Tuesday, 30 September 2014

All to play for Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Once more Owner is in a flurry of activity.  She is here she is there, she is repotting this she is cleaning down that.  I ask you, we even had the monster out yesterdee and it is now poised in the front bedroom yes, gathering dust.  Why you all ask, out there having peaceful lives, is she doing all this work?  The main reason is thus:  (like it, very proud)  keeping Owner busy staves off that black dog setting, you know the one where she starts on about, what is the point and so on.  The point is, we need to be fed and watered and living the dream Owner!!  I love it.

Fresh and playful para.  Today is the day the teddy bears oh no that is a different thing altogether!  NO today is the day Owner's best mate is here, camping out in a wet and soggy field nearby.  Actually folks she is safe and dry in a beaut caravan.  Owner is to meet up with her after WORK!  yes I said Work!!  Owner managed to do something right and is off to the same school this aft.  just keep smiling I said and take the money at the end of the week!!  Oh and wear what you had on yesterdee.  None of this fancy dress competition.  But she didn't hear me above dashing out to the shops for more supplies.  Plus I shouted after her, it will all be so good for your figure!!  Well perhaps not the meal out at the local Italian tonight eh!! She loves it.

More to play for para.  now some of you out there all enjoying the scenery and thinking ooh I wish I was there are demanding more photees.  I never was one to disappoint so Worcester in all its glory:
Here it is!  The cathedral in some of its glory.  it is every bit as good as the Notre Dame says Owner and that is saying a lot as she loved it in pesky Paris.  Next up:
More of that river and my faves, the swans in the distance.  if you love swans like I do then this the river to visit and walk alongside.  How peaceful and relaxing it was droned Owner I mean said Owner!!  Finally we have another shot of the cathedral:
This is just next to the archway to go inside.  It was magnificent according to Owner who has been to a few of these good cathedrals in her time, and the bells ringing and the choir singing oh and get this.  Owner lit a candle and said a prayer but cannot say who for as this is the secret of all prayers.  They will not work if you say it out loud.  OH I said all interested.  Then reports Owner, she goes into this side chapel with her cousin and this has wooden screens and writings that all make sense.  Like, she goes, the wide gate and the easy road is tempting BUT the narrow gate and the hard road is the one to tread.  Well I chirped up (like it) you've certainly gone in that direction so far!  if there is a hard and complicated, and difficult way to do it, then I'm proud to say Owner has done it.  I love it.
Final play misty for me para.  It is now proper Autumn and we like it.  Ruggles was all tucked up in the shed last night, on his heated pad.  He even has a little blue catnip mousey in there.  has he played with it though I asked Owner on one of her many trips back and forth.  NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE she says.  You know I am a slave to mine.  Now last night we coped with Corrie X 2 and kylie is on Max's drugs and David has found out.  He has turned into a fair minded adult and we don't know how.  All the evilness went to his bruv Nick.  In Enders Shazzer seemed to get married to Fil despite all of the square uniting to prevent especially off his head Ian.  Shirlee was lurking and may have been poised to wreak revenge (OOOH) we are not sure.  Tonight I can relax and put my feet up as Owner will be out on the town and I love it.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x

Monday, 29 September 2014

Get a move on Mundee

Wonka here.  First thing to do, is to show a few photees of where Owner went.  She climbed a massive hill called Clent hill and today reports her legs are aching.  RIGHT I goes.  She went to Worcester and along the river bank which she thinks may be the Severn but don't bet on it because her geography is shocking.  And, listen up, you know how I love a bird.  Well this was a SWAN SANCTUARY.  First photee:
There they are! all nestling up to the side of the riverbank.  Owner trotted along with her cousin, and next they went in the Cathedral:
There it is poking up behind those trees, and all the time the bells were ringing!  It used to be a Benedictine Monastery and has been there for over a thousand years reports Owner, who went down the crypt!  OOH I goes, I bet that was spooky.  Not with all the lights on, she says back.  And finally, here is a little stone dog who lays at the bottom of his mistress's feet for eternity.  I love it.

There he is!  or maybe a she.  Owner thinks if she ever got an effigy made which is highly unlikely as she will never be (list) 1.  famous enough 2.  Rich enough 3.  Married or shacked up with someone who misses her that much when she pops off to have a marble effigy cast with possibly me at the bottom.  We have ruled it all out.  But, we could be surprised.  We love it.
Get a move on para.  Blow me down if the hand of the employment god didn't reach down and tell Owner to get back out there!!  yes a phone call to summons Owner to a new school with bigger little people in it.  This spurred her into action as she was in danger of relaxing and taking things slowly.  She got changed at the last minute and I did say you need to plan in plenty of time Owner for what you are wearing as we all know you might not like it.  Did she listen up? Did she heck.  She dashed out at 1pm wearing what she had on in the first place to arrive at the new placement in time.  it is fair to say she did not swear at anyone, not that they could see, and was borderline speeding.  When she fell back in at four I did ask her how it went after she got all the soggy washing in off the line that had been bone dry up to the last twenty mins when it poured down.  THEY ALL PLAYED UP she reported to me sipping a builders tea.  AND I LOVED IT.
Final get a move on para.  Last night as you know was a mite fraught due to the dread internet which we are connected to until an internet imp gets a hold of it and starts shaking it up and messing about with it.  Then you lose your password your user name, your security user password name and anything else that connects YOU to the world wide web thing.  Bring back good and honest communications I moaned but she wasn't listening above beating out an email.  We did watch a little bit of the hex factor bootcamp thing and some of them got to sit down and this meant they go to JUDGES HOUSES.  blimey.  And then they get judged again and if they get chosen they get judged again.  it coud be called the JUDGE Factor I suggested up but Owner was too busy linking into Downton Abbey where they are all thieves and murderers (staff) having babies left right and centre (gentry) and having weekends away.  Now tonight we must catch up with Corrie and Enders as the last we knew evil Jim in the clink was going to 'let Peetah off', YES and in enders, Peggy who was in sunny spain or somewhere was ordering roxie or foxy to SORT IT.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Silly old Sundee

Wonka here.  OWNER RETURNS!!  We know she is back because she has been a whirling dervish ever since she set foot.  YES I had a big cuddle, yes so did Bertie although he doesn't really understand a cuddle and then it started.  Brushing up here, changing that there, kettle boiling the other.  OH now it is a glass of red because she says she is exhausted and stressed out. Already?  I goes, so soon?  it is all down to the internet (or lack of it) Owner had to spend a long time on the phone with a stranger (always a fretful thing) trying to re connect to something she thought she was already connected to.  IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE she kept repeating, well of course I kept out of the way and for once get why Bertie stops in the Narnia cupboard all day long.  Eventually after what seemed an eternity and I daren't worry over the phone bill does Owner come off the phone.
YES I am reconnected she shouts up and NO I DON'T want a new router or fibres or coloured things or ANY OF IT!!

This, good folks out there means Owner is well and truly home and I love it!!

Silly old Sundee cartoon.  All we have to show you is a little carton of Owner and her Cousin enjoying just one of the things they got up to, which was looking at old photees,  They loved it.

There they are!! There to the left is May, cousin's dog who is a collie and very flighty says Owner who is next and then there is good cousin.  it all went very well and the family history is in full swing washed down with plenty of vino.  they loved it.

Final silly sundee stuff.  Tomorrow there will be a proper diary that reports up on Owner's jouney (excellent except for coming off on the wrong exit off the M62 coming home - don't ask I shouldn't have) the actual weekend (blissful and wants to go back- I know!!) and most importantly what went wrong with Claudia thingy and Tess wotsit on Strictly????  Owner can't stop going on about it.  She has mentioned a bright prink dress and the words BIG MISTAKE I even thought she said bring back Brucie but I could have been mistaken surely??  The hex factor was like Macbeth gone wrong with wringing of hands, tears and chairs.  six chairs and more than six people to sit on them.  We are to be glued to it tonight come what may!!!  now the new week is here yet again and friends are coming to visit. We have never been so excited really and I wonder how to keep Owner calm.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big love Wonka X

Friday, 26 September 2014

Bon voyage Fridee!

