Sunday, 8 December 2013

Snooker Sundee

Wonka here.  Got up and thought what is different what is wrong?  I'll tell you folks out there, it was a stone cold house that was the difference!   When Owner goes quiet now that is the time to keep your eye on the door or in my case, under the bed.  I said, can you fix it Owner, or shall we just freeze?  I have a good solid back up for any cold crisis and it is straight under the duvet.  Honestly I have never been so toasty.  Owner found the special emergency number for the heating engineers.  Still no panic in sight and had even inspected the innards of the boiler!  GO STEADY! I said.

Fresh para and while we were waiting and waiting and waiting for our heating emergency to be responded to, life went on.   Did you ring the right number I queried?  yes said Owner, it had changed but the voice that seemed to be speaking from under water gave me a new one.  I rang it and left a message. (end of quote folks).  OH I said.  Now we are on Day 4 of Wonka's Advent but is really Day 8 as you know.
The Holly and the Iveeee!!  I love it, and do not tell me you can see a face in it!! (I can see a Rudolph, not Jesus but Rudolph).  Once more Owner has writ in big bold letters what it is in case you are beyond help.
Possibly final para.  Now although Owner put the oven on it did become near to freezing and I did have to go in the duvet.  The extra advantage to this is I cannot then hear Owner going mad with frustration that the emergency line is on holiday.  Why is no one bothering!  She shouted this so I could just about hear it.  What then happens when no one is bothering is that Owner takes it upon herself to heal whatever is wrong.  You may know folks there is a good number of little wires inside a boiler.  Electricity and water, now there's a combination.  but Owner is not put off and does go into the innards and inspects.  A little orange light does blink on and off and this encourages Owner to do a little more DIY!  Then, a flash of genius.  That hand of the plumbing god it came down.  it told Owner to turn the little tap of water and see what happens.  HEATING happened!!  I am very proud of Owner, yes.  Black eyes, dallying with boilers, there is no end to her bravery.
Real final para.  alongside this she did go out, and I did get some peace and quiet.  Good Ruggles appeared at the good back door and did a big silent miouaw (spelling!) or hiss for breakfast.  Owner quickly sorted him and the shed out.  I have had chicken naturally, and Ruggles will have a portion for his tea.  The shed is starting to look like a delux cattery without the price tag.  We may as well throw open the door to all waifs and strays Owner, I said.  We could starve as you know.  Now to distract us from the fact that Owner has no job and no income and seems to be in denial, we are watching snooker.  Owner loves snooker and loves John Virgo who is always saying and where is the ball going!!  Our money or should I say toytown money is on Selby to win it.  Beyond this, we are watching a lot of results.  We are in love with Abi and Ali they are a (quote) handsome couple and then we must watch the hex Factor as tensions are OUT THERE.  Good Dermot is running a tight ship and we love him.  Now do go steady out there in the world wherever you are folks.  Big Love Wonka x