Saturday, 29 October 2016

National Caturday!!


I know that does not need an answer OF COURSE YOU DID!!

Well I missed you folks all out there living it up, living it down and meeting yourself coming backwards.... YES I have moved residence and have a new bunch of rooms to navigate and oversee.  it was a trifle demanding and I succumbed (brill word I love it) to my yearly dose of sneezing and running eyes. OH! said the Vet, he had the same thing nearly exactly a year ago.....................and it cost Owner roughly the same price too!  Not to worry folks as Owner did manage to whisker me down to the vets and back even though she was in the middle of moving.  I love her AND thanks to the two week antibiotic PLUS my booster, I am tip top and Bristol Fashion.X

OOOH!!  Yes, purely for your delection folks, one of Owner's beauty illustrations from the latest Wonka Presents! A Spooky Tale - available on for a few measly pence. JUST to keep me and Bubb oh and Ruggles too in best biscuits (and boosters and such).  Just follow this tiny link...............X
When Owner popped onto the smashwords site it gave her all this info about 'WIDGITS' What its? I says up??? I don't know Wonka, she goes back to me.  (and I quote) 'I followed all the instructions and I still don't get it............'  This folks is what I have to live with day in day out.  Now back to the move folks.  ARE YOU HAPPI AS a lark Wonka? you all shout up concerned about me never mind bubbster and Rug. I LOVE it actually, there are a million birds to look out pigeons, sparrows, seagulls. more sparrow like birds and goodness me just about every bird you can name.ALSO, there are cats bobbing around on the rooftops of sheds and walls and looking at them close up. it is paradise found folks.X
Aside from it being a national caturday folks it is also building up to the Halloween time of year.................

There we are!! Perhaps our window may be different this year AND we may not have so many callers in the shape of children often known to Owner from the millions of schools she has worked in.................. 'HALLO MISS!' they say as they recognise her..............X (and they say they will be nice to her now. Hmm.X)
Now also whilst we have been moving things have moved on apace on the tv.  Candice won the bake off and we loved it, and her lippie did the whole nation proud.  Oti and Danny and Ore and Jo are our newbie faves in Strictly.  Owner has got their names wrong a couple of times now but I have not said anything. In Corrie everyone is having a baby or it seems like it and thingy has had a stroke - Tracy tried to blame it on Peter but it must be her fault.  We are not sure what is happening in Enders as Fil is missing along with most of the main characters that Owner identifies with.  Even Shazzer is not there nor Shirlee. (?) And that brings us nicely to the Hex Factor where we really do not know what is going on.  I promised Owner we can watch it tonight and figure it out BUT it does clash with Casualtee and as you know this is Owner's security blanket on a Saturdee.X
I wanted to tell you all about the parking at our new abode which Owner insists on calling the Crow's Nest.  The entire house is on a tilt folks BUT I am adjusting.  As for the car with no name it is busy revving up and reversing in what daughter said was " the smallest street I have ever knowed." end of and street fact up.X
We are now spiralling (nice use of word.X) towards Christmas folks and I wonder if anyone has given a thought to buying our Christmas Story?? in case you had forgotten here it is........X
Treat yourself!!! and obtain it on why don't you??!X
Now I must fly...Bertie has taken to hiding under the giant nest that is Owner's bed and Ruggles has only taken over the little study complete with settee and a look out to die for!!! YES I am being as friendly as friendly can be with them.....X
Be nice to everyone this coming week and I PROMISE it will pay off.  Have plenty of snoozles to build your energy up and go easy on the biscuit trough.  Until next week folks! Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 15 October 2016

Extra Extra!!! a Spook Alert!

Howdy up folks and as promised the very latest
Wonka Presents!- A Spooky Tale
is now uploaded to
There it is! and just there is Ginger Tom the hero of the tale with the old clock that holds a secret about his old master....
cuddle up and find out more
in Wonka's new
SPOOKY tale!
Big Love Wonka X

New Horizons!

HAVE YOU MOVED Wonka? very nearly folks.  That is to say, next Fridee is Dee Day.  OOOER! you all shout up full of compassion (good word I like it lots.X after all I have plenty of that.) and good will and hopefulness that I will settle in and love it.

This is what I have learned so far............

1.  Owner says there are and I quote: 'Views to die for Wonka. you will see pigeons at close quarters AND sparrows and such like all swooping around and feeding PLUS there is a fish pond to gaze down at from the first floor window.