Wonka here.

This is how we all shake down at the mo:  on the inside there is me and Bertie Bubb (he is disappearing into his Narnia Cupboard on the left there).  I am up front with Owner behind me and outside there is good Ruggles and Tinkers!  thought you might like this little cartoon update while we have a weensy break.  it is a beauty morning out there and she is singing away!!

                     Back Sundee folks..................

Til then GO STEADY!  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 25 September 2014

In tune Thursdee

Wonka here.  At last a dream.  I DREAMT she mumbles up this morning, I WAS in this house, my house, which for once she reports up, was fairly normal.  MEANING?  I questioned up, being now wide awake and starving for my breakfast.  I even staved off biting Owner's foot while she was rambling on.  THEN, she says, I was late and moving at a snail's pace.  DID YOU make it, I wondered.  JUST.  And then while she was getting changed and wearing the wrong clothes and having to get changed again she noticed it.  WHAT I said, a tad impatient but I got away with it.  All these floorboards were up and there was like another house down below.  BLIMEY, as if we haven't enough on with this one!!  I love it.

Fresh and harmonious para.  Somehow between falling asleep and waking up, Owner's mood has gone all mild and mellow.  I hardly had time to say it is nearly your weekend away day when she put on a washing and even though it didn't start first off and needed careful prodding on that pesky switch, she still wasn't annoyed!!  Praise be I goes up.  LA LA LA she goes, singing away to the radio, I tell you good folk out there all enjoying calm and gentle lives, it is quite unnerving.  Now more good news on the catflap front.  After much debating and mulling it round til I thought I would go funny Owner made the giant decision to remove the pink plastic peg from the catflap door!!  This means she was on tenterhooks (like it) to see if both Ruggles and Tinkers could figure it out.  YES saints be praised and everything.  There he was this morning, our teddy bear Ruggles looking all surprised to see the shed door swinging open as he thought it could only be entered by the hole in the door now.  We love him.

Fresh and fully tuned up para.  For our good cartoon there is a little glimpse of why Owner stayed up til the ungodlyhour of 10 pm last night.
There is the reason why!!  it is that Extra Slice prog, where Jo Brand who Owner did draw but then her face went wrong so she had to miss her off altogether (sorry Jo Brand!!)  And there in the middle sandwiched between a hairy biker and a comedian we have never heard of who worked his sox off being funny, was our Marian Keyes.  She was a picture in purple.   Would we stay up again?  Owner says not, as it was simply not punchy enough.  Hmm.  We love it.
Final harmonious para.   All day long Owner has been 'preparing'.  Are we all sorted I asked up eventually, having just woken up from a giant zzzzzz.  The car with no name is petrolled up and I have lots of sweets for the journey she says.  The ROUTE PLANNER has been re looked at and will go in said car tomorrow.  If I do it tonight, she says, people will think it is funny.  I don't see anyone laughing round here, or stopping long enough in the motorway stroke street to laugh at anything but no matter.  Now Owner is actually watching a film.  NO it is not Frozen (I am hopeful) it is a violent film with a baddie turned goodie we think.  With a title of 'Machine Gun Preacher' I dare say the story is laid bare already (very clever, pleased with myself for that one).  Now if we have time we must watch Enders as Shazzer is ready to get hitched to Fil and it is bound to end in trouble.  Other than that we must continue staying calm and nice to each other (except for Bertie although I do try.)I shall pop on a small report tomorrow folks but we shall have a little break until Sundee.  If like me you are looking forward to a peaceful time of it whilst your Owners are off having fun, then go all out! But, do go steady folks out there in the Wold, wherever you are in it. big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Is it Fridee yet Wednesdee

Wonka here.  slept in nicely.  Dreams?  all wisped away.  Me?  thanks for asking, I spent the night on my giant nest aka the spare bed.  Why? you all gasp up, did you settle in there?  I have just noticed there are too many question marks so far into this blog and I am sorry about that.  I do like to spread myself about and I noticed earlier on that the bed was freshly made (ready for my Aunty) with a nice smelling pilly case on it.  Owner does put these on the nests I mean beds, to encourage us to lay on them, and we do!! I love it.

Fresh not Fridee yet para.  Owner is preparing away, with a bag here a list there, and if she has studied the route once I think she could give a lecture on it to those pesky United nations people.  The car with no name is looking very pleased with itself and smart.  I have spied on it across the motorway stroke street.  One of the jobs, I says to Owner, must have been two new tyres....YES she goes back, that was the first job he mentioned (Craig) when he said it needs 2 x lsjgtgkh's as the kfhgy is worn down.  Without more ado and with a slight fanfare TADAHHHHHH here is today's good cartoon of said car going into said garage!
There it is!  Owner is just dropping it off to the waiting mechanics, that is Craig and this nice young lady mechanic too.  to the right you will notice the leaves are now falling as yesterdee was officially the start of the autumn equinox!  I say.  Oh and our fave pretend Alsation dog is sitting on the back to cheer up drivers who get close up to Owner.  hopefully they cannot lip read and I have had a word with her about that.  I love it.
Fresh it is still today para.  Soon be Fridee I goes to her!  I must go out and get the rest of the shopping she declared up to me.  TAKE YOUR TIME I shouts after her but she didn't hear me above the clanking and clinking of the bag of glass for the recycling.  zzzzzzzzzzOH, there she is back.  Wonka, she moans up to me hauling all these bags in the good front door.  WHAT I says a tad annoyed as I have been woken from a deep and snuggly sleep.   THE GLASS RECYCLING BINS have all gone  And she knows they are all gone because she went round the usual three places for them.. At the last one she finally got out and read the notice - IT WAS MINISCULE Wonka she complained to me - anyhow the notice said in tiny writing that there are not going to be bins for glass and everyone is to use their blue bins.  zzzzzzzzzzzOH sorry Owner, I did listen.....so she had taken this big bag of glass all around town and back again only to have to put it all in the blue bin which was patiently sitting out back all the time!  I thought this was funny and I thought Bertie was chuckling from deep in his lair (the Narnia cupboard) but we managed to stop in time for Owner noticing.  AND TO CAP IT ALL she finishes off, aged parent was laughing at everything and making strange comments.  Now who does that remind me of........I love it.
Final it is still Wednesdee para.  Why we had to watch John Barrowman in this complicated new quiz show on Beeb two I dare not ask as I was still waiting for my tea time.  Ruggles was nicely in the delux shed for the night and when Owner last popped out there, who was on the other side of the flap but Tinkers!  We gave each other a start! goes Owner.  Last night we managed Enders which was all the more interesting because it really is a new Ben and everyone is shouting at him except Fil.  Shazzer is sposed to be marrying Fil but no one ever gets happily married in Enders.  Then it was Holbee and those mad Doctors and it even had a mad mother in it - I did say to Owner is this too close to home but she didn't hear me above checking out back for Ruggles or Tinkers,  Tonight it is the sanity of Corrie and we did hear a whisper that kev the mechanic is to come home and upset the applecart of Sally and Tim.  Not to mention madeh and thingy.  if Owner wants to watch the bad bake off she can.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Typical Tuesdee

Wonka here.  Up we all got and only one snooze too.  zzzzzzzzzzz OH It's take the car to the garage day goes Owner. That means zilch to Bertie bubb unless there is food in the sentence he just won't listen up.  If Owner had said It's take the SHEBA car to the garage, his little batwing ears would have stood on end.  Me?  I have to listen to whatever Owner is droning (sorry Owner!) on about as I need to report on it, advise on, hide from it or zzzzzzzzzzz on it.  I love it.

