Monday, 29 February 2016

Extra Days!

Everyone alright just Owner and a few others, have mentioned that it is a LEAP year AND there is an extra day in the good month of Feb.  SO WHAT Wonka, you all shout up full of annoyance as it is a Mundee.

SO....Owner says she could propose to someone.  But Owner I quickly said back, you don't want to marry anyone....(except them whats already married.  and this folks is one of Owner's best tissues I mean issues is falling in love for DE RIEN.  Shakespeare called it unrequited love.  End of and huge fact up.X)

What else could we do with this big and bold EXTRA day??  here's something Owner does NOT want to do with it. (list) 1.  Werk .....Tick, there was no big rush of offers for Owner to earn a few measly bob. 2. Go out and do anything....NOT Tick.  there is plenty for Owner to be doing.  Bertie Bubb needs more expensive fodder. 3.  Have a horrid meeting all about aged parent's dwindling funds....and this folks is causing havoc.  There is to be a meeting and Owner is on extra horrid meeting setting over it.  IS THIS USING UP THE EXTRA DAY Wonka you all now whisper up....MAIS OUI, DA and SI. or JA.x

And just to make it worser this silly old diary has gone and published itself before I SAID IT COULD!!!! Hold on folks while I muck about with it. x

In other less horrid news, it is sunny and bright and I am doing my utmost to cheer Owner on.  NO she didn't get that job or at least they have not fallen over themselves to ring up and say to her she has. NO we haven't any £s and are poverty stricken BUT we are healthy (except for Bertie who is massively fat.x) and lastly, there is a double corrie on tonight and we love it. AND Owner's hair is still going alright.  This alone should save the day folks.  I have warned Owner to power dress and smile in the face of oncoming disaster as it is proven to work.........X

Do go on to have a wonderful furry and purry extra day yourselves folks and I will rally the troops and do my bit too.Extra Big love Wonka X

Sunday, 28 February 2016

Giving Up!

NOW WHAT Wonka?!! you all say quietly it being Sundee eve and all.  It is all Owner's fault for saying loudly to me I GIVE UP Wonka.  I mean, as far as I'm concerned she has it cushy.  Looking after us three, that's DE RIEN ... a little preparation and planning for our biscuit consumption (OOH!!!) making sure the facilities are changed regularly.....plently of cuddles and brushing and combing and....oh and then there's the odd time when she gets werk..UN PEU  or MALEN'KIY (that means 'a little' folks in Rusky Russian!!x) the weekly round up with aged sibling and parent....what on earth is she giving up for!!!  and as for the shopping, Owner has taken nicely to Spa at the end of our street.  it is small (TICK) she likes every single shop assistant (unheard of and giant TICK) and if they would only restock Thomas cat concrete I mean litter, we would award it shop of the year.  End of and Fact up.X

Just to remind you all what a fab three we are specially me, here is the three of us:

There we are, ME, the Bubster and Rug.X ps I said to Owner, Owner that looks like Us Twee......she says I know Wonka it is how I write my t and h and r. AH, I says back.X
Now this is short and sweet tonight folks as we MUST be ready for Call the midwifey.  it is always hankie time when we watch it and that is good for Owner to have a good weep in front of another topsy turvy week (for her folks. I will enjoy my usual steady in the ZEN time of it. X)  Who knowsfolks our fortunes could take a giant leap UP what with our latest story being considered by our bestest publishers Austin Macauley and my Christmas Story available to the whole entire World at good (Wonka's Christmas Story X) why is Owner on about giving up?? I have put it down to the usual sundee setting which hovers between It will be alright Wonka, to IT CANNOT BE ALRIGHT Wonka......big fact up. the end.X
Have you noticed the snowdrops folks and the crocuseseses?? It does mean, despite all of Owner's mood settings that Spring is coming.  It is.  Now best fur on tomorrow as it is the start of what could be the best week of the year SO FAR.  Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 27 February 2016

Today was shut!

What are you meaning Wonka? you all shout up in between watching that muddy old game of rugby that neither me nor Owner understands - they are very very very big nay giants of men in off white and green.  If you are Irish WE love you and if your are ENGLISH we love you too.  May the best side win!!

This is what happened today folks: first off Owner reports a strange dream and had to do a cartoon of it.  second off, she finally flings off on her rounds, part of which is to secure more expensive dietary food for the Bubster.  BUT by the time she screeched to a halt by the good vets doorway IT WAS SHUT. Third off, does she speed off into town, to get to aged parent's bank for some help. IT WAS SHUT.  Everything that Owner meant to do, was FERME (that is closed in Frenchy france.x) OR ZAKRYTO (closed in Russky Russian or a bit like it.x)

Eventually Owner trundles back home (we were open) and starts again. Aons of years later she has tried to download things and rung people up for help.  Then she flings out for her second helping of annoying and rubbish things to happen. X
There we are!!! Owner reports her dream thus:  I was on these big ladders or steps, and someone else was behind me I think, and then I felt wobbly and sort of slid over to the next door's fence and seemed to glide down into the soft mud of the garden.  BUT, I was alright Wonka after thinking I was in for a fall. The upshot is folks, Owner reckons it was a dream of REASSURANCE (I know.  it was smack on my breakfast time, so I did listen up plus hang on every word.X) and following this dream of 'landing on her feet' we are to stop worrying about everything being shut. End of and fact up. X
In other less complicated news, we are slightly looking forward to the Voice and if only my little Paloma can keep out of it and let the singers sing, we will be fine.  And Owner can stop shouting at the tv.  Then we can slide gracefully into the land of Casualtee and Charley Nursey before Owner starts on her worry jive mins before bedtime.  I have recently checked on the Bubster and he is worry free, as is Ruggles.  Me?  thanks for asking and I refuse to spend time on things that have not happened.  End of.x
Now do enjoy your good eve folks, which as far as I know is OPEN for business!! At ease! and Big Love Wonka X

Friday, 26 February 2016


Sneeze sneeze snuffle snuffle snort. and Owner's bouts of sneezing are on a par with her dearly beloved Dad now in wood carving heaven and who used to go on volleys of sneezing. ATCHOO!!! says Owner.  At least I think she said that, but her face was buried in a scrap of soggy toilet roll paper and I couldn't quite make it out.
And folks, because she is tired, and cold-ridden, she has gone on a giant worry wart.

What about Wonka?  you all snuffle and snort up??