2.  After I have gazed at that, which let's face it folks has to be fitted in around gazing at Bertie Bubb and checking he is ok with moving from one Narnia cupboard to another similar one - yes after that I can look at the sea if I feel like it and the harbour and even a bit of the lighthouse.X

3.  There are two floors to explore and new nests to make.

4.  I have been told I will love it and end of.X

Owner has been making a million lists and phone calls some went better than others and NO there is no bed for me to go under as daughter helped her take it to bits ready for Dee Day. YES I still have my box so that is alright then. Bertie as I say knows nothing or DE rien and Rugster will simply be transported from one kitchen en suite to another. I know.X

There we are!  Even though it is a new Vista out there, we can still see the stars and Owner says we will see even more of them hanging over the sea and the land around. Ah.X
In other news, Owner is still enjoying her new solid non zero hours job and is holding her own.  She flies back home in a good mood UNTIL she remembers the neighbours BUT then it is alright as we will have new ones.  HAS SHE MET ANY yet Wonka you all wonder up, as you know Owner can be a bit testy and the answer is YES SIREE there is a good neighbour already.  IS IT A SIGN Wonka she says to me, when she flew back home to start even more packing.  It must be I said, as I tucked into some real chicken (thank you chick!x) which is MY treat oh alright and Bubbsters and Rugs for all the upheaval.  I love it. X
Now there is some extra extra news and I am going to tell it IN A FRESH POST!! it is about our new story folks...............X
In between ringing up british gas who turned out to be very friendly and what have you which Owner was astonished by....(she fired them back in the noughties folks and vowed 'I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THEM' as you know folks my motto is NVER SAY JAMAIS!!!! - yes whilst doing this and a million other removal tasks we have managed un peu de tv - Saint Todd has not been in corrie this week which was taken over by a through a glass darkly David who is set to murder someone OR have a near fatal car crash ORget saved by his bruvver (who he tried to murder a few chapters back...X).  we loved it.  In enders we are trying to keep up and we think the funeral family are on the move AND nasty Babe is still nasty. In Strictly will Young of the famed red sox has had to leave which is woesome we like him BUT there are others who we like more.....Anastacia is one of them we do love her and now we love Brendon too.X
Next Satdee folks Owner says we will be off line.  OH, says I.  and Pourquoi even?? because talk talk who are still shoving over a landline and wotnot at us say we will not GO LIVE until the 25th.  personally I shall run up all the stairs (that's two flights now folks) and roll under the bed (still there) and get a bit dusty if it all goes to plan.  Owner has been known to swing very low on the mood setting when she is cut off from civilisation (that's all her social media thingies and webs.  NOT real webs the other ones.X) AM I  prepared you all wonder up? I have a few choice sayings folks tucked away for special stressful occasions like this eg there is always someone worse off than you Owner - and yes I do tend to whisper this one well after my tea time and possibly from in one of the new cupboards.......X
Look out for my extra extra diary folks all about my Spooky Tale!
and please come back to us if we go missing - it is not our fault!!
Have a fab week ahead with lots of things making your fur gleam and your whiskers tingle!! Big Love Wonka X

Sunday, 9 October 2016

Inside out and Upside down.

WHAT THE WHISKERS you on about Wonka you all want to know, worried as I was not doing the diary MY WEEKLY diary on time (yesterdee.) FOLKS it is all down to Owner going through a prolonged (good use of word.X) episode (even better word X) of CHANGE.

THAT's right folks, she has fallen out with environmental health she says they couldn't look after a waste paper basket never mind an incident of NOISE.  After a full on phone call with the Manager (I think it was but most of the time I was under the bed and Bertie was in his lair) and I thought she said 'YOU IDIOT' but I can't be sure....This was followed by a call to His Manager which by my reckoning (reliable) was a bit calmer.  BUT, it turns out no one believes Owner and the neighbours can just carry on being whatever they like. HOW HAS OWNER resolved this Wonka you all shout up at me?  BY CHOOSING ANOTHER HOUSE AND MOVING TO IT SHORTLY.  Needless to say folks we are all upside down and how's your father about it, and all Owner has done is say to me that IT's time to move on.
There we are! all in a state of confusion and shock yes even Bertie Bubb who only moves from his lair a couple of feet to his biscuit trough. Ruggles will still have a kitchen and outback and even some outhouses to smell out and nest in.  Thank goodness I will still have my amazen box and the giant nest that Owner calls a settee oh plus the even bigger nest that Owner used to sleep in - in the good old days when it was worth going to bed (pre neighbours folks. I know.)X
I dare say lots of other things have happened this week like that strange orange man vying (terribly good use of word.x) for president alongside Hillary with 2 ells, saying more stupid things oh and tresa maynot saying stuff about brexit whilst our good pound is dropping through the floor AND silly old Jezzer putting people no one likes except him and his momentum thingy into his wardrobe I mean shadow cabinet. BUT all Owner can think of now is moving folks. The biggest change in our little lives coming up and we can all cope with it because Owner says IT IS NOT FOREVER and IT IS A STOPGAP. I know.X
Finally folks there is a weensy glimmer of light on our horizons because Owner says she is ready to upload the latest Wonka Presents to it is a proud moment folks as it is a good and proper Spooky Tale as told by ME and fully illustrated by Owner. this time though, and to save us all from starving and being able to pay the rent, it must be paid for and we are thinking just under a fiver folks.  That seemed fair to me and will keep me in biscuits throughout the winter. End of.X
There will be the usual announcement folks when the story is on there AND in time for the meantime there is a story already there for the season of spook, so go and check it out!!
You will love it.x
Now do try and get through next week with your fur all nice and smooth and a good strong purr! I shall report back next weekend on all the goings and doings and movings AND signal the arrival of the new story too. Big Love Wonka X

Saturday, 1 October 2016

A Good Week for....

