Saturday 9 December 2017

Wonka's Christmas Tips X

Howdy up FOLKS and a thousand sorries I am a tad late with this.
POURQUOI? or just plain WHY some of you raise your heads off the settee and ask me??? it is all Owner's fault for not helping me end of.  and I mean it.X
 
There we are!!! The first Christmassy tipperooni!!! Owner presented me and Ruggles with a mousey each and guess what? NO that is not it!! the mouses are in the very same place as when Owner unpacked them and said TADDAH!!  The same happened with my crinkly wind tunnel thing (it frightened me A LOT) and the same thing happened with my circular scratchy thing with some balls in it.  WE DID NOT PLAY WITH THEM!! so my best Christmas Tip is - stop buying all those fancy toys and just give us a cork, a cotton reel, a box (preferably from AMAZEN X)
 
 
Is Owner ready for Christmas? NYET, NON, or just plain not very.  She has been buying food for other people, she has written a list with one word on it folks and that is HARVEYs.  if there is no sherry in the house on Christmas Eve I am packing up and leaving on the next reindeer folks..............X
 
 
In other Christmas Tip news we wait nervously for the Christmas Radio Times, without which (like the Sherry) Christmas cannot be ok.  We HOPE for some good progs folks but tell you to buy it anyway as you can read it whilst NOT watching what is NOT on the tv.
 
 
Now this week, due to being later than late, I am cutting this good blog short.  There will be NO POLLYTICs (YIPPEE) and it is safe to say for my third Christmas Tip I tell you to avoid any mention of brexit for breakfast, lunch ,tea or suppee.  Bertrude know very well how to do this and will never JAMAIS support it, on toast or not.X
 
 
My final tiperooni is to READ MY Christmas Story!!  lo and behold did Owner receive out of the blue, a note from Henry.  WHO, you all shout up excited, is he?? HE, he tells us up is Owner's new marketing thingy.  and HE has replaced Casey.  (no need to ask who they are, they have left.  They did nothing DE RIEN for Owner and they are probably doing nothing wherever they are now.)  BUT Henry, he says he will do all he can to advertise our story!! We love him.  And here is said story.....x
 

 
 
There it is!! You can read it still for free (but without all those fab illustrations from Owner, on smashwords.com OR you could visit the shop in the sky Amazon, or just look for it in any good bookshop.  it is still one of my favourite stories folks and Owner is even now tweeting it on Twitter!! X
 
 
So folks I leave you with my best tip of all, and that is to keep enjoying yourselves whether it is reading, writing, drawing, BE CREATIVE and it will make you happi.  and I must rush as I need to check on Ruggles who keeps pinching the best hot spot by the rad!! Then I may pop up another level and check the level of biscuits in Bertrude's trough!!X
 
 
We are glued to Satdee night telly and thanks to the relentless love in for one of the Strictly Dahncers we are afraid to declare our love for any other of the rest!!  BUT we will and it is all of them as our fave has gone.........Davood we loved you and Nadiya we did!!X
 
 
Next week now take it steady, no bibbing your horns for no good reason (I did tell Owner off about this, in a whisper, from my best hidey...she assured me that she will never do it again at least til tomorrow....X) and keep warm!  Big Love Wonka X

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