The dread accounts folks.  Anything to do with our  poverty stricken state has Owner on the run.  OR aged parent.  It turns out aged parent must go cap in hand (she would if she wasn't trapped to a wheel chair folks) for more £s so she can enjoy her remaining years in the same place.  Surely Owner, I says up, they cannot tip her out??  THEY can refuse to cough up the £s she droned to me full of woe.  YOU DON'T KNOW THAT I says to encourage her AND to make her stop looking at it through her very ill and tired setting.  End of and fact up.X

To cheer us up ever so slightly this good Fridee eve there is this:
There we are!! This is aged parent's teddy and it sits in a big chair next to her bed, with two other little teds on its lap.  It is big and cuddly and we love it and so does she.  We love teddies.  End of.X
Tomorrow is the time to be looking at £s I says, and tonight you must cuddle up to Corrie and all those villains..when will nice Nick find out that Carling brown eyebrows has cheated on him and when will evil Feelan stamp on Kev the Mechanic.  It is questions like these we should be concentrating on and NOT the pounds we have not got!!!  Owner has brightened up a tad though, as who knows, our latest story may strike gold!  And for good measure I will fling a coin into the wishing well especially for aged parent!X
Now all you folk out there revving up for the weekend have a cosy and snuggly Fridee eve and AVOID all talk of munny.  it is the biggest conversation stopper known to where did I put the 20p to pop in the well.......X  Sweet dreams, and lot of teddy bear hugs!  Big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 25 February 2016


HOW COME Wonka, droned Owner to me much later on, when she flung back home after a good day's werk - how come it is so cold and yet there is no frost? I mean how the bottom of our stairs would I know folks!!! I am toasty warm, either deep in my ZEN box OR tucked up on my giant nest upstairs that doubles as a nest for Owner.  I could not be warmer if I tried, crushed up to a searing hot rad!!

She did think she saw a bit of snow and I put this down to listening overmuch to the radio which was trilling on about WINTRY SHOWERS. Is she well wrapped up you all shout at me full of sympathy as you cannot cope with Owner being cold.  The secret to her being warm folks, is layers. Upon layers. If in doubt take an extra layer and even when she looks like the Michelin man I say De Rien! Nimic!!!!!
There we are!!  That is me and one of our Easter stories..(The Duffle Stories are all on and it will soon be Easter and Spring folks!  We love Easter just like we love that other big festival, and Owner droned to me that it was A TURNING POINT IN THE YEAR.......I particularly like it as it mentions chicks, those little yellow fluffy BIRDS and as you know I do favour a bird.  End of and big fact up.X
Last night Owner spent time with the printer.  Sometimes folks, the printer is out friend and sometimes it is not.  It is called BROTHER and that is the last thing it is folks, especially when Owner has an urgent printing job BUT, the god of printing was on side and page after page of the new Story bolted out of its mouth.  Then Owner had to re read it not once but twice to make sure it was as good as she thought it was.  I AM HAPPY WITH THIS she goes to me, and this good morn, off it went!! paws crossed folks that the good publishers like it and take it on! - now tonight, there is not one but two episodes of Enders.  I know.  Martin has said cherio to a life with Staycee and the babe and there are so many villains we have lost count.  BUT, this should bring Owner down to earth and give her something else to be annoyed about.x
Bertie is still big and fat, and Ruggles is keeping an eye out back from his new vantage point next to the radio. And the mirror. In the meantime folks it is Fridee once more and the end of a Big Week.  Take it steady, get preened up and go to it!  Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

All Good Things!

If I could put a small bet on that everytime Owner says 5 MORE MINS Wonka after the poor mobile alarm has done its best................ that our bestest ever consultant in the known nearby town will ring up BBBBBBRRRRRRNNNGGGGGG!!!
but it is alright, it happens to be an extra slot at her fave werk place with young people WHO HAVE MANNERS Wonka!!

all good things DO come to those who wait and that is going to be my fave saying all week long. End of and HUGE fact up. Plus, all those nice young people clamoured (good word) yes Clamoured for more info about MY BOOKS...... I knew I would be famous eventually. they did like my illustrations droned Owner to me, and I did pause in what I was doing (face in my trough) to listen up....I mean it was me folks, who kindly let Owner pop a few of her little cartoons in my stories.............X
There we are!!! the other good news is that Owner sent along a tiny sample of our new story to our bestest publishers in the known world alright London then. (Austin Macauley folks).  They have asked to see the rest!!! So Owner is busy checking out the entire story to send them.....Wonka Presents! - An Egyptian Tale - Owner is very excited and seeing as it is me that does tell the tale (like our Christmas Story) I'm a bit proud too. X
In other less exciting news I have agreed with Owner that good news flies in, in threes.  folks, we wish you as much good fortune as has come our way......there is the wishing well and I do rely on it fullstop and end of.X
If only Owner would stop for a minute but she is driven folks driven.  We have managed an episode of Corrie with evil Tracee and I have allowed Owner a tiny listen to THE BRITS.  It is getting on my nerve she has anounced and we will try the baking instead over on one.  Now do go on to have the night and day of your dreams may take a little time it may take longer but rest assured and trust your best furry fur and whiskers, it will happen to you! Big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Get up and Go Go

What is all this go go business you whisper up to me folks, it only being Tuesdee and STILL February, the darkest dampest dreariest month of all.
this Feb, droned Owner to me, first thing or near enough to it, IS BETTER than last Feb.  HOW SO? I says politely and all it being bang on my breakfast time....................

I AM Getting through ALL of it! She tells me. 
Interview?  TICK - according to Owner she got through that looking good and sounding good AND answering a lot of open questions.  We all know folks, that an open question can cause no end of trubble.  some people carry on talking long past the meaningful answer.  DID YOU DO THAT Owner?  I says carefully so as not to upset the biscuit cart.
I THINK, she babbled to me, I avoided it Wonka.  and the upshot is folks, she will find out if she has secured a brighter financial future for ME and Bubb and Rug at the end of the week.  I have a box of issues I mean Tissues ready PLUS there is ample builders tea. End of and Fact up:
There we are!! Owner thought they might ask about change... DID THEY ask you Owner I says still fairly interested as this might change my future you see folks.......NO she goes back there was DE RIEN, NIMIC (this is for our lovely Romanian folks, well at least two and it means nothing. X) about change, but they did ask for an example of when my authority was challenged.  When I had finished laughing, I asked Owner which example out of the several thousand she had given.  THAT LAST SKOOL placement she goes, the one where the entire class went haywire.  OH YES I went back.  I can only hope folks, that the nice panel of judges I mean interviewers, liked Owner enough to forgive all those rambling, shuffling erming and looking at the ceiling and out of the window for inspiration answers............... AND, if not, that nice consultant Kevin rang Owner with two days werk at the best skool placement in the world alright this town then.  This week is full of it folks.X
In other less exciting news, Ruggles has stopped going in the luxury shed and there is a newby on the block.  Owner is calling it Perdita for now until another name pops up. it is tabby and ate all of Rugg's breakfast yesterdee.  Bertie is still pretty fat but happy with it and ME, thanks for asking, very happy that Owner is back from NOT Europe but the west midlands and didn't get eaten by a roundabout.  Tonight we will cuddle up to Enders even though it is still on with Staycee and her baby jesus, then it is Happy Valley to hide behind a cushion with.  There has been another murder and we think he will try and pin it on another murderer erer.  End of and fact up.X
Now do go on to have a bigger and better day to yourselves. That full moon up there is having a beneficial (lordy!) beam down on us so best whiskers and a tiny claw will do it!! Big Love Wonka X

Monday, 22 February 2016

Get in lane!

