Saturday 11 August 2018

Change of Plan!!

WHAT NOW WONKA! you all say to me worried and nervous and FOLKS! you want to be nervous as wait for it - (music rising to a ghastly crescendo.....violins in the background wailing and scraping....) OWNER's BEST HOLIDEE is cancelled.  There I have whispered it folks without Owner hearing me..........
WHAT HAPPENED WONKA? you all want to know, fearful that Owner's disappointment will rebound on ME and oh alright Ruggles.

As you recall folks Owner was very excited BACK IN FEBRUARY when she found a tour operator that did tours of the WW1 BATTLEFIELDS.......... as her best Great Uncle Percy Perry died there fighting for his King and country!! So she was rather looking forward to seeing his name on the world famous Menin Gate and standing there as the Last Post plays, which it does every evening folks, in Ypres or Wipers, where the gate is. so why is it all cancelled you wonder up in your droves, just why??
All because folks, despite Owner selecting her home town for the coach to collect her from AND drop her back off in four days's time - suddenly the coach will not come there!! NO, it must not pick Owner up because according to the robot aka customer service person - it would be 80 miles out of the way!!! Owner has taken it out on the plants and foliage folks, moving things at topspeed and weeping into a hankie BUT today we are moving forwards and something really important has helped us on!!

Owner's hair went right!!! XXX
 
There we are folks! just like the good old days when our roving hairdresser used to brave it and do Owner's hair!! Nowadays, she pops to the one in town 'Where you don't need an appointment' NO you just wait on a little chair until Kelsey is free to give you a nice hairdo that you won't hate when you get home................XXX
 
Now that Owner isn't going on THAT holidee, it begs the question of where she IS going to.  To see Daughter in the never Netherlands that's where!! it is Birfdee season coming up again, and Owner is having a big one, but first up is aged sibling THEN it is daughter and then Owner.XX
 
In other lesser news it has been the week from hell and we are blaming all those backward planets and eclipses.  DE RIEN has gone right up until Owner woke up and noted her hair had set itself in the night into a style that she liked.  I did say to Owner that perhaps it wasn't the hair that had changed but her perception of it (very proud of this insight which I may have read over Owner's shoulder in one of her books.X) - but I whispered it from my new hidey. I FEEL MORE LIKE IT TODAY she droned to me, having been all round the little outback checking on the plants and shrubs she moved yesterday and sellotaping up a couple of twigs that had come undone. (this did work on a buddleia branch folks, either that or the magic spell I cast when she wasn't looking!x)
 

 
There we are!! Ruggles keeping a beady eye on me folks!!The little outback we love it.XX
 
All the pollyticians are on their hols except when they're not and all over the news it is still boring boris who writes a column in a newspaper that a few people read AND makes poor jokes at other people's expense.  NOT GOOD and a cheap laugh never bodes well no wonder he is no longer the stand up comedian for the foreign office is it?? - and down on the allotment Jezzer is doing a bit of weeding but he may have missed some whilst Vinnie is definitely on his hols as he is as quiet as a mousey.X
 
On the good TV, Owner has clung to her fave progs AND watched the grand finale of Versailles...SIGH. We love a newbie series called Age before Beauty and I did say to Owner you know all about that Owner but she may not have heard me above the kettle boiling for a nice cup of tea. Then in Corrie Gemma and Henry miss out on buying the rovers and instead Jonnie who pinched babee soosie has bought it with his Jenny.  and LIZ will not leave her post behind the bar even though Jonnie thought it best if she did. 'I'M GOING NOWHERE!' she says. Abi has fallen for Steve who is marrying Tracee and Carling black eyebrows told Peetah to get lost when he said how good they were together....tonight we are on the edge of the red settee with Casualtee folks as last week was a mighty cliffhanger with the ambulance skittering on the motorway before it turned over!!! XX
 
In between all these horrid happenings with smug robots chiming on about how they would deal with your crisis (they would smile and be nice and drag all the way to the nearest pick up point even though it means setting off in the middle of the night and paying a taxi hundreds of pounds AND being put down miles from home at midnight or thereabouts.............. X) and Owner admits to being a really bad customer full of sarcasm and nastiness.  I TOLD THEM IT WOULD COME BACK ON THEM WONKA!! Oh, that Karma thing...................every cloud I says back.......XXXX
 
Now folks, turn the other furry cheek and IF this should happen to you with your best holidee, don't despair I say because I reckon an even better holidee NOT costing an arm and a leg is round the corner.  I do.XX  so best paw forward, sleek down that fur and NO NIBBLING!! big Love Wonka XX
 

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