Fresh and typical as you like para. yes Tuesdees tend to be a tad nicer than a Mundee as it is now into the good week.  Owner did seem a bit more focussed and there is nothing like a good look at the accounts and our dwindling finances to bring everything into sharp focus!!!   That and the fact that we are now in Autumn folks.  yesterdee was full of sunshine and hope whilst today is colder and bleaker.  Ruggles was snuggled on down in his nest and Owner reports he shot into the luxury shed last night as fast as you like.  HE WENT A BIT GROWLEE she said to me as I was settling down in my amazon box.  Did he scratch your leg?  I bothered to ask in between bedding down.  NO she goes back.  I see that as a positive I don't know about you good folks out there all enjoying nice calm pets and such like.  We love it.

For today's typical and good cartoon we have Tinkers relaxing and loving Owner's steps out back.
There she is!  peeking round the top of Owner's best steps out back.  she is certainly a little Tinkerbelle.  of course We love her!!  and amazingly so does Ruggles. x
Further typical tales para.  Now we get down to the serious stuff of the day.  WE WILL RING YOU goes the mechanic called Craig (we do like that name.  and we still do....) to advise if the car needs any work doing.  When asked if she thought the car had any problems (not tissues as we have renamed issues as we don't like that word anymore) she came up with the Exhaust.  I mean I thought she was talking about herself there, but she was referring to the car with no name.  maybe I goes, it is catching!  But she didn't hear me above taking said phone call later on from Craig.  It passed the MOT (good news and this was after he replaced something Owner has never heard of) but unless you have these jobs done we would not advise driving it.........OH YES, goes Owner, making those faces that say CAN MY LIFE TURN THAT CORNER NOW....and it needs bvgbfmslh,, doing and the back hbksyelo (sounded like) and the Exhaust (Owner was right!!) lhujishs needs replacing.  it will need two new ldyhjdogg's and finally we advise having the fuel slfygksog.  OH YES says Owner with her head on the table.  and these were just the urgent jobs that could be done now.  There are other jobs that can be done next year if we are all still on this earth and driving.  Craig finally stopped advising on jobs that were mostly foreign sounding to Owner and came out with something she did understand.  And it will cost £******  .  the credit card practically jumped out of Owner's purse onto the table and snuggled up to the phone as she said ALRIGHT then.  Me?  in the nice dark corner at the side of the new bed settee.  Owner is to collect it later if Craig can get the part for the ifgbtdjst today.  it is a case of laugh or cry I said to her from the safety of the dark corner but she didn't hear me above making a good strong cuppa.  We love it.
Final what the heck and typical para.  Owner is not one to stay head in hands for long and the next minute had sorted out some £s from a long lost pension pot.  Will it save the day?  I hate to say it folks but me and Bertie are fine, Rug and Tinkers are doing alright so Owner needn't worry over us.  And she likes toast, she eats it all the time.  now last night we did watch Enders.  WHY? you all gasp up did you do that.  Staycee only made a couple of brief albeit (love that word I could scratch it to death) very annoying appearances as did Alfee and CAT - she turned up in ospital (they say it without the H) wrapped up like a mummy.  anyway the plot seems to be turning on Fil and Shazzer with Shirlee popping round and opening her raincoat to Fil which had him smiling but then he is whipped off to the garage by the boy with a bird's name Jay and guess who is standing there?  NO that is not it, It was Ben!! and not the old Ben or the Ben before that but a new Ben!!  And we knew it was him because he says hallo Dad to Fil, and he is still wearing glasses.  After that excitement, Corrie seemed quite tame.  Peetah is standing up or falling down to, nasty king of crime Jimeh, but Ken and Deidre are on the case.  Michael has got Gail wrapped round his little finger she is in lerve, and Roy has had a birfdee.  Tonight we must get on with more Enders now new Ben is in it, and then Holbee.  Owner is in full holidee mode now and the bag is being packed.  My Aunty is coming through and I am preparing for being spoilt spoilt and spoilt some more.  I love it.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it and specially if your car is being MOTd.  Big Love Wonka x

Monday, 22 September 2014

Mostly Mundee

Wonka here.  Now we are fast approaching Owner's weekend break and I have had to put up with a lot of information like EXITS and JUNCTIONS and how many roundabouts?  It looks pretty straightforward she goes to me.  I tell you folks out there even I could follow her instructions!  They are to be sellotaped to the side of the wheel where she can glance at them and it is all highlighted and wotnot.  SATNAV? I hear you all shout up from your delux cars!  We don't bother with modern stuff here, we have to consult maps, because Owner loves maps and then lists.  Yes this does mean Owner could easily miss an exit or get stuck going round and round a roundabout.  We love it.

Mostly para.  Because today has been a nearly alright day and Owner said MOSTLY Wonka, it has been OK.  For our early cartoon we have one of Owner planning said journey.
There it is!  the car with no name preparing itself for the journey ahead which is approx half of the Journey it went on to Tavistock and beyond.  Due to lots of looking at maps and suggested steps Owner is setting out on a different route.  OH I says, will it be a better one?  IT CANNOT BE WORSE she says, than going through a million roundabouts in Birmingham.  Right I says back.  I love it.
Mostly OK para.  the day wore on.  Owner said her hair was 'mostly alright' and what she was wearing 'mostly suited her'.  She supposed she had better go out to the shops and I saw her off mid morning.  I only chased Bertie Bubb a couple of times and he was 'mostly' OK about that.  On her return with at least 6 or 7 bags I noted 1.  she seemed in a mostly alright mood setting which I passed on to Bertie in case he wanted to come out of hiding.  he didn't. 2.  We will not run out of my fave pouches whilst she is off gallivanting. 3. There were two sacks of concrete aka cat litter so we won't run low on that either and 4.  she had treated herself to some new perfume courtesy of aged parent.  She said what did I want for my Birfdee and I said perfume is always good.  Owner says she only bought it because the young man (barely out of school) behind the counter said was I interested in it?  I said NO THANKS until I saw the name of it Wonka.  Which was? I prompted nicely up.... It was called GHOST.  OOer I went back.  According to Owner she liked the name first, the scent second and has never heard of who makes it in her life.  I feel like a ghost at the moment she says.  Invisible to the Wold.  How poetic of you I goes, before telling her that I was starving and Tinkers was outside on the steps all tucked up on the top, in the sunnyshine.  Has she adopted us?  not far off it.  We love it.
Final mostly alright para.  I have kept my chin up folks despite the vibrations coming over me from Owner who is still 'mostly' on this side of being ok.  Sufficient to the day I whispered up from behind the mountain of catfood but she didn't hear me above trotting out to water the tomato triffid which is still producing tomatoes for us!  Last night we loved the final arena auditions as some beaut singers sang their little hearts out.  And then folks it was Downton Abbey!  There was romance, there was a fire and there was a thwarted blackmail situation!!  With all that drama I don't know how we all settled but we did.  Tonight is our usual fare of Corrie X 2 and an early night.  If I need to witness mild hysteria I can always suggest that Owner watches Enders for 10 minutes and tries to link into all the murderers and head scarfs.  The car with no name is to go to the garage in the morning for its pre MOT.  I am bracing myself for Owner's nerves on this and can predict an MOT Tuesdee for you in advance......now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x


Sunday, 21 September 2014

Ceramic Sundee

Wonka here.  one minute there are lots of new folk joining us from one bit of the Wold (my geography is shocking.  sorry bits of the Wold) and the next they have all vanished.  WHERE, goes Owner, taking a small interest in this, ARE THEY NOW?  maybe I suggested, this good blog is not fascinating enough for them.  Wait a minute!!  This is my blog and I can blog if I want to, about anything.  THAT IS right goes Owner, that is the attitude and you need to GO ALL OUT.  I love it.

and to be different and attract all those missing folk back, here is an early cartoon which has nothing to do with ceramics and a lot to do with what aged parent has to say about Owner's hair. (Yesterdee)
There we are!!  Owner is sitting next to the bed where aged parent is residing in her new abode.  The  telly is on and as usual it is showing a good film that is never on when we want a good film. It had Maggie Smith and Judy Dench and this bloke who they were nursing in a bed.  he was Polish.
All was going fairly well even the bit where aged parent remembered Owner's birfdee, and then she ruined it by saying have you had your haircut and Owner goes YES expecting something nice to follow.  NOT!!  I love it and her hair is not sticking up too much today..

