.  Will Carling black eyebrows be alright?  Will his lad Simon??  it is all to watch for.  the last of Downhill Abbey was duly watched and it has happened again!!  An innocent as the day is long person is arrested for murdah!!!!  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x


Sunday, 9 November 2014

Fallen Sundee

Wonka here.  Here follows our tribute to all those wherever they were and all being so brave for their countries.  With respect to all men and all creatures, we will remember them.  X
 
Owner has put Percy Perry front left and to his side on the right, George Smith, both Great Uncles.  They were both so young, too young to die and too young to have to be so brave.  Owner also wants to mention a Michael Masterson from the Royal Dublin fusiliers.  but we especially want to remember that in the end, and as Edith Cavell famously said - 'I realise that patriotism is not enough.  I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone'.  she was a British Nurse who saved lives without distinction and who was shot by a firing squad on October 12, 1915.  If we can half live up to that message, says Owner, we are achieving a compassionate and humane World.  I love it. xx
 
 
Fallen but never forgotten para.  Owner observed the two minute silence and wondered how the Queen was bearing up not to mention Prince Phillip.  she is older than Mum, goes Owner with admiration.  And Prince Phillip is in his nineties.  We cannot imagine the remembrance service without them and if anything sums our country up it is the Royal Family.  Like them or not like them, they have given us continuity and stability drones Owner.  I was half listening I admit, as there is a lot to listen to and check on in this home.  Owner says my behaviour has been and I quote: exemplary.  After I had looked it up in the dictionary, I agreed with her, I have been outstandingly good if I say it myself.  I have only put my head in the Narnia cupboard a couple of times and goodness me, but Owner has moved things around and he is now able to hide in the big cat carrier.  Which is rather handy I said to Owner, if you want to whisk him off to the vets again for no reason! alright I didn't say it I whispered it from my dark corner in the living room.  I have said good morning and such like to Tinkers who bobs down to do her ablutions then bobs back upstairs to her luxury apartment.  Ruggles is basking in the 100 degree heat of the pocket hanky kitchen and me?  still in my amazon box and loving it.  Loving it!
 
Final last post for this day.  Owner has been very good today and when she went out to inspect the luxury shed she walked past Baba's buddleia and Little Mouse's resting place.  she noted that there are some white Chrysanthemums (daisy flowery things) out nearby and the forsythia too, which is yellow.  Life goes on, things die down and spring up again she droned when she came back in. Now due to this emotional day yesterdee I have let her off with several non essential items.  She rushed off out to the shops saying it was for more supplies but fell back in with two shoe boxes.  I HAD TO BUY BOTH she tells me and luckily for her the good assistant gave her a 20% discount on them - on each of them.  I LIKE THAT BIT I says up, but what is this in the other bag.  three yes three items of clothing, two of which Owner must have had a small memory loss when she bought them thinking she was a good twenty years older than she is.  BUT, we liked the leggings and she can keep them.  All in all a better day.  Tinkers is fine, the famous four are snug as you like and Owner's anxiety setting is re adjusting daily.  What will this new week bring?  Let us hope for the best good folks.  Tonight we are glued to the results and hope for Simon to get to Blackpool as we love him and Kristina in the strictly dancing and on the hex factor?  It is Haenow Haenow (Ben) for our munny.   So do go steady good folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it and big love for the week ahead.  Love and peace on this special centenary day, one hundred years on.  We will remember them. x