Good Morn this beauty Mundee folks!  Sun's up and so is Owner.  Now I did NOT say she is raring to go. NO.  And she has already missed two calls for werk from her best consultant that is Kevin.

WOULD you Owner, I quizzed up, HAVE ACCEPTED A DAY'S TOIL I mean werk??  NO Wonka she says straightback to me, AS YOU KNOW I have an interview later on.  Owner seems to me, to be on laid back setting and although this is good where interviews and such like are concerned should she have a dab of nerves?? This will happen about 10 mins before she is grilled I mean interviewed I dare say, so plenty of time yet.  And folks, Owner must look right before she sounds right. X
There we are!! that is what me and Owner do the minute she falls back in after what seems like YEARS somewhere else!! and here's the big news folks, she navigated all those little islands come cities come roundebouts, and she got in all the lanes that sprung up out of nowhere.....all of sudden Wonka, she tells me up, I was in this lane and then a big sign said Get IN LANE! and blow me down all our stairs if she didn't crack it folks....I blame it on the endless supply of fruit pastilles AND choc limes. X
In other lesser news she had a fab time and is sorry to be back here saddled with interviews aged parents deeper in debt and such forth BUT the upside is we are all here ME, Bertie bubb and Rug to keep her busy.  Yes siree. And she has brought back a little sky blue bag with a big bow for a fastener that she HAD to have.  There will be a suitable cartoon of this shortly as it is still settling in folks and dangling from a door handle. (I did say to Owner is this why all the locks fail because all these heavy things are dangling from the door handles but she didn't hear me above racing upstairs to hang the new darling bag from her door handle.  end of and fact upX).
Tonight we will be exhausted from trips to the GP (aged sibling) trips to the interview (Owner) and trips round the accounts. (I hide under the bed for this and then if need be under the darker and harder to get at bed settee. X) BUT, there is Corrie X 2 stacking up on villains and Enders which is even darker than those two places I hide in!! Try and get through Mundee with plenty of snacks and snoozes!  Big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 21 February 2016


My belovedandbestest ever Owner has returned!!!

And we have all been GOOD!!

There will be some proper news tomorrow folks but in the meantime there is this:
What and who is that you all shout at me very loudly???  that folks, is May, who Owner has been visiting.  ANYONE else I says up?
MY COUSIN and her partner that's who May lives with and tries to keep in check  my belovedandbestest Owner droned to me..........X
I am not jealous no.  I do not go in for that hardly at all, ever.  You know how much I encourage Bertie bubb to come out of the Narnia and play............and how I love to bat paws with Ruggles. anyway, I have missed my belovedandbestest Owner rather a lot and am dashing off for yet another huge and giant cuddle.  End of and Fact up.  There will lots of news tomorrow including all of Owner's worrywarting about the Pending interview.  I know! exciting isn't it!!  Big love Wonka X

Friday, 19 February 2016

Back soon......

Whilst I am zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and more zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

you can always read our best stories!!!

Ah!! the very first Duffel story...............and there is another too.  We love a sequel me and Owner.  All of them are to be found nestling up on for your fun and free reading!! X
Enjoy your weekend folks and see you soon Big Love Wonka!! X

Thursday, 18 February 2016

Is it Fridee Yet?

Owner is nearly ready to fling off on her break.


CHARGER? Tick......................

Me? thanks for asking, I have circled the bags and sniffed them and she is definitely NOT going to Europe.  She has whirled around today, in and out and back again, and the car with no name got checked by that nice new garage.
Was it a thorough check Owner? I quizzed up as she sped past me with a million bags of essential shopping and cat concrete I mean litter.  THEY TESTED THE LIGHTS AND LOOKED IN THE BONNET Wonka, she shouted over her shoulder at me, plus it turns out you can tell if a tyre is alright just by quickly looking at it. Yes.  Luckily folks, Owner is so stressed out by her accounts, by the pending interview (Mundee.x), by everything else oh yes the agency working, to spare any nervous reactions to the journey ahead. End of and fact up.X
There is it!!  it's been looked at and filled with petrol and EVEN had a quick wipe round and a dust.  I haven't mentioned that the drivers seat was soaked with the rain that came through the good sun roof and I'm not going to as it is nearly dried out, Owner said. X
Due to Owner whirling like a dervish all day long I am worn out. I have had to run upstairs to get away from the monster sucking up dust and my fur and such and then downstairs when it followed me. I have had to move out of my box more times that I like to count due to Owner keep dusting and cleaning.  She even gave me a brush and a clean, I ask you!! I cannot wait for my Aunty to get here.  She knows how to relax!  In the meantime folks there will be a natural break here on this diary until Sundee............XX
Bertie Bubb will know no different (that Owner is not fussing round but someone else is.) Ruggles loves my Aunty lots so it turns out it is just me that goes a bit funny and could lash out with a tiny claw. IT'S JUST NERVES Owner offers up as an excuse for me, and so far Aunty is going along with that.............X
Whilst I am gone and Owner is having a fun time of it: Chins up, face the world in style, and I will be back Sundee.
Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 17 February 2016


When Owner was enjoying the wonders of that fab school the other week, did I tell you up folks about the master baker in the food Tech lessons................................. and the smell of baking bread.