Fresh ceramics para.  hang on you all shout up, what is this new arty ceramic thingy?  Owner took it upon herself and despite her languid (new and brilliant word.) state, to travel over and see Daughter.  to this end (what another fab expression) we were up at the crack of dawn, well 7 am.  And guess who was tucked up nicely in the luxury shed??  YES for once you got it right, it was teddy bear ruggles.  Now last night he gave Owner a little scratch on the back of her leg, for nothing.  RUGGLES! says Owner in surprise (and we think that now tops the list for most surprising thing of the day, yesterdee).  We are blaming it on his ears which do trouble him although Owner says she was nowhere near them.  I did say you cannot expect a rough and ready cat to turn into the likes of me Owner, but she didn't hear me whispering through the dining room door.  We love him, still.

More on the ceramics sorry Para.  yes so when Owner finally flings off out, I settled nicely and Bertie bubb hung upside down or whatever he does in the Narnia cupboard.  it seemed like 2 seconds later that she was back with 5 or 6 bags more than when she started.  IT IS JUST FOOD AND PRESENTS says Owner before I can have a proper check.  And it was just food because moments later me and Bertie were eating it.  The gifts were a beaut jacket and another pair of pink sandals as Owner hasn't got enough.  But here is the best bit, as Owner reports that daughter has created all these new ceramics, miniature amulets and tiles to go on show!   Owner is extremely proud and says once she gets some nice photees we will show them on here!  and I am pleased to say there will be some birds to look at as I do favour a bird.  I love them.

Final ceramics are good para.  Last night we loved the singing, and some of the singers could sing.  Ben is one such, and Chloe is another.  and a lass called Kerryanne.  the one we don't like and neither did Cheryl is Rain.  GO AWAY shouts Owner at the telly.  She really should not have gone out yesterdee folks and I do apologise if you ran into her.  today is a mite calmer and we shall settle down for more arena auditions and good Downton Abbey is back!  This is our fave upstairs downstairs drama and all we are missing is the servants!!  only joking Owner!  Now the new week is upon us and Owner will keep going on about not having a job zzzzzzz, going away for the weekend zzzz and the car with no name is going for a PRE MOT.  an offering to the wishing well I think folks.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it and just to let you know it is international peace day!  So BIG LOVE and PEACE Wonka x

Saturday, 20 September 2014

Surprising Satdee

Wonka here.  A very late start and guess who was waiting outside on the steps??  YES it was Tinkers.  so this is the first surprise of the day good folks.  ou est Ruggles you all want to know and so does Owner.  has he got a new hidey hole now that the luxury shed has gone luxury??  THAT SUMS UP MY LIFE she moans up.  Like?  I said doing that annoying prompting thing to her.  The minute I get everything just so it all changes!!  We love it.

Fresh surprising para.  Yesterdee, (there is a song there and I am not going to sing it.  alright then 'all my troubles seemed so far awaaaaaay!') yesterdee folks, the postie did not deliver a package through the door.  On the little note that was pushed through the snappy old letterbox, it said NOT ENOUGH POSTAGE.  Oh says Owner.  What is it I goes, and who sent it?  This folks is another surprise in waiting.  The last time, Owner confides (Like it) in me, there was not enough postage on and I had to drive miles to the delivery office in the middle of nowhere zzzzzzzzzzzz OH sorry I am listening!!  yes she goes, I pays the money and it was a packet of lightbulbs.  I mean even I can see how disappointing this it.   As soon as she is ready and it really is taking hours this good morn, she will fling off and start the rounds of the day and the post office is first up.  I love it.

Fresh how many surprises para.  here is another contender for the surprise of the day slot as I am now calling it.  As Owner was trudging to the luxury shed to feed Tinkers in it and moaning about the drear and drizzle mizzle day she looks down and spies one single bloom, peeping out from the triffid tomato plant!!
There it is!! a single Poppy.  Owner planted about a million seeds and guess what?  no that is not it.  The snails, that is what guess what, slid along and munched away so this surviving poppy has made it through!!  what are the odds I wonder..... we love it and it may win our surprise of the day contest.  we shall see!
Worn out with surprises para.  Well?? I goes to Owner when she stumbles back in.  it was a birfdee card which should have had a BIG LETTER STAMP on it.  Bring back the old days good folks, when it was either a first or second class to pick from.  Owner says that now they have a pretend post box to see if your letter will fit through it.  Does our postman know I ventured up?  has he heard of this thing.  When he puts out post through the letterbox it sounds like the invasion of pesky Vikings I have been dreading.  SO I HAD TO PAY FOR MY OWN CARD continued Owner.  I tried hard to be sympathetic because I was starving and even Bertie came out of hiding.  Good visit I prompted up?  Aged parent told me my hair was sticking up she reports.  Good folks it is sticking up, even I know that, but would I point it out?  Not on your nelly!!  Good swim? this other swimmer got on my nerves she replied.  you understand I ended the questions there and lined up for my tea time.  I love it.
Final surprising para.  Last night Owner popped out to her group so we missed good Corrie - not to fear as we can catch up with this before tonight's offering of entertainment.  yes it is the Hex Factor so we can get ready for tears (from Cheryl our new fave judge) something he calls honesty from Simon Ghoul I mean Cowell and the other two might have their tuppence worth.  It is the arena auditions and they are singing their hearts out!  those that can sing.   Casualtee is missing doc Zoe who as you know has turned up on Strictly (nxt Weekend!!) so the back stabbing Connie is missing a back.  What you all wonder won top prize for being surprising.  Owner losing it at the baths NOT surprising.  Having to buy her own card NOT overly surprising.  So the poppy does win the day.  Ruggles is yet to put in an appearance and Owner thinks it will tally with 1.  her tea time 2.  whatever she is glued to on the telly.  I love it me.  Now do go steady out there in the Wold folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 19 September 2014

Friendly Fridee

Wonka here.  At last we have all woken up ALRIGHT and when we popped the radio on to listen to Christophe Evans GOOD NEWS....bonny Scotland is still a part of the United Kingdom!  I mean I am happy about this as who knows I may have Scottish ancestry and as for Bertie, he might too what with his instinct for survival in joining this household.  And Owner as we know, used to be latched onto a Scot, a Glaswegian, so she has fond links well fondish then... in short, the referendum has shown us that people still want to have their say!  And we love it.
There we are listening up me and Owner, and there to the right is our best purple kettle and next to it our good radio cassette player.  To the left is the tea caddy and in front the tray with a nice cuppa for Owner. SCOTLAND HAS VOTED TO STAY!  We loved it.
Friendly para.  It has been a smiling friendly day all round with Owner firmly back onto Happy setting.  I am going out to spend my vouchers she announced to me first thing.  No one dear folks is happier than me when the word voucher is mentioned, as it means NO MONEY is being spent and now we don't have any money to speak of because no one wants Owner to work at anything then VOUCHERS are us.  I might get some socks she said.  RIGHTO I goes back trying to get some much needed shut eye.  While Owner is in dreamy land having all these strange dreams, I am busy checking out back, checking on Growler I mean Bertie and generally guarding the household against pesky invaders.  Finally she flung off out with the vouchers.  I did say to her they are no good propped against Percy donkey stroke pony ornament on the table are they??  Thankyou Wonka!  Without me to organise and such like who knows....I love it.
More friendly things para.  So I was in the queue Wonka...zzzzzzzzzzz OH YES, and this woman turns to me and says do you have one of these and I says no what is it, and it is a 20% off voucher!!  That meant I got it all for the gift vouchers!!  That Guardian Angel is really working overtime for us and between that and the wishing well, we might just make it.  meanwhile, Ruggles and Tinkers were on the doorstep saying they were starving.  Me?  thanks for asking and it was Ok as Owner fed me first then Bertie then those two out back.  I love it.
Final friendly para. last night we bumbled along watching a bit of what lies beneath Stonehenge.  for some reason what should have been a riveting programme passed us by with Owner going what another skull, and why are we looking at maps and primitive people in the bushes.  then it was supper time and an early night.  For Owner and Bertie bubb not me though.  Tonight Owner is off to her creative group thing and will be reading something to the audience.  HECK I goes.  I KNOW she goes back.  We have got by the what shall I wear and does my hair look alright shall I wash it (again) ceremony and are on with IS THAT THE TIME.  I can relax either on my giant nest aka the new bed settee or my best box in the whole world.  We can catch up with Corrie on your return I says to her as she is whizzing round doing stuff.  We have fallen out with Enders so do not need to miss it catch up with it or watch it.  Now we are up to the Weekend good folks out there all ready for a break so an extra do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it to you!  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Trusty Thursdee

