Saturday, 12 August 2017

Silly Billy Season

IT IS AUGUST as if we did not know this screeched Owner to me!!  There are now two stock answers for all know problems.  Excuses rolled out to explain everything that IS GOING WRONG.

What are they Wonka? you all shout at me anxious to know.  herewith:

1.  YOU MOTHER IS EIGHTYSIX YOU KNOW...... this remark is guaranteed (spelling!! good use of word!! X) to get Owner's mood setting from round about 2 to 3 to TEN in seconds folks.  she is dribbling at the mouth saying things like ' WELL I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!' and 'AND??????? £$%*****^%$££ .  This answers practically any questions Owner may put forward EVEN IF it is not relevant.

2.  IT IS AUGUST YOU KNOW..... this one explains why joiners cannot be found for love nor money and specially not by Owner's landlord. Again, more dribbling at the mouth when Owner says it is over a month ago that she first (nicely folks X) put in a request for a straightforward job to fix a window.  Is it fixed folks??? well it is August you know..............(the whole universe and all joiners are on holiday. or sick. or just not there.X)

Here we are !!! It is that nice Larry cat from Number 10 with a postcard from thingy.  she is on some trotting around holidee BECAUSE IT IS AUGUST. X
Now all these frets and worries to one side how is Owner bearing up you all wonder to me?  You will be pleased to know the latest complaint is filed away AND a series of appointments, ALL UNECESSARY Wonka, to aged parent have been cancelled.  IT IS ALRIGHT for them, she moaned up to me, TO GO SICK and change appointments - she did say more than that folks, but she didn't notice I had popped upstairs to my secret hidey and I cannot hear anything once I am there.X  YES SHE IS FINE and her mood setting is approx. 4 -5.  End of X
Listen to this though Folks!!! Owner set off yesterdee determined to spend some money (alright dust down the credit card X) BUT CAME BACK with de rien!!  I didn't like the rugs she goes to me (for the front room which no one PeRSONNE ever goes in) AND I could not find what I wanted in the charity shop.  This rarely happens folks and today may be different.  I did say do we really need an expensive rug but she may not have heard me above changing the facilities.  NO it was not me it was Bertrude.X
Ruggles barely says a word these days and I think in his head he has gone on a long holiday.  Infact in aged parent language it is his age.  Since Owner found a nice soft blanket for him (it was Diva's, Owner's beloved dog of yore,X) and laid it down in the kitchen he has loved it.  I did say what about me but quickly agreed with Owner that I do have millions alright a fair few resting up spots on each level of our new home.X  PS Bertude is sugar dandy and is either going blind or deaf or both of them as she hardly noticed when I glided by her and ate most of her very expensive biscuits up.X
What then, you all shout at me HAS KEPT US going and kept Owner's chin up??  A nice phone call with cousin did help folks, where they both moaned to each other and laughed.  This is said cousin she is the biz AND Owner will have a break away later on this year.  I am already making plans for a very spoilt time of it!

There she is!! and who knows folks, she could even visit us! (it is August.X)

Now there has been more huffing and puffing from Donwald the Trump who cannot stop himself.  Back here, there is still the mantle of silence except from silly billy Kipper party who are busy deciding what horrid platform to sell their next political wares from AND who is to head them up!!! We still love Vinnie the Cable in this house. X

On the telly at the minute folks is The Stand.  WHAT IS THAT Wonka? you all say frightened you are missing a new boxset. NYET!  it is a Stephen King story from a zillion years ago BUT we are loving it.  it is about the end of the world well for the US of A then and all the survivors are headed to a jolly old black grandma Abigail in the styx and opposite a giant cornfield.  it is the BIZZ.  Aside from this we clung to Animal Rescue Live with good supervet, and those 10 puppies too.  it has been I am pleased to say a very animal loving week here and even the aged parent tuned in despite being 86.  I know.X

Time to have a brief look ahead to the coming week folks.  Owner is all geared up for MORE DAFT EXCUSES and will turn the tables with a few of her own. ME? thanks for asking, hoping to enjoy a few zzzzzzzzzzzz on the workbench outback in the sunnyshine if there is some (IT is AUGUST.X) Big Love Wonka XX PS here I am doing just that X