I WAS NEARLY TEMPTED droned Owner to me, when she wafted back in that day, TO START MAKING MY OWN BREAD AGAIN.  I did say this wouldn't be wise what with all the proving and rising and damp tea towels PLUS it is only a hanky sized kitchen and smaller with Ruggles in it.  That may have stopped us from having pancakes, now that Ruggles has discovered the cooker is but a shortcut to the radio and another minute surface that he can lay on to spy out of the poor kitchen door.  The glass bit folks.

it is all the kitchen's fault in other words that Owner is not making and baking half the things she could be:

There we are!!  Owner is more likely to get a bonk on the nut in that kitchen than conjure up (good use of word!x) a nice plate of food. End of and latest fact up.x
It is pouring with rain and Owner has stood by her dwindling principles NOT to return to the poor placement she has been saddled with.  Her good consultant pleaded with her to go, alright he said could she go.  NO says Owner standing firm but penniless! I do admire a principle folks, being stood by, don't you?  EXCEPT when it makes Owner unhappy and fretful.  To avoid that happening I have suggested a nice refreshing walk in the said and aforementioned pouring rain with a dash of sharp icy wind thrown in.  THAT WILL BLOW THE COBWEBS I says up.X
Today we must just get through it and out the other side folks.  it is a preparing day: (list up) 1.  obtain some information about the job Owner has an interview for as where she saved it to, heaven knows. 2. pack for a weekend away and re pack as so far I thought Owner was going to Europe. it is only Birmingham folks.3. Write a big list for my Aunty to read when she steps gladly through the front door to see to ME, Bubb and Rugg.  I am hoping for a space of more than 5 mins between Owner flinging out and Aunty stepping in. X
Tonight we must huddle up to Corrie and another bake off with some nice politicians stroke comedians stroke vaguely famous people (maybe) baking in a large tent (we need one of them) for charity. Ruggles will ask to go out dead on 9 pm and Owner will give him the YOU KNOW YOU DON'T lecture for the lghjsyfmdhth time. Raincoats on over your fur today folks, and set to it!  Big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Good Hair Day

This is just to cheer all you folk up who are having a rotten Feb.

SO ARE WE!! what with the bubster on a diet, me with.......hang on, I have DE RIEN wrong.....what with Rugglestop and his ear mites (say no more but when he scratches himself round the ears he make a funny gargling noise.X) and now for Owner's Feb:

Anxiety ridden, poverty stricken, stress ridden and horrid work placements ridden BUT and this is the top news folks, her hair has gone good.  all else has slid downwards except this.  it looks a picture.  A golden silky stylish picture  and that folks, is our saving grace for Feb.
It went good just before our bestest hairdresser landed and it has stayed good.  As if, droned Owner to me and I did listen up as it was smack on one of my snack times, - as if to make up for all the rotten bits Wonka! and folks, there are always plenty of those laying in wait for Owner. End of and fact up.X
When she fell back in after a pesky day at that good placement gone bad, she needed more tea and more cuddles.  I was hoisted up and flung over her shoulder before you could say Bertie Bubb!  All the good service users loved her and liked her crafts she told me up, AND admired her hair.  Flattery folks, is just what Owner needs on days like these.  In other more exciting news, someone has seen fit to offer Owner an interview.  it is on Mundee coming and she is already in a spin.  Owner and interviews are a bit hit and miss - I know what to do and I have done it folks - flung 20p in the wishing well.  and if that doesn't secure the job.......the good hairstyle will!X
Tonight we have cuddled up to Enders and a horrid character called Baybe.  We don't like her not even as a villain and she will easily take the place of Staycee and Ben and all, for getting on Owner's nerve.  Luckily Happi Valley is on and will take Owner's mind off the three thousand problems it is grappling with.  I did say should you be relaxing when there is an interview coming up, the accounts to jiggle and go flsyglkguidkldx over, and a weekend to prepare for but luckily she didn't hear me above boiling the rocket for a builders.  I know. X
Have a cuddly eve and a spring in your step tomorrow folks! big Love Wonka X

Monday, 15 February 2016

Fat Bubb

You had to WEIGHT (well I thought it was funny but Owner said not.x) I mean wait a couple of days but here it is............

There he is!!! Bertie on those scales with the good vet astonished that he is weighing more than before!! I love it. x
How did Owner go on at that place Wonka you all shriek up desperate to know....she has rung and left a message and sent off a long email to her best consultant in the land.  Not another complaint Owner I whispered up from well behind the kitchen door.  I CANNOT LET IT GO Wonka, she says to me as her hearing is acute folks.  WITHOUT REPORTING it she droned to me.  It turns out one of the supposed members of staff who could have been in charge but we don't know that for sure (Owner says when you don't know you say a ledge.  Why anyone would talk about a windowsill I'm not sure. X) - anyway this person was NOT helpful and may have been laughing about not being helpful (even I know it is not good to laugh at Owner if she is not on the right setting).  the upshot was folks, Owner felt hard done by and not appreciated.  End of and fact up. X
Once Owner had let off steam by mail and phone, it was safe to come out from under the table and lay as normal, under my sun lamp which doubles as a table lamp EVEN though it is situated (like it.x) on the floor.  Ruggles has been even more good than usual and didn't bat an eye when a beauty white and ginger cat trundled through the gate. In full view as Owner had helpfully (our word for the day) wound the blind up on the poor kitchen door so Rug could see out.  IS HE BLIND Wonka? she pondered up...meaning Rugglestop.  Well he can see me alright when I nip into the kitchen for some confrontation time!  Bertie bubb is exercising himself as far as the bowl of biscuits (his 15 grams portion of unless I eat some then it is less.x) so really folks all is as nice as ninepence.
Tonight we are clutching onto Corrie x 2 with Tracey locked in a hotel bedroom with Carling brown eyebrows, being mean as only she knows how.  Symon is also quite mean and Sally and Tim are a mean team!! I haven't mentioned Ben or Staycee and I'm not going to.  Now do all of you smooth your fur down, and find that purr! and whiskers a go go....Big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 14 February 2016

Happi Valentines!!

Just a short and sweet little word up from me to wish you all good folks out there a loving day - you know that Owner is my best valentine and I have given her the gift of me being good ALL DAY LONG....................X
That's lovely Wonka! you all gasp up in admiration.... yes, it is an old sketch of Owner's showing off a good bunch of cheery daffs PLUS the famous Plymouth pony or donkey or such like.  and anytime we need to laugh or smile (let's face it that is every day folks.x) we just need to look at that toothy grin! I love it.X
In other less valentine ridden news, we got through The Voice nicely with my little paloma only apologising over and over again a couple of times, and Owner hardly noticed. WHY? you all wonder up suddenly interested...Because folks she is battling with a new and complicated accounting problem.  I have found that if Owner is given a horrid money problem she is quiet for days on end and on FULL ON worry wart setting.  I have thrown a good amount of silver into the wishing well and expect it to be solved sharpish.