Wonka here.  bonjour, good day, howdy folks out there all enjoying better weather than us.  For the fourth day running it is mizzle drizzle fog and grey. No wonder Owner is losing her motivation.  last night she battened down the hatches, and had even battened down the little black dog, preparing for the peace and quiet of upstairs.   A good book to read (she is still in love with The Goldfinch and cannot put it down) and me nestling nicely (I do try!) and Bertie bubb growling his way along the side of the bed.  he does like a good growl in advance that Bertie.  so all was going fairly well UNTIL...do di di do do DAAAAAHHHH.
There it is!  The leaking radiator! And just underneath are Owner's best pink slippers and some books.   Owner looks at the floor near the radiator which is soaking wet and goes WHAT IS THAT WET PATCH Wonka!  I mean how should I know!  then she spies a drip drip drip coming out of this miniscule pipe.  yes it is the radiator and NO we didn't know why. Jugs and towels later we are ready for a night's sleep.  I just want things to go right moans up Owner.  me too I says.  I love it. not.
Trusty para.   In the morning for reasons best known to itself the pipe, the leak was over.  it had stopped.  You see, I goes up, you just need to TRUST more.  but she didn't hear me above stabbing at that start button on the new washing machine which is so sensitive it may change if you breath on it.  So today we are taking it all very steady with no sudden moves, just a little venture to the corner shop where they don't sell (not too many) non essentials.  One good thing has happened so far today though.  What the heck could it be you all shout up taking your heads out of your hands!!  Owner is cracking on with our new story for Halloween.  It should be on www.smashwords.com at least a week before the end of October and will be called Wonka's Halloween Story.  it has illustrations (yes I have let Owner pop a few in the story to liven it up).  Finally, it is a proper ghosty story!! we love it.
More to trust in Para.  Here follows two bits of good news are you ready??  first off Owner has won a prize in the Battersea dogs home (for all animals really) raffle!!!  OOOH.  it is vouchers to spend in good old M & S (not just any old clothes and Owner reports seeing some racy adverts for menswear. I say.) which is going to help out our finances.  The second bit of good news is that as a result of Owner's fraught phone call to do with money (what else?) yesterdee, there is a giant reduction in the bill she was questioning.  HURRAH today!  The power of negotiation (big word but worth it) folks out there paying through the teeth (must not mention teef as it winds Owner up.  got new dentist but now she is wondering should she go back to the old one.  Another dilemma for Owner to mash over or gnash over).  We love it.
Final trust it will be alright para.  so we are heading for a more positive evening as long as the radiators, washing machines, and life in general stays steady.  last night we got through Corrie and Peetah is in deep trouble with Jim who is running the entire prison underworld.  yes.  the dog,, Rascal or raggles or something like it, is safe with Madeh and thingy for now, and Amy (Tracee's daughter) is training up to be a mini nightmare of a child.  After that we watched our fave Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai.  Owner wants to go there but I said the credit card is not up to it and she will have to win a really big raffle, or, do what we usually do and ask the wishing well.  We love it.  tonight we are beholden to nothing.  A big fat nothing is on the telly.. At last I may be able to watch my Frozen!!!  I think, says Owner, we will have to watch one of my films.  She has taken two aspirin in readiness for a cold she thinks is coming.   No wonder, she moans up, I feel so desperate!  And listen to this good folks out there all in your own social whirls, Owner may go out tmro eve to her new creative group thingy wotsit!!  All to play for if we just calm down and trust.  Me?  ever so well thank you and just watched Ruggles go back over the motorway stroke street safely.  Referendum?  What referendum.....all be over tomorrow those pesky Scots!!   Now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Melt down Wednesdee

Wonka here.  peaceful night and only one mysterious dream to report up.  Owner says her neighbour (good) from across the way was sitting in the room with her (this has never to our knowledge happened) unpacking some books that had been left to him.  OH I goes, nearly dropping back off with excitement zzzzzzzzz OH!  One of them, she says, was this big art book and she says OH I'll have that for my daughter.  Yes?  I said, Then What??  It was by one of those surrealist out there chaps she says and for some reason I called him Gaga.  but I think I meant Dada.  Or, she goes, was it Gauguin? (??)  I had dropped off by this time and when I came back to I did say but you hate that Gaga singer person and you leap to the radio to turn it off if she comes on it, but she didn't hear me above putting the steam engine aka kettle on to boil.  I love it.

melt down day para.  I thought, you all say being so clever clogs out there in the wold, that yesterdee was the bluesday day.  It was good folks but when that wily old black dog is creeping up you never know when he is going to rear up properly.  Well today he has reared up and I have my work cut out I can tell you.  First off, this is Owner's cartoon impression of said black dog.  you will all go AHH what a lovely little thing!
There he is!!  he first appeared as you might know in a dream to Owner, and every now and then he pops up either lurking by her heels or demanding a bit more attention.  to let you good folks out there know also if you didn't, the black dog was made famous by none other that Sir Winston Churchill who used to get very down and this is what he called it!  We sort of love him and the main thing is according to Owner, if you try and ignore him or pretend he is not there, he will come back larger and noisier!! 
Barking and woofing para.   Yes there it was laying in wait and first thing to set Owner off was a look at one of her applications to save us from starving.  UNSUCCESSFUL it goes against the application update when she clicks on it.  This was followed up by a phone call about money.  You can all guess how that went.  As soon as I heard the rustle of millions of bits of paper and she was in that Narnia cupboard did I dive upstairs!!  What can we do to save the day?  Best not to mention referendums as this is getting on Owner's nerves and I did suggest a nice Disney film like Frozen (I am still waiting to see it folks) or even our best fave Zulu as this is our top surviving film ever.....I AM GOING OUT she says to me.  I did shout Take your time Owner and that me and Bertie will be fine don't worry about us, or Rug, or Tinkers, but she didn't hear me above checking the front door was shut.  I love her.
Small melt down para.  Back she steps and short of holding knives and forks up what were to do!!  I was starving and Bertie was born starving and there on the step saying he was starving was teddy bear ruggles!!  I checked the bags for non essential luxury purchases and guess what?  DE RIEN!  NOTHING! ZILCH.  I would have checked her temperature but I was busy eating my tea.  Visits to aged parent and aged sibling??  All passed by peacefully.  Again, she must be coming down with something.  As long as we have plenty of supplies in I won't worry.  I love it.
Final little black dog para.  Is he still there you all shout up?  Like I said, it is no good pretending he is not there when he is.  He is sort of hanging about but Owner did pick up a bit when she got a result over a money matter.  This is just the kind of result we need Wonka, she goes to me earlier on.  Again, as long as we are not starving overmuch I cannot grumble.  last night we struggled through with Holbee City and a rather manic trainee Doctor who is being propped up by her Dad who happens to run the whole shebang and Hospital.  That would help anyone really, but I mustn't go on about Dads and such like as this may set Owner off on an extreme feeling sorry for itself jag. (how she hasn't got a Dad to sort things out etc.  I know! it's that little black dog you see).  so tonight we are to be cheered up by Corrie and prison malarkys and Tyrone and Jason squabbles and how can we possibly feel sorry for bad boy Todd?  And then there is Gail and Michael all lovey dovey and in danger of getting on Owner's remaining nerve.  BUT, we can choose between the bad bake off or, that gorgeous out of this Wold Taj Mahal Hotel (in India - we love it) on Beeb 2.  Whatever makes Owner smile is going straight on the telly.  Another small but positive piece of news is that we have entered a raffle.  Not just any raffle, but a Marian Keyes raffle!  The prize is ace and can we win it please.  Perhaps a little offering into the Wishing Well....  Now do go steady folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Now what Tuesdee