WHATHO folks and HOWDY UP.  this will be a short and snappy round up of the week WHICH had it's good points...................and not so good points.

SHALL WE START WITH THE BAD? you all shriek at me impatient to know that someone out there is having a much more hideous time of it than you are.  HERE WE ARE then...LIST:

1.  The noise has not abated infact Owner says it has increased.
2. When the other lady came round to collect the noise monitoring equipment (as the other lady is off sick.  I know.X) and said that THEY MIGHT DETECT something on the recorder OR NOT.
3.  WHO ELSE is off sick enquired Owner and it turns out there are just two staff manning the entire area and beyond.x
4.  The other one proceeded to dismiss every single noise issue and call it something else including telling Owner she had..............SENSITIVE HEARING.  It was at this point folks that I came out from under the bed where I had been hiding in my lair to shoot downstairs.  The upside to this was that it really frightened the lady who was (to quote Owner) being very patronising.End of.X
5.  The upshot is (we think) that Owner will be left to it and the decision will be it is all in her IMAGINATION as she is too feeble and sensitive to decide what is a normal household noise and what isn't.  YES even in her own home.

There we are folks!except we don't hear that much anymore. and just to finish off, Owner has sent three or is it four emails to the good manager of the dept TO MAKE SURE he listens up.  End of X
That folks is our main bad news story for the week, and just because Owner has an ear infection (thanks GP x) that doesn't mean there is any link to the noise. NO. Me? thanks for asking, mostly I have been tracking down where Owner is going to sleep (JOKE) for the night.  So far it hasn't been the bathroom.X
And when all else stop taking you seriously did you know you can buy that folks? it is called a solicitor.  Yes sireee.  Those pesky americans know all about sooing this that and the other, well back in this little old isle, we are a bit slower on the take off. BUT Owner is busy buying this 'taking me seriously' service and THAT might see off the greedy home who is after all aged parent's savings.  I know.  I have of course offered up my advice from various hiding places in the house, and mostly in a whisper, to say things like, don't let it get you down Owner! and 'Every Cloud.....'X
GOOD things were:  the job has turned out to be fab and Owner has hardly any complaints to-date. (proud.X).  Her hair has fell into an ace style that she would not have dreamed of a week ago when the good hairdresser cut it and she 'couldn't do a thing with it for days.'X She has had a good chat (that's french for CAT you know.X) with our good publishers #austinmacauley about PROMOTING our best ever story.....AND three fab reviews have appeared on about it.
I bought this book for my daughter at christmas time, this is what she had to say about it. "I am 9years old, I really like this book. I love Wonka and his cat friends, especially Ruggles and Baba. Wonka is a really friendly cat and goes on some cool adventures at chistmas time. I like reading this book, it is easy to read with a really good story, just right for my age. I am Madeleine Masterson's biggest fan."
This is from a girl called Phoebe and our next story (An Egyptian Tale) is dedicated to her.X
 So Folks there you have it an upside down week with good bits in it too. What of BERTIE bubb you all shout up? Living it up in his Narnia and not a whiff off trouble in his little life. YES I have looked at him a couple of times and one of them coincided (good use of word) with Owner dropping off to sleep but how was I to know eh? EH? And Rugglesis is as good as ninepence or thereabouts.  Owner carefully put out his winter wooly heated pads and he carefully went off out and settled in the luxury shed.X
On the telly we have clung to a new programme called 'The Retreat' and Owner wishes she could be there right now. Beeb two folks, and on every night at 7pm.  We loved it. In Corrie Saint Todd is in danger from Vinnie who is a bigger and far worse villain than Feelan who has declared I LOVE YOUR MOTHER (that's Eileen folks)and will save Todd from said nasty person.  Who just happens to be his partner in crime.  I know. THEN there is all the fun of the fair with the HEX Factor as they all at Judges Mouses now PLUS the dancing.  Mr Young, Will to his mates, is our new fave as he danced onto our screens with red socks on. next to him is our fave Anastacia and new fave Brendon. We hated him before now we love him.X
If next week can very slightly improve on this week we will say a BIG THANKYOU to the heavens. IF our dream home turns up then we really will be in heaven folks.  Now keep your fur shiny, your eyes bright and those whiskers a tingle!! Big Love Wonka X