This diary is messing about and has published itself without my say so!! End of and fact upski. x

Tonight we are weeping steadily through pass the midwife and then if Owner is still anxiety ridden I will make her watch something else.  IF there is anything beyond torture serials or spies.  Tomorrow Owner must shuffle off to Mencap and avoid any talk of whether she is better off than they are (the staff folks, not the clients we love them.X) My advice folks is to count to around 500 before speaking.  End of.X

Do enjoy the rest of your valentines folks and keep warm and snug like me, Bertie bubb and Rugglestop. Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 13 February 2016


Usually folks, when we get to February, Owner's poor life already on fair to middling setting, slips down a notch.  last year, about this time she fell straight into ugly mode and stayed there.  ALSO Wonka, she interrupts me to remind me just how AWFUL it was, she was placed in a nursery with FAB children but NOT fab staff.
AND had to travel for half and hour (at Owner's pace which is pretty fast don't forget) to turn up on time.

NOT THAT ANYONE CARED Wonka, she moaned up to me.

AND?  you all question up in the new and still very annoying way.

This year, all is different.  and better.  and not ugly.  Good Graham who is Owner's hairdresser and has survived for a year and a half in this important NO vital role, trots in yesterdee and transforms Owner from looking really nice (she said and I agreed.x) to downright gorgeous.  end of and fact up.X

About once a year folks, it just goes right.  There is no known reason for this and even Einstein would have struggled for an answer.  yes. X
In other more important news, Bertie was whisked to the vets and overseen by the good vet Mrs Duffy who is fab and who Bertie does like.  HE was popped on not one but two scales as the first ones said he had put on masses of weight.  The upshot is, the first weigh in, according to the good vet was simply wrong. I mean I am trying hard to reduce his weight by the simple and effective (get me.x) intervention (see what I mean.x) of eating his food. Even that is not working. he is on the same miniscule diet, and to return in one month. Thinner. X
We cuddled up to twice times Corrie and poor symon is troubled and angst ridden like all teenage boys all over the world except he is not a teenager yet.  Surely there is another excuse. Sally is still going for councillor (spelling!x) and ignoring that the whole street does not care. AND thingy in the wheelchair is buying drugs off of thingy in the blanket coat who helps Dev out. We were quite worn out and had to watch Enders to refresh ourselves.  Ben who is with a girl when he wants to be with a boy STILL has not said. This has annoyed Owner nearly as much as Stacee and her madness did.x
Tonight we will tune into the singing show that has soap tendencies (says Owner.  do you mean the constant squabbling and making up again of the so-called panel of judges Owner I quizzed up?  YES Wonka she advised.x) Dickensian went very sad with babies being whizzed off and handed over to strangers and nasty compeyson is as big a liar and cheat as ever before. We hate him he is a top villain.x
Do have a super Satdee when it stops raining and whatever else it wants to cough up.  Owner will dash to the shops and her rounds (aged sibling and parent) and thankfully I can get on with my to do list once she does.  laugh and smile folks!  big Love Wonka X

Friday, 12 February 2016


OWNER reported up thus:

It is tiring Wonka, being a newbie all the time. tourjours le temps I said up in my best frenchy france.
MAIS OUI she says back full of it, all because she has been in a French lesson.  I KNOW WHAT socks are in French she shows off by saying.  And folks, seeing as how I was pretty near to starving for my tea time I had to ask WHAT IS IT Owner??

chausettes or something very like it. The end, LE FIN and fact up.

In German, socks are SOCKEN.  I love this word and it is now my word up of the entire year so far.  Whoever and whatever gets on my wick and Owner's nerve, we shall say PUT A SOCKEN in it!! X

Bertie has to trail back to the Vets this morning and then, Owner must dash straight to the new and promising school she has been placed with.  At this rate, she will lose weight much quicker than Bertie folks.

Here he is!! an old sketch of Owner's when Bertie wasn't MASSIVE and needing a full on diet.  Owner is hoping that when he is placed on the scales (he doesn't break them I goes up!! sorry Bertie X) that he has lost a couple of whatever they are calling it now.  IS IT GRAMS she questions up?
It being Fridee there is more to do than ever.  And Owner is tiring me out by talking about it all.  The second she falls back in the door our fave hairdresser is braving it out with her hair.  yes.  Because he is finally coming to tame her locks into a decent hairstyle her hair has gone right.  She sent him a massive (Owner's word up for the year) text explaining what to do, and if we are in luck he will ignore it completely.  I know.
Dickensian was too sad last night and we want more bullseye and less weeping please.  Corrie will do us proud and I haven't mentioned Enders and I'm not going to.  Whisk you way through Fridee folks and the weekend is all to play for!  Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

The Good Life

SOME PEOPLE, droned up Owner just when I was dozing off after a long day of it (looking at Bertie, looking at Bertie again, checking out front for red van man as Owner cannot abide his van and I mean she goes funny about it if it is parked up opposite - anyway, yes checking out back and all over again from the begin............)

SOME PEOPLE are having a good life Wonka, she observed.  I have to admit that the odd moment this could be true of Owner, and I mean ODD moment, but what she meant was this:  some people are trotting off to werk and coming home with all their nerves intact.  End of and Fact up.  It turns out that the school Owner was posted to was far too nice for its own good.  it was calm, collected, caring and even the staff were friendly. I have popped a coin in the overflowing well for Owner to get in there, mostly, as it would make my life easier.  End of. total. XX

There we are!  it is only two mins since they got hitched and now Murrymint is a Dad! They are the proud parents of a baby girlie who will soon rule that roost! and they folks, are definitely living the good life.....X
What else is good right now you all ponder up busy examining your own tidy little lives?? IT'S ALL ABOUT COUNTIN YOUR BLESSINGS goes Owner still in full on philosophical setting (need a lie down....x) and I will remind her she said that in 2 mins time when she is doing the accounts.  NOTHING, De Rien, is more likely to send her funny............apart from red van man.  Then she goes: DOES HE HAVE TO PARK there!!!  I know.x
Ruggles did a repeat of yesterdee and popped to the shed and stayed there.  First on the downstairs bit and then on the shelf. And, Owner reports he went funny when she looked in. personally I think it is fair enoughski to shy back and look funny with Owner charging through the shed door...........Bertie is starving and is hunting for food BUT he must stay on his diet, Owner is determined.  me?  thanks for asking, I nearly got trapped in the tiny minute space between the sideboard and the skirting but luckily Owner noticed I was trying to reverse out and moved the sideboard to untrap me.  it does weigh a ton and I mustn't ever go there again, she said to me.x
Do go on to have a good life of a day out there folks, and soon be Fridee.  Big Love Wonka X
PS due to Owner slaving away and being busy she has hardly watched the telly to shout at it BUT chose to watch happi Vally over Real Marigold.  We are saving that for tonight to say cherio to Wayne and co.  we loved it.