Wonka here.  that's right we are having an OH WHAT NOW day here.  I didn't help by having a mini scrap with Bertie deep in the night but how was I to know he wasn't a monster sitting there in the dark?? You cannot be too careful these days, and I have warned Owner against flinging open the front door without checking first.  I jump up to the side bay window and give these monsters pretending to be ordinary people a good hard stare.  There is a lot to be said for it.  I AM TRYING says Owner who is having a bluesday.  No we do not love it.
There she is!  to the left is all the happy go lucky birfdees and holidees and such like and there is Bertie Bub hiding behind her legs with me up front and looking gorgeous and to the right is the UNKNOWN factor.  all these golden possibilities just laying around waiting for Owner to spot them!  We love it.
Fresh bluesday para.  What next you all shout up wanting a solution.  Owner scuffled round doing a little bit of this and that and looking miserable.  I FEEL LIKE THE WEATHER she mumbled which alright is grey and misty and pretty bleuuuughh but this is no excuse and I have told her to look at the positives!! (list) 1.She looks alright.  Better than alright. 2. she could ring the agency up about that job she has turned her nose up at. 3. tomorrow might be alright. 4.  today could still pick its sorry self up and be alright.  I AM GOING OUT she said, TO BE ALRIGHT OUTSIDE.  yes I am thinking about the poor little credit card tucked away but she may be sensible.  I said may.  I love it.
Next sorry old para.  a million of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz later back she comes.  YES there was a bag with some jeans in it.  YES they fit this time and YES she cannot afford them.  but listen to this, Owner has moved ever so slightly towards that happy setting. Howcomes you all wonder up??  another holidee is planned and after that one she is on about a Christmas break.  Me?  thanks for enquiring (new expression which I like)...I expect I'll manage with all our Aunties coming to stay and wotnot.  Bertie is none the wiser and Ruggles will stay a la luxury shed on his heated pad with a dish full of delicacies.  What, is not to love and like?  but in the meantime if I can make Owner feel a teensy bit guilty about leaving me..........  I love it.
Final nearly over bluesday para.  More news.  Owner has confronted her lack of employment and rung the other second best agency up to let them know she is here and (sort of) willing to work.   Between that, the first best agency, the two job applications rattling round the internet then surely Owner's something will turn up??  until then we must watch telly.  Last night Owner was still on her birfdee setting and too excited to watch anything.  We caught glimpses of Corrie and Steve in prison with his Dad who is as canny as canny can be. Peetah brought back from the brink of alcoholic death is also still in the clink and has promised his cell mate to stay strong and sober.  yes.  other news is that Kylie is still chucking back Max's tablets though we haven't noticed she is any calmer, and Madeh and thingy are rescuing the dog for Simon.  No wonder we were not glued to it.  We tried Enders for 2 minutes until Staycee came into it.  The end.  Now tonight seeing as Owner needs cheering we have Holbee City and all dying or living or stabbing another doctor in the back.  That should do it for us nicely.  Tomorrow I shall have more to say on Owner's driving capabilities (Birmingham) and less to say about the Scottish referendum.  Rug has been for his teatime thankyou and continues to navigate (OOH) the catflap and we love him.  I even had a quick game of paw under the dining room door with him.  Now do go steady good folks out there in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Monday, 15 September 2014

Happi Birthdee Mundee

Wonka here.  yes it is that day come round again and first off there is a little birthdee cartoon to celebrate not just Owner's happi day but her good friend's too.
There we are!!  Owner shares this happi day with one of the fab four who she went off to Paris with.  There are cards and presents and the cake but guess what!  NO that is not it, Owner got up with a smile on her face and when she popped out to the luxury shed what did she see???  YES it was our best teddy bear Ruggles in his own nest!!  and that goes Owner IS THE BEST PRESENT!  it means dear folks out there thinking so what about Ruggles, that he has defied all modern inventions and got in and out of the cat flap!!  Did Tinkers lead the way?  perhaps.  We love it.
Happy Birthday para.  Hair?  gone right.  Weather?  overcast but does not matter.  What is to happen today?  good daughter is joining us soon and Owner is to collect at the station.  There are lots of nice things to eat and I have been told NOT TO JUMP ON THE TABLE Wonka!  ~As if!!  Plus the film.  it is Bad Neighbours and the blurb says 'funniest movie of the year'  We live in hope in this house.  and, I said to Owner, I hope that is not a premonition (we await the new neighbours still and have prayed solid on it, even the wishing well.  it wouldn't harm to throw another coin in though) but Owner didn't hear me above opening the cards.  I love it.
More happi day para.  Folks what a happy day has been had here. Owner reports a wish come true too.  Was it one dished out by the well I said.   YES she goes back.  No it is not a job although wait for it, one has been offered. Owner has dillied and dallied over whether to go for it.  Because?  I goes in that new and annoying way - perhaps even more annoying than saying 'AND??  Because it is a 'daily' job says she.  I mean I thought all jobs were daily but what does a poor cat like me know??  Just everything that is what.  presents?  oh yes, she has books and ornaments and boxes with Owls on and bags with more Owls on (I do love those Owls) and a jacket to follow.  And a painting of a cat called George painted by a boy called George.  This could be Owner's fave pressie.  The book may feature in our Sundee slot and I warn you it is a tearjerker without even opening the cover up.  yes it is about an animal.  yes it is a dog.  yes it is dog who helped humans.  Enough said.  She loves it.
Final Birfdee para.  Owner says this has been such a happy day and even her stars via good radio 2 sounded positive.  They were on about connections and Venus and such.  OH I says back.  No one has hardly mentioned the Scottish referendum and we are not going to either.  last night we made it through the Hex Factor Arena auditions and there were two chaps we fell in love with.  One of them can sing and he is Andrea from Rome (yes that is Owner's next holidee destination for sure) and one of them made us laugh he was called Stevi).  another chap with a name like a bird (that's why I recall him) made all cry.  but not us.  tonight we have a double helping of Corrie and more twists and turns in the Tyrone saga.  Will Kylie tell the truth about the tablets though.  To her no good partner David?  we think not.  No owner is not painting the town red or any other colour, she is saving herself for Fridee.  Blimey I goes, you're never going off out again.  I AM TOO she said back.  I love it.  One small update on the film good folks out there all wondering whether to watch Bad Neighbours or not.  make it a NOT.  Owner says to daughter and I quote, is it me or is this film simply not funny.  We have got one tucked up our sleeve and it is Machine Gun preacher.  The blurb?  says it is SUPERB.  please let it be right.  Now do steady out there in the Wold good folks especially if you are sharing our Birfdee (many happies Prince Harry!!!)  Big Love Wonka x

