1. I have had a breakdown? NO (that is Owner's domain and I do my furry best to tell her it will all PAN OUT.XX)
2. Been on my hollydays? NO - I am far too busy supervising ruggles and dat KitKat. PLUS there is the usurper outside who Owner insists on calling Little Princess. I BEG TO DIFFER. X
3. Too lazy to bother putting us right about the world? NEVER!!! JAMAIS!!!
So here we are folks - having got round Easter and can I just say that when this set of days approaches I worry about Owner even more than usual as she always has her own few days of reckoning.AND this year was no different. it is alright though, as there are NO FRIENDS left to fall out with (tick) just the family. OH and the pesky neighbours they are always troublesome and especially when they insist that Owner falls in with their long standing rituals. and that means the bins and the birds.
There we are !! The old rose tree and the pigeons for you!!
it turns out that at least one of the neighbours is against Owner feeding them and went to the lengths of writing to the council - well when Owner read the letter folks which found its way here JUST before Good Friday............I did think of rushing upstairs to my secret hidey BUT stayed fairly close by in case. Owner read the letter a couple of times and I caught the words 'alleged sighting of a rat'....... DO THEY MEAN A RAT IN HUMAN FORM WONKA? she moaned to me doing that laugh that quite frankly verges on wild sobbing folks, Now we all know there are too many cats prowling around the passages and walls for any creature to wander about in search of bird seed.................... I also stayed close whilst Owner rang up the poor sender of the letter, who honestly folks was on shaky ground albeit scattered with some bird seed.
HOW DID ALL THIS SHAKE DOWN WONKA you want to know all on the edge of your bird tables. Folks, the nice young lady from the council popped round THE DAY AFTER EASTER MUNDEE to see all the rats and birdseed and guess what!! THERE WAS NOTHING, De Rien, to see!!! OH she goes when she got outside to the little outback and saw one empty birdfeeder and no rats or bird seed. Owner did show her one fat ball wedged into a feeder and deep inside the Buddleia tree, OH she said. And so Folks there is a lesson here - and I'm not sure if it is Love thy Neighbour as yourself but if it is, they do take some loving.X
YES there have been other deaths and resurrections within the small dysfunctional group of people Owner refers to as family!! All in keeping like I say, with the message of Easter. HAS SHE COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE WONKA? folks, if I say she rolled that big stone away you know what I am miaowing.XX In the world Championship Snooker which as you know me and Owner cling to like superglue Ronnie our hero, had an Easter all to himself and did not get past a rosy cheeked lad called Mayhill or Mahill or something very like that. Owner shook her head when she turned the set on and saw Ronnie had shaved all his hair off. HE's DONE THAT BEFORE WONKA she droned to me and folks even though I was busy padding into the luxury rug I looked up and thought OH NO ALAS POOR RONNIEO. Has that spoiled our enjoyment? of course it has. We do not have another hero.
There we are!! Looking back through Owner's cartoons here he is bombing out in the second round a few years' ago. Do we love him whichever round he goes onto or out of??? YES WE DO!! XX
Aside from clinging to the snooker Owner has been rescued by Line of Duty and all the twists and turns of corrupt coppers. It is violent and aggressive with all sorts of back stabbings and that's just the staff. We love it.X AND the new Trust Me has a paralysed well partly then as he can drag himself round the floor of the ward ex soldier who know yes HE knows THERE IS A KILLER ON THE WARD!! so all of that folks has saved Owner from mood setting minus about five.XX
Now in the wicked world of pollytics they have all had their own Easters to contend with either on a long walk in the mountains or down on the allotment there are local elections on the cards AND elections for MEPS TOO!! the latter ones mean a lot of skullduggery and false and fakery as candidates use that one to make a big fight of billy brexit. We all know that billy brexit is dead in the water and there are more important things to tackle and folks Climate Change is the newbie here. There is a young lass called #GretaThunberg and she is on it!! the newbie movement is called Extinction Rebellion and we love it. Owner says it will gather strength and ALSO she is very glad she is vegan now. I know.X As for Vinnie in all of this, he is stepping down and worse news of all is that Donwald the Trump and his melancholia are flying yes flying over here in June. jezzer and Vinnie will not attend the state banquet but you can guess Tresa Grey will - if she doesn't fall down a mountain in welsh wales.XX
In brighter news, Owner's hair went right a couple of times and she has been paid a few compliments about her fitness - folks the gym is a life saver. Ruggles continues to eat sleep and use the facilities A LOT, the newbie Pip Squeak and me well we are best pals and yesterday I says to her, come on, Owner has the monster out ready to clean up let's adjourn up to up the giant nest and we did! When Owner crawled upstairs for something there we were snuggled down for ingerland!!XX
Now as we pull away from Easter and for some of you a new term begins, keep those whiskers preened and that fur sleeked down!! PURR instead of GRRRR and have the week of your dreamies!! Big Love Wonka XXXX
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