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Wishing on a Well!

What is all this Wonka? you all creep out of bed to ask me.

The Wishing Well has coughed up, that's what!! All those tiny pieces of silver folks, have returned our wishes...........Whilst Owner was out busy buying non essentials in the form of lights (fairy lights. TICK), another lamp (Alright we did need ONE more. TICK) gift for my Aunty soon to come over here and spoil me rotten (GIANT TICK) then onto the store that is not just any old store to come back with a new and shapely figure PLUS a T Shirt that cost more than any self respecting T shirt could cost.  DO YOU LIKE IT Wonka? she asks up and I said................YES or DA or MAIS OUI and finally DANKE.

then what Wonka you all shout now at me..............  then Owner gets a message from the best consultant this side of the Ganges wherever that is, to say PLS RING ME.  First off, Owner thinks it is bad news and suffers a guilt ridden 5 mins.  Then she does ring and it is more WERK..........for the nxt three days folks!!!  That is all of us on best biscuits and expensive diets!! XXXX

The other after shock to all of this is that Owner will be so busy she may shed a few pounds.  When she was forced to look at herself in THAT store, whilst trying on new non essential items, she saw a big fat fairly attractive person glaring back.  That's not true Owner I says up, you don't glare that often...............ONLY JOKING!!!!

Luckily, the big positive for me is extra time to zzzzzzzzzzz and generally be nosey and naughty without anyone to counter it.  BE GOOD, she says to me as she skips off out.  As if...............
Big Love Wonka X

Which One?

Owner was full of despair yesterdee but has got up with a tad more hope.  A SOUPCON.
What word is that Wonka? you all cough and splutter up at me with your best colds of the season.

It is meant to be Frenchy  France for a little bit.  IN German it would be EIN BISSCHEN which I have rather taken to.  Even Owner can remember it without too much prompting and looking up.  End of and fact up X.

Why is Owner full of the glooms and glumps?  in a word February folks.  it is not Owner's month up, and never will be.  This is why she has a planned escape JUST for a couple of days Wonka she has reassured me AND not a full on trip to Europe or that.  She has already began stockpiling possible outfits and moaning about her figure. NO she is not massive like Bertie, it is just what she sees in  the mirror folks..............and I feel a non essential shop coming on that I will have to check thoroughly item by item. X

Today, we have this to contend with!

There we are!! Aside from all the other pressing problems (no proper job, no proper money, house falling to bits, massive cats on diets! x) Owner has found this one!!! Whether we must watch the Last in series of the beloved Marigold Hotel with beloved Wayne and Jan Leening I mean Leeming OR the first in the new series of Happy Valley!! which had us all hiding behind cushions AND shouting it's behind you! at the telly. 
IT'S A REAL DILEMMA she droned to me.x

In other more economical news, Owner has a shout for werk next week at Mencap.  YOU LIKE IT THERE Owner I says, smiling and all of that it being smack on tea time.  She says she DID really like it until one of the staff started up about how many hours SHE had to werk when SHE was at a good agency.  THAT got on my nerve Wonka.  Personally I like a good bit of jealousy and petty behaviour as it contrasts with my generous and happi go lucky spirit AND I says to Owner you need to let go of that resentment now..........from well behind the kitchen door and she may have missed it.  I WILL TRY AND IGNORE IT Wonka, she shouts through the door to me. X

As soon as Owner flings off out for the shops (good luck shops!) I will have a quick check on Bertie - just to see if he is as big as 2 mins ago, then I might snack up on a couple of biscuits and goodness knows it will time for some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz OH!

Now do avoid being blown away by any of these visiting storms with names on to make us feel better, just wrap up warm and whisker up!! Big Love Wonka X

Monday, 8 February 2016

More New Years!!

Owner had to be prised out of bed this morning even though she was having a bad dream.
HOW BAD Wonka? you all shout up really interested now. Owner reports she had to get the police in to remove a bad person. from her house.  yes, and also - and this is the best bit folks,  Owner forgot, yes forgot she had a baby!! and had left it outside next door's gate!  Did you get it back I questioned up, as you do when a small child is involved................YES I DID, she says and it was in one those little carrier things.  AND, none the worse for being left behind either. 
And all of this folks before we start the day!!! Which is the Chinese New Year of the Monkey!!
There we are!!! Rugglesis introduces the year of the Monkey!  good luck to everyone even though you might not be one.  There are 12 animals to be depending on what year you popped into this world in! We think Ruggles is a dog and I might be one too, and if not we are Cats.........and as for Bertie Bubb, he could be a snake as he is always hissing at me! I know!X
Owner read somewhere that it is unlucky to wash your hair on the first day of the new year so she has a fab excuse not to.  is that why it looks like a haystack I said.....BUT not out loud folks!!! No one has tried to contact her this morn for any cover work anywhere not even in the place where she fell to bits...not that anyone would notice she tells me up, as all else are doing the same. is there an easier way for Owner to earn a crust you all shout up as one.  As I have droned to you before, many a time, I am busy busy busy trying to be famous and rich.
I have excelled myself this morn in a new French phrase and may have to lie down. X
In other news, Ruggles has jogged off to the luxury shed for a lay down in there.  He is nestled in the upstairs box (on the shelf) and will not come home as yet.  We think mid afternoon he will as he will be starving by then as will I.  And bubb. X
Now that Owner is firmly back on the scrap heap, we can enjoy a more gentler paced day, with plenty of snacks in it.  IF she can get over her bad dream. WHY Wonka, she keeps pestering me, Did I dream of that person??  I have tried hard to be a dream interpreter folks and come up with several options. (list) 1.  it is an anxiety dream disguising your dread of work 2.  It is a chance to explore your fears of things that need removing from your life safely within a dream. and 3.  you mentioned the number 12 in your dream and this may be significant forget all the other horrid, fearful, anxious stuff,  End of and Facts up. X
We both sobbed through call the midwifey and no wonder Owner had poor dreams.  Tonight there is corrie times two and we have a new baddie that will outdo Feelan and it is Jenee! Rita will be too blinded by goodness to see it, and only Kirkee in the Factory has a glimmering of the true colours.......there is a new refugee in the factory who got on Owner's nerve by eating. yes.  At a table talking to Evah who is the only one who knows.  And if Owner's setting moves up a notch we could watch Enders.  That should round us off nicely folks, on this first good day of the Chinese new year.  and I am going to say monkeys to everyone all day long!!! X
Have a full on monkey day folks! with no scratching! Big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Cleaning Jive!

Howdy Up folks!! Because it is Sundee and a day of rest Owner leapt up this good morn and we have had a cleaning frenzy!