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Surviving Sundee

Wonka here.  Who, you all gasp up, is surviving?  here follows list.  1.  we all survived an early start by a giant SLEEP IN.  Goodness! said Owner when she saw the clock!  Even Ruggles looked a bit put out, sitting on the good bench out back waiting for some brekkie.  2.  we survived a home delivery of cat food that had TWO REPLACEMENTS.  NO! says Owner to the nice delivery man, she goes WONKA WILL NOT EAT THAT!  I must say that all the other millions of trays and luxury cat food for Bertie Bubb and Rug and Tinkers (we shouldn't be encouraging her I have told Owner about this) no, that was FINE.  just mine wasn't right.  BUT Owner rejected the other sub standard cat food.  3. Owner has survived the bad hairdo and is deeply in love with the new hairdo and the hairdresser that did it.  I love him for saving the day.  and 4.  this is our bookslot offering and it is a surviving wooden horse.
There it is!!  Owner thought she had lost this book (childhood book folks, so I was prepared to get under that bed but NO, daughter had it all the time. breath easy.)  The author of this book is famous for more brilliant stories like Gobbolino the Witches Cat, but this one tells of the said wooden horse battling away and having adventures.  Even then, says Owner, I could not bear it if things went wrong.  Nothing, good folks out there, has changed.  I love it.
****************MORE BOOKSLOT NEWS OF THE WEEK NEWS**************
We have more illustrations to show you, and Owner says no wonder she is doing all her cartoons and such like today, she thinks she is inspired by people like this:
What beautiful illustrations by Peggy Fortnum and how brave this little horse is - if you have any little children around Owner thinks they will love this story lots.  just like she did reading under the covers with her magic lantern!  Wonka, she tells me, the lights went from normal to red and then green!  Sounds like a little traffic light to me I says, I love it.  And listen to this!!  Owner has now discovered in a stroke of synchronicity that this very author had written a book about both Gobbolino and the little wooden horse!!  in 1984 it seems.   Also, we have found out that Ursula did a lot of her own illustrations.  We love her even more said Owner.  
Fresh we will survive para.  What with getting up so late I have not had time to drag you through some Of Owner's fleeting dreams.  I was in this terrible building I think it was a Casino she says.  OH I goes back.  I was going round in circles and could not find the way out.  I asked people to help me and finally saw a doorway with stairs going down.  off I went and then THEN, it was surrounded by that wire fencing.  BLIMEY I said to this.  I tore a hole in the wire but even then there was another fence.  Did you get out I says.  Eventually, me and these others.  thank goodness I went back as all this being trapped and escaping business quite wore me out.  I did say is it time to get off out and get the right cat food, but she didn't hear me above saying I MUST GET A MOVE ON Wonka.  I love it.
Finalish survive it all para.  Owner returned with some non essentials BUT because it is her birfdee tmro I am going to look past it. and give it a TICK.  What, you all wonder up did she buy??  first off she had to have some new nail varnish TICK and then she had to have two of those fragrant and banishing all other smells (especially Bertie's) candles.  TICK.  serviettes TICK I especially like them because they have birds on (owls) and you all know how much I love  bird so TICK.  She managed not to buy a new mug.  IT WAS THE SAME AS ONE I ALREADY HAVE she tells me.  And?  I says in that new and annoying way.  I think they had a light shining on the cups to make them look better than they are she goes, plus (and this was the decider) I DON'T NEED A NEW MUG.  Was I proud good folks out there or was I proud.  Now tonight we are faced with more of the hex factor which very slightly got on our nerves.  This was due to the contrived singing of some of them who then got through, whilst, some of the real singers didn't!  of course we will be glued to it tonight.  No question..  I think it is down to exactly this kind of non thought provoking telly that helps Owner sleep at night.  Before I leave you good folks to get on with your Sundee countdown to the next week ahead I have a shred of good news.  TINKERS IS GETTING IN AND OUT OF THE CAT FLAP with a peg in it to signal it is a WAY IN!!  so there we end on a good surviving note.  All about surviving change and if only Owner can find a way to survive not working and being poverty stricken I will Survive too!!!!  Only joking!!!  Now it is time for tea and all the checking I have to do (Bertie and Rug) so do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Lost Queens Satdee

Wonka here.  and welcome any new folks from around the Wold as I like to say.  Today, Owner reports a (quote) RUBBISH NIGHT'S KIP.   do you mean sleep Owner I said back, how am I to know that Kip = sleep?  I ask you.  I was busy checking on Bertie Bub so didn't notice that she was toss turn turn toss and ending up with two inches of proper sleep stroke kip.  We were up with the lark and the feeding frenzy started.  yes Ruggles was outside for breakfast.  We love him.

Blimey!! you all gasp up in wonderment and say WHO IS THAT??  We think it is the famous Egyptian Queen Nefertiti who bobbed around in 1370 bc.  Owner was watching this programme on BBC2 and it was all about famous lost queens and such like.  Nefertiti was renowned for her beauty and all sorts, yes.  Well while she was being fascinated she noticed this ornament (alright ashtray) that has been a family relic since she can remember.  I THINK WONKA, she tells me, IT WAS BROUGHT BACK FROM EGYPT.  For a moment there I thought Owner meant a Tomb!!!  It turns out she means a family holidee.  As Owner is pretty ancient, it has been with us a fair while...joking!!  anyhow we think it is SHE, Nefertiti.  Of course I am a big fan of the ancient Egyptians because they loved us felines.  worshipped us rather and that good folks out there is how it should be!  I love it.

 Beautiful Queens para.   Why I says to Owner, do you think those pesky ancient Egyptians are so fascinating. it is a wonder of the World said Owner, the great pyramid and then there is the sphinx, and then the wonderful hieroglyphics - do you think I ventured (get me) your cartoons are a modern equivalent??  NOW THERE'S A THOUGHT she says back.  it strikes me that all those little pictures and drawings telling us what is going on have something in common.  However, I have made it clear to Owner I do not want to end up as a stuffed Mummy when I trot off to the next room.  not when everyone else has their own little box  (beloved Baba is in the shed of course!)  I PROMISE she says to me.  No I didn't ask about Bertie.  I love it.

More lost queens para.  so today it won't harm to be lost in the mists of Egypt and those magical times especially if it takes Owner's mind off (list) 1.  doing the rounds (visits to aged parent and sibling) 2. sorting out the accounts (disaster city) 3. doing a food order online.  this has turned out to be an anxiety ridden task.  I did say bring back the corner shop when there were a couple of decent assistants behind the counter looking at you and talking to you whilst getting your shopping!  I know this is true because I have seen it in some old black and white films.   It is a topsy turvy world goes Owner hitting the SUBMIT button.  it only brought up ERROR a couple of times which gave me chance to rush upstairs.  I love it.

Final lost para.  After doing the rounds which went well reports Owner and aged parent liked her in pink.  I WORE IT SPECIALLY she said, and then before they could have a funny turn over aged parent's lack of communication skills (according to Owner) she sped off to the happy place to go for a swim.  Many there? I whispered up from under the table.  A LOT OF DADS WITH KIDS she says.  But, and this is the important thing, she managed to keep the fast lane all to herself.  I did say that stare would frighten anyone off from joining you but she didn't hear me above letting Ruggles in for his teatime.   Just think all you good folk out there, if Owner had been an ancient Egyptian, she would have been in a chariot kicking up a storm and organising the entire country to a standstill!  And there would no silly old referendums!  All for one and one for all would have been the battle cry!!  Wasn't that the Muskateers she questioned up?  You get the hieroglyphic though!  tonight we are glued to the Hex Factor and it is the ARENA!!  if those poor half decent singers can sell themselves to the crowd and get a thumbs up (see how we have moved from Egypt to Rome??!) they will go to boot camp!  more excitement.  Again, if it sorts out Owner's high anxiety setting then I love it too.  And on a final positive note, Owner has finally realised that it is not the new and best washer at fault it is her.  I WAS PAUSING IT Wonka, she explained INSTEAD OF STARTING IT.  Why they have to combine these two different actions in one tiny button defeats me, but at last Owner will no longer stab at the button and start shouting at the machine.  Today?  it started like a dream.  I love it.  Now do go steady out there good folks in the Wold wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Friday, 12 September 2014

Back to blonde Fridee

Wonka here.  Owner is up to the bit in her book where she does not want to put it down.  THIS IS THE SIGN OF A GOOD BOOK Wonka.  I was busy having a few zzzzzzzzzzand keeping an eye out for Bertie Bub who for reasons best known to his miniscule brain (sorry Bertie!) did not come upstairs all night.  Owner says it is because I had a teensy weensy scrap with him last night.  We all know that I am not a frightening kind of a cat I am just keeping Bertie in check.  In fact I have been kindly towards him all day and only poking my head round the Narnia cupboard door once or twice.  I love it.

Here we are!  Back to blonde indeed for Owner who loves the new hairdresser Graham to bits.  there  he is sorting out the BAD HAIRDO and transforming into a super doopah cut and colour.  I came out of hiding specially to say hello and a big THANKYOU for making Owner happy.  Now she can face anything (she says).  She loves it.
Back to gorgeous blonde para.  as soon as this had happened Owner sprang into action taking phone calls here and making phone calls there.  (list) 1.  the Wheelchair is now a PRIORITY and aged parent can look forward to being in it soon.  All the anxiety ridden questions were answered and I came out from behind the door to congratulate Owner on a successful call.  2.  a potentially (ooer) fraught phone call was made in near to calmness and cool.  it was about money which is always a hide under the bed or even get deep in the wardrobe matter.  But no!  even whilst leafing through a big batch of paper and going in the sideboard (danger zone.  klaxon sounding.  all the nasty bits of paper are in there) Owner looked and sounded reasonable.  I put it all down to the new hairdo.  I love it.
Final blondie para.  Owner finally pushed off out in search of 'BITS' for her birfdee.  this turned out to be a rather nice looking very choclitty cake and loads of nice foody things.  From that shop where it isn't just food it is da de dah food.  Any more non essential purchases you all wonder up.  NO!!  just a cardigan for aged parent.  Owner says she tried to buy some night wear but and I quote. I WOULDN'T GET BURIED IN IT she goes.  Surely I ventured (haven't said that lately) there was something.  Horrid colours, shapes and material she goes back.  It strikes me I says to all of this, that there may be a gap in the market but she didn't hear me above closing the dining room door to let Ruggles in.  Tinkers was in the delux shed this morning snuggled on his heated pad in HIS NEST.  We mustn't worry and fret about it says Owner, because the new pad arrived in the post.  That and a little present for Owner.  OOOH.  Exciting!  We love it.
Real final blondie para.  To round off all these positives, Owner has announced a breakthrough.  Tinkers managed to jump through the cat flap.  and get back out of it.  What, I says, about Ruggles.  WE'LL SEE, she says back.  Not that I know anything much but I thought the new delux shed was all about Ruggles......I LOVE THEM EQUALLY says Owner.  And we do.  sort of.  Now last night there was nothing but nothing on.  We ended up with the Invictus Games and were glad.  Our Prince Harry had nicked the idea from the U S of A and what a good idea it is too.  getting all our injured servicemen and women from around the Wold to compete in a big sports event.   We love him.   tonight we are hoping for Corrie x 2 and more on the bad Jason and good Tyrone story.  Will Steve's Mum Liz see through her new boyfriend though.  He is Jason's Dad and his name if we could remember it spells trouble.  yes.   Now the weekend is here and what a week.  Ups downs and hows your father.  We haven't mentioned the Scottish referendum and we are not going to.  Do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  Big Love Wonka x

Thursday, 11 September 2014

Consultation Thursdee

Wonka here.  Straight away I have to tell you it was not me it was Bertie.  In the night.  making all that noise which then woke Owner.  WONKA!! she shouts up.  How was I to know that it was Bertie popping downstairs in the deep of the night and not a tribe of Vikings??? or aliens specially since I watched Prometheus, that is my latest Monster.  it is top Monster.  Owner has admitted feeling the same and says we must not watch any horror films with mummy like creatures in them.  I mean we don't watch horror films, just those thrillers with lots of shocks and violence in them.  So when Bertie trolled by my amazon box where I was having a good zzzzzzzzzz no wonder it gave me a start!!  So we were all up and for once Owner took her own advice.  She put the light on and read a bit more of The Goldfinch.  She loves it.

There we are!  Owner has done a cartoon for us like a dolls house she had when little.  MY DAD MADE IT, she goes.  I am in the dining room guarding my amazon box and Bertie has made it to the top of the stairs.  Owner is now wide awake and telling me off (even though it was not my fault).  the living room is nice and quiet with no one at all in there doing anything and out back Ruggles is guarding the shed with or without a Tinkers in it.  It is called A TYPICAL SPAT IN THE NIGHT.  We do love it.

Fresh consultations para.  Without any more ado I must now talk about the highlight (Owner says this might be a pun I said OH) of today which is Owner's meet up with new hairdresser Graham!!!  for the consultation about her chopped to infinity (sorry Owner and sorry previous hairdresser) and lifeless over coloured thatch!!!  Can Graham deal with it??  Just before he arrived me and Owner were glued to the telly which I know is not unusual but this time it was for the news.  No not that news!  we are fed up with the sconny botland voting thing, this was news on a bigger scale (said Owner).   From over the other side of the Wold in fact.  Owner likes a good trial and this one has caught all our short attention spans and all have had their tuppence worth (to quote Owner on it).  The Judge in Owner's opinion, has summed up so well that even she could get a grip of it.  Blimey! I says to this.  and blow me down adjourned it until tomorrow.  right on cue did Graham turn up.  We love it.

Real consultation para.  It is official.  We love the new hairdresser and I even came out from under the table to say hallo.  Briefly.  Owner is to be transformed tomorrow so that will be two verdicts then!  I LOOK FORWARD says Owner, TO LOOKING NICE AGAIN.  We all know this is a cue for me to shout how lovely you do look all the time but I forgot as I was busy chasing a sunbeam.  Think of me tomorrow good folks out there all enjoying beaut hairdos, as I await the TRANSFORMATION.  And Owner has just said to me that the word consultation reminds her of the Dentist.  Which one I goes, the one you used to like or the one you haven't got yet??  I love it.
Fresh we love consultations para.  and another good thing is that Owner managed to pick up the phone and ring the good agency to remind them she is still here.  and wanting some work.  WELL DONE I goes.  As a reward for this, we are now glued to a film.  It is American Hustle and won lots of Oscars which means nothing declared Owner.  it says on it: 'BRILLIANT' and 'A THRILLING STAR-STUDDED FILM'.  I know.  Sometime says Owner you have to just take some time out and relax from the rat race.  I did say but you're not in the rat race Owner but she didn't hear me above pausing the film to get some snacks.  We love it.
Final consult away para.  we should have watched Zulu again for the nth time as that really is Brilliant.  Stanley thing and Michael Caine not to mention a full Welsh choir and millions of good Zulus on the mountain tops. (and not a Scottish person in sight!)  it beats any of those westerns into the ground says Owner.  What I goes, even ones with good Clint Eastwood in them?  I am a big fan of his.  I did say we should have watched Frozen but Owner insisted on trying the other one.  HANG ON! goes Owner checking the films on telly - there is Flight of the Phoenix on Film 4.  Another fave of Owner's where all land in the desert and have to survive.  I think Owner is fixated (good word) on survival type films and said as much but she said I was put out by not seeing Frozen.  OH I went back.  Tonight as per there is nothing on so we may well watch that film.  if not there is Enders and the increasingly silly storylines.  Whit is now staying in the square with her latest chap sorry but forgot his name, Carol's headscarf needs to make a comeback as her haircut is a disaster city (and we would know!) and Shirlee and Fil have been cuddling up.  I know.  Soon be tomorrow I said to Owner to cheer her on!  Good Ruggles is due round for some teatime and this morning he cleared up those special nice little biscuits that Owner gets for him.  He is a spoilt teddy bear Ruggles but I am letting him off, (but not Bertie).  now do go steady out there in the Wold good folks wherever you are in it.  big Love Wonka x