THIS CARPET! she said, looking at all the bit and bobs and curious looking marks and more blobs and FUR and such!! I MUST get the monster out....................OH NO - I have had to nestle upstairs out of harms way for hours now.  Then, she has been cooking yes cooking in the kitchen until the whole of the downstairs smells of CAULI and BROCOLLI.  she is on a massive cleaning and cooking jive folks and Bertie had to go into the inner sanctum(blimey!!) that is his igloo within the Narnia.
IS THAT A SORT OF CUPBOARD WITHIN A CUPBOARD Wonka? you all croak up it being a Sundee. YES Siree!!
Ruggles is always on people alert and machine alert EVEN in a deep sleep he is ready to leap up and escape.  I bet folks, all of you out there relaxing into your Sundees are dead jealous of EH?? X

That is what I should be doing of a Sundee folks!! XXX
What else you all whisper up is going on Wonka?  We have wall to wall #terrywogan on thankfully Owner was paying attention yesterdee and noticed there was to be a FULL ON two hours from good Radio 2 on Terry's BEST BITS! so it is booming out from every room in the house.  He may even hear it himself from the next room............we love you Sir Tel!x
Last night I feared for Owner when she said in a low voice that my little Paloma was now getting on her nerve.  TRY AND HOLD OFF Owner I says to her, and sure enough 'Loma' as Georgy is now calling her, finally stopped saying SORRY for not pressing her big bad buzzer to what was a pretty good performance that anyone else would have turned round for.  Just as Owner was drawing breath to shout SHUTUP at the good and poor telly, she did.  After that excitement, we had Casualtee and the two best bruvvers have found their mum AND charley did not mess it up for them.X
Tonight we will weep all the way through Call the Midwifey AND I must reassure Owner that the coming week cannot be a patch on the week before it. (lots of silver in the wishing well which is full to its brim now.x) Now Owner has finally calmed down from her cleaning frenzy and may fling off for a swim..............a chance for some  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! have the kind of Sundee you deserve folks and then some...with biscuits on!!!  Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 6 February 2016

I love Owner!

Did she make it through Wonka? you all ask anxiously.

Just about folks.................. When she crawled back in last night after her dally with fame - alright an open mic night, she had to have a giant builders tea.  AND there wasn't a parking space for miles so the car with no name is a good two streets away - apart from all of that Owner, I says up nicely, HOW DID IT GO?

About as well as that last lesson I didn't cover Wonka! she tells me back.  Plus, I got chatted up by a fire-eater, she tells me up. (he said.  I said, Owner if he didn't fire-eat what did he do? HE PLAYED THE GUITAR she goes back.  OH. x) Are the planets in some horrid line up I wondered up, I mean how foolish can things get? eh? EH?? x

to cap it all, Owner spent ten mins on the doorstep with her key in the good front door chatting to a neighbour in the cold and dark and drizzle, whilst I, prodded the window with my head and the other end of me!!  it turns out this NICE neighbour is leaving the street and has sold her house 2 mins after popping it on the market.
I FEEL LIKE PACKING UP AND GOING TOO whined Owner, sipping on her builders.  OH! I says, snapping out of my dream which was to eat up the rest of Bertie's new biscuits.

There was a woman in a red dress who performed herself out of the park, there was a stand up comic who told at least one funny joke, there were several guitar playing men and such and some poets and THEN folks there was Owner.  She told her tale to a startled audience and kept going through two mobile rings. DID SHE FINISH before the allotted 5 mins you all wonder up, admiringly.
WELL BEFORE. End of and fact up. X

in other less interesting news, Owner is now on a downward spiral and it will take a LOT of confidence boosting from me to sort this out.  There is chocolate TICK.  there is some red vino. TICK. There is The Voice, with my little paloma and Georgy porgy squabbling and picking on Rickee whilst Willyam sits tight. MASSIVE TICK. and then Casualtee - this might save the day specially if charley nursey imparts (like it) some wisdom.  you see Owner, I chirps up. it's not all bad...............X

You folks, are on orders to quickly go out, do your essential shopping, and hurry home to cuddle up to a boxset.  It is the answer to all known ills and then some. I have told Owner to do the same, with sweets on!   Big Love Wonka X

PS I know you are all hanging off your settees wondering and gasping up as to WHAT was the story Owner did tell.....................

Friday, 5 February 2016

She said No!


And this time folks, Owner said NO.  not quite No, Wonka, she tells me up after.  The world according to Owner goes like this folks:  After a whole night toss turn turn toss get up and make a drink oh and have 2 biscuits, open windows shut them read a couple of pages of a book that IS NOT a good bedtime book....zzzzzz and she wakes up with WHAT TO DO.

This folks is called SLEEPING ON IT.  the answer then flies into your head in the night and you know what to do about that problem.  according to Owner. X

I said I CANNOT GO BACK TO THAT SCHOOL THIS MORN (she went into a long rant why.  I am missing out that bit folks. in short, yesterdee was Owner's waterloo, except it happened in a classroom.  she is still alive. NO she has not gone onto zero setting.  I know. X) BUT, I says I will go back next week - IF I feel up to it.  End of and fact up.

This folks is sort of what happened:

There we are!  Owner says the lesson went downhill 2 mins before it began and she never wants to learn about distillation and evaporation ever again not ever. X
so when she falls back in later on and instantly saying I AM NOT GOING TO CRY Wonka, well folks, I had my work as pur cut out.
I had to promise (list) 1.  NEVER to eat anymore of Bertie's new dietary biscuits. (paws crossed. X) 2. NOT to scratch her by accident or even worse on purpose. (as if.X) 3. NOT to look at Bertie directly (would I? x)................end of and facts up.x
Last night I tried to lighten things up with a dose of Enders which ended in not one but two prison visits. Are they saving on something Owner wondered up? and then we watched Dickensian, with nasty Compeyson plotting to be rid of his engagement and then half of Jericho.  WHY JUST HALF Wonka you all wake up and shout to me? when Owner is jittery and juddery, she cannot concentrate and poor Jericho wasn't sad, bad or dangerous enough to know.  tonight she may venture out to an (big roll on the drums) OPEN MIC session.  all I can say is, take a deep breath and pretend you are talking to me Owner.X
I want you all to take Fridee by the gunnels whatever they are, give them a good shake up and GO TO IT!!  big Love Wonka X

Thursday, 4 February 2016

She's just a girl who.....

Folks Good Morn up!!!   The next line is of course, Owner is just a fool who can't say NO!!! sorry Owner! only joking...............

BBBRRNNNGGGG goes Owner's mobile just as she is about to settle down at the good table with her breakfast AND a good book.
'Do you want to go for the hat trick?' goes the best consultant in the whole world OR a largish town nearby. WHY? says Owner 5 mins later, did I say Yes instead of NO...... and what can I say back folk??? Yesterdee, she just about scraped through the afternoon, with shouting, making a note of names, more shouting, throwing herself in front of the door to stop the student stampede at the last bell.....................BUT stopped short by a miniscule few centimetres of a nervous breakdown.
I will say a prayer Owner....AND pop double the amount in the wishing well.  I cannot folks, say furrer I mean fairer than that. end of and Fact well up. X

There we are!! it is just Owner on a typical day really.  A bit of hows your father here, and a lot of bgkhggslfidyxxxx! over there.  and I will be ready to run upstairs if the mood setting swings to ZERO!!! under that bed !!! X
In other lesser news, after Owner had returned she made a mess up of her eagerly awaited hairdressing.  HOWCOME you all shout up, knowing full well that this is Owner's HIGHLIGHT of the month.  This was due to her changing her mind at the last minute folks. Do I want my hair this colour?  or that colour? or any colour???? all these questions folks would tax the patience of a good line up of Saint hairdressers and Graham is no saint! (we love you Graham!x) so the new appt is a week Fridee and MUST not change. 
The other cancellation that has taxed the patience of a radio presenter, means Owner cannot now make a fool of herself on radio, (but is saving that for a class full of students instead!! ONLY joking Owner.X) as she is covering some classes again.  Yes, she was due to star again at the local Scarborough Radio and personally, I think it is a blessing that her services are required elsewhere.   JUST THINK OF THE £s I said to Owner by way of reassurance.  End of and huge fact up. X
We got through the evening nicely what with Sport relieving bake off this time with nice Ed Balls, mad Victoria Coren (and sorry if it isn't coren coren X))and some other finer bakers.  Victoria baked an impressionist cake which failed to, and Ed's skier didn't either.  thingy won it with a yoghurt cake. I know. Corrie was all about reformed and keen to show she has, Jenni, who Reetah has taken under her wing and telling all else to leave her alone!  Tonight there is Dickensian AT LAST.  Bertie?  he is doing well on the diet and the fears of the thorough money grabbing (sorry vet!) vet were unfounded.  It is not Bertie stealing my food but the other way round!!! Ruggles has discovered how much he loves very expensive sheba and more on that tmro.X
Please enjoy your day AND stick to the rules even when everyone shouts at you they are not fair. They are fair!! Big Love Wonka X

Wednesday, 3 February 2016


HALLOA!!! without further ado, and with a tiny drumroll...........
YES folks!! Owner trots back in smiling and normal (well close to. x) This can only mean yesterdee's cover supervising went down a treat.  WE WON'T GO THAT FAR Wonka, she tells me up BUT she even went back into a room where she had felt AWFUL Wonka, last time she was there.  And to follow it up folks, she must go back this aft!! personally, I will do all I can to see her off and out and doing AS it means a full trough of biscuits for ME, and Bertie's very expensive diet AND Rugglestop. XXX
While she was out the good postman tried really hard to deliver the book owner has ordered and was looking forward to reading.  instead he left one of those I TRIED HARD TO DELIVER IT postcards.  This means Owner must dash about and park up and get out of breath simply to capture and secure the book.  WHAT IS IT Wonka you all shout up, possibly out of breath too???
JAKOB's Colours........or something very like that. As soon as we have it here at home, I can report up further folks AND peutetre (could mean perhaps in Frenchy France!) a photshoot. End of and Fact up.X
Finally, the sun is out and it is all to play for.  last night The Real Marigold Hotel did not let us down.  Miriam or Marian or the cuddly one who farts (there I have said it.Don't tell Owner...x) all day long and definitely through the night, well she braved a long train journey with the others to see the Taj Mahal.  Yes,  Was it worth all of that?  YES. We love Wayne, and now we love Jan Leeming who needs a companion pronto.X
Tonight, there is NO, or DE RIEN of Dickensian who has had to make way for another programme which might be a bake off.  Owner may complain.  IF she is not too tired and IF she survives another shout at that place this aft.  She has the good hairdresser to look forward to folks at 5 30, smack on everyone's tea time, and the eternal question of whether to LEAVE WELL ALONE or, go mad.
The answer folks, is in the question. (I love you Owner!XX)
Do go on to have the day of your dreams!  Big Love Wonka X

Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Out of Sorts

What you on about Wonka?  WHO you all cry up, is out of sorts.
Owner, is out of sorts.
it started up last night and this good morn it is continuing.  What has worsened Owner's mood setting which has swung to around 3 to 4 on the meter, is......................... JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.  and to top it off, she has a shout for werk.  Usually this is to be greeted with cries of Thankyou God of Work!! thank you wishing well!! Thank you the powers that be!!!
But instead, I heard non stop groaning and moaning folks.

IT'S TO THAT PLACE Wonka....... Yes? I said in that new and helpful way to encourage more information........... it turns out folks it is to 'help' Kevin out who is Owner's best (and only.x) consultant at the agency.  Even though folks, the last time Owner helped out at this place, she fell back in vowing, VOWING, never to return.  The only thing she can do to fend it off, (I advised.x) is to power dress her socks off. End of and fact up.x

To take her mind off that, and switch it immediately (like it.x) to the never ending spiral into debt of the beloved credit card, there is this:
There we are!! And it is all about diets in this house now.  When Owner is on a mission, no one is left out of it.  I have fought hard to regain my trough of biscuits despite Bertie being on a miniscule ration. And I have tried hard not to taste them.  much. X
Now in other sadder, much sadder news we watched an hour long version of the One Show which normally Owner would shy away from, or rear up against like a horse stalling at a jump. WHY? I questioned up (well after my tea time) are we watching this instead of good Corrie. it turns out it was a full on tribute to Sir Tel and another chance for the entire nation to mourn.  NO, Owner has not stopped yet either. X
Tonight we can cuddle up to the Best Hotel in India (The Real Marigold)and beloved Wayne Sleep. he is our new bestest celebrity.End of.
Now I must dash as I am worn out with advising and reassuring Owner.  her hair has gone alright and this is a blessing I said. OH,she says back, ready to swing into a full on ugly person mood given a chance. IT IS ONLY A COUPLE OF HOURS Owner, I persist in saying.  THANK GOODNESS Wonka she droned back. all this folks for a packet of best biscuits!!  Now do go on to have a fab and successful day yourselves.  no weeping NONE, just smiling and laughing please. big